Tara Truax Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Tara Truax
Tara Truax is today’s guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
She is a lady who from her home in Ellensburg, Washington, is driving the wannabe entrepreneurs and the ones who have already taken the leap to greatness.
She will help us find our paths, focus in on our perfect avatars, and create businesses that are perfect for ourselves.
She knows what to do and can share the gold, to ease the way for others.
But don’t think for a moment that this show is about a lady who was born to do the right things at the right time.
This is a lady who has hustled her way to success, by taking on many roles, seemingly unrelated to do the thing she loves.
She has been a proper cowgirl working on a ranch, been a seller of sex toys (don’t put those on your Xmas lists Kids), started her own cleaning company, even though she hates cleaning, and taught Irish Dancing to children.
How The Dots Joined Up For Tara
The whole vibe is perfect for a show like Join Up Dots, where you look at the list and the only thing you can think from the outsiders view is “Well I guess no experience is wasted”
As she says on her business site “I don’t believe in jumping out of an airplane that works and any water meant for swimming or soaking should be at least 90 degrees.
Past that I’m open to trying pretty much anything. This has filled my life with some pretty amazing experiences and I’ve met some incredible people.
I feel blessed everyday for everything I have and even for the bumps in the road – I believe those have big lessons for us.”
Well I also believe in not jumping out of an airplane, so we have got something in common already.
But how does this business lady find something in all these seemingly unconnected roles that have lit the fuel for greatness.
And if she could go back to one of these roles, leaving the position where she is today, would she?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start Joining Up Dots with the one and only Tara Truax
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Tara Traux such as:
Why you have to rock a few boats and upset a few people if you are going to head towards the dreams that you want. Please everybody and you get nowhere.
Why she now thinks its a riskier move to go out and get a 9 to 5 job than trying to build your own business.
Why the myth of an overnight success is something that we should try to smash to pieces, unless that one night took ten to fifteen years to pass us by
How the core to building a successful business is building relationships, which many failed business seem to not grasp .
Why it is so important to laugh everyday and to make sure that we enjoy the simple things in life.
How To Connect With Tara Truax
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Tara Traux Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello there. Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah. Oh, no, he’s already come and gone. I do apologise. It’s Christmas Day, everybody. Happy Christmas to you, wherever you’re listening across the globe. Thank you so much for being here on Join Up Dots. On such a special day. Hopefully, you’re having a lovely time with your family. Hopefully, you’ve got more than a pair of socks and some hankies I’ve got, and you’re rocking and rolling. So thank you so much for being with us on the show today. And of course, thank you to a lady who from our home in America is driving the one entrepreneurs and the ones who have already taken the leap to greatness. She will help us find our paths focusing on our perfect avatars and create businesses that are perfect for ourselves. She knows what to do and can share the gold to ease the way for others. But don’t think for a moment that this show is about a lady who was born to do the right things at the right time. This is a lady who has hustled her way to success by taking on many roles seemingly unrelated to do the things she loves. She’s been a proper cowgirl working on a ranch, been a seller of sex toys. Yeah, don’t put those on your Christmas list kids started her own cleaning company. Even though she hates cleaning and has taught Irish dancing to children. The whole vibe is perfect for a show like Join Up Dots where you look at the list. And the only thing you can think from the outsiders view is, well I guess no experience is wasted. As she says on a business side. I don’t believe in jumping out of an aeroplane that works and any water Memphis swimming or soaking should be at least 90 degrees passed back. I’m Oprah to try. And pretty much anything this has been my life is some pretty amazing experiences. And I’ve met some incredible people. I feel blessed every day for everything I have. And even for the bumps in the road. I believe bows have big lessons for us. She calls them bumps, we call them dots. Well, I also believe in not jumping out of an aeroplane. So we’ve got some in common already. But how does this business lady find something in all these seemingly unconnected roles that have lit the fuel for greatness? And if she could go back to one of these roles, leaving the position where she is today? Would she well let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start Join Up Dots. But one and only Tara Truax. How are you?
Tara Traux [2:41]
I’m great, David. Thanks for having me on.
David Ralph [2:44]
It’s lovely. And thank you for being here on such a special day. Obviously, you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment. Christmas kids running around? Is that the kind of image that I’m thinking about the moment is that right?
Tara Traux [2:56]
That is right. We’ve got five kids here today from 11 to 19 years old. And it’s crazy and I just absolutely love it.
David Ralph [3:07]
Well, you somebody that when you as a small child wanted to kind of big family because I’ve ended up with a big family. I’ve got five kids, and a grandson and sort of all the trimmings that come but I didn’t kind of wanted it just occurred. Are you somebody that wanted it when you was a little girl did you want the big house that’s full on Christmas Day.
Tara Traux [3:26]
I did I wanted I did want a lot of noise and a lot of kids that just had my sister and I growing up and seeing the movies where there were lots of kids around the tree and lots of noise and you know like in It’s a Wonderful Life and just kind of that atmosphere I always wanted that. And so my favourite in the morning on Christmas morning is seeing the living room with with paper tossed everywhere and everybody just smiling and laughing and just the noise. It’s it’s my favourite thing. The noise Well, the kids are just doesn’t bother me at all. It just, it feels the house with just a lot of joy and love. And so, to me, that’s great.
David Ralph [4:08]
So for you it is the most magical time of the year as I say
Tara Traux [4:13]
it is it is going from from Thanksgiving here in the States up to Christmas I am I just love it. I just love it. And we’re starting to get snow on the ground here too. So it just it adds it to the picture perfect kind of scenery as well.
David Ralph [4:29]
That’s where we should be we should be all over with you enjoying it with the heating on and watching the snow coming down. That’s gonna be perfect. So where was life as a small girl? Were you born in America because your accent doesn’t sound total American?
Tara Traux [4:43]
No, actually, I was born in Ireland. I was born in Monaghan. And so I have when I’m angry, I have a bit of an Irish accent. And I grew up in California in a very Irish community. And so I have a few words that have Irish accent in it. But for the most part, it’s it’s just an American upbringing. And then like I said, when I get angry, or there’s a few words where you’ll hear an Irish hinted and in my language, but now I’m in Washington State and have spent most of my life here in the States. But growing up, we were blessed enough mom took us back to Ireland every three or four years. So I know my family there very well. And stay in touch with them on Facebook, quite often, and then get back there still even now.
David Ralph [5:36]
So So do you feel more American? When Irish always is the Irish? The key? The fiery spirit of the Irish?
Tara Traux [5:44]
Oh, no. Definitely the fiery spirit of the Irish definitely.
David Ralph [5:49]
And you’re surrounded because in America, there’s a big Irish fraternity almost on every corner isn’t there?
Tara Traux [5:56]
There is there absolutely is the culture is still very special here. And even you know, around St. Patrick’s Day, you have the Americans who don’t have any bit of Irish in them who want the Irish in them. And my husband claims he married me just so that he could become an Irish citizen. Because, you know, everybody wants to be Irish. And who can blame them?
David Ralph [6:20]
Who can blame them that they’re generally happy individuals? Aren’t they just, you know, that stereotype of an Irishman, and pretty much every Irishman that I have met, feels that stereotype perfectly. And I can’t say that about many countries, we have stereotypes you know, of everyone really, don’t we? And the Irish seem to? I don’t know, it seems to be closely linked to what we expect of them.
Tara Traux [6:44]
Yes, yes, exactly.
David Ralph [6:46]
So so you will live going back over this sort of introduction, you’ve had a fascinating journey. But what I want to do is sort of talk about where you are now, because you are doing something that from the outside is you seems to be a connexion of unrelated dots. But that has brought you to something that you seem to love. Do you love what you’re doing at the moment?
Tara Traux [7:09]
I do? I do. I get to help other people reach their dreams and build their businesses to fit into their lives, which I think is key, because so many people try to fit their lives around what they do for work, or doing their business. And then they find at the end of the day, that they’re not really very happy. And they are they’re chasing the dollar. And it is I don’t think that that’s a really good way to live. Because there’s never enough and they’re not. They’re getting lost in you know, how do they pay their bills? And how do they pay to send the kids to school? And how do they pay for, you know, the next thing as opposed to building a life that they love, and their job and the income of their making is just a tool to help them live a life that they love. And because of all the different experiences I’ve had, it’s, it’s given me a perspective of being flexible that whatever’s thrown at me. And now I get to set my schedule, I get to take off in the middle of the day when I need to go do something with my kids at their school. And I really, really lucky that I’m able to, to set and really develop my my life around my work, but then help other people do that, too. And so
David Ralph [8:40]
that’s not lucky. Is it? You you’ve worked for that, you know, everyone who’s in a corporate gig that I have to wrote in at the time that said, they have to leave, but that’s timeless that said, that’s a decision as well. You’ve just made a conscious decision to go against that and create a life that fits you.
Tara Traux [9:00]
Yes, yes. And you’re right. And it’s, you’re right, it isn’t lucky, I’ve created it. And I’ve taken a lot of risks to make it happen. And I’ve made a lot of people unhappy, because of the choices I’ve made, because it kind of goes against the norm of what I think we’re brought up to believe you have to do is go get a job. And, and jobs are great for a lot of people who want that type of security and and sense of routine. You know, my sister, she likes the nine to five schedule, and she likes not having to worry at 10 o’clock at night. You know, what does she need to do tomorrow, where when you work for yourself, you’re thinking at 10 o’clock at night? What do I need to do tomorrow? What do I need to do next week, you know, you’re working on weekends sometimes. So there’s there’s that trade off.
David Ralph [9:53]
There is a trade off, isn’t it but i i’m very entrepreneur, New York now. And if you’ve listened to an after the show’s you will know my storey that I wasn’t for many, many years, I was a corporate guy. And I like the fact that I got my salary at the end of the month. And I like the fact that I knew me hours. And I could go in there, and I could come home. But now I like the fact that work can be Sunday evening, it can be Monday morning, it can be on Christmas Day, it can be whatever you want, because it’s right for you. And I think when push comes to shove, even somebody like your sister would go, Well, actually, I would quite like to have the steady income coming in. But I’d also like to be able to choose my time because that is the utopia, isn’t it?
Tara Traux [10:40]
Yes, I think it is. I think it is. And when you have enough of the income coming in? Well, and actually, when you have enough of an income coming in as an entrepreneur, then the steadiness isn’t, it doesn’t become such a worry, because you have enough of it coming in. And then when you get your marketing consistent, then you can create it steady, and then you’re not so worried about, you know, that nine to five paycheck coming in. So the question that
David Ralph [11:14]
sort of jumped out at me was you’re doing something that you love, and everyone should applaud you for doing that. You’re helping other people find their dream life and move forward. In that, that kind of period. But you know what you want, or perhaps you don’t even know what you want. But there’s a gap between knowing what you want and getting paid for it. And that’s where you come into it and you help them transition prove that to grasp control of their life. So when you when you upset people by making certain decisions, where they people close to you when a friends who could possibly get upset, but you are going for what you want in life?
Tara Traux [11:56]
Well, you know, well, there’s, oftentimes times there’s a group of friends, that gets upset because because as people grow, you know, they say that you’re the average of the five people that you hang around with. And as as you start to grow, and make choices that aren’t consistent with what the choices that the other people in your group are making, you know, it tends to rock the boat in it, and then they don’t understand why, you know, in my case, I lost friendships, because I’m suddenly not making choices that make sense to them, which can make them question choices that they’re making. And that they might interpret as, maybe I’m saying they’re making the wrong choices, because they’re staying in a certain position when I’m going off and, you know, quitting a nine to five job, and I’m going off, and I’m doing other things and so there’s becomes this disconnect. And it’s, it makes things really uneasy. And, and so that that upsets a lot of friendships, and it’s a result of growth. And so a lot of times it has to be have to be willing to, to let go of those relationships, and then it leaves space open for new friendships and new relationships come in. Because then you’re, you’re, you’re at a different level with other people who are thinking the same as you as far as you know, being entrepreneurial, or being more Welcome to more learning experiences, or, or whatever it is that you’re doing. It’s just it just kind of as you grow in life and your relationships change. For a while, even with my husband, when, when I made my last attempt at a nine to five job, which to him felt a lot more secure than me saying, No, I’m just going to do this myself, that that was a big deal. Because Because I was walking away from what you know, look like a steady, good paying job. And and instead, I was going to just work for myself. And when you start any job, or any prospect on your own, there’s a period of time where there’s not very much income. And and that was very upsetting for him. But bless his heart, he stuck with me and stood by me and gave me the space to to pursue what he knew I needed to do for me. As far as pursuing my own business rather than doing the the nine to five job in that industry that I was, that was going to be my last attempt at a at a nine to five corporate job. And so, so there were definitely instances where me where my choosing to break away from that corporate nine to five and go out on my own. And just trust that I can make it work.
David Ralph [15:05]
Yeah, good on you. Good, good on you. And I’m going to ask you the question, because I I know exactly what you’re saying. And I think there’s so many people out there listening to this show thinking to myself, I know this, I’m having these comments with people around me going, this is what I want to do, I’d like to do that. And the people are sort of holding me back or they’re, they’re just not not supporting me in my dreams. Now I got rid of a lot of friends. And I look back on and I don’t give a monkey’s I didn’t miss any of them. I thought they were important at the time. But I actually look back on them now. And if you’re listening friends out there, and you know who I’m talking about, I’ll be honest, I look back and Miss trends that were convenient. They kind of found my way into my life. I got rid of them all. And now the ones that have failed, that that boy come into their space, are my mike Walters, my supporters, the ones that count down, David, keep doing it, keep doing it, keep moving forward. And you do you can clear the decks quite easily. And when you look back, you think, don’t really care. Do you feel the same? When you look at those people that you lost? Does any of them you kind of go Oh, I really wish they were still in my life?
Tara Traux [16:19]
No, not really, because the people that I do wish were still in my life, I do still stay in touch with on some level, but they’re not people that I that I keep really on my inner circle that influenced me on the same level, they might be people that I might, you know, share Christmas cards with, or, you know, touch base with every once in a while on Facebook. So we still have some type of connexion to share pictures of our kids, but there isn’t really that influence. And then the the people who are my friends that do have more of an influence in my life, are the people who do support me and who do encourage me. And I’ve noticed even more recently, just in the last six months, that group has shifted from, from people who constantly want from me where I always feel like I have to give, give, give, give and do everything for you know, saying yes to everything to make their lives easier, you know, as far as different committees and signing up to lead this and lead that through different groups. And now I have surrounded myself with friends and support that when I say oh, I’m going to do this, they say no, you’re not, you know, you, you don’t have the time for that you need to just focus on this.
David Ralph [17:52]
That’s perfect. Yeah, that’s what you need, did you your clients, obviously, that they’re coming to you help, but they must be surrounded with the kind of guys we’re talking about that the friends, the work colleagues that are trying to suppress them. And what they do, really is they don’t want you to move up the ladder, because they haven’t got that, that themselves or they don’t want to feel bad about themselves. And it’s, it’s not wrong for them to feel that way. It’s just how they are. But you do have to you have to separate yourself, what advice do you give to your clients who are coming to you and going, this is what I want to do, I’ve got this dream, but they are surrounded with that that peer group that we’re talking about.
Tara Traux [18:37]
What I tell them is that they need to if they can, if there’s people that are really holding them back, they need to well, they need to get rid of them. And if their family that they they can’t, you know, maybe it’s a sibling or a parent, that they need to understand that that piece give advice, you know, our friends and our family who tell us Oh, you can’t do that. Because right, they’re trying to give us advice based on their own decisions, right, we give advice that justifies the own our own decisions we’ve made in our life, and that they’re trying to help, but they can only come from their own perspective. And so since it doesn’t make sense being entrepreneurial, if that’s not what their experiences, then they just don’t know how and so I try to help them see that these people aren’t trying to be hurtful, but that they need to make their space and if they can keep get these people out of their lives, then they need to if they’re if they truly want to grow. And if they can’t get the people out of their lives because of the family relationship, then they need to set clear boundaries. And just explain, you know, maybe it’s maybe it’s mom and just say, Mom, I understand that you’re trying to help me and that you love me. But in in this area of my life, I need you to stop, you know, stop trying to help. And
David Ralph [20:16]
I want you know, jumping in there, but parents are like that they love you or they should love you. Some parents probably don’t. And which is a shame. But most parents want you to be safe. And unfortunately, they come from an older generation where the safe route is what we were saying earlier, getting into a career, like your sister likes for them, but is a job for life. You get a job, you get a career, you get a trade. But an entrepreneurial seems like the whiskey route, do you think it’s risky? Now, do you think that is actually the route that we should be pushing for people?
Unknown Speaker [20:53]
I think that
Tara Traux [20:56]
it’s riskier to have a nine to five job because you can show up at work today, tomorrow, and there could be a pink slip at your door. And I know that in in entrepreneurial job, there’s there is a lot of risks. But you also have a lot of control over what you what you’re doing and what your income is. And, and the actual actions of owning your own business. And running your own business is not complicated. It gets cluttered and confusing for people because there’s so much information being being put in front of people on do this and do that this is going to make you a million dollars. And this is going to add, you know, this is the answer to all your business problems. And, and it’s crazy all the stuff that’s out there. But the basics are the same as they have always been. And if if you do the steps to business and do them consistently, you can succeed. And I think a lot of reasons that people don’t is because it’s it’s a lot of hard work, and they get tired, and they get confused, and they get frustrated. And they give up too early,
David Ralph [22:13]
too. Did you see that with your clients though, because of what we talked about on a daily basis. But so many people feel that it’s going to happen quickly. It’s the get rich quick, but there’s no such thing is there, you know, dreams take time to to come to fruition. I was talking to a lady. She went live a couple of days ago called Sophie Radcliffe. But she was about a month ago and actually listened to the show just before we started recording today. And she was saying the difficult part to life is not finding what you want to do. It’s getting paid for it. So you can go, right i mean a job. I don’t like this, I want to be doing this. But how do you transition? Well, you’ve got to learn skills you’ve got to develop. So if you’ve got to read, you’ve got to do all the kind of preparation so that when you get to that point, you can do it. It’s very easy to go. Right, I’m just going to move across. But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, does it?
Tara Traux [23:13]
No, it doesn’t, you’ll find if you look at you know, most overnight successes, they took, you know, 10 to 15 years to get there. But all we see is is the overnight success part, you know, the last six months or a year of their success when there was all of this work, and struggle, and and, and hardship and sacrifice, you know, where they were just eating, you know, rice and macaroni and cheese and barely getting the bills paid for years before they finally you know, made it big, because they were busy focusing on their skills and learning what they needed to learn and focusing on the basics. Because you need the foundation to everything. It’s just like building a house, you need a good solid foundation, before you get on to the rest of this stuff.
David Ralph [24:08]
Well, when you started doing your business now and you’re laying in bed with your husband, I assume you were laying in bed with your husband. And the idea popped into your head, I’m going to do this. Was it something that was like it was like an epiphany? Or was it something that just been sort of nagging away at you, but this was the next day of your life? This was the next the joining of the dots leading up to that point, how did the idea to actually go into business come together for you?
Tara Traux [24:38]
Well, you know, it, it really started where I kind of fell into it going into business for myself. Well, I’d started that my very first business almost 20 years ago. And that didn’t work out very well, because it none of us really knew what we were doing. Then I didn’t do anything for a long time because I had kids and focused on my kids. And that was great. And then I’d had gotten divorced and did not want to go get in a nine to five job I liked being at home with my kids. And I liked having my schedule with my kids and field trips and all that. And then that’s when I started selling the sex toys because I could do home parties on my schedule and make good money. And that taught me a lot of great skills as far as sales and inventory, and talking in public in front of people and about an interesting subject. And then I needed to make more money. And so I started the cleaning business. And that taught me more because I hated cleaning. So I hired employees, and that taught me a whole new set of skills. And during that process that all was happening was we had our recession here in 2008. And so the recession was happening. But my businesses were taking off. They just really were just, we’re going great. What was
David Ralph [26:13]
in a recession? Tyler, why were they going so well, when everything else was going the opposite way?
Tara Traux [26:19]
Well, I was really focusing on the basics, I was focusing on the marketing, I was focusing on customer service, I was focusing on building relationships with my clients, which is what I teach my my clients now my my business clients, that is the core, you have got to have a relationship with your clients and your prospects. And my coaching business came out of that, because people saw what was happening with my businesses and how they were growing during a recession. And then they, you know, started asking me questions, how do you how are you doing this? How are you doing that. And I saw, I really loved working with the businesses, I really loved helping them grow their businesses, and eventually stopped the home party business. And then I sold the cleaning business actually last week. And that enables me now to just focus completely on on the coaching business and working with business owners. And so it just kind of morphed, you know, just one lead into the other. And that was just being open to opportunities. And, and being flexible with what comes and what my business is going to look like two years from now I have no idea. I just know it’s going to be great.
David Ralph [27:44]
You love it, don’t you I can hear it.
Tara Traux [27:46]
I do love it. Because it’s fun. It’s uh, it’s just exciting, you know, it’s this great journey. And I have a lot of faith that whatever it’s going to look like is the way it’s supposed to. And I’m going to learn a lot of really neat things and new things and meet new people along the way. And that, to me, it comes back to those relationships. And the more people that I can, I can touch and help and make a difference. And especially now that my kids are getting older, so they don’t, you know, they don’t need me around the same way. They’re almost all grown and out on their own. So that’s going to give me freedom to do more travelling around the world. And I think I think there’s gonna be a lot of really fun stuff happening. So I’m looking forward to that
David Ralph [28:41]
you should do I’m going to play some words now from a man who said something that really emphasises how you found your thing. This is Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [28:50]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. When I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [29:16]
What you think about those words?
Tara Traux [29:20]
Well, that’s just brilliant. I hadn’t heard that from him before. But that’s just right on. It’s perfect.
David Ralph [29:29]
It’s powerful stuff, isn’t it? Even if you only listen to the last four words, you might as well take a chance and doing what you love? Do you think that is the message that we should get out to the world? And would you try to get that message out to your own children?
Tara Traux [29:44]
You know, I do and I try to every day because life is so incredibly short. And you never know, you never know what’s going to happen, you know, at the end of the day, and and it happens to be you know, I think it has to be fun, I think you have to laugh every day. And you have to make the most out of every day. Because you know, I have a child, I have another child that that has passed on. And the lesson that he teaches me every day is that we don’t know how short Our lives are going to be. And so it has to be fun. And, and if we’re smiling, and we’re laughing, and we’re out there trying to do the best we can. And we remember that we’re responsible for our happiness. And, and then if we really, if we, if we know what we want to do when we figure out what we want to do, and we decide to go after it. And we learn what we need to to make it happen, then we can do it. It’s really that simple. We don’t have to have all these obstacles, if we’re willing to do the work. And I think that’s the key is we have to be willing to do the we’re just wanting it isn’t enough. But I think it life, you know, I believe in having fun every day and every day I laugh. It just it’s it has to be an important part of my day.
David Ralph [31:11]
You to laugh, belly laugh, because I read this thing the other day. And somebody mentioned it to me on one of the shows recently about is something like if you look at a playground of five year olds, they laugh something like 300 times a day. And if you look at adults in their 40s they laugh maybe twice or or something ridiculous like that. So are you somebody that really laughs or do you just snigger?
Tara Traux [31:37]
Oh, no, I laugh and I grabbed my belly and my mouth is wide open, I probably look really silly when I laughed, but I don’t I don’t care, I used to try to contain it. Because I didn’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable. And I I very actually very recently went on a retreat with my business coach. And mentioned there that really my inner soul, I would be skipping down the street every day, if I wasn’t so worried about how weird it would make other people feel. And I came away from that retreat thinking, I’m gonna skip down the street when I feel like skipping down the street first, because why not? Right? If I feel like skipping, I should skip. But also, it might put some smiles on other people’s faces. So and that’s a good thing too, because life is, you know, there’s bad things that happen in life and the end. And I’ve experienced some bad things that happened in life. And I think that’s even more reason to really embrace the good things that are happening. Because there’s a lot of really wonderful, great things to be happy for. You know, even the fact that I’m here in the States, and you’re there and in the UK, and we’re able to have this conversation. I mean, even That’s incredible. It’s just, there’s a really a lot be thankful for.
David Ralph [33:07]
And I’m skipping out a moment, Tara, this is this. I actually skipped with my daughter, my daughter’s nine if we’re going down the pub to have some bite to eat or something. She always wants to skip. And she used to say Dad, dad skip and I used to but now I’m not going to do that. And now I will skip and even the drive is going past they will smile. And it’s not a smile as in what an idiot. It’s a small almost like that’s nice a father enjoying company with his daughter bear skipping and looking like they’re having fun. It’s a simple things in life, isn’t it really that can shape the way that your life turns out and what dimension it goes into?
Tara Traux [33:49]
Exactly, you’ll often find me dancing in the grocery store. If there’s music on in the grocery store, I’ll be dancing with my cart down the aisle I love to dance to. So every day there’s got to be dancing, even if it’s you know, symbol is in the grocery store, to the music.
David Ralph [34:07]
Well, that takes us back to your teaching Irish dancing to children. So has that given you anything? Is that another step towards business success? I can honestly see how the be doing those parties with the toys, I can see that totally. I can see the cleaning company. But did the Irish dancing did that bring any elements but you now use today?
Tara Traux [34:32]
You know, I think it It brought the competitive ness. You know, I think all entrepreneurs there’s there’s, they’re competitive, and they strive to be the best. And, you know, I grew up in that very Irish community in the Bay Area in California. And so when I was five years old is when I started Irish dancing, and was competing and Irish dancing up until nine years ago, and then started teaching it locally just because I live in a part of the state where I’m not close enough to any place where we can. And so I think it did I think it that really nurtured the competitive part of me. And then also teaching the Irish dancing. When I’m coaching clients. That’s that’s teaching. Right. So, so I think a lot of that did transfer over. But I also think that the teaching the Irish dancing, just is just the joy. You know, that’s also just part of part of giving back and watching the kids. And these kids, some of them are high school kids that want to just learn how to understand. But that competitiveness really I think came from, from that Irish dancing,
David Ralph [35:56]
your mother, I know your mother children, in your own kids. But it seems to me there’s a nurturing side to you. But you like the teaching you like the coaching you like to see people develop but you’re you’re like a mother to your clients, you’re like a mother to anyone you come in contact with? Did you see that? In your own self?
Tara Traux [36:18]
Yes, yes, and sometimes a little too much I have to back off, you know, because you have to let your kids fall a little bit so that they can get back up and scrape off their knees and and learn how to walk on their own right? But absolutely. And that moment, when when they see that they can do it, that it clicks. And you can hear it in their voice and see it on their faces when they realise that they can make it happen, they can make their dream happen. That is one of the best feelings ever. Because Did you
David Ralph [36:54]
see that from your clients or from the children is I’ve got gentlemen coming on next week called Pat Flynn. And he’s, he’s doing very well on the online world and got a big profile. And one of the things that I want to ask him is whether the belief that you’re going to do it comes from being able to do it or just thinking you’re going to do it. So when your clients come along, is it when they actually see a reward either their first dollar that it’s suddenly the penny drops? Or is there a period before then that they suddenly go? Ah, I think I know how to do this, even before they’ve made any inroads to success.
Tara Traux [37:36]
You know, I think
I think it’s when
they see that there’s a plan that they’re there to see that there’s a clear path to make it happen. Because I’ve seen some clients who who do start making money, you know, maybe not a lot of money, but they are making some money but still aren’t convinced that it’s really going to work that it’s something that they can sustain. But then when they have that clear plan that that step by step, this is how it’s going to work, this are the action items that you’re going to take. And then they can see it go from, you know, from the very beginning to to that point where everything connects in their mind that they see that yes, this actually can work, that it’s not just this fantasy, and it’s so it’s separate for a lot of them from bringing the money in that the because a lot of times the money is just, you know, there’s not a lot of money coming in. Or maybe they haven’t decided how much money is enough money for them to feel comfortable that their business is a success. So there’s often a disconnect there before they decide that. So did you have is that clear plan?
David Ralph [39:01]
Did Did you as you went into the coaching? And obviously, you know, you can do it? But did you have that total belief that yes, you could do it? And people would come to me and I can make a success of this? Or did you have the kind of imposter syndrome, which so many of us had, where we kind of think who’s gonna buy into me? Who’s gonna believe I can help them?
Tara Traux [39:25]
Oh, yes, I had both. And I would sometimes, at the beginning have both in the same day, even you know, where I would be working with a client and get off the phone and think, Well, absolutely, I’m doing the exact thing I should be doing because they’re getting the results. And and I know what I’m doing because I’ve created successful businesses. And then it you know, maybe something could happen at the end of the day that has me thinking, Oh, my gosh, I’m crazy, this is not going to work. And that was more in the earlier in the earlier years.
Unknown Speaker [40:03]
Did you know
Tara Traux [40:07]
i don’t really I don’t have the imposter feeling anymore. And that really came from having the proper support around my around me and the proper coach. I think when I felt more like an imposter is when I did not have a coach for myself to help me stay focused, and clear. Because it’s really hard to see what’s in front of you. And even being a coach for other business owners, it’s really hard to look at your own marketing, and see what needs to be fixed, it’s really hard to see that for yourself. And so when I have a coach, then I have absolutely no doubt that I can, you know, reach the goals that I want to reach with my business. When I have lapses in in time when I’m don’t have a coach, that that’s when I start to doubt myself. And because then I’m not really focused enough, and I’m not consistent enough. And I start to let things fall through cracks. And so for me, I found having a coach consistently makes a difference as far as feeling like an imposter is a key thing to success,
David Ralph [41:20]
isn’t it. And I didn’t think this was going to be the case when I first started doing these shows. But it doesn’t matter how successful you are. People have coaches. And I kind of thought that once you’re rocking and rolling, and you’re really doing your thing, Ben who’s going to coach you, but it seems that everyone gets to a point that they’ve got a point ahead of them that they still need to work towards. And that’s when it’s best to reach out to somebody who’s already there. Because not only does it ease the way, but it gives you the competence that is possible, because these people are already where you want to be at the starting point when somebody is just sitting there listening to this show, thinking to themselves, I’d love to start business, I’d like to do it my own way. Is that a good thing for them to invest their money in a coach, even though they might be trying to do it for nothing, trying to hustle their way to a business? Is it better for them to actually spend on a coach more than anything else?
Tara Traux [42:19]
I think so. Absolutely. And because coaches don’t have to cost a lot of money. A good coach is going to have different levels of coaching available to help business owners. And so there’s going to be coaches out there who serve only those people who are just starting out their businesses. And so they’re going to be able to have offerings that fit their budgets, but also have programmes that really target what those people need to be focusing on. And just like there’s coaches that are focusing on people who are trying to break the million dollar mark, well, that’s not a coach, that’s somebody who’s just starting a business needs to be worrying about, they need to focus on the code on finding a coach who just works with people who are starting a business. And their their pricing is going to be down around where they need to be because there’s just certain things that they need to be working on, you know, one thing at a time, and so they’ll find somebody in their budget, but having a coach will really shorten the, the learning curve for them. And it’ll shorten the period of time that it will take to get to get them ramped up. A lot of business owners try to do it the hard way and try to do it their own way. And what could take them six months might take them five years, just because they’re learning everything the hard way. And they’re they’re doing a lot of things backwards, when the coach has already done it in the coach can just say, you know, just do these five things, and you’re done. And they’ve they’ve can start making money a whole lot sooner coaches will pay for themselves a good coach, that investment will more than pay for itself.
David Ralph [44:11]
Well, I was talking to that lady the other day, who I spoke to afterwards, and she hired a coach for two months. And it was just two months. And she paid $70,000 for those two months. And I said to her, you know, would you do it again, because that’s a hell of a lot of money to spend. And she said in a heartbeat. What I learned in those two months would have saved me five years of time. So huge investment, but even at that level people still see as a worthwhile expense when they can see the results.
Tara Traux [44:43]
Oh, absolutely. I met a woman a couple of years ago, and she’s a multi billionaire who lives in, in Australia. And when I met her I didn’t even know I was going to say this. But I said, you know, Hi, I’m Tara Truex, and I look look forward to working with you one day, and to start working with her, it’s going to cost me a quarter of a million dollars. And I know that would be the base investment. So and I thought, wow, I said that, that I’m putting it out there that I’m going to have enough money to spend $250,000 with her just to coach with her, and she’ll be worth it. Because she’ll it’ll the investment will make me way more than that. But then it’s more than the money in the reach it will give me will be more than that. Because for me, the money’s there, and then it’s the money will come back. And you know, I can pay my bills, and I can travel and all of that. But I really want to make a big impact on this planet. And, and leave more there. I’m not a very materialistic person. I’m an experienced person. And I want my kids to learn that they make an impact on the people around them.
Unknown Speaker [46:01]
David Ralph [46:02]
so in the introduction, I was saying that you’ve had pretty amazing experiences, and you’re blessed every day for everything, even for the bumps in the road. What what other kind of things that you look back on? What was it when the business went to a belly up earlier on? What what those kind of things that you would say, yeah, that was a bump. But probably I learned more from that than I would have done if it was a successful.
Tara Traux [46:26]
Oh, goodness. Well, I
there were there were a couple of businesses that I had started in the last five years that you haven’t heard about, because they didn’t go very far. A couple of organisations that I was trying to start locally, those were big bumps, they were expensive bumps. But But you know, the lessons, oftentimes we learn more from those bumps, you know, and I think don’t call any of it failures, because because we’re supposed to learn from those right? You know, maybe the lesson is, that’s a way we’re not supposed to do it. Or maybe the lesson is, that’s just a direction, we’re not supposed to go or we’re doing too many things, or we need to get clear focus, maybe we’re trying to do something away that everybody else wants us to do it. And we’re really denying what we really know, we want to do in our hearts. You know, my, for the longest time, I tried to set up my coaching business the way I had seen other people set up their coaching businesses. And that’s not really what I want to do. So I finally decided what do I really want my my business model to look like. And that’s the way it’s going to be successful. Because when you try to copy other people, you’re not being authentic. And authenticity is where you’re successful. That’s why your radio programme is successful. Because that’s authentic to you. It isn’t like other people’s programmes. And I think oftentimes, that’s why where our bumps happen, where are our dots happen is because we’re trying to do things in ways that aren’t really true to what we want to be doing. And, and sometimes we just don’t have the skills yet. And there’s more things that we need to learn. In my cleaning business, I learned a lot and had a lot, a lot of lessons around hiring people. In one year, I had hired and fired 25 different people, because I had no idea on how to do that process and how to become clear on the type of person to hire,
Unknown Speaker [48:50]
but you know,
Tara Traux [48:52]
oh, I do now, I do now. And even the process of selling that business, I went through six buyers, six books, buyers, before I found the right buyer. And that cost a lot of money. In that business. I also you know, I hired an accountant who said they would take care of paying my payroll taxes. Well, they didn’t. And I did not pay attention. So that was costly, because then I had to pay a lot of interest and in fees to the government for taxes that weren’t getting paid, you know. So an expensive lesson. And, and then getting paid. But it’s still, you know, what’s the lesson there? Ultimately, I’m responsible, right? I. So there’s, there’s a lot of painful experiences at the time, but in the grand scheme, a wonderful lesson. Because as business owners, right where we tell ourselves and we tell our clients, you know, you’d have to delegate what you’re not good at. But then you also have to pay attention to those things to to make sure that the people you’re delegating to are doing what they’re saying they’re supposed to do. So a lot, a lot of painful lessons through business. But everyone is a lesson. And I think that’s that’s the key there if we learn from it, and I tend to learn everything the hard way. But I tend to only need to learn at once. And then what am I right?
David Ralph [50:31]
Yeah, that’s the key thing, isn’t it? If you make a mistake, fine. make the same mistake twice. Well, okay, bit stupid. Make it three times, you’re an idiot, basically. And I can so many things doing this show. But I look back on now. And I kind of go,
Unknown Speaker [50:49]
Why? Why did I do that
David Ralph [50:50]
I don’t even understand. And it’s just because I’ve moved on now. And I’ve got better ways of doing stuff. And I’m going to play some words now that really are the theme of the show emphasises what we’re talking about now. But you just move forward, you have faith that something’s gonna happen, you’re going to have faith that the journey that you are on, will come to the direction you want. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [51:14]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [51:49]
So in your life, do you kind of buy into those words?
Tara Traux [51:53]
Yeah, I think he’s definitely right.
David Ralph [51:57]
What area of it? Is it the faith, the trust the fact that you take enough actions, you’re going to get somewhere? Where do you think it applies to you?
Tara Traux [52:09]
I think the faith I think the older I get, the more I make a decisions. And if if my gut if it feels right in my gut, I am then I just decided to have faith that it’s the right choice. And in by making the right choice, having faith that it’s the right choice doesn’t mean that it’s going to turn out the way I want. It just means it’s the right choice. And it’s gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to turn out. And it might end up the way I want. Or it might end up the way it’s supposed to be meaning there’s another lesson that I have to learn.
Unknown Speaker [52:47]
And that’s an excellent you.
Tara Traux [52:49]
Oh, yes. Oh, absolutely excites me. Because I’m, because if everything was easy, and everything turned out the way we wanted all the time, that’s just boring. It, I wouldn’t want it to be that way. It’d be like watching the same TV programme over and over and over again, you already know what’s going to happen.
David Ralph [53:12]
But a lot of people like that or don’t know, a lot of people like the fact that it’s the same characters it’s gonna be on at nine o’clock every night. Is that where life is? Is that where we should be aiming? Or should we aim that every time we turn on the telly? We don’t know when it’s going to be on?
Tara Traux [53:30]
I think that we should not be turning on the telly. I think that that we get too caught up in the predictability. I think that the unknown I think there’s a lot more of experience in in seeing what’s not, not expected. I think people spend too much time in doing the same thing over and over again, every single day. There’s a lot of excitement in the fear and stepping in the fear and having faith that that what is supposed to happen is going to happen. And it’s going to be exciting, and it’s going to be fun. And it might sting a little but that’s okay. Because then you’re alive. And when you’re alive and you’re feeling it. I mean, that’s what we’re here for. We’re here. We’re supposed to be living our lives, not just sleepwalking through it.
David Ralph [54:25]
I think he’s brilliant life. For the years. I think I was a sleepwalker and I think I just went through the motions. But now it’s like, it’s like I’m wearing different glasses, or it just feels different. And there’s possibilities and there’s excitement. And there’s challenges and there’s obstacles. And I have moments when I think oh my god, I can’t do this. And then an hour later, I think this is brilliant. I don’t want to do anything else. That’s what makes you come alive, doesn’t it? And on paper years, I didn’t have that feeling at all.
Tara Traux [54:54]
Yeah, I’m right there with you. I think for the longest time I was also sleepwalking. And then and then had some experiences where that absolutely changed. And now I wouldn’t want to go back at all. But feeling all the pleasure and all the joy and the excitement also means you have to feel you know, the sadness and the hard times. So, but there’s you know, but you’re feeling. So that’s the fun.
David Ralph [55:23]
That is the fun. That’s what that’s why we need to laugh more, we need to appreciate the simple things. And we need to realise that if you want something, you gotta go after it. And believe me, if you want it hard enough, more often than not, you will get it and I totally believe that. Now do you do believe that everyone out there Tyler can have a kick ass life if they want it?
Tara Traux [55:44]
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. If they want it, if they’re willing to go after it. Absolutely, they could have it.
David Ralph [55:53]
Come on paper, it’s Christmas Day, this is this is a day of miracles, turn the telly off, proto Brussels sprout goes out the window, because nobody likes it in those anyway. And start planning your life because it’s just around the corner, your life hasn’t got long to go. I don’t mean to be depressing, but it really hasn’t. And the fact that you’re just sitting there waiting for something to happen, it’s not going to, you’ve got to go out and knock a few doors down. And you need to just shake a few feathers and just do your own thing as Tyler’s been saying. And hopefully I have as well. Well, Tommy, this is the end of the show. And this is the part when I send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time, what age Tyler would you speak to? And what a time What advice would you give what I’m going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune. And when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [56:56]
Tara Traux [57:11]
So this is big Tara speaking to Tara, at 19 years old. And what I’m going to tell you Tara is don’t worry so much about trying to please everybody else. But instead, stay true to who you are. And stay true to what you need to do so that you are happy in your soul. And have faith that as long as you’re true to yourself. And you make choices that lead to your happiness, that the result will be that the people around you that you love will be served and will be happy. And that you will be making the right decisions for you and for those around you. And it will lead you on the right path that you need to be taking. And it will be an easier path.
And you will have a great life.
Unknown Speaker [58:19]
And that’s the message.
David Ralph [58:21]
So how can our audience connect with you?
Tara Traux [58:25]
Well, I can be reached at through my website at Tara Traux.com. That’s email@example.com also through email, which is Tara, TARA, at Tara truex.com.
And those are probably the easiest ways I’m also on Facebook and LinkedIn. Also Tara Truax both places pretty easy to find on their, that the email and the website is probably the easiest way,
David Ralph [59:03]
we will have all the links on the show notes. Tyler, thank you so much for spending time with us today on Christmas Day, joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our paths is the best way to build a futures. tava Truex. Thank you so much.
Tara Traux [59:21]
Thank you, David, Merry Christmas.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free. And we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.
David Ralph [59:50]
Yes, hello there. Do you know during the show, I was looking through the iTunes reviews that everyone’s left. Oh, I’ve had some amazing ones. Well, every single one is amazing. They’re all five star. Why will they not be five star? Because it’s a five star show. But I haven’t seen one from you. Is it something I’ve said? Is it is it me? Please tell me Is it me? Well, if it’s just not oversight, please make amends by going over to iTunes and looking for Join Up Dots with David Ralph. And if you could find a few moments to leave a five star rating and review our will be absolutely amazing. And it will really push my show further up the rankings and make it more of a show but I want to deliver to you on a daily basis. So if you could do that, thank you so much. And I’ll tell you what, I might even come and mow your lawn this Sunday.