Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Linda F Williams
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Introducing Linda F Williams
Linda F Williams is today’s guest, who is a lady who has had many careers in her life, so it will be of great interest to discover if she feels what she is doing now is THE thing.
The thing that she was always meant to do.
Born in East Chicago Heights, Illinois she was reared in rural Hart Michigan.
After beginning college at Eastern Michigan University, she returned to her roots in Chicago where she began a federal career with the department of Housing and Urban Development.
And then it seems strange to see it from an outsiders point of view, but it was during this time that she became a protégé of Grammy Winning Songwriter and Arranger, Eugen Record and had three releases under the name the Chilites.
But her life has been one of contrast as away from the glamour of musical output, she has for 35 years worked in civilian government service, seven years as a labor leader, and as a national negotiator.
How The Dots Joined Up For Linda
She is a lady that knows how to get her point across and can make a difference for so many.
And now with her best selling book “Whose Apple Is It Anyway” and her Empowerment Center, she is helping the world to find their the purpose in life.
In the book she tells in her own unique voice, a story of emotional and physical abuse, rape, divorce and a 17-year marriage to a man who was later convicted as a sexual predator.
So she certainly has a history that will resonate with so many people who have endured similar tales of distress and woe.
But its with a force of character that ties it all together and gives the whole platform a central focus, that our guest has got to show her true strength.
The programme is stronger because of who she is and now what she is.
So why did she for so many years appear to be driven and in control of her business life, but pushed around in her personal life?
And would she go back and change anything, or is this just a part of what has made her who she is today?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start Joining Up Dots with the one and only Linda F Williams
During the show we discussed weighty topics with Linda F Williams such as:
How her Sister and her Mother both told her that she needed to put pen to paper and write a book before she listened and started placing words on the page.
How it took her twenty four years to realise the musical talents that she had found herself in the midst off, and her jaw hasn’t stopped dropping since.
How you accomplish things in your life more readily when you have something to push against. We move away from the pain and become something greater.
How she found herself one night shoeless, knowing that it was killed or be killed time, and started taking control of her life.
How we all have the answers to life in our gut, but we more often than not ignore the signals and carry on regardless.
How To Connect With Linda F Williams
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Linda F Williams Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello there. How are you? Hope you’re all right, this is Episode 297. of Join Up Dots. And as we mentioned on yesterday’s show, this isn’t a big plug. But I have been getting a bits of feedback coming through to me already about how change your life elite coaching if you want more information about the programme that we’ve set up to actually inspire you all to greatness, please go over to the website, Join Up Dots where all the shows are located. And just go on that page and it will give you more information but hopefully, we’re going to find the people that we want Take forward to the dream life. And today’s guest is a lady who’s had. Well she’s got the dream live and she’s had many parts to her life as well. So it’d be of great interest to discover if she feels what she’s doing now is the birth being the thing that she was always meant to do. Born in East Chicago heights, Illinois, she was reared in rural heart Michigan, and after beginning college at Eastern Michigan University, she returned to her roots in Chicago, where she became a federal career with the Department of Housing and Urban Development. And many it seems strange to see it from an outsider’s point of view, but it was during this time that she became a prodigy of Grammy winning songwriter and arranger Eugene record and had three releases under the name of shy let’s, but her life has been one of contrast is away from the glamour of musical output. She’s had the 35 years worked in civilian government service, seven years as a Labour leader, and as a national negotiator. She’s a lady but knows how to get a point across and can make a difference for so many and now we bestselling book whose Apple is it anyway, and her empowerment centre, she’s helping the world to find their purpose in life. Now in the book, she tells in her own unique voice, a story of emotional and physical abuse, rape, divorce, and a 17 year marriage to a man who was later convicted as a sexual predator, very open, honest pages. So she certainly has a story that will resonate with so many people who have endured similar towns of distress and Whoa, but it’s with a force of character that ties it all together and gives the whole platform a central focus. But our guest has got to show her true strength. The programme is stronger because of who she is. And now what she is. So why does she for so many years appear to be driven and in control of her business life, but pushed around in her personal life? And what she go back and change anything? Or is this just a part of what has made her who she is today? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up thoughts with the one and only Linda Williams. How are you Linda?
Linda F Williams [2:56]
I’m fine. How are you this morning.
David Ralph [2:58]
I’m very well. Indeed, I’m looking forward to recording a lovely show with you. And I need there’s a couple of questions I need to get straight to. And now I think they’re big questions. You might find them deeply personal questions. But the first one is, what’s the f4? In the name? I’ve been looking for it everywhere. But what’s what’s the Linda F. Williams? What does epstein barr
Linda F Williams [3:19]
that’s my mother’s name, Francis.
David Ralph [3:22]
And do you spell Francis with an E or an i? Within e? Oh, that’s my mom’s name. And my, my, my youngest daughter is Ashley Francis, because of my mom. So we’ve got we’ve got an A connection.
Linda F Williams [3:34]
There you go. Already.
David Ralph [3:35]
Already. We’re rocking and rolling. So the other question is, and we are obviously going to build up to this but it’s a good point to start with. is now your thing. Is it the thing that you was put on earth to do? Do you feel?
Linda F Williams [3:50]
Absolutely, absolutely. It took a long time to get here. I didn’t always know it. I’ve learned that destiny Does it always look the way you think it will? And I’m quite sure it have absolutely no question internally, that I’m in my purpose now. And
David Ralph [4:12]
how do you know that we’re cutting to the chase on this show? But how do you know because that is something that we talk a lot about on the show, find your purpose, find your passion, find the thing that’s most authentic to you. But how do you know that there’s not going to be something around the corner that is going to be even better?
Linda F Williams [4:29]
You never know that. That’s the thing. That’s the excitement about destiny. And the fact that the turns in your life, the traumas, the disappointments, the hurts that generally change who we truly are, I talk about our true selves, the person that we were born as before, like twisted us up. Once like twists you up, you kind of get off your path of purpose because even though Say for instance, in the case of child abuse, these children experience trauma so deep at a developmental level, where they’re not able equipped in any way to deal with it. What we find is that our souls and our human minds will do what’s necessary for us to cope. But unless we’re developed, mentally prepared for that, David, what we do is come up with these coping strategies that will work to get us through them. But when we carry those into our adult lives, and they become really maladaptive, they kind of twist us out of who we truly are. Now, you never know when someone around the width around the corner, you might find another new opportunity, you might encounter something that just resonates within your soul. That Okay, this is me, this is for me, but you can’t see into the future. So all you can do is really just take a step at a time where you are a lot of the accomplishments that you mentioned. The introduction, were just my stumbling through life as a young 20 year old girl, totally clueless, and stumbled into parts of my life that prepared me for where I am now. So it’s been a journey. You never know when around the corner, you might run into another opportunity. But there are definitely ways that you can know or feel out what you’re here for.
David Ralph [6:25]
And do you think about is a problem with life? Generally, Linda, that people don’t accept that. You may. Anyone who’s gone out there didn’t have the answers to begin with is the stumbles it’s just getting out there and trying different things. When you have people that are in jobs, but they don’t like the order in situations that they don’t like. More often than not, they look around and they will see somebody that they admire and kind of think that laid. They had all the answers. They had the talent. They had the breaks that they didn’t have, but nobody’s got that have a it is simply stumbles all the time.
Linda F Williams [7:00]
Absolutely it even in my own family I recently when my mother, she’s 88 now had a stroke. And that really brought my sister and myself together and we started to talk over a period of months. And she thought I had it all together. Now this is my sister. You cannot look at people from the outside. You know, the clue in the goal to that whole thing is the backstory, the backstory, that’s what we miss. And you can really never look at someone else. Okay, that’s fine. Look at him and admire him, okay? But nobody’s get you cannot blueprint, someone else’s life into yours. You’re going to be off track and all focus. And that person may be totally miserable inside, but you may never know that looking from the outside, in. You have to know the backstory, the whole key to where you are, who you are and where your supposed to go resides within you. it resides within you. What things are there that get you up in arms? What social situations social reality? Do? Do you feel a natural bit to want to address? What are your natural abilities and talents and abilities? What do you like to do? Is it drawing? Do you write well? Do you speak well? Do you seem to have a natural ability to motivate people? All of those things are ties to our destinies that we come here. Everybody’s here for purpose. If you’re, if you’re human, and you’re brief, if you have a belly button, you are here for a purpose. And the whole thing about the way life traumas throws us off is that you lose the focus in that the actual talents and abilities you might be so busy trying to cope with life itself, even growing up that you don’t have a connection to That deep internal purpose that you’re here for. That’s the key to realising your purpose and destiny is knowing what you’re here for. And trust me, you already have the natural talents and abilities, you would naturally create it with a character that’s absolutely perfect for what you’re here to do. And you cannot get that you may be inspired by someone else’s backstory. You’re not going to get that from admiring someone that’s good because that inspired you to move forward. The key to the reason you’re here is to key to that happiness and the reality of realising that destiny. Now when we grow up or go through life, we get hurt. We develop these defence mechanisms. I talk about it in the book as if it’s a it’s a hard shell over your soul that you who you are is a hard shell to development to cope in the moment but we carry Those hard shells in that denial and those defences into life. And as we move and grow older, they become maladaptive. And they cut us off from who we are, and everything we have to be David, in order to realise our destinies.
David Ralph [10:17]
Have you ever spoken in church because I had a fit? I had to urge Praise Lord via you, you. You told me have such passion, don’t you? Is that naturally how you do it always? Is that something that you’ve developed? Because I did? I thought I felt inspired by Linda.
Linda F Williams [10:34]
Well, I’m so glad you asked that question, David. You know, even when I was twisted out of my natural self, I had the natural bent. This is another example of how you can tell what your destiny is. Had a natural bit for being able to encourage people show them how to reframe their circumstances. So they look at it in a different way. empower them it that’s a natural thing that I haven’t No, I haven’t ever spoken in church.
David Ralph [10:58]
Well, I think that’s the Please fully go over there. And
Linda F Williams [11:02]
yeah, I’ve got to take you up on that. No, I just had, that’s how I built. That’s one of those things that that I just talked about. That’s one of your natural abilities. Now, I’m going to be honest with just with being real here, right? I used to do that. And every other word was occurs where you have to bleep this bleep that if you got the message at all after you got to bleep and stuff, and that was a lucky deal. But once I began to move into myself, and I was 40 years old, David when I when I said at my dining room table and realised that Wait a minute, Linda, you have turned your back on everything that you were created to be in the interest of protecting yourself from the same thing did you keep going through over and over and over again,
David Ralph [11:52]
and then let’s slow you down baylin because this is a key point, because the tagline of the show is connecting our past to build our futures. And it’s a key message, it comes through all the shows. And you’ve already alluded to it, that the things that we do as small children that we naturally like doing, whether we were drawing or speaking, or whatever, are the things that we should look back on, and they give us an indication to our passions. So if we look back on the things that we we want awards for his children, more often than not, they were the things that we love doing. So we put extra effort into them. And it’s trying to take those bits and build an income to it. Now, you’re, you’re 40 years old, and you suddenly come to this realisation.
Linda F Williams [12:33]
Oh, yeah, yeah,
David Ralph [12:34]
yeah. I don’t wanna be rude. But you’re slightly older than that now, but I think, at 40 years old, you’ve come to this realisation that you had forgotten that essence, you’ve forgotten that key point. Now, that’s not an epiphany. Generally, that is a dawning realisation over a period of time, but it’s something that our listeners are missing. That’s the key to the door. That’s the thing, when the life becomes easy. It becomes simple. And you kind of slap yourself in the head and being why was I doing all those other things? When, when I shouldn’t be doing that. That’s what I was here for. How did that come about for you?
Linda F Williams [13:13]
This? Well, I have to take you back a little bit. This is one of those destiny turns you don’t see. I didn’t ask to be an author. Trust me, David. It was not on my bucket list. To write a book, be an author, be a writer. And one day I got a call on the phone from my sister Susan, and she told me Linda, you’re gonna write a book, but out of blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, Okay, whatever. And I put pen to paper, December 17 2005. And it was seven years of writing this book. Now during writing this book is when I had that epiphany as I grew, and as I shed it decades of pain and trauma. The book moved along at the pace of Which I healed, okay. And it’s through writing this book that I realised that my open heart might my loving people, you know, my weird my heart on my sleeve, or the things that I turned against, for instance, you know, I’m saying that because I was so naive, and I was so open and so free to give love that I went through all the trauma of the rapes that I do the domestic violence and you name it. So what I told myself was, okay, don’t be that person anymore. That person gets you in trouble. That was the epiphany. I realised that all of the things that I was naturally before all the trauma occurred, were everything I needed to be now in order to realise my destiny, but you walk through life, not even realise that your character has been completely morphed
David Ralph [14:57]
so so you will lead to a things that occurred to you Fine you and take you absolutely what
Linda F Williams [15:02]
you what you do is you become the wrong that was done to you. That’s key. The automatic human thing that you do is you become the wrong that was done to you. You internalise it it’s kind of like okay, it’s kind of like your past dead body say dead body strapped to you face to face in hand. Now you got this big body straight, strapped to you face to face and the hand. When you look in the mirror, you see that dead body you think you’re that dead body that dead body represents your past, all the trauma and the pain and the hurt that you went to through. Now this dead body has you have mobilised with respect to your character, your talents, your skill and your ability? Yeah, you can have some success you might do all right is nowhere near what you worked into how well you’re intended to do. But with this body strapped to you, you really believe that you are that wrong. The Rape I endured and took 30 years to talk about, I became that rapist. It’s like in a science fiction movie, if somebody were to throw something at you, and your whole body just opens up and takes it in, then it begins to morph you out of your own character. So I start living my life. Like I was that rape that occurred to me 30 years prior. And not realising that I was I had actually just become the wrong that was done to me.
David Ralph [16:32]
But But isn’t that generally what happens in life anyway, isn’t it we are, you know, no experience is wasted the good things and the bad things and what we see time and time again, Linda is on the Join Up Dots timeline to a man and a woman, the real dark times in their life, when they get far enough away from it by look back and go actually that was the good thing. I couldn’t see it at a time. It was too dark, but it made me who I am. It isn’t that what life is. Isn’t it dark and dark and light and shade in whatever that defines us
Linda F Williams [17:06]
well I would take issue with that because you know in my studies I’m working on my doctorate right now in social work that say you have child and child be both of them had criminal sexual assault. Child a doesn’t experience that assault as devastating Lee as child be so child be the most traumatised because of the way he perceived the event and process that event might be worse off than child a. So really how you leverage that trauma really depends on whether or not you’re able to incorporate that and move forward and leverage that. But at some point, you have to come to a point in your life where you realise that you’re going to stop looking at it as from from a victim mentality and decide that you’re going to leverage it and that’s where the empowerment comes in, David You decide that okay, I had that experience very similar to what you said, How can I leverage that experience going forward in order to make sure that it doesn’t have me on lockdown, but I can move through this not get over it like we do but move through this and be empowered to assist someone else in the same situation. It really depends on how will you leverage that experience?
David Ralph [18:25]
Well, I take your point totally. But I see more often than not on that scenario of the am B child and they were, you know, very dark examples. But But people in their lives who have got something to push away from seem to, to create more success when the people that are quite comfortable and they’ve had nice upbringings and they’ve got nothing to rally against. It seems to be a human trait, but we need to have some kind of pain to really get us going. Otherwise, we just flow we float through life. We float through days and I was that person but years and years ago. years and I found my thing that made me want to move on and change. But did you think that’s not true as well that you need something to push against to start you moving in the direction otherwise you just flow into sort of comfort land.
Linda F Williams [19:14]
I agree with you. And thank you for saying that because when I look back on my life, I everything I’ve ever accomplished has come in the midst of adversity. So what you just said answers a question for me. I thought, okay, so why is it every time I accomplish something, I’m in the midst of the worst adversity? I mean, can I please accomplish something in life please, without having to have that kind of drama going on. So I mean, when I looked at my desk, the pattern I saw, and and so what you say opens up my eyes. I can’t argue with you on that point. If you have never had adversity, that’s where character is built in overcoming. Moving through that kind of pain. It really build character in you. So yeah, I totally agree with your position there. Because
David Ralph [20:04]
I, I look at my own life and I’ve had a lovely life. I really, you know, my wife thinks I better than the most fortunate life ever. I got lovely parents who’ve been together 50 plus years. I’ve never known a divorce from my side of the family. I just really had no dog. And I hear stories when I’m talking to people. And I go, Yeah, when I got to that position, and I was in that car, and I was going to take my own life. And that was the moment I moved on. And I kind of think to myself, and it’s fairly simplistic when I think this but God how have I found myself now Could I have started going earlier if I had something to force me forward? But of course I didn’t have it. I had to naturally find something in my life that made me want to trigger the movement that the passions the the inspiration or whatever to create the life I want. And that’s the problem that the listeners habit, isn’t it? The listeners are in jobs but aren’t too bad. They’re not too good. They’re in relationships. aren’t too bad, they’re not too good. They earn reasonable money. Not too good, not too bad. If you suddenly take that money away from them, they’re going to do something about it. If you suddenly make the conditions worse, you’re going to do something about it. But life is sort of in that floating Limbo land somehow. Do you agree with that?
Linda F Williams [21:18]
And your wife is gorgeous. By the way, I just get that little side note in there. Thank you. But even you, yourself, haven’t read your biography came to a point in your life, David, where you realise, wait a minute, there’s got to be more than this. Am I really doing what I love to do? The difference between a job and a joy is whether or not that job is along your path of purpose in keeping with what you’re here for. And what you described is the comfort level we get. I’m not gonna lie to you. Okay. I’ve been with the federal government for over 35 years, right. I’m pushing paper here, David. I mean, it’s not like I get up and pop out of bed at all. I can’t wait to get to work and help people and I Just love every piece of paper I push not. And as we can see my whole I was off there. So what you’re talking about is where people go through life, they make choices, okay? I’m married now. So I better take this job paying that much because I gotta pay the mortgage and I’ve got to take care of my family. All of that is good stuff. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if it but at some point in your life, whether you get what I’ll describe, you know, just off the cuff as a storybook life like you have had, or whether you been through heck and back. We all have got to come to a point in our lives where we realise Okay, this is all good. I’m good at this. Alright is paying the bills and what you’re describing there is people are out of off of their path of purpose. They’re not really into positions and jobs where they really want up. They’re loving it. You know, my dad told me when I was really young, he said if you get a job that you love to do, you are one blessed person. basically telling me even as a Child, that’s what I needed to seek. Okay, so that’s not the first time I didn’t listen to day. But, but what you’re describing here is everybody does come to a point, David. See, this is all good. I just want to make sure that let me go back. I want to tell the listeners Look, don’t ever sit in your life and think that everything up to that point has been a waste there is no waste whatsoever. Everything you’ve been through everything you’ve been through, can be leveraged even in this very moment. See, Destiny is made by decisions and a moment decisions in the here and now. And you can leverage all of that towards your purpose, your mission and your destiny. So don’t get stuck on remorse because you did that wrong. did that wrong now more Jonas career track, and I’m too dang old to go over here and do this never too old. Guess what? Every Breath You He is testament to the fact that it’s not too late. Every Breath You breathe is testament to the fact that it is not too late. And I want to encourage you, all your listeners, you can leverage everything you’ve been through in this moment, toward purpose, mission and destiny. We don’t want to consider that it’s a waste. Yes, David, there’s some people who are better motivated. Some people have the fortitude to push through those things. I like to think that maybe maybe that we don’t, it would have been great and we all didn’t have to do that. But hey, it is what it is. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong to live you live. You’re very blessed. Never divorce in the family. That’s a beautiful thing. But we I can’t. I want your listeners to be encouraged by your life and realise that they can break the pattern of divorces and their families or whatever the trauma is that runs through the family in this moment. They can choose to break that cycle. And they can leverage that leverage that leverage that in this moment, and be empowered to move forward in their lives.
David Ralph [25:13]
Say I wanted to shout Praise Lord again. At the end, he found your path. I found your path every time. Let’s play some words now, but takes us on to the second stage of our conversation. And this is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [25:24]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [25:51]
Now, the fascinating thing would be self Linda is the fact that you talk about you’ve done 35 years working in government’s service, but You also had sort of aspects I thought to myself, what was her path? So like working with Eugene record, how did that happen? And was that as Jim Carrey saying was that a risk that you took because you love the music? Or was that just an opportunity you took? Because you didn’t like what you were doing?
Linda F Williams [26:17]
Okay now so here we go with I can’t take credit for that. Okay? This what I was a traumatised just come out of domestic violence situation had to run from my life leave the state. I was still in that traumatised state and I was little 22 year old David Look, I had no clue that I wasn’t supposed to dance my happy hiney in Studio A at Universal recording studios. I didn’t even feel I had no club one supposed to do that. So I danced my happy hiney right up in the recording studio. I park in Studio A and I hear this music going on. And I said okay, so what I’m gonna wait I’m gonna wait to You know, they get done. And I’m going to introduce myself to the person that looked like they’re in charge. So they took a little break, I went over to the guy that looked like he was in charge. I reached my hand out at that time. My name was Linda. But let’s say Hello, I’m Linda Butler took his hand. And with the biggest smile, he looked at me and said, Oh, my name is Eugene record. And I hope you didn’t see the look on my face. I’m saying record. Oh, yeah. I said, Is this guy off? Or does he love his craft that much? I still didn’t know who these people were. I didn’t know who these people were. So they didn’t kick me out. I went back the next day. And the next day, it was about a week before I realised it was the shine lights. It was 24 years before I realised that I was in the presence and being tutored by people who were major players in the Chicago music scene. 24 years David. That was a situation I stumbled into. But when I heard that music in that whole atmosphere, and then one day at my typewriter I was at work I’m not gonna lie. I was on my government job. I hammered out this poem because, you know, I used to like to write poetry getting back to your point. I called him up to read it to him. He loved it, right? So I’m waking at two or three o’clock in the morning, about a week or two later by his brother talking about Listen to this. And Eugene had built a whole orchestration around my words, put it on his next album. Now, at the time that I’m doing this, David, it’s just like you say, it’s, I’m just too dumb to know not to do that. It’s similar what what Kerry said, you know, it was like, Okay, if I’d have had enough sense to realise, okay, you can’t just dance up in Universal Studios and walk into Studio A did not have talked myself out of that opportunity.
David Ralph [28:42]
But But how did you get yourself in that opportunity? That’s the thing that I couldn’t quite you obviously you found yourself dancing around. But how did you get get there?
Linda F Williams [28:51]
Well, what happened was, when I was separated from my husband, the guy that was beating me up, I was 18 years old walking around on the university campus. With nothing on my but a night God, I believe I was barefoot. And I didn’t know where to go because it was going to be he was going to kill me or I was going to kill him and I didn’t want to be the one in the who’s guy. And I was just out of my mind. I had had a nervous breakdown. I was clueless, long story short, I wind up in Chicago with my accent, she take care of my two kids. And while I found a job, it was one traumatising situation after another. I was sick all the time. I was in the hospital and one day when I got out of one of those hospital stays. I had met a guy who was a trumpeter. And the took me from the hospital straight into universal recording studio. He had a session and we walked in on Tyrone Davis recording how sweet it is to be loved by you. And the minute I walked in that room with him, I was hooked. And so he knew the guard. I knew the guard even after I broke up with the guy. I used to go see the Gar Well the garden didn’t tell me not to just walk up into recording sessions while they were on so that’s how that happened.
David Ralph [30:06]
And when you look back on that, do you think wow what a fluke or do you just think it’s it’s part of your joining up the dots It was like add up for a reason
Linda F Williams [30:15]
that that wasn’t the line that was my friend. That was a.in my life because I you know, I just never got it. I’m music is in me, let’s say. Let’s say that music is really part of who I am. And I used to love to sing. I used to play the guitar before all the trauma of my marriage. I did all of that. I was in a little singing group not I’m not gonna lie could not sing for example, swearing, but I was in this little singing group. You know what I’m saying? And got all the way away from that in the middle of all the trauma. And that was a dot for me because it really ignited something in me. That was never Actual to who I was. Now, I’m not saying that in that moment, I don’t want your listeners to realise. I’m not saying that in that moment. I looked up as a Oh, here’s a dot, you don’t. Generally you don’t do Oh, here’s a dot. But it’s as you said, it’s when you look back, that you realise that 22 year old clueless, like I told you, I sat right here in this office, and thought about, wait a minute. Who were these people on googling? Oh, my goodness. I mean, these people were to Chicago music What Barry Gordy was to Motown. And I was right in the middle of all of that and clueless, but it’s a dot. It’s a dot, that dot, those dots. those dots are our defining moments in your history. That whether you realise in that moment or not, are key to who you really are.
David Ralph [32:00]
Tony vaes bizarre Bo Linda I imagine that you know, just the fact that you mentioned the songs that we still know 50 years later if you were there I think I would look around the thing hang on these guys are good this this is beyond just a load of people messing around.
Unknown Speaker [32:19]
Did does he?
David Ralph [32:21]
Did you look back on it and think how the hell did I not know that I was with some a listers who are very very good at their game. Just the quality should have shot out.
Linda F Williams [32:30]
Well, my friend Your words are exactly what I thought. But I’m a close 22 year olds, I grew up at back rules. elbridge, Michigan, you know, and and I didn’t hear all those black songs. I wasn’t here and I was in a white location rural. So I didn’t know a sidelight. I’m sorry, I just didn’t know. And you have to realise that. When I came on the scene. It was the early 80s. They had already gone through several breakups. Record had gone off by himself. I didn’t realise till years later than I came back on the scene right when he reconnected with the shy light. So they had had all their big fame. I was off in La La Land while they were having their big fame, and once I realised who I was dealing with, I still wasn’t jaded at all. Wow, bada bada boom, look at me. Because I was just kind of dumb. I was. I was just a clueless 22 year old.
David Ralph [33:29]
But But looking at it now did you? Do you find that it actually gives you a sense of possibilities because you’ve seen the kind of the inner workings of the A listers in the music scene. Does that make you think? Yes,
Linda F Williams [33:42]
absolutely. Absolutely. Oh my goodness. Are you serious? Oh, my goodness. Yes, I must. It took me 30 minutes to get my jaw off the floor. What I did this search and realise who these people were. And every day since David, I had I have been amazed at this opportunity that I had and the things that I learned under the master. You are absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. I mean, I’ve met some major players, Danny leak. I just met larita dayla sirna, who was on the scene back then. And she and I had never met. These are major people that do the sound for Stevie Wonder, Eugene record. Of course, we lost him. Several of the sidelights have passed off, but I embraced that deeply. David, I embraced that deeply. Because I learned from the best.
David Ralph [34:40]
Because there’s a there’s a, there’s a musicality just to the way you speak. It’s Yeah, there’s there’s a there’s a power as I say there’s a passion. If you was a film, you’d be like Dr. Zhivago or something it’d be like majestic a soundtrack soundtrack to your life. Which kind of leads us to what where we are now with the empowerment centre, which is, you know, there’s images of you standing up in front of large crowds with your arms out. And it doesn’t seem like you are saying I’m a star. It’s like you’re saying, I’ve been there. I’ve come through it and you too can. Would that be right?
Linda F Williams [35:24]
There’s something Yeah, there’s something what you see I’m kind of choking up here with that. I’ve kind of chalk it up as I’m trying to pull myself to camp. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Thank you for that because that is my that is my heart. I don’t want to talk to people and talk down to them like David, you know, I got these degrees and I this and I know this and this is what you should do and the fact that it got through to you, that my heart is just to tell people look, I am balls knucklehead number one I’m not afraid to tell you the mistakes I made. But that came with the healing. And I’m so touched that you felt my heart in that picture. Because that’s exactly what it is. I do not want to stand here like I know it all. I want to open my heart and my life to everybody that can draw from it. I want people to know that I’ve been hurt and traumatised, and that by God’s grace, I have incorporated that into who I am. And he has been graceful enough to walk me through to be able to leverage that in my heart is to just be open and transparent date until you forgive and that is the power
David Ralph [36:44]
isn’t it that that is your your, that is your authentic self. You’re being so open, you’re being so genuine. But it’s, it transcends other platforms I’ve seen because you have got the backstory and as we said right at the very beginning The backstory that brings the power is the experiences. That means that you can resonate with people because we all have different experiences. But somebody like yourself that has been through so much, can then reach out and help so much as well calmly.
Linda F Williams [37:14]
That is how you leverage it, my friend. That’s how you leverage it. And you leverage it at every firstname.lastname@example.org your life, because we can’t wait to be able to go back and connect all wait a minute this and Oh, wait a minute that and now that I look back it, you can look back like that. But you have to be able to. In other words, in my book, there’s a phrase that says if you can’t face it, God can’t fix it. And you know that you are moving toward healing when you can open your mouth and talk about the trauma that takes a lot of healing and that takes a lot of courage. And that’s what I’m here for. And
David Ralph [37:56]
is that scary that that that realisation that you’ve really got to learn yourself be as open as possible or is that liberating?
Linda F Williams [38:04]
It’s liberating and it comes with the healing. And it can be scary at first because we’ve been on lockdown and trying to not deal with stuff because we feel like we can’t really handle that right now. Let me get on with life. I gotta do this. I got to do that. As you heal, it becomes easier. It really does. And for me, it’s not scary because I’ve been through the scary part now already. For me. It’s all about the Hey, Linda, don’t take yourself so seriously. You woke up and smell the dog gone coffee. Finally two pots almost empty, but you did smell the coffee. And now, I don’t have anything to hide. I just don’t. I just love people so much, David, you really touched me deeply when you said that you felt that?
David Ralph [38:48]
I think he’s clear. Just Just the images I’ve seen researching you. I think it’s clear that you’re a lady you saying, as I say, Hey, I’m here. I’m here. I’ve got a backstory. And if I can help, I can help. Which which seems so powerful through your book, which I read the reviews of the book. I haven’t read it myself. But I read the reviews and people once again with touched by the strength of your words. I’m interesting though there is a backstory again to why it’s called whose Apple Is It Anyway? What is the story behind that?
Linda F Williams [39:21]
Well, I wrote for five years before I finally hired a coach, and Nancy Pesci, who wrote the sensory smart child and she worked with the guy on the men are from Mars, women are from Venus theories and she got a
David Ralph [39:37]
rise in it.
Linda F Williams [39:39]
Yes. And she gets up, she calls a lot of money. So I paid 30 for 30 minutes session, and I’ve been putting it what she said since then, and at that point, she said you got to shorten the title of the book, Linda, you have got to figure out some kind of catchy something blah, blah, blah. She said, Just think about it. Research it. So as I was researching this, I ran across this story about Buddha where he was sitting under the tree what is begging basket? Some Joker I imagine was an older man came over them with the remit, Mr. Bob anata. You listen you that your beggar and you need to do that to get out and get a job. And Buddha never was touched by. And he looked up at the guy and the guy looked at him and it got angry and angry in the karma Buddha works. And so guy just finally said, Why are you sitting there like that? Don’t you dare anything I’m saying, did you hear what I called you? And Buddha looked up at him very calmly, and he’s reached his basket and handed them an apple. He said, Now, if I give you this apple and you refuse to take it, then whose Apple is it? You give me insults and into Windows and fight and I refuse to take it so that’s yours, not mine. And he went back to doing what he was doing. And that’s what it came down to whose Apple is it. We have a choice life. You get dealt a set of cards in life, but you know, you have to control over how you play those bad films. And I realised the net that it tied to the Adam and Eve story with the apple. So my whole theme is around apples and, and, and how the enemy has one note that he’s playing in everybody’s lives. I just thought it was a powerful story to indicate the theme that we’re talking about today that, yeah, people can hand your stuff, they can toss those apples, you know, like Bo Jackson, at your rock. You can duck them like Keanu Reeves and the matrix, and that was empowering to me. So who’s Apple Is It Anyway?
David Ralph [41:39]
And do people understand that concept? Did I come to you and go, I Linda, as soon as I read that I knew exactly what you meant, or did I go up?
Linda F Williams [41:46]
Yes, they do. They do. Yes, they do. I’ve got my ex husband so nice. Who would read in the book and she she’s um, she’s not really into church, the I’m not a religious person. I love the Lord. I have personal relationship. him, but I’m not into all the religiosity and neither is she. And she wrote me on Facebook and said, Linda, I have never seen anybody break this down. So simply and so understandably, she said, I told my mother the story about Buddha and the apple, and she got it. She said it, her eyes were completely open. So it’s not a difficult concept to get. And as the theme moves through my life and the story, people will see it, it’ll be like forehead, slapping moments all the way through.
David Ralph [42:30]
And let’s play some words about how you have moved on. This is something that I’ve been throwing into the show, and Oprah Winfrey said it recently. And it’s about that moment when you come up with a realisation of where your life should be and what you want for your life, but you can’t work out how to get going on it.
Unknown Speaker [42:48]
This is Oprah. The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about Oh, At all of this, what is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you, because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [43:21]
So do you think as Oprah saying that the world feels like they are defined by the next decision, but actually, there’s another decision after it and another one after that and it’s how you decide what to do not that the next one is going to be the big one.
Linda F Williams [43:37]
Boy, she hit the nail on the head. what she’s talking about is focused David, in that middle of the mess, she’s talking about focus because stolen focus, stolen, vision, stolen vision, stolen purpose, stolen purpose, stolen destiny, and what she say it is that you are not the wrong that was done to you You are still who God created you to be. And she’s saying that in that moment when all hell is breaking loose all around you just sit, get still. And listen, because there’s a way out of that mess that you can’t see in that moment. Yes, I totally agree with her. And many of the moment says, I’ve healed
David Ralph [44:23]
and looking back at your own life, for example, your marriage, which obviously ended badly, would you have been a different person? Now? Would you have looked back and realised that it was time to make a move earlier? Has that all come from experience? Can you see the right move now, which perhaps you couldn’t have done when you were younger?
Linda F Williams [44:44]
hindsight is powerful. hindsight is powerful, David. But I don’t think I do a whole lot of thinking back and saying, Oh, I wish I wouldn’t have done that. I wish I wouldn’t have done this. But that’s all focus. You know, that’s already a done deal. How can I lose? Average the choices that are made. And I the way for me is what I have spent the last nine years since I first started writing the book doing is coming back to who I truly am. So I can’t say that I would have been a diff, I would be a different person today. If it weren’t for that. It’s been a journey back to who I really am. It rather than Okay, I wouldn’t be this person today. If I hadn’t gone through that and have gone through that, look, I made some dumb choices. I’m not going to be mad at everybody in the world because of it. I have to own the choice on me. Now, maybe some of the backlash I didn’t deserve. Like I thought I deserved to be raped 30 years ago, maybe, you know, I really thought I deserved that. And I was ashamed to that. And so by being ashamed of that, I’ve been feeling like I deserved it. Then I became that wrong. So to me, like twisted me out of who I really was. And it’s just things were just Deep by sister when we connected saying, Linda, do you remember how you used to be before you left home? And I didn’t remember. Do you remember when we as a family did that I didn’t remember David. And it was that was part of my healing. Who I used to be I got completely away virtual now I’m moving more toward who I was meant to be. And so now all of these things are becoming powerful. That’s what you’re hearing in my voice. And I personally don’t spend a lot of time on boy that was doing Why did you do that? Because I beat myself up like that for years. And yeah, it’s all about turning it for good. It’s all good, Dave. It’s all good for me right now.
David Ralph [46:39]
Well, you’ve created the empowerment centre. We’re gonna talk about that just before the end of the show. But really the empowerment centre is in you, you you feel that you are actually becoming more powerful by the day but powerful in the good way.
Linda F Williams [46:54]
Yes, yes, absolutely. And I created that for people who have been traumatised and knocked off the path to purpose, to help them to reconnect with who they really are, and move forward in their purpose and mission. So this empowerment centre came as a result of the book. The book came first. And that book is all me, that’s me out and open, and my healing process and everything culminates with that book. And the empowerment centre is something that I’m using for life coaching and, and just just talking to people and encouraging them. We do seminars, I have an organisational side where I help leaders to be empowered to really use a lot of emotional intelligence or Apple to what I call it in the book and and reconnect people with who they really are so that they can move into their destiny. So the job is a joy instead of just a job type of thing. So I everything that I am everything that you hear here on this on this show. It’s all about to making it I have to leverage my life. I don’t want to leave this life, take my last breath. And I haven’t done a dang thing to help other people as a result of the knucklehead decisions I’ve made in life.
David Ralph [48:12]
Now, the million dollar question I suppose is, you wrote the book, and the book LED on to the empowerment centre. Your sister said to you, you should write a book. And yes, when you look back on that, because I find these time and time again, people more often than not get told to write books and they go, Oh, I’m not a writer. I’ve got nothing to say. And the fact that she saw this and if any took seven years to write was fine. A gift that she gave you.
Linda F Williams [48:42]
Yes, my mother had had made the same observation when I was okay. We talked about first marriage when I was on campus, run around barefoot, and then I married and luckily, it turned out to be a sexual predator who just that was not good. Okay. And so while I’m in bed, depressed and Everything, all the lights out, finally answering the phone, I picked up the phone and my mother said, Linda, there are two people in the world from the beginning of time till Jesus comes that have been through what you’ve been through. She said, you’re going to write a book, you’re going to go out on the conference surface. This is not about you. This is about all the people who are going to be free because of what you went through. So that’s Mama. I’m not gonna cuss her out, like I felt like it, who else’s rump is in this fire. This is about me. I just listened and hung up the phone. So it was some years after that, that my sister called me so I knew there was something to it. And I knew there was something to it.
David Ralph [49:35]
But But did you have that imposter syndrome at that time of it? I can’t do this. This is this is me.
Linda F Williams [49:44]
No, not not. I can’t say that. I did that.
David Ralph [49:47]
So as soon as soon as you started writing you, you felt Yes, I’m a writer. I’ve got a story. This is a book that I’m gonna finish.
Linda F Williams [49:54]
Can I be honest with you? I felt like that the Lord was leading me that that was the word of God. I’ve really felt like the desert come to me too many times. And I know my mother doesn’t just call and say those things. So Susan triggered what mama said. And I went in the kitchen, I said, Okay, Lord, You gave me the name of some books on 10 years ago, if you want me to write this book, then you’re gonna have to tell me the name of that. And before I could get that out my mouth, the name that I hadn’t originally had for a book, 10 years before that came right to mind. That was my confirmation. I was apprehensive. I’m not saying it. I left the kitchen and went right to my typewriter. But I knew that that was something that had to be done for whatever reason, and I’d learned the hard way not to fight it. So I made a decision to just put pen to paper and get busy. It wasn’t easy. And yes, there are times people say you should write a book you try to book in your gut, you know, when it’s right when you’re in your gut. I just want to tell your lizard in your gut, you know when it’s right If somebody told you to write a book, 19 years, a doggone goal, and you know, in your gut that that’s exactly what you need to do, then I’m just going to encourage you to I don’t care what it looks like get to write and whatever it is, even if it’s journaling. See, David, we know in our guts when things are right. We know in our in our very gut, that when something’s wrong, and it was ignoring that gut that got me in so much trouble as I grew up, but I’m encouraging your readers that Yeah, okay. So they might say, write a book. You know, okay, that ain’t it. All right. Don’t beat yourself about that. Whatever it is, if it’s painting, writing, talking, encouraging others, just do what you feel like you need to do. Just do it. It’s gonna make a big difference in somebody’s life. And as you do that, it’s going to make a big difference in the lives of others. If I answered your question, you
David Ralph [51:53]
certainly did. And you you lead us perfectly onto the theme of the show, which is the words that Steve Jobs said and he talks about it about trusting your gut your intuition, this is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [52:04]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference
David Ralph [52:39]
could be written about your life that
Linda F Williams [52:44]
you know what he’s talking about there, David is you have to look back, you know, you have to kind of look back at your life. We don’t want you to get stuck there. What Steve is saying here is powerful, in that when you look back over your life If you can connect the dots going back looking backwards, you can’t be stuck in the here and now without the courage to move forward. See our whole lives our destiny. Our direction is determined in here. And now with here and now. decision you have the moment you’re in to make decisions. You have this moment to make a change. You look back at that you leverage it. That’s what Steve’s talking about. Absolutely. It sounds like me.
David Ralph [53:34]
He could have said Linda at the end and we would have also Yeah, absolutely. Spot on. Well, well, what is your we’ve already talked about one of your dots. And did you have a big.in your life? I love asking this question. But you look back and go. Yeah, that was it. That was the moment in my life. That was the defining part. But Linda Francis, she was born
Unknown Speaker [53:57]
Linda F Williams [54:00]
That seven year process of writing this book, yes, that’s it for me. Because it’s not like, okay, I had come through it I had healed up. And now I’m going to write about it. That book was written in the moment as I was healing. And as I was coming back into the person that you you’re speaking with now, that book is my defining moment, because in that book, called my age, my healing my face in a lot of my past, my own in my own part in that what comes in the middle of that book is my absolute destiny. The book is the manifestation of Part of the reason I’m here on Earth. This book is my defining moment.
David Ralph [54:44]
Lovely when it comes together in a single moment like that, isn’t it?
Linda F Williams [54:47]
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, who takes seven years right and the dog on David?
David Ralph [54:56]
Are you watching I don’t know, Dallas, Dallas every afternoon or something when you should Inviting I did think that
Linda F Williams [55:02]
no sir it would it could only progress. See, for instance, when I admitted that 30 year rape, I had been in a slump, I’d come to the computer to write and I just was on lockdown. I just could not write every word that I wrote in that condition felt like words falling like ambles from my mouth. And it was a there were several healing moments that occurred in the process of that book. And that just happened to be seven years that it took for me to peel off one layer of trauma after another layer of trauma after another layer of trauma, and nobody could have told me that okay, Linda, you’re going to have to admit to this rate, and you’re going to have to be able to talk about that rape exactly the way it happened to you. And it took that for somebody to tell me Wait a minute, Linda, what are you talking about? The guy asked me Did you go to the doctor and I it was a forehead slap for me 30 and go to the doctor and then I sit we met go to the doctor. I just looked at him and then I said, Why would I go to the doctor? And tell him I made a stupid mistake like that it had never occurred to me that somebody laying you down in a hotel room inside of my eyes and you tell you’re bleeding would have required you go into the doctor, I was so stuck on Oh, no, I’m not gonna admit I did that, that I really thought that whole thing was my fault, David, for 30 years, I thought that was my fault. I really thought that was my fault, and that I deserved what I got. And this guy looked at me and said, Listen, I didn’t say anything, you write them, but you got to know that that man has to own what he did to you. At some point, he has to own what he did to you. Yes, you made the dumb decision to let him in. But that’s that’s the limit of your responsibility in that. You didn’t know that man was a rapist. You didn’t ask him into your place for him to rape you. So you got to let that go. ahead, David dolger, the type of defining moments that it took for me to be able to finish this book. It’s already yours, my friend and never crossed my mind to go to the doctor because I was stuck on not telling anybody What a dumb decision I made. And that’s what we do. I want your listeners to know, you can’t keep blaming yourself and stuff because whoever did you wrong has to own their own wrong in that. That’s their harvest planet, to reap in their own lives. You can’t become that great. You can’t become that trauma. You can’t drum that wrong that was done to you. You cannot become the wrong that was done to you by Harvard and as if you deserve that you didn’t deserve it.
David Ralph [57:37]
I hope this doesn’t sound trite. But I am so proud of you for going through that process. It must have been so difficult to go through those seven years of opening the wounds and literally painting yourself off, but you did it and the world needs people like you Linda so I hope he doesn’t say shallow but I’m very proud about
Linda F Williams [57:58]
not at all my friend. Thank you.
David Ralph [58:01]
Well, this is the end of the show. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic when you get to go back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger Linda, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fades you up. This is the Sermon on the mic. We go
Unknown Speaker [58:25]
with the best bit
Unknown Speaker [58:27]
of the show.
Linda F Williams [58:42]
Oh, Linda, Linda, Linda, you poor, you precious girl. Don’t you understand that you are already all you need to be to accomplish what God put you here for. I want you to know that. I understand that. You’ve been hurt that you worn your heart on your sleeve, that you’ve been very naive, but what I want to tell you, my dear precious girl, is that you should not turn your back on that. In the interest of protecting yourself from something that was done to you. They are wrong. Yes, I understand you’re naive and you’re tired of hurting, you’re tired of crying. But my dear precious girl, I want you to embrace who you are. Don’t leave this little girl behind as you move through life. Take her with you. Let her grow up. You’re all you need to be to accomplish God’s purpose for you in this earth. Understand as you go forth, you’re just a little 14 year old girl night now. grown up in rural Michigan. You had no socialisation to prepare you for college. For the people you would meet down The line, you don’t understand how to discern the character of people, enough to protect yourself wisely. So what I’m asking you to do is as you move through life and you will encounter many bumps in the road, I want you to take that little girl with you. I want you to realise that she is the culmination of everything you need to be the hardships you’re going to endure down the line. Don’t let them become you. Don’t let them become who you are. Embrace and carry that little girl through with you because guess what? You’re going to have to return to her in order to have any impact on the world the way God intended for you to have. So I know you’re crying. I want you to just come over here and let me hug you, little Linda. Because I want to encourage you that you are enough. You are enough You don’t have to try to bend and twist to what you think everybody needs you to be the power in the truth of who you are. So as you move through life, remember this talk we had with each other, they’re going to be many times down the line where unbeknownst to you, you standing right on a dot. Imagine your life going forward, you have the line where you step forward, you landed on a diet, you’re clueless, but you’re on a diet, and then you moved a little bit further and it was another diet. Now when you look back at that, it’s going to look all askew is going to look all askew like this lines going that way that line going in, what’s that doing there and all of those dots but my friend, I want you to look at the dot you ended up on. And when you look at that, even though you went all around and back and forth, and sometimes to backwards. You landed on the very dot you’re supposed to be on at this moment in your life. Be encouraged my friend. Remember who you are.
David Ralph [1:02:13]
Linda, how can our audience connect with you?
Linda F Williams [1:02:17]
Who’s apple.org that’s w h o s e dot o RG. You can get all my contact information there. If you’re interested in coaching, let me know. There’s plenty of things to do there. There’s the book trailer, whose apple.org
David Ralph [1:02:35]
we’ll have all the links on the show notes. Linda, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Linda, thank you so much.
Linda F Williams [1:02:50]
It’s been an honour.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together in a Amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.