Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Terri Britt
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Introducing Terri Britt
Terri Britt is today’s guest on Join Up Dots.
A beautiful lady who wants the world to realise that we need to break the good girl rules, and to become authentic to ourselves.
In short stop playing the roles that people expect you to play.
Instead be who you are and what you were put on this world to be.
Back in 1982, she entered and the Miss USA competition by doing just that.
At the end of the competition she was asked by the host Bob Barker ““So what do you do in Cabot, Arkansas, on a Saturday night?”
And instead of getting the answer “I spend time looking after injured animals, and teaching the homeless algebra” she answered.
“In the summer, we cruise up and down Main Street. Then we go to the Tastee Freeze, sit on the back of my friend’s pickup truck, he plays the banjo, and the guys drink a little beer and dip a little Skoal. It’s a real good time.”
And guess what arise 1982’s Miss USA.
How The Dots Joined Up For Terri Britt
She is the author of several books.
Including “The Enlightened Mom: A mother’s guide for bringing peace, love and light to your family’s life,” WINNER ~ 2011 Best Spiritual Book of the Year at both New York and San Francisco Book Festivals.
Her mission is to help you let go of society’s rules that tell you how to ACHIEVE love, happiness and success, and, instead, honor and love the way you were created.
Does she remember planning her answer to Mr Bob Barker before hand?
Or was it something that she just had on the tip of her tongue and blurted it out?
Obviously with the glamour that comes with winning a prestigious competition such as Miss USA, did she enjoy the trappings and the aforementioned glamour?
Or was it simply living a dream-life that she was pleased to leave behind.
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Terri Britt.
During the episode we discussed such weighty topics with Terri Britt such as:
How going through education made her feel like she was on a hamster wheel.
It wasnt until someone said to her “Then get off the wheel” that she realised it was down to her to do just that.
How she realises that a lot of her issues in her early life were due to seeking connection and approval from her Mother and Father.
These issues took years to resolve.
Why it is so important to look within and find the “Gift” that is given to you in every situation.
How she ended up in a hostel on a Spanish mountain and took a walk with “Christ” who showed her the next stage of her life.
Why she believes that we are all energy.
It’s the way that we channel that energy that makes such a difference to the world we live in.
How To Connect With Terri Britt
Or check out every podcast from our extensive articles here
Full Transcription Of Terri Britt Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com. The premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now at podcasters mastery.com.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:38]
Yes, hello everybody. Welcome to Join Up Dots Episode 323. This is gonna be a good one. This is this is glamour night. I’ve been building up to this one all day. And I haven’t told my wife who I’m talking to because we’ve got a lovely lady, who is quite simply a beautiful lady wants the world to realise that we need to break the good girl rules and to be Come authentic to ourselves ensure stop playing the roles that people expect you to play and instead be who you are and what you were put on this world to be. Now back in 1982, she entered the Miss America competition by doing just bad at the end of the competition. She was asked by the host Bob Barker, and I’m going to do an accent here. I don’t know if this is good. So what do you do in Cabo Arkansas on a Saturday night? Sounds bit creepy. lashley and instead of getting the answer, I spend time looking after injured animals and teaching the homeless algebra, she answered, we’re in the summer we cruise up and down Main Street, then we go to the tasty freeze. Sit on the back of my friends pickup truck. He plays the banjo and the guys drink a little beer and dip a little sko it’s a real good time. And guess what? arised 1982 is Miss America. Now. She’s the author of several books, including the enlightened mom and mother’s guide for bringing peace, love and light to your family’s life. The best spiritual Book of the Year, both New York and San Francisco book festivals and has the mission to help you let go Society rules that tell you how to achieve love, happiness and success and instead honour and love the way you were created. So does she remember planning her answer to Mr. Bob Barker beforehand or was it something that she just had on the tip of her tongue and blurted it out? And obviously with the glamour that comes with winning a prestigious competition such as Miss America, did she enjoy the trappings and the aforementioned glamour or was it simply living a dream life that she was pleased to leave behind? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Terri Britt.How are you Terri?
Terri Britt [2:33]
I am great David but I have to clarify something for you.
David Ralph [2:37]
Oh, you’ve started already I can see how this is gonna go
Terri Britt [2:40]
It was Miss USA, Miss America that was 1982 might be a little offended if she heard this interview and said well that was me it wasn’t you know i she didn’t win Miss America. She won Miss USA. Miss USA just so for the people that want to know goes on to Miss Universe. I was fourth in Miss Universe. But what I always tell people is that what they say What’s the difference between Miss USA and Miss America? And I said, Well, we have no talent, because
David Ralph [3:06]
that’s just madness. How can the same country have to have two competitions? That makes no sense?
Terri Britt [3:12]
You know, I don’t know how it all started. I know that Miss America is more of a scholarship pageant, and it is about talent. I mean, like 50% is talent. As I said, Miss USA has no talent although I would say that I have lots of talent and but I didn’t it’s just it was funny because I had people say that to me all the time. Well, what’s the difference? And I would say we have no talent but you want to hear what was really funny back then. Because I didn’t realise it back then that I was already starting to break the rules a little bit because I was raised to be a good girl always trying to do right be good do the right thing. But because of my winning Miss USA talking about drinking beer and dipping skull on the on the back of a pickup truck, people automatically thought well, she’s different because I had short brown hair. I mean, I did not look like your typical Miss USA but was funny because over over time, people would say, Well, you know, don’t you have talent, you’re gonna die is I in this was really funny if I was in a dress, I would push my dress down between my legs, I would lift up my foot and I would pinch my nose with my toes.
David Ralph [4:19]
Trying to get this image I got lost with the dress coming down that that that’s how, that’s how my manly mind works. So let’s go through this again. So you take the dress down.
Terri Britt [4:30]
Well, okay, just imagine if you have if you’re a female and you have a dress on, but you don’t want to lift your leg obviously. So I I pushed my dress down between my legs. So I would tuck it in so that I would not expose myself. Then I would pick up my foot and I would pinch my nose with my toes and I would say this is my talent.
David Ralph [4:53]
It’s not quite a talent that I would look for. I’ll be honest, but it’s pretty damn good.
Terri Britt [4:58]
I had a lot of people laughing Year Miss USA doing that. I mean, they would just be in shock. But that was the whole point was that to be different to have fun with it to be in the middle of it because Miss USA travels mostly to middle America and, and I, you know just to connect with people and to have fun I mean people really related to the drinking beer and dipping school. And if you don’t know what school is it’s it’s a tobacco that you put in your lip. I didn’t do it. The guys did it.
David Ralph [5:25]
Oh, what like the old sort of sheriff’s in films spit out. Is that
Terri Britt [5:29]
Yeah. Oh my gosh, yes. And what’s so funny is that here, everywhere I went, they would give me spittoons because the thing you spit into as a spittoon and people would give me that as a gift. I think they thought I was the one dipping and spitting and then I would go into places and I would judge tobacco spitting contest. It was hysterical I received one time I got off a plane and they handed me some flowers. And it had to school is a little round. Almost like a compact type. case and they had it tied to the flowers and the bow it to remind me that you know, this is how I got where I was. Yeah, I mean it was a big deal.
David Ralph [6:10]
Well it was the weird thing about it though and I mean this in the nicest way it’s gonna sound like an insult or maybe it’s a compliment i don’t know i’m treading on dangerous ground here. You actually look younger now than you did in those pictures when when I was looking back to 1982 I wasn’t sure it was the same woman I was looking at now you you aged in a kind of Benjamin Button way you look like you’re getting younger.
Terri Britt [6:36]
Oh my god, I wish I could come through there and kiss you right now. I had somebody on Facebook the other day saw one of my pictures. And they commented, oh, look at those love lines. And I just held I was like, Oh my gosh, that’s hysterical. That’s um, that’s what I’m gonna call my wrinkles now love lines because I’m 53 years old and I yes, I do have love lines and things don’t stand up like they used to stand up but it’s okay because I think what you’re picking up on David as I you’re picking up on back then I was, I was, I would call it tight. I was real tight, I would hold, if you looked at me. And if you went on to YouTube, and you were to look at my interview competitions, you would see me walk up to Bob Barker, and hold my arms tight. I don’t know how to put it any other way. A tone that Yeah,
David Ralph [7:21]
I can see what you’re saying.
Terri Britt [7:23]
Yeah. And it was, it was in maybe a better word as uptight, because I had so many rules in my mind. And you asked about the the conversation with Bob. I think one of the reasons and you’re the first person who’s ever asked me this, one of the reasons that I felt so comfortable in saying what I said is the day before they interview behind the scenes, every contestant just to get to know them because it is a telecast, right, and they are after ratings. So they want it to be entertaining. Well, when the woman asked me it was a woman who was interviewing Made it she asked me. So what is Cabot Arkansas like? And I told her and she goes, Oh my God, that’s great. But I didn’t know that he was going to ask that question. Because we, you know, she interviewed each of us for quite a quite a bit of time so that they could get to know us and they took notes. So it wasn’t a complete surprise when he asked that question. But again, I didn’t know what he was going to ask. So that’s how it was off the cuff the night before, and it was somewhat off the cuff that night of the pageant, but it I can’t say that it was completely off the cuff in that moment of the telecast,
David Ralph [8:33]
but it was you that wasn’t a master key things totally.
Terri Britt [8:36]
Yeah, totally me. I had said it the night before. I mean, and it was true. I can’t tell you how many times through all my school years in high school and you know, even when I be home from college in the summers, and that’s what we did. There was nothing to do. We had two stoplights in this town of 4000 people. So we would cruise up and down Main Street, we go to tasty freeze, and a little Literally my friend would play the banjo. The guys would drink beer I was real straight and narrow back then so I didn’t drink anything but it was it was fun. It was good, clean fun it a lot of memories. So I’m glad I had that experience. I’m glad I got to grow up in a small town and have that experience.
David Ralph [9:17]
So obviously we’re not going to dwell on this forever in a day but I am fascinated how’d you get them? How did you get picked into it? How do you go from a such a small town to get onto this competition? Did you go into semifinals and quarterfinals and things?
Terri Britt [9:29]
Well, what happened was is I had been in the pageant, the Miss Arkansas pageant and a lot of states they have locals, they have local pageants. But Arkansas is a small state. So they don’t do that. Or they may now I don’t know what they do now. But back then you just went straight to the state pageant and I made top five I was looking for a break. I was in my freshman year of college that first year and I really was not in the right place. I was miserable. I felt like I was on a hamster wheel and going to college on scholarship. I followed my boyfriend which was a big no no because it was wanting to get into broadcasting and they didn’t even have a broadcasting department but I completely gave myself up and followed him. So I was miserable. I got into the pageant thinking that this would give me a break. I didn’t get one. Well then the next year, and my sophomore year of college, and this is, you know, this is where I really, I really a seed was planted here because I was in my second semester of my sophomore year and I hated school I absolutely hated but society says, Well, you have to go to college, you have to get your degree you have to do it the way everybody else does it right to have success and happiness. And and I don’t know if it’s with that way where you are, but here in the States, there’s a lot of pressure to do that. And so I was buying into it, but in the second semester, I was at home for the weekend talking to a friend on the phone and I was Sunday afternoon so supposed to be packing up to go back to school and I said, I hate school. I don’t want to go and he says so don’t go and I said, Well, I have to and he said Says who? And David It was like something washed over me. And I was like My God, who’s telling me I have to go. Nobody is telling me I have to go. I bought into this belief. So I got off the phone, I marched into my mom and dad. And I said to them, I can’t do this anymore. I’ve got to move home. I cannot. I cannot stay on this hamster wheel any longer. So I literally moved home that week, quit school, got a job, found somebody to lease my apartment because I had an apartment. And I had no idea where I was going. I really had no idea where I was going. So I started selling shoes and a former Miss Arkansas came in one day I had cut my hair off really short. I lost some weight because I was no longer eating college food right? And she said, Are you going to be in the pageant this year when I and reintroduce myself to her and I and she and I said no, I’m not going to be in it. And she said Why? And I told her that I’d wanted to break and just didn’t feel like there were any opportunities and she said, Well, a production company out of Miami just bought the Miss Arkansas franchise because they’re each owned by individual companies. She said they make commercials. They do all kinds kinds of stuff. She said, you really should consider it. And of course, my little brain started taking it on. Yeah. So I asked my mom to make my dress, she made my dress. I was also selling timeshares on the weekends at a resort. And I went to them and said, will you please do my sponsor fee? They did. And then lo and behold, I won. I mean, it was that quickly I left school I think it was like the beginning of February. I won Miss Arkansas in April. I had to leave for Miss USA within like two weeks. I mean, most girls have months and months and months to prepare. Most girls have tonnes of clothing. I mean, it’s just you know, they’re so prepared and I had nothing. I went to Miss USA and I won by talking about drinking beer and dipping skull in the back of a pickup truck.
David Ralph [12:46]
So how much of it was playing and how much was being authentic when you look back on it now? Well, you just simply faking it to make it
Terri Britt [12:58]
you’re talking about in the Miss USA pageant. Yeah.
Um, I don’t think I was faking it to make it I, as I said, I was really raised to be a good girl and I had gotten to a place where I was getting sick of being a good girl. I was finding my own truth, and instead I didn’t realise it back then. But I was and so I had this thing about honesty in the top five, they said, if you could spread a message to the young people of the world, what would it be? And I said, to be honest with yourself, because if you have honesty, you have everything. So, for me, it was important, but to answer your question, there was only you’re only so you’re only as authentic as you are aware of whether you’re living by your truth or not, and I don’t think most of us are aware that we’re living by our truths. I think most of us just believe that this is the way life is and this is who I am. This is the way it’s supposed to be. So I was authentic enough, but not fully authentic because I didn’t know that there was something different inside of me. Does that make sense? It makes
David Ralph [14:09]
total sense. And I think that is the problem that I think that’s why this shows become so popular that every single day, we talked to somebody who says, I didn’t know, I just kind of did stuff. And I did stuff because my parents told me to, and it wasn’t until something came along, but knocked me off the track. Then I started looking around and I realised what I should be doing or it sent you on to a different path. So I think that’s absolutely true. You can only be authentic until you when you become totally aware, can you when you right, understand what your key values are, what lights you up inside and you start playing the game, because it’s part of the values and then that’s when you become authentic.
Terri Britt [14:54]
Right and I think to answer your question, even on a deeper level, when I won Miss USA in that moment of winning Of course my ego was very excited. I mean, how can you not be excited you just won this major competition. But there was another part of me that it was like that my Spirit speaking to me or something and it said Is this it? Is this it? So there was still an emptiness that was there. I didn’t get it back then I had no clue. I just knew that that you know, I was excited to receive this gift and I had a hard time receiving it and I’m going to tell you a little secret because I haven’t told many people this that night at the pageant after it was over. I was with my boyfriend and we had a very tumultuous relationship. I mean, I at one point, about probably six or seven months prior to winning Miss USA, I put my fist through his or in his kitchen window and cracked it. I had a lot of anger issues, because I was always trying to be good and do it right and trying to to to make him love me the way I want. wanted to be loved because he wasn’t following my rules. I have rules in my mind. So I expected him to follow the same rules, right? That night at the Miss USA pageant. I sat in my hotel room after winning with my mom and dad and the rest of my family and with him and discuss giving the crown back. Because I didn’t know how to receive it. I was more concerned about his feelings, and how it was going to affect him. Because I was playing by the good girl rules. And I almost didn’t receive that crown. Can you imagine?
David Ralph [16:33]
Yeah, well, I can imagine again, because this is a common theme. What you’ve had, you’ve suddenly got a glimpse of the success that you craved. And you are frightened about pulling away from, from what other people expect of you. You’ve been playing that part for so long, but suddenly when you get it, it’s it’s too much for you to deal with. And you see it time and time again, don’t you see people suddenly You get huge success and for some reason, throw it away. They’re just not ready for it at that time because after 20 years of believing in a certain way, Why should one night suddenly make you a different person? I can understand that totally.
Terri Britt [17:12]
Yeah. And and and and that’s exactly what the case was. It was. It was. I didn’t even realise this David until just a couple years ago, because I was looking at that and in thinking about that time, and all of a sudden the memory came back up discussing giving the crown back and I was like, this really happened. And I called my mom and she said, Yeah, did we discuss giving the crown back because I had suppressed it. But that’s where my mindset was, is that I have to put myself on the back burner. I have to make everybody else the authority of my life. That’s, that was the way I live my life. I was always the straight A student, the leader in school, I did everything trying to be the best because I wanted to be seen heard and valued, right. I Push, push, push, push, push. But instead of feeling like I was always the best I felt I felt like I was. I really felt like I was kind of second choice and, and it made me an emotional mess and being in that relationship with Brian, I often wanted him to love me. You know, like I said a minute ago, I wanted him to fill me up. I was always looking for something to fill me up. I thought Miss USA would fill me up. It didn’t fill me up. I thought that working eventually in television would fill me up. It didn’t fill me up. I thought my relationships with men would fill me up. None of those things fill me up. And I didn’t understand it. But when I look back, that I now understand what was going on with myself,
David Ralph [18:41]
and what is the understanding what’s the clarity that you got now?
Terri Britt [18:46]
I was performing. I spent my life performing, trying to win people’s approval, trying to do it right, trying to be good, thinking that this was going to bring me happiness, love and success. I want to To feel connected, I wanted to feel as if I belonged. I wanted to feel as if I were loved. But with everything that I went after, with every person I was in a relationship with, with every job that I got with everyone, there would be a moment. And then it would quickly dissipate. Because it was all about being out in the world and having people tell me I was okay. It was, I think this is what we do in our world. I believe we, as our society, we, we are all on the hamster wheel, trying to do it right, trying to win. I mean, I watch people I work with a lot of moms. And I see moms driving themselves into the ground because they’re trying to do it right by their kids. They’re trying to get them into every dance class, every everything that they can do to help make sure that their children are going to be successful. Mom gets run into the ground, the kids get on the hamster wheel. I mean, everybody’s a mess, and they’re all performing. So that was the realisation of performing is What did it for me is like I am performing for people’s approval and this is not love
David Ralph [20:06]
going deeper into this one and we we go as deep as we want. Why Why do you think that you needed that love? Well it that’s a human state we all want love, but why did you want approval and all those other things that you were talking about? Well where do you think that came from?
Terri Britt [20:25]
My family. My my mom and dad were both there were young mama had me when she was 19 daddy was 21 I believe that anytime we’re searching for approval usually starts with the family. And for mom and dad Mama was a kid who up until she was 10 years old. She was the oldest of eight her mama would tell her go get a switch off the tree. And mama would get whipped with that switch regularly because of what her sisters and brothers did. You know, acting out just being kids. Her mother kept her responsible made her responsible because she was the oldest my dad was very, very poor. He had four brothers, they lived on the side of a barn. He said he they all slept in one bed and they could see through the holes in the wall to see the cows on the other side. And his dad was in and out of prison. He was a raging alcoholic. So daddy would say that his dad would chase him down and beat him up to his dad, he would work as a little golf caddy at the local golf course. And he put some money in his pocket, come home with tips and then his dad, when he was out of jail would chase him down, beat him up and steal his money to go buy alcohol. So both of my parents were programmed to believe that you have to be good, you have to be good. And they instilled that on us. I mean, even as a baby, my mother told me that they made a decision they weren’t going to pick me up because they didn’t want to spoil me they thought that was the loving thing to do and will a baby needs to be picked up until they’re nine months old. That’s the way they communicate when they cry, that kind of thing and they chose not to. So I think there was a lot of pressure programming that I took on back then. And I’ll never forget after I won Miss USA, they gave me a big homecoming parade back in Cabot. And some lady came up to me, she goes, I am not surprised you won. I said, Why? She says, I’ve never seen anyone, any kids act more perfectly than you and your sister. She said, Your dad would just lift his eyebrow and y’all would freeze. So, because dad was the authority in our family, and my mother gave him all the power, she didn’t have a voice, she put herself on the back burner. And you know, she’s the one who really pushed us to be good out of her own fears of survival and trying to do it right. And then dad impressed it on this too. So I think that my my role models were my parents, they and I don’t blame them. I really believe I love my parents. My dad passed away in 95, but I’m very close to my mother, but I wasn’t for a long time when I was younger. I felt like she was impressing on me those good girl rules so much that I got to a point in high school that when she went to hug me I couldn’t even her Standard put her arms around because I was so angry with her that she couldn’t adjust accept me for who I was. And so I think that it came from the family dynamic of what my parents thought love was. And then I took that energy on and took that belief that I have to perform. And I think this is what we do as families. I mean, this is why, as I said, a few minutes ago in our society, people are running themselves into the ground, because they think that’s what you have to do. But when
David Ralph [23:27]
you look back on that, obviously, your kind of branding now is no more good girl rules, be authentic to yourself, love your life. Do you? Do you think that you could have got to this state without that? Do you do you think that you were actually you needed to pull away from the pain and move to the pleasure and So ultimately, they gave you a gift by acting that way?
Terri Britt [23:49]
Totally. Oh my god. So totally. I have a several programmes and I talked about the retrieving the gift of love process and I talked about spiritual contracts because I’m an intuitive healer now. And I remember looking at my agreement with my mother because I believe that spirits we come in with agreements to learn from each other. I absolutely, absolutely 100% emphatically believed that my mother played her part. And that it was part of my, my divine path to tap into my life mission. So I wouldn’t change a thing, David, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am so grateful that my parents play the parts that they have played,
David Ralph [24:27]
is the key thing in life, isn’t it? There’s a key thing that makes Join Up Dots what it is, but, but bad times are the good times the good times at a bad time, no experience is wasted. And I used to mention this because it was real in my mind, but I spoke to a guy and he was about, I don’t know, 30 episodes 50 episodes ago, and he said, David, you know, he said, I’ve never told anyone the best but the last few years, probably last 10 years. Every two years, I would sit there and I would join up the dots of my life. I would look back, and I would colour in the bad ones. And I’d leave the other ones playing and all the way down. And he said, I used to put them in a box. And then the next two years, I would do it again. And I would think to myself, yeah, okay, I got here to there. And I got there to that. And I can see how it all works together. He said, and then one year, I decided to open up the box and look at the earlier ones, and do the exercise again. And he said, and this time, he said, I couldn’t shade in any of them. They were all light dots, that might have been dark at the time. But without that, I wouldn’t have got to where I am now, without that dark moment in my life, I wouldn’t have moved on to where I am achieving what I’m achieving. And he said it is with such powerful reflection that you look back on these dark moments and actually go Thank God, thank God for them. They were so difficult at the time, but I wouldn’t be who I was, or who I am today without but
Terri Britt [25:57]
I absolutely agree with that. And you know, it’s interesting With my life now is, is that and I teach this to my children who are all now grown. And my husband and I practice this regularly to teach it to my students is that no matter what shows up in your life, instead of waiting 10 years from now to look at it and see what the gift is, is to go within now and see what the gift is. And I’ll give you an example when I, I, where I started making my shift and where I realised I was performing was when I became a mother and I started impressing upon my stepson who’s now in his 30s he at that time was about five I started and pressing upon him that he had to be good and I couldn’t stand myself right I could not stand myself and and actually fell to my knees one day crying going, I don’t know how to love you. And that was a big turning point point for me because I knew that the way I was doing family was the way my parents had done family, but it didn’t feel very loving and I wanted to change well. I ended up at an energy school and the energy school because of my house. Going into therapy, my dad died. And then I went into therapy. And the therapist said, Your wound really taught you need to get into meditation. So I ended up at an energy school for meditation and ended up just my whole world opened up, it was amazing. But part of the energy school was that our teacher would put two people together. And our goal was to look at the other person’s energy to see where their blocks are, right? Because our goal was to help them shift. So they could they could move joyfully into their lives rather than feeling stuck. And so but what would happen is, is the teacher would put you with somebody who had a similar story as yours where there was a block and there was pain because she could look at your energy and see it. I mean, she was amazing. So when you would sit with this person, and you’re trying to look because she’d give you a topic of the day and you would look for the energy, and then all of a sudden you find yourself blocked because you can’t see it because the subconscious belief in your mind. And the same picture of the similar picture that you have is the person you’re reading is getting triggered and now you’re emotional. You’re feeling it. So she taught us to clean it. She taught us how to go in and clean up the energy and clean up the original picture that was causing you to be reactionary rather than neutral because to be a good healer you need to be neutral. So as we did this every time I released something I became more joyful. I started finding out what my truth is because you know, as as we all know that we sometimes we don’t even know who we are, we just keep going and living life and thinking as we were talking about earlier about being authentic, but we don’t even know who we are. We don’t know the deep in the depths. So I started looking at that right I started looking at at at those beliefs and the pictures that in the in the memories that were in my subconscious mind that were causing me to be reactionary. Well, through that whole process, I started using it in my family. And I would find that if I was trying to judge my kids or I was mad at my husband, instead of staying in the reactionary state, I would retrieve the gift and I would go within look inside myself and see what is what is this bringing up for me and allow myself Go through the feelings and allow it to take me back as far as I could remember and a lot of times memories would pop up that I didn’t even remember and and go to that place of the original point that was causing me to react in the first place. This was the subconscious belief, and then I would energetically shifted. Well, lo and behold, everything started changing in my life. Everything started changing in my family’s life. I mean, we’re my kids used to fight they quit fighting. I mean, it was amazing. Absolutely amazing. So the reason I share this with you is a lot of times we do we walk through difficult times and then 10 years from now we look back at it will go Oh, I see I see the gift. But why not retrieve the gift now? Why not get it now so that it doesn’t have to be so difficult so that we don’t have to go through that darkness so much. And so that’s a big part of what I do and what my family does is like if there’s something because you know, my my kids are in their 20s and my my three girls I have two and then my lady has passed away. So I remarried and then I have a stepdaughter. So my girls are 2122 and 23. And then my late husband son is in his early 30s. So when I see them, because they’re all going through their emotional angst is trying to figure out life trying to figure out what am I going to do? And then you know, the and then the drama happens at times, and they’re all getting really a lot better about the drama. I mean, they know that they are the creators of their life. But when something comes up instead of having to be so dark, our conversation goes to what is the gift? What’s the gift? What can you Where can this take you go deep within and see what the gift is? And it’s so cool to see them really shift from pain and suffering to joy, knowing that they have that kind of power to change it in that cool.
David Ralph [30:50]
Well, it is cool it’s it’s so many questions going through my mind on this. Obviously I want to respond to what you were saying bear but but first of all, What is mad, isn’t it that we don’t know ourselves? That’s the thing that really comes across on every single show, as you were saying, Ben, but none of us know ourselves. And we should do because we’ve been living in his body for 2530 4050 years, whatever, but we just don’t know ourselves. So what you’re doing where you’re just giving that opportunity just for a moment to reflect and not react, just reflect and actually looking for the clues. And that that’s really powerful, isn’t it? And that’s for all the listeners out there. And I’m going to play some words in a moment that sort of really emphasise this quiet moment and just spending a bit of time thinking about these things. But we don’t in life, do we we just react and when we deal with that reaction, but to actually take yourself out and go Why Why am I actually feeling that what am I actually going to gain from this? Where is the gift as you say? I think that’s amazing.
Terri Britt [31:56]
It is amazing. And if you look at the energy of it, if when we are performing trying to do everything right and trying to and we don’t even know we are but we a good sign that tells you that you’re performing and you’re trying to do everything right is when you’re emotional when you’re in fear. When you’re in anger, resentment, judgement, any of those lower level energies that feel yucky, there is a good chance you’re living by beliefs that tells you you need to be something other than what you are. And, and so instead of judging those feelings, because so often we judge the feelings, we have to say, Okay, my feeling is a gift, it is telling me that something is hurting, just like I was reacting in my classes, you know, and I was no longer neutral. It’s telling me that something needs to shift here. And what happens is, is that if we’ll have the courage to look because most people as we’ve talked about, you just settle, they just continue to go and they don’t stop and look, they don’t pay attention. But if we will pay attention to all of those fears, and then have the courage to say okay, I’m going to go within I’m going to look at myself and I’m going to see what the belief is I’m holding on to that’s causing me to react in the first place. What happens energetically is we move into a high vibration. So often when we’re on the hamster wheel and performing and trying to do it, right, we’re, we’re coming from a space of guilt, if you’re performing, the message you’re sending out to the planet is I’m not enough being who I am. And that’s a guilt energy. Guilt is one of the lowest level energies that you can hold on to. So our goal is to get out of the guilt and move into love. Most people think that by performing this is love, but it’s not love if you’re walking around as an emotional mess. I mean, I used to walk around as an emotional mess. It was not loving me dropping to my knees with my step son and crying. I don’t know how to love you didn’t feel very loving because we’ve been having a fight and I was beating him up emotionally, not physically, but it just, it’s like we have to look at the guilt. That lower level energy if and let me give you an example if, say for instance, if you are a person who is doing, you’re, you’re you’ve done everything that you think you did, you went to school, you’re now working and nothing is feeling, right. You’re performing, you’re performing, you are not honouring and loving the way you were created. And so what happens is, life gets hard because that low level energy of performing attracts more hard energy. So that’s what creates the perpetual cycle of the hamster wheel. But if you say I’m gonna, I’m done, I’ve got to look at myself, I’ve got to take time to look inside of myself. I got to take time to heal. I got to get in touch with my feelings, and let them guide me to what is my truth because I don’t even know what my truth is. And then when you do that, you move into alignment with the way you were created. And in that alignment, you feel worthy. You feel enough, you feel as if you belong, you feel as if you fit you feel so amazing. And then what happens is, as you Open up to receive, and in opening up to receive, that’s when the miracles show up. And that’s a big part of what I teach is, is moving into a place of miracles. Because when we think we’re doing the right thing, but it’s if it’s hard and we’re emotional, it’s not right. But if you can move into a space of your open to receive, you’re receiving guidance, you’re receiving abundance, you’re receiving support, then you are more loving, you’re more joyful, and you can give more, that’s where you really move into service. But most of us think that performing and trying to do it right, trying to make everybody happy, and then you get love and reap turn, they think that’s love, and that service that’s not service if you’re walking around and as an emotional mess.
David Ralph [35:43]
Let’s play some words that really emphasise everything about this whole conversation. And it’s really that moment when you you just know that you’ve got to do something that is you. This is
Jim Carrey [35:55]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so He made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [36:22]
Now, doing what you love is the easy stuff, isn’t it? That’s what we’re talking about. When when you’re pushing, pushing, pushing, and you’re playing the part and you’re performing. You’re not doing the things that you love. That’s when it all comes together. Did you buy into those words?
Terri Britt [36:40]
Which words the ones that Jim said, Yeah,
well, I think I think what he said is amazing. I think he’s absolutely right. I believe that we all we limit ourselves because we don’t believe we are so and this is why I say it starts with the family. Because we come from a space of this is what love is mom and dad put themselves on the back burner and They drive themselves into grit into the ground. They put their kids first thinking this is love. Now, not every family’s that way. But that’s pretty much a typical family. They’re trying to do it right. But what they’re doing is they’re actually setting an example of lack because they’re not honouring and loving the way they were created. So Jim Carrey is talking about his dad, his dad was in survival mode. He was buying from the old belief that this is how you do it as a dad, you you give up yourself, you you have to put your family first you have to do the right thing. But then what happens is, you know, thankfully, for Jim Carrey he figured it out, but not everybody figures it out. Most people feel like this is the way life is. And so they feel like they’re settling. And that’s why we have so much depression, so much anxiety, if we could do like Jim did. And what I’m happy to say that I’ve done is, is to get in touch with ourselves, then we can live differently. We can we can do it differently than our parents did. But I think most people are looking for their parents to tell them it’s okay or maybe They’ve resisted their parents way of being but there’s still subconsciously that little voice in their head that says no you can’t do this no, you can’t have this because they’ve taken on a belief that it’s not possible because that’s the example our family set it so it happens so often I can’t even tell you and you know, I take a lot of people down through meditation go into their subconscious mind. And I cannot tell you how much of these triggers come from childhood
David Ralph [38:25]
Well, I think that want a tagline on this show is joining up how dots connecting our past to build a future and spending time looking back at your you really young self, the really young self that hasn’t been affected by life somehow. And that is the key that’s that’s that’s the safe that you need to open and find your your passion and I believe, and if you can get back to that state and find the things that you loved when money wasn’t an issue and you just love doing them, then that’s got huge clues. And I don’t think I’ve spoken to one person who says to me, but I No, the younger version is nothing like well am now. There are huge connections. There’s huge threads that link us somehow, but we just lose our way in the middle.
Terri Britt [39:11]
I believe you’re absolutely right. And, and you know, you said something earlier about doing what you love. But what I see a lot is that most people don’t know what they love. They’ve lost themselves so much that they have no idea what that is.
David Ralph [39:29]
What do you love?
Terri Britt [39:31]
What do I love? Yeah. You know what I love most more than anything else. It’s the sound. It sounds kind of weird. I love spiritual transformation. I get up every day. And I get grounded in the light and I journal I talked to the other side. I talked to my inner child, and it is the most amazing experience because you feel so connected. You feel so joyful. It’s like no matter what What’s going on in your life? That’s what I love. And that’s why I teach this because I love it so much right? And I love my family but as far as what Terri Britt loves, that’s what I love. And I and here’s a here’s a key, you’re talking about, you know what you love. I had no idea that I love this. I was raised in an area that that spiritual transformation was never talked about. I mean, I grew up in a religious home and religious community was not talked about. And so when I moved to Los Angeles and then as I told you, I got into the spiritual school. It was like, holy crap, I had no idea this existed. So how could I have known what I loved unless I had been willing to explore it’s a kind of brave
David Ralph [40:41]
not brave isn’t the right word. I’m trying trying to think of the word to actually save it. You love something but so many people out there will go What a load of rubbish, that that’s just whoo, whoo. That’s just Hocus Pocus. Did you do find that when when you speak to people do they raise their eyebrows when You say that you, you talking to the other side and all that kind of stuff.
Terri Britt [41:04]
I have had a lot of that. And I have seen the gift in it. Because when I first started this journey, my sister who is really religious said, I’m really afraid you’re working with the devil, and my whole body started convulsing. I knew immediately it was a gift and that I had to go within and clean up my subconscious programming that I had taken on in religion and I don’t knock religion I just think we’ve missed the boat because I happen to I’m Christian and I love Christ. But I just think there’s a higher consciousness message that he was giving and that we’ve missed it somehow. So for a long time, I was terrified. I have to tell you I was really really terrified. I was afraid of being persecuted. I was afraid of of my family being hurt so I had to do a lot of inner work about being okay with sharing this message. If I’m if I’m really honest with you, I had to do a lot of work,
David Ralph [41:57]
but I can imagine you did because Just now how people’s minds minds work. You know, I’m very open minded, no matter what people are doing, I think fair enough. Maybe I don’t understand it, but there’s something in it for them. But that’s not the common approach is it? Most people will look at it and go back bit mad bit mad. I don’t understand it not case.
Terri Britt [42:21]
Well, I mean, the reality of it is, David is that science says we are all energy. I mean, we now know that when I talked about the lower level energies of guilt and, and all those emotional energies that kept you on the hamster wheel, those emotions have now been calibrated by science. This is this is real. I mean, it’s it’s so real. But I think a lot of times people don’t want to believe that it’s real. And that we I mean, there’s been all kinds of studies where people I mean, people believe in prayer, what’s the difference? What is the difference? I mean, because with prayer, you’re asking for the energy to shift. You’re asking for something, a miracle to happen and you’re shifting the energy You’re sending a loving energy to something. So why not? Why not? And and I feel like the reason I went through this because I did I had I had some major stuff. And it was interesting because several years ago I ended up in outside of Florence and I went to a things called senjem. Jaan Yo, I was there to pick up my sister. I mean, my sister, my, my daughter, she had been in the south of Spain at semester abroad. So we decided when I went over there to pick her up that we were going to skip around and we went over to Florence. Well, we ended up out there at this mediaeval city, I walked into a torture Museum, and I started laughing. And I went, Oh, my gosh, this is what I’ve been afraid of. This is I mean, it wasn’t obviously funny that a torture museum. I mean, when you think about all the past things that happened with people, but I just realised that I was holding that energy. That that would happen to me if I stood in my truth about being an energy worker. I mean, that’s how deep seated it was. So when you ask that question, whoo, You hit the nail on the head because it was a big deal for me.
David Ralph [44:03]
But But energy is the thing that we we respond to don’t wait when somebody walks into the room and we say that they light up the room you know that’s energy isn’t it? It’s all it’s all on the positive side. And but but people still don’t buy into it and I’ve had so many conversations I was speaking to jack Canfield the other day the Chicken Soup for the Soul ago and he was talking about the law of attraction and all that kind of stuff. And literally everyone really touches on it. They always say to me, the universe lined up or this thing happened I was in the flow I was and it’s all that kind of that stuff you can’t quite grasp but but it’s there for a reason that people are buying into it and it seems fascinating but the higher up the chain you go people seem to buy into it more than people do who haven’t quite got going whether whether you believe it or not.
Terri Britt [44:58]
Well, I think what happens is as When you talk to a jack Canfield, he practices it, he lives it, he breathes it, he knows that his mind is so powerful. And and so for me, my desire is to be that powerful in my mind and I work on that every day to just hold the energy of I am enough I am love, I am a beacon of light for the universe, I hold these these I am beliefs of believing that I can shift the energy and I didn’t used to be that way. I didn’t used to believe in affirmations I, I kind of struggled with them because it was like I don’t know if I have that kind of power. I’d hear people talk about it. But the more I started believing it and then what I would do is I started looking at if I’m saying it and I don’t believe it, where’s my doubt coming from? What is the belief I’m holding on to that is creating my doubt. And then I would see do the retrieving the gift of love process. Let my fear my doubt. Take me deep inside of me to look at what is the belief I’m holding on to This says I am not enough that I can’t manifest that I can’t co create with God. And what as I cleaned up those beliefs i mean i i manifest so much stuff I could tell you miracle after miracle after miracle of that’s happened in my life. When I started doing this when I made a decision to get off the hamster wheel. It’s it’s been absolutely amazing. And what I discovered is that it’s all really about becoming the Divine Mother to yourself and I and you think well okay, I’m a guy Why would I be the Divine Mother? But what we’re doing is we’re all staying in male energy of push of control, you know, go to war go to battle, and we’ve lost that balance but when we can come back and move into alignment with kindness, compassion, gentleness for ourselves, and move into acceptance to who we are, we are we become the divine mother’s to ourselves and we create a balance and then we take inspired action. So I know if For me, it was interesting as I told you that I had been over in, in Florence will six months knows about five months prior to that I’d been in Spain again. But only this time I was there to have a cutting edge surgery because I had gotten really, really sick and had this weird disease called Chiari malformation. And it’s when the brainstem goes too far down into the spine, and it cuts off your cervical fluids. And what that means is, is you can lose your arms, you can lose your legs, you can you lose your eyes, your ears, I mean, it’s a very debilitating disease. And so in the states here, they go in and they cut out the back of your skull. They go in and cauterise the spine and it’s pretty barbaric. So I kept putting off the surgery, but what I discovered is that I, I couldn’t function I couldn’t load my dishwasher. I couldn’t turn around without feeling like I was going to fall over. I was constantly choking, I would have to tell myself to swallow and so it was getting scary, right I mean, for a while it was just I felt dizzy, but then it started getting really scary. So because I practice loving myself and being the Divine Mother to myself. I said, Okay, God, I said, I’m ready to have the surgery. But if there’s a kinder, gentler way, please show me the way. And David The next day, I was living in Florida at that time, and there was an outdoor mall. My husband and I went over because we went over to have lunch. I saw this dog. I pointed it out to him because he’s a dog nut. We had to go talk to the dog and the lady that was with the dog. I didn’t recognise her, but then her husband walked up. And I said, I know you, I know you because he had done some roofing for us. As we continue to talk, I asked, Are you still in the moat? You know, I think they were the wave running and their son was like, national champion. And and they said, Well, he’s our son’s really sick now. And I said, Really? I said, What’s wrong with him? And they said, Well, he’s got this weird thing called Chiari malformation will I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of this disease, but I had never heard of it until I got it will mine Mouth dropped when I told them that I had their mouths dropped. So of course, we had to sit and visit. And I asked them, I said, you know, is he going to have the surgery? And they said what he’s scheduled in New York at the Kyary Institute, but have you heard about this doctor in Spain? I said, the doctor in Spain, she says, Yeah, he does a cutting edge surgery. They don’t go into the skull at all. You have to be a candidate. But there’s a tendon that connects your tailbone to your spine. And if it’s damaged, it will create the same rigidity on your spine, that that normally would happen at the top. And so you’re having the Kyary. And if you’re a candidate, and it is damaged, they go in and clip it. It’s a 45 minute surgery and you’re out of the hospital the next day. Well, my mouth dropped. Six weeks later, I was a candidate. I was in Spain. The first day there. I’m sitting there, we get to the hotel mid morning, I told Charlie, my husband, I said, I can’t I can’t go to bed. I’m so tired. But I know I’m having the surgery in a couple of days. I want to get my body acclimated. Let’s find Something to do. Well, I got in the hotel brochure and it said monastery tour what I was like, Oh my gosh, Charlie, I said, I’ve been hearing monastery in my meditation for months. What is this? We have to go. So by that afternoon, we were on a bus heading to the mountain of Montserrat. The tour guide says we’re heading to Montserrat. It is one of the seven most sacred mountains in the world. People come here and they often have an encounter with God.
Will Charlie and I were like, holy crap, this is the coolest thing on the planet. You know, we were so excited. So it was about an hour’s drive out there. And we get we’re coming up the mountain and it’s beautiful. All these boulders and I mean, you go pretty high up. I could feel the energy. My husband’s not an energy worker, but he’s very sensitive to energy. We’re looking at each other. What Oh, my God, this is so cool. How did we end up here? So we get up there and see the monastery. And as I’m looking I realised there is a hospital there where people come in to do the pilgrimages well, prior to getting to Spain. I couldn’t make up my mind where I wanted to stay. And Charlie, because his mind was working in mine Wasn’t he said, Honey, if this was you in a normal state of being, you would look at this as a sign that you’re not supposed to book a hotel because I was going to be there for three weeks. And he said, you would take it as a sign to not to not book it for three weeks, just booked something for a couple of days. Well, now I knew why. Because when I saw the hospital, I said, I get it. This is where I’m supposed to stay. I didn’t even know it existed. So I had the surgery, everything went great. got out of the hospital The next day, stayed in Barcelona one more day and then went back to Montserrat. And what I discovered there is that the monastery was all about the Divine Mother, the Divine Mother takes you to God. And I was like, Oh my goodness, because my work is has been a lot around the enlightened mom and the family, right? So I’m like, Oh my gosh, this I had to get brought across the planet, you know, on the other side of the world to be told that this is what happens and I realised it was like, Yes, that’s what’s happened for me. That as I have loved and nurtured myself, as I have accepted myself, I have moved into alignment with God. And that’s where the miracles have shown up. That’s the law of attraction is I’m holding the vibration of allowing miracles to show up. Now what’s really cool is, is that I ended up going back to Spain for my check. I mean, go back to Barcelona for my checkup. And then my daughter was at semester abroad in south of Spain, Charlie had to come back to the States. I went down to see my daughter, I had a week left and I said, I’ve got to go back to Montserrat. So went back, got the same room. And it was this beautiful room with these windows that opened up wide to go out on to look out over the whole mountain. And so one day I started taking a walk. I mean, here I was, you know, if I’ve been in the States, I’d probably still be in the hospital. But I was walking around this mountain and all of a sudden, I felt Christ walking next to me. And, and I was like, okay, cool, you know, and I see him holding this chest, and it’s covered in pearls. So and I’m seeing this intuitive Because we all have this ability I never knew I did until I got into that healing school. But I’m seeing it intuitively because I’ve opened up and I’ve accepted that this is part of you know, as spirit. This is what we’re here to do. So I walk out over this Knoll, and there’s this beautiful cross. And I and I feel like crisis Tell me sit down and open up this chest. And as I opened it up, this light comes flying out. And he said, this is the divine feminine. This is this is the mother that you separated from as a kid because as a very early age, because I was trying to prove that I was good. I got on the hamster wheel of trying to do everything right, be the best be competitive. And I separated from that part of myself. That trip, I took it back in, I brought that back in. And I felt so whole I felt so much acceptance for for the path that I had been on. So you know, you asked earlier about people in energy. How do you question that? When you have an experience like that, it’s like How can you even question? You know, for me I question for years and then after having all of that and being guided over there and seeing the Divine Mother takes you to God and then having this experience with Christ about the divine feminine and what I had separated from and to bring it back in was absolutely amazing. And it was then that I got solid in why I was here.
David Ralph [54:18]
Fascinating. And and for the listeners out there, even if they don’t believe that story, as in in their core, but it can’t fail to see that there’s a positive because of the actions you are taking. You are opening yourself up to those opportunities to come towards you when you
Terri Britt [54:37]
Yes, absolutely. I just kept loving myself. And that’s really what it comes down to the Divine Mother is where we love ourselves unconditionally. And I believe that most families because they want their children to survive, they want them to be they want them to be successful and happy. They try to mould and make their children to be a certain way thinking that’s what’s going to bring them success and happiness but In essence, it’s really setting them up for failure. So when we can love ourselves unconditionally as parents, or just as individuals, you don’t have to be a parent. You know, just to start loving yourself unconditionally and to, to nurture yourself to, to be kind and gentle to yourself to have compassion for yourself, then we can move into alignment. And you can call it whatever you want. You can call it synchronicity. You can call it whatever you want, it doesn’t matter. I just know that miracles show up when you do that.
David Ralph [55:28]
Well, this is the end of the show. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Terri Britt, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m gonna play the theme tune and when it fades you up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [55:55]
The best bit of the show A
Terri Britt [56:11]
little teary. I see little Terri Britt and she’s about five years old. What I would say to you is that you are enough. You are an image of light and love you, you have every right to be who you are. You are worthy of support. You are worthy of miracles. You You don’t have to keep performing. You don’t have to keep doing it right. All you have to do is be you and I’m giving you permission to be that way. I’m giving you because I know that I am your Divine Mother and I give you permission to to be you. Because the greatest gift you can give anybody is just to be you. And to be that example for other people, and I know it’s scary. I know it’s scary. I know it’s scary. I know that you want so much to be loved. You want so much to feel connected, you want so much to trust that everything is going to be okay. And I know you worry, I know you worry a lot about the future. I know that you get terrified at times. But what I want to tell you is that if you will just keep loving yourself keep being you because you are enough. You are so cute. Got that little curly blonde hair and those big brown eyes and you are so cute. And you are so sweet. And you’re so kind and I know sometimes you don’t think you are sometimes you think you’re mean and sometimes you see yourself lashing out but that’s just because you’re hurting. So from now on, we’re going to be kind to you, we’re going to be we’re going to be really gentle with you. And I’m going to be here for You are going to be here every step of the way. So that you feel protected and you feel loved. And I just want you to know that I do love you and that you are enough.
David Ralph [58:13]
Terri Britt, how can our audience connect with you?
Terri Britt [58:17]
Terri Britt.com, and I also have a gift I would like to give everybody it’s a meditation. It’s the meditation tool that I started out with and I use every day is called grounding in God’s light and it’s not a religious thing. It’s just about opening up to the light. So if you go to Terri Britt.com forward slash the word grounding gr o u n di n g and then dash or hyphen whichever one you call it, and then the word meditation, me di ta ti o n, I would love to give everybody a gift and and help you get calm and centred. I want you to feel that you are enough and this is the best way to get started is to start taking to Time to do a meditation and get that connection going.
David Ralph [59:04]
We will have over links on the show notes. Tammy, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up, because I do believe that by joining up the dots, and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Terri Britt, thank you so much.
Terri Britt [59:21]
Thank you, David. I’ve loved being here. Thank you.
David Ralph [59:26]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcast is mastery.com.
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