Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast with Tim Conley
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Introducing Tim Conley
Tim Conley is todays guest on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
He is known as one of the top direct response marketing consultants in the startup and online entrepreneurship communities.
He’s famous for generating for his clients six and seven figure revenue breakthroughs, and doubling their time off, all while they live, work and play anywhere in the world.
And isn’t that we all want. The ability to blend work and vacations, so one becomes the other and vice versa.
As a coach, adviser and mentor to over 400 founders (plus several hundred Foolish Adventure students), he has developed systems for helping entrepreneurs discover their strengths, build their authority and skyrocket their revenue.
How The Dots Joined Up For Tim Conley
In 2004, he moved away from Portland, Oregon and finally broke free of in-person consulting, and since that time, Tim has made use of mobile technologies to allow him to live, work and play anywhere, too.
Just recently he spent a month travelling around Bali while running his high-end mastermind (global).
He coached 3 entrepreneurs (2 in US, 1 in Australia) and finished up a consulting project for a client in China.
Through his posts, podcasts and coaching, he will help us all do the same.
Gain the freedoms of Time, Income and Mobility by transforming your business.
He has a passion for living, enjoying himself, inspiring others and saying goodbye to the self limiting thinking that traps so many of us.
So how did he grasp the ultimate productivity mind-set that works so amazingly well to achieve the big goals and the big life experiences too?
And does he look at the world in general and think “Put on new glasses people…you just can’t see what time you are wasting!”
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Tim Conley
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Tim Conley as:
How he remembers being poor at the age of seven when he would watch television and think “Why haven’t I got what these people have?”
Why he loves being able to travel across the world, and still being in contact with his clients even in the most far flung places.
The reasons why he feels that the world is held back from a lack of training in how to accept responsibilities in our own lives.
Why it is so important to surround yourself with the type of people that you want to be in life, and you will be amazed at the momentum you make.
How he ended up in the air force, even though he hated being told what to do, didn’t want to kill anyone, and wanted to live a full life…..not the wisest decision he ever made.
How To Connect With Tim Conley
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Tim Conley Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcasters mastery.com, the premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now at podcasters mastery.com.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:33]
Yes. Hello, everybody and welcome to join up dots This is Episode 342. And it’s gonna be a good one today, if I can get through it. I’ll be honest with you. I’ve just walked down a Carrey which on the packet as I was heating it in the microwave, it said this is very hot, but where and my tongue feels about four feet wide at the moment. So if I say anything bizarre, and I know I’m known for saying things bizarre, but is it I’ve kind of got Carrey poisoning at the moment. But let’s introduce you to today’s guest because he’s known as one of the top direct response marketing consultants in the startup and online entrepreneurship communities. He’s famous. Now this is where he’s really famous, but generating for his clients six and seven figure revenue breakthroughs, and doubling their time off while they live, work and play anywhere in the world. Now, isn’t that what we all want the ability to blend work and vacations so one becomes the other and vice versa. Now as a coach, advisor and mentor to over 400 founders, plus several hundred foolish venture students, he’s developed systems for helping entrepreneurs discover their streams, build their authority, and skyrocket their revenue, that in 2004, he moved away from Portland, Oregon, and finally broke free of in person consulting. And since that time, he’s made use of mobile technology to allow him to live work can play anywhere to that just recently spent a month traveling around Bali while running his high end mastermind. He globally coached three entrepreneurs to in us one in Australia, and he finished up a consulting project for a client in China. Now for his post podcasts and coaching, he will help us all do the same gain the freedom of time, income and mobility by transforming your business sounds too good to be true doesn’t. Now he has a passion for living, enjoying himself inspiring others and saying goodbye to the self limiting, thinking back trap so many of us. So how did he grasp the ultimate productivity mindset but work so amazingly well to achieve the big goals and the big life experiences, too? And does he look at the world in general and thing put on new glasses, people? You just can’t see what time you’re wasting? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start join up dots with the one and only Mr. Tim Conley. How are you, Tim?
Tim Conley [2:55]
I am well David Thanks for having me.
David Ralph [2:57]
It’s great to have you here. And he is a that you are here because we were talking just before recording, you allow technology to kind of run your life. If you had a power cut. Would you be would you be screwed?
Tim Conley [3:11]
No, I would have a day off.
David Ralph [3:14]
So it’s quite as flexible as that.
Tim Conley [3:16]
Yeah, yeah. Maybe I would miss miss a few appointments and miss a few meetings. But other than that, I would still have a pretty good day.
David Ralph [3:27]
Is Your Life pretty good? Because it seems when I was reading that introduction. And it’s kind of like the life that I think most people would like, but I can’t quite believe that they can get. Most people are still in that mindset that you go to work, you get up, you commute, you come home and all that kind of stuff. And you kind of really shaken it to its core. So is every live day in your life great. Or do you still have days when you mean Oh my God, I think it would have been easier to go to an office every day.
Tim Conley [3:59]
Oh, never never that go to the office every day. Oh my gosh. I think every day is a great day. A part of part of my background. I was at 22 years ago this this next month, I fell off a mountain and fell about 23 meters. So I survived that shattered my ankle couldn’t walk for almost a year. And from that, from that moment after surviving that every day that I actually wake up is a pretty good day. So cuz I know what it’s like to almost die.
David Ralph [4:40]
So what mountain was it then Tim? Cuz it was it was a big one or a little one?
Tim Conley [4:46]
Oh, a little a little one in that it was I was about 300 feet up from the base. What is that? About 90 meters above the base? So but it only takes a few feet actually kill you?
David Ralph [5:02]
Well, oh, yeah, he does. I think that’s quite simple simply to put. But what were you doing? Were you actively climbing it? Did you want to get to the top? Or were you coming down and you fail what was happening?
Tim Conley [5:16]
Well, I was putting up a new a new route as a rock climber and and what I was actually doing was trying to impress a girl. That’s what I was trying to do.
David Ralph [5:28]
That always brings us down, doesn’t it?
Tim Conley [5:31]
Well, you know, it kind of worked. Because about nine months later, she married me.
David Ralph [5:37]
So what was she a nurse? or was she the lady that you landed on? How did this work?
Tim Conley [5:43]
Well, I was I took I took this girl out to go rock climbing and taught her how to repel and, and I was trying to impress her by showing how I could climb up a cliff and, and all this stuff. And and I i did pay attention to the quality of the rock that I was on because I was more interested in showing off.
David Ralph [6:07]
And then she looked back on that and go You haven’t changed at all, you’re still
Tim Conley [6:15]
to it to a certain extent. That didn’t take a little bit of a piss and vinegar out of me.
David Ralph [6:22]
So when he Are you generally somebody that will take risks? Are you somebody that would like to take calculated risks? Are you somebody that would jump out of airplanes and bungee jump and all those kinds of things?
Tim Conley [6:36]
Well, possibly, I’ve got I’ve got after that fall, I actually do have a bit of issue with falling now. So jumping out of a plane and bungee jumping, have no real place in my life. But other kinds of risks. And I’m definitely interested in I took up. I hadn’t ridden a motorcycle since I was a teenager. So I few years ago, I started riding motorcycles again, and I saw I’ve traveled across the western states of of the United States, on by motorcycle by myself. So so in a way I guess they still do take, I do take calculated risks. Depends on how much awesome is included with it.
David Ralph [7:16]
Right. Okay, so if something was mega awesome. So it was like beyond anything, would you get really risky? Or are you still wonder pink now hang on that there’s a ceiling here.
Tim Conley [7:30]
There, there is a ceiling because because they got close to it, I got close to that edge at the 22 age of 22. So I got really close to it. And and so so I know what it’s like. But I don’t know if the right thing came along. And and I knew I was definitely risking my life. But the odds of survival were fairly high. And I thought it would improve my life from it, that I would just really enjoy it, I would still do it
David Ralph [8:02]
now is not going to improve your life is if you’re going to die, he is not going to improve your life. Is it?
Tim Conley [8:09]
Right? Right? The dying part? No, that doesn’t improve your life. It’s the surviving it part. I think that does nobody
David Ralph [8:17]
shows if you put these, you know, like those lunatics that walk between buildings on a rope, and there’s no net and everyone’s going, Oh, that’s so amazing. No, it’s not it’s just stupid because I might die. And I don’t see getting that close to the age being anything about improving life. He’s just one step away from despair. Isn’t it and and death?
Tim Conley [8:40]
Possibly. Yeah. But But I think that’s, I think that’s something that we do as, as a modern species. We don’t have any real problems, especially in the West. We’re very wealthy countries, we have relatively low amounts of violence and and daily lives to the extent that many people go through their entire lives never experiencing any violence whatsoever. By using that end. Yeah, yeah, it is good. The problem is, is that I think we’re evolutionarily wired to expect violence at any minute. So when there isn’t any, we make up things to be bad in our lives. And I think that’s one of the biggest problems that we have going on in, in modern society back back in the 80s, you know, with the john Hughes movies, you know, 16 candles and all that stuff. Those it was all about the boredom of the youth. Yeah, they were just bored. But it’s not that they were bored it’s that they had nothing really productive to go into that still excited them that still tapped into that, that primal urge to test yourself against the, in the environment.
David Ralph [10:00]
Did you see that? It was 30 years ago, I think a couple of weeks ago about The Breakfast Club was released. And like I Gosh, I was
Unknown Speaker [10:07]
David Ralph [10:08]
Yeah, two years ago and other than the teacher who’s now dead, like they got them all together. And you know, the geeky ones are coming what his name is who was also in Weird Science. Yeah, whatever his name Anthony whole Anthony Michael Hall.
Tim Conley [10:26]
Yeah, Hall. Yeah.
David Ralph [10:28]
After this go and Google Anthony Michael Hall. Now you will not imagine how he looks now.
Tim Conley [10:35]
Yeah, it’s crazy. The what time will do to
David Ralph [10:38]
you somebody that is very close to the younger version of yourself. And obviously, we’re going to delve into your business side and your business acumen. But it’s the team that we’re speaking to now who is looking for a ceiling risk? Is he the same as the young Tim?
Tim Conley [10:54]
Oh, definitely not, definitely not. And thankfully, there’s a bit of wisdom that kind of kicked in over the years. But there’s still there’s still that direct connection to that, to that little kid who grew up in a rural poor area, and was worried about what he was going to eat that week in there. They’re still there still. That that fear that I had as a kid that’s still kind of tapped into today. I don’t think you can ever get away from your formative years.
David Ralph [11:28]
Well, why did you have that faith and as a kid, but you weren’t going to eat and stuff.
Tim Conley [11:32]
Oh, we were poor. Just that, oh, I lived in a really a trailer. You guys would call a caravan. Really small, really small trailer and with mom and a dad and and a brother and my room that I shared with my brother was just big enough to stick a bunk bed into so he was he you got the top bunk I got the bottom bunk, and there was just enough room to walk into the room. That that was that was what I grew up in. And all I got the you know, all the stories of like, hand me down clothes and all that stuff. That’s, that’s what I wore, I had a great time living out in the country where I could just go and play and, and, and burn off a ton of energy. I was diagnosed then as a child with hyperactivity, which today they call add back, that they said I should be on drugs, and it would settle me down. But my mom, you know, we lived out in the country said she would just rather have me, you know, just run around and burn off the energy out out in the country. And that’s what I did. And I had a great time with them. But I, but at the age of seven, I realized I was poor. Most most kids, they talked about how when if they were poor, that they didn’t know they were poor, because everyone else around them was, was in the same situation. But for me, I really understood what it was. I could see on TV that there was a whole world of abundance out there. And I had none of that. In my life.
David Ralph [13:15]
Do you buy that? Did I know you might watch TV and you see that TV as a child is fantasy world? Isn’t it? D Did you look at that and go? Why not? Me?
Unknown Speaker [13:26]
Yes. That. It,
Tim Conley [13:29]
it struck me at the age of seven. It’s still like to this day, at the age of seven, I realized that, that there was this big wide world out there. That was completely amazing. And, and I got none of it. And, and I wanted I wanted my piece of that I wanted to experience it. I wanted to travel the world and see it. I wanted to taste exotic foods. I wanted to have expensive cars. I wanted to I wanted the whole thing.
David Ralph [14:02]
And now you’ve got back. Does it make you happy?
Tim Conley [14:06]
Oh, no, absolutely not. The travel does. The travel still excites me going going to different places in the world and meeting different people from around the world that still excites me. I love that. Like I’m gearing up to spend a month in Spain coming up. And and then again, I’ll travel to Asia in the fall. So So yeah, I still love still love travel. So and really enjoy that.
David Ralph [14:33]
So your life? Or when does vacation become work and work becomes vacation? Is it simply just the blend? Can you literally say, right? I’m going to go to Spain for three months. And while you’re out there thing, I’m loving it so much I stay for another two months, or do you actually have to come back to stop?
Tim Conley [14:52]
Oh, yeah. Well, I would if I if the visa issue was easy. Yeah, you know, the whole 90 days for Americans coming into the
zone, I’d have to like jump out after 90 days go up to the UK or something. But I yeah, I can live that life. If I if I want I can spend go anywhere and do do my work. And I’ve set things up. The one thing that I that I did change just this year, because I just got lazy about scheduling my time, over the last, say five years, where it was just sort of a blend. So was I working? Or was I on vacation? I don’t know. I’m doing them both. And and this year, I I guess my new year’s resolution was that I was going to go back to scheduled vacations. And so I went in and blocked out my calendar. So my clients can’t get on my calendar for for all of July, I’m taking all of July off of work, I may do some writing because I’m working on a book. And then I’ve got all of December, blocked off on my calendar. I did it that that far in advance. And I’m taking a couple of other weeks off in between just and I’ve got them blocked off on my calendar so that so that none of my clients can book book any work with me.
David Ralph [16:15]
And then did I try to break into that? I you very precious. Have you got it. So sort of regimented now, but when you say to your clients, for a whole month, you can’t get me by kind of go Okay, Tim, that’s fine. Yeah,
Tim Conley [16:29]
yeah, that’s, that’s the amazing thing is we grow up thing, because we’re raised in these environments where we have all these authority, authority figures over us. And they all tell us what to do. From the time we’re born until while for most people until they die, they’ve always got someone telling them what to do. And, and so you, you get into this form of thinking that well, this is just how things are. And, and I don’t get to choose, and I who am I to be the one to tell other people how I get to live. And, and I’ve always wanted to live by my rules. I hated being told what to do. And, and I still do, I am still that little kid, that’s probably
You’re not the boss of me. And,
and so what I learned being an entrepreneur was that you get to choose when, where and why you actually work. And other people will go, Okay, that makes sense.
David Ralph [17:40]
And it’s fine. It This is brilliant. As I’m sitting there listening to you talk, I think to myself, This is what I want, this is what I want. And I’m certainly working towards that. But there’s still a kind of mindset isn’t there, but you go in the go buy into what Tim saying, totally, this is what I want. But people won’t allow this to happen. And it’s true. What you’re saying is a mindset, isn’t it, we’ve set this up. But there’s always going to be emergencies. We’ve always got to be connected on Facebook and email, we always have to have our phone with us, just in case somebody needs to get us. But if you turn it off, and then just walk away and see what happens for a couple of days, more often than not, nothing does. But you still feel like you’re connected.
Tim Conley [18:25]
Right? Right. That the connectivity seems to be a good thing.
I love the fact that communication has gotten so good that I can sit in a cafe in Chiang Mai and work with a client back in the States or in Europe. And, and I’m having I’m having a latte in a cafe. In a in a country that’s completely foreign to me, I can’t speak the language. And I’m still doing my job with my clients. And they’re somewhere in a different part of the world. That that still blows me away. Love that. But I realized that I’ve got a smartphone. And it’s it’s got apps and all this cool stuff. It’s a it’s one of the neatest gadgets ever invented. And yet it’s a big anchor in my pocket. Yeah, this which is ridiculous. So so I just started taking apps off of it. I’m actually thinking about going back to an old flip phone that doesn’t have any smart features whatsoever just texting and and the phone which I almost never use the phone feature anymore. It’s almost only texting at with family and friends said the The only thing that I would probably miss is is the messenger app on on my phone is a lot of my friends. That’s what that’s what we use to communicate with with each other. And that’s it that’s all I that’s all I want is the ability to just text those kind of things back and forth. And that’s all I would need the phone for. And and emergencies like real emergencies car broke down. gotta call a tow truck, that kind of that kind of thing. That that’s it. And
David Ralph [20:20]
honestly, if a car breaks down my I don’t own a mobile phone, I don’t own a cell phone. I don’t own a phone at all. And I’m always talking about this because people find it a bit strange. But if you break down, somebody stops by the side of you that’s got that phone just use is you don’t you don’t need to have one at all.
Tim Conley [20:39]
Sometimes, sometimes, but I think I’m kind of a jerk. Because when I go by and I see somebody who’s pulled over my first thinking years ago, I would have just pulled over and helped. Now I think I’m they’ve probably already called the tow truck. Do you that is the Yeah, that first thought in my head because they’ve got a phone in their pocket I have
David Ralph [21:01]
out you know that you haven’t driven past me.
Tim Conley [21:05]
But then that’s why I said I think I’m kind of a jerk because I would say, Well, he’s your cell phone on him.
David Ralph [21:12]
Yep, turn diamond. Yeah. You’ve turned over the years.
Tim Conley [21:15]
Yes. Yes. That’s what I said. The the idea of connectivity on the surface seems fantastic. But there’s I think there’s a loss of humanity in it. Not not just my own me being a jerk. Right. But, but just that. I think we lose the connection with it. And that’s why I’ve been just turning things off. I actually I don’t even keep the ringer on my phone. It’s on vibrate. So if I don’t even have the phone on me, I won’t even know it’s ringing. Because it’s on vibrate. I leave it on vibrate. 24 seven.
David Ralph [21:55]
Because I would hate that it would make me jump if it goes off surely.
Tim Conley [21:59]
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I don’t want it. I don’t want that interrupting my life. And and yeah, maybe maybe an emergency happens. But I’ve been doing this for years. And
there hasn’t been a single emergency. Right?
David Ralph [22:14]
Tim Conley [22:17]
maybe there will be one. But I don’t want to live my life. always worried about well, what if something bad happens? Well, I want to live something good happening. That’s what that’s how I want things to be. And let the emergencies be emergencies that they come in completely unexpectedly, and then I’ll deal with them, then I don’t want to live my life, always worried about an emergency. Because I know I don’t want to waste. My second chance. Right, I fell off this mountain. I don’t want to waste that second chance.
David Ralph [22:51]
Let’s play some words. And then we’re going to talk about how you actually got to this point. But the reason why I like to play on the show every day. And nice was said recently, Hollywood actor Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [23:02]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [23:29]
Now you bought into that totally Avenue is not even a chance for you you have bought into. Let’s do it the way I want to let’s do the thing that I love and enjoy every day.
Tim Conley [23:41]
Yeah. I think the lesson and what Jim Carrey is saying is that you’re going to suffer the consequences no matter what. You’re going to have consequences no matter what choice you make. So you might as well have fun along the way. The one thing when none of us like to think about is that we’re going to die. It’s sad, it sucks. But we’re going to so why why would you waste it? waste the this these few precious precious moments we have on this planet? Doing something you hate? Or even even just as bad doing something that doesn’t excite you.
David Ralph [24:27]
But people do. Tim don’t know. Tell him? Yes. That’s the reason the whole show was created to inspire people to listen to people like you and think, like you were when you were seven watching the TV, why not me? Why can I be like Tim, why can I have that that life? r1.
Tim Conley [24:45]
Right, exactly. And, and a lot of this is a lot of people want to avoid the consequences, that what if it goes wrong, they don’t want to take responsibility. And part of this is your peoples condition. You don’t ever have responsibility as a child, you don’t have responsibility as a teenager, you don’t have responsibility. As an a young adult, you don’t have responsibility as an adult, because someone is always there telling you what to do. And you can live your whole life and never actually have to make a decision ever. And you can just you’ll just listen to what other people tell you to do. And so one of the first steps to freedom is taking responsibility for for your life. Where you are is your choice you got here by your own doing. When you’re a kid, you don’t have any choice. The choices are all handled by other people. But But even when I was a kid, I was already making plans, I was making plans for how I was going to see the world I was going to have my choices. And when I got when I got when I grew up when when I was a grown up, I was going to have my choices. And and I made some bad choices. Because I didn’t know what to do. And that was the the the downside of being a kid is if you don’t have the right mentors in your life, you will end up making some bad choices. And one of mine, it was partially good. Partially bad was I went into the military because I wanted to travel the world. And that was the only way I could think of for a poor kid to go travel the world was to join the military. And and for someone who does not like being told what to do. I was going to say military is not a good place for
David Ralph [26:31]
that. I wanted to be polite and say Tim, will you mentor? I can’t.
Unknown Speaker [26:37]
David Ralph [26:38]
yeah. Holy Place, which would be worse suited for you. Other than maybe behind the counter in McDonald’s where you’re being shouted at all the time.
Tim Conley [26:46]
Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. The the at least with the at least with McDonald’s, you can quit and go somewhere else. Yes. Right. But in the military, you can’t quit. you’ve signed up for you’ve signed up and you don’t get to quit you have to stay until they say you get to go. And and how long was it
David Ralph [27:05]
until you went? Hang on this is a bad idea.
Tim Conley [27:08]
Ever. As soon as I got to basic training that very The moment I got off the bus at at the Lachlan to Air Force Base in Texas, I was like, this was a mistake. It was two o’clock in the morning. And and I climb off this bus and they’re immediately yelling, I’m not even off the bus yet. And I hear all this yelling. And I’m like, I’ve made a mistake. I am in the wrong place.
David Ralph [27:37]
And so how long did you put up with it? Well, what was your term?
Tim Conley [27:42]
Well, I was in for four years here. I was sentenced to four years in the military. It was it was actually a good growing experience for me. So I can’t really complain too much about the military. It we just weren’t, you know, good for each other. But there were certain things that I got out of it. That that were that were fantastic. But I was in for four years, I fell off the mountain and, and was getting medically discharged because I can’t ever run ever again. And so they were going to medically discharged me. And that should have only taken like a couple of months. But my paperwork got lost. And so I didn’t actually get out of the military until three months after I was supposed to be out of the military. So my I actually served four years and three months.
David Ralph [28:36]
And what were you in, you were in the army, the Navy was in
Tim Conley [28:39]
the Air Force, I was in the United States Air Force.
David Ralph [28:42]
That’s the easiest one out of all of them in that
Tim Conley [28:44]
I specifically picked it. Because I did not want to get killed. For one, I didn’t want to die. So nor did I want to kill anyone. I just wanted to travel the world. And so that’s why I was joining. So I specifically looked at, at the opportunities of of which branches would give me the ability to travel, the Navy probably would have been the best one. But I just didn’t want to kill anyone. And so I I specifically chose the Air Force, because I knew I’d never be on the front lines, if there was ever a war, I would never be on the front lines. So I wouldn’t ever have to be put into that moral situation of Should I shoot this person or not. And I specifically chose it. So a lot of people in the military, you know, my other, my other brothers and arms kind of get on to me about that. Some have called me a coward and all the stuffs like No, I just never wanted to kill people. And and that’s what the military is designed to do. Hopefully in only in the form of defense. But, you know, you know, I don’t want to get too political here. But the United States is not you the military as a form of defense since World War Two. So I didn’t want to be in that position. So I chose not, I chose the Air Force specifically for that reason. And, and I guess I got what I deserved, because I didn’t get to travel. They sent me they sent me to Texas, and then they sent me to Arizona,
David Ralph [30:20]
they did is one of the most brilliantly awful things that you could have possibly done. Really, when when you talk about making a decision that is bad. The fact that you don’t like to take orders, you don’t like to be killed, and you don’t like to kill other people. You only did it to have an extended holiday and you ended up in Texas and Arizona. It there was somebody looking down on you wasn’t there.
Tim Conley [30:44]
I didn’t see, I guess you could say that a bit of a bit of karma maybe. But like I said, I was really ignorant. And I didn’t have any mentors. The only way out from all the people that I was around, the only way out was either either University, which I just did not want to spend any more time in school, I had a full ride scholarship, but I just didn’t want to spend any more time in school. And, and this is the only other way out, especially to travel when you didn’t have any money was the military. That’s the only thing I could think of. And afterwards, I learned No, it’s actually pretty easy to travel the world. But at the time, that was the only information I had. So I said what was he
David Ralph [31:31]
one of those moments that you look back on? And you go? Yeah, he actually led on to things although it was a bad.it was a black.on my join up dots timeline, I can actually look back on it and say I probably learned more from it, then but good times.
Tim Conley [31:47]
Well, how many 19 year olds can say that they were in charge of a multi million dollar project?
David Ralph [31:55]
Well, not many, but how many people end up being shouted out before and after he is
Tim Conley [32:02]
a pretty much everyone in some in some manner. You know, granted granted, you only get shouted at during training. There’s this idea in the military Have you break the person down the breakdown the individual so that you can build up a team player. And and to a certain extent it does actually work? It’s that it’s that they they give responsibility. Not just give it they demand it like the rules are set up, you have to do it right. So most most kids 19 year old kids, there’s they’re still doing nothing. Maybe they’re taking some classes a uni right. But that’s it, they’re not doing anything else. And and here, here I am 19 year old, and one of my very first big projects was to get recertified our water laboratory on the base, I studied it, I was the one in charge of it. And no one else in my office really understood how the laboratory worked. And they just left it to me to get it solved. And I went through the process of explaining to the government officials that came in to verify that everything was up to standards, and I got us recertified as as a laboratory, so that was like one of my very first projects. As a 19 year old, I was forced into public speaking by my office because no one even my captain in my office didn’t like public speaking. So here here, I was the youngest person in the office, and they would send me around the base to go do public speaking. I did training courses, I spoke in front of generals and colonels and, and all this stuff. And, and it was me like I was in so many rooms where I was the only enlisted person, I had one stripe on my sleeve. Everyone else was all officers. And I commanded their respect, because I knew what I was talking about. And and that kind of experience. Oh my gosh, I would never trade that for anything in the world. I’ll take the yelling over and over again.
David Ralph [34:24]
So it was a fast track training calls. But But did it instantly allow you to go into civilian world and get on your bike and start enjoying yourself? Or was there a transition from that point? To you really finding your thing?
Tim Conley [34:41]
Oh, yeah, I think I think there’s always a transition I and I hope there’s always a transition I really do. Because life would be really boring if this is it. Like, yeah, we talked about how my life seems so amazing. But I bet it could be more amazing, right? That’s how I want to, you know, I’ve spent 44 years on this planet, and it’s gotten better, all 44 years. So I’m thinking maybe the next 44 years, how amazing will that become. So I’m really hoping more transitions occur. So again, we always make decisions. This whole join up dots which is based, I believe, is based on the Stanford commencement speech by Steve Jobs
so so you can’t join up dots
good looking forward, you can only join them up looking back. So there’s so you can’t ever second guess your past. So so like, as you said, it was kind of like a kind of the military is kind of a black dot. Well, in certain aspects, it was, I didn’t get what I was what I wanted, but I got something better. You know, I got to grow up in a structured environment that made me responsible for things made me responsible for a multi million dollar projects, had me develop the confidence to speak to people who were, quote, unquote, far superior to me. And in and in rank, definitely superior to me. And, and yet, so so it can’t be a black.on my life, even the bad parts in my life. They, they all ended up leading somewhere else. So so you can’t really second guess your past. You can you can kind of regret a few decisions. And I think that regret is a bit healthy. As long as it spurs you to do something better with your life. I think you should regret a few things in your life. And if you and if you don’t regret anything in your life, you haven’t tried hard enough.
David Ralph [36:52]
Yeah, I think that’s true. And let’s bring on Steve Jobs and hear from the man himself is Steve
Steve Jobs [36:58]
Of course, it was impossible connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [37:33]
Now to you He has made all the difference, isn’t it because you are on the well off the well worn path. Basically, you aren’t doing your own thing. But so many people who is listening to this, this show today will probably think how is he actually done it? How is he actually managed for his clients to have six and seven figure revenue breakthroughs, doubling their time off while they live, work and play anywhere in the world? How has he he’s to break down other people’s mindsets? And that’s because you’re not on the path or you’re not on the path that everybody else goes on.
Tim Conley [38:07]
Right? Right, it would be it’d be difficult to tell people go follow this path over here. But I’m not going to walk it myself. Hmm.
David Ralph [38:16]
So how do I buy into that man? Because that’s the key thing to this whole conversation, I think, how is it like for you to change your mindset? But how do you break their mindsets down so that they can see that they can quite simply have their cake and eat it?
Tim Conley [38:33]
Well, I think part of it is that the no one comes to me who doesn’t already have that desire. If you’re if you want to build revenue breakthroughs in your business, and you want to stay trapped in your business, there’s loads of consultants that can do that for you, you can go hires McKinsey, you can go hire Deloitte, you can go hire one of those other big consulting firms to come into your company. And, and they’ll give you exactly that, they’ll give you more company, they don’t necessarily work, nor do they even care about you being free. And so the so my clients, they’re choosing me, because that’s what I preach, a lot of entrepreneurs want, they became entrepreneurs, because they thought it would give them freedom. And they found that they didn’t, they didn’t automatically become free, many of them just became more trapped. Yeah. And but they still believe that entrepreneurship is one of the fastest ways to, to freedom. And, and I believe it like full full on, I’m a true believer. And so that’s what I preach, I go and preach this. And so that brings people to me that want that in their companies, they want to break free of them. And, and that’s that’s what I sat down to do. We’ve find out what they want out of life. And then we we map out how to get there. And and because you can’t. So so one of the excuses. And this may be a tangent. One of the excuses is that, well, I’ve made all these decisions, and my life is like this now. So I can’t just change on that, in a way that’s kind of true. You got to make the decision to change that’s that can be done in an instant. But then you still need a map to get to, to the new path. You can’t just quit this path and and you’re just magically transported to the new path. That that doesn’t happen. You gotta you gotta take the journey to that new path.
David Ralph [40:44]
And people can’t see that. But can they Tim that’s that’s the thing. You know, people can’t see that until they’re actually on that path. And they’re actually walking it. And as they start walking along that path, they start to look around and saying, hang on, hang on. I’m doing this. I’m doing this right. That is the moment when it starts to come together, isn’t it?
Tim Conley [41:03]
Yes. And sometimes it’s years before they realize, oh, wow, I’m actually here. And they’re just so busy doing and even so busy becoming free, that they don’t realize they’re free. When when I quit my
David Ralph [41:19]
corporate gig, I decided I was going to have all the time in the world, I was going to a pub lunches, it was going to be glorious. It was going to be the utopia, but I’d never had. And after about six months, I had aged about 52 years. Now I’m 44. And you’re 44 as you said earlier, and I look like an aging snowman compared to UTM. You look like a young youthful boy. And I I trapped myself, I totally trapped myself. And I did everything that I vowed not to do. But I did it. And after about six months, I realized that I had to backtrack and start changing direction than that. And I did it. And it was hard. It was really hard. Because it was it was that classic, turning the the tanker around and it takes three miles or whatever to turn a tanker around. And I built so much momentum in one direction. It almost broke me to change it. But I did. And I did. And now I’m in a totally different direction. And it’s very positive. And I mean futuristic about where the future is going to go. But I did exactly what you were saying. I trapped myself, I thought I was gonna have all the time in the world. And I actually ended up working probably three times as long as I did when I was in corporate land and earning about three times is less.
Tim Conley [42:37]
Yes, that and that’s standard that’s like standard practice for most entrepreneurs. And and it’s sad because it’s self inflicted. No, no one else made you live this way. Your choices set you up for this. And but but which sounds so disheartening, but I think it’s amazing. Because if you made the choices to get where you’re at, that means you are also the person who gets to make the choices to get where you want to be.
David Ralph [43:08]
Oh, that’s good. Say that say that, again, out of the whole show. This is the bit that I want you to jot down listeners because this is the gold go for it him.
Tim Conley [43:19]
Okay, hopefully I’ll say it the way I said it. So people who make a bunch of bad decisions that think this, this is where I’m at, I can’t change. But, but I love this thing, because it shows that you have the power, if you had the power to choose to get to where you’re at in life. Now, that means you are the person who can choose to get to where you want to be next.
David Ralph [43:46]
Love that. And we all make those decisions, don’t we I’m gonna play some words in a moment about decision making. But it’s the case that we’re in a job and we don’t like it. So we get another job. And we made a decision to leave and we quit and we move on and we get another one. We can keep on doing that. But there seems to be a point when life engulfs us. And we feel that we can’t keep on making these decisions. I’ve used up enough of my life. Now, this is where I should be, I should be settled down with a wife and three kids and all that kind of stuff. But even at that point, you can make decisions if it’s the right decisions for you. And if you do make those decisions, and it starts working, and I’m totally believer in even if it doesn’t work, then make another one and make another one get on that track that feels right. Because once you’re on that track, you will be so glad that you started making those decisions. And it doesn’t matter how old you are does it I bloke recently it was 95 years old, and he just started taking up running. And now he’s broken all these world records. And I know it’s in the 95 to 100 categories. So how many people are in there, but he still got off his backside and he is doing 200 meters and stuff. He’s taking action. He’s making decisions he’s saying, but there’s no time limit on any decision. And the only thing that’s going to pass is the time anyway. So you might as well do it.
Tim Conley [45:10]
Right. Exactly. And I so so one of that about making the decisions and and going going back to what you said about how it takes like three miles to turn a tanker at and and that is true. And it and it does feel that way when you’re making these decisions all by yourself. But have you ever seen those, those tender boats that come out there, it’s like the boats that then push the push the like the back end of the tanker and it turns it faster. Right, those are your peers, you put the right peers in your into your life, and they will turn your life so much faster, you will be able to shift direction quickly. And and and just by changing your peer group. If you’re surrounded by people who are miserable, hate their lives and bitch and moan about how things aren’t getting better, and how things will never be better. And this is as good as it gets. And I and my glory days are far behind me. If that those are the people you hang around with, that’s who you will be. That’s who you probably are. If you want to be a different person, then you hang around people who are like that, and it will quickly shift your life far faster than trying to turn your life around all by yourself.
David Ralph [46:36]
He’s fascinating. Bova isn’t it when when you when you get into an environment, which is very positive and enthusiastic. I look at myself now. And I have no misery guts surrounding me. But they’re all hugely positive people. And they’re doing great stuff. But I used to surround myself with people that I look back on it and like I why why was I spending time with these people, they were just bringing me down. And they were giving me notes. So I’m out of no power to sort of move forward. They were just anchoring me to that point. How do people do that, though? Tim, how do people look around and look at these people and go, I know I’ve known you for 10 years, but actually, you’re anchoring me you’re holding me back? How do I get rid of them?
Tim Conley [47:20]
This is a touchy subject, right? Because a lot of people will take this a bit out of context. So I know. Well, you’re telling me to know Wednesday’s Yeah, yeah, yeah, no one’s listening to me. You’re telling me to leave my friends and family? That’s bad, right? They make a moral judgment about about leaving, leaving your social circle behind, as if, as if the social social circle that you currently have is somehow morally superior to any other social circle you could possibly have? Oh, maybe neo nazis, right? You don’t want to be in that social circle. But you can have you can have other social circles, as the one that you’re currently in? is not any morally any better than any other? The The question is, is this social circle that I’m in actually good for me? Is it good for my life? Is it good for my future, and, and if it isn’t, then then morally, I should change it. Because to make things better for my family, and for my friends, I need to become a better person. And, and my whole life always needs to be getting better for me to be better in the my environment, which could be your community, it could be the whole world, however, you want to have an impact. If you’re not improving yourself, then you’re just getting worse. There’s no, there’s no homeostasis, we don’t stay the same, we either get better or we get worse. And and so you look around and say is this this is this making me a better person than if not, then the moral, your moral obligation is to find people that you can put into your life that want want better things to and that will help you become better, what tends to happen is you’ll just stop spending time with people that make your life miserable. And, and and a lot of times, they don’t tell people to say don’t ever make it verbal, like I’m not going to hang out with you anymore, because you’re a miserable person. Right? That never goes well don’t do that. Just make a few excuses as to why you can’t go to the pub with them this week. Right? Tell them why you can’t hang out and just say, Oh, you know, I’m busy with some stuff. Don’t end and here’s a here’s a trap that that one of my clients I’m working with him with was that he’s trying to make sure huge changes in his life. And he’s trying to take people with him trying to take his social circle with him, you can’t, they don’t want what you want. So don’t try to take them because they will resent it. And then they will attack you for it. So don’t try to take them along. Just slow. Just go about your your new path, start walking the new path, eventually, you’ll find that the gap between your paths are so far apart, that they that they never cross paths again. That’s, that’s the that’s the advice that I tend to give. Because I guess I’m a coward because I don’t like conflict.
David Ralph [50:39]
Because I got rid of a lot of my mates. And I actually told him to their face. I actually said to them, this isn’t good. I don’t like being with you anymore. And that was it. And it was it was difficult. The first one, the second one wasn’t so difficult. And by the third time and the fourth date already knew it was coming because the other people without them. So yeah, it was just sort of like it was going down the grapevine and stuff. And honestly, although it was difficult to do, I look back on it now and think it was a great thing for me to do. It really helped me move on. And it hasn’t changed my life at all in any in any way. Bad. It’s only been positives. And I really do think as you’re saying you need to look at the people that are around you. Who have you got them UTM because you are very, you know, wherever you lay your hat is your home, and you can sort of go anywhere. So how do you sort of surround yourself with the with the small boats that are pushing you on?
Tim Conley [51:36]
Well, I find my I find my people and and when I started the show, the foolish adventure show, a podcast about online business started that back in. Gosh, what was at 2010? Yes, 2010 it was started or did that for four years. And that that kind of just put out to the world, hey, here’s this crazy guy who’s got long hair loves to travel the world, does his own thing runs and runs his businesses. And, and, and then they just kind of came out of the woodwork and said that’s me. Or that’s, that’s who I want to be. And so I’m starting to live that life. So now I’ve got that that built up a bunch of new friends friends that I that I never expected to have in my life, just like they just all kind of came from starting in 2010 a whole new social group came into my life. And I found out Wow, all the people that I thought were my kind of people were not my kind of people at all, it was these people that that I’ve always been searching for. And and had I not put out to the world who I was, I would have never met them. And, and that was that’s another great thing about communication is as you can put out to the entire world who you are. And then other people like you will say hey, me too. And so now when I travel, I actually look, I get a get a hold of my social circle and and their friends of friends and say, Hey, I’m going I want to go to this place who’s there. And if you want, let’s hang out. And and so now I’ve got friends around the world. So if I want I can just send a few messages. And and now I’ve got someone cool to hang out with. When I go somewhere new.
David Ralph [53:35]
I think I think it’s great. And I think it’s it’s something that’s actionable, isn’t it? People can do it? It doesn’t really take a lot of effort. It just takes that firm decision to do it.
Unknown Speaker [53:46]
David Ralph [53:48]
Perfect. That’s what we lie. Well, just before we send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic, how amazing can your life be? Because as we all say, it looked pretty amazing. As we stand you want more? So how do you make it more amazing?
Tim Conley [54:04]
I think you got to purposefully choose what it is. One thing I learned from running the foolish adventure was that a lot of people, one said they wanted freedom, and that they wanted a different life than the one they had. But then I would ask them, Well, what do you want 12 months from now what does your life look like? And they couldn’t describe it, they couldn’t describe how they would be living their life. At the best, they would have some vague stuff that I am doing whatever I want to do, like, well, that’s not how things are, you don’t just get to do whatever you want to do. You’ve got to build all this, all the systems and structures in your life to allow you to have what you want. And they couldn’t define what they wanted. They could only define what they didn’t want out of life, huh, which is a it’s a good starting point, to have some discontent. Like I don’t want what I have. But you got to kind of know where you’re going or you’ll never get there. Now, which I think it’s like a Mark Twain quote of a paraphrase, paraphrasing and Mark Twain quote, that you really do need to know where where it is that you want to end up, otherwise, you’ll never get there.
David Ralph [55:23]
And I think that, don’t you think though that that’s the scary bit, but people are unwilling to ask those questions to themselves personally, because they don’t want to feel that they’re not going to do it. They’d rather not ask the question but actually fail.
Tim Conley [55:39]
Right? Right. they would they would rather
stay discontent with their life, then to risk getting into the unknown. Yeah, yeah, there there is something to that. The devil, you know, cliche. You know, it’s been around forever. The devil, you know, it’s better than one you don’t. Because that’s the darkness. There’s always there’s always a scarier devil. And that’s why you, that’s why you got to know what you want. If you don’t know what you want, then it’s nothing but darkness. It’s it’s all vague out there. But if you have have a plan as to the things that you want your life, then you can actually take steps to get them. Like I don’t get to take all of July off just by happenstance. And and had I not actually blocked it off and and told my clients, hey, yeah, can’t work. Don’t lie. If you want to come to Spain, and hang out on the beach with me in Barcelona, hey, let’s do that. Okay. But we’re not going to work, because I’m not working in July. Had I not told them that, then it wouldn’t happen. It would. life gets in the way, even to day with what seemingly having a life of anything I wanted. If I don’t plan it, it doesn’t happen. That that’s the truth of life. Always. It doesn’t you never land on Easy Street.
David Ralph [57:16]
Always is nuggets of gold, I get so engrossed. I forget that I’m supposed to be hosting the show I just listening to you. Well, I’m going to host the show now, because this is the end of it. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic, when I send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Tim, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re gonna find out, because I’m gonna play the theme tune. And when he Bade you up, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Tim Conley [58:08]
I’m going back to talk to teenage Tim, the one that was getting into a ton of trouble. The one that thought the world hated him, that he didn’t fit in with the people that he was around growing up in rules Southern Illinois, well, you didn’t fit in that that was that was the thing is, you were you were born into a place where you didn’t belong, the the the real, you won’t be found for quite quite a few years, you’re going to go through a lot of stuff, you’re going to go through the military, you’re going to go to go to college, you’re going to have you’re going to get married and have a baby girl, and, and all these things are going to happen to happen to you, or at least seemingly happened to you. But these are all from you your choices. And and right now as a teenager, where everything feels like crap, you you want to die, you’re doing drugs, you’re drinking, you’re getting into all kinds of trouble getting into fights, that this isn’t you, this isn’t the end of your world. This is this is a struggle, that that you’re going through that a lot of other kids have gone through and are going through. And, and it all gets better from here. And the great thing is, you’re going to get to make choices. Yeah, you didn’t want the world that you were born into. But from here on out, after after you get out on your own, it’s all going to be for you, you get to choose, you get to choose the life that you want. And you can always choose to make it better. And guess what you do, you do make better choices in the future. You do stop getting into trouble, you start becoming a great dad, you end up helping hundreds and hundreds of people around the world, change their lives and make a make a difference in their lives. So the struggles that you’re going through now teenage Tim, they’re going to help, they’re going to help you have empathy for the people that want something better out of their lives, too. So know that I can’t make your life any better. But know that you’re going to be able to use this coming up in the next few years.
David Ralph [1:00:32]
Tim, how can our audience connect with you, sir?
Tim Conley [1:00:34]
How can they connect with me? Best way to connect with me is on Twitter, it’s easy to get ahold of me, I’m just at Tim Conley, ti m co n le y. And you can go to Tim Conley dot CEO, that’s my website, I blog on there periodically. Most of the stuff I do nowadays is is with my clients. And, and and I’m busy writing a book. So eventually I’ll I’ll put notice on my website about that. And because I’m probably going to give it away for free, at least for the first week or so when when it comes out, which I’m hoping from the time of this recording is no more than two or three months, maybe I don’t know. But it’s coming out.
David Ralph [1:01:20]
It’s gonna come out sometime, isn’t it that
Tim Conley [1:01:23]
end, and it goes with what we’ve been talking about. It’s called the War of the start. It’s those internal struggles that, that we go through that that we battle that we want something better out of life. And and here’s here’s a few ways, a few bits of wisdom I’ve gathered over the years on how to win the war, the stars.
David Ralph [1:01:45]
Thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures Mr. Tim Connolly. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me David. Thanks for listening to today’s episode of join up dots brought to you exclusively by podcasters mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcasters mastery com now
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.