Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast with Mr Chad Hymas
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Introducing Chad Hymas
In 2001 Chad Hymas had everything – a beautiful wife, two sons, two thriving businesses and parents and brothers who loved and supported him in everything he did.
It seemed he couldn’t fail.
Everything he touched turned to gold.
And then a rushed decision to ignore safety in favour of getting home to see his baby boy take his first steps changed everything forever.
A few minutes of caution could’ve kept his golden life on track, and he would live to regret his decision – until he changed his mind about what his life was for.
A 2,000-pound bale of hay shattered his neck leaving him a quadriplegic.
But his dreams were not paralyzed that day – he became an example of what is possible.
How The Dots Joined Up For Chad
With desperation, dedication and determination, and the help and love of his family and friends, he set out to reinvent himself.
He took risks, and did things he never thought he could or would do, even when his body was whole and fully functional.
In the years since his accident, he now travels the world, speaking to companies.
Chatting to kids in schools at all grade levels, families and individuals whose lives are being remoulded by their own events.
He has become the living demonstration of what is possible, if we find different ways of doing what must be done.
So why can he now see the possibility in his life which weren’t visible to him before the accident?
And if he could go back in time, would he still allow the accident to happen, or does he now see it as a gift to finding his true path in life?
Well lets find as it with great delight, that I start joining up dots with the one and only Mr Chad Hymas.
Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Chad Hymas such as:
How he feels that he was living the dream before his accident, and now is fortunate to have his second dream come true too.
Why the people of the world are our fast track to success, and we shouldn’t ever fear asking for help from strangers.
The reasons why so many of us benchmark ourselves against others, but actually they are just on a different timeline.
Why we should explore dropping the word “I” from our social media content and replace them with “You, We” and “Ours” instead.
And lastly…..
Why being unexpected in life is the key to inspiring and sharing the love with friends, family and the world.
Connect With Chad Hymas
Return To The Top Of Chad Hymas
If you enjoyed this episode with Chad Hymas why not check out other inspirational chat with Dorie Clark, Jessica Pettit and the amazing Niall Doherty
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Chad Hymas Interview
Intro [0:00]
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello there, everybody and welcome to join up dots This is Episode 273. And I seem to be saying this more of a more on the show. But this is the kind of story that I wanted when I started doing the show. So it’s absolute delight to have the guy on, but it is a harrowing story, but it’s incredibly positive and motivational and inspirational story as well. So I hope all of you will get as much out of it, as I have already speaking to the champ in 2001. Today’s guest had everything a beautiful wife, two sons to thriving businesses and parents and brothers who loved and supported him. In everything he did. It seemed he couldn’t fail. Everything he touched turned to gold and Ben rush decision to ignore safety in favor of getting home to see his baby boy changed everything forever. A few minutes of caution could have kept his golden life on track and he would live to regret his decision until he changed his mind about what his life was for. Now a 2000 pound bale of hay shattered his neck leaving him a quadriplegic, but he’s dreams were not paralyzed that day, he actually became an example of what is possible, with desperation, dedication and determination and the health and love of his family and friends. He set out to reinvent himself take risks, and do things he never thought he could or would do, even when his body was whole and fully functional. In a year since his accident. He now travels the world speaking to companies, kids in school or grade levels, families and individuals whose lives have been remoulded by their own vents is become the living demonstration of what is possible if we find different ways of doing what must be done. So why can he now see the possibilities in his life which weren’t visible to him before the accident? And if he could go back in time? And this is the big question, would he still allow the accident to happen? Or does he now see as a gift to finding his true path in life? Well, let’s find out as it’s with great delight by start join up dots with the one and only Mr. Chad homers. How are you Chad?
Chad Hymas [2:28]
I’m very well David Thanks for having me. Thank you very much.
David Ralph [2:31]
It is absolutely my pleasure to have you on the show. Just because I’ve tried Do you have a bed? I feel slightly guilty but I’ve dragged you out of bed at a godforsaken time. It’s about 4am you’re in a hotel room somewhere. whereabouts are you?
Chad Hymas [2:46]
Las Vegas, Nevada.
David Ralph [2:48]
So you can play all night?
Chad Hymas [2:51]
All night long. But if I wouldn’t say dragon, I’ve actually been pretty good tonight.
David Ralph [2:55]
Have you seen Barry Manilow? I asked that every time somebody mentioned Las Vegas to me. Have you been to see the Bazman himself?
Chad Hymas [3:05]
I have seen Celine Dion I have not seen very bad. Well, I’m so sorry. So sorry to disappoint you. I got
David Ralph [3:11]
similar noses as opposed if you squint
Chad Hymas [3:13]
your nose.
David Ralph [3:14]
Yeah, if you squint normal, it’s the same.
Chad Hymas [3:16]
But what I have
David Ralph [3:18]
what what is it about Vegas that excites you? Or does it excite you? Is it one of those places that sort of leaves you cold? Or do you like actually going there.
Chad Hymas [3:26]
So I would never live in Vegas, just because it’s not me, I’m more of a country cat. But everybody should go to Las Vegas at least once the best entertainment in the world is in Las Vegas. And so you can go there and see just about anything that you want. As much as Vegas portrays to the adult side of things, I find my family there to see a lot of shows, and we really enjoy it. So we’ll go for a nice day. I’m here on business this trip. And I’m usually in Las Vegas about three to four times a month, many companies hold their conventions or their meetings in Las Vegas. So it’s a great destination spot. And I really enjoy it, but I would never live there.
David Ralph [4:10]
Now I went in there many many years ago, and we were on a road trip. And we didn’t plan booking holiday rooms at all in any of the holiday games or whatever in Vegas, because we just thought you’ll get a room. And we hit at what they call freak week when all the SEO companies and the IT guys converge on Vegas. And there wasn’t a room for love nor money. And we ended up in basically what I call CSI Las Vegas territory, right off the strip. And it was it was an adventure to say the least Chad so are you in on the strip? Are you in the good stuff? Are you where I was where you basically fear be alive.
Chad Hymas [4:52]
I’m on the 26 for the web. So quite a bit better accommodations than where you were at. So sorry to say.
David Ralph [5:00]
I don’t feel sorry for make them feel sorry for me. He turned me into a man child, it really did. So let’s go back in time then because we touched on it. But we didn’t touch on it we saw basically laid it out bear on the introduction back in 2001. Or before that your life was very different from how it is now give us an idea of what the previous version of Chad was all about.
Chad Hymas [5:27]
My perspective surely was more narrow minded than it is now. I had everything planned out as probably most young folks to how how things are going to end up and what you’re going to do with your life. And of course, as we grow older, we always we all know that nothing seems to go as planned. But I as you did mention so eloquently. I, I was married to a very, very beautiful woman. The girl that I went to high school with is the girl that I ended up getting married to have two years after we graduated University. And we did share two little boys together, the oldest of which was three. And the youngest was one. And I think you said everything just spot on. I you know I was in a hurry that that specific night that it was a Tuesday night to get home to see the youngest boy take his first step. I received a phone call earlier in the day to get home. And one of our favorite things to do today, and even back then was to get outside just played catch, just to play ball and Shonda and I love doing that with the little boys. We were building our ranch our green out in the country up against the mountainside and I had my own company back then it was a construction company and things are going well. It was great, great, great life, great life just as good as today. But I maybe I should just leave it at that with that question. But absolutely wonderful life things are wonderful.
David Ralph [7:07]
But and it wasn’t the kind of life that if we took you even further back, the young child would have wanted was it was it a path that you had created? Because it was intertwined with your passions and your values? Or was it a path that you did because you knew there was money in it? Or you knew there was kudos in it? And that seems to be a key early stage career question for so many people.
Chad Hymas [7:32]
Rather, I was living a dream I had dreamed about this my whole life. And I had a that was married to somebody that supported my dream and was website, I would say that your first answer is more closer to hitting the mark. Than then the ladder is. I’ve always wanted to live on our farm but build a big ranch. Lots of horses, lots of acreage and just just build up myself and create with my hands what I would like to do. And God blessed me with it with an absolute jam one of his angels that that I and we were we were just we were living something that I had always dreamed of and certainly exceeded dream of it. She did. She didn’t let me know that she didn’t I mean, she was all in it was it was absolutely wonderful.
David Ralph [8:22]
So that that fateful night, was it something that was always going to happen? Or was it really something that you could have prevented was was it stupidity that actually changed your life so dramatically?
Chad Hymas [8:35]
I’ll change your work tonight in this Okay, it’s me sound smarter. How’s that? No, it’s complete stupidity. Yeah, totally avoidable. 100% avoidable. I am, the red light was flashing on my tractor. So I was actually driving a piece of equipment. And I was hauling that bale of hay on the front end loader, about 15 feet high. And 20 hundred pounds is equivalent to that of a of a truck or a minivan. And the red light was flashing because the hydraulics on the tractor, that tank was empty. That would be like you David driving your vehicle, your car down the road, with the gas with a gas light on and choosing not to fill it up. So is that naive this or is that stupidity. I mean, I mean, you pick so. So that’s, that’s what I was doing, I was driving on an empty tank of hydraulic oil, carrying a lot of weight. And because of that, the tractor did not have enough hydraulic oil in the pressure lines to sustain the weight. And that veil rolled over backwards and landed on my body. And the results of that are kind of phenomenal. I mean, it, my head broke through this steering column. And that’s what snapped it. We all have seven vertebrae, in our in our in our internet, we all have seven, three of those seven. And that’s what rendered me a quadriplegic, which which means that I am now numb, from the armpits to the toes, and I’m numb from the elbow to the fingertip. Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have movement in my arms. I certainly can’t feel any part of them. But I can move, move my I’ve got great shoulders, and I’ve got decent triceps, so that those two muscles allow me to move my arms and create spasms such that allow me to use my hands to get us set up for this morning’s call. I’ve got my earphones tight. So while I’m 95% numb in my body, I do travel alone, and I do take care of my own personal needs.
David Ralph [10:49]
But that’s the fascinating thing, isn’t it? Because, you know, I’m able bodied, I can just get up and walk to the other side of the room. So when you first said that before we recorded you travel alone, I instantly thought of the difficulties I didn’t think of, you know, oh, he’s been doing this for a while now. He’s sort of nowadays I thought, well, how does he do that? How does it get through hotel room doors? How does he because the world isn’t set up is it it just not set off?
Chad Hymas [11:18]
excessively right, especially in a Yoda. You go to third world countries in Las Vegas very well. Very, very wheelchair friendly. Probably the most wheelchair friendly city in the world is Las Vegas, but they cater to older people that are playing the slot machines, right but the know you’re at you, you hit the nose on the mark, when you go to Australia or you go to Nashville, Tennessee or anywhere else, just getting across the street, you know crossing rail lines or anything like that is difficult. But one thing I have found David is this, there’s a commonality in every single city that I’ve been to. That is there are always people. And even though we might not speak the same language, when somebody he sees me stuck. Or when somebody sees me, maybe having somewhat of a struggle getting from one end of the hallway to the other. Even though we don’t talk or speak the same language, people intuitively would like to help. And I don’t like to milk that or use that in an abusive way. But I am most grateful for those people that I bet around the world that have grabbed a bag helped me get to another airplane, lifted me on an airplane for heaven’s sakes, every time I got an airplane, you got to think about this, I fly a lot. I don’t walk on the plane, I never have somebody that I meet at that airport, picks up this hundred and 50 pound frame and carries it to a first class seat. And I’m on a plane for three or four to five times a week. And so I just want you to look at the power of that I immediate new people that I’ve never met, that are helping me out on a very personal level, accomplish the goals that I want to accomplish. And so I think there’s a principle there David for our listeners today. A very powerful principle. And it’s the same principle that I really should have relied on more of a building the rent, the more that we rely on other people’s expertise and their abilities. Perhaps the quicker and the quicker that we are to attain our goals and the more successful we are so much so so so often we rely on ourselves, we take pride of being independent. And I think the opposite today, I think the more dependent I am on people like you to help me get things done that I like to accomplish, the more independent I become. So I hope that makes sense to everybody that’s listening to our little chat this morning.
David Ralph [13:56]
I think you nailed it actually, Chad, because one of the sort of entrepreneurial struggles that people have when they’re looking to create a new momentum in their life is reaching out, gaining a mentor gaining a coach and I know that I had that issue, I still hold my hand up now. And I have difficulty I have no difficulty reaching out to people cold to say, come on the show your love it, that’s fine. I’ve cracked that. But actually reaching out to people and saying, How do I do this? I find it incredibly difficult. But it does fast track you doesn’t it by using their experience by using their their heart, their passions, whatever you call it, is the fast track to success. But we limit ourselves because we think ultimately, they’re too busy, they’re not going to want to help me, they’re not going to want to pick up my wheelchair and take me but you think that generally that’s a mindset that we’ve got to break down and overcome.
Chad Hymas [14:55]
Crack that too, right? You’ve cracked it. We got we got to crack that we got that faster. And that’s how you do it. I mean, that’s how you fail faster. That’s how we grow quicker. That’s how we get you talked about entrepreneurial spirit. That’s how we get to our goals quicker. By building on the, the when somebody makes a mistake. I don’t think we judge them. I think we grab a mirror, look at ourselves and see what we can do to avoid similar circumstances. So I would encourage everybody to not fear failure, but embrace it. Not fear change or struggles but embrace challenges and struggles. Just through all that you and I we grow quicker and grow through other people’s challenges and struggles as well, without predisposing or prejudge, you know without judging other people that that’s the difficult piece David right there is to not judge other people for mistakes they’ve made or things that have transpired. I would just sum it up. I said, we got to fail faster, must fail faster.
David Ralph [15:56]
But but I’m not sure that we do judge other people I thing that the things that hold so many people back is that they they’re not judging. They’re benchmarking themselves. And so when they say Chad, Hi, Mrs. And they see the, you know, the Steve corrals, and the Tom Hanks or whatever. In your heart of hearts, you go vape had lucky breaks, they’ve got talent, they’ve got this and bad. But you don’t assess the timeline that they’re on. And you look at your own. I know with my my show now. It’s going great guns, I love it. But I still have those dark moments when I think it should be further on this. It should be getting so many listeners it should be doing this. It should be doing that. Just because I had those moments when I look at other people. And I don’t assess back timeline. Did you define that?
Chad Hymas [16:45]
For sure. I think we’re all on our own timeline. I think you know, we all got to build it on our own time peace in our own timeline. But yeah, I think you’re right. We all are as we’re always comparing ourselves to somebody else’s success. And why does that person have 1000 bloggers? Or why do they have 340,000 likes on their their life page, I have 5000 likes on my life a day, I find myself guilty of the same thing.
David Ralph [17:11]
I was listening to a podcast on the soda gala with Michael O’Neill, is a great show. If anybody wants a different spin, Ben join up dots and he was interviewing a gentleman called Mike Johnston, who is a drummer. And he is a drummer who was doing the roots kind of Madison Square Garden session drummer and then decided I don’t want to do this, I want to be a teacher. But he’s done it very cleverly. So he become an online teacher selling his lessons online and making a lot of money from the comfort of his own home. And he said that his mindset change, when he realized there was no good or bad, it was just different positions on the timeline. So where he can go do a little bit and do something amazing. If he went five years back, he couldn’t do that. But then Phil Collins could. And if he went further back on that he couldn’t do something, but Ringo Starr could. And all these drummers were just where he will be later on. So there’s no good or bad in life. It’s just where you are
Chad Hymas [18:15]
now. But that’s great.
David Ralph [18:16]
That was liberating when I heard that
Chad Hymas [18:18]
very much so very much. I had never heard it put that way before. I think that’s very, very powerful to share that. So
David Ralph [18:26]
where are you? Now? I know what you in Vegas, but sort of mentally? How do you change your life from where you were to where you are now? You’ve had the accident? And I can only imagine you must leave her thinking, well, not even thinking really terrible pain, whatever. But then don’t miss despair. I’ve ruined my life. Nothing’s going to be the same. You must have gone through that. What was that? Like?
Chad Hymas [18:58]
I tend to not like to think about not that I’m not willing to share it today. I just I am your most correct. went through all those dark hours. Those dark hours were dark days, weeks dark months, wondered if I would still be married. Wonder what would happen to my kids? I think we all have those dark moments. Whether they are large, or on a smaller scale, to me, a dark moment is a dark moment. Here’s the key. Here’s the catch. And that is where we’re where do we put our focus? And what lens are we using to problem? and other words? How am I going to view this struggle? And what if I could be more productive more powerful, because but we tend to become the results of our thoughts. You’ve heard that before from john C. Maxwell with you have a product of your thoughts. And so the mind is a very powerful tool. I’ve heard that my whole life. I had heard coaches Tell me through ever since I was a young lad till growing up in high school, Chad you can be and do whatever you want. Our mom and dad’s raised us that way. And yet, when we have challenges come our way, we tend to easily forget that yet that very tools, what has put me where I’m at today. So in short, where the question you just asked Where am I know, here we are 14 years post, or 14 years post. And I am in a beautiful city of the top level and sweet and, and I didn’t get here by accident. I got here by focusing on what I still could control and not focusing 100% on what I’d lost. So let me let me let me if I were to focus and put my focus on everything that I’ve lost the ability to control my bladder, the ability to use my fingers to zip up a pair of pants, the ability to tie a pair of shoes, the ability to cut off a state or eat with a normal for the way that I used to, I can tell you that 14 years later, I would still be in a bedroom somewhere probably divorce, wouldn’t want to see my kids. And I wouldn’t be in Las Vegas. When I’ve changed my mindset and focused on what I still have. More has come to me in the process more than I thought more than I would have ever had prior to my accident. Of course, we don’t know what that looks like. Because I haven’t lived that life. I just know that I never dreamed in a 13 year time span that I would have visited 52 countries on all seven continents. I’m not saying that in an egotistical or a bragging way. I’m very grateful by I never would have dreamed that did you want to do well, no, I wanted to be a farmer. I wanted to live on a ranch. But I realized that I don’t have to have animals or live on a ranch to be be a farmer. Today I’m farming people, not cattle. So it’s just a different perspective of farming people to a vision to a dream to perspective. So I’m just I’m just looking at a little bit differently. I think the question you asked was just poignant. Right, right spot on. It’s all about that. And I wanted to add something else to you brought up the word mentor a little bit earlier. I my dad came to me in the hospital what right when I woke up, but he’s the one that gave me the news of where my circumstance was he it wasn’t the doctors, it wasn’t my wife. My dad wanted to be the one to do it.
I think that this accident probably hurt him worse that hurt me. He and I are very close. Very, extremely close. We’ve always been best friends. I am his oldest son. I have two younger siblings. And we’ve just always done things together. We’ve always been busy partners. He’s always been my coach and athletics. And he’s the one that wanted to tell me what my prognosis was. And my dad gave me that prognosis, which I’ve already shared on this show. And then he ended it with this. He said, Now what if you could leave this hospital and be a better father, be a better husband, and actually find a way to contribute to this world more so that you could have with the use of all four of your lips. Now, I didn’t like it when he said that I’m going to be on that was a dark moment for me. And that I didn’t like it so much that I kicked him out of my room I I said some vocabulary and some words that I’ve never repeated since I said some very main things to my father when he said that my dad walked out of the room. Because he saw his son not willing to be teachable, came back in the room about five minutes later. And this, this is the key. This is exactly what he said. He said, Son, are you ready to be teachable? And to grow? Or are you just going to be like everybody else and stay stagnant? That’s exactly what he said. And I said, Dad, you want me to be better. I can’t walk. I can’t feel my body. I can’t eat by myself. I can’t make any more children with my wife. I can’t even hold her hand. And I can’t play catch. And he said there’s your first mistake. You just use the word I all of your sentences. This never was about you.
And that was powerful to me.
David Ralph [24:40]
And what did he mean by that? Just so in cases, listeners out there that haven’t grasped that this wasn’t about you.
Chad Hymas [24:47]
Yeah. In other words, he said, chap, the life that you live in the life that we all live is a gift. It’s not about you and your dreams. It’s about everybody else. In fact, Stephen Covey, Aveiro worldliness best selling author best selling. Stephen Covey, the CEO, Franklin Covey, renowned speaker, passed away two and a half years ago, July. He said this, in order for you to achieve all that you want life. Find somebody else the dream that helped them achieve that dream first. That’s not my goal. That’s Stephen Covey’s book. And that’s exactly what my dad was saying. Take the eye out. So here’s here’s a, here’s a practice tool for our listeners to try this. The next time you call it your cell phone, and you send the text, or the next time you send an email to a client or to a child or the next time you post on Facebook, or on social media. Do not use the word I or use it as sell them, sell them as possible. Insert the words. You we are ours. And watch how effective that is. Watch, watch how powerful that is. I’m not saying that the word it doesn’t have value. I’m just saying. Try and keep the focus off of yourself and find others to serve. What I have done that amazing things have happened in my life.
But let’s play some of these trophies. Absolutely. Yeah,
David Ralph [26:18]
well, let’s play some words now. But lead us on to the second part of the show. He’s a Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey [26:26]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [26:53]
Now with you chose your dad seemed to be totally different from but he seemed to have a belief, the right way of doing it. He taught you a lesson in that hotel room, which really has set up the second part of your life. Do you think if that lesson hadn’t come from your dad, do you think that you wouldn’t have taken a chance on doing something like Jim Carrey saying,
Chad Hymas [27:15]
I think so because my dad knew I would listen to him, at least down the road more so perhaps than anybody else, my dad knows that I had so much of that entrepreneurial spirit, I have so much pride, that I would throw away my family, my greatest treasure, I would throw away. Because my focus would be on the he knew that. That’s why he wanted to talk to me first, he really believed that he could help me find that belief in myself. And he was willing to be patient enough to wait for me to come along with him, I think it would have been somebody else. Like my wife, or like a doctor or a nurse would have not that I don’t have respect for any of those people, especially my wife, I have the utmost respect for her. But I did not married my wife David planning on her helping me get dressed every day. I did not marry you know, I did not marry her. I want nothing but the best for her. And I always thought the best for her was to have the larger family we always plan on having. Now here we are 14 years later. And we have more than just the two boys we’ve adopted from Ethiopia and Guatemala, we have a larger family today. That’s kind of jumping a bunch of steps. But But my dad knew that. If anybody could get to me he could. And and he was right. He was willing to picture this for a second. I don’t know, David, if you have any children or not. But if let’s assume that you do? Or how about this, a niece or nephew? Or somebody that care about that? It’s got their whole life ahead of them? Let’s assume the same accident that happened to me, happened to them? Would you being a loving uncle or father that you are? Would you be willing to take their place to give them a shot at life? And I believe that you would. And that was my dad’s way of doing it because he could not take my place physically. So he was willing to endure and sit there in that hospital and give me everything he possibly could. Because this killed him. Let’s see me like this. I mean, picture your own son, your own blood laying there on that bed, unable to move for the rest of his life, unable to move? And what if it can be used? for the greater good? And if it could, what I’d be willing to tap into that. That’s where he was going with this. So I think he did the opposite of Jim Carrey father, although I did he does a very, very powerful lesson.
David Ralph [30:02]
Well, one of the things that I have found Chad, and it frustrates me so much, but I’d like to get your spin on this is, it seems to be I would say 90% of the conversations I’ve had, and you’re Episode 273. So we’re talking a lot of people only started finding their path or really going for something when they hit rock bottom. When they were in the comfort zone, and they were going to work and they were coming home and they’ve got a salary and there was nothing to fight against. They didn’t seem to want to go for the dream. They didn’t want to go for greatness. Do you see that as a common trait? Did you see that people have got to fight against something to move forward?
Chad Hymas [30:45]
Absolutely, I think that your numbers are really close, like people that I’ve run into around around the world that really kind of go in their life didn’t get there. By saying comfortable. No one’s ever grown comfortably. I think you have to lose almost everything in order to gain everything. And even more, I do believe that. And I I would have to agree that that many of the people that I’ve been in contact with, through my travels that are very successful in our personal life with our families, and also maybe financially or or business oriented, have lost big time, and almost lost everything on more than one occasion. So I like to look at the example of in America, there’s a gentleman by the name of john wall. He’s on TV every Saturday nights, and he’s the host of America’s Most Wanted. So it’s a TV show that is out to get the bad guys. That that guy, john Walsh. He’s a dear friend of mine, to national syndicators, one of the top ranked shows in America, that guy lost his three year old son due to abduction 22 and a half years ago, lost. I mean, I’d rather die that we lose my son to somebody stealing my son’s I mean, I don’t think that a worst thing that happened to a person really, that could have your son stolen out better neath your arms, rather than waddle up and, and take his own life. JOHN Walsh put his focus on helping other people started that show. And in 20 plus years, he’s put 2400 people behind bars and saved me the people’s lives. And that’s how he honors his struggle in life. And he’s got a wake up every morning and focus on somebody else more than what happened at 22 and a half years ago, 23 years ago,
David Ralph [32:54]
and he has he ever had any clue to his son was it just total disappearance or
Chad Hymas [32:59]
the so he was watching him he was watching 12 years later, they found the remnants of his son’s name was Adam. They found redness and were able to type DNA, his body so that it took 12 years to find to find that and all happen by chance, somebody confessed in a prison that have already been caught, where the word have fallen to the body structure was buried. And they did DNA. And indeed it was out. And And today in
john one when asked,
I think we’re going to get to this, you know, I’m going to hold that thought right there. Because I know we’re going to get to this the latter part of the show. Just Just know that john Walsh is focus, even today, is that on serving other people, and that keeps them productive, keeps him helping out many people and keeps them entrepreneurial, and helps them contribute to society rather than just coast. Like so many people coast in life, he’s out, he’s out doing some amazing things. Now you don’t have to have a child abducted, or you don’t have to have the death of a loved one, or have cancer. To be inspirational or to help other people, there are so many different ways to do that. One way that I like to do it is to take my cell phone and send a text to one of my children, or caught my spouse, my wife, when she least expects it. And just say this, how about this on a tech, this is what I think everybody should do on a text today they should do this. Son, current currently at work, beautiful day outside, sun shining out by the lake. Makes me think of you, dad. Now notice in that text, you didn’t say the word I one time you took the word I out. And notice also at the end of the test, you did not tell your son that you loved him. You don’t have to. He’s not expected the text was demonstrated not announced. I just I find much more powerful that is something like that. That is to just go home from work and say, Hey, love you guys. Very few even do that.
David Ralph [35:20]
No, I agree with you. I bought into your camp heavily. And I’ve got five children. And I’ve got a wife and I got a grandson and stuff. And I don’t actually own a mobile phone at all. I don’t believe in phones. But what I do I text from my computer. So you can make a text that goes to their phone. And I I text them all the time for no reason. But I just want them to know that I’m thinking of them. And it doesn’t take it doesn’t take a lot does it?
Chad Hymas [35:47]
No. But I think you know what you’re doing is you’re leaving a legacy. They’re always going to know that dad was thinking of us to the grandpa was thinking of I said, there’s so much power what you’re doing with that. Everybody gets flowers, Valentine’s Day, everybody gets a birthday card on their birthday. What about letting them know how proud you are of them on a day that they least expect it? That’s what you’re doing David that was so much power now? No, I
David Ralph [36:12]
agree. We are we’re connected here, Chad. And I’ll tell you what I do as well. And this is going to go down. It’s a bit sloppy. But hey, I if I’m going to send a bunch of flowers to my wife, I will arrange for them to be delivered to her at the least expected time as you say, but for maximum effect. So if she is at the school playground, surrounded by other mothers waiting for our kids to come out, I will arrange for the florist to drop the flowers there at 315 so that not only does she get that but she also gets the kind of all the mothers looking around going, Oh, my husband never does that. That kind of stuff. And I think it works wonders.
Chad Hymas [36:50]
That’s how you get more girlfriends right there David they’ll just shout out to your number that you’re capitalizing on a Balboa
David Ralph [36:58]
body that she almost breakup a marriage for the same reason. I knew that my my wife was going to a friend’s house. And you know, Chad that you know the house, but you don’t know the number of the house. And I phoned up the florist and I said, Can you deliver a bunch of flowers to my wife, Debbie, she’s going to be in this road. And I will describe the house to you and base it on what you want on the card. And so I gave him a big glowing Oh, you You’re amazing. And I loved being with you last night and all that kind of stuff. And I sent the flowers to this house. And I described it perfectly. And my wife come home at night and I thought she hadn’t got any flowers. Okay, she must have left them outside in the car. And he went about an hour, two hours in. And there was no sign of anything. And I said to her Yeah, Did you get anything today? Did you get a present? And she said no, no, not at all. And I went Oh, and she said, Why is that? And so I had to tell her. And I said, I sent this big bunch of flowers round. And you know, it costs 40 pounds. I was a big bunch of flowers. And you should have got it. So she phoned up our friend who she was with that day. And the friend started laughing and she said, Oh, I think you’ve caused the divorce next door. And the lady next door, funnily enough was called Debbie as well. So she received a bunch of flowers. The door was open. Her husband was bear. Oh, these are for Debbie. Oh, okay, and took them in. And then there was this card saying are you was wonderful last night and all that kind of stuff. So I had to go around there and the door and say to them, yeah, excuse me, I think I’ve sent to the wrong place. Could I have my flowers back, please. And the relief on the husband’s face was was, you know, palpable, really? So yeah, you can you can you can do it in a long way as well.
Chad Hymas [38:46]
That’s beautiful. Absolutely. I would call it epic. I think that’s the
story.
David Ralph [38:53]
For all the people out there listening. The key thing to literally all the shows is finding your thing. How did you change everything from such? Well, it’s a 360 really, not only physically but mentally to be who you are now going out providing value to the world inspiring people. How did you suddenly have this idea of well, this is what I’m going to do from now. How did you move on
Chad Hymas [39:21]
that that that that’s kind of a an amazing trip in and of itself. My, my dad prior to my accident, went to his business convention, and saw speaker on a platform that was in a wheelchair paralyzed, and my dad was very inspired by his message. And so my dad bought his book and his VHS tape. Back then there was no DVDs, it’s been 15 years that everybody was on VHS. And when I was in the hospital, my dad brought that for me to watch. I love that tape so much David that my dad called up the Office of bird that was that was the gentleman’s name and ordered more materials. And art bird delivered those to my hospital himself. So I want you to think about this for a second. Our bird, very, very well known speaker in the world. Back in the day, he’s since passed away, but he came to an audience of one without being asked, not a mailman not a mail service, delivered those products to my hospital room. sign them for me. He was happy. Show me pictures of his family told me he was a motivational speaker. And I immediately just, for lack of a better phrase fell in love with him. I just, I just thought he was just such a phenomenal chap, I guess I just really enjoyed my visit with him. So after I got out of the hospital, I followed it be followed him on the internet and, and saw where he was traveling to nine months after I met our nine months later, he passed away unexpectedly due to an allergic reaction and medication. And that’s when it hit me that that right then I wonder if I can help fill a void that the world is now missing because are so longer here. And so that’s what started what I’m doing today, when are passed away. I just I felt at such a loss, kind of like what you and I’ve talked about already, we really don’t gain anything. And he lost everything. I lost art. I lost a brother and I lost somebody that that I really cared about somebody that was willing to help me through his books in his tapes, someone that came to see me at a hospital, and I didn’t pay him to be there, this guy gets paid lots of money to travel around the world and speak to groups and he came to visit me and I was a nobody. And so when I have that loss, that’s where the notion or the idea of being able to do that something similar to what he did, came, and here we are today, 14 years later, and I’m doing it, I’m actually it’s come to fruition, it’s happened. And when I love it,
David Ralph [42:15]
he has and I was so glad that he has because they lead you to connecting with me and I’m loving this show. But it’s it’s a key point. And I really want to sort of narrow into this, people will have these ideas of what they want to do. But then taking it to the point of earning income is one issue. And the second thing, especially in the sort of motivational speaker was a speaker for many, many years. And I know in many ways, it’s very easy to get up and talk. But actually to have something to talk about and have as a message, a story with a message. That is the key thing. How did you find the message that really resonated? Yes, you’ve had your accident. But that can only take you so far in the motivational speaking world con
Chad Hymas [43:03]
it. I think you’re right, I don’t I don’t use my accident at all. I just think it speaks for itself. I don’t even think that gets me in the door. I think what makes me relative was that I’m, I never wanted to be a speaker anyway. And yet here I am accomplishing things that I never dreamed up. Everybody has that, that kind of a dream in common even if they’re not living it. And so how these people that I that I go and speak for which is a variety of different not just schools but railroad workers and iron workers and manufacturing plants and car manufacturers, some of the Fortune 500 companies, Wells Fargo. It’s such a diverse group, how do I relate all them. And I think it’s because we all have some common things that are already in place. We all have families, we all came from families. And we all go through challenges, whether it be cancer, or whether it be the loss of a child or a struggling teenager, an aging parent. And so those I use my experience and how I got through that, to help them get through theirs to become more productive workers in the workforce, how to become better parents, how to become more effective in the relationship with their spouse and to hold greater value and leave a greater legacy for those to follow. When they’re no longer here. That’s the message that I that I try and share and that I that I leave. It’s not about this was my story, I broke my neck, don’t let it happen to you. A lot of my messages are on video. This is not a sales pitch. This is just for free I people can get a glimpse of it. If they go to YouTube and see what what it what it it doesn’t, it doesn’t show me talking about my accent at all. It shows me trying to make keep on that we all go through during life this this thing called life that we all we’re all here to grow and learn to become better. I would implore people to go across to those because I spent a bit of time looking at those. And is
David Ralph [45:16]
it is scripted. I’d be amazed It sounded like you were just talking from the heart. And what I liked about it so much is when you get some of these motivational speakers and you must have seen them yourself. But almost have the story nailed down. And they will recount it time and time and time again, it almost loses its power. But yours sounded to me but you were saying these things for the first time. And they certainly touched me deeply because of it.
Chad Hymas [45:43]
You know that I’m not polished David you know that I it is true. Nothing that I say is scripted. I mean, I’m even stumbling a little bit on this phone call I of course you know, you caught me and I love the way that you do. That’s why this is such a great interview. This is different than any other interview I’ve ever been on. I’ve been on hundreds of inner literally hundreds of interviews, that all the questions are pre typed. And so they send them to events with you told me this is going to be different show and we are going to swing it just go where, where God wants us to go and and but that’s not your words, those are mine. But that’s how I how I read when i when i read your email that we were just going to swing this and that’s the most effective way to go. I think it’s more powerful doing it that way. And so I I commend you for the way you do that. This. This has been an amazing, entertaining and fun show for me to do. for that very reason. You are not rehearsed, you’re not scripted. None of this has been written out. And I’ve really enjoyed this more than any other. It’s been a lot of fun. Thank you thank Dom I should, Mike Don, which is right. He said Chad, you’ll never meet another interviewer like David Ralph I have not I have not met one that this date. And this has been phenomenal.
David Ralph [46:58]
totally appreciate that. totally appreciate. So is it, I suppose being authentic is it being real is that when the power really comes when you’re not trying to be anything else, you’re not trying to formulate a plan for success, you’re just throwing yourself out there and being open. And as we said, just before the pre record, I research you, but I really don’t know a thing that I’m going to say. And I emphasize this a lot in the shows, because I want the listeners to know that perfection is almost the killer. It’s the just doing it, but is the winner somehow.
Chad Hymas [47:34]
I think you’re absolutely right. I think that sometimes we plan things out. So much and and we detail things out to the tee that when it doesn’t go that way, then we’re disappointed ourselves. And I think that when we do things the way that you and I’ve done them today, and when people don’t, don’t go by a script, even a script of life. And then the challenges come and you’ll brace you you learn to embrace those challenges because they’re going to help you grow and you’re going to reach places that you didn’t think you would reach rather than their them or reject them or run away from those challenges. Today, you know, I look at challenges as such a great opportunity, I, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next hour and a half after I hang up this phone call. And I know I gotta get ready for the day. But I’m going to run into some obstacles. The bed that I’m on is about six inches higher than my wheelchair. I’ve got to somehow get on my wheelchair without falling to the floor. And I’m going to need some help to do that. But I haven’t met that person. Yep, it’s going to help me do that. And then I haven’t called downstairs. And hotel hotels don’t provide that service. Yet somebody will come up here and help me do that. I just you begin to embrace change rather than rather than run away from it. And I think it I think it the words that you used out that authenticity. I like to copy and genuine. Mom and dad always said Be yourself. Don’t be anybody. Be anybody else. I think sometimes we draft write things out. We’re writing words of other people.
David Ralph [49:11]
Yeah, I think that’s absolutely key. And you see it, I was talking to a lady yesterday. And she said to me, I suddenly realized that life was becoming easier and easier for me. And I was earning more and more money because I was being me. And once again, we talked about this all the time. But being changed is easier than being anyone else. Because you are Chad being diabetes easier. But we all make that mistake, don’t we and we all try to be what we think that other people want us to be. And we go into companies. And we play a role because we think that’s what that company wants. But when you throw that off, and you just be who you are. More often than not, you’re providing more power to the world, because it plays your natural strengths, and you enjoy it more. And because you’re not having to waste any the key pretending you have got more energy once again, to provide value. It just keeps on building building building until you’re a rocket ship Chad and you’re going
Chad Hymas [50:10]
and that rocket ship just keeps flying higher and higher. And it also it also identifies your weaknesses, not somebody else’s, when you know your weaknesses, that you know how to build upon them, make them strengths. And so yourself you you know what you’re weak at, you can work on those weaknesses to make them stronger. I think when you’re too busy trying to be somebody else, you get yourself in a lot of trouble that way you find yourself talking like they do writing their own words and and no one’s ever gotten to where that way that they get themselves in trouble or called lawsuit to get today, people Sue over stuff like that. So be your own self share your own story. I mean, I used to think to myself who’s gonna ever want to hire a crippled in a wheelchair to speak on a platform. And yet today, people say to me, if I wasn’t challenged, choose, and I was in a wheelchair, I’d be as busy as Chad traveling around the world. And I totally disagree with that. I completely disagree with that. I think that people that are themselves can be just as busy as I am sharing their own message of perseverance and strength with their own story, everybody’s got their story, share it. mean, I think all too often look at somebody else we want what they have, that if I get if I only have the followers of David had if I only was authentic as David if I only had the accent and the way to swing from the hip, and talk like David then I’d have successful show, then I, I’d have a great number of that I’d have 24,000 listeners or 30,000 or 50,000. listeners, if I only have this the only that the reality is I think we need to look at ourselves again to the mirror, and look at what we have going for us and keep our focus on that. And we we grow that way. I agree.
David Ralph [51:57]
I agree. Let’s play the words from somebody who was totally authentic. And he rubbed so many people up the wrong way. But he has left a legacy. And this is the late Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [52:07]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference. Do you fall into those words? Chad?
Chad Hymas [52:45]
Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s always 2020. I do by those words. He’s I think he’s, I think he’s spot on it. I look back at my life. And think about what what Steve Jobs just said there. dots have connected for me, but I never would have connected them. If somebody would have told me 15 years ago that that I would be where I’m at today, I would have told you to go jump a brick at somebody would have told me that I’d still be married to the same girl. Even after my accident, I would have told you that you don’t know what you’re talking about. I know we would have two beautiful girls with dark skinned other countries that I would be able to provide that assesses of life that they need to grow, that I would have, you know my two sons who I am so close to who are now in high school, and have grown up with a father in a wheelchair. And before every basketball game, run over and kneel down and give their data hug before the game starts. I would have told you that that’s just that’s not possible. connecting those dots would have been very, very difficult. Yet hindsight, they’ve all come together just absolute protection, as though work drawn up in a previous life by somebody else, at somebody who’s watching over, making sure those dots are happening,
David Ralph [54:15]
would you be taught in life? And I think it would be too simplistic to say you’re your accident. But what do you big.in life be those simple words that your dad gave you? in a hotel? in a hospital room afterwards?
Chad Hymas [54:27]
Yeah, it was? I think it would be what if you could I think that would be probably that that would be X marks the spot? That the trick is, you know, how long are you going to wait? How long are people going to wait after this phone call to to build the authentic and be themselves? How long are people going to stay idle in the wheelchair, I want you to sit there and watch others succeed while you continue to be stagnant. And when are you going to stop thinking about yourself or other people’s needs first, and see yourself in a whole new light.
David Ralph [55:06]
Come on, come on listeners out there. You listen to those words and just record them and play him back over and over and over again. Because you are on this planet for a reason. And then 99% of us. It’s not the reason that you are spending your time doing. You are surviving, you’re not living, and it’s a crying shame. And you need to get out there you need to do stuff, you need to listen to shows like this. You need to find Chad on YouTube. Wherever you find your inspiration to get going. Get going. Because believe me once you do, life is a playground life is a dream. And you will look back at yourself and think why the hell did I just accept? Why did I just sit in that cubicle? Why did I hang on that that to handle with all those other armpits in my face day after day after day, when I could be actually living life and not surviving? I think it’s a crying shame chat.
Chad Hymas [56:02]
I think you’re I think you’re absolutely right. Too many people wait, are too many people want a free gift, they want a free ride and they want it easy. And this did not come easy to me. And I had to learn all over again to get dressed and what kind of foods I could eat, I am not hooked up to anything I don’t, I don’t wear anything external I body My body is just like years of that it’s not. There’s nothing external, no external devices, nothing Nothing. I just learned to train my body what to eat when to eat. And, and adapted my circumstance to that. And through that have been able to travel by myself and and do it with enthusiasm and excitement and can’t wait for tomorrow and the next day. So that’s been next week David I’ve got six cities and five days, and I’ll be in Spain the week after that. I mean, who would have ever thought I can pull this one up. I’m just so, so honored and thrilled by that. It’s
David Ralph [57:04]
a beautiful life, Sir, you are an inspiration. And this is unfortunately for me the end of the show. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic when I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger chat. What age would you choose? And what advice would you give where we’re gonna find out in a moment because I’m going to play the theme and when it Phaedra out. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Chad Hymas [57:53]
So Chad, you’re eight years old, you have a lot to look forward to in your life. You also have a lot of challenge and change, it’s ahead of you. I would ask you to do a couple of things. Starting with these. Be willing to listen to those whom you admire most. Because success is listening to those people and knowing that those people that know you the best love and care about you the most. If you don’t have those people on your side, that you don’t have anybody. So stay close to your father and stay close to your family. Family First, always second, be willing to fail. Those that fail faster, accomplish their goals Pichler. And third, and finally, live your live with passion and find passion and serving other people more than you serve yourself. If you’ll work on those three things, you’ll find that the challenges that you’ve experienced in your life won’t be such a massive challenge after all, that you’ll find yourself doing things that you didn’t think possible.
David Ralph [59:06]
Chad How can our audience connect with you sir?
Unknown Speaker [59:10]
Oh
Chad Hymas [59:12]
well, there’s several ways I mean, if you if you just Google my name, just Google Chat hi Miss there. I mean, today was social media. We’re on all the social media channels but chat Hi, Mrs. ca JD hai ma s. So there’s the website, the YouTube Instagram, Facebook, and they can download all that stuff that we’ve talked about that the videos they can download, download all that for free, not another that’s you know, pay for it and stuff. And they can see they can locate us there. In fact, I’m going to go and throw something on Facebook and probably Instagram this morning about the show. So that so go there and like that and listen to the show and let’s let’s get this out to a broader audience.
David Ralph [1:00:02]
Chat thank you so much for spending time with us today and joining up those dots Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Chad Thank you so much.
Chad Hymas [1:00:15]
Thanks for hosting me David. It’s been a pleasure David
outro [1:00:18]
doesn’t want you to become a fated version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices including the two that changed his life head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots
David Ralph [1:00:44]
he thought you got rid of me now I’m just gonna ask you a favour anyone out there who’s enjoyed the show and has enjoyed all the shows. Could you go to iTunes and leave a review the more reviews I get the better the show will perform. And then it’s a win win you’ll be getting me every single day for the rest of your life don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. But yeah, iTunes David Ralph join up dots and I love you so much or even come down to walk your dog. Thanks very much. Bye bye
