Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Dino Watt
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Introducing Dino Watt
Todays guest joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast is Mr Dino Watt.
He is a man who kindly had me on his amazing show “The Business Of Marriage” back in November 2014, and such a good time we had, well I just had to reciprocate to bring him on my own.
He is a man who has so many things going on his life that quite simply he could be classed a man married to his job, but actually his job is to bring work and marriage together.
He looks for the happy point where he can work hard, enjoy himself, but also keep his marriage to his beloved wife Shannon ticking along better than most.
And instead of keeping this secret to himself, and feeling content that he has managed to do something that so many people struggle with he helps others to do the same.
How The Dots Joined Up For Dino
Since January 2006, he has coached mentored and supported individuals and companies across America to work harder than they thought possible to reconnect, communicate at a deeper level, and support their other halves.
And when it comes to the entrepreneurs of the world, who quite often focus more on their business to create the income that they want than spending quality time with their special ones.
As he says “The fastest way to increase your financial income in your business and your emotional income in your personal life is by strengthening your relationship capitol. “
So did he ever go in an opposing direction to where he is now, and fall into the trap that brings so many couples to their knees.
And what is the key mistakes that people make when they start to build a new life for themselves?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots the one and only Mr Dino Watt.
During the show we discussed weighty subjects with Dino Watt such as:
How clothing can make a huge statement as to the branding of our work, and plays to your authentic self massively.
Why it is so important to act and talk like we already have whatever we want in life.
Why we should remove ourselves from people who are not bringing any value into our lives, no matter how difficult it is.
How he now believes that the hardest part of his life was simply an experience to learn from, and now gains great strength from the struggle.
We find out how he has managed to become an expert in waxing ladies eyebrows (yes, he wanted this fact kept hidden!)
How To Connect With Dino Watt
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Dino Watt Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:22]
Yes, hello, everybody, and welcome to Episode 240 of Join Up Dots. And I’m so excited because it’s Christmas Eve. Yes, I’ve been good all year. And I think the big man is going to come and bring me something amazing. I don’t know what he’s going to bring me. I’m a dad. So he probably bring me a load of credit card bills or something. Now I shouldn’t say things like that. But um, it’s um, it’s going to be a good night. And if you don’t listen, tomorrow, I will let you off. Just make sure that you listen to two episodes, but day after. But let me introduce you to today’s guest, he a man who kindly add me on he’s amazing show the business of marriage back in November and such good time we had Well, I just had to reciprocate. To bring him on my own. He is a man who has so many things going on in his life, that quite simply, he could be classed as a man married to his job. But actually, his job is to bring work and marriage together, it looks about a happy point where we can work hard enjoy himself, but also keep his marriage to his beloved wife Shannon ticking along better than most. And instead of keeping this secret to himself, and fading contend that he has managed to do something that so many people struggle with. He helps others to do the same since January 2006. He’s coached mentored and supported individuals and companies across America to work harder than a fault possible to reconnect, communicate at a deeper level and support their other half. So when it comes to the entrepreneurs or the world, we quite often focus more on their businesses to create the income that they that I want been spending quality time with their special ones. He’s your man, as he says, The fastest way to increase your financial income in your business and your emotional income in your personal life is by strengthening your relationship capital. So did he ever go in an opposing direction to where he is now and fall into the trap that brings so many couples to their knees? And what is the key mistake that people make when they start to build a new life for themselves? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start Join Up Dots the one and only Mr. Dino Watt. How are you Dino Watt?
Dino Watt [2:27]
I’m great. Thank you for that intro. That was awesome centre going, man. I need to have that trans that transcript because that’s awesome. Thank you so much.
David Ralph [2:34]
It’s Christmas Eve. Dino Watt, have you been as good as me this year?
Dino Watt [2:39]
You know, I can say i have i’ve been pretty dang good this year. Actually, it’s, it’s been a really amazing year. So yeah, I’m excited about it. I’m excited for a new year happening in 2015. See what we can do with that because 2014 has been awesome.
David Ralph [2:53]
Would you like a little bit of and they know no one’s listening to this. So it doesn’t matter. All right. But would you like a little bit of your self to be on the naughty list as well? Is there a part of you that actually has that vibe to see what happens? By going on the naughty list?
Dino Watt [3:08]
No, but I love it when my wife is. Oh, here we go. Here’s the deal.
David Ralph [3:12]
This is how you keep the marriage going.
Dino Watt [3:14]
That’s right. Let her get a little naughty. Is that little saucy? Right and in England there but yeah, there is definitely you know what I’ll say not not a lazy I am very lazy at points. And I love the lazy side of me like today even my wife and I work on that this is a perfect day justice just to ditch everything and go to a movie or just hang out so that might be a little naughty. I like that part. Yeah.
David Ralph [3:38]
Well, you lazy man, man because you do you know in the introduction, and we can we connected on your show and you seem to have so much going on. But I can’t imagine there’s a kind of laying around in your PJs version of Dino Watt it seems like you are you are on for what if you get my pump?
Dino Watt [3:56]
Well, it’s funny, I really do like to work hard. But I I also like to just chill out and relax. And I’ll work really hard for a spurts. So I can just relax and not do anything I just got back. Literally I know the show is being aired on December 24. But in our time, it’s just a few days ago I would came back from Kenya, Africa, spent two weeks there just doing nothing but like humanitarian work and just you know, Safari. And that’s that’s why I work as hard as I do in certain areas. But on that note, I’ll be honest, I mean, a lot of my days are spent in my pyjamas. And that’s what I love about being an entrepreneur. You know, even with some of my clients, I’ll have a really nice shirt on top. So they can see me through Skype or however we’re coaching. And I’ll be wearing my pyjamas or shorts below because I’m an entrepreneur and that’s something that is the luxury that I have some
David Ralph [4:46]
Dino Dino I record live every day you you’ve shared something that the listeners weren’t aware of.
Dino Watt [4:55]
I love it. It’s you know, but that’s that’s the point right is as an entrepreneur you can to own your own life. That’s the goal anyway is to own your own life to kind of write the rules the way you want to have them written and and hopefully make some money off of it. Hopefully it impact people’s lives. And there are no set rules. Now when I go out and I do my speeches and my performances and I’m up on stage and stuff then yeah, I’m obviously I’m not in my pyjamas. Although I have no problem just like really being able to sit back, relax and chill as much as I can. So there’s a professional side. And then there’s that everyday side.
David Ralph [5:29]
But But the funny thing is you could do that, couldn’t you this is something that I’m very aware of recently. But if your branding, link up to that kind of image to yourself, bang, you could do that. If you look at the sort of the Richard Branson image, it’s very relaxed, very playful. If you look at some of the sort of real motivational speaker, speakers that get up there, in jeans and T shirts when they’re in front of like, 10,000 people, whatever. It’s because the branding ties up, you could be Mr. PJ if you wanted to.
Dino Watt [6:00]
Yeah, and you know, it’s funny as I’ve often thought of that, because I do work my clientele is very specific icon pro painters there, you know, professionals, doctors, Orthodontist dentist, who are, you know, forced into the entrepreneurial world. And so I, I started when I did my branding, I started off with the branding of Oh, I have to look a little more professional I used to wear you know, the suit, jacket and a tie. Now, a lot of times I’ll just wear the suit jacket without the tie to my wife’s chagrin. But it is, it’s something that I’ve thought about going man, could I rebrand this of like, hey, if I was more casual, if I was maybe doing like the Steve Jobs, you know, the turtleneck and the jeans, can I get away with that. And it’s definitely something that I think about quite often.
David Ralph [6:42]
I think you could and I think if it’s authentic to you, and it’s actually your key essence, if you’re playing it being sort of a young playboy kind of image when it’s not going to work. You and me just kind of middle aged men, and it’s going to look stupid. But if we were dressing like we dress normally and people, you know respond to about I think you could, could you
Dino Watt [7:06]
Yeah, and that’s that’s what I think is interesting as I really try to dress to who I believe I am like I do like clothes, I like going getting a nice shirt and you know stuff. But I do find sometimes people who who start growing in their businesses, as you mentioned, were middle aged guys. And then they start wearing the clothing, you know what the, the doily patches on the butt or the you know, they go from the suits to the jeans and the cool hipster jacket and it doesn’t fit. So however I dress I want to really make sure it fits to who I am on stage and for my whole character. Because there I think there’s a sense to with what I do, I’m dealing with people’s relationships and a very specific way. And I want them to know I take it seriously. And so I think sometimes clothing can portray, hey, what I’m doing here, not only am I serious about it, but you should take it seriously too. So there’s a good balance there. And I think that’s something that over the last probably three years, I’ve really tried to find, like I said, I used to wear a suit and tie used to be, and it really buttoned up. My wife loves me wearing a tie because she loves to match the tie with the shirt. And she’s kind of into fashion that way. But now that I’ve grown a little more, and I’ve changed my branding a bit and gone more to just the nice shirt with maybe a suit jacket or maybe not. But just having that kind of casual up nicer Look, that’s actually been more comfortable and relaxed for me. And my clients seem to be fine with it, too.
David Ralph [8:36]
I think that’s one of the things that my wife regrets about my entrepreneurial leap, but I’ve stopped wearing suits and ties I just have no need for it. And my my clothing is more like I’m about to decorate if you know that kind of where you think, Oh, I gotta get
Unknown Speaker [8:53]
ready to paint a room. Yeah,
David Ralph [8:55]
I’m gonna get paint on this. I’ll just wear that. That’s all right. No one’s looking. Exactly. And I could be wearing anything. I might not be wearing anything at all Dino Watt?
Dino Watt [9:05]
That’s right. I know. So you you do audio? I do do my show a lot of times with video. So, gotta be careful on that one. But absolutely, you know, it’s it’s nobody knows.
David Ralph [9:15]
So let’s frame your life at the moment because you are a podcaster you’re a manager, you’re a coach, you’ve got so many things going on in your life. And it seems to me that although you’ve been working hard since January 2006, the last couple of years is when it’s really come together and all the pieces have kind of jailed somehow you put all this the speed working, you’ve done the foundations, and now you built the roof and everything’s going great in your life. When you started back in 2006 was it the plan where you are now? Or was it just something that you kind of move towards because you thought you was going to be good at it?
Dino Watt [9:57]
The the ladder? Yeah, I, I really had a passion for doing the marriage thing and helping people with their marriage. And when I put together the idea of taking people’s taking business principles and systems and putting them into people’s relationships. It was a huge Aha, I knew it was going to work. I was super passionate about it. But I had no idea it could become what it was Yeah, I kind of fantasy about God become like a, you know, Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura type thing, but without the credentials behind my name. And I just really started to I started wanting to just to help people and have an impact in their relationship. But I didn’t quite know I would say even floundered a little bit, because I didn’t have a specific direction. One of the things that has helped so much my business over the last few years is the the niches of it, I very much have narrow down my market. Whereas when I first started I was in that attitude that I think a lot of entrepreneurs get into is, I’m going to help everybody, you know, everybody’s my client, everybody is my avatar. And I didn’t realise that doing so I was not helping as many people as I possibly could. I wasn’t branding myself the way that I should. So when I first started, it was really just I had a passion for it, I didn’t really have my vision was this, which is still to this day is I want to reverse the direction of divorce in the in the country and in the world. But I didn’t quite understand how to do that in the most effective way. And then on the other side of that too, I had already been speaking on stages and stuff like that with with another programme that I had developed. And so I thought, immediately, you know, people were going to see the genius behind me and people were going to see how revolutionary my ideas were. And of course, everybody would want me on their stage and everybody would want me as a guest. And when that didn’t really happen, it was kind of a bit of a letdown. And I had to once again find my way.
David Ralph [11:49]
But that’s a key thing that people don’t realise when you in a corporate gig and you get this entrepreneurial vibe, and you kind of think yes, do my own thing. Part of it, for me certainly was the case, I was going to do my own thing. And I was going to be able to choose my hours. And I’m going to be able to Swan around doing what I want, and having long pub lunches and it’s going to be marvellous. And then the other side of it was that instantly The world is waiting for what I’m going to deliver. And my literally just have to leave here, go there, knock back a couple of pints have asleep. And then I made a squinty impound, but you don’t realise actually how much effort it takes just to get somebody to even look in your direction. So when you started, how long was it before somebody, for example, invited you up on stage and actually said, We want you to speak because we think that you are somebody worth listening to?
Dino Watt [12:48]
No, it wasn’t really that long, I went out and I created my own stages. First I had already, like I said been in the world of kind of doing speaking in public speaking and stuff. So I had already known how to kind of create my own programme. So within Gosh, when I finally made the decision to go for it and do it. I would say within a month I was doing my own workshops where I would just like rent out a little room, invite my friends and family and stuff like that and have them come in sometimes I would have, you know, 10 couples, sometimes I literally would have one couple in front of me. But I very quickly, because what I do is really unique in the sense of the positioning of it. I just went out and started talking as if I was already doing it with you know, clients and and I would do some for free just so I could be in integrity and say, Yeah, I have a few clients. And yeah, I’m doing this. And so I got myself into a few little circles, that it clicked with people. So for example, my first radio show that I was on as a guest for the business of marriage was I would say maybe six months into the journey. And I hadn’t planned out Listen, when I first realised the business of marriage, and I had the map in my head, I literally had everything written out of the tools that I would use and how I would correlate it with each other. So it wasn’t just kind of off the top of my head type stuff. And so when I was on a radio show, it just made it really simple for them to start asking me questions and get me involved in that. And then that host actually invited me to speak at his company. And then it just kind of snowballed from there. I started having not huge wins, but enough wins that people would say Hey, will you come and speak to this group over here? or speak to that group over there? And in my mentoring, one of the things I talked about is is acting as if and that served me really well acting as if I was already the big huge Dr. Phil guru fake it to you. Right, exactly. And not not an out of integrity way but in a way of Hey, this is who I am. It’s kind of like what you’re saying with the the idea that hey, I’m everybody should should have my or want what I have, everybody should should want me as a guest on their show. And when you have that attitude, it makes it a lot easier. However, when you’re living in it, and nobody’s calling you it makes it really hard. So as an entrepreneur, it’s important to have the mindset over sometimes the reality because then it will become the reality if you keep thinking that way.
David Ralph [15:13]
Oh, I like that. Did you buy into the old Napoleon Hill Think and Grow Rich book, but everyone talks about?
Dino Watt [15:20]
I do and the sense of Kayla, I used to do it real estate is to teach real estate investing to people and and I would talk about this principle of act as if Okay, if you want to be a millionaire, then act as if you’re a millionaire. And I would get every every once in a while, probably even probably every second time, I’d say that somebody would go, Okay, well, I’m just gonna go buy an escalator right now. Or I’m going to go buy a house, you know, that I can’t afford? Because that’s what a millionaire would do? And I would always say no, no, that’s not the principle. And from Napoleon Hill, or any of these other guys, the principle isn’t going to be like, irresponsible about it, but act as if make the decisions that they wouldn’t make in order to make the million dollars. So you can do it. So start having the mindset, start putting in order the things that need to happen so that when you make the million dollars, it’s not a huge shock to your life. The other stuff going out and buying an escalator a big car like that. That’s irresponsible. And that’s not what a millionaire would do.
David Ralph [16:18]
Because it is it’s all mindset, isn’t it? I used to be in corporate land. And I used to say to people, but they used to go, I’d like a promotion. And I’d say, Well, what are you doing for that promotion? Well, I’m I’m doing my job better than that person sitting next to me, I used to say that’s not good enough, what you need to do is get noticed. And I used to preach the same thing. Actors if you were a person in the job now. So about the managers would look around the guy who would be a natural fit for that role when so and so leaves, oh, what about so and so because you’re already doing what they expect for it. And that’s the same kind of logic, isn’t it? But if you act in a certain way, ultimately, you have a belief system that comes I have films around those actions, but then other people looking around at you will also buy into them as well, because you’re playing the part but they want to see. Yeah,
Dino Watt [17:11]
and and it’s it’s really putting yourself in that position and making yourself and in my case, you were talking about with the corporate job is make yourself totally so valuable, that they have to move you up. Or that if it comes time for cutting, you know, costs or maybe hanging out pink slips or firing people laughs, that you’re, they don’t even think of you because you’re so valuable. Not that you’re costing them money, but that you’re playing the part so well, that there’s no way they would even think about that. That’s what I did. When I started the business as I was I talked to people as if I was already doing and this is a big challenge that I see in a lot of entrepreneurs that I coach now and stuff like that is they, they start with this idea of, Hey, I’m going to or I want to do that thing. Or hey, I’m thinking about that doing this thing where I really like to help people with this. No, you talk You talk as if you are doing it now. And that takes away the confidence or lack of confidence factor that people might have in you. I got a lot of gigs from people when that because I would talk as if I was already doing it, or I would have the confidence of this is what’s going on my life. And they would hire me. And then sometimes I would have to go Oh, great. Now I got to think of what would I talk about? I’ll give a good example. I had a guy invite me on his show. And he wanted me to talk about communication between couples. And he said, Do you have any rules or communication or stuff like that? And I said, Yeah, you know, I could probably do something like the 10 commandments of communication literally came off the top of my head. I didn’t know. I didn’t have that in the record books or anything. I just said yeah, I could probably somebody 10 grammes communication went, Oh, that sounds good. Anyway, great. That’s perfect for my audience. To not even two weeks, it was like a week later, I was on a show. But during that week before it went, Okay, now I need the 10 minutes again, communication, I created the programme. I had bullet points. I did the interview. And now that ebook is something because I made it into an E book is now something I give out to all of my audiences. And it’s one of my the thing they love the most it’s something that just came off top my head, but because I was willing to say yes. And move forward. I have now huge when I call a long tail of things I can use for that from the ebook to the recording that I can give away. And it’s because I was willing to act as if in the moment. And as opposed to saying, Well, I don’t know, maybe I’ll think of something let me get back to which is a thing a lot of entrepreneurs do is that they’ll get back to you instead of saying yes, and figuring it out in between now and the time for it to happen.
David Ralph [19:38]
Well, Richard Branson always says yes. And then as you say, he goes and finds people that can help him do it. Screw it, let’s do it. And I think there is a lot of how can you say it’s not holding back and it’s not fear. It’s just, you don’t want to risk what you’ve got. And I think that is one of the things that holds people back there in a job and I don’t really like it, but it’s not too bad. They’re in a relationship that they don’t really like, but it’s not too bad. And when you say to them, why don’t you do x y Zed? Yeah, yeah, that’s what I would love. And then you speak to them six months later, and they’re still doing exactly the same things I haven’t really moved on because it hasn’t got bad enough to actually do something about it. Have you ever had a part of your life that was so bad that you was forced to move job or, or transition somehow just to escape from that pain towards the pleasure?
Dino Watt [20:33]
I think Marcia, I definitely have had people in my life that they were, they were pains, but not paying enough for me to me like they weren’t, they weren’t adding any value to my life they were and sometimes sucking it. And because of the history that we had together, because of my own, you know, guilt or whatever I would keep in that relationship. But you know, I think the thing that was really the biggest pain mover in my life was right after I’d started the business America probably about two years into it as around 19 2008, I guess it was, I had an opportunity to start investing in this in real estate investment. This is where I was going to make like 12, the 10 to 12% a month return on my money. And it was I invested in it was going great. And I taken my my my eye off the prize, which was the business of marriage for the quick greed of the money. And, of course, as most things do that are you know, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is it fell apart. And I had taken my eye off the ball so much that I found myself in a place where we were about to lose our house, we’re in the midst of going to have to go bankrupt. Because I had focused on and I wasn’t willing to do anything I was kind of I was almost paralysed with know, I can make it work. No, I can make it work. The pain still, at that point wasn’t bad enough. Until I my wife, you know, came to me and was like, man, we’re not making us like this isn’t working she our relationship was still strong. But we’re going to lose our house. I don’t want her words to me were this that actually smacked me in the face where I have worked too hard. I’m not losing my house that I had to really shift and the pain made me go and get a job where I was working door to door sales selling alarm systems in Yuma, Arizona, which is about 120 degrees heat.
David Ralph [22:37]
Summer, I’ve been to Yuma, I’ll talk about
Dino Watt [22:43]
it’s crazy hot there. But I had to get the pain was so bad. In that case that I had to do something to support my family. And because of that, you know, I got to refocus and stuff. But I would say that that pain shifted me in a big way. And it wasn’t my pain. That’s the thing. It was me seeing the pain of my wife and seeing the pain of my kids. That really shocked me. But I totally understand because there are people in my life. And people that I coach that I go through the same conversation with them. It’s like, Okay, well, then the pain is not bad enough, Oh, I hate my job. I hate this. I hate my relationship. It’s not, you know, doing what I want it to do. Okay, well, then, but it’s not bad enough, because you’re not changing it.
David Ralph [23:21]
Because I sacked a lot of my mates or fired from what you say I’ve been fired. And I realised a few years back, and it’s funny when I might dish I was Join Up Dots. And when I look back at certain parts of my life, I think, Oh, I can see where I was moving towards. But at a time you come. And I just realised I was going through my email box once. And I was very much into productivity and streamlining and getting rid of everything that was bogging me down. And I realised that I had so many contacts and emails, but I never spoke to. And I thought to myself, this is silly. Why have I got so many? I will just get rid of it. But then I thought to myself, no, but there might be some words, well, they’re so I sent an email to them saying, I haven’t spoken to you for a year. If you want to meet up for a beer, great, but if you don’t just don’t respond to this, and I’m going to delete you off. And I did that. And I sort of cleared a lot of the the ones I didn’t see anymore. And whether they like that or not, I don’t know, I got a one or two responses going, Oh, yeah, no, sorry, may It’s been so long, we should have a beer, it’d be great to catch up. And so I sort of met up with him. But then I took it to the next level. And I realised that when I was meeting up with, quote unquote friends, quite often they were bringing me down. And they were just not friends, I would kind of like friends of convenience I they’d grown around me somehow. But actually, they weren’t providing me any value. And I had to get rid of them as well. And that was really hard because I kind of got rid of them to feed positivity in my life. But for a while, I just didn’t have any friends. And I was just like kind of a lonely individual. And you kind of is it better to have these miserable people in your life, at least we’ll go out with you to have a drink. And you stand there for two hours listening to the moaning or not. So I thought No, it’s not. And what I’ve realised now, and I will say this to all the listeners, that if you allow yourself a space around you, and you act in a certain way, I in a very positive way, and try to act successful. And I suppose this is what we were talking about earlier, you become like a success vacuum and you start sucking people in and positive people in. And now when I look at all the people that I’m connected to, I have a face to face, or virtually and nowadays, a lot of it is virtual. There’s not many misery guts in my life. They’re all people that are trying their own things and doing great stuff and inspiring each other. And I think you do have to clear the deck somehow to move on to certain parts of your life. Do you think that?
Dino Watt [25:52]
Yeah, absolutely. I agree. I also I agree in sorting as well. Like, I think there are, there are people that you need to you need to really look at the people that are around you in your life and, and be honest with yourself about who they are. And and not blame them for who they are and not try to change them for who they are. But accept that there’s a reason you brought them into your life. And there’s a definitely a reason you let them stay in your life. And one of the things that I’ve really tried to do over I would say probably the last six years, maybe even the whole decade is I’ve allowed people to be who they are and allowed myself to set up the boundaries that Alex I’ll allow them to be into my life. So for example there and I know, I know, some people are listening to this going, Well, what if they’re your family members? You know, what if they share your same last name, and they’re just like time sex or I call them crap magnet? People who are
David Ralph [26:47]
related, right? Good?
Dino Watt [26:48]
Well, well, especially because you know, when crap hits on them at splatters, right, and it’s going to get on you too, if you’re standing too close. So you want to really kind of distance yourself what the challenge is this is you have to be willing to be to allow yourself to even look at them in certain categories. So I’ll admit, I have friends who don’t have a clue about my world personal development, being up on stage, like some people probably don’t even know exactly what I do. But that’s, that’s by design. It’s because I know from conversations of how they react, or even stuff that they’ve said to me that I go, Okay, well, I don’t need to cut you off completely. But you’re in this category over here. I used to say years ago, you know, you can have your friends that are even your complainer friends that sometimes you just need to complain. So I can call them up once a year and say, Hey, what’s going on, I know, they’re going to start complaining, they’re gonna allow me to complain, I’m gonna hang up the phone and go great, I got that out of me. There are people in your life that you have got to be able to let show up as who they are. And once you accept who they are, like fully, and not blaming them for who they are, then you can totally have a different shift in your relationships that goes with your spouse as well. A lot of couples get into the place of I wish they would just understand this, I’ll give you a much better example. I have people come to me all the time who go through some sort of personal development programme, say, let’s just say a wife goes to a Tony Robbins event. And of course, you’re going to come on from Tony Robbins event. And you’re going to be totally pumped up super excited, energised. And a lot of times, they’ll have a phrase that they use, like, Oh, I found myself or I stepped into my power, which I don’t quite understand what that means. But they’ll use phrases like that, right? And then they’ll go home to their spouse. And they’ll say, Honey, you’ve got to go through what I went through, and you need to have a better life. And you can do this and then the other and they’re all excited. And their spouses like, and I’m perfectly fine. Who I am right now, I don’t know. And it causes tension between the two of them. So I’ll have that wife kind of mango Dino, how can I get them to totally like step into their power too, because I’m afraid we’re going to grow apart if they don’t? And my answer is always, you can’t, all you can do is fully show up the way you want to show up right now. express yourself the way that you want to express yourself, not expecting a single thing from them. Because if you do expect something from them, if you can’t move forward, or if you’re going to be frustrated, if they don’t become like you or have that same feeling as you, then it will be the cause for you to blame them for you not moving forward, instead of you just moving forward. But you have to be willing to look at them as that’s who they are. They’re perfect and who they are right now. They’re wonderful who they are right now. Maybe they’re not the people I want to stay, I want to go have a beer with. Maybe they’re the people that I want to hang out even on holidays with. But they’re who they are right now. And that’s the category I categorise my friends and my family members all the time, because it makes life a lot easier.
David Ralph [29:51]
I have about three friends really. But I would say and I’m sure people are listening, they’re up to this who sort of know me personally and well, I bought up your friend, friend. Yeah. But I would say I would have my wife, I would say I’ve got big fail if you’re listening big Phil. And I would say I’ve got a chap called Danny and that they are the three close mates. But if they, if they phoned me at three o’clock in the morning, I would get up and I would go well either it LY phone me at three o’clock in the morning. Hopefully she’s next to me. So that’d be a nice and easy journey. But all the others, and then the others would be Yeah, I’d be there. You know if it’s if I can. But I would say when it comes to close friendships, it would be both pre and I thought to have those free.
Dino Watt [30:37]
Let’s be real David, sometimes at three o’clock in the morning, you’re in your studio, and your wife might have to call you and say, hey, it’s time to come to bed. Right?
David Ralph [30:45]
Well, this is a thing actually, yes. Because how does your spouse understand your passion for something when it starts to overtake your life because they want to see you putting effort in nobody wants to come come home and find a partner laying on the sofa playing Xbox, video games dressing game all the time. But they also don’t want to see you burning the candle at both ends. And I’m more the latter. I’m somebody that gets so passionate about something. But literally I don’t look after myself. I used to read these storeys, and it was like these guys. And I used to find it fascinating and slightly strange. So I liked it in a weird kind of tortured way, where people would immerse themselves so much into a fantasy computer game, but they actually wouldn’t sleep or drink or do anything for like four days. And they were like living that virtual world and basically killing themselves. So how does your your spouse look at your situation, when you’re trying to do the entrepreneurial leap? You’re trying to bring money in so that you don’t lose your house? But ultimately, you’re pushing yourself to fail anyway.
Dino Watt [31:54]
So we’re that the way the question is set up is how does your spouse except basically, where you are, the challenge is not that the challenge is you making sure that you set it up to where your your spouse never has to question that or be concerned about that. So there are two main drivers women have. And if guys would just get this and anything like you’re passionate about your, your radio show, if you’re up until three o’clock in the morning editing or putting stuff together. That’s that’s actually fine, as long as you obey the two rules to help motivate women. And then in this case, yeah, they might be concerned, if you’re doing that every day, like if you’re doing like the video game thing, like you’re talking about with guys who don’t eat for four days, whatever. But you’re probably not gonna do that if you follow these two rules. And the first rule is that women need to feel secure. So as long as they know that what you’re doing is helping secure them physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually, then that’s one big part of it. But you have to be willing to let them feel that way by what you’re doing, you have to inform them, you have to educate them, you have to give them a reason to feel secure. And then to back that up. They have to, which is the second motivator, they have to feel validated in what they’re doing. And that what is happening is going to continue their feeling of security. So if you could do that, then you coming from that place means that you’re going to make better decisions on Hey, you know what I am working, you know, 14 hour days, but I’m going to make sure that I set aside five hours this Friday to go and take my wife on a date, or I am making sure that we have dinner conversations or that I invite her into the studio just to say hey, how much I’m thinking about her. Or even I’m sending her a text in the middle of the day to say, Hey, I’m busy at work, but I just want to let you know that I love you. And I’m thinking of you. That type of stuff both secures them and makes them feel secure and numbered and makes them feel validated that the decision they’ve made to marry you to be with you to support you is the right one.
David Ralph [34:00]
I think that’s very wise Mr. What. And if my marriage starts going pear shaped, as we say in the United Kingdom, which means slightly wrong, I’m going to contact you. But okay, you are my man. But I’ve got a marriage, that is one that’s getting stronger. Because of the issues that we had when we first met. When we first met, it was all over the shop. She was already married. We had stepchildren who hated me. And it was just one of those kind of things that you look back on it. And you think why the hell did we go through with it. And now I say to her quite often, there’s not much that life can throw at us that we haven’t already dealt with. Right? And we just laugh at his face What? Nothing can touch us. So it becomes much stronger and stronger and stronger. And I always say to her, take everybody else away. We are rock solid, bring everybody else towards us, we get even more solid because the Unity gets better. Is that something that people need to be aware of that when issues occur and crack start to appear? They should sort of try to fill those cracks up together? Well, instead of working individually at doing it, because men are great fixers, aren’t we we kind of go Oh, leave it, I’ll do that. Don’t worry about it. But the women, as you say, like to be secure, but it’s all it’s it’s a togetherness?
Dino Watt [35:29]
Well, yeah, I mean, I, I use the analogy. Instead of cracks, I use like little smoke or fire, you know, it’s happening in the life in your life. And I think you both need to address it together, you both need to have a united front, that’s a real big challenge, especially when you have kids is you have to make sure there’s united front to let everybody know that you two are the most important part of that relationship. But I think a lot of times, people look at it as not a big deal. Oh, it’s not that big of a crack. It’s not, you know, that big of a fracture, what will take care of it later. I’m too busy now. And my opinion is, as soon as you see that happening, you need to address it. And if it’s small, that’s the great thing, because it’s a small at, you’ll have to address it in a small means. Whereas if you don’t, it’s going to get bigger, and there’s bigger issues you got to deal with later on. And it’s a bigger deal. So I use the analogy of the foolish fireman, which is when a wife, for example, points out a problem in their relationship and says, Hey, this is a challenge for me. And she basically points out the hot spot in the home. And the husband even though he’s a fixer, typically we’re fixers when it gets bad enough? Because a lot of times our fixing is well we’ll let time fix it. All right, you know, it’s not that big of a deal. If I don’t get too big of a deal, then why am I going to rush over to it. So it’ll get to the place to where he’ll say, it’s not really that hot, it’s no big deal. And then we’ll start showing a little bit of smoke. And she’ll say, Hey, this is really important to me, I really want us to focus on this, and maybe they’ll go to counselling, or maybe they’ll, you know, have a little conversation with their pastor or something like that. But really, he’s not taking it too seriously. Until finally there are flames. And then when the flames happen is when she starts freaking out. And he goes, Oh, I’ll rush into and try to fix it like you said, but by the time they’re flames, it’s going to go really fast, and it might be too late. So it’s really important to address it when things are hot, the small things that you think are insignificant, at least talk about them, find out how insignificant they are and see if you’re right. Because guess what, either way, it’s going to fix the problem. In most cases. It is an interesting point to marriage, as you were talking there, obviously, I’m reflecting on my own. And there are quite a lot of things that the wife will say, this needs to be done. And just because it’s not on my radar of important, I will kind of get
David Ralph [37:47]
Yeah, okay. Oh, yeah. And I don’t even really pay attention. And it is a fascinating thing that you know, don’t know about your probably, you’re you’re you’re a perfect man, I imagine
Dino Watt [37:58]
I can have conversation, live not on the show.
David Ralph [38:02]
And I can be laser focused with my listening for hours upon hours. So somebody says something with the slightest nuance I can pick up on it. And we can go in different directions. As soon as you get into a marriage situation, unless you have as we’d like to do sort of, we say communication night when we turn the telly off, and we just sit there and talk. And it’s it’s difficult to have those kind of moments where you really realise that, Oh, this is actually important for that person is they’re not just throwing it at you they actually want assistance or reassurance, because it’s just in the mix, isn’t it? Everything’s going on? The toast is burning, and the kids are running around and the dogs barking? How do you make that time? How do you make that time when somebody’s got an issue your spouse? And you kind of go? Yeah, okay, I’m hearing you and it cuts through everything?
Dino Watt [38:54]
Well, I do. Thank you, I love that you have a specific time that you talked about that you guys, okay, it’s a communication night and the note in turn the TV off, and it’s just the two of you. That’s actually a really powerful thing. One of the one of the staples that I teach about is called the marriage mastermind, where you have a set time every week, where you to sit around, no distractions, no kids, no cell phones, no TV, no, nothing. Just the two of you going over mundane things like your schedule all the way to thing questions like, how am I doing as a husband? How am I doing as a spouse so that you can have true conversation? A lot of people will go to the business principle, right? Because that’s what I do. And a business. What do you do to make sure everyone’s paying attention, and everyone’s on the same page, and ever, and you’re getting the best effort out of everyone. You hold things like employee evaluations, company retreats, you do things where there’s corporate trainings, like you do things specifically to get that attention to get that direction, and making sure everybody’s on the same page, why aren’t you doing that in your relationship as well? So that’s kind of where I would focus things.
David Ralph [40:02]
It would be what you’re saying makes perfect sense. But it would be a bit bizarre, wouldn’t it if you’re almost doing performance agreements on your on your wife?
Dino Watt [40:11]
Oh, no, I we, we do it. It’s bizarre, but it’s, it’s results, right? So it’s not a performance review in this sense of the idea of a performance review. But the question that I think is so important that I have all my clients ask is, okay, honey, how am I doing as a husband? And when I asked that question, I want know that I’m ready to hear it. But it’s also a trigger for my wife to know that I am an integrity, and with an open heart asking that question because I want to grow with her. So she knows it’s not a time to attack me. Well, let me tell you what, it’s not that it’s her going, Okay. And we teach how to actually give constructive criticism, how to start with a compliment, and then ask for the request that you have and then give another compliment. We teach that. But what it does is it opens a communication like none else, because I’ll be totally Ron honest here with my own family. My I’m a I love being a husband. I love being a dad. But it is a struggle for me to be that dad of a teenage daughter, who is strong willed, wants to have her own opinions and won’t listen to me all the time. Is that crazy? how kids do that? Like they grow up and they don’t listen to you anymore? It drives me crazy. But my wife is really good about when I asked that question. Her being would say, Okay, well, I noticed this week and your communication with Avery x y&z happened. And we should really try to work on X, Y, and Z. And I Oh, okay, that makes sense. Now I have it doesn’t become a fight between us. It’s not frustration between me and my daughter. It’s grown our relationship and I have three teenage kids at home, two girls and one boy. So there’s opportunities there. So even though we don’t have a checkoff list, having that question alone, in our employee evaluations, if he will call marriage masterminds, it helps the growth of the relationship because clarity is is so much power, clarity is power in your relationship. And too often things are unclear, because they’re unsaid.
David Ralph [42:14]
But are you supposed to because I’ve got three daughters, I’ve got four daughters. And yeah, it’s a different way of communicating. And quite often, we can go sort of days really without saying anything meaningful, because you know that if you do say anything meaningful, World War Three is going to break out. And so you just kind of don’t go over you pussyfoot around, but my daughter, who’s my, what’s she 24, she’s moving out this Saturday. And she’s got a flat down the road. And we’re going to set her up there. And even though I’m going to be the one moving all the furniture and stuff, she didn’t ask me directly, it goes via my wife. And then the wife says to me on Saturday, she needs you to do something. Yes, that’s fine. And then it goes via the wife again, do you find that happens in your relationship as well, but your wife becomes a kind of intermediate between you and your your kids?
Dino Watt [43:14]
I could see that in some, you know, I’m going to I’m going to say yes to that. And then place of my own laziness. What I mean by that is, I am not the I’m not the guy to ask the questions about this stuff, either. Like, like, I know, my wife’s got it covered. And when she needs me to do something, or she needs me to do something for the kids, she’ll let me know, today’s a good example tonight, after this interview, I’m going to be going to my son’s wrestling match. I had no idea about this wrestling match until yesterday, which is hard for my schedule, because I might have had clients tonight or whatever. But my wife has my schedule. And so she went to me yesterday and was like, oh, by the way, tonight, after in the afternoon, Hayden’s got a wrestling match that I want you to have your schedule cleared for. But it’s not something that I went out and found out I don’t talk to, you know, my kids to say what’s on your schedule, because I know mom’s got to take care of so the answer your question being Yes, she does become the immediate intermediary between us but I don’t think it’s for them, for lack of them not wanting to talk to me about it. It’s more so because they know Mom’s going to take care of that and the moms going to take care of me and and has that gotten us into some challenges before where we’ve double booked things and stuff. Yes, absolutely. But that communication flow and here’s the other thing my kids and I I take specific time out for each one of my kids in the sense of whether we’re driving and we’re going to go somewhere I’m I haven’t gone an errand with me. We do daddy date nights and January, I’m taking my oldest daughter to Florida with me when I’m speaking at an event, we definitely try to do stuff like that. So there are opportunities to have the real important conversations that need to happen between a dad and his daughter and dad and a son. But when it comes to that everyday like moving furniture type stuff, yeah, that would be something my wife would set up.
David Ralph [45:05]
Well, we discovered Google calendars where she was amazing. She now updates hers and it goes on to mine and I update mine and it goes on to hers and stuff and to be honest, I have a whole calendar now but says waxing or or fingernails and all these kind of stuff that ladies do over time. But that brings me up to a question Mr. What
Dino Watt [45:26]
what you’re saying waxing for yourself now but what’s
David Ralph [45:29]
nice about you and waxing ladies eyebrows or something? I was reading you oh
Unknown Speaker [45:34]
my gosh, I can’t believe you know that.
Unknown Speaker [45:36]
Yeah, well, he’s face.
Dino Watt [45:39]
Well, you know, when you talk about the dots of my life and how they joined to this, I actually My degree is in makeup artistry. When I was when I was growing up my whole goal in life was to become an actor. Like that was I was an actor, I was a dancer, I was a performer. And everybody who knew me and everybody who knew somebody who knew me knew that Dino Watt was going to leave his little town in California is going to go to Hollywood and he was gonna be an actor. And when I got to that place of starting that part of my life, I also was told by my parents, I need to go to school you need to go to college, and I was dreading it I did not want to go to I was signed up for the Los Angeles Community College and I didn’t want to go and I saw an ad about doing hair for the stars. And I was like, I don’t want to do hair but I always enjoyed theatre makeup. I always enjoyed the gore staff and the blood and all that fun stuff. And so I went and I found the only college in the world that actually accredited gives you a degree in makeup artistry for movies. Part of that learning was I had to learn how to wax eyebrows. And so now even to this day, I wax some of my daughter’s friends eyebrows. I wax all my family’s eyebrows. My my wife and daughter So yeah, I know how to wax eyebrows. That
David Ralph [46:53]
is a craft you’ve got isn’t it? That is he so funny. You should niche down and how many you get get the people in who’s got a marriage that’s under stress. And not only do you mend their marriage, they go out with lovely eyebrows, both of them.
Dino Watt [47:10]
That’s right. I’ve taught classes on it two groups of women at times and yeah, I have people coming out. That’s so funny that you know, it’s, it’s about people, when they find that out, they will come up and ask me stuff. But yeah,
David Ralph [47:21]
I talked about and the other thing that fascinated me as well. And it’s really, really sweet verse And I thought, this is lovely. But you actually met your wife Shannon, at five. You were five years old when you met Shannon. Did you remember the first time that you saw her?
Dino Watt [47:39]
Oh, yeah, it was. Her mom was babysitting us. And I went over. We were both of our families were building houses in my neighbourhood. And there was they were living. We were living in a trailer behind our houses. We’re building it. And they were living in this little apartment, and they were members of our church. And my mom needed a babysitter and I went over and I met Shannon, her sisters actually, even though I’m older than her sister, I’m closer to Shannon’s age, her younger sister is in my grade because I was held back a year because my birthday so I met her. I was on their driveway. And we were riding around in little like tricycles. And that’s the first time we met. And we literally grew up for about 10 years anyway, and households behind each other.
David Ralph [48:22]
And so without into personal when was the moment that you fall, God that there’s something here, there’s something here, this little five year old that I was used to start with, I actually feel like I’m going to cycle down the aisle with a
Dino Watt [48:37]
OI. I first wanted to date her. We my parents divorced when I was about eight years old. So I moved away from that town when I was around 12 just to the neighbouring town and I had just not seen her in years until I was 16 years old, ran into her and her mom at a restaurant. My mom and stepfather had just adopted a baby. And so I invited them over to come and see the baby. And as they were there, I realised Hey, I’m 16 which and my family we weren’t allowed to date until we were 16 years old. She’s 16 Hey, maybe I could take her out on a date. So that was the first time where I was like, hey, she’s kind of cute. Maybe I’ll take her on a date. When I knew I was going to marry her though I was actually in Japan, I was serving a mission for my church. And totally random crazy storey we were just kind of pen pals. We weren’t we dated off and on through high school. So it wasn’t like a arranged marriage type thing. And we we dated more often on. And we were just really good friends we had written back and forth while I was on my mission and Japan and she was living in Italy at the time. And there’s this moment where I was walking outside of my home and I went Oh, kind of like that aha of life. And I went, I’m gonna marry her. Okay, like, I just knew it. And then there’s crazy storeys in between that that time and the actual aisle. But yeah, that’s when I know.
David Ralph [49:56]
It’s amazing as you connect your dots isn’t there, when you look back on these things, and gonna play the words of Steve Jobs at the moment. I normally play more motivational speeches, but you’ve been so motivational anyway, I didn’t know that we really needed it. But I got engaged in Amarillo in Texas. And I was on a boys driving trip. And I’ve been with my wife for, I don’t know, 100 million years or whatever. And we we’ve had our son, and one of my friends was getting married. He said, Come on, let’s do a boys holiday. Let’s do a boys holiday. And when I can’t my you know, I’ve got the family, you know, those days are gone. And he was i’ll come on, it’s only two weeks, you know, two weeks for the rest of your life. And I was like I can’t I really can’t you know that I’ve got the partner. I’ve got the kids. I’ve got everything I just can’t. And then Deb, who’s my wife now when? Well, it’s only two weeks. Why? Why don’t you and as soon as she said that for a while actually fancy This is a be brilliant. And so we went and the first five days or probably the first four days was amazing laughter it was just like being away drinking and having fun, you know, going back in years, and I got to Amarillo and I just realised I missed the more than I could comprehend. And I miss my kids and I missed her. And I just knew that I’d made a mistake and I shouldn’t have been on this holiday. And so I phoned him up and I said, I miss you, I miss you. And she said, Well, let’s get married then. And I went, yeah, yeah, yeah, we could do and she said, Will you marry me? So she actually asked me, and I went, yes. And the room span and the floor became the ceiling and the ceiling became the floor. And I thought my saving grace actually Peter was I thought to myself, right, okay, I’ve said yes, now we’re getting married. But these things take about three or four years that that’s you know, it takes a long time to plan a married, and it was the 27th of November. And on January the 27th. Two months later, I was standing at the aisle doing it. And as soon as she got the green lights you went, held the lever and rushed around with my mom screaming. He said yes. He’s he said yes. Finally he said, Yes, let’s do it. Let’s do it. And I look back on that now. And I think why was I waiting so long? Because marriage really is for me personally. And there’s so many people out there that’s had bad experiences. But for me, it’s the greatest thing. And it’s the thing that makes you want to come home every day. And just as you say, even when life is bad to come home and close the door and be with your family. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Dino Watt [52:26]
Yeah, it’s the sanctuary. It really is. And, and I was just interviewed on 100 if you know the show Entrepreneur on Fire,
David Ralph [52:33]
oh, he was on that you’re playing with a big boys.
Dino Watt [52:36]
Yeah, I just got interviewed yesterday actually on it, and they asked for your favourite success quote. And my favourite success quote is, there’s no success outside the home that can compensate for failure in it. And I really believe that, that as you said, you know, your home is that sanctuary. It’s when all the other stuff is going on. When everything crazy is happening in the world. Your home should be that place of sanctuary, not just for you, but hopefully you’re creating that for your kids too. So yeah, I totally agree with that. I can just see your wife now running around and he said yes.
David Ralph [53:08]
Yay. Yeah, she’s got little legs. That was a lot of effort. That was a lot of effort. Running that distance.
Unknown Speaker [53:15]
So so short lead wife to
David Ralph [53:17]
so how tall is your wife?
Unknown Speaker [53:20]
I think she’s five foot.
Dino Watt [53:23]
Maybe 4434 foot
David Ralph [53:26]
10 my wife. Wow. I know. He’s like a Munchkin. When I when I come you’re like six foot 11? That’s crazy. Yeah, I’m six foot one. So when I was close, yeah, your clothes when I come home, I feel like gala in my house, or Tony liberal people around my feet.
Unknown Speaker [53:44]
Unknown Speaker [53:46]
gonna go there.
David Ralph [53:47]
No, no, don’t go there just in case she listens. But let’s listen to these. Because these are the words of the show. This is the theme of the show. And this is the great Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [53:58]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, you have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [54:33]
So you a man a man knows your heart to do those words mean something to you and your life.
Dino Watt [54:40]
Yeah, as they were as listening to it, I gotta tell you, it was really me bring me back to a few moments, but I’ll even I’ll connect the dots even to when I was knocking doors. And, and when in that very, really hard time in my life, where I was knocking doors to feed my family to you know, sell these alarm system so that I can, you know, save my home and stuff. But in that, in that time, I kept telling myself, there will be a time in my life where I look back on this. And I’ll be able to tell the storey to inspire other people. And as I walked doors, and when I got people who rejected me and you know, slammed the door in my face, and people were angry at me for being on their doorstep, or whatever it was. I the only way I kept my spirits up is because I said this will someday be a lesson that I will be able to help share. And I mean it was I do marriage stuff. So I don’t know how the cells was going to go into it. But it became the struggle of it right. And so because of that, and we look at the dots even more is after that happened. And I had done that for I did that for two years. And the second year was what I was working on the business of marriage even more, and I was trying to build it up. In 2013. My family decided to go on a year long road trip across the country, the US and we left our home, we rented it out, sold pretty much everything got a trailer and literally travelled the country for 13 months. And when I got home, and during that time, I was like there’s going to be I’m going to be able to tell storeys about this about the struggle about Yes, it’s a great, crazy, fun adventure that a lot of people would love to do. But they don’t know the struggle that’s going on in the middle of having to have a business the same time and trying to cultivate clients and not having any money while we’re on the road or whatever. I knew that there would be lessons there too. And then, the moment I got home, I rebelled in our house on December 30 2013. So almost exactly a year ago. And I turned to my wife and I said, now that we did this, I can do anything, there’s nothing I can do. And there was like a physical change that happened in my body and in my mind. And because of that now I can look back in here, I can’t believe it’s already been almost a year we’ve been home that I I see those dots, I see exactly what led me up to the opportunity to this last year has been the best financially in our in my business and it’s ever been, by far dwarfing it, what we’re going to be doing for 2015, even more so. But I live my life now. And I didn’t even know that was a quote until your show, honestly, you know, be totally transparent parent when I first started talking about the show, and how do you want it as a guest, I went and I listened to that quote, because you had talked about and I saw in your bio. And I hit me in a really profound way. Because I mean, that’s just the last five years of my life, I can go back way even further, especially meeting my wife at five and not to join those dots. And it is profound when you can really sit and look at those dots and what they mean even the terrible bad times, even the wonderful, great times, even the times you think have nothing to do with anything, you know, you’re just sitting around all of those dots means something and they make a huge difference in your life. When you look at it that way.
David Ralph [58:05]
The thing that I remember somebody saying in one of the episodes was that even at your worst time, if you can think to yourself, what can I take from this to the next level, then really no experience is wasted. So if you’re in a job and you think obviously to add for a hate Miss job, and most of us have been in jobs where we have that feeling, think to yourself, okay, what two things or what even one thing can I learn from this, that I can take with me to the next part. And that really does give you the fight doesn’t mean that something is going to be better, because you’re already consciously deciding, but you’re going to be transitioning to a better place.
Dino Watt [58:46]
Now you’re already making that that decision that it’s going to be better not like man, how do I not even a whining? So how do I get out but it is going to be there I will use this for my experience or the experience of others?
David Ralph [58:59]
So would be sort of the human knocking on doors? Would that be your big dot? Would it be meeting Shannon? Where would your big.in life when you look back and go Yeah, that’s when Dino Watt. What the What dot? What what what would be the what dot?
Dino Watt [59:14]
Gosh, so many, you know, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing right now.
If I didn’t have two moments that I think are really huge dots. The number number one being, as I mentioned before, I wanted to grow up being an actor, but I realised after having a family that you know, living the Hollywood life and and and the struggle of an actor wasn’t really conducive to having a family. So I gave up on it. I had made a conscious decision. No, I’m not going to be an actor. It’s to refer a family and I want to be in this lifestyle with a fat because being a dad was really that important to me. And I was cut to a few years later I was at an event where I saw a guy on stage, it was at a real estate event. And he was talking about like taxes or something like Tax Help something that their company did. But he was it was at a seminar, you know, when I saw this guy on stage, and he was it just hit me that he was talking to an audience who was going to pay him. And he was on stage. And I went, Oh my gosh, he’s acting, I can do that I can be on stage, I don’t have to be an actor to still perform and change people’s lives in the way that I want to. And that started the the aha, that I could be a public speaker that I could do trainings and change people’s lives. So that was a huge dot. And then the second dot was with the business of marriage, when I had thought about doing it after a client had asked me if I had any type of programme to help with their marriage, because I was helping them in their business and all sort of stuff. I went to an event where they had you do an exercise where well first of all, at the event, I lied to everybody and told them that I talked about acting as if that I did this marriage thing, which I never number four, but I nobody knew me. So I was like, Yeah, I do this thing about marriage and putting business together and all this other stuff. And people would come over and to start asking me questions. But in this event they made you do an exercise and exercise was the lifeboat exercise I know a lot of people have done before, but you had six people in a lifeboat. And you had to make your case for why because lifeboat was going to think about six of you were there, only two people could be saved, you had to make your case of why you should live and everybody else should die. And you sacrifice their lives for you. And so I stood up and I talked about this vision I had for the business of marriage and how it’s going to reverse the direction of divorce in the world and just really spoke to my heart and passionate. And out of the 200 300 people that were in this room, I was the only person that got all five of the other votes to sit for me to stay in the boat and that they would die. And that was huge. That was like, bone shaking type moment of like, okay, I can’t deny this. And that one of the dots has really shaped the lab was in 2005 2006 that really is shaped the last decade of my life. It’s powerful,
David Ralph [1:02:03]
isn’t it when these these simple things, these things that you almost don’t think about at the time have so much resonance to your life?
Unknown Speaker [1:02:11]
David Ralph [1:02:12]
Absolutely. Well, let’s send you back in time Dino, I don’t want this conversation to end it’s going off in a different direction is a totally different show to what I was experiencing. And I’m delighted about and this is the part of the show that we called a sermon on the mic. And this is when I send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time to speak to the young Dino, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out, because I’m going to play the theme tune and when it Phaedra This is the Sermon on the mic.
Dino Watt [1:03:06]
I’m eight years old, my parents have just decided to get a divorce a week earlier. My mom told us this as he took us out to 50s ice cream to get our double scoop of ice cream. And as we’re sitting the car eating it, she informed us that mom and dad were going to get divorce. I didn’t quite grasp what it was I’d heard of divorce before I knew mom and dad wouldn’t live together anymore. And to this day, still not a big fan of ice cream. But I’m a week later, I’m standing on my sidewalk. And I’m watching as my father drives away. And I really do think that this is the end of all things. I think that I’m unsure of course, because I have no idea. I’ve never been to this experience before I had no friends whose parents were divorced. And what I would do is I would if I could sit with that eight year old right now is I would first of all, let him know that what he was thinking was correct. Because at that time he was thinking, I can help them, I can help them in their relationship. But I’m also going to let him know that even though he’s correct, that because of this moment in his life, it will make him a better husband, it’ll make him a better father, it’ll make it better make him make him a better person to those that around him. And I would tell him that he doesn’t have to turn out like his dad, that he gets to make new choices and new decisions, and that his unique self is a gift from God. And I would tell him that he’s going to have some big dreams. And when they don’t come true, it doesn’t mean that they weren’t valid, and that there aren’t lessons to be learned from those dreams that don’t come true. And that he’s going to have it opportunities in his life that not only does he not see right now, but that are going to affect other people’s lives and hugely profound ways. And I would definitely tell him to take another look at that nice Burnett that lives behind him and his house because she’s going to be a part of your life for the rest of your life for a very you know, with your children, and it’s going to be the best decision you’ve ever made as to just look at that girl one more time.
David Ralph [1:05:33]
How can our audience connect with you Dino?
Dino Watt [1:05:36]
Dino, why calm is my website or the busy marriage com Let’s go to the same place and easiest one is Dino white calm because easy to remember my name. There’s no s on what? And Facebook. I’m there. And you’ll see a really cool video of the Africa trip I just took on Facebook right now and the fun stuff we did there. Yeah, definitely. Those two places are probably the easiest and best ways to do so.
David Ralph [1:06:00]
If you’re interested in a waxing or having a leg shave,
Dino Watt [1:06:05]
that’s going to cost you a lot of money. I’m sorry. That’s friends and family discount maybe but
David Ralph [1:06:09]
might yeah mates right. So that’s that’s what you’re aiming for on there. They know thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. They know what Thank you so much.
Dino Watt [1:06:27]
Thank you. It’s a pleasure.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.