Welcome To the Join Up Dots Podcast with Mike Dilbeck
Introducing Mike Dilbeck
Mike Dilbeck is todays guest on Join Up Dots is a man who is literally driven to change the attitudes of the world and help us to make courage decisions and lead from the front.
In 1990, after serving for two years as Assistant Executive Director for Sigma Nu International Fraternity where he produced more than 20 video programs and two international conventions for the fraternity, he had established a reputation for creating and producing effective and powerful video presentations and special events.
However, it was in 2008 when he saw the reaction to one of the films he just produced, which caused quite as stir with whoever vewied it.
It was a reaction very distinct from his other creations.
This one sparked a demand.
The reason why has showed up in each of the nearly 4,000 stories he has accumulated via live texting from his keynote audiences that view the film.
How The Dots Joined Up For Mike
Each story he received was heart-breaking.
Each story was filled with the shame and regret from not intervening in a moment of need.
Each story points to the pain we carry with us for the rest of our lives…pain that determines whether we will ever stick our neck out again.
Pain that impacts our own confidence and self-esteem.
It was with this realisation that the world need to take more responsibility for its actions that he created.
A movement away from the shame, regret and guilt we all feel from being bystanders to any injustice or wrongdoing.
A movement towards a whole new world where we are standing up, stepping in, and speaking out against inappropriate, abusive, and unhealthy behaviors.
A movement based on a creed that challenges us, inspires us, and moves us to action.
So why does he feel that we are world full of anti-heroes. Hoping that we don’t get involved. Hoping that someone else will step in and help?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr Mike Dilbeck
During the show we discussed such weighty topics as:
How he struggles with the enormity of the task that he decided to take on every day of his life.
How he spent a weekend with a group of students in Sedona, and literally changed the mind of everyone there.
Why he knows in his heart of heart that he wont be around to see the fruits of his labour come to fruition.
How he was offered a great offer in the past but refused to settle what was on offer to him.
Why we are not defined by the next decision we make. Make the decision and then assess if it was the right one or not, and then make another one.
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How To Connect With Mike Dilbeck
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Full Transcription Of Mike Dilbeck Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello bear world and welcome to Join Up Dots again, Episode 283. The same person that was with you yesterday and the same person that’s going to be with you tomorrow but a different guest. And we have got a guest on Join Up Dots today who is a man who is literally driven to change the attitudes of the world and help us to make courageous decisions and lead from the front in 1990. After serving for two years as assistant Executive Director for Sigma Nu international fraternity where he produced more than 20 video programmes and two international conventions for the entity, he had established a reputation for creating and producing effective and powerful video presentations and special events. However, it was in 2008. When he saw the reaction to one of the films he just produced, which caused quite a stir with whoever viewed it. It was a reaction very distinct from his other creations, this one sparked a demand. The reason why I showed up in each of the nearly 4000 stories that he since accumulated via live texting from his keynote audience that viewed a film. Each story he received was heartbreaking. Each story was filled with the shame and regret for not intervening in a moment of need. Each story points to the pain we carry with us for the rest of our lives. pain that determines whether we will ever stick our neck out again, pain that impacts our own competence and self esteem. Wow, powerful stuff. It was with this realisation that the world needs to take more responsibility for his actions that he created response, ability and movement away from the shame, regret and guilt. We all feel from Being bystanders, to any injustice or wrong doing a movement towards a whole new world where we are standing up stepping in and speaking out against inappropriate, abusive and unhealthy behaviours. A movement based on a creed that challenges us, inspires us and moves us to action. So why does he feel that we are a world full of anti heroes hoping that we don’t get involved hoping that someone else will step in and help? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mike Dilbeck. How are you, Mike?
Mike Dilbeck [2:31]
Good morning. I’m awesome. I’m awesome. Thank you for having me.
David Ralph [2:34]
It’s lovely to have you on the show. It’s very early for you. So I do apologise.
Mike Dilbeck [2:39]
But all right,
David Ralph [2:40]
it is. It’s a subject isn’t it? funnily enough, I’m normally I sort of preamble around, but I’m gonna go straight to is because let’s go when I was reading it, and when I was researching you, I thought to myself, this happens to everyone, doesn’t it? This happens to everyone throughout our life. You’re at school and somebody’s getting bullied and you don’t protect You just sort of sit back and you in your office and something happens. And they asked for any sort of bystanders and you think, Oh, I’m not getting involved in that. It’s just sort of human nature. So what you’re doing is, is big, it’s bigger than you could possibly hope to, to actually achieve Really? Or is it?
Mike Dilbeck [3:21]
It actually is. And I’ve actually shared that in other conversations I’ve had and I want to share it with your listeners today that, you know, I deal I have to deal with myself all the time that I’m big enough to deal with this. Just you know, I’m like, there’s many times I will get into the what I call the conversations in my own head, like this is too big for me, who am I to think that I can make any difference any debt whatsoever, and empowering the world and creating a whole new world where we are standing up stepping in and speaking up for what’s right. I mean, who do I think I am that I can actually go do something like that? That’s crazy. And you know, then I had to sort myself out and you know, Listen to those voices and like okay that you know, they’re not our best friend, they’re always going to try to tear us down, they’re always going to tell us that what we want to achieve is not possible. And while there’s certainly enough forces out in the world telling us that we’re the probably the biggest force telling ourselves that, and I had to deal with that, and I’ve dealt with it many, many times, and still do. And because this is a human being phenomenon, if you have a pulse, if you know if you have, if you’re living and breathing right now, this is something you deal with Now many people are numb to the fact that they’re dealing with it, they’re not even aware of it. A lot of the work that I do is to wake people up to the fact that this is a need. I’ve actually say that this is a need that people don’t even know that they have because they become so numb. They become so callous, and that doesn’t say they’re bad, awful wrong, people. We all have done this. We’ve all been confronted by this so many times in our lives, where you know, it wasn’t point maybe it was early in our lives where we were confronted by something we didn’t do what we wanted to do. We didn’t say what we wanted to say, didn’t go his way we the way we wanted to go when we told ourselves something. Or maybe it was even where something was happening to us. We were being bullied, or an offensive remark was made. And we wanted someone else to stand in and step in and speak out for us yet no one did we make decisions in those points. Those are decision points in life. And we say something like, Well, clearly nobody cares, or I’m not good enough. I can’t make the difference I want to make why even try. And those are we sentence ourselves in those moments like we stand in front of a judge and he puts down the gavel, he goes, You are now sentence for the rest of your life. You are no longer good enough. And then we take that with us and you said this in your introduction that you know, it will interfere with our ability, our own our own willingness to ever stick our neck out for anyone. Whatever again. So yes, this is a human being phenomenon. Not that we’re bad, awful wrong people. Actually, in one way, it’s good news. It just says we’re humans. Yes. So
David Ralph [6:10]
we’re not as such talking about, you’re walking down the street and you see some madman with a knife running around and some guns and you go head on and tackle them. That that is what kind of standing up and being accountable that’s almost live, David, it’s so
Mike Dilbeck [6:26]
great. I was just before while I was drinking my coffee trying to wake up for this session. I was watching a show here in America called Good Morning America. And they actually it’s so funny you say this, and of course, there’s no accidents in life. They actually showed a story this morning about a man that attacked, ran down the street and put his arm around the this beggar. It’s a man that was running away from robbing a jewellery store. He literally had a machete in his hand and the jewels in the other and he pounced on this man and tackled him to the ground. Now that is what i’m talking Talking about I would never recommend anybody do that. Well, but But yeah, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t like oh my gosh, I need to call somebody and I, I believe that they’re, you know, one of the focuses I make when I speak to audiences is there are ways to get involved that do not require us putting our life in danger that man put his life in danger. Now, if somebody chooses to do that, like that man did well all power to them for whatever reason, they were compelled. They had such a strong impulse, like, I’ve got to do something here and it’s like, he lost all his control to not do something he just went for it. Now, I don’t know what that is that has somebody be that crazy. But there was something compelling him to do that. But that’s an extreme example. And you know, in London, we focus on that a lot as the only time that like that happens, but I’m also talking about the times in life that it doesn’t look like that like you’re sitting in the office and somebody makes an inappropriate comment that just kind of makes your hair you know the hair on your back, your neck stand on and white gives you like a It just goes against every moral fibre of your being. But yet we just sit there and sometimes we laugh along like oh in that funny, because we are scared, we’re scared to death. But we don’t do
David Ralph [8:13]
if we step back to that that lunatic scenario and yes, there is a deeply human trade and you probably feel it and I probably feel it. I know I feel it when you go and see Liam Neeson in taken free and he walks into a room and he beats everybody up and you kind of think I wish I could be like that. I wish I could just take people down and had that kind of glory to it. But they’re few and far between. and they what you’re talking about is the such the subtle things, but you don’t actually realise that it’s occurring, that that’s the key difference to what we’re talking about, isn’t it?
Mike Dilbeck [8:49]
It is, I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s the only thing because we also want to be prepared for those moments that aren’t so subtle. You know, those moments that there’s people standing around watching something happen and we see it on the news. We see it YouTube videos, you know that, you know, it’s like, wow, you’re waiting for someone else to do something and everybody’s looking at each other. And like, Okay, well, he will know she will, and they’re looking at you thinking you will. So there are those moments where it’s not subtle at all. And then there’s other moments on the other end of the spectrum that are very subtle, but there’s subtle because they become so commonplace, you know, inappropriate comments, or inappropriate, you know, touching of someone, you know, in the workplace, or, you know, it’s like, there’s been so many times that it’s happened that it has been commonplace, and it becomes subtle, because we’re so resigned, that we could ever make a difference in that even though every time it happens, I want to believe it, somebody has a problem with it. And I choose to believe that, well,
David Ralph [9:47]
let’s take you back in time, because that’s what we do on Join Up Dots. And that’s the whole theme of the show. Now, if we took you back in time to when you were creating best film, and it’s obviously changed your life, and it’s one of the biggest dots in your life. And it’s probably changed your life in a way that you look back and you think, wow, I just didn’t see this coming until I released it at all.
David Ralph [10:08]
When you were editing it when you were putting it together before it actually got released to the world and the first people that saw it, did you see the power in it? Or were you too close to it to see the effect it was gonna have?
Mike Dilbeck [10:19]
No, I definitely did. And I’ll go back a little bit further. I, you know, I was at that time, as you mentioned in my bio, producing, I was a filmmaker and producing films and videos strictly for higher education, and more specifically, I’ve worked inside of a niche of the national fraternity and sorority community. And I was you know, I produced several videos for them many videos over the course of 25 plus years. And you know, they would all just, you know, produce some whether a particular client hired me individually or I brought fraternity and sorority organisations at the national level together to fund a bigger project. I’d done that for different times on alcohol and binge drinking and you know, things like that, well, I just thought this would be one other one, you know, and you know, while I get involved, like I get, you know, immersed in whatever the topic is that I am producing, I typically produce it, I release it, it goes out in wherever it goes to my clients, and then into their programming. And they use it however they use it, and I can go on and produce the next thing. And this one, you know, as you mentioned, my bio was different. And like, Whoa, I didn’t, you know, I truly did not expect this to grab me and to grab others and the way that it still continues to do and when we brought on us embarked on this and I decided to make it a reality based conversation. I brought together 10 college students from all around the country, flew them into Phoenix and bust them up to this retreat house that we got in Sedona, Arizona, and it was a whole weekend affair. You know, we started on Friday, we hiked together, we, you know, it’s kind of a bonding moment. Then we had a dinner that night. And then we spent all day Saturday sitting around this living room with cameras everywhere, documenting this conversation on a subject that is technically called bystander behaviour. And I say that very distinctly because with my Texas accent, that I still have with me time to time people go, What are you saying? bystandard? No. So bystandard when we stand by we’re being a bystander and the behaviour of that. So we studied that and how does it impact you? And it was just a real conversation. There was, you know, one student that had been impacted by sexual abuse, and nobody came up to intervene, but then one person did. And then everybody, this was a very powerful recollection of that. So the reason I share all this with you and for your listeners is, I walked not only that I walked out of that three day, Friday, Saturday, Sunday experience, a changed man. Like I looked at things differently. I looked at life differently. It caused me to look back in my life, on how this has impacted me, but I saw how each one of those 10 college students walked out of the weekend. They were not the same students that walked in on Friday as the ones that left on Sunday, they were empowered, they were in touch with something that they didn’t even have a touch with, like they were, they thought of things they never thought they’d tuck down so far, even though it was still impacting their life. They had tucked it down so far, they didn’t know how much it was impacting their decisions and how much they will or will not stick their neck out for anyone else. So it was just really, I call it transformational because it really was, and this can be a transformational conversation. You know, I don’t ever say that I have all the tools and I don’t have all the answers. And I’m not even here to tell you what to do. But I am here to wake us all up to how it impacts our life, how this phenomenon impacts our lives so that we are more aware, and we’re more in touch with and we’re more connected to who we really are and the difference. We really want to make that at least maybe we’ll pay attention to those impulses and not not push them down, suppress them through our own resignation, our own cynicism and our own fears. But we actually let them guide us. And we actually let them move us into action to know ourselves as bigger and know ourselves as someone who can show what I call courageous leadership throughout our lives.
David Ralph [14:26]
Now I imagine if I was the students, I’m at that weekend with you. We had these conversations and I’m in this log cabin or wherever you are you in this this building, and everything he’s clear to me, everything is yes, we got to change this. This is this is big. This is a task but the world needs to undertake. But then when you step out into the real world, there must be a kind of confusion but you’re like, Okay, I’ve seen what we should be doing. But I’m only the only person that’s seen this. It’s like I’ve got new glasses. On how do I get everybody else on the planet had the same glasses, that’s got to be confusing, isn’t it?
Mike Dilbeck [15:06]
It’s confusing, and it’s overwhelming. And it’s it’s sometimes somewhat unanticipated. Like we were all together in that house for an entire weekend, creating what I am out to create a whole new world. And again, I will not see this, I am clear, I will not see this in my lifetime. But I just finished writing the manifesto for courageous leadership. I’m in the design process now. And hopefully, by the time this releases, it will be available to your listeners for free download. But I really say that, you know, I, it’s, it’s logical, it’s simple. It makes a lot of sense, what we talked about, and what I’m standing for in this whole new world. It’s something we want to create. And, you know, we left that weekend with a whole culture created between everybody that was there, that if we were able to go out and live with just those people, we could cost something. But the reality is, we all went back to our own Individual homes and campuses and workplaces. And we weren’t with the same people that had just had the same conversation with the same level of awareness. And you walk out into the world that is not necessarily in agreement or have the same tools that you just now have had access to. And that’s where we get shut down. You know, and I, again, I talked about how logical This is, how simple it is, in the world of simplicity. It’s really simple. Just tap into our own impulses. Don’t let fear stop us. But in reality, while it’s simple, it’s not easy. Now,
David Ralph [16:37]
I’m going to be devil’s advocate, and I’m going to stop you Yes, there. I come from a training background. So I used to spend a lot of time with companies saying to me, we want you to train on this subject. And I would go into a room for two days and I would train the people on that subject, and the people would come out, yes, ready. I’ve learned this new site. That’s great. And then about three weeks later, you Look at them anything, you know, using any of it. Right? It’s all it’s all just drifted away and you’ve slipped back into the same routine. How did you make sure that those people that came out of that house in Sedona didn’t do that same thing that I’ve seen time and time again, and just let that enthusiasm that passion for the task just drift away.
Mike Dilbeck [17:19]
To be totally honest with you, some did, some didn’t. For some people, some of those 10 students, it died as soon as they got on the plane, meaning they, you know, they Something happened and they didn’t intervene, or they didn’t say something. And they those voices, that resignation that cynicism took over and has never given way. I mean, and that’s the truth. And they, you know, I think we can do our job as trainers as coaches as you know, speakers as authors, you know, as counsellors and you know, whatever role we find ourselves in to wake people up to this, but at some point and we, you know, we can create whatever We create and I’m looking at doing that more and more and what ongoing programmes you know it, and I’m sure we’ll get to this, but when you join the revolution that I’ve created, you know, you get ongoing access to free resources and my programme, you know, but I can’t force that on people, you know, they have to, they have to tap into that themselves and keep it tapped into. Otherwise it will go dead so quickly. I mean, there were a couple, I don’t know a couple of students specifically that I know that left, and their lives were never the same and they got involved and they made a difference and they went into a job they never thought they’d go into to make the difference for other students. And you know, and they really credit that weekend for being the spark for that happening in their life. But that weekend did nothing. You know, my keynote my programmes do nothing, unless the participant is willing to take whatever they now know whatever, they’re not awake to and use it in their Life, you know, I call it I give you a tool, I literally called it the tool kit for courageous leadership. It’s a, I would say, imagine a tool kit, you know, like a toolbox that I’ve now given you with the you’re going to walk around with in life. Granted, it’s transparent, no one ever sees it. But you are now walking around with a tool kit. When something happens, unless you have the willingness to put down that toolkit, open it up, grab whatever tool you need to deal with that situation, then it’s not gonna make any difference that tool kit was never opened. It’s just another thing you’re dragging along with you. But you have to be the one willing to take the actions. I literally say this in my keynote, I go through six, what I call the six strengths for courageous leadership. And you know, that we can access and we can assess within ourselves and we can develop but those will make absolutely zero difference. Zilch, nada, nothing. You know, you can be you can be on the scale of one One to 10, a 10. And all six of these strengths, integrity, generosity, you know, equality, bravery, vulnerability, you can just be a master at all six of those strengths that I’ve identified. And they will make zero difference unless you’re willing to transform each of those into taking action.
David Ralph [20:19]
But this is a key point to live. And I know we’re talking about your platform, and we’re going to come on to responsibility even more. But for the people out there who are looking to change their life and do something, it comes to those those key streams again, doesn’t it? So it’s not just as helping you is helping them personally and professionally to create the dreams that they want.
Mike Dilbeck [20:42]
Yeah, and you know, and I think it’s necessary to create a powerful context it’s necessary to look at what do I need to individually and personally develop, you know, what strengths do I want to acquire or, you know, strengthen within myself, but all that will make no difference, but the only thing that will ever make any difference and this really is for your listeners, you know with any desire they have to make a change or any desire they have to intervene. You know, out of this conversation we’re having any desire they had to make any difference for themselves, for others and for society will make no difference unless that desire is translated into actual actions. There’s never been any change caused on this planet without someone at least one person taking at least one action. It’s just it’s not possible as long as if it stays in your head. You know, I oftentimes say this The world is full of good intentions. We need more action.
David Ralph [21:43]
But let’s play some words now that really tie into this and these were said, I think summer last year seems a while ago now but by Jim Carrey, this is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [21:53]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Now, when I started playing
David Ralph [22:21]
that, Mike, a lot of conversations I was having where we’re entrepreneurs, businessmen that were in a crappy job, and they were just about to do a leap of faith. So there was a conscious decision to move forward with people like you. Are you taking a risk on doing something you love? Or has that thing just found you? Is it just engulfing you and you haven’t got any choice? Really?
Mike Dilbeck [22:46]
That’s, I love that question. And I love being able to look back on that and it does take me back and those those points in my life and I think we all have those points where we have a decision to make we have a choice to make and It’s either going to go this way or it’s going to go that way. And we’re either going to take a risk, we’re either going to go beyond whatever fears and hesitations and concerns and even reasons and justifications we may have for not taking the road that we want to take and give into that and never know what it would be if we did. And it’s not much different than intervening. I mean, we all you know, I even say this, we there is we all have choices to make it instant instantaneous, is called instantaneous choices to make in life, whether it’s, do I leave my job and create one of my own or whether it’s to intervene, it’s still a choice that we make. So falling through with your question is, you know, there had been choices in my life that I don’t know why I made the choice. I did. You know, some of them were relatively young, I just turned 50. So they seem younger. Now, at one point that wouldn’t seem young at all. But, uh, you know, I did you know, I didn’t know if I would succeed, I didn’t know if I would fail. And I don’t even know really, I don’t know if I was in tune with maybe I wasn’t even awake myself. And maybe that’s a good thing that I wasn’t even aware of the risk. I was taking enough to know that it was a risk. I was so compelled. I wanted it so badly. I’m like, I’m just going to do it. And I did leave a job and go into self employment. And I left a you know, salary, with benefits, stable, reliable, I could do this for a long time job. And it wasn’t really like I was even miserable. I wasn’t, you know, I was living in a place I wasn’t necessarily inspired by it was a very small little town. And there were things about it that I didn’t see myself doing long term, but there was just something else pulling me man, that was way back then. And then mostly, you know, in 2008, I had the same decision to make, you know, do I continue being a filmmaker that It was safe I was good at it it was it made me really great money and but I knew in the I knew in my heart that I was burned out at least at doing what I the way doing it the way I was doing it I knew this was it was just my safety It was my go to and I’d left and gone done other things and then always would come back to this because it was my safe go to didn’t like me up necessarily didn’t get me up out of bed in the morning like, oh, let’s take this on. You know, it wasn’t that kind of thing, which I think many of your listeners can relate to. It was just, I’ll say it this way it allowed me to survive. It just allowed me to survive the day the week in my life. But it really did not fulfil me. And I really think sometimes as sometimes I think we cause those things to come about that fulfil us. And then I also think that sometimes they come along and they just slap us in the face or they hit us like a rock, you know, to the head and they cause a decision that we didn’t Know that like, Where did this come from? And I really thought that this project would be one other project and I would produce it and go on and do other things. Because I was in my safety zone, and I did what I did well, and I thought I would release this film and let people use it like I always had, and I’d go off and do the next one. And that’s just the way that would look that was kind of the cycle. You said
David Ralph [26:23]
the word safety and safe about seven times where did you look back on that with the word now? Is that something that frightens you that full of safety because to me now doing this job having these conversations with people seeing what they achieve by putting themselves out there? And more often than not forgetting about that safety, which we like that comfort position? I now I’m quite frightened about I’m ever going to slip back into that safety mechanism. Are you the same?
Mike Dilbeck [26:55]
Oh my gosh, it absolutely right now, right this minute. Having to confront that in my own personal life. And, you know, I have, you know, I’m confronting, you know, there is, you know if if it maybe other people are in this that they can relate, but you know, and I think you are that being self employed Call it what I call a solopreneur. And, you know, there’s, there’s not a lot of safety. I mean, we’re producing our own income, we’re producing our own life, we’re totally self employed we are, it’s up to us, as an individual to take care of ourselves and produce the income that we can put food on the table, and we can pay our rent or pay our mortgage. And, you know, yes, make the difference we’re out to make and that is first and foremost, but you can’t do that. Unless you take care of yourself. And you have a roof over your head and you can do all those things that keep your life sustained from day to day and pay for health insurance if you have to pay for that in your country. But you know, and we’re dealing with that in America, but you know, all the All that stuff, but most importantly food you have to eat. In order to make a difference, you have to be alive. So and make to eat, you have to have money to eat. So I’m dealing with that and there’s a there’s an unreliability on I don’t know if that’s the right word to use, but there’s a there, there’s a, I don’t know, when you can go to it, I don’t know what I’m thinking about how to say this, that makes sense. There is a safety, you know, go into a full time permanent job with benefits which I had, which I left, but there’s a safety about that you can go you can do whatever you do, you can put money in someone else’s pocket. And they, therefore will give you a little percentage of that for living. You know, they’ll provide you benefits and it’s a safety zone that you get to go to every day. But here is safety at what cost.
David Ralph [28:53]
What is the youth and what is the cost? Could could are you now unemployable if somebody comes along and says Mike I’m going to pay you a squilliam pound. Yeah, but I’ve got your balls, basically. And I’m going to make sure that you work when I want you to work way I want you to work. would you do it? No.
Mike Dilbeck [29:14]
I would say let’s talk. You know, and I learned this lesson. Several years ago, I think many of us live life in an either or context. Like it’s either going to be full time, give you everything I’ve got. And you know, granted if that’s all they’re willing to give you, then your maybe your conversation ends. But you know, and maybe you’re, you’re you’re standing on this side, and they’re standing on that side, you’re like, You don’t look at the middle because you like I want to stay self employed. I want to fulfil my mission. I want to work on my project. I want to do everything that I’m doing. I still want to change the world. Blah, blah, blah. I want to do that. That’s what fulfils me. That’s what gets me up in the morning. That’s what gets me excited. That’s what I’m passionate about. But you’re also enticing me with this full time. What let’s say a big time salary, full time, benefits, security, safety, reliability, you know, that’s also enticing. You know, what’s more important to you. And we usually like I can either have this or I can have that. And I was dealt that kind of decision several years ago. And I was, there was no way I was going to take the salary position because I wasn’t willing to give up my mission in life, what has become my mission in life, I’m clear, this is my calling. And we can talk about that more if you want. But I’m clear, this is what I was put on this planet to do, and I’m not going to sacrifice that. So I’m like, I’m not gonna take your offer and sacrifice that. But then I thought, Wait, I live in this either, or I can either do this or I can do that. What would it look like to have it all? And when I shifted that context, that way of thinking, I was open to let’s talk. And I went to them. I’m like, this is what you can have of me. Not gonna give you everything. I’m not willing to put this this other thing that I’m doing aside my real passion, but I have something to provide you and you have something to provide me. Can we create something where we have it all, and we all win, it’s a win win win win win, win win, I mean, several different wins all across the board. And they were open to having that conversation. And I did create an agreement and arrangement for two years that I worked for them. They literally paid me a full time salary, full time benefits, but I had the freedom and the I’ll call it the luxury of not working in the office every day working remotely. They knew that, you know, they knew what they were agreeing to that they wouldn’t have me in the office nine to five like they wanted me, but they also knew what they were getting. By being flexible. I knew what I was getting by being flexible. And I was able to do both now the whole years. I worked my butt off.
David Ralph [31:55]
Yeah, but but do you think that you had that approach or you would have had that approach? If you was an employee, it’s only because you’ve now seen the promised land that you had the gumption to go back because I was talking to a lady the other day that there’s two ladies that spring to mind. But one of them was a couple of episodes ago, she was released Katrina padrone, and she’s got a social media company in Denver. And she was doing all the sort of Twitter and the Facebook and all that kind of stuff before she actually decided to leave for this company. And when she handed in a resignation, the boss went, Look, I know what you want to do. I know you want you want to leave. How about we become your client because we still need your skills. And so she left with the client that she got. And she said to me, I didn’t know I could do that. I thought that I just had to leave and that was it. I would leave everything behind and have to work from scratch. But the fact that you’re coming from the entrepreneurial background, you’re more open to hustle and be open to discussion. Van say somebody who’s worked for the same company for 10 years and says, Oh, I’d like to be working from home three days a week. And they go, No, you won’t. Okay, fair enough, and just give up on it. Do you? Did you see what I’m saying?
Mike Dilbeck [33:09]
Yes, because I did that 1990 I came from being employed, I’d never been self employed. I had always worked for someone had that reliability, that security, that safety net, all that right, just like the woman you just mentioned. And I again, and I don’t know if maybe I was just so numb to the risk. But back in 1990, I was I don’t remember how old I was 20 something. You know, as a 23 year old, I think I was around that age. I took the risk and left full time employment and I and I too like to drink I did not know this was possible. And it actually because of who I was and who I was for the company I worked for. I was valuable enough to them like she was to her boss that they said, Well, what about this? Now, I didn’t come to them with that. So maybe for your listeners, If you’re seeing that you have this either or conversation, think about what what can I create? What proposal Could I make? That would be a win win? And I could have it all because I don’t think we think that way naturally those voices in our head doesn’t have us think that we don’t see our own value. You know, the woman has been, I think Katrina did not see her own value to her company, to have that thought and propose that he had her boss had to come to her with it. Because I don’t think we see our own value. And, you know, and that’s just our own insecurities, our own lack of confidence, or, you know, we see too much about ourselves. We don’t see what other people see that you can say, Well, I am valuable, and they don’t want to lose me. What can I propose? That would be a win win for everybody. Now, some will be open to it. Some companies are open to that and they have flexibility. I think you’re seeing that more and more. Companies are a lot less rigid than they used to be because they know they have to be to be competitive in the workforce market. But you know, for whatever reason, if they’re kind of the old guard and they are not as flexible, that may not be a possibility, but at least you took the bull by the horns and said, what about this and that you have to make sure and I always have to say this, you have to make sure you do it. Now I say this kind of hypocritical, because I don’t know that I did, I took a risk, I jumped off the ledge, thank God, I landed softly. And I was able to create a consulting agreement with my company that back in 1990. And another one that did the same thing where I was making the same for one year for 12 months, I had an agreement with each one of those companies that gave me the same income that I was making on a monthly basis as when I was selling was I was fully employed by that one company. So I that helped the blow a little bit. Now not everybody’s able to do that and it’s a it’s a much bigger risk. It’s a much bigger ledge to jump off of. And that has me say what I’m about to say is be responsible make you know, don’t do something Stupid to wear especially, you know, I was single, I did not have a family I didn’t have children didn’t have anybody else that dependent on me, my parents didn’t depend on me, you know, it’s a little bit easier relatively to take the risk that I took because I was only responsible for myself. And again, it worked out, thank goodness. But, you know, a lot of people just get so frustrated, they’re so miserable, and they’re, you know, like, I can’t take this anymore, that they make compulsive, irresponsible decisions, especially when other people are dependent on them for their, you know, day to day living, like a family, children. You know, you gotta you gotta look at all that and sometimes that does have us be trapped. But think about and, you know, it may not be something you do today, but you can start this your mind going, how could I create something where I can have it all, I can work from home, or I could, you know, keep it you know, do part time this and part time that, you know, it’s just there’s so many different options out there that if we’re not looking at them They’re not available to us. If we haven’t either or context, we’re not going to look at all those different options.
David Ralph [37:07]
Let’s play some words that really helps people with that big decision making because what we’re talking about is creating a brand new path. And most of us start on paths that we weren’t even planning to do. We just didn’t know any better. So we go for we were
Mike Dilbeck [37:22]
told that that’s where we needed to do.
David Ralph [37:24]
parents tell us this is what you need to do. That’s right. They do. And we we were young, and we were influenced. And so we do that I hold my hand, I did exactly the same. And I ended up working in city of London for about 25 years. Now I look back on it. And I think with all the resources of people doing crazy stuff, fun stuff, then I don’t think anybody needs to do that. As long as they’re aware enough. But this is a great speech about planning your next move. This is Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah Winfrey [37:51]
The way through the challenge is to get still ask yourself what is the next right move, not the About oh I got all of this what is the next right move and then from that space make the next right move and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it because you know your life is bigger than that one moment you know you’re not defined by what somebody says is a failure for you because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [38:22]
So if we take you back to that moment you showed your film and people go Wow, wow, and you just see but your life had changed. When you start to get this feeling of this is bigger than me. How did you not do what Oprah did and go oh, this is too big. This is too big. Did you just do the next step she says and make that decision because once you make that decision, you can then look around Can’t you and go Yeah, that was a good decision or not that wasn’t a good one right? What do I need to do to get on the right path again, and we were not defined by that one decision which holds so many people in interact did I
Mike Dilbeck [38:59]
know it can It’s happened since, you know, it’s let’s look at this particular one you’re talking about back in 2000 actually happened 2007 on into 2008. You know, yes, a demand started getting created, you know, I produced this, I released it and people started coming to me. I get I thought I was just going to go on and do the next big thing that I do. I didn’t know what that was. But that was my safety zone. Even though I was self employed, that was my safety zone. So it’s all relative, right? So you mentioned the microphone. But then, you know, something started still calling out to me, you know, people started saying, Can you come talk to us about this? What about a workshop? What about a workbook? What about writing a book? What about this? What about that we want more, give us more? And I you know, I had to in that moment confront, am I the one to give more. I’m a filmmaker. I did what I knew to do. I’m good. I did what I’m good at all this stuff that people are asking me for. I’ve never written a workbook. I’ve certainly never written a book. I had, you know Speaking that’s what you know. And this is the crazy ironic thing. my undergrad degree is in speech communication. never really used it. I don’t think as far as I mentally knew I was using it. But now I it’s got an ironic that I’m a professional speaker. But, you know, I had been in the, again, I use this word a lot. Context is what drives us or context is what tell us tells our we what we, what tells us what’s possible. And then I had a context of I can’t do that I’m a filmmaker. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to do that. And, but I just really had to, you know, and I didn’t think about this way, but listening to Oprah say what she just said, I did you know, I can see now I did. Whether I knew I was asking this particular question is what’s the next right move? But I think the key word in that phrase is right, what’s the next right move now? What is right for you? Not what your parents have told you is what is right. Not what society has told you is right. Not what maybe you’ve even given into that is right, that you’ve told yourself so many times, but what you know from your soul, and your passion and your gut, and what drives you, you know what is right for you. That is a bold move. And what would you do now, I love what she said, it may not be like leaving your job. It may not be the big, big, big, big move. But what’s the next right move? And then, you know, and you could take the right move today and then tomorrow, you’re in a space to make the next big next right move, or it may not occur six months from now, like okay, you had to put that right move in, that kind of had to like work itself out and sort itself out and, you know, kind of there’s an adjustment period because that was big and you In your world, it was big. But Okay, next, we’re now ready for the next right move. I did that without knowing I was doing it. And I kept just moving myself and having conversations with people. And what do you think about this? And what do you think about that? And it was driving me enough to start asking those questions of people and looking at what that next right right move would be, to where you know, now today, I had not produced a film or video since 2007. And I don’t plan to, I totally made the shift. I took totally took the right next move, and then the right next move, to create and I continue to do that. Now. What’s important, and I’ve mentioned this before, I continuously ongoingly have to confront my own conversation about I’m not big enough for this.
I will tell you a real story a couple of years ago, I knew I was being called to write a book. I was being told I need to write a book. That that was the next big thing that was what was going to put me on the map. Blah, blah, blah, you know, that was the next thing to have this message spread, you know, far and wide, you know, book book book book book, and I don’t relate to myself as an author. I resisted the notion, but I knew that it really was, there’s a lot of truth, then you really have, you know, people want to be able to say, this is author Mike Gill back, which gives you credibility, get you on the talk shows, get your book, you know, and not for an ego really, I mean, granted, that’s part of it, but put you on a much bigger stage in the world for people to hear your message. I knew that was valuable, but I’m like, I don’t want to run a book. And, and I will I, there were moments I would get moved by unlike God, what would it be like to be an author? Like, no, I’m not that person. I see. Mike, was it just fear? It was just fear and fear causes a conversation. You know, this conversation I’m about to mention doesn’t come about without fear. The fear would drive a conversation of I can’t do that. I’m not big enough to do that. Who do I think I am. I’m not somebody that you see on a talk show that’s written a book. I’m just little over A little Mike Dell back. Don’t they know, I’m not that, you know that I would really say that. Like, don’t they know, that’s not me, I can’t do that. But clearly people see us bigger than we see ourselves. And they’re demanding bigger from us than we demand from ourselves many times. But really quickly because I go, this could take too long, but I’ll tell you, I had to confront that. And I was going to run an E book. I’m like, well, I’ll just start with an E book. And like 30 pages, and that’s all I can do. But then I dealt with that I wrote a book proposal. I read it to a friend or you know, send it to a friend. She says, Oh, I have a friend that would like to see this. And long story short, she sent it to her friend at Penguin Books, who happened to just be a publisher, Penguin, Penguin Books that spent the entire next year having really literally sit down in New York City in his office conversations with the publisher of Penguin Books, that never would have happened. Had I continued to honour the conversation that I was having. I’m not big enough. I can can’t do this. I’m not good enough. So I was taking the right next thing I was like breaking through that. Breaking through that continuously breaking through that that fear, that conversation that comes from the fear of not being good enough not being big enough to take the right next big move.
David Ralph [45:17]
Now well, what do you think about this when we talk about this a lot on the show, and I’d be fascinated to see whether you agree or you disagree. But so many people will be going well, I don’t know the next right move. I don’t we seem to feel on Join Up Dots, but you have a body compass. And if you turn one way, and you feel totally comfortable and relaxed, that’s the wrong way. If you turn the other way, and you feel the same, if you go one way and your stomach lurches, because you think, Oh, this is scary. That’s the route you should be going because that’s going to help you grow and take you out of your comfort zone and develop you. What do you think about that body’s compass?
Mike Dilbeck [45:52]
I love it. I’ve never thought about it that way. But I think there’s a lot of truth to it. And I don’t I don’t necessarily know that we’re compartments. lies like that. But it’s a great conversation piece to look at it in a way. It’s a great visual and it’s a great, I guess they call it an analogy or metaphor metaphor to use to really have us think about if we turn this way. Yeah, that’s the safety zone. That’s the full time job. That’s the you know, that’s where I get it. I’m not fulfilled, I’m not happy. I’m not passionate, but it’s a what if I turn this way? And that’s like, that’s when you’re lit up. Like, you’re like, you can’t it’s like, you can’t sleep? because your mind is going like, what about this? What about that? Oh, my gosh, I can do this. Yeah. And then, you know, with that comes a lot of fear, because it you have to bump up against everything that tells you don’t do that. So I you know, I think it’s the search for that direction. It’s funny, we say, what’s my direction in life. But I’ve learned, you know, several years ago, I think I was going through life as there’s this predetermine direction. And it kind of points to what I said earlier. We both said that, you know, society tells us what we can and can’t do and our parents do and culture does and all that but What is the direction we have in life that we’re not paying attention to? That would really be the direction to take our life? And I think that’s the real joy. I think that’s called Living and not surviving. But what is that for you? What me personally? Oh, well, that was it. anybody I know that for your listeners, you know, it was a rhetorical, you know, but what is that for us? You know, what is that direction? I think the true joy in living is to ongoingly check in on what that direction is. And it may be this for now. Like, you know, and we’re never, I think even though we don’t live like this, I think many of us live like, I gotta do this. And I’m stuck with this. And we come from, I know, my parents worked in the same jobs for 30 4050 years. It was not in the thinking, to ever leave that comfort zone, and they weren’t trained and developed and brought up that way. You know, job loyalty was of the utmost importance. And there’s a lot to be said for that, you know, investing in your retirement, you know, and there’s, you know, companies that done a pretty good job of getting you to be loyal. They get you in there and they trap you. Right. But you know, you’re in it. I have no retirement right now. I mean, I’m working on that. But I gave up all that in honour of what drives me and what lights me up. So just encompass
David Ralph [48:17]
just before we played a words of Steve Jobs up. Are you in the right place now? Are you in a transition?
Mike Dilbeck [48:25]
I am in the right place. And I’m still daily, navigating that, but I’m Crystal clear that I’m doing what I’m called to do. I’m and it took me a little while to get there because of all that doubt and fear. I’m Crystal clear that and I don’t mean for this to sound religious, because I knows for some people, they’ll hear it religiously. So I do not say what I’m about to say in a religious context. But I’m clear, this is my calling. Like there was a day that the phone rang and I picked it up and I answered it. This is what I answered it to do. But I didn’t have to and pick up that call, you know, a lot of times we let them go to voicemail and like we never returned that call, like, Nope, that’s, you know, I’m not going to do that. But I, I’m clear that I was put on this planet to do what I do and spread the message that I spread. But I have to that, you know, that doesn’t give you everything. I’m clear about that. But I’m still navigating what that looks like.
David Ralph [49:26]
I think I think that’s brilliant, isn’t it? Because it is, I can see why you say it sounds religious, but I agree with it totally at this point in the moment. This is it. This is it. For me. I just feel like this is everything that has joined up my dots to put me in this position of the host of this show. And at the moment, I don’t want anything else. Now. Three years down the line five years down the line, who knows I might transition into something else. But at the moment it feels that way. It feels like a coding. It feels like this was it. I was told to get these microphones I was told to connect with my Delbeke I was told all these things. And in many ways you look back on it. And you kind of think I don’t remember doing any of this.
Unknown Speaker [50:10]
Mike Dilbeck [50:12]
I look back now, you know, when I first left my full first full time job, and I’m like, What was I thinking? Clearly I was it as a 23 year old given up a full time salary, but thank God I did, you know, but looking back, I’m like, wow, would I do that again? You know, it’s a hypothetical. I have no idea but thank God I had whatever it was the maturity the thinking that what your blah, blah, blah, but I made the decision I made.
David Ralph [50:40]
Well, let’s play some words that really highlight what we’re talking about Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [50:44]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to try trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, you have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [51:19]
Good words, Mike.
Mike Dilbeck [51:21]
So good, right? Oh my gosh. And it’s just so true. And I say this from time to time, there is no inevitable future. Now, for many years, I live like there was I live like there was this predetermined path that I was supposed to be on there was this. The script was already written for my life, and I’m just the player and the play the character. But I realised I did a programme back in 2002 that really had me wake up to the fact of No, I am the scripter of my life. And I get to write the script. And I get to, you know, create the dots, you know, connect the dots where my life is gonna go, but I had no idea. There’s no guarantee you’ll go That way, and there is no inevitable, fixed future for any of us. And some of us, I think, you know, listening to this when you feel so trapped, that we feel like it’s inevitable, we feel like we don’t have a say, we feel like there’s nothing that we can do about it, where there’s that level of entrapment. But what I would say, and I know this sounds simpler than it is easy, but you are the author of your life, and you have everything to say about how your life goes. And once you can get that, then there’s a whole blank white canvas for you to create the art called your life.
David Ralph [52:40]
It would be fascinating, and you’re not the first person to say that about the kind of nerve but directors car but it will be very interesting to see you laying on your deathbed and I bring in two DVD players, and one is the highlight of the life you lead. And the other one is the highlight of the life you’d let go somehow and that that would be that would be amazing. Wouldn’t it
Mike Dilbeck [53:01]
wouldn’t be going up. We want to die that way with that kind of regret, like, wow, I could have done that unless your life went much better. If you would have chosen the life you actually live versus what you let go. But yeah, I’m just yeah, that’s something that I never thought about it in that regard. But it’s just you know, and I don’t know that I’ll be this, but I’m really committed to living life without regret. And, you know, I just the question, What if just dance me? Like what if I would have done that? What if this would have been differently? And we don’t know it’s all hypothetical. But just make that right. Next right move, as Oprah says, to have the life you want to have right now, you know, as we’ve already pointed to, we don’t know if it will look like this five years from now. And I do want to say this to David. I think it’s important for your listeners to get and I think you will agree with me doing what you do with technology. And with so many inventions and different evolving, things that have come out in the world today, what to make the difference you want to make whatever that looks like, is so much more possible today than it was even 10 years ago. You know, for me to do what I do and to create, you know what I do on the web and for you to do the podcast that you do, you know, what it would have taken 10 years ago to do a podcast and probably I don’t know, if 10 years ago, there were podcast was even, you know, as known as it is today. But there’s so much more available, you know, blogging, oh my gosh, anybody can blog for free now. And people have determined and ever developed a life like a living literally a monetary living by starting out as a blogger and there’s millions of bloggers but for whatever they reason they stuck out and tapped into a niche and tapped into a need that just starting out as a blogger ended up having them leave their jobs and that being their full time life now, but that wasn’t available years ago. will be available five or 10 years from now.
David Ralph [55:02]
Yeah, I do think it’s amazing. I remember when I was about 20, I used to be doing a job and people said to me, You should be on radio, why don’t you be on radio, and I sort of wrote some letters to the radio stations and got knocked back. And it’s never going to happen. Now I look at this, and I think I’ve created my own radio station. Really, you really are. And it’s a global one. It’s not just in that local area, but radio stations broadcast. So there’s literally only your inactivity and your lack of vision to hold you back now, isn’t it?
Mike Dilbeck [55:34]
Yes, and I was talking to a fellow speaker yesterday was one of my confidence and even mentors at times, you know, and how much and I brought together a mastermind of 10 other professional speakers a couple of weeks ago here at my house to just spend a day and so much on more than one occasion, like on several different occasions. Some variation of this showed up in people’s conversation. I need to get myself out of the way And if you just think about that, how true that is, we are in our own way. Whatever we would represent are the conversations we have about ourselves, you know, what we think is possible and not possible. The context that we live through the filters that we look at life through know, what glasses are you looking at life through right now? What does that prescription that lens? And what if you took those off and put on a more clear pair of glasses? I mean, of course, I’m not talking about literally because some of us need glasses. But you know, what lens Are you looking at life through? Or is it the lens of I can or I can’t. And just getting ourselves and those thoughts and that fear out of the way what would be possible. It was really amazing to me how many times that phrase came up in a day long conversation amongst 10 entrepreneurs, speakers, you know, people that deal with this on a day to day basis. So much we’re in our own way.
David Ralph [57:00]
He’s fascinating, really. And I know from experience and conversation, but we’re not just talking about people that haven’t started. We’re talking about the guys right at the top. They they’re still getting in their own way.
Mike Dilbeck [57:12]
Yes. Oh my gosh, yes, yes, yes. This manifesto that I’m just finishing, I’ve been trying to finish four months. And I realised, you know, there was this daunting mountain in front of me called that Manifesto. And I’m like, Oh, my God, you know, it’s like, what it’s going to take to climb that mountain. And once I just sat down, this is what’s crazy. This is I’m crazy. You know, I thought, okay, I’ll just shoot for about 5000 words. If I can just get 5000 words. It’ll be a good, you know, going back to that small thinking. And I sat down and started writing you know, over the course of a few days, I actually went to a retreat house and secluded myself and creative block time that I call it I learned that from Brendan Bouchard, but I wrote in one week’s time 13,000 words and that is now my minute. Festo that’s about to go to publish. And I’m like, wow, I just conquered the mountain. And that’s pretty easy, actually inspired me. You know, and there’s also other things, you know, there’s things that are sitting around on my desk, whether it’s paying a bill, or making, you know, returning that phone call that I don’t know, for what reason seemed like mountains like Oh, god, oh, there have to do that again. And it’s set there. It’s, you know, there’s emails in our inbox is that for whatever reason had been there for dick, excuse me days, if not weeks. And I don’t think allow yourself I know, this is kind of a small thing, you know, for your listeners. But sometimes it’s like doing the small things and getting the experience in order to tackle the big things. And I talked about this as far as showing courageous leadership as well as if we are willing to do the small things holding the door open for somebody, or if it’s returning an email in your inbox or if it’s paying a bill that you’ve been putting off or doing this or you know, even cleaning your house. You know what you have no idea what’s available. On the other side of tackling that, the experience you have of yourself. And it probably in some ways could refer back to what Oprah said, You don’t know what’s available by tackling the fear of that right next move, and who you get to be and how much bigger and more powerful you get to experience yourself as to now take the right next move. Because we don’t we have no idea. We have no idea there is no inevitable future, but will never experience that future if we don’t make the moves there are to make right now.
David Ralph [59:34]
Absolutely. So just before I send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic, I suppose the last question is, do you think everybody out there over listeners that have been hanging on every word? Do you think that they can really get the kick ass life that they want? Is it purely down to them
Mike Dilbeck [59:51]
100% we are responsible for our own life. It’s not it’s very uncommon. Really, it’s very, it’s pretty extraordinary to be someone who can live their life, free from circumstances. Now we have circumstances. And we have people saying what they say. And we have things that happen, things that go well, things that don’t go well. And we many of us live life at the effect of all of that. But it’s an extraordinary distinct life, a way of living, to get and really know and live by the truth that we are the authors of our life. We are responsible for everything that shows up where the responsible for every decision we make, we are responsible for what we take on in life. So I believe Yes, we are 100% responsible for everything there. You know, and if you ever find yourself saying I can’t do that, because that whole word because because my my husband won’t let me my wife won’t let me my partner won’t let me or because this is a full time paying job because because you’re the victim to that. I know people hate that V word, but And feel we have 100% say over our life, we’re the victim to something. Now this
David Ralph [1:01:05]
is a part of the show when we send you back in time. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young MC, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme and when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic
Unknown Speaker [1:01:28]
with the best of the show.
Mike Dilbeck [1:01:43]
Hello, Mikey, I want to call you Mikey because you’re the five year old version of me. I’m now Mike. Some people will even say Michael because that sounds older. I’m now 50. So I’m going to speak to you as the five year old Mike and I want to share just a few Things just I mean, I could I could speak forever to you. And, you know, just to sit down and said, This is what I want you to know. Because I think you’re at an age that many decisions are made. And you don’t even know that you’re making decisions, you don’t even know that you’re saying things to yourself that will very likely determine how the rest of your life goes. And not that you could ever change those or you know, revise those but we make decisions, you will make decisions at five years old. So here’s what I will tell you and that’s to continue to follow your compass continue to tap into what you know is right and as Oprah says, what that next right move will be and you will spend the next 9500 hundred 10 years of your life determining what that next right move is. And when you come to that point where you know something’s not right, and you’re trapped in a job or you’re not fulfilled, you’re not waking up, you know, wanting to wake up in you know, are you and you’re waking up thinking when do I get to go to bed again, or your Waking up thinking, Oh, I got that meeting to survive at work this morning or I’m going to survive traffic even getting there. There’s any kind of survival Mikey please keep a radar on for that. And it’ll be easy to get entrapped by that survival. That’ll be the natural inclination and the natural pool but just be sensitive to that and say this is not the way I’m committed to living my life. What is my calling? What is demanding me what why am I put on this planet? And then make the next right move to bring yourself towards that. And there’ll be a lot of people Mikey that will tell you not to do that. There’ll be a lot of disagreement that that’s what you should do. There’ll be a lot of people that think they know what’s best for you. And they do it out of love. But they’re really the naysayers to what is really what you’re put on this planet for. So Mikey determined, you know you’re the author of your life. You be that don’t let anyone else write the script. And there’ll be a lot of risk. There’ll be a lot of fear. There’ll be a lot of, you can’t, I can’t do that I’m not good enough for that. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good looking enough. I’m not this, I’m not that I’m not thin enough. And even as a man, you will have those conversations, you’ll never say them out loud. And you might, but those are the things that will keep you trapped. And it’ll keep you from making the next right move. And some things will work and some things won’t, you will fail and you will succeed. But don’t let it just remember this. And it’s the last final thing I’m going to say to you, as the five year old me is just because you fail doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You will fail. If you’re playing a big ass game in life, you will fail if you’re playing a small game. If you’re playing the game of tennis and you play with another five year old, you most likely will win if you’re a little bit better than that five year old. If you’re playing with Serena Williams, you’re gonna fail But you’re going to be a bigger, better person, you’re going to cause yourself to be bigger than you know yourself to be by playing in a bigger game. So Mikey, go out there and play the big game called life and know that you’re going to fail, but you’re never, ever a failure.
David Ralph [1:05:19]
Mike, how can our audience connect with you, sir?
Mike Dilbeck [1:05:23]
You can certainly go to I have two different websites. I have a very personal website that’s more about me personally, and what I do on a personal level as far as speaking and that’s my name, Mike Dillard back and.com. If they’re interested in response ability, the revolution for courageous leadership, which is everything we talked about the beginning about standing up, stepping in and speaking out for what’s right. And that you can go to I am courageous leadership.com. And I would encourage everybody to click on the orange tab at the top that says creed and allow yourself to be moved and inspired by the creed and to join us in this revolution. It’s free, you get a lot of resources that are free. The individually empower, you can certainly follow us on Twitter at response ability, two words, but put together as one. And on Facebook, it’s the same response ability, you can follow our page there. And you can email me at Mike at are a project.org. Or you can just contact me through the website. We will have over links on the show notes. Mike Dilbeck, thank you so much for spending time with us today, joining up those dots. And please
David Ralph [1:06:24]
come back again, when you have to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Mr. Mike Dilbeck. Thank you so much. Thank you.
David doesn’t want you to become a fated version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.