Welcome To The Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Selena Soo
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Introducing Selena Soo
Selena Soo is todays guest on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview.
She is a lady who I have wanted to have on the show for quite a while, as she does something on a daily basis that so many people struggle with.
She has learnt to beat the fear of reaching out to people that she doesn’t personally know, and get to know them.
Selena Soo calls it networking, but other call it a step too far.
It’s the thing that can stop so many people in their tracks as they start to build a business.
Why would this person respond to me?
What have I got offer to that person?
But it’s true to say that she, has built a whole business around the right way to do this.
She is an expert in making connections across the world, and now uses these connections to build a powerful basis to help her clients explode their incomes.
How The Dots Joined Up For Selena Soo
Starting her education in New York, she gained both a Bachelor of Arts and a MBA in Marketing and Entrepreneurship, which of course set her on the right track to where she is today
But as we talk about time and time again it is great to have the education but nothing helps you more than flexing the hustle muscle on a daily basis.
Add to that the ability to play to your natural strengths and you are cooking on gas.
And that’s what todays guest did.
Although not considering herself as an entrepreneur she showed this hustle whilst still in business school.
Selena organised a conference to empower women, and in the process made lots off great connections in the media by doing so.
She had found the thing that lights her up inside and makes her want to spring out of bed every morning, but like so many of us didn’t realise that she had.
Instead she went into the traditional corporate route and moved through a series of positions at Avon, Step Womans Network and Claudiachan to name a few, working for the Man or Woman and building her business experience.
When She Knew She Couldn’t Turn back
However, Selena came to the point when she knew that the path she was on was not the one for her.
She had enough in her armoury to go out on her own and in 2013 created the S2 Groupe and made the leap.
So how did she not realise back in business school that connecting people, and showing the world the best practices for networking was the thing she should be doing?
And how did she know it was time to go out on her own, and was she as scared as all of us who decide to make the leap?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Selena Soo.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Selena Soo such as:
How much of what she does today can be traced back to her upbringing as a small girl in Hong Kong…even if she didn’t realise it did!
How she believes that we all have to go beyond what we think we can do at the time, and then build upon that standard time and time again.
Why we shouldn’t reach out to people we don’t know and ask “How can we help you?” as it is actually adding to their workload by thinking of what they can say!
How she now finds that she has a very low tolerance level for not doing the stuff she doesn’t truly believe in our want to do.
Why she believes that we should all treat the world with respect and understand that there are rules to follow, but also ones to break too.
How To Connect With Selena Soo
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Audio Transcription Of Selena Soo Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes. Hello there. Well, this is David Ralph from join up dots bringing you Episode 270 of the show is the 23rd of January today. So we’re about a week away from the the end of the first month and how many sort of resolutions and targets Have you dropped off already? Well, hopefully, you’re working towards the big ones. And you’re changing direction as you move because that is how success is formed. And today’s guest is a lady who I’ve wanted to have on the show for quite a while as she does something on a daily basis that so many people struggle with. she’s learned to beat the fear of reaching out to people that she doesn’t personally know and we’ll get to know them. She calls it networking, but others called it a step too far is the thing that can stop so many people in their tracks as they start to build a business. Why would this person respond to me what what have I got to offer to that person. But it’s true to say that she has built a whole business around the right way to do business and is an expert in making connections across the world and now uses these connections to build a powerful basis to help her clients explode their incomes. starting her education in New York, she gained both a Bachelor of Arts and an MBA in marketing and entrepreneurship, which of course, so on the right track to where she is today. But as we talk about time and time again, it’s great to have the education but nothing helps you more than flexing the hustle muscle on a daily basis. Add to that the ability to play to your natural strengths and you are cooking on gas. And that’s what today’s guest did. As although not considering yourself as an entrepreneur. She showed the hustle while still in business school when she organized a conference to empower women, and in the process made lots of great connections in the media. By doing so, she found the thing that lights up inside and makes her want to spring out of bed every morning. But like so many of us didn’t realize that she had instead she went into the traditional corporate route and move for a series of positions at Avon step Women’s Network. And Claudia chanted name a few working for a man or woman and building her business experience. However, she came to the point when she knew about the path she was on was not the one for her she’d had she’s gone enough in our armory to go out on her own. And in 2013 created the s two group and made the leap. So how did she not realize back in business school that connecting people and showing the world the best practices for networking was the key thing she should be doing? And also, how did she know it was time to go out on her own? And what she has scared is all of us who decide to make that leap. But well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start join up dots with the one and only Selena Sue. How are you Selena?
Selena Soo [2:57]
And good David and thank you for that in introduction. I’m so impressed by your research.
David Ralph [3:02]
Oh, you gotta do it. But you’re gonna tell them there’s no way you could do an hour conversation? It’d be like speed dating otherwise?
Selena Soo [3:11]
Yeah, well, you’d be surprised a lot of people don’t do their research. And I mean, it really also connects to what I’m doing when you know, talking about, you know, networking, connecting with others, helping people, you’ve got to know you have to have that background information before you can really reach out. So no, I love it.
David Ralph [3:27]
Well, we love having you on the show, because you are somebody that really touches on the fears that so many of us, our listeners have. And so many of our listeners are on the entrepreneurial path in spirit, they’re in the jobs that they don’t like, they want to try to do something new, but they don’t really know how to do it. And we touched on this time and time again, one of the key things is by actually you reaching out, and it’s not as scary as it first seems, is it?
Selena Soo [3:53]
No, I mean, you know, when I reach out to people, I really am more connected to my passion and how I can help them versus trying to get something, I think that if we’re, you know, approaching it from the standpoint of, well, the way that most people approach it is that they kind of see someone they admire from a distance, and they kind of in their mind, build up the worst case scenario of what could happen. And then think about how they have nothing to offer. They just get paralyzed, and they never do anything. But I think for me, you know, I’ve just been, you know, like you David so inspired by visionary people who are pursuing their path. And, you know, when I see someone who’s really amazing, that really inspires me, you know, I want to be able to contribute. And I think one of my natural abilities is the ability to connect the dots, you know, when I see someone who really inspires me, I can kind of, you know, pretty quickly figure out, you know, who are some other people that might like to me, or how can I contribute to their lives. And, you know, I read up a lot about people, I do my research, because I just get so interested in so that’s really been the foundation of a lot of the relationship building I’ve done so. So yeah, that’s been really successful.
David Ralph [5:02]
So So what is it because I read this on your LinkedIn profile, as well, that you said that you’re passionate about helping visionary entrepreneurs, experts and authors? What What is the visionary aspect that so excites you?
Selena Soo [5:13]
The visionary aspect? Oh, no, I mean, I guess it’s like a feeling that, you know, I know that just for my whole life really, like, you know, the thing that I am most passionate about is connecting and promoting people who are looking to make a difference in the world. So people who are really big ideas or, you know, are focusing on important projects are helping people, and it’s just what I naturally gravitated towards, I think it’s because, you know, I want to make a big impact in the world. And I know that if I support these amazing people, then it’s going to help them make a bigger impact than help me sort of fulfill my own purpose. So it’s just been something very natural to me, like breathing is this kind of work? And so, yeah, I’ve really just been following my passion. And I think that the in business, I mean, there’s is really, it’s hard, you know, there’s so many challenges. And it’s not until you’re, you know, deep into that you realize, like, wow, this is not an easy thing. There’s a lot of hustle and you know, heart that goes into everything. And, and you need that passion, you know, I think without the passion is very challenging to kind of keep going when you know, challenges come up. So I’ve always just really stayed connected to that.
David Ralph [6:28]
So you mentioned the word passion several times in Have you always been a passionate person, even when he was a small girl, would you be really involved in sports, and really involved in sort of educational activities and really channel your efforts to be as good as you possibly could?
Selena Soo [6:44]
And no, not my whole life. I mean, I remember when I, you know, I grew up in Hong Kong. And when I was there, I don’t know I was I was kind of average, I think I wasn’t like the smartest person. There are a lot of really smart people at myself school. And then I ended up when I was 14, going to boarding school, we moved to the States, and I was a couple years ahead of people in math, just because you know, they were more advanced in math, in particular, in Hong Kong. But when I went to this boarding school, I just I really felt like a fish out of water. You know, it was a different culture. You know, before that boarding school, I’d gone to the same school for my whole life. So I knew everyone. And so I just kind of threw myself into my coursework. And I became like this really big nerd. Although I think I was always an intellectually curious person. And so I, you know, I kind of threw myself into my academics then. But no, I think it wasn’t until, you know, I was in college, and I started getting exposed to these visionary entrepreneurs, I really got connected to the things that I was truly passionate about.
David Ralph [7:53]
Growing up in Hong Kong. I know Hong Kong quite well. I’ve been at numerous times. Do you have an outsider’s point of view of America now? Or have been here for many years? Have you sort of just merged into what the culture expects from you? Do you see in a different way from your upbringing?
Selena Soo [8:13]
Um, well, let’s see. What you know, growing up in Hong Kong, like, I did watch American TV the whole time. So I feel like, you know, in a way, vicariously as an American through like TV, but I think that one of the biggest things for me is just that, you know, I was shy, and in Hong Kong, you know, just in that Asian culture, you don’t really question authority. I just found that, you know, myself and my classmates, we just, you know, for the most part, you know, really listened to and did what we were told there’s a lot of, you know, deference for people who were older, and kind of following the rules. And I do feel that in the US, it’s like, you sort of create your reality a little bit more, you don’t need to follow the rules. And I remember just seeing my classmates, you know, question, the, you know, instructors, I was also a boarding school where, you know, there’s some really smart people there. And there were also people who had gone there, because maybe they weren’t so well behaved in a way and their parents thought would be good for them to go to boarding school. And so I just saw all these different types of characters, ways of being done, make me a little bit uncomfortable. So I wasn’t used to that, you know, I thought, like, Oh, you can’t speak up that way. It’s so disrespectful. And I think that I’m you know, naturally very respectful person doesn’t matter if you’re a Sheryl Sandberg, or, you know, someone who’s fresh out of college, you know, I treat everyone with a lot of respect. And I think maybe that came from my upbringing, where I just, I feel like that’s what’s appropriate is to be really kind and thoughtful to people.
David Ralph [9:47]
And has that been a plus point for you? Or is that held you back? Because in the entrepreneurial world that you’re in? Quite often you do have to break the rules, you have to make your own rules, you need to make sure I think I saw Williams say this, you have a day, don’t wait for the stars to line up, reach up and move them around and make your own stars. I hope you got that in you. Have you got that ability to break the rules? Or are you quite ingrained from that childhood upbringing again?
Selena Soo [10:15]
Yeah, I mean, I think that there’s like different types of rules, right. So in terms of, you know, certain social roles, and, you know, treating people in a kind way, being respectful and thoughtful, like, I’m very much about that, you know, and I think that it’s really grown my business. You know, when I connect with my newsletter readers, when I write when I speak, I think people can feel that there’s a sincerity a really a true caring for them. And, you know, I think that that really matters to people. So it certainly helped me. I mean, so I yeah, it’s helped me a ton. And then I think in terms of business, you know, I have to say that I really I have these action taker qualities in me. I’m, you know, I’m a cancer. I don’t know if you’re a people follow horoscope, or if you do, but my son is in cancer, but my moon is an Aries, and I’m all about taking action. And I took this task called Strength Finders, which love your people may know, you may know. Yeah, my number one quality is achiever. And it’s an interesting one, because it says, you know, every day you wake up at zero, and you feel like you constantly need to achieve things to feel good, which I suppose is a good thing and a bad thing. But it does kind of keep me in that action oriented mode. And then my second strongest quality is futuristic, where I’m always thinking about the future and being inspired by these visions of the future, it’s really driving me. So I’m super action oriented, and I love to, you know, kind of push myself to my limits and see what I can do. And so, you know, and as you know, in the entrepreneurial world, it’s like, you’ve got to, you know, keep going and hustle. You can’t just sit back and do nothing and expect things to fall in your lap. So I think for me to even, you know, be where I am. And also to help the people in the way that I do I have to stay in that action oriented mode. And sometimes it requires, you know, I mean, I don’t think of it so much as breaking the rules, but more like pushing your limits. And just, you know, just to keep going. So yeah, I think it’s worked out just fine.
David Ralph [12:20]
So I’m in the podcasting environment. And so we syndicate our shows in a certain way. And because I didn’t have that much knowledge about the environment, I broke certain rules. I just did things that I thought was the right way. And because my show is going very well, now I am pumping getting a certain amount of I suppose negative feedback, saying you shouldn’t do it this way. You should be doing it that way. And I’m kind of thinking, well, who decides these rules? Who Who channels, these sort of energies, but you should go this way, or you should go that way? It’s interesting, isn’t it? But there are these rules that surround us. And when you see people doing extremely well, you sound how think that by breaking the rules. Were really on a rules to be broken, or were there just rules to recreate?
Selena Soo [13:07]
Yeah, no, that’s interesting. I mean, huh? Yeah, I mean, certain rules, you know, you want or best practices, certainly you want to follow, you know, other people have come before you and everyone’s sort of found an effective way of doing things then great. But I also think that if you just follow things exactly, by the rules, there’s only so far you can go. And you know, the truth is, I mean, just, you know, most most, most things are average, right? Average means the way that most things are done. And if you want to be extraordinary, you need to go a step above, you need to do something different. So minutes early, think it’s good to, you know, follow certain rules that make sense for you. But you have to leave room for creativity and innovation, your own unique spin on things, otherwise, it’s not going to stand out to people.
David Ralph [13:53]
And you certainly do stand out, you are extraordinary. In many ways, you’ve actually got a very good name when I was researching you, you you type in your name, you’re the only one who comes up, which is quite good, isn’t it to sort of set you apart? But what what does make you extraordinary? What’s making a difference in your world, just by those personal talents that you bring to the table?
Selena Soo [14:14]
Yeah, you know, I think that I like that you’re asking this question, because I’m even getting a little bit of more clarity for myself, you know, in terms of what has made me stand out. I think that one really big thing for me is that just in life, I really go above and beyond I’m kind of, you know, for some people, this is a good thing. For others. It’s a bad thing, but this is just who I am. I’m kind of an all or nothing person. You know, I don’t do anything half assed, it says just everything. You know, I’m really passionate about the quality. And I’m someone who is always helping people. And I help people I do it in a really high impact way that leaves an impression. So I actually have two stories I would love to share with your listeners. I feel like it really illustrates the point. And I think there, I think there would be a lot to discuss around that. That’s okay.
David Ralph [15:03]
Yeah, go for it.
Selena Soo [15:04]
Yeah, so let’s see, the first story is about Daniela port. And she’s someone who I’ve admired for a long time, and we’ve been in touch over, you know, email over the past probably eight years. You know, I reached out to her, when I saw her doing some cool things and offered help. And about three years ago, you know, we were I reached out to her because she was coming out with this book called The Firestarter sessions. And I was really excited about it. The book was about to publish in a couple of months. But I said to her, you know, hey, Danielle, I’m so excited about your book coming out. You know, I was just thinking that this would really be perfect for, you know, Oprah Magazine, and the people there should know about it. You know, if you’re interested, I’d be happy to reach out to them and tell them about the work you’re doing. And, you know, of course, she said yes. And so I went ahead and did that. And I put together this really thoughtful pitch that was so heartfelt and personal, that it couldn’t really be ignored. And then the other thing I did is I put together a care package and I got a copy of her, you know, bright orange Firestarter sessions, put in a brown paper bag with red fire paper bursting out. I like personally went out and bought these chocolate fire chili bars, and got some fire storage hats, shoes, and just put this together. I hand delivered it to Hearst magazines. And yeah, and they responded. And that made an amazing impression. I forwarded the correspondence to Danielle, and she was just so thrilled. And she was like Selena, this pitch she wrote was impeccable. You know, every single word the whole spirit of I can’t, I can’t believe it. I can’t thank you enough. And, you know, just to kind of break some of these things down, is I was really being drawn by passion. You know, I love Danielle, I saw the way that I could help. And I just said yes, I’m going to do it. You know, I didn’t say to her, you know, which I think a lot of a lot of people do is they go to someone who’s really busy and be like, you know, how can I help you? Which is not a bad question to ask, you’ve got to realize when you’re asking that question, you’re making the busy person, you know, do work and figure out how you can help. And, you know, instead I determined how I can help knowing what my strengths or you know, which are outreach, and I just said, Hey, I want to do this, I want to help you. And all she had to do was say yes or no. And then when she said yes, I really went above and beyond, because that’s the only way to get these really important people’s attention. And then the other thing is, as I was doing my work for her, you know, I took a photo of the care package, I afford her a copy of the email. So I also let her know what was going on. And you know, this was totally unexpected. But a couple months later, when I officially started my business, you know, I thought, Hey, I should get some testimonials for my business. And I remembered, you know, the nice email that Danielle sent me. And so I just circled back with her and said, You know, I’m launching my website would love to include a couple of testimonials from people. And I was thinking, that would be amazing to have something from you. You know, I had this email from you, perhaps we could include to the sentences. And all she had to do again was just say, yes, you know, I made it so simple. And she was so happy to support me. And testimonials from people like Danielle Murray for Leo, all these magazine editors I built relationships with, I had them from day one on my website. And that really helped establish the credibility. But really, it came first and foremost from follow my passion and just going above and beyond and being a giver.
David Ralph [18:28]
I think that is perfect. What you’re saying there is we hear it time and time again, when you reach out provide value. And I think most of us have that. That How can I help you. But to say you’re actually adding to their workload, so try to provide the value before they even have to think about it. That is something that is hugely powerful. And I’m thinking 270 shows but hasn’t been mentioned before. Oh, so did you think because I know that the people in Hong Kong going back there, again, very thoughtful, very studious, very, they have strong integrity. I think a lot of what you did there taking the care and the professionalism to make sure that it was perfect. That’s got to come from there, isn’t it? There’s there’s a there’s a speed in Hong Kong that works very well in business. But there’s a furnace as well, which I don’t see an awful lot of time in the entrepreneurial world, especially in the internet world where people are just banging out emails left one center.
Selena Soo [19:29]
Yeah, no, I think I mean, I think you’re helping me connect the dots right now David that is connected, you know, to my upbringing, but definitely, yeah, everything I do is really thoughtful and thorough. And I guess it’s ingrained in me, I feel like it’s almost not acceptable to be hasty. And, you know, I guess for me, I almost see as a sign of almost not respecting the other person. And yeah, I think it must have come back to from my upbringing, because it really is an ingrained part of who I am.
David Ralph [19:56]
When when you move forward, and you build up that connection with the person? How do you not then go and cause a problem? How do you not think over I built this connection? I’m going to try to, to gain something from that person? Because that’s the one way of doing it again, isn’t it?
Selena Soo [20:14]
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, of course, you know, if you have a deep relationship with someone, they’re probably going to want to help you. Right. And so I think it is okay to ask for things sometimes. But for me, you know, I’m also just respectful of, you know, how busy these people are. And I kind of have a sense of when is the right, time to ask for things. And so just so you know, your listeners understand how I kind of think about these things. I think it’s a very, you know, it’s all about, you know, your psychology with Danielle, I was never like, okay, like, I did this for her, she owes me or now this is something that I can use to get things from her. You know, that’s like, that’s not even how I work, like the way that I think is like, this person is amazing. And I’m so grateful for an opportunity to contribute to her goals be a part of her world. And so for me, the act of giving is the reward, I feel so fulfilled by doing that. And by her being appreciative of what I’ve done, that that’s it, I don’t need anything else, as she said, You know, I can’t give you a testimonial, I’ll be okay with that. You know, I don’t need anything from the other person in order to feel like what I did was complete. And so I think that, you know, when you really have those genuine intentions, and people can feel it, and they let their guard down. But if they feel like, Oh, she’s trying to do something for me, because she’s going to try and get all these things back, I think, you know, naturally people will have their guard up. At the same time, I do have to say that I do have his natural ability to connect the dots, I kind of know that, oh, you know, I’m drawn to people who I feel passionate about. And if I feel passionate about them, there usually are some dots to be connected. And there are some synergies, and I know that, you know, if it makes sense was good for them, then they’ll probably be a way that, you know, it might work out for me in the future, you know, in terms of additional better, that’s but if not, that’s fine. So, yeah, I know, I never have expectations. And I really come from a place of giving rather than taking.
David Ralph [22:07]
So if we go back to your business school, when you were asked to create that that conference, that first networking experience that you did, was that something that you actually took on yourself? Or was that something that was you were asked to do? How did that come about? Because it seems to me in the timeline? That’s one of your key dots.
Selena Soo [22:28]
Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. So I produce conferences, both when I was in graduate Business School, and both undergraduate and I think the undergraduate one was so key, it was a life changing experience. So, you know, at the time I was at Columbia University, gosh, I must have been about 20 years old, and I was freaking out, because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. You know, I knew that I wanted to do meaningful work, something that really inspired me, I knew that had all these skills, but I was just like, looking at these opportunities. And, you know, I think this is common in a lot of college campuses is that, you know, people are recruiting for jobs, like, you know, consulting and finance. And then the, on the other side of the spectrum, there’s, you know, Teach for America. And it seemed like, there was this disparity between, you know, what, you know, my opinion, making a lot of money and doing a certain type of quantitative work and, you know, things that are kind of highly looked upon by society, or, you know, doing kind of nonprofit charity work. And I was like, there’s got to be something in between. And I knew that there were, and so I was really driven to find people. And for me, specifically women, you know, who had, who were at the pinnacle of their careers, doing amazing work in all industries, but also making an impact and making a difference. I was like, I need to discover who these women are, because I’m not feeling very inspired by, you know, the options that are in front of me. And so I actually ended up taking long, it took a semester off from school, just because I was so not happy with my life. And I just, I needed that, you know, just just to step back and figure out what I needed. But can I just
David Ralph [24:04]
slow you down? What What did your parents think when you took that time off, because once again, going through the education system in Hong Kong, which is very, very far you’re going into university, and college and all that kind of stuff. And when you take a break, did your parents go hang on what’s happening here?
Selena Soo [24:20]
Um, you know, I think they really supported me because they knew that I wasn’t happy. And I just, you know, I was like, what’s up, I just really needed it, you know, so I think they understood that. And then the other thing for me is, you know, I was in the US as a foreign student. And so I had my, you know, have I New Zealand passport, my mom’s from New Zealand, and, you know, my Hong Kong ID card. And it’s actually really hard to get a job in the US straight out of undergrad, when you’re not an American, a lot of companies, they will consider you and they don’t want to sponsor you. And so I just, you know, knew that it was going to be hard enough to find a job that let me figure out what kind of job I want, and use this time off to gain additional work experience really beef up my resume so that I would have more opportunity. So it definitely was the right move. But yeah, I mean, that was, I would, I would say that’s breaking the rules, you know, definitely was not a common thing at all.
David Ralph [25:17]
But you look back and you go, yes, absolute key.in my life back that period of reflection, just allowing myself some space to actually consider without being engulfed in the hustle bustle. That was a key point.
Selena Soo [25:30]
Yeah, no, it was so key. Just, you know, I think that was maybe, hmm. In a way, I think that was one of the key turning points of me just kind of breaking away from the crowd and the norm, and just doing what is different and right for me, seeing that time off for myself. And yeah, when I came back to school, you know, I, I went to this conference, and it was the conference was $500. And it was organized by the Omega Institute, it was a women empowerment conference. And we’re just being so inspired. Because there were, you know, these women in business, these, you know, kind of head media, women who are doing, you know, both, you know, well in business, but making a difference. I was like, wow, like, I need that. And I think everyone in my school and all these people need that. And so I created this conference, and at first I did it by myself. And then I realized, oh, gosh, there’s so much work to do. And so I just partnered up with one of the campus groups. But I identified, you know, 30 people that wanted to come and speak at the conference, 30 speakers, we had all these panels, and I just reached out to them. And I, I think that because my, you know, emails were so thoughtful about why I thought, you know, I specifically want them to come to campus and why I thought they were so amazing. And unfortunately, you know, I was going to Columbia University, which is a prestigious school. So I think I had that brand name in my pocket. Basically, everybody said, Yes, so I had the most amazing speakers. And then I had to hustle to get the money for the conference, because I wasn’t doing this to a club initially. And there was no money to do the conference mean, besides conference tickets, and I frankly, didn’t even know how much it would cost. I had no idea. But then I, you know, knew that what was happening at the time is a lot of these investment banks, they were, you know, being sued for, you know, not treating women while and they were investing money into these women’s initiatives. And they were also the ones recruiting on campus. So they were the ones with the pockets, you know, deep pockets. And so I would just reach out to them, and I would create a sponsorship package. And I would say to them, you know, Hi, this is Selena Sue, I’m calling from the Columbia University’s women’s empowerment committee, you know, which really was a committee of one, it’s just me, but as I’m calling from the committee, I mean, maybe I had an assistant, I don’t even know. And we’re launching this, you know, conference inaugural conference, we’d love for you to be a part of it. You know, here’s some of the people who are coming. You know, here’s what the sponsorship is. And I mean, I just forgot the sponsorship by reaching out to the, you know, conference organizers, students at Columbia Business School and was
David Ralph [28:06]
natural to you at that time showing that hustle was is a totally different Selena.
Selena Soo [28:11]
Um, you know, I don’t think I had, it just came out. But it’s not something I had done before. So yeah, I think it was a totally different Selena, I just think that, you know, the reality of, I don’t know, I just cared so much about this. I just wanted to make this happen. And I didn’t know how else to do it, you know, so I just kind of naturally my resources, you know, came together. But yeah, it was really like a bold thing is actually very risky. Everything I was doing, but I just kept on staying in action. And then it all sort of came together.
David Ralph [28:46]
I think this is a key point to all you listeners out there who have got this idea. What Selena is saying is that she had this idea and didn’t have a clue how to do it. So she just did stuff. And little by little you get there exactly like show, when I started recording, I didn’t know how to do a show after 270 episodes, hopefully, I’m a bit better. But still, you don’t know. But you can do stuff. And sometimes it goes off in the direction that you fault. Sometimes it ends up in a totally different direction. And sometimes it ends up in a place that you couldn’t have even dreamed up because your knowledge wasn’t bad at the time. But you just know, in your heart of hearts, it’s better. It’s a better place just because you’ve been taken action. About true and it’s Selena.
Selena Soo [29:27]
Yeah, no, it’s so true. And I think that, you know, this was me, you know, entering uncharted territory, I think it’s actually better that I didn’t know how things were done, you know, someone had just given me a template, all these steps, but I think having to figure it out was really good for me. And it actually made the conference so much better, because I just, you know, I wasn’t following certain rules. I was just thinking, Okay, in an ideal world, how do we make this the best conference in the world? And I did that. And, you know, people would say to me, like, these speakers, these, you know, successful business women who had spoken at all these top schools and with different corporations and organizations like, wow, this is like the, like, best conference, I’ve been to, you know, or some of them say, one of the best or the very best. And I never done this before, you know, so it was definitely a big turning point for me. And, you know, I guess I never even realized that I could do it. I didn’t even think I guess I just thought, okay, I’m just gonna organize an event and bring some speakers, you know, and then it became a much bigger thing. And later, when I was at Avon doing work that I mean, obviously, it’s a great company, but the work that I was doing was a little bit mind numbing, you know, I realized, like, geez, like, I can do all of this stuff. You know, I need to be doing something that really uses more of my strengths. And over time, I realized, you know what, I just need to, I mean, 10 years later, I guess I realized I really need to do my own thing full time. But yeah, that was really a big turning point. For me.
David Ralph [30:59]
Let’s play some words really lead us up to this point of the show. This is Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [31:04]
my father could have been a great comedian. But he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [31:31]
Says really about where we are in the conversation, you’re at that point in your life, that you didn’t really know where to go. But you just had that feeling in your stomach that there was something bigger?
Selena Soo [31:43]
Oh, yeah, definitely. Well, why
David Ralph [31:45]
do you think those words are so simple, but so powerful? I suppose the question is, when you heard them, do they resonate with you?
Selena Soo [31:56]
Yeah, I mean, they do. The thing is, I have a really low tolerance for doing things that I don’t care about, I just don’t have the patience. And so failure doesn’t really matter to me so much. And I don’t also see things as just pure failure. You know, if you keep on going, it’s just one of my friends that says, it’s just a plot twist. You know, it’s just a point in time. But you know, the story hasn’t ended yet. It’s really, you know, what’s your follow up? What do you do next? But yeah, I mean, for me, it wasn’t an option to do something I didn’t love. You know, I rather Yeah, I mean, I guess, in a way fail at something that I truly cared about. But again, I just, you know, I’m a very optimistic person. So even when things are so challenging, so stressful, I always have like this bigger vision, I can see so clearly and distinctly what is possible, and that vision really drives me. And so thank God that that has actually really helped me in my business and my life.
David Ralph [32:56]
But, but you did go through that career path, but so many this go through and so many of us are on, where we’re pretty much going into a job, we’re getting the salary, as you were saying, with Avon, it was mine. But you still did it? What What kept you in that path? Although you left at the end, he was in it for about 10 years. What What kept you there until you went our own?
Selena Soo [33:18]
Oh, no, Avon, I only stayed there for hold on February, March, two months before I quit. But I did other jobs that were entrepreneurial. You know, before I started my own company, absolutely. Yeah, I wasn’t able to stay there. I mean, it’s just not wasn’t in my, you know, makeup to be able to stay in an environment where I didn’t feel passionate and alive. And where I hated the work. I mean, I would just fall apart. You know, it’s just, it wasn’t a positive, it wasn’t even an option. You know, so I ended up leaving. So I mean, I, you know, but I’ve also stayed in other situations, too long. Certain, you know, I was at a startup, I’m definitely not going to say the name of this one. But it was one where, you know, the founder, and I really didn’t see eye to eye on certain things. And there were certain things that, you know, I was being asked to do that were unethical. And again, I just don’t have the makeup to do that, you know, like, I just start feeling like throwing up and getting sick. I think that there are certain people who can tough out situations that are not right, maybe there’s even the ethical thing going on. Or maybe, you know, there’s someone who is, you know, disrespectful to them a really bad boss. But for me, you know, and people can stay in those situations for many years. For me, I mean, the max is like, a couple of months before, it’s just like, I gotta get out of here, you know, and usually pretty much right away, I’m like, planning, you know, my path out like, I can’t do this. So I don’t have the, you know, psychological makeup to be able to endure things that I feel like are not right. For me,
David Ralph [34:55]
that’s actually a gift, isn’t it, because so many people do put up with it. Like, they don’t toughen it up, I kind of get numb to it. And I go in time and time again, to a situation that they don’t like, just because they can’t quite grasp that it was them that got them in that position, so they can get themselves out of it. And we talked about this where you, you go to reunions, and you hear people moaning and groaning about the job that used to work in and then you go sort of a year later. And the same people are having those same conversations, you almost want to shake them and say, You got the job, there’s other jobs, it may not be the perfect job, the next one, but just get out of this situation. And then you’re starting to make momentum.
Selena Soo [35:34]
Yeah, I know, I get it. And I also have, I also am just so vividly feeling the fear. Because I just remember, in each of these, you know, different situations where I was trying to get out, at the time really feeling like I didn’t have many options. You know, when you’re fresh out of college, you don’t have that much experience. And especially since I had pursued jobs that weren’t especially traditional, I just didn’t know, like, you know, what my next step was, and whether I was, you know, good enough or maybe attractive enough to employers and just being so competitive and really feeling trapped and being worried about, okay, well, if I, you know, take the leap is the not going to appear, you know, am I going to? Or is it just better the devil, you know, you know, just staying in that situation, you know, am I going to find a job that’s going to, you know, pay me enough, and all these things, even though none of my jobs really paid very much. So I remember, I just, you know, when people stay in situations that aren’t great for a long time, you know, I definitely can relate, and I can understand, because I’ve stayed in situations for far too long myself. It is a really hard thing. I think that’s one of the some of the hardest things is one of the things I just care the most about is, you know, I think it’s so important. I mean, I really want everyone to be happy, I want people to be doing what they love, you know, and I think that our jobs matters so much. And, and, you know, cuz that’s what we do day in and day out. And if we go to a job with a boss, who just respects us, who is rude to us who makes is feel like we’re not enough. And that’s really your job and experience every day, then you don’t have a very happy life. And I think that’s, I mean, I feel like it’s a crime. And so, you know, in my own company, I try to treat everyone. I mean, with so much respect, I mean, first of all, so I’ve been tried, because I do respect them. But I really want to create an environment where people really feel appreciated and cared for, and where the work is exciting and challenging. But yeah, I know, you’re just I’m just really having flashbacks, like, you know, I can I can really feel and remember what it was like to be in that situation, I think probably some of your readers are in such or listeners are in situations where you know, they know deep down, it’s not ideal,
David Ralph [37:39]
is a key thing. And I feel it all the time when we’re on join up dots is the reflection that makes the show so powerful. But I remember my leap of faith as actually not being that scary, because I was just absolutely primed for it. But I remember five years previously, before that, I really wanted to do the same thing. But I was terrified. So I just didn’t do it, I just kind of always going to get better, also. And so we’ll leave that they’re not going to be here. And I made all these kind of examples and excuses why things were going to get better. Now I can see they only got better when I took action. And once I took action and actually took control of my own life, then you you might get better. And it may not be better every single day. But more often than not is better because you’re making the decisions to put yourself in that position.
Selena Soo [38:27]
David Ralph [38:29]
So did you really at the moment, as we’re talking? Do you feel that fear that that’s the same fear when you look back on it, because you You seem pretty fearless. When I was sort of doing research on the Huffington Post talking, and you’re here and you’re there, and you’ve got a huge online presence. And it’s incredibly professional, and you’ve got an authority. I can almost imagine that the Selena and I’m talking to now felt these are these beers, but you can still feel them?
Selena Soo [38:56]
Yeah, absolutely. I think that there’s a little bit of a dichotomy, I think, in my personality. And I was like a split personality, or, although I suppose everything just kind of works together very well. I think there’s a part of me that, you know, definitely is very professional that’s all about quality and, you know, doing things in a really high quality way, you know, maybe it’s from my upbringing and everything I’m not, you know, and also with my brand, I’m not, you know, super casual, like, hey, girlfriend, you know, or, you know, just like that type of thing. Like, no, you know, that’s not who I am. But at the same time, I, you know, I am someone who I feel so much I’m really a feeler like I feel everything. And so, sometimes it can be paralyzing, like how much I feel. But I think that it also kind of, you know, motivates me to take action. So there’s really both of that going on. I think that, you know, there’s a part of me that’s fearless. Because the fearlessness heart comes from having the big vision, you know, being connected to that, and just seeing it crystal clear detail how everything’s going to work out. And that optimism and that passion, such as pushes me through all the challenging stuff. So that’s definitely an asset of mine. But at the same time, you know, I feel fear all the time. Like, one of the things is that I’m not someone who is a natural speaker, you know, I’m actually more of a behind the scenes person. But I, you know, in order to share my message with people and help people, I’ve had to kind of, you know, be in front, you know, get on stage type thing. And, you know, even when I’m leading calls for groups, you know, I have these group programs, I have, you know, high level people who join my group programs or work with me, I feel scared sometimes, you know, talking to them, even, it’s a small group of people, and I’m the leader, you know, but I just keep on doing it anyways, like, I feel like, at this point, I just expect to be scared quite a bit. And I just keep on going. You know, it’s interesting,
David Ralph [40:58]
is the fear thing, I was listening back to one of my shows, generally, just before I record, I always listened to a show by random just to sort of get into the flavor, what it’s all about. And I was talking about how I’d hit a certain point, doing the shows, but I started to feel flat. And I realized I’d done 170 shows, but I wasn’t on nervous energy anymore. It was somewhere in between. So did you think that fear is the thing that really sharpens your tools and make Selena focusing on the quality and keep on going forward? Do you think it’s a bad thing, when we start feeling comfortable and incompetent about ourselves? You know,
Selena Soo [41:35]
I think that it is always good to have a little bit of fear, you know, because on the one hand, while I’m able to, you know, picture, the best case scenario, I also very easily able to see the worst case scenario, I’m good at seeing like, what could go wrong, and I don’t take things for granted, you know, when I have certain goals in my business, I also know that I need to do every single thing in my power to make sure that that happens. And there are a million things that could go wrong. And I see them all, you know, so how do you overcome
David Ralph [42:03]
that? How do you not go, I can see what I want to do, all these things are going to go wrong, I just won’t do it, I find it easier. But what makes you keep going for it?
Selena Soo [42:13]
Well, I see everything that can go wrong, and I can see everything that can go right. You know, I always I don’t know, I like I said, I’m an all or nothing person, I feel like, you know that I have to give my all to everything in order for it to work out the way that I want to. And so yes, I can see all the things that can go wrong. But when you know what could go wrong, you also are able to pinpoint, okay, it could happen this way. And now let me create a plan for it to go as other direction. You know, and I’m, I’m such a big planner, I think about things in great detail, you know, I have plans for what’s happening in the business, you know, two or three years from now I already see it, you know, obviously it can change, but my mind just naturally works that way. And another thing that I have, which I’m grateful for, you know, is I have extreme focus, you know, like I said, I’m an all or nothing person. And so, you know, I really throw myself into what I do. So I don’t have a lot of like filler in my life. You know, when I think about my friends, their friends I really care about and I want to spend time with. And when I think about my work, and only doing things I care about are important to me. So I think just having extreme focus, and then having a clear plan.
David Ralph [43:24]
And then being flexible is you know, it’s it’s a big key to success. If we jump back on to the Strength Finders, 2.0 because it is one of the big books we talk about, because I’ve been proven. So my number one is futuristic, and maximize belief positivity and activated Mr. Big Five streams. And we talk about it all the time. But when you do that, and I recommend everyone to do it. The first two, you kind of go, yeah, oh, I I totally buy into that. And then it sort of goes down the line, and it almost knows you before you know yourself. Do you use those streams on a daily basis? Do you find other people to work with you have got different strengths to make the unit that you’re building stronger?
Selena Soo [44:10]
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yes to both questions, when I use those strengths on a daily basis. I mean, it’s just kind of who I am, you know, that kind of number one being achiever, constantly producing and taking action. You know, you have to I think, as an entrepreneur, and then the futuristic piece, you know, for sure, it’s really helped me, I think that as an entrepreneur, and as a CEO, you know, one of the most important things is being someone who can think ahead, and who can, you know, anticipate what’s coming up next, and plan accordingly. And so I know, those are my strengths, you know, and so I also make sure that I have time to really plan, not just do you know, if you just do and don’t plan, then it’s not good, either. And, you know, what, with my team, I mean, everyone on my team, you know, is so amazing. And I really spend a lot of time thinking about what their strengths are, and how we can really maximize that in the organization. And so I asked people things like, you know, what is your Myers Briggs personality type, you know, I’d love to see the test. You know, at some point, I want my, you know, team and I to take tests like Colby and things like that, to really figure out what people’s, you know, natural strengths are, because they’re things that people can do well, because they’re required to, but there are things that people do effortlessly. And I really want to have people, you know, in their zone of genius, where the work feels effortless, they’re on fire, they’re using their natural gifts, because then that feels amazing for everyone. But that is something that I am always thinking about. And I think people are sometimes surprised, you know, like, you know, I have an amazing intern, and I’m just so curious about her. I mean, she’s, you know, so clear, she has so many strengths, I’m just, you know, I always just want to know more about her, because, you know, she’s someone who has added so much value in I want to with her and every single person I want to see, you know, how can I help them become their best selves, you know, in business and life, you know, and you know, in my organization by really leveraging what are their true natural strengths?
David Ralph [46:13]
And do you become your best self by helping them become better? So?
Selena Soo [46:18]
Yeah, I think that’s part of my, my purpose, I think part of my purpose is helping people, you know, reach their potential, and also feel good and feel happy. You know, that really matters a lot. To me, I think that’s why I organize a conference at Columbia. That’s why I do the work that I do, you know, around helping people reach their goals in life, you know, and I think about networking, networking is really about, you know, helping other people are all of us helping each other, you know, get to where we want to be and reach our goals and fulfill our potential. So that really is kind of my purpose is helping others, you know, do the work that they love, and also feel happier in their lives.
David Ralph [46:56]
I see you as like a business mother. And what I mean by that is, there seems to be a nurturing aspect to you, you can’t deeply you want people to feel good about themselves. You You’re, well, I suppose I’m going to ask you the question, is that unusual in the online world, or are more and more people going down that route and realizing it’s the value that you provide to others that ultimately comes back to yourself?
Unknown Speaker [47:21]
Selena Soo [47:23]
I think a lot of people, I think a lot of people who are entrepreneurs, the ones that I spend time with, they really do care about other people, and they want to make a difference, you know, but I think that another thing that happens is that well, one, you know, they’ve taken the leap to start a business, and it’s really, it’s difficult to make it, you know, I think it’s important to have the right mentors, coaches to have the education, but when you don’t have that, it’s very difficult. And I think that people get stuck in this, you know, kind of like emergency mode, where it’s like a crisis, you know, how, like, they’re just trying to dig themselves out this whole, you know, and keep their head above water. And so there, I think it’s natural, you know, when you’re in that kind of fight or flight state to focus on yourself, and what’s good for you, and not always being in tune with other people, you know, and when you’re in that situation, sink or swim, sometimes, you know, it is important to focus on your needs. And I think that, for me, personally, I’ve always had this confidence that everything is going to work out. And, and because I feel like I’m always going to be okay, that I have enough, you know, that I will always able to give, you know, but I think that I have had moments where I have, you know, freaked out a little bit, you know, and, you know, even though I’m someone who is so thoughtful about everything, I’ve had moments where I’ve, you know, I remember going to a conference, and I met this person who was a really big deal. And, you know, people were telling me, he would be a great person to partner with and promote one of your programs. And, you know, I was I thought so too, and I, you know, build a bit of a relationship in the conference was ending, and, and then I was feeling nervous about my own goals, and my business and my launch. And I, you know, without really having a strong enough Foundation, I reached out to him to see if he would want to promote what I was doing. And the thing is, like, you even know what I was doing beyond that email. And I hadn’t even asked him about what he was doing. Or, you know, it was it was a little bit inappropriate, but I was out of touch. I was in my own world, you know, it wasn’t, I wasn’t trying to cover a bad place. It was like, of course, he didn’t even respond to my email. I mean, I get it, you know, it’s like, if someone reached out to me that I didn’t have a strong enough relationship, and which is asking me to promote them and mail for them. It’s like, you know, it’s, I mean, I would probably wouldn’t be able to, you know, because it’s a really big thing. And so, you know, I’ve even made that mistake when I’ve been in that place of fear. And I think that we all get into that place sometimes. And it’s not true. But I think that, you know, when we were in it, sometimes as actors we see, like, oh, man, I messed up here. You know, just being mindful that I think, I think we can learn from our mistakes. And so we want to make these mistakes, I generally do learn from them, and try not to make them again.
David Ralph [50:10]
Well, let’s, let’s bring on some words. This is what the whole theme of the show and Steve Jobs said this back in 2005. And it is so powerful that you really do not know your your past your future until you you reflect this is Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs [50:24]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, you have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [50:59]
So you’ve been talking about having believe having a positive outlook being very far having faith trust? What has led you to the success where you are today? Is it the passion that you found earlier on? Or is it the talents? Or is it combined? What What do you think was your you’re joining up with the dots?
Selena Soo [51:18]
Oh, gosh, yeah, now I’m having flashbacks to when I was in hot, well, in college, really, because I wasn’t always as confident. You know, when I was in college, I didn’t really have any role models. You know, I there weren’t people who were, you know, that I knew who were following that entrepreneurial path, I only knew people who were following the status quo. And the status quo didn’t really appeal to me. And I also had that disadvantage where I wasn’t American, it was going to be very hard for me to get a job, I was automatically rejected from, you know, 99% of the opportunities. And, and also, there was this, you know, piece of me that really felt like I need to do that I was passionate about I had to be, you know, I need to have a life of meaning. And so I did have a lot of moments of despair, like freaking out. And that’s why I you know, took time off from school. And I think that, you know, it was really by taking action, that my life changed. You know, I think that when you just kind of, you know, become paralyzed. And think of all the worst case scenario situations, it’s really, you know, debilitating. And for me, once I started taking action, you know, meeting inspirational people, helping them like in the way that I help Daniela port, there’s other people that I have worked with and help, like, Marie, formerly over meet CT, I’ve got so many stories, when I stayed in that place of giving, and action, then my life changed, you know, because what will actually happen, the jump from me from going from being someone who was an employee, to being someone who had my own company was when I started giving, and these people, you know, we’re so grateful. And just, and they saw the potential in me and that they were, you know, they all became my biggest fans. And I was like, wow, because I used to be the person who was, you know, behind my computer screen, watching their videos, thinking, wow, you know, Murray folio, Danielle Laporte, you know, all these people, they’re so amazing. I hope that one day I could have a life like them, you know, do work that really matters and helps people. And then, you know, being in a place where they each knew me on a personal level, and they were so enthusiastic about me and promoting me and elevating me in different ways, really realizing like, wow, like, I thought that they are the ultimate people to me, and they believe in me, I should believe in myself to, you know, even more than I did. And so that changed my life that gave me the courage to take the leap. And also by giving so generously I had their endorsement and support and that brought in clients. So that was, I think, yeah, that was such a major, major turning point for me.
David Ralph [53:54]
So would we say after this discussion, but your big.in life was the moment when you stopped forcing the issue and become totally at ease to your authentic self, that the lady that can provide value, can do things professionally, kind of do the easy steps that Selena can do better than anybody else? Would that be the moment when things started coming your way?
Selena Soo [54:14]
Yeah, yeah, I would say absolutely was doing the easy stuff. I mean, I was even thinking, like, I’m doing the easy stuff. I was just thinking, oh, here’s some people, they’re amazing. I can see how I can help them. Let me just do it. You know, and, and it was easy for me, you know, and once I was using my, you know, natural strengths and gifts, everyone could see that it was a supernatural strength. And I was creating so much value to people. That Yeah, they were grateful. And they were able to kind of, they helped me shine a light on my strengths reflected back to me what they what they really were. So yeah, that was I think the big dog and the game changer in my in my life.
David Ralph [54:51]
He’s fascinating is time and time again, when when life becomes easy, that’s when you’re playing to your strengths. And that’s when the most value comes back to you. So just before can we send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic? Where’s the next couple of years, you say you’re going to three year plan? What’s in Salinas world at the moment?
Selena Soo [55:09]
Yeah, so I’m going to be creating more courses for people. So I have a course that is coming out in February, that’s called influence, turn people you admire into friends, mentors, and clients. And it’s really all of my teaching around how to really, you know, achieve your goals in life is really by connecting with people who are like minded, and turning those people that you admire from afar into your, you know, friends, colleagues, mentors, and even clients. So I’m very excited about that coming out. You know, a year from now Polly be launching a course on publicity. Because I’ve been really good at getting people into publications, like I’ve gotten, you know, friends of mine, like for me at into Oprah Magazine, people into Forbes on TV, I mean, it’s just a natural thing for me to, and I really want to break it down, so other people can do the same. And then I have my six month group program on how to start a successful business and helped a lot of people lay that foundation to create that six figure business. And so I just want to be doing more of that. And so there’s, there’s a lot of things related to that in my three year plan, but I’m just so excited to take all of that to the next level.
David Ralph [56:20]
I don’t blame you. It sounds exciting to me. And for all the listeners out there who have got that that feeling. You can’t go wrong with going over to Selena, we will have the links on the on the show notes. But go over there and find the courses because she really is at the forefront of networking and building a viable and profitable business. It’s fantastic stuff. So this is the part that we call the seminar MC Selena. And this is when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Selena, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give where we’re going to find out, because I’m going to play the theme. And once it fades you up, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [57:03]
Here we go
David Ralph [57:05]
with the best bit
Unknown Speaker [57:06]
of the show.
Selena Soo [57:21]
Okay, so I would talk to myself at Hmm, at about 20 years old when I was about to graduate from college, and I was really I was I was freaking out, I was so scared. I really, I didn’t have a vision for myself, I didn’t know how things were going to work out. You know, it was looking at people around me, my classmates, you know, who would you know, were graduating people would graduate a year before. And none of them were doing anything that mattered to me or inspired me. And I was even looking at people that I knew who are older. And I just, you know, there was nothing that really connected with me. And I really, I felt this sense of extreme spare, that I was never going to find work that I loved and that I was doomed. And that, you know, there was there’s no way out. I just I just couldn’t see anything. And I guess the advice I would give myself is that, you know, just, it’s okay, like, it’s all going to work out. You know, and not to give up? You know, for me, the answer was really searching was was being inspired by other people, you know, looking in the world for people who are mentors and role models who had done things that were meaningful, and who are making a difference. And just, you know, being inspired by that, and moving in that direction. And then, you know, reaching out to some of these people and inviting them to speak at my conference, figuring out ways I could help them and proactively doing that and just staying, you know, an action and being someone who was a giver, you know, and a cheerleader and someone who, you know, cared about people above and beyond and what I did that consistently mean, I do that every single day of my life, that’s just, that’s a lifestyle thing. That’s how I operate, you know, everything is worked out, and it’s worked out, you know, even better than I could have imagined, like, when I think about where I am in my business, you know, I’ve only had my my coaching business for two years. Now, it kind of blows my mind that I went from zero to, to, you know, multiple, six figures really high multiple, six figures and up. And it’s all because I’m doing what I’m good at, I’m really connected to my strengths, I would just tell my younger self, you know, don’t worry, you’re going to figure it out. Just stay connected to your strengths and your passions and give generously help other people, and everything is going to work out even better than you could have imagined.
David Ralph [59:41]
Selena, how can our audience connect with you?
Selena Soo [59:45]
Yeah, I mean, they can, there’s two things. One is I have a video for them. It’s a 40 minute video where I share kind of my three secrets to my success and starting my business, and how to build these you know, high level relationships with the people who can change your life. So that video is called get VIP access to media influencers and online stars. And that is going to be in the show notes, I really encourage you to check that out. And when they sign up for that video, and jump on my list also, they’ll be getting emails from me they can reply to the emails and introduce themselves because I actually really love to connect with my readers. And I’m kind of a bit unusual, but I actually respond to every single email I get. So they want to say hello. And you know I would be I would be happy to connect with them and just get to know them better.
David Ralph [1:00:32]
Selena thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures Selena Soo Thank you so much.
Selena Soo [1:00:45]
Thank you David This was amazing. You’re like I think this is the maybe the best interview I’ve ever done because, you know, you brought out things I usually don’t talk about and I think that you were able to connect the dots for me so thank you. This was amazing.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.