Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Allen Vaysberg
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Introducing Allen Vaysberg
Allen Vaysberg is todays guest joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
He is a man who I knew that I had to have him on Join Up Dots, when I see the quote “Life isn’t searching for perfection — Life IS perfection in itself!” attributed to himself.
Its a really interesting point to make.
Is it about making life as a good as it can be, or is the action taking, faith, belief, whatever you call it that you use to get to that point, that is the real gift that we should savour?
Starting his working career in corporate land, he carved out a successful path for himself in Sales and Marketing and IT co-founding several companies that went onto be worth millions.
Life was good.
How The Dots Joined Up For Allen
He was at the top of his game and literally had everything he could want.
But what happens when that success loses it’s shine?
What happens when the life that you have worked so hard to create starts to look like you have created the wrong one?
Well our guest discovered that in order to live a fulfilled life he needed to pursue his soul’s purpose.
By taking charge of his destiny and following his dreams he finally found peace and felt complete.
And today he inspires individuals to live their essence and assists them in re-calibrating their lives, which he does though many different mediums.
So what was the moment when he knew that it was time to change direction, and how did he go about it?
And was he surrounded by people saying “Man, what are you doing?
You already have it all?”
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Allen Vaysberg
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Allen Vaysberg such as:
How he likens his leap of faith to jumping off the Sears tower in Chicago without a parachute and working it out on the way down.
How he struggles to remember the moment that he told us his wife that he wanted to leave his job, but believes that she would have struggled to truly grasp why.
How he kept hearing a voice in his head “Live Your Essence” and knew that it was time to look deep within.
Why it is so strange that people leave a job that they hate and then go into something very similar as soon as they do.
How he was fascinated by the number of the show which is 303 and equates to the number for balance “6”
How To Connect With Allen Vaysberg
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Allen Vaysberg Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, good morning to you all. How are we? How are we across the world? It seems only three days ago, we had Episode 300 and we’re already on episode 303. And today is going to be a great one. Because we’ve got a podcasting legend on the other end. Yes, he is a man who knows what end of a microphone to speak into. He’s got passion, he’s got story. And he’s got quite good hair as well. I used I’ve had I’ve and he’s kind of gone somewhere in the in the last couple of years. I don’t know what’s happened to that. But he’s a man who I knew that I had to have him on join us. thoughts when I see the quote, life isn’t searching for perfection. Life is perfection in itself attributed to himself is a really interesting point to me. Is it about making life as good as it can be? Always the action taking faith belief, whatever you call it, that you use to get to that point is, is that the real gift that we should savour now starting his working career in corporate land, he carved out a successful path for himself in sales and marketing and it co founding several companies that went on to be worth millions Life was good. He was at the top of his game and literally had everything he could want. But what happens when that success loses its shine what happens when the life that you’ve worked so hard to create start to look like you’ve created the wrong one without gets discovered but in order to live a fulfilled life, he needed to pursue his soul’s purpose by taking charge of his destiny. And following these dreams, he finally found peace and felt complete. And today he inspires individuals to live their essence and assist them in recalibrating their lives, which he does through many different mediums. So what was A moment when he knew that it was time to change direction and how did he go about it? And was he surrounded by people saying, Man Man, what are you doing? You’re going mad you’ve got everything well, he already had it all. But he wanted more. So let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dot with the one and only Mr. Allen Vaysberg. How are you?
Allen Vaysberg [2:20]
I’m doing great. Thank you so much for having me on. David
David Ralph [2:23]
Its lovely to have you on the show. I was very complimentary about your hair, wasn’t it? In 300 shows I’ve never done that I think I might be turning I’m not sure what’s happening about me.
Allen Vaysberg [2:35]
Well and I’m just happy that we’re doing this on audio so I don’t have to worry about what my hair actually looks like right now. I use somebody
David Ralph [2:40]
but when you aren’t on video you let yourself go out and because you look like a person that’s always fully groomed Do you did you slow down as we say in the United Kingdom?
Allen Vaysberg [2:50]
Yeah, I certainly am not always groomed I shave only when I need to and I let my skin rest in the up times.
David Ralph [2:57]
faster way to be I I’ve got To that age now, I always say once you’re married and you’ve been married for 12 years, you’ve already got your lady you don’t have to make the effort and I don’t know if that’s a selling point to my wife, but it is a point isn’t it? Be authentic to yourself and if it feels good, man is good.
Allen Vaysberg [3:14]
And that’s true and being in the corporate world being at the client site every day I had to shave every day so once I quit that role a part of the process that kind of stuck with me is if I don’t have to shave I don’t I don’t blame
David Ralph [3:25]
you. And we’re gonna jump back into that area because it is fascinating but you were in corporate land as we say like so many people and in many regards, you’d cracked it he Life was good for you. You was doing extremely well. Do you remember actually working towards that path and thinking that this is it? This is totally what I want? Or was there always a kind of nagging doubt somewhere in you but actually, this is kind of a job for kudos. This is for what people will think of me but I don’t think it’s really me.
Allen Vaysberg [3:57]
Well, I I had a very good idea that this is not what I wanted to do a long term as I was going through it, which partially, and it sounds ironic, but it partially is the reason why I didn’t achieve as much success in it as I could have achieved. Because if you are a professional, if you love what you do, and if your work inspires you on a daily basis, then you keep driving, and I kept driving only to a certain point until I said, Okay, that’s enough. I need to go and do something I really, really love. Yeah,
David Ralph [4:24]
but that’s what life is, isn’t it? I think most people listening to this show will be doing exactly what you said they go to work because it’s a job. It’s not inspiring. It pays the bills. What made you think that there was something more that you could gain because that is what so many people get, isn’t it?
Allen Vaysberg [4:43]
It is and I always found something within you know, the niche that I carved out, I found something interesting in it. Because if we are put in a position where we don’t really have a choice, we can’t really quit the job at the moment, while you either hate your life all throughout that time or you find something In it, that is inspiring for you, and you focus on that. And that’s your driving light. So I did, and I focused on that until I came, you know, upon a time of, I think, in the middle of 2012, where I just had enough, I was at the height of my financial and personal successes, and I still was miserable and unfulfilled. And that was the turning point when I had to shake somebody’s hand and they would ask me, what do you do for a living? And I would have to say what I do for a living and everything within me, would scream out. No, that’s what you do for a living. That’s not who you are. And you have to live your essence. I kept hearing those words. That’s when I knew it was time for a change. And I walked into my boss’s office and I said, the three months contract, I’m not renewing it. After that. I haven’t worked a day full time in it since.
David Ralph [5:48]
And do you look back at it and go, I could just tap or I could just put my hand in or do you still go No, that’s it. That’s really not my thing anymore.
Allen Vaysberg [5:58]
Well on a full time basis, no I still dabbled, I still do some part time work. And that’s a part of my process when I work with people, because don’t burn the bridge, you’ve spent a large majority of your lifetime building up the financial resources and the bridge that keeps feeding you. There’s no need to burn that. And if you need to go back into it for consulting purposes, or part time purposes, and you have that name, go ahead and do it. And I found myself throughout this process, needing it on occasion. So I don’t have a problem dipping my toe back in. But in terms of full time employment, no, that’s not me.
David Ralph [6:30]
A lot of people would say that bridge Bo is a bad thing. That bridge is the easiest escape route for what they’re trying to do. I hear it more often than not that the people who smashed that bridge to pieces are the ones that ultimately end up doing what they truly want. And they generally will say to me, I think if I if I could have slipped over that bridge I would have done because it’s hard, isn’t it? When when you’re carving out something that is authentically unique to yourself, it’s probably the hardest thing that you’ve ever done.
Allen Vaysberg [7:00]
Yeah, it certainly is the the process that you have to go through is the toughest one. But going back to that bridge point, even though you make that decision, you have to understand that continuing to use that bridge in order to have an effect in your transition. So you can go to where you need to go is not failure. It’s a part of the process. So once I realised that it made me feel a lot better in it, and I started producing a lot more on the new career.
David Ralph [7:27]
Because what we talked about a lot on this show, Alan, we don’t talk about the leap of faith, because I think that leap of faith is too scary for so many people it would would have been too scary for me. So we talked about the slide of faith we talked about right naturally transitioning to a point when you can go right I think I’ve got x amount of pounds or dollars that’s going to pay the bills. I’ve got maybe one or two clients ready to go and Ben Roth, I’ve done it and it’s a kind of slide to bat point. What you always kind of that was yours will a slider Life Oh, oh no,
Allen Vaysberg [8:02]
no mine was jumping out of the Sears Tower without wearing a parachute. In a way I had things already pre planned, you know, we had savings, we didn’t have debt. I had a situation where I didn’t necessarily have to work for a certain part of the time. But does that mean that that’s what my wife had in mind. Now let just dip into our savings. Well, my husband decides what he wants to do with his life. That was not the case. So I didn’t have anything lined up. When I quit, I literally decided to give myself time to figure out exactly what I wanted to do. At this point. I had lots of ideas, I had lots of talents and ambitions that I’ve never allowed myself to try. So I use that time in order to do that. And I went one direction, second direction, third direction for direction until I figured out okay, this is what I want to do for the next step and then I started doing it.
David Ralph [8:56]
Now the interesting part and we are going to come to that the journeys because that’s key. But also the key thing is that you’re, you’re with your wife, you’ve got a job, you’re supporting her, everything’s going well. And you then say, look, I want to throw this all in and go and do a thing, but I don’t even know what I want to do. Now, most wives will go, just lay down and I’m going to put a cold flannel on your head. And then in the morning, you’ll forget all about this. But um, how did that conversation go? Because my I’ve got a wife who is it sounds very much like your wife. She has supported my entrepreneurial journey. But she still doesn’t really understand what I’m supposed to be doing. She kind of supports me as the person but not be the income producing production line, whatever it is that that sort of lights provide support for the family and the kids. So you’re sitting there with your wife, she’s halfway through a favourite programme, you reach over, you get the remote control, you turn it off. She looks at you with astonishment because she was really into that programme. And you say to her, what, how did you bring that up?
Allen Vaysberg [10:05]
I don’t remember the exact moment, I’m sure if I if I could go back in time and actually see myself from the from the perspective of how the conversation actually went, I would love to do that. I don’t remember it exactly. What I do remember is that I told my wife that I walked into my boss’s office, and I said, we’re not renewing. It was a little easier conversation because she had heard for up to a year leading up to that time, how unhappy I was and how much political nonsense was going on, and how things were just not working out and how I was stressed. The all of these things were led up. So when I came to her and I said, Okay, I’m done. And we have enough where I can take some time off and actually decide she took it. I wouldn’t say well, but she didn’t take it.
David Ralph [10:57]
To be honest. Did she get you out? road?
Allen Vaysberg [11:01]
No, no, thankfully No. And that’s good because my wife has taken Taekwondo lessons. So when she was younger, so it could have been scary for me. But she basically said, Look, you know, as long as you have a plan, and as long as you know that you can go back to it, if what you’re trying to do, it does not work out. I’m okay with this lasting for a little while. Well, that’s a little while less that a lot longer than what you anticipated. But it was not as bad. At the very beginning. It certainly got much worse later.
David Ralph [11:30]
And then but she looked at it now obviously, you proved yourself and you’re happy and you’re enjoying life, that she looked at it now as it was the right thing to do you were true to yourself.
Allen Vaysberg [11:42]
She would have liked for me to do it in a different way. She would have liked the transition part to be smoother because my wife is very risk averse. She’s extremely open minded, very supportive, but very risk averse. So she would have preferred the process to be different, but she understands why I did it. It also influenced Her and helped her look at herself and make changes that made her happier. So overall, it was the right thing to do, she just would have done it differently.
David Ralph [12:09]
It is a fascinating thing, though, isn’t it but so many people are in corporate gigs, or they’re in relationships, but they don’t like, but they put up with it. And they will go in and even if the money’s not very good, but that seems to be by the by, they will still put up with it and moan about it all the time. You’re the other side of the fence, you’re financially doing very well for yourself. You’ve got the career that everybody else would be looking at and going, that’s what I want to do. But you still decide is not enough. Was there a part of you kind of going, actually what’s what am i worrying about? What am I worrying about? This is what everybody wants? This is a kind of career but that the majority of people would want when I leave college or university, I’m just going through a phase.
Allen Vaysberg [12:54]
No, because I knew it and again for for the American audience. And for those people. love baseball, there was a movie with Kevin Costner Field of Dreams where he kept on hearing the voice in the back of his mind that said if you build it he will come and that started him on a journey for me I kept hearing live your essence in my mind for a better part of two years, up to 2012 when I finally decided to do something about it, I knew I was not doing what I really am here to do. So for me with all of those successes and with me going out and you know buying a new Audi Q five for cash on my birthday, that was a statement Okay, I’m done with this part. I know I can do it I need to be true to myself and do something else.
David Ralph [13:43]
And this is going to come out like a stupid question but I’m going to say Anyway, it was it wasn’t a proper boys you were hearing it was just kind of a feeling it wasn’t that live your essence was actually booming out in your in your mind.
Allen Vaysberg [13:58]
Well, it was the inner voice That I kept hearing, as you know that we talk to ourselves all the time, and whether it’s subconscious or anything else that we choose to imagine, but there was this feeling that you have to do, what you’re made for and what you’re doing right now, as successful as it is. And as comfortable as it is. It’s driving you nuts and it’s not going in the right direction. You have to make a change,
David Ralph [14:21]
because I understand what you’re saying totally, because I have been through what you’ve gone through and you’re and you’re explaining it very well. But a lot of people out there but listeners, but coming to the show in their thousands will be going these two men had a midlife crisis. And basically they should have sat on a beach for a while, you know, there’s no inner voice, there’s no all that all that stuff. But there is isn’t there if you sit quietly, and we’re going to play some words later, but Oprah Winfrey speaks about this. But if you see closely, most of the route that you should be travelling becomes clear to you but only when you listen to that. A voice. And the problem is somehow from the age of 567, or whatever, that we’re very into intuition, we kind of lose that somehow. And it’s difficult to listen to that voice when you’re an adult, isn’t it?
Allen Vaysberg [15:14]
It is because we’re, we are so used to being bombarded by information from everywhere. And we find ourselves much easier to, to manage our time when we are busy. So we, you know, some people have trouble sleeping, because by the time they go to bed, and they turn everything off, and then that inner voice starts speaking to them, it starts being really uncomfortable. And that’s why meditation practice and other practices of self reflection, if you don’t want to call it meditation, are so necessary because it’s you actually digging into what’s happening on the inside. And that’s how you can tell whether you’re happy or unhappy or what you should do about it.
David Ralph [15:54]
Let’s play the words of Oprah. Now I normally do it later on in the show, but while we’re on this subject, because Is Oprah Winfrey,
Oprah Winfrey [16:01]
the way through the challenge is to get still? and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
Unknown Speaker [16:32]
Pretty spot on in it.
Allen Vaysberg [16:34]
Yeah, very, very well put. Because people in anything, whether we’re talking about jobs, relationships, anything we get worried about the enormity of the task at hand. And that’s not how you accomplish anything. You don’t worry about the Normally, you start with the first step. You started with the first step you continue on from there, and then you realise all of a sudden, oh my god, I have achieved all of these things that I didn’t even imagine. That I could have, this is much greater than I thought I could have done because you’re focusing one step at a time. It’s a sports cliche that’s being used. But it’s used for a reason. You focus you try to be in the moment, you don’t live in the past, you don’t live in the future, you are here in the present. And that is your focus.
David Ralph [17:18]
And it is quite difficult to do that, isn’t it? Because you sound like you’re a bit more like me. I’m very futuristic. In fact, my number one key strength on the Strength Finders 2.0 test is futuristic. So I’m constantly, visibly amazing. This would be brilliant, what we’ve been doing next week, and everything’s in the future. And I very much never reflect on the past. But I have a trouble with being in the present. But the present is the only time that’s going to actually impact the future, isn’t it? That’s the moment when you really got to focus in on what you’re doing.
Allen Vaysberg [17:50]
Exactly. And you’re not the only one. Many people have that trouble, because we’re so focused on results and how do we actually accomplish that, that we forget had to be in the present and do something in order to actually can get there. Being in the present takes time. It takes ability to actually be within yourself and map things out. We have to worry about the future. Some people would argue otherwise you don’t know where you’re going. But if you’re not doing what you should be doing right now, you’re never going to get there anyway.
David Ralph [18:24]
Because I kind of go by the fact that it’s better to not know where you’re going. Now, I think that by not really knowing where you’re going, you are far more flexible to the detours but come up, because you just kind of go round them. And if it looks good, you go left and if it doesn’t look good, you go right and whatever. I think the people that plan step by step by step, when they get to those obstacles. They haven’t got that flexibility and they’re kind of suppressed somehow because they in a head it should have been a straight journey, but it’s not never that isn’t
Allen Vaysberg [18:59]
it? Yeah. It certainly is never a straight journey. And I find it very apropos that the episode number is 303. I dabble in numerology. So when you put the three together, you come up with a six, which is the number of balance. And that really is the answer, talking about how do you see yourself in a future versus not worrying about the future and just focusing on the president, you have to understand where you’re trying to go in general, you have to visualise yourself as who you want to be. And then take the steps that you think will take you there but have flexibility built in because everything changes your jobs change the influence of people around you changes, you have to be flexible, otherwise you will never get there.
David Ralph [19:43]
So So what’s this balance business number six, I’ve never heard this. What’s this about?
Allen Vaysberg [19:48]
Well, numerology basically is a study of numbers and letters. Every letter is assigned a number of representation, and they can tell by birth date or by name. What the traits of the person are what the major lessons of the person are in this particular lifetime. Like astrology numerology is a science of the woowoo, if you wish, but some people follow it. I found that interesting as I was running my business. And I had so many interviews that I was doing and I started studying numerology, I would take a look at the name of the person that I’m interviewing, and I would jot down some thoughts based on numerological principles of who I think they may be. And then I would see if that’s right or not, and much more often than not, it was very, very close to who the people were and what personality traits that were exhibiting.
David Ralph [20:37]
He’s an interesting question because the study of the woowoo as you kind of phrase it, it seems more often than not that people don’t like to say, Yes, I believe in woo woo. But the successful people throw it at me all the time that the universe lined up and do kind of believe that things happen for a reason and it’s called In effect,
Allen Vaysberg [21:01]
well, I would be on the other end of that spectrum because I am very well, one of the paths as we’re talking about those four was me being completely on that end of the spectrum because that is where I feel very comfortable. So absolutely, I believe in that and we’re talking about esoteric and law of attraction or secret of people. I’ve heard of it. Every job that I’ve ever gotten, was through utilising these principles. Before I even knew about the principles. I just knew that that’s the way that works. So we can forget about we’ll look at sports, and I love sports. And that’s why I use sports analogies all the time. You have people talking about being in the zone. Well being in the zone is just another representation of time slows down. They are so focused, and they can see that ball as if it was a beach ball before they hit it. Being in the zone is nothing more than being in the present. It’s all the same esoteric principles that are applied in practical terms in our lives. Why?
David Ralph [22:01]
Because when I when I started this show, I wrote a list of my 10 gets. And obviously Alan, you were number one, you were right at the top. Thank
Allen Vaysberg [22:09]
you very much I appreciate.
David Ralph [22:11]
And I wrote this list of them. And one of them was like jack Canfield, and he’s coming on the show next week. And there was another guy, but I mean discussion with him at the moment. But the interesting thing is, I wrote this list. And I haven’t worked at all towards getting these guys on the show, because it seemed too far, it seemed too much of a stretch to get this kind of calibre people on, and they’re just kind of coming to me now, which I find really fantastically Whoo. But things are just happening around you. And people do say it’s cause and effect and the more you do, the more you’re gonna sort of get those ripples are curving, but it still it blows my mind when things happen, and you kind of think, how did this happen, but it just kind of come to you.
Allen Vaysberg [22:58]
It’s it certainly does. And, you know, to give you a concrete example, just so people don’t think that I’m making this stuff up. When I was in the middle of building my career and for the 10th time I wanted to get out of it. I said, Okay, so I am a business intelligence manager, I know business intelligence, I want to switch out of that into marketing, and I want to be in marketing. The closest thing to me because you obviously are not going to fudge your resume, and you have to make something fit. So the closest thing would be market research. So market research is also using business intelligence. And I said, Okay, even though I have no experience in market research, aside from what I think I know, I choose to find a job that’s going to be paying me six figures, that’s going to have a job title of manager of market research, it’s going to be in Chicago in a location that’s close to me, it’s going to pay me you know, a certain amount of money and I set out my resumes. Now who in the right mind would actually forget hiring but given into you to some Nobody who has no market research experience who wants to be a manager of the department? Normal people would say nobody. But I can tell you that I had interviews and I almost got that job I was the second you know, well, first runner up in this case, in a position of market research manager in a company in Chicago with a salary of 120,000. And I did not get it, I was upset about not getting it. But what it led me was next job in which I was making a tonne more money was able to pay off my debts that led me to my business. So everything happens in the universe for a reason we may believe in it or not, but it happens.
David Ralph [24:36]
I wrote down a I wanted to be the most attractive podcast in the UK and have Katy Perry as my assistant. And to be honest, I’ve only done half of it Alan, only only I won’t tell you what I’ve got. But um, it might it might be Katie or it might be the attractiveness, but one of those things has come true but the other one I’m struggling with,
Allen Vaysberg [24:55]
well, don’t struggle, let it go and it will come to you.
David Ralph [25:00]
But I, hey, I’m gonna go with it. It’s only the assistant that’s it’s just helping with that podcast, nothing more Absolutely, and a nice song every morning it’d be it’d be wonderful, I’ll feel like Snow White, it’d be it’d be perfect in my life. So, so when you deep bass because I want to get back to that moment that you decided that you’re going to go and do your own thing, but you went in four different directions, and you went this direction you went that direction, give give a flavour of what you were going through so that the listeners understand the journey because more often than not, the thing that you ultimately end up doing is not the thing that you first start doing. And the first thing you start doing is a kind of hybrid of what you already know and what you want to do so but what was the first thing that you tried and they invoke now I’m going to change direction,
Allen Vaysberg [25:48]
and you are spot on, you are absolutely spot on. The first thing that I did was I had my IT consulting business and I said, Okay, I’m gonna sell this business to somebody else, that I’m going to go and be a part of a different business. Maybe do a start up, continue working in a much more management consulting capacity instead of doing it go into strategy and helping businesses change. And that’s the area that I went into. And I had some offers on my business, I decided not to go in that direction, which again, led me more inward and saying, what is it that I really, really want to do? And that’s when I sat down. I said, Well, I always loved being an actor. I was an actor when I was young. I never got a chance to be an actor because after immigrating to the United States, my parents didn’t allow me to be an actor, because they actually wanted me to make money and have a career. So I’m going to go and be an actor. And I went and I finished improv. You know, the year of improv course at second city in Chicago, I took acting classes, I audition and I made a movie in which I played a role of a doctor. I did that until I realised that I love this. But this is not something that I choose to do for a living for the next, you know, 2030 years and I will into a different direction and continued on from there until I came back to the place that I always knew I was going to end up. I just didn’t believe in it.
David Ralph [27:09]
And what was that place? You you, you’re a storyteller you lured me in. So what was that place?
Allen Vaysberg [27:15]
And that place was that I am a speaker. I’m a writer. And what I’m here for is inspiring other people to make a change in their life to do what they love doing. They just don’t think that it’s possible and I’m here to help them do that.
David Ralph [27:31]
And did you know this? Because the tagline to our show is connecting our past to build our future. And more often than not, we find that the little Allen the little Allen that’s running around in his back garden is closely linked to the Allen now in in spirit or life force or whatever you called it. Did you always have that in you when you was at school? Would you be the one that would, you know, motivate the masses and inspire people to do better with themselves?
Allen Vaysberg [28:00]
I did. And, you know, it sounds like this is something that’s out of a book or a movie, which hopefully they’ll make, and I’ll be happy to direct it. But I remember a time when I was eight years old, and, you know, I just finished my first grade. This was in the Ukraine, former Soviet Union. And I went to a different part of town, we moved. And I went to a different school and it was fine. But then I came back to visit and they literally and I use literally literally carried me on their shoulders to the school, where there were people waiting and cheering me on because I came back. I am looking at that part of my life thinking that that’s not real. I was imagining that but that actually was real. And I did that because I was always the leader. I was always the one who was helping people or inspiring people. I was writing poetry since I was seven years old. I was that guy. I knew that I was here to be a Speaker I knew that I was here to be a writer. I just didn’t acknowledge those until much later in life.
David Ralph [29:05]
I love always I really love this because when people say find your passion Find your passion and you’re never work again you really do once you’ve heard it 300 times just want to punch him in the face because you think i can’t i don’t know what my passion is. But we do don’t we we do because it’s the thing that we used to love doing. I’ve told this story loads of times Island but I’m going to tell it again because hey, it’s my show. But I found a box of tapes in my mom’s attic. The other day that I used to make a cassette tapes, I don’t have those anymore, but I used to go around and I used to interview people when I was about nine and I used to interview the the baker and the banker. And these proper professionals is shopkeepers allowed me used to come in with my tape recorder and I used to interview them. And when I used to make interview shows, and I listened to it and it was like it was like I opened the door but I should have walked to Through, but I didn’t for some reason, because when I listened back to them the questions I was asking as a nine year old, I thought, Wow, good questions. And you could hear but I just loved it. absolutely loved it. But then when I went through university or college and I come out the upper end, I went into work. It didn’t cross my mind didn’t cross my mind. But hang on. Why am I doing a banking job? I don’t really like when I should be looking at something that really lights me up. And I knew it. It was up in my mum’s loft. In these books with all these tapes, there was the clue. And I’ve had a lot of guests have said to me, they look back and I think this is a good thing for all the listeners. If you look back at the things that you want awards for when you was a kid, there’s a good clue to that because when you’re a kid, the things that you win the awards for the ones that you put the most effort in and the most effort is normally because you love doing it. So if you win awards for drawing or if you win awards for pet care or something, that’s a good clue to what you should be doing because that is touching in on your key essence your your life essence.
Allen Vaysberg [31:01]
It’s very true. And it’s a wonderful story in one when I’m talking to people, and I tell them you do know what you love, you do know why you’re here. The normal answer is no. And the answer is no is because they never look inside anymore. They are so used to getting information from the outside of themselves, be the commercials, their friends, their relatives, everybody else. They don’t look inside. Once you look inside, you know what you are, you know why you’re here. You know, what drives you when we’re talking about the jobs that you want to do what makes your heart sing, forget about the money. And I’m saying that not because I don’t live in the real world, money is very important. But if you do what you love, you will become a professional in it. And money is a natural part of that equation. money will come. When I go on the radio, I tell people something that sounds ridiculous that any profession that you do, you can be a millionaire at and people laugh and they try to give me examples and then they walk them through that path of how you can accomplish that. You Can, it’s not about the money, money is a natural part of doing what you love. And if you really love it, and if you do it, you will get
David Ralph [32:10]
it. That’s interesting how I laughed when you said that because you’re saying that you can be a millionaire and every job, but then humans naturally try to trick you out by saying, Okay, what about I’m cutting poodles for a living? How are you going to become a millionaire? Now? It’s interesting how people will naturally try to discredit that theory, that motivational theory, then actually go Yes, you’re absolutely right. We can. It’s weird why we do that, isn’t it?
Allen Vaysberg [32:37]
Yeah, it is. Because it’s much easier not to think big. It’s much easier to put ourselves in the little box where we’re comfortable, because everybody around us is the same way. So one of the things that you need to do is to get out of that box and surround yourself with people who are actually achieving things who are happy, healthy, wealthy, and doing what they love for a living. Then you see Oh my God, that’s it. different paradigm. If they are doing that, why am I not doing that? And going back to your example of cutting poodles, you can do that because you have one business you can build on top of that business to a second business, you can write a book, you can be an speaker on that, if this is what you love. I know people that make six figures and more doing that. My aunt and uncle opened up a hair salon in Detroit, while that hair salon went into seven hair salons and then a no property full of other salons. So they are millionaires because they started with one salon that was making probably 20 to 30,000 a year. You can do it does that mean that you have to be an entrepreneur in order to Be a Millionaire? In many professions, that is the truth. In many professions, you have to be a little bit more than just somebody who gets a paycheck to be a millionaire. But millionaire is not the point. The point is to make enough money that makes you happy. And for everybody. That’s a different amount. You don’t have to be a millionaire to be happy.
David Ralph [33:59]
This place Words that really bring us up to what we’re talking about at the moment. This is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [34:05]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [34:31]
That’s exactly what you did, wasn’t it?
Allen Vaysberg [34:34]
Yeah, and I love Jim Carrey. I love Jim Carrey for that and for the fact that he wrote himself a check for $20 million. Having no money in his pocket because that’s what he was visualising talk about the esoteric and law of attraction and then he finally got the $20 million check. Point being you have to do what you love. Whether you believe that you have one life to live or there are many lives because you believe in reincarnation. Doesn’t matter. You are here. You have to do what you love. And if you do what you love and know that the universe will bring into you, the things that matter to you, such as finances, right people, relationships, etc.
David Ralph [35:11]
So So what is it then that you do? That’s really because I think we’ve skirted around it. But now, what is the thing that you do? But actually, let’s start with the first question, but you love them.
Allen Vaysberg [35:23]
Well, and that’s a very difficult thing for me because I love so many things. But what I focus on and what is at my heart is helping other people open up their eyes to the possibilities and then actually get them there. So I am what I call myself a recalibration expert. I help people who are stressed out who are unhappy and unfulfilled like I was, and I take them through the process of finding out what they choose to do in their life that makes them sing, and then help them actually do it. So that is what I love doing. I love the satisfaction of helping change people. Life because once you do what you love, everything changes your health improves your relationships, improve other people who look at you and see that you’ve done something that you want that they don’t think is possible, like Jim Carrey’s dad, they will change as well. And by making that small change that affects everything. So that is what I do.
David Ralph [36:23]
I like that phrase recalibration expert. I’ve never heard it before, but
Allen Vaysberg [36:28]
I am. Yeah, I coined it. And so I’m taking full credit because I invented it.
David Ralph [36:32]
Well, you should have it as well. But I think in many ways, we’re very similar because I’ve always had that naturally. If I was in a pub, talking to people, I would naturally be able to see the thing that they should be doing, and inspire them to do. And that’s actually the reason why I quit my corporate gig. But I was having this conversation with a chat. And when I sat down I thought, Oh, my God, how many times have I said this to people, but I’m not actually doing it myself. I But doing a job that I’d lost my mojo and it wasn’t interesting me anymore. But I was still saying to people, what you should be doing is doing this and doing that. And by doing this and doing that, you’d be able to do this and it’d be amazing and brilliant and more often not they go, you’re right. And I’d go off and do it. And then I’d meet up with Amber three months later, and I go, that’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me that conversation, but then I wasn’t doing it myself. And you need to basically learn what you’re teaching, don’t you?
Allen Vaysberg [37:27]
Yeah. And that’s, that’s the most exciting part of all, because every client that I work with, I noticed myself say things to them that I then look at from the side and think, thanks for your own advice. Why don’t we actually do that too? Yeah. I find that all the time I talked to my daughter, I have a 10 year old daughter and five year old son. And when I’m trying to explain something to my daughter, the words that come out of my mouth are exactly the right things that I need to hear from my own life at this point in time. So that is the most exciting and rewarding part. In addition to helping people is you’re growing along with every single thing that goes through
David Ralph [38:05]
is a weird thing, isn’t it when when you’re supposed to, we’re talking about that we’re talking about being in the flow. And that’s something that keeps coming up time and time again. And it’s when you really your brain is working on a different level, and you become a vehicle, I suppose. And words are coming out of you. And I used to be a public speaker, and I used to stand up during training courses. And sometimes I was just like, just flowing and it was just coming out of my mouth. And I could almost split my personality and be listening to myself talking, thinking, I don’t remember ever thinking these beings, how is my mouth saying them? This is where’s where’s this coming from? And I used to love that moment where it was like split personality time and I actually almost sat in the room with the audience watching myself saying these things because I’d never thought of them. But they must have been in me somewhere because I started channelling out my mouth.
Allen Vaysberg [38:59]
Oh, and Using a key word so everybody that doesn’t believe in wall is going to think I’m crazy right now. But you are channelling and you’re channelling information that comes through you from the universe. And I can understand that moment. So clearly because I just had that yesterday. I had actually no today’s today’s Thursday, it was Tuesday, I was giving a speech at DePaul University, one of the universities in Chicagoland area about career change. And I am a little nervous before every speech even though I’ve been doing this for 15 years, I’m a little nervous before I start speaking, I don’t know why that’s just my process and my body that goes through it. And I all of a sudden start speaking and it’s flowing. And I’m, I have that split personality, if you will, of I’m looking at myself from the side saying, Who are you? This is not what I was thinking about starting to say and it’s just flowing. It’s going, I would speak to people and I would start quoting the Bible, and I don’t read the Bible. I haven’t read the Bible since I was a child. Or I would give an example. So Somebody asked me on the radio, what I would recommend in this situation, and I would give them an answer. And I would write it down myself. I’m thinking, there’s zero chance that I am the one that is the creator of that thought, because I’ve never looked at it this way in my life. I’ve never thought about it this way. I didn’t have it written down. It’s something that just came through me. So whoever speaking Thank you very much, because that was awesome. So I can absolutely agree and understand where you’re coming from.
David Ralph [40:30]
So so that phrase I said, right at the very beginning, in the introduction, life isn’t searching for perfection. Life is perfection in itself. Was that something that you you actually consciously came up with? Or was that something that that falls into what we’re just talking about?
Allen Vaysberg [40:46]
I think everything that I do has a part of channelling and that’s not to put me on any pedestals or say that I’m speaking to God or devil is some people would probably say that. It just means that wherever these thoughts are coming from They are coming from and if they’re helping other people on myself then so beat. I remember writing poetry at the age of seven and people were asking, this is way too mature for your age. How is this coming through? And that’s why channelling was so easy for me because I’ve always been in that state ability to receive information from somewhere and put it down. A lot of my poetry is that way, like that. That phrase that you you mentioned, is a part of a poem that I wrote, life isn’t searching for perfection, life is perfection in itself. I deeply believe that. And so is another part that was, if you will channel. I was in Brazil, visiting john of God. If people are familiar with his work, a very famous medium who heals people, and I came out of there and the information came in that many people think that the life eternal or in the spirit world is the real life. And they don’t worry about this one because this one is not real. Well, this one is real being in this one is a blessing. All of the information that’s out there helping people is channelled from somewhere. We may say that it’s us, we may say that it’s somewhere else. But that’s not the point. The point is, are we doing something that helps somebody else? And if that’s the case, then obeyed.
David Ralph [42:31]
And the amazing thing about flow and I used to work in his corporate gig, and I remember being at about half past nine, I’d been maybe an hour and a half. I drank four coffees By that time, and I was thinking, Oh, my God, how many hours till lunchtime and it was just like a slog. Now when I’m doing this, it’s literally bang. Oh, is the show’s done. Oh, and next one’s coming on. I just recalled constantly, constantly, constantly, and you can’t get enough and I think me And that is the essence what I want. For the listeners out there. I want them to wake up every morning going. Yeah, looking forward to today. And they have that moment where they sit there, do whatever they need to do when they look at the clock and go, Oh, it’s lunchtime. Oh, yeah, my tummy starting rumbling and I just lost time because that’s when it all comes together, isn’t it?
Allen Vaysberg [43:20]
Yes. And that’s, that’s what I enjoy the most is seeing in people that change from going to work and dreading it to Oh my God, I don’t know what just happened. But I’ve worked the whole day. So many exciting things are happening. I love this. And that change changes everything.
David Ralph [43:38]
And then I sort of like look at you and wink because suddenly they’ve got it. It’s it’s become simple to them. Because when when what I’m doing now is and I’m sure you’re agree with it. It’s close to playing. It’s it’s not really work. Yeah, there’s a load of preparation. There’s a load of admin that I need to do and stuff, but the actual essence of what I’m doing is playing When you’re earning a living and you’re playing, there’s still that kind of corporate brainwashing I suppose that you go, No, I shouldn’t earn this I shouldn’t earn the money I’m earning because life is going to be hard. I should be going in and working hard and coming home and tired and having performance plans and all they’re not waking up every morning guy. Brilliant. Looking forward to this today. It just doesn’t seem right. Because for years and years and years, it wasn’t why and we were told, life is about growing up, you got to grow up and take responsibility for yourself, Alan and, and and be serious stop thinking that you can change the world and all that kind of stuff. But quite frankly, we can and we should.
Allen Vaysberg [44:38]
And yeah, and I think that advice is actually correct if use the proper, you know, syntax, because we should grow up. We should start taking charge of our own destiny. And that means start listening to ourselves and doing what it is that we love doing.
David Ralph [44:54]
Well I love doing this because I’m going to press a button now and play a speech that I listened to probably eight times a day, and I never get fed up with it. It’s the theme of the show. This is the words that Steve Jobs said 10 years ago.
Steve Jobs [45:07]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [45:42]
Do you buy into them.
Allen Vaysberg [45:44]
I absolutely I can see why you never get tired of this. It is so true. Because what happened before and looking at my life and seeing all the turns. I knew that there was a reason for it. Not fully understanding what that was until much later. I fully fully believe in this.
David Ralph [46:04]
But so many people don’t do it. So many people feel that they’ve got to I suppose it takes us back to the the straight career we were talking about earlier. People think, well, they have to have a path is planned. But life is what’s interesting. It’s that ability to go with the flow and find your way around problems. And ultimately, I think, the dream the goal that you start off with more often but not just starts to be something to aim for, because you actually find the real dream on that journey.
Allen Vaysberg [46:34]
Yeah, that often happens, certainly. And that’s why if you start off with something that you love doing, then you’re already there. Because then you can just continue and see where it leads from there, as opposed to having to stop the way that I did the way that you did the way that many of us are doing. We can call it midlife crisis. We can call it whatever we want. I call it a wake up call and realignment. So if you choose to do that, then everything else will fall into place.
David Ralph [47:01]
So on that Join Up Dots timeline that Steve was talking about. Do you have a big.in your life that you look back at? And you go, yeah, I think that was it. I think that was when Alan started finding his real thing.
Allen Vaysberg [47:16]
I have many dots, which was go to.
But yes, yeah, I think when I was when I was young, and that seven year old, no, actually, I take that back. That was a huge moment. But that’s not the the dot that changed everything. The dot that changed everything is when I heard from my brother. I have an older brother who lived in Israel for a while and he went to a seer, a psychic, if you will. And he showed her pictures of all of his family. She looked at my photo. I think I was about 14 or 15 at the time, and she looked at it said, Oh, that’s a great man. And then he told me about that. And since that moment, I am knew before hearing that, that I was meant for something different, then I heard a confirmation of that. And I’ve spent the remaining years trying to figure out what that actually meant and how I can live up to it.
David Ralph [48:11]
And do you feel like you’ve lived up to it? Or are you still on that journey?
Allen Vaysberg [48:15]
I am very much still on that journey. I don’t believe that I’m there. I feel that I’m finally doing what I love doing. But I have not arrived at the destination yet.
David Ralph [48:24]
Because what I love about the destination is it’s never quite there. And the fact that you’re on the train, and you’re going forward, going forward, going forward, and every now and again, you can jump off and walk around and see things. But then you can jump back on that train and people going, and I love that. And I was talking to a chap way back in the 70s. And he was saying to me that when he’s life was going bad. He felt that he was on a train that was going the wrong way and you had to jump off because it was going somewhere bad. And it’s good metaphor for life, isn’t it but You can jump on the train, go through a journey and get off and have a look around. And if you like it, you can stay there for a while. But if not get back on the train and keep moving forward.
Allen Vaysberg [49:10]
Exactly. Now they can look at it in this metaphor, they can look at it as a life as an all you can eat buffet. You just choose whatever you choose to experience and have a taste of it. If you don’t like it, have a taste of something else. That’s right next to it.
David Ralph [49:21]
We have on fire we have Alan, we’re on fire. I don’t want to show to finish but I’m going to send you back in time now because this is literally the end of the show. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic when I send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Alan, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m gonna play the theme tune when it fades. You’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [49:55]
Allen Vaysberg [50:10]
And we’ve travelled back in time. To the age one Allen was not even named Alan he was named Constantine metal anko. He was a young kid of 15 years of age who just came to the United States a year before. He was just learning English. He was finding his way. He was playing tennis and serving very well and thought he would be a professional tennis player. He wanted to be an actor, and his parents told him that he needs to have a real job. At that moment, his brother told him that he was meant for greatness. So I’m speaking to that Allen right now. For that Constantine meant alenko buddy, first and foremost, I love you. And I want to tell you that because I’m tearing up. I want to tell you that because your life is full of interesting challenges. Your life is not a journey that’s easy. It’ll be filled with distractions. It’ll be filled with critics. It’ll be filled with people who want you to fail. But the drive for greatness is not based on the monetary reward at the end of it, the drive for greatness is the drive to find what you love, and to do it. And if you take three words from me, those three words are the words that I live by now, which is live your essence. Don’t worry about anybody else. Surround yourself with those people who choose you for who you are, who believe in you and can help you find and stay on that path. If you do that, everything else will turn out wonderful. There will be things that don’t work out there will be things that will work out better than you’ve ever expected. But be true to who you are and never stray away from that.
David Ralph [52:12]
Alan How can our audience connect with you sir?
Allen Vaysberg [52:17]
Thank you I was holding myself really much very very much before without without crying so I appreciate that. When the show is done, I may go back to that and cry cry myself. In order to get in touch with me people can go to my website Alan vase Berg calm, it’s a Ll E. And v a YS BRG. They can tweet me at Alan inspire. Or they can find me on Facebook again, look me up on my first and last name or inspire page. Those would be the easiest way.
David Ralph [52:53]
And thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe By joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Mr. Allen vaes Berg, thank you so much.
Allen Vaysberg [53:08]
Thank you, David. It’s been a sincere pleasure.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you were once to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.