Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Diane Helbig
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Introducing Diane Helbig
Todays guest on Join Up Dots could have been taken straight from that classic movie “Dead Poets Society” as her mantra in life and her company name is “Seize This Day”
“Carpe Diem” is the way forward if you want to have a kick ass life, both personally and professionally.
And our guest has demonstrated that everyday as after a successful 20 years in sales and business development she took the experience that she has gained and took the leap of faith.
In early 2006, she launched her coaching practice where she helps individuals and small business to see the opportunities all around them, and bound over the obstacles that they may see as game stoppers.
She provides common sense approach to the sales process, and ultimately builds confidence into everyone that she meets.
She is a public speaker, coach, radio host, author and go getter, and seems to me loves her life, and the value she is providing to the world.
So what was the point in her life when she knew that she had enough experience to leave the comfort of a steady salary, and go it alone.
And does she see more and more of the employees of the world getting itchy feet to go out and do there own thing, or is it still a case that people will cling to employment no matter how unhappy it is making them.
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only, Diane Helbig.
During the episode we discussed such weighty topics with Diane Helbig such as:
How she knows in life that there are things that you can do something about and those things that you cant..so wont worry about the latter.
How it is so important to get rid of the Debbie downers in life, and to start surrounding yourself in success and belief.
How she lost control of her life when she started her entrepreneurial route and struggled to reclaim her working hours.
How she can see how so much of her life was based around the relationship building that she developed moving so many times as a child.
How she can see that her big dot in her life was being the middle child in her family, where she was forced to learn the skills of listening and observing.
How To Connect With Diane Helbig
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here– enjoy
Full Transcription Of Diane Helbig Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
He has Hello there everybody, Episode 304 of Join Up Dots and I’m feeling good. I’m feeling particularly good. I’ve been recording all day. And I am getting to the point now that I’m starting to get the hang of this and it is weird when you when you start anything. There’s a certain make it to you fake it kind of thing that goes on and certainly in Join Up Dots. I’ve been calm. If you listen back to sort of after 150 200 I was finding my feet. Now I feel I feel like I’m a fully fledged host. So it’s a delight to bring a guest on to join up Who really is seizing the day because she could have been taken straight from the classic movie Dead Poets Society as her mentor in life and her company name is seize the day. Carpe Diem is the way forward if you want to have a kick ass life, both personally and professionally. And our guest has demonstrated that every day is after a successful 20 years in sales and business development. She took the experience that she had gained and took the leap of faith. Yes, it was scary time. In early 2006, she launched her coaching practice, where she helps individuals and small businesses to see the opportunities all around them, and bound over the obstacles that they may see as GameStop as she provides common sense approach to the sales process, and ultimately builds competence into everyone that she meets. She’s a public speaker, coach, radio host author and go getter and seems to me to love her life and the value she’s providing to the world. So what was the point in her life when she knew that she’s had enough experience to leave the comfort of a steady salary and go in alone. And as you see more and more of the employees of the world getting itchy feet to go out and do their own thing, or is it still the case that people will cling to employment no matter how unhappy it’s making them? Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Diane Helbig. How are you Diane?
Diane Helbig [2:18]
I’m great. Thank you. How are you?
David Ralph [2:21]
I’m very good. I’m very good indeed. I feel slightly I don’t know I feel I’m going slightly mad actually. I’ve got this kind of spirit to me on this show. Diane, so you’ve got to rein me in. You’ve got to keep me under control. Treat me harsh like a woman does.
Diane Helbig [2:38]
Thanks for the permission.
David Ralph [2:40]
I don’t give that to my wife is only to you Diane, I’m giving you free brown to rain. Rain Mary good. Lady actually cutting straight to the chase. Are you a lady that likes to keep in control because a lot of your your kind of professional life is when you are in situations back Go out of control, being a public speaker and a coach and a radio host and all those kind of things. You are literally working on the edge all the time, aren’t you? Are you somebody that knows when to rein things in and knows when to allow things to have a bit more flexibility?
Diane Helbig [3:14]
You know, that’s a really great question. And I would hope so, I definitely like to be in control, though I have learned over the years that there are some things that you can’t be in control of, and the best thing to do is let it go and let things happen the way they’re supposed to, you know, to really lean into that the universe really knows what it’s doing. And that’s okay. It’s funny, I’ll finish thing about the universe because people talk about it all the time. And the people that are kind of doing their thing and enjoying life. They’ve got a kind of familiarity with the universe that things happen for a reason. But the people that aren’t doing their own thing, think it’s a load of old whoo, whoo. So,
David Ralph [3:59]
I am I believe in it totally. And I have things happening all the time that I just can’t believe and you can only put it down to the universe. But it is funny, isn’t it? How people that are taking action will go with it, and people that aren’t taking action will think it’s a load of Hocus Pocus?
Diane Helbig [4:14]
Well, sure, though, I think the ones who are taking action have to have a reason why they’re not other than they’ve chosen not to. So it makes sense to me that they would think that that’s just a whole bunch of woo woo and a whole bunch of bunk. When once you take that leap, but once you start doing things, boy, you know, you find out constantly daily, how much the universe will you know, the role the universe is playing?
David Ralph [4:43]
Well, what’s happened to you today that you look at it and you go, Wow, that’s a bit weird, because I literally had these things on a daily basis that I kind of think, did I ask somebody to connect me with this person? Or has it just happened? I’ve got gentlemen coming on in a couple of days time called jack Canfield from the Chicken Soup for the Soul. Oh, sure.
And I haven’t approached him once. But he was on my list of people I wanted to get on the show. And he’s just suddenly kind of come into my mind my universe, we use that word. So as weird things that’s happened to you today dying.
Diane Helbig [5:21]
So that’s so interesting that you asked so this morning I went to a meeting with I sit on a board here locally, a business board. And I went to a meeting this morning with a couple people who are on the executive end of the board asking me to join one of the committees that that’s pretty high up there. And I am one of the people said to me, okay, but you know, you’re also involved in this so we think you can do it but we want to make sure that you don’t overextend yourself and whatnot. And I and my instant thought was, I really believe that the universe puts me in it where I’m supposed to be when I’m supposed to puts opportunities in front of me when I’m supposed to Have them. So this is an opportunity that I am supposed to get involved with at this time. And I’m really comfortable with that. So it’s funny that you’re asking me that because I was thinking that this morning when I left that meeting, I thought, this is just where I’m supposed to be. Now, this is what I’m supposed to be doing. This is my next step with this organisation. It’s taking me somewhere, I’ll find out where that is. As I move along, and I would like to be further along with the organisation, I would like to be more involved and I just believe that’s going to happen as it’s supposed to.
David Ralph [6:34]
You know, I knew you were thinking that this morning. That’s how far my research is. I get into your brain without you knowing and
Diane Helbig [6:43]
you are good. I try
David Ralph [6:45]
my best I do try my best. So So what is it in your life that if we were in a bar and I meet you and I buy you a drink? What would you say you do for a living because we’ve so many things on the go? How do you phrase it
Diane Helbig [7:00]
would say that I
assist small business owners in realising success as they define it.
David Ralph [7:11]
It’s not really pumped to use it.
Diane Helbig [7:13]
I know it really isn’t. But it’s really true. I mean, you that is the basis of what I do and I am completely passionate about it. But I really do provide small business owners with the guidance and the support and the accountability and the fan ism to maybe coin a phrase that the belief in them the empowerment to really do the things that they think they want to do and be really, really successful at it. It’s It’s incredible how rewarding it is,
David Ralph [7:49]
and when you’re doing it because we aren’t going to go back in time and lead up to what you’re doing now. But when you’re doing it because I do a lot of coaching and I do a lot of these conversations. I do a lot of things A positive environment. And it doesn’t take a great push, to get people to really have great things occur in their life. It seems like people have the belief, but they need somebody else to allow them to believe in it. And do you find that in the companies that you work with them almost there, but they just need somebody to kind of go look, it’s all right for you to feel this way is all right you to do this, this is what you’re here to do. And then being a light goes on, and then they move forward to success.
Diane Helbig [8:32]
It’s such a great point that it’s it’s almost as if I mean, anything that I tell them, I believe that they already know. They just, it’s like they need that confirmation for some reason they need that support that other person who really believes in them in order for them to believe in themselves enough to keep moving forward.
David Ralph [8:52]
Well, what do you think about ease in life because he’s not just in business is it it’s from small children. It’s it’s across the top of the Isn’t it really, that when somebody says to us, I really love the way you do that? you kind of go, Okay, fair enough. And instantly, if one person says something bad, all the good things will just go out the window as well. It’s really it’s a shifting sand, isn’t it? That personal
Diane Helbig [9:17]
belief? It really is. And I guess it’s interesting. I think we really do spend our lives needing that confirmation from other people from the people who we believe in, you know, the people we respect the people who we hold in high regard. I think one of the mistakes that we make is that we let people who we don’t hold in high regard, influence how we feel about ourselves, or you know, we give stock to things that they say or believe when we, you know, really don’t think they’re all that great. So that that’s a weird one for me that we can be impacted by people who we could really care less about.
David Ralph [9:58]
I was speaking to a chap Just a moment ago, just before we started recording this show, and he said the worst thing that you can do about dreams is tell other people. He said, You really, you have to work on it on your own until it’s to a point where they can’t knock you back. That is it. There’s foundations, and there’s a personal belief. And I call it the success vacuum. And I talked about this a lot, where you start doing something and you’re sitting there, and you turn over to sort of big Veera, who sits next to you in your cubicle, and you say, Viva, this is what I’m going to do, and they will go, now, you’ll be in five years time, and you turn the other way, and you get a similar response. And you’re sort of fighting against it all the time. But once you push through that, then suddenly successful people start coming towards you, you suddenly build this success vacuum and people can’t fight it off. They get sucked into your world, and you suddenly surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, you believe in them and then more and more people in It becomes a movement. Did you see what i’m saying on that?
Diane Helbig [11:02]
Oh, I do and and it’s funny because as you were talking about that I was thinking, well that is really what you need to do. You have to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with positive people with people who believe in you with people who are going to be encouraging you and you have to remove the Debbie downers, you know, you got to get those people out of the way. Because if their negativity is all about themselves, and not about you, but it spills over onto you if you let it.
David Ralph [11:30]
So so when you were at that point, that leap of faith time, you’ve been working for a corporation for 20 years in sales and business development, and you’re successful, you know it inside out, and you start thinking, I gotta do my own thing. Whether people around you that were sort of going, yes, go for it, Diane, or were there people going? What are you doing? You’re three years away from being a director or you’re three years away from something You’ve done it, you’ve done it. What are you throwing in? For? What? What was the vibe around you at that time?
Diane Helbig [12:05]
Well, for the most part, the people around me were really positive about it. I have to say, I will tell you that the week that I was going to give notice that I was going to, you know, quit my job. My husband woke up really early in the morning and came downstairs and said, This is making me really nervous. I thought, well, this is a fine time to tell me because we’re done. I mean, I’m doing this thing. But so I said to him, you know, I appreciate you sharing that with me. And, you know, we have to assume I’m going to be successful. And it’s not the last decision I ever have to make. So we just, we gotta go and then he was totally supportive. So but did I support the decision, or did he support you? Oh, that’s a really good question. I think he supported me. I think if I was really honest, I I think he’s supported me
David Ralph [13:01]
so he knew that when Diane got our teeth into something she was gonna go
Diane Helbig [13:07]
Yeah, yeah. Yeah he knew he knew the kind of you know work ethic I had and the kind of passion that I have and and that when I make a decision that said and that I would you know work to do it no matter what and that it that it would work out and it did you know, he just, you know, he had that moment of whoa, wait a minute, you know, which I get I mean that that happens I think we’d be crazy not to have that little bit of sanity check or or you know, fear but fear is a good thing it means that you’re changing that you’re growing that you’re going somewhere so but but Okay,
David Ralph [13:48]
did you did you know lay in bed with him snoring by the side of you thinking, right? I’ve now done it. I’ve handed my cards in oh my god because those dark moments I’ve had loads of them launching this show wasn’t too bad. I talked about this a lot as well. I use my show, I always talk about myself. But once it started to really find its feet, it was almost like a fault. I can’t back out now, there’s going to be egg on my face if I back up started something. And it was really scary. Now, I used to have sort of lots of times when I’d be sitting there pretending to be watching a film. But deep in my head, I was thinking, Oh my God, this has got to work. It’s got to work. I can’t go back now it’s got to work. Now fortunately for me, I think that’s a great place to be now because I’ve gone through it, and he pushes you on. But tell us about how you overcome that when you’re laying in bed and you staring at the ceiling. He’s snowing by the side of you and you think oh my god, it’s on me now. I put my mouth where my you know, I’m starting.
Diane Helbig [14:50]
Yeah. So I’m a person of action. And what I learned while ago is that that whenever you are experiencing anxiety, the best You can do is take some sort of action because you can’t be anxious when you’re actually doing something because anxiety and fears about the future. And when you’re taking action, you’re in the present. So whenever I start feeling like that, I do something forward moving in my business, whatever it is, so I will get up in the middle of the night and I will go write an article or I will look through you know, I will I will not send the Muslims I send emails, but I will put them in drafts so that in the morning I can send emails out, I will do something forward moving in my business and then edit and it works because it start it keeps those the ball rolling forward. Because I
David Ralph [15:46]
can’t do that. If I get up in the middle of the night. It’s a little jump to the toilet probably. Because, yeah, if I start thinking about work, that’s my whole night gone. I find it very difficult to do a few things and been sort of like drift off again. It’s, it’s too exciting. It’s too, too as you say, you’re creating a future for yourself which in when I was an employee, I never felt that I, you know, I was in bed thinking, oh my god, another three hours and I’ve got to get up. But when when you’re doing something that you love, it’s kind of like, come on, come on, come on, get the sun up. I’m ready to go. I’m ready to go. And I lay there for hours. So I don’t think I could do email sending during the night. That would be it the whole night gone.
Diane Helbig [16:28]
Well, okay, but what would be the downside of that? Because it is it better to lay there watching the clock anticipating when the sun rises. I mean, I’m not quite sure why the sun rising is the is the starting gun. Why isn’t when you wake up and you start thinking the time to do something?
David Ralph [16:48]
Well, that’s a key point because the Uber successful people get up at stupid o’clock every morning. Yeah, and why do they do that? Why? Why are they getting up before alarm clock and literally jumping out of bed, when the entire world is full of people going, Oh my god, it’s Monday morning. Here we go again. Now what I will say to you, Diane is quite simply, half the planet is bored and the other half are infused. And what I’m trying to do on Join Up Dots is get the bullet half to jump over to our, and the planet will spin somehow if we’re all on one side, but it’d be an exciting place and we’re running furiously as the world starts spinning under our feet because we have all on one side.
Diane Helbig [17:33]
It would be fabulous. If that were the case, though. You know, I’m a firm believer that we all need to be where we feel like we are the most fulfilled, whatever that is. The tragedy is people who really would be more fulfilled, doing their own thing, not doing their own thing because of whatever’s holding them back. Other people’s belief systems, their fear, whatever It is that is tragic and and I’m with you, we got to get those people to take that leap.
David Ralph [18:06]
Yeah, come over to our side listeners. It’s good over here. It’s all successful when we you can go down the pub in the middle of the afternoon because you don’t have a boss. It’s all knows it’s not quite as good as that I promise you. But but it is funny, isn’t it that when you start off on the entrepreneurial journey and I will ask you this, did you kind of have in your mind that the fact because you can control your hours you were going to be able to do what you wanted when you wanted but once you actually got into it you found that you were working longer hours than you did before.
Diane Helbig [18:41]
Oh my gosh, yes. It was oh my god constantly I worked from the minute I caught up in the morning till the minute I went to bed was terrible. Because you know what? You’re not as effective when you do that and what I realised So yeah, I thought this will be great all flexibility with my kids, which I did and I do and and that’s been great. You know, if I want to go over to school for something I can make up that time later, that’s great. But I was extending my days, to all day and all night. And, and was really not getting stuff done because I had this idea in my head that I had time to do it. When I went back to more structured hours and more structured time, I am much more productive during my work day, and more engaged in my life.
David Ralph [19:28]
Because I used to do the show, and it was literally seven days a week, 20 hours a day, and it was killing me. But because you get better at doing it and you become more structured. I literally can do it in a day and a half now. And so I’ve got the rest of the week to do what I want. Now I do have certain responsibilities with kids and life and all that kind of stuff. So it’s not just me running around doing what I want. And to be honest, if I suddenly had a block of time, but I had nothing to do. I probably work on the show because I love doing it. And that’s, that’s the difference, isn’t it? You, you do kind of trap yourself into the oldies free time, what should I do with it? I work why because I love working. And it’s just a mindset that you you kind of get into which, until you get into it, you can’t believe that you can have your cake and eat it.
Diane Helbig [20:16]
It’s so true. That is absolutely the case. It’s so different when it’s yours. And you are you get to make the decisions and you get to try things, and some work and some don’t. And that’s okay. You know, when when you I mean, that’s part of what gets you up in the middle of the night is these ideas that start floating around in your head that you have to get up and you have to write them down and you have to think about them and maybe Google some stuff and you know, it’s just it’s fabulous.
David Ralph [20:48]
Let’s play some words that really hit home to what we’re talking about. And generally I play this every episode because I just love this words and I would love to have an alarm clock that plays is every morning when I wake up, this is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [21:02]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [21:29]
What do you think about that and dying?
Diane Helbig [21:31]
Oh, my God, is that fabulous?
David Ralph [21:34]
Have you ever heard that before?
Unknown Speaker [21:37]
David Ralph [21:39]
So you haven’t been listening to my shadows all? Yeah. You could have lied. You could have lied. I would have said Oh,
Diane Helbig [21:47]
you’re right. I could have not that far in. I have listened to your show. Just apparently not that far. But there’s a key point. Oh my gosh, it is absolutely the point. You absolutely Oh my gosh. And and you know, this whole idea of secure just doesn’t exist. It might have existed 40 years ago. It doesn’t exist anymore. What was your
David Ralph [22:13]
What are you secure? Cuz you you obviously did what I did and you went into the corporate route so you sort of grew up and then you got a job and you worked in it for X amount of years was your mom died kind of 50 years in the same job kind of people that mine were.
Diane Helbig [22:30]
Now Actually, my mom was a Career College student and my father. Well, I suppose by the time I was in about first grade, he started doing the same thing. But he did it for a lot of different companies. We moved every year that I was growing up until I was in sixth grade. So it’s just because he kept either changing companies or getting a promotion of the new territory. He was just salesman, and he was very entrepreneurial. So, but but he did not, you know, get a job and stick with that company forever. He didn’t he, you know, he, As matter of fact, and then one day, he walked into his boss and quit and went off and sort of jumped around, and then ended up owning a real estate business in Florida becoming a broker.
David Ralph [23:29]
And do you remember him jumping around? Do you remember? Sort of your diet? Oh, yeah. Oh, you do?
Diane Helbig [23:35]
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, because we move so much. I mean, maybe I wouldn’t have I probably wouldn’t have noticed it if we weren’t always moving. But, you know, we literally moved, you know, every time I’d get a best friend, my father would come home for dinner and go, we’re moving and we moved, like from Arizona, to Pittsburgh, which is from one side of the United States, the other side of the United States. They weren’t necessarily small moves. So Some of them were somewhat small, but always in a new school district, you know, always to a new place. So, and I used to go, and I worked with him and his business. He was a manufacturer’s Rep. So some, you know, he worked out of our house and so I would help him with some of it.
David Ralph [24:18]
So what’s where I got my stuff? Oh, yeah, well, he kind of gave you van because if you’re going into a new school, you’ve got to build connections, you’ve got to be our particular gauge has. And so it was a master class really wasn’t it but what you did in sales, because sales is all about connecting very, very quickly. I was in sales for years, I’ve been up in London. And to be honest, I did sales when there wasn’t any moles to it. It was one of those kind of you just got the sale. And you could connect, say anything you wanted as long as you got a sale at the end of it. And I was very, very good at that. And I think it’s it’s taken it on to where I am now that we can have these conversations on the show which literally within two minutes of saying hello for the first time, we’re really sort of getting engaged. Did you find that with looking back on it going from school to school to school walking in and say, Hello, I’m Diane, I’m the new girl who’s going to be my friend has helped you later on in life.
Diane Helbig [25:16]
Absolutely. It’s so funny that I I attribute my ability to be who I am now and do what I do now. Absolutely. That that to two things. One tool is constantly moving, because we get to a new house. And as my mother was unpacking the boxes, she would say to my older sister, take your sister and brother door to door and see if they have kids. We would literally my sister would take us door to door and introduce herself and us and say Do you have any kids our age to play with? Because we always like moved in the summertime. So we’d meet kids and then we go into school and you were always with new kids and building those relationships. So that is absolutely the other as that my father was the kind of salesman who was A solution provider. His customers trusted him so much, because they knew he was going to give to do what was right for them. He knew them really well. And he was going to make sure that they got the furniture that was going to sell in their store. So I watched them, you know, I watched him do it and I learned the relationship building side of sales from him. And then got the relationship skills from moving constantly.
David Ralph [26:27]
So so you just naturally a kind of ballsy lady. Always it’s something that you had. Oh, yeah.
Diane Helbig [26:33]
Oh, no, I’m a Taurus. I mean, for those of us who knows sun signs, I am a typical Taurus. female. I am tremendously loyal. I am very wishy birthda. Sure.
David Ralph [26:48]
may know I’m 30th of April. So I’m a Taurus as well.
Diane Helbig [26:52]
Oh, so there you go. See there’s that you know, something about Tauruses. And and I’ve always been confident. I think I’ve all I know a lot of that was my parents, you know, but but always believed? Well, you know, when I was growing up, my father used to say you can do anything you want to do as long as you’re willing to do the work. And I believed it. So even though I was a girl in the 80s, you know, getting a management job and some people looking at me and going, what are you doing here? I believe my father. So I went into it thinking, Well, of course I can do this. Of course, I have the ability and the skill sets.
David Ralph [27:32]
That belief that you give your clients you know,
Diane Helbig [27:35]
David Ralph [27:38]
It’s funny you how went in Join Up Dots land, it all ties up, no experience is wasted. What? Whatever you’ve done, no matter how rough it is, you gained something from it, how good it is, you gained something from it, and it just leads you want. I’m actually going to play some words, actually, at the end of the show, which is the theme of the whole show is a speech that Steve Jobs did, but I’m going to play some other ones. Because now, which is something that Oprah Winfrey said recently, and it ties up beautifully about how everything is not a failure, everything is not a success. It’s just a journey that you’re on
Unknown Speaker [28:11]
and listen to this. The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because, you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [28:45]
Did you see that in your own life when when you took that entrepreneurial leap, and you had that belief that you could go out and do it on your own? But you must have had like I had an everyone that come Oh my god, this is too big for me. Don’t even know where to start. Did you get quiet? Like she said, and just make the next decision? Or did you have a plan? How did you do it?
Diane Helbig [29:10]
I absolutely got quiet and went to the next step. And that is actually something that I, I speak about constantly and I do with all of my clients because she is dead on that we tend to get overwhelmed with the enormity of our dreams, the enormity of where we think we want to go what we want to do, and that’s part of what holds us back because we say, Oh my gosh, I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know what to do about that. Are you kidding? That dreams too big. I just went through this with my son, actually. And and I said to him, You You can’t let go of your dreams. You just have to take them one step at a time. Because that’s how everything happens. Everything is a journey of steps, and you don’t jump from here to there. You start the process and each step tells you what the next Next step is. So all you need to do is decide which steps you’re going to take right now. And they’ll take the lead you to the next ones,
David Ralph [30:09]
because I laugh now at the steps that I’ve taken, I look over my shoulder and I look at where I’ve come from. And I kind of go, yeah, that wasn’t too hard. It was when I was going through it. If there was, there was game stoppers every way along the lines. Yeah. But when you look back, you realise that actually, it wasn’t that hard. But at the time, I think you said it very well, right at the very beginning of the show. You can tell me about things that you can do something about, but not the things you can’t do anything about. And I think that is a great mindset for being able to just focus on the next doable task, and then the next doable task and then the next doable task and if you do enough of them, you start to make movement, don’t you?
Diane Helbig [30:56]
Exactly. And acknowledging the accomplishments because you You’re right, it’s easy to look backward and go, Oh, well, that wasn’t so bad. Well, of course not because it was the natural progression of things. But when you’re on this side of it, and you’re looking forward, you’re looking down this road and you’re thinking, I don’t even know where that road goes. I’m not even sure if that’s the right road. Okay, you just have to start those steps. And then acknowledge that you took those steps because it’s that momentum that builds and that energy that builds from those steps that takes you in the right direction. And you know what, if you’re not going in the right direction, the step will tell you that and you’ll change course,
David Ralph [31:32]
with which you do driving, don’t you drive along? You think, Oh, hang on, I’ve gone wrong. I’ll just do a U turn and go. But in life somehow, we all think that it’s got to be a straight path. And I, I talked to people and I go to me, yeah, but it’s all right for you. And I go, Why? Why is it all right for me, and I go, Oh, well, because you can do this. You can do that. I go, believe me. Most of it was an act. Yes, I can do it. Now by the beginning I really didn’t know what the microphone to speak into him what into press and do whatever it was all in Act, but you you trick yourself into believing you can do it. And then little by little you realise you can do it. That’s your first dot, then you work to get into the next stage, don’t you?
Diane Helbig [32:19]
Yes, that’s exactly exactly at and everyone can do it. It isn’t easy for some people and hard for others. It’s a process. You know, it’s a system. It’s a plan and everyone can do it.
David Ralph [32:34]
So always sign all the listeners out there in a thousands in their cubicles listening to this conversation. Our or is David Ralph and Diane Helbig. Both saying it doesn’t matter who is listening to these words, if you’ve got something that you want to do and you want to do it bad enough, you can make it occur is that what we’re saying? dying?
Diane Helbig [32:56]
That is exactly what we’re saying.
David Ralph [32:59]
What Don’t you think they’re not gonna believe that but because I don’t
Diane Helbig [33:05]
know, they don’t? Uh, why don’t they believe it? Oh, you know, they don’t i don’t believe it because they can’t see the other side of it. They see that they say that people don’t change, not because they don’t like change, it’s because they don’t know what’s on the other side of the change that if they could see what was on the other side of it, they would go there, which is why I like people to actually visualise what it looks like on the other side as if they were already there. So and do you do that yourself look like I do. I do. And I created a whole programme for it’s called roadmapping. So I do it for me. I do it for other people I you know, with her tomorrow, I’m going to be doing it with a woman’s group, because you have to be able to see it, and what it really looks like in order to then back up to now and start moving toward it.
David Ralph [33:59]
I realise over time when I when I’m in the shower, and I do this little thing, I won’t share what I do in the bathroom because hey, it might sound a bit weird. But there is when I’m when I’m brushing my teeth and I’m looking into the mirror. I had this little speech and I looked myself right in the eyes. And I tell myself this, this positive statement, and I’ve been doing it every, every day, every time I brush my teeth in the morning. And it really is it’s a simple little mind trick is a Jedi mind trick, but it gets me going. And I think to myself, yeah, it might have been hard yesterday, but that was yesterday. I’m a bit like any you know, Annie. Tomorrow, tomorrow. Oh, I love Yeah. And I’m a little bit like that. I think that you realise that actually, when something is worth working towards it. You only need to trick yourself to take momentum again and trick yourself to just move forward and you could have the worst day you want and then the sun will come out tomorrow and main You’re right.
Diane Helbig [35:02]
Right? And that’s exactly what and you can’t get hung up when something doesn’t go right. When when something doesn’t go right, learn from it, take a look at what didn’t go right, why it didn’t go right and then take that information and move forward that that’s just, you know, once again, the universe telling you that’s not the right step. That’s okay. So, right. It’s, I mean, you know, you learn to tie a shoe. And you didn’t do it right the first time. Or the second time or the third time, probably, you learn to ride a bike without the training wheels. Okay. We all learn how to do things and we don’t do them right out of the gate.
David Ralph [35:45]
Well, yes. Yeah. What’s gone wrong in your life in your business? Has there been anything that has made you change total direction or has it just been things that made you sort of move slightly in a different way? in a different direction.
Diane Helbig [36:03]
Yeah, you know, I have partnered with people I shouldn’t have partnered with on projects I got all hung up in the excitement. And and, you know, sort of carried away in the idea. I’m a big idea person, you know, constantly having ideas. And I got caught up in the ideas and didn’t stop to do what I knew was really the due diligence work, you know, the steps and ended up you know, being in partnerships that just weren’t good. That didn’t. They just weren’t good relationships. So they didn’t get us where we needed to be. And they actually took away it was draining, you know, it took away from the other things I was doing in my business. So it wasn’t great, but I learned from it. And I don’t do it that way now and to
David Ralph [36:52]
now because I’m building a business around the Join Up Dots which we’re going to be launching shortly and I’m very We aware but my business partners have to do the things that I don’t fancy doing or I don’t like doing or I’m not very good at because the things that I can do well I might as well do it myself and I quite enjoy doing it so I can breeze through those quite quickly. But there’s other bits that I look at it Oh, God, I don’t even know where to start. Really. Do you know how to do that? No, I don’t right. You’re not to me. What about you? Yeah, I love doing that. Brilliant. That’s you That’s me, man. Oh, that’s that’s my lady. Whatever it is that how you build it. You build a life around yourself. So you really focusing on the things that you enjoy doing?
Unknown Speaker [37:36]
Diane Helbig [37:38]
Not as much as I should, in all honesty, not as much as I should. There isn’t a tonne in my business that I don’t like doing. But I should probably outsource more like in my coaching practice. I don’t necessarily want partners. I don’t want the other coaches. I really enjoy what I do. I like doing it. But there are aspects of the business that other people should be doing. And I am learning how to do that I have a one part of my business that I did bring, you know, a contract person in and she’s great. And she does the things she needs to do. And I was a little surprised at how, how good I was about letting that go. Because, you know, we said before, I’m sort of a control kind of person. But But you have to do it. You have to find people who you trust, who know what the expectation is of them, and are going to go do it. Because you can’t really do everything. You shouldn’t necessarily be doing everything. But but it has to be the case where they go do and you let them go do and you have a good reporting system so you know what they’re up to, but you’re not duplicating what they’re doing, or doing it for them.
David Ralph [38:51]
Yeah, I said to this guy today I said to him, Look, I tell you what we do where we get together every two weeks. we’re deciding what needs to be done and then you go and do it. And literally in two weeks time I come back and you haven’t done it, then there’s a problem. But if you’ve done it, I don’t care where you’re doing it, you can do it halfway up a tree if you want. But it’s got to be done. Because I would hate that. Well, I’m sort of basically spending time checking on something that I’ve already given somebody else to do. He just seems. But what I do like doing, you might guess, Diane, I like I mean, these conversations, so if I can, if I can do more with this every day, it’s not work. Is it?
Diane Helbig [39:31]
Right now? Not at all. That’s exactly right. And that’s what we should we should all do the thing that doesn’t feel like work.
David Ralph [39:38]
And I think we can do that. I really possibly, absolutely. I’m so positive about this, that when it comes together for you. It’s not like we’re when you’re standing up in front of a crowd of people and you are doing your public speaking and you’re in the zone and you know the content. You love it and when you’re being the radio host Everything comes together, you look at the clock and three hours is gone. You’re in the zone. And I think that’s how everyone can be. And I never used to be like that I used to drink nine coffees, my heart was nine in the morning just to get through to 10 o’clock, thinking, oh, god another two hours till lunchtime. What can I do till that time? But now I could literally lose days. And it’s, it’s awful to say that because, you know, I want everyone to have what I’m feeling. But I need to share that because I now know that you can get that.
Diane Helbig [40:30]
Well, right. I mean, they have to really know that it’s possible that it’s that it’s doable, and it’s not magic, you know, it doesn’t. You don’t wake up one morning and it’s all done and you’re successful. But when you’re really doing something that you’re passionate about, that you enjoy, and is your thing, it’s not none of it is work, you know, you like getting up in the morning and doing it and you like the exploration and the learning, you know, and then when things don’t go quite right, it’s not as bad because you know, you’re learning from You know, you just went through what I call your Edison moment. You know, Edison said, I didn’t fail at the light bulb at creating the light bulb 1000 times I figured out 1000 ways the light bulb doesn’t work. It’s a totally different way of looking at it a better way, in my opinion.
David Ralph [41:16]
So if we sort of jump back to the Jim Carrey speech, when he said, you might as well take a chance on doing something you love. How did you know that what you were setting off to do? You were gonna love? How did you know that?
Diane Helbig [41:31]
Well, what when I realised that I needed to be doing something else, and I was going through my exploration, my best friend told me that I should be a life coach. So and I didn’t know what it was. So I started exploring it and I was researching it. And I thought, wow, this is fascinating. These people do this. This is so interesting for me. And I decided to listen in on an orientation call for one of the schools that you know, one of the training courses and I was listening to these people They were explaining the philosophy and then they did a role playing. And it was my lightbulb moment. I mean, I was writing on a piece of paper in front of me, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. It was I was just unbelievably energised, and I realised everything I’ve ever done. Every experience I’ve ever had, has led me to this moment in time that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. It encompasses everything I enjoy, helping people, educating them, encouraging them, empowering them, listening to them, helping them problem solve, coming up with ideas, no one else is coming up with would you name you know, the sales knowledge that I had the business management knowledge that I had, all of those things came together in one place. It was incredible.
David Ralph [42:50]
And then it was it like the angel scene. And was it It wasn’t epiphany.
Diane Helbig [42:56]
It was an absolute epiphany. It was like fireworks going off and so I was so sure that I just dug in. I was positive. And I was right. I mean, it was a life changing moment for me. Totally life changing, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
David Ralph [43:21]
Can Can you see in other people as well, when when you’re spending time with people, can you go, Wow, this person can’t see it. So in front of them. Yeah.
Diane Helbig [43:34]
That’s challenging for me. Because what I know from coaching is that and hopefully your show will will really help, you know, propel people and help them break out of that cocoon that they’re in. But, you know, it’s really hard for me because you see, I can see so much potential in people and so many things they could be doing and the success they could be having, but if they can’t see it, it’s hard to You can’t get them there. You know, I can’t I, someone else could not have gotten me where I went. I had to do it.
David Ralph [44:07]
That’s that that is the key thing, isn’t it? Because I had the Epiphany to quit my job. And it literally just hit me and I was so wasted by the sudden feeling that came through me. I went home and I never went home ever. I never took time off. It was always I went to work. And even if I was really ill, I’d get through a day and I went home, but I just felt like my whole energy was zapped, because I’d suddenly realised I’d come to the end. Now doing this wasn’t on the radar at all in any shape or form. But my God, I’m glad I found it. And it’s funny, really, because people ask me, you know, how did you decide to do this show and stuff? Yeah, it’s a bit murky. It’s very hard. I’ve kind of created this story just to have something to say. But I think down the line is going to come back to me somehow, but big Is what were the dots joined up how it all come together? Because it certainly is that case, isn’t it? And I’m gonna play some words, but really emphasise once again, what we’re talking about how your dots join up. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [45:13]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference
David Ralph [45:48]
Buy into those words.
Diane Helbig [45:50]
Oh my gosh, completely. That is that is really the point that you have to believe you have to know That it’s leading you somewhere, that it’s taking you somewhere even someplace. You can’t see how it’s getting you there.
David Ralph [46:08]
But but do you have to know because i i don’t think you have to know. And I think from those words, it’s the fact that you don’t know. But you’re still willing to go forward, you don’t know. But you’ve got the faith that something is going to happen. And it’s those experiences that you have on the way to your don’t know, end product, whatever. That is what actually greases it for you. And when you get to that point, you kind of go, aha, yes, yes, I can see now. So I don’t think you do have to know I think you just need to try stuff and move forward.
Diane Helbig [46:42]
I don’t think you have to know what the end is. I think I think it’s what he said I think and where you’re going with that. I think you just have to know that it goes somewhere that you have to trust that it’s taking you where you’re supposed to go. That you don’t have to know where that is. You know, As matter of fact, people would say to me, thank God, they stopped saying this to me. And hopefully you won’t ask me this question. Well, now you won’t. People would say, I’d be interviewing people would go. So where do you see your business in five years, I’m thinking, I don’t have any idea where I see my business in five years. I’m just doing it. I’m just I’m doing my thing. I’m loving my thing. It is going in the direction it is supposed to be going and I am experiencing the things that I should. And it will be where it is supposed to be. And I will be open to that. And and I will embrace it. And it will all be good. So
and that’s enough.
David Ralph [47:41]
I used to work in corporate land. And they used to do these, these board meetings, and I go, and this is our five year projection. And this is our 10 year. And I used to say so you’re guessing and I go No, no, we’re we’re estimated where you don’t know you don’t know what’s happening a year down the line. So why are you wasting time doing Five years, right? And they used to go, Oh, no, you’re not taking it seriously enough. But you’re guessing you can’t possibly know what’s going to happen 10 years down the line and five years, so you’ve just wasted three weeks in a boardroom working these things out. But what you do know is, as Oprah said, the next thing you can do, and then you can go with the next thing, and you can go with the next thing and you can keep on moving forward, but you can project five years, but I’ve got a I got a better question for you, Diane. And on the Join Up Dots timeline that Steve was talking about. What was your big dot? When you look back on it? What was the dot that really made you become who you are? Diane Helbig that was speaking to today.
Diane Helbig [48:42]
Oh, my gosh, what was my big dot?
That that’s such a good question. Um,
Unknown Speaker [48:54]
Diane Helbig [48:56]
I think my big dot was Being a middle child. And as we, as they used to say, in my family never being able to get a word in edgewise because it turned me into a really great listener and observer.
David Ralph [49:17]
And that has filmed everything because it is the listening. So so the listening is more important than the communication.
Diane Helbig [49:25]
Yeah, there’s really there’s an end the observation, because what I turned you know that the person I became, with someone who is a great judge of character is someone who listens intently to what people say and what they don’t say, and can pull out of them really, what they’re struggling with who they are, where they are, where it is, they really want to go and buy and I can observe behaviours of people I can walk into a room and in five minutes tell you exactly what’s right and wrong with a company because I because I am a student of human behaviour. And it’s because I never got a chance to say anything when I was a kid. So my choice was to watch.
David Ralph [50:14]
With very similar, we are so similar
Diane Helbig [50:16]
and, you know, grew up keenly interested in what’s going on with other people.
David Ralph [50:22]
Yeah, I find it amazing. But you are, you know, that side of the pond, you’re in a very different industry than I am. But we’re surrounded by people that we can say things to them that they’ve actually already told us, but they just don’t realise they’ve told us and I have it time and time again. They go Oh, how did you know that? Did I tell you that before we recorded? No, but you’ve kind of alluded to it so often through this conversation, but it’s out there. You just can’t see it yourself.
Diane Helbig [50:53]
Right, right. I know it’s funny people say you’re so good at you know something. I’m thinking man that really I just was You’re listening to what?
I just I got it. I heard Yeah, I’m there.
David Ralph [51:06]
So so this is a big question just before I send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic to have a one on one with your younger self, but I’m going to be very open with the listeners. I asked Diane to come on the show. And Diane said, No, she didn’t want to come on the show. And so I said, Come on, Diane, come on the show what you’re scared of your big Scaredy pants. And why did you think that you weren’t a good fit for the show? Because you quite frankly been brilliant.
Diane Helbig [51:33]
Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that. I guess I really felt that it was probably more people who leaned more towards the life side of things as opposed to the business side of things and I don’t think I really appreciated what we can learn from each other’s journey stories. And and I have a much better appreciation for that now, but I guess I was thinking that
Unknown Speaker [52:02]
Diane Helbig [52:04]
journey might not have necessarily been educational enough for your audience.
David Ralph [52:10]
I think everyone’s journey is a story isn’t it doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re doing, there’s a story behind it. And it’s, it’s, it’s a similar story. It’s all about doing stuff, wanting to do stuff, screwing up, trying other things, getting a job that you think is going to be great. Three years later, you don’t like that job. So you instantly get another job, which is very similar to the one before, which is always bizarre. I don’t know why people do that. And then they find they don’t like that either. And then they’re at a point and they’re at that point that you’ve been, and I’ve been at that you’ve been, I’ve changed. I’ve changed direction twice. I’ve tried the same kind of thing. I’ve got to do. I’ve got to do my own thing. I don’t know what it is. So please, somebody tell me and what this show is all about is it’s there for you. You already know and is an annoying statement to me. But you do just look at yourself closely. And there’s exercises all the way through to shows that you can really reflect on powerful stuff having done.
Diane Helbig [53:10]
Yes, absolutely. And what a gift you’re giving to people. It’s wonderful.
David Ralph [53:16]
Well, trying our best. And this is a gift that you’re going to give us now because this is a part when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and meet the young Diane, what age would you choose and what advice would you give her? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [53:43]
We go with the best bit
Unknown Speaker [53:45]
of the show.
Diane Helbig [54:00]
Well, Diane, it is so wonderful to see you. Almost fresh out of college and diving into the work world like you are and wow, you know what a dive heading in and being given the opportunity to lead a department that as they call it, the zoo has had not had a leader in it for so long. If I could share with you what you’re going to experience what you’re going to go through in a way that you could really embrace so that that experience was even more valuable. I would tell you that having Dave Wescott as your boss is going to end up being one of the most pivotal experiences of your life and you are going to remember fondly And often and you are going to share the stories of the leadership lessons that you learned from Dave, that you then took with you forward into all of the things that you did in in the various, you know, positions that you had. And I would tell you, that as you go through these jobs, when you get to that point, that you really don’t believe that the people you’re working for our authentic or are making decisions that are really in your best interest that you believe strongly in yourself, and that you take that leap of faith and you venture out into the world to do Your own thing where you could make the decisions that you know are the right decisions to make in a business, that you realise that you are watching, and you are learning things that aren’t right, that aren’t the best decisions to be made. And those are the stepping stones for you to work from. That’s the foundation that you work from. And don’t be afraid to go out on your own and do your own thing and grab on to those ideas that you have in the middle of the night or when you’re in the shower. Or when you’re talking to somebody and you have this idea that sounds a little quirky, or a little kooky. You know what, try it. The worst thing that happens is it turns out not to be viable, but you’ll learn a lot from it. And there are all kinds of ideas that you’re going to have over the years that you’re not going to explore or that you know are probably really good ideas, and you’re not going to explore them because you’re going to be afraid to try and you’re gonna wonder, how would you even begin? Where would you start to learn how to do that thing. And I am here to tell you that there are people who know the answers to those questions. There are people who can help you and want to help you. If you just reach out if you just give it a shot, if you think about the things that make sense to you when it comes to that idea and lay that foundation down, and then where do you have questions? What are the holes and go and start asking questions of other people and find the answers for them, they’re there. And you can successfully navigate this world and you will end up enjoying your Not only what you do for a living not only the vocation not only the giving back to the universe in whatever role you play, but you will enjoy more richly the people in your life. The children that you have the husband that you have your friends, your family and all of the spectacular people who you meet along the way.
David Ralph [58:26]
Dan How can our audience connect with you
Diane Helbig [58:31]
they can visit my website at seize this day dot CEO they can connect with me on facebook on LinkedIn on Twitter they can visit my blog at sees this blog. They can email me at Diane at sees this day dot CEO and I would love to hear from them. They can sign up for my newsletter so they can get some hopefully words of wisdom from me periodically over time.
David Ralph [58:58]
will have all the links in the show notes Diane, thank you so much for spending time with us today, joining up those dots. And please come back again, when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots, and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Diane Helbig Thank you so much.
Diane Helbig [59:16]
Oh, thank you so much.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.