Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast With Mark Guay
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Introducing Mark Guay
Todays guest has come onto the show to share his story, as he works towards the life that he truly wants.
Perhaps, he is already at that point already, and he can’t believe that his life can get any better either.
Starting his career in the education system, he has from his first working days been a person that looks to build health and wellness into his life.
He focused on coaching triathlon programmes as a Personal Trainer, Triathlon Coach, Youth and Junior Triathlon Development for Tri-Fi Health and Wellness and Chelsea Peirs, particularly looking at ways to tackle the problem of childhood obesity.
But these activities were just the foundation to where he is now, with his online platform the Traveling Cup, and of course a podcast thrown into the mix too.
In the summer of 2013, a former student met him for coffee.
And after a bit of catching up, he leaned in and confessed something. Fresh out of college, he needed our guests help.
He said, “I just graduated and want to make sure that the next steps I take allow me to have tremendous impact in the world. To help make the world a better place. What tips do you have? I feel a little lost. College didn’t really prepare me for this.”
So how did he feel when he heard his statement?
Did the angels start singing and a light shine down upon his head, showing him the next stage of his life, or did he just think “Well I think I can help this guy, but I don’t know about anyone else?”
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Mark W Guay
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Mark Guay such as:
How he never really cared about money in his life, but he always had a desire to make an impact to the world which directed his “Why.”
How he grew up in a poor family, with his Mother on benefits, and remembers the stress that desperately waiting for the cheque to come in would bring.
Why it is so important to simply focus on the next step that you have to take in your life, and achieve it before then choosing the next step to take.
How Steve Jobs talked about never having a worry for money when he didn’t have any, and also never having to worry about money when he loads of it either.
How people nowadays fail to see the opportunities that are in their lives everyday, due not to being given permission to think they can see what’s on offer.
How To Connect With Mark W Guay
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Mark Guay Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com. The premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro check us out now. podcasters mastery.com
when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:37]
Yes, hello, everybody and welcome to a Join Up Dots with your lovable Some might say attractive host David Ralph Live from the back of his garden in the United Kingdom. And this is Episode 345. And I have I’ll be honest, I’m a straight man, but we’ve got a very attractive man from America today. I’ve seen him on webcam which I don’t often do. Normally. I just called blind, but he was so so glamour glammed up, he wanted to share himself with me so and we have connected visually, so he’s not a stranger anymore and he’s come onto the show to share his story as he works towards the life that he truly wants and perhaps he’s already at that point already and can’t believe it he’s live can get any better. Now starting his career in the education system he has from his first working day he’s been a person that looks to build health and wellness into his life. He focused on coaching triathlon programmes as a personal trainer, triathlon coach youth and junior triathlon development, but try by health and wellness, and Chelsea Piers, particularly looking at ways to tackle the problem of childhood obesity. But these activities were just the foundation to where he is now with his online platform, the travelling cup, and of course, a podcast thrown into the mix to everyone’s got a podcast in the summer of 2013, a former student met him for coffee and this is one of those moments that quite simply looks like it’s changed his life. After a bit of catching up, he leaned in and confess something fresh out of college. He needed help guests help. He said, I just graduated and want to make sure that the next steps I take, allow me to have tremendous impact in the world to help make the world a better place. What tips do you have? I feel a little lost college didn’t really prepare me for this. Well, I don’t think many people would be prepared to have that asked to them. So how did he feel when he heard this statement? Did the angel start singing in a light shining down upon his head, showing him the next stage of his life? Or did he just think Well, I think I can help this guy but I don’t know about anybody else. Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show, to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Mark Guay. How are you Mark?
Mark Guay [2:42]
Hey, David, how you doing, buddy?
David Ralph [2:44]
I’m very willing date and I’ll be honest with you, man. Normally beforehand, I always check to see how people pronounce their surname. But with yourself. I was so taken with the webcam stuff and you showing me evangel flat back. I didn’t Did I say your surname right.
Mark Guay [3:00]
You did? Yes, it’s Mark Guay. But it’s what’s funny about my last name is that everywhere I go, I love to see how people pronounce it. And I’ve heard all the I mean, they’re running the gamut. There’s this one to this one conference called 99. You and it was a big design conference in New York City. And there was a bunch of Canadians there. And this guy from Montreal comes up to me speaking in French, it was born Jo ma gay. And I was like, What? And he goes, Oh, you don’t speak French? He said, No. He said, Oh, you’re not French Canadian. I said, No, I’m not. There’s all your your last name sounds French Canadian. So I thought that was kind of cool. Down in Dominican Republic just as last, last fall. All the little kids came up to me. They saw my last name, and they thought that I was Dominican because grey in Dominican Spanish means really cool. So I felt really cool having that last name, but now you said it right.
David Ralph [3:52]
Well, I did you know the thing with names is the most simple names as a podcast. I can catch you out. Come I’ve had people that quite simply have got Smith as their name. But then when you actually start talking, they say, oh, now can I stop you there? It’s actually Smith each, or something like that. Right? Okay, so I do apologise about that, but he’s given us a taste of what you’re about. You’re a man who can’t do accents because that was possibly the worst French accent I’ve ever heard in my life.
Mark Guay [4:22]
Oh, you you struck a chord there. Yes, I am terrible. In fact, when I speak Spanish I can I can speak Spanish, but it is in the worst American accent ever. So much so that when I was speaking to these kids in Spanish, they knew what I was saying. But they kept laughing at me. And then in Spanish, they would say to their friends, while he has the funniest American accent ever, so. So you’re absolutely right.
David Ralph [4:47]
So So give us a bit of Spanish. I’m going to give you a phrase. Oh, and then see if you can convert it into Spanish for all our Spanish listeners. We’re big. We’re big in Madrid. Okay. Listen to join us. dots for fun and banter every day.
Mark Guay [5:04]
There’s no way I can do that.
David Ralph [5:06]
How fluid Are you that the first sentence you can’t do?
Mark Guay [5:11]
I can ask for the bathroom then how to get cheese, but I can get by
David Ralph [5:14]
What about? Can I listen to Join Up Dots in the bathroom and eat cheese at the same time?
Mark Guay [5:21]
I’m Steve lay. Listen, join the dots and loud bon Yo, con K.
David Ralph [5:32]
So that’s good. That’s good enough for me. So getting cutting to the chase on this, but that statement that that guy in college can fresh out of college and he needed your help. Yeah. Why? Why did he ask you out of all the people that he could have lent into why did he feel that you was the man for him?
Mark Guay [5:52]
That’s a great question, David. In fact, that is really the question that I was kind of asking myself as well. I mean, I took it as he huge compliment that I’ve, I felt Holy crap, I had enough impact in this young man’s life that he feels a he feels comfortable with asking me he trusts me to ask that sort of question. And then be he just he just, you know, feels that I could actually answer that question. So I was really honoured when he asked that question. I don’t know exactly why he came to me, I would assume it has something to do with when I teach, and I teach 12th grade. I think actually, at that point, though, I had video in 11th grade, which would be 1617 years old. I do a lot with helping students connect, what their passions are, and and what they’re learning in school with what’s going on in the real world. So I, when I had him as a student, I asked him about, you know, the things that he cares about, what does he want to do? And I asked those deep meaningful questions and a lot of the writing that I do personally and I also do is have my students do and the last room has to do with exploring who you are. So I would imagine that something to do with that. I’m also I’ve also been pretty big in social media for a long time. So he was probably able to see what I was doing and saw that I was going to these conferences and, and doing these, you know, writing for The Huffington Post. So perhaps he thought maybe I had an understanding of what’s going on in the real world. But needless to say, it was an incredibly honourable moment.
David Ralph [7:27]
Well, yeah, I’m matching it was and did the angels start singing? Was it one of those kind of moments that you just took on face value? Or did you think well, if this guy’s asking this, there must be a lot of people out there asking the same kind of questions?
Mark Guay [7:41]
Oh, hands down. Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, for one thing, let me start off and just say like, for me, personally, David, I’ve always wanted to do something that matters. I didn’t really I’ve never really cared very much about money. I’ve always cared about whatever it is that I end up doing. It needs to have impact in the world. I want to make sure that I You know, offer up what I’m able to do and the way that helps other people helps create better tomorrow’s. So when Vinny asked that question, it did two things. Number one, it affirmed that what I was doing as a teacher had impact in the world, because that’s one of the things you don’t really often know as a teacher. You see the kids graduate, you say goodbye. And until unless they come back and tell you how you influence them, you don’t really know. So it affirmed that what I was doing as a teacher actually made a difference. And I was like, oh, my goodness, I’m actually getting paid for this. This is awesome. But then the second thing it did is it made me realise there’s a market for this or I don’t even like to use that word. Really. There’s a community for this. There’s people out there like Vinnie that are wondering what the heck are they going to do with this college degree that they have? They’re exceptionally brilliant, very smart. That but they have and they have, you know, these tremendous loans that they need to pay so they do need to worry about money, but what can they do? Do that truly identifies with what their purpose is, you know what I mean? Like, how can what, what next choice choices should they make? And that’s what inevitably led me to, you know, create the travelling cup.
David Ralph [9:12]
Do you feel vo with your experience because I now feel that the path that people say you’ve got to find when you’re younger and you’re trying to make the right choices for your career? I now look back on it and being Are you actually forcing the issue? Are you better off just trying stuff until something naturally fits and feels good? Is that a better way of doing it?
Mark Guay [9:36]
That’s a great point. You know, I personally, I would like to hear more exactly what you think as far as like what maybe you think you were told or what others are telling people to do? Because I agree with it. You can’t really say do this, do this, do this, do this. But what you can say is look inside yourself. What I often do and a lot of the activities I talked about in the you know the book I wrote all your life on purpose. And then what Talk about on the on the travelling cup and what to talk about in my classroom has a lot to do with reflecting on who you are. And in fact, David, a lot of what I do is a lot of what you do and I I’m only a small person compared to what you’re able to do with Join Up Dots because what you’ve created is it’s frickin brilliant. But it’s reflecting on Who are you what are you doing, you know, what do you care about? And it’s all these different activities that essentially take a look at at who you are and when you become introspective like that you’re able to make better decisions so yeah, you can go set and you know and you can think about what you want to do and I am a big goal setter, but what I am more so is about Who are you and then what’s the why behind your actions so that your behaviour that you take afterwards could follow and make sense
David Ralph [10:45]
well the less so frame that for the listeners the did the why question we we kind of talked quite often about but we don’t really sort of delve into and I think this is the perfect episode for us to do better. So we’ve why what we’re literally saying But is we’re not talking about money. We’re not talking about prospects. We’re not talking about ambition. We’re talking about how it makes us feel would that be about right?
Mark Guay [11:11]
It’s how it makes us feel but also how it influences the world.
David Ralph [11:17]
Can people think that big bow when when they’re struggling to find the thing that they want to do just because it’s enjoyable and it pays the money? Can they be thinking about influencing the world? Or is that too big for them to grasp?
Mark Guay [11:31]
I don’t think you know, that’s a great question. I don’t think that how it’s going to influence the world is a direct question that you can answer. But if it’s there as a thought, where you’re going to steer your next direction is going to lead towards bettering the world. Does that make sense? As opposed to you go when you do something, you create something, I’ll give you a better example. Okay. So this guy, mark that I had on on the podcast. He’s a brilliant guy. And he was talking about a for purpose, business and This metaphor is exactly what what I’m talking about here. If a business if you start off a business, and you’re like money first purpose later, what’s going to end up happening is you create this really profitable business. And you go, Oh, you know what, now that we have money, I’m going to give back, I’m going to do something that has purpose. But then when you sit down in the room, and you have these discussions on, how are we going to implement purpose, the money question comes up. Yeah, what always makes a bigger impact, or rather, in that decision is going to be well, it’s really not about purpose. It’s about profit over purpose. However, if purpose is that the beginning, if you’re like, the first thing I want to do is I want to change this or I want to do this, this is the purpose I want to have. If you have that conversation first, then you can have the conversation about the business afterwards. So prime example would be like Budweiser, which is an American beer company, we were talking about American beer and our dislike for it
David Ralph [12:54]
earlier. I love everything about America mark. I don’t want to lose any listeners at all.
Mark Guay [13:01]
And so Budweiser for instance, Budweiser if they wanted to create a commercial that had to do with had a four purpose angle in it, it’s not going to make as much sense and and in fact, their their conversations in the boardroom would reflect profits over over purpose. Tom shoe company is another company that’s a four purpose company. And they started off with the purpose of line to be able to help kids get shoes in the help kids in need get shoes. So now they’re a pretty full fledged company that’s doing well. It’s very profitable, but they’re also doing tremendous good in the world and then good trumps the profits.
David Ralph [13:40]
Yeah, I, I totally agree with you. Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally. But when somebody is in a crappy job or they’re in a crappy situation, I think all they want to start moving away from that that position to pain is something that would pay more money so that they would have options choices. I think for the listeners out there and I know a lot of my listeners listen on the way to jobs that they don’t like and coming here to find jobs. Yeah. So I think they just want something which is a key to choices to be able to then be selective but allow them that first step away and that’s got to be money, isn’t it?
Mark Guay [14:21]
No, you’re at Well, it could actually you know what, I don’t know David, it’s a thing it depends on on the person. I don’t know you. I don’t you know, but I know I can speak for myself that and from a lot of the people that I’ve met that Yeah, money does make a big difference but I forget the exact number the percentage of it is but once you make a certain amount, any more than you know, being able to live you know, with the middle class lifestyle isn’t going to increase that much happiness. Does that make sense?
David Ralph [14:51]
Well, he does once you get to that point, it’s like Bill Gates said I but I can understand getting to a million dollars, but anything I overbear is just a million Don’t a burger or something like that he said so I can see Buh
Mark Guay [15:03]
bye. And you know what, let me just press into him and I think he’s really important I fully believe that you should create as much money as you possibly can and what you do with that money is inevitably up to you. But what I’ve learned and what I’ve seen as well is that you can do tremendous good with a lot of money so I’m totally not anti money I think you should make as much money as you want. By
David Ralph [15:28]
the very beginning so as I say, you’ve got somebody come in okay. And they are earning nothing so they’re absolutely on peanuts. bases. That point
Mark Guay [15:38]
like like me out of me out of college or something like that.
David Ralph [15:40]
Oh, me now a humble Yeah, we were with my daily show that I just do a lot. Okay, so I’ve got no money coming in at all. So humble podcaster or yourself straight out of college. When you’ve got no money, you are literally got a liberation of choice. You You can go anywhere you want because You’ve got nothing to lose. But what I see is the people that have already climbed up to a certain point, and have got a certain amount of value coming to them. They’re the ones that seem more stuck. And they they’re the one that I see that they need to at least be able to pay the bills, but they had built around them to vein get the choices of moving off that they’re the ones that go, I can’t do this until the bonus comes in. I can’t do this or and there’s always some kind of reason. And that’s the stuck. Kind of demographic. I think that come to Join Up Dots on a daily basis.
Mark Guay [16:35]
Yeah, no, that’s that’s a great point. So one thing I’ll bring up is there is this psychologist named Maslow. And I don’t know if you’re familiar with Maslow’s social hierarchy, you are okay. And it’s the same thing with economics. I mean, you know, the social hierarchy is that if you don’t have food, shelter and water, you can’t worry about things like thinking or, or how the impact you’re going to have in the world or you can think about things that are outside your innate survival mechanisms, right? So if you’re at a point where you are worrying about money, you know, if you need to pay the, you know, some sort of Bill, if you have like a health bill or something that you need to pay, or if you can’t afford rent or something. I mean, I grew up David, I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I actually grew up rather poor. My mother was on welfare. And so I’ve seen I grew up in a pretty poor family, I know what having the stress of, you know, waiting for that next paycheck is going to come from it’s a terrible feeling. And in fact, you know, one of the main things that has driven me my whole life is that I want to be at that point, because I saw the stress that it can have on someone. So my point is that if you’re at that point, yeah, you need to get to the point where you don’t need to be there. You don’t need to worry about that next paycheck. But there comes a point where if you are making the paychecks that are giving you the life that allows you to have more than food, shelter and water, then you’re able to you know, think beyond that per se and I mean, what I’m saying too is that, you know, what I’ve seen with a lot of my students is a lot of them. Mark Guay, like when I asked what do you want to do in your life, or I talked to people, you know, listen to the travelling cup, what do you want to do with your life and a lot of them, they, they do want to make good money. But they also want to have the social impact angle as well. So it’s it’s an interesting kind of dilemma, really, you know, depending on who you are and what you want most.
David Ralph [18:25]
Yeah, I think what’s come out in this show mark is the fact that as he was kind of alluding to, if you forget about the money and you just go for your why go for the thing that lights you up inside that plays to your strengths. It might be a longer route, but ultimately it pays you back big time. And I think that we see it time and time again where somebody will work and work and work and be a struggling actor and keep on plugging away. Keep on plugging away and then suddenly they end up Tom Hanks or someone. So I do think that if you do play to your passions and your your why it is In many ways, is the safer route, although it takes you longer because you ultimately should be creating your own income. And instead of just going into a job because it’s the first job that opens the doors, and you’re there for six years, and then suddenly they say one day, Oh, we don’t need you anymore, and away you go.
Mark Guay [19:17]
Yeah, you know, that’s, that’s a beautiful story, actually, because a lot of the people that reach out to me on the travelling cup, that’s that’s pretty much their story. You know, they worked, they came out of college, they were like me, and I think like you mentioned, like you, they didn’t have much, you know, I had $40 in my pocket coming out of college, though. And I was working at a restaurant called the Olive Garden serving and
David Ralph [19:40]
we don’t have it in the UK. Yeah. But, yeah, the best garlic bread in the world. The only trouble with the only God and I don’t know if you have your base. But you won’t even allow you to finish your starter before they’re throwing the main course at you. You’re literally in and out in about 15 minutes.
Mark Guay [19:56]
That’s because waiters, our servers are entrepreneurial. They’re all about Well, not they’re not always all about but the economics of it is how quick Can you turn over a table so that you can get another person there and treat them well, but then they you know, if your money’s based off tips, it depends on how many seats you have and how quickly those seats are replaced. He’s
David Ralph [20:16]
great food but you got to mix now
Mark Guay [20:17]
what I did, that’s not what I did. I like to enjoy enjoy my time with my guest. In fact, speaking of terrible accents, I used to pretend I was British sometimes this is when I was going to school for acting actually for a little while. And and I would I would add, you know, I would come up to them and I’m not even going to do the bridge. Oh,
David Ralph [20:36]
go on. No one listens, man. Oh, he’s just united me.
Mark Guay [20:40]
And I would ask them about what have you seen what’s on the telly lately? And that’s not great. And they and they will thank you and they thought that they thought that I was British and I would just have a good time with it. Friendship
David Ralph [20:56]
Yeah, that was all I go with that one. So yeah, cuz all Yeah, you You don’t say Telly over there. Do you? know we don’t say TV? Yeah. But anyway, anyway, we digress by back into the Olive Garden. So you mean you only have a garden? Oh, yeah.
Mark Guay [21:11]
Where were we with the olive garden?
David Ralph [21:12]
I had no idea at all. But I
Mark Guay [21:15]
think we went I think we went to Olive Garden off of something completely different. So you’re gonna have to take me back,
David Ralph [21:20]
okay, for my memory of it because I was hanging on every word. You walked out of college with only $40 in your pocket. And he was a struggling waiter in the Olive Garden.
Mark Guay [21:31]
I think it was just talking about oh, I search saying Yeah, well, I was mentioning how a lot of people that have reached out to me have gotten into some sort of job and they did what they were supposed to do. They achieved you know, the new American dream. They went to college, they got their degree. They got their job. And then it was the work of paying off your loans, you know, getting a house, maybe getting married, maybe thinking about having kids, and then all of a sudden you’re 28 Money and I know you’re turning 30 and you’re like, holy crap. What am I doing? You know, there’s a famous, a very popular David Foster Wallace speech called This is water and if you’re familiar with it, no one of the most, the most and you do it for me. Yeah. Well, I can do in short what it is. In short, it’s it’s the thought of where he was what was it? It’s another commencement speech, not the Steve Jobs Stanford speech, which I know you love, and I love as well, but he was, I think it was Kenyon College, and it might have been 2002. But anyhow, he was talking to them and he was saying, you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. You’re going to get a job, you’re gonna get that BMW, you’re gonna work until, you know, whatever you need to do to get your money. You’re gonna find yourself at 30 you’re gonna be it’s gonna be five o’clock, you’re going to be starving. You’re going to go to the grocery store. You’re going to be in line. You know, getting your groceries when everyone else is in line. And you know, there’s going to be a long line, there’s going to be annoying people around you. There’s going to be that kid. That’s young. You know that you’re going to have that one cart that has the one wheel that just is not working, and you’re trying to steer it around the aisle, and all these things are going to be frustrating, you realise that you’ve just done the exact same thing over and over for the past six, seven or eight years, and you’re not happy. And it was a really pressing point that he made, because it it brings up two really important questions. One, why are you doing that? Why are you doing the same thing that you don’t want to do? when, you know, just essentially what is your why was it just for the money? And then we realised that you weren’t essentially happy with that, you know, what’s the deeper Why there? And then the second part that’s so critical to to me and the teaching that I do is about mindset, you know, how are you viewing that? Right? Because just the opposite of kind of what we’re talking about David, the opposite of, you know, are you unhappy with your position? Are you unhappy with your job, the opposite is is taking a look at what what are you grateful for, you know, and there’s so much to be grateful in that scenario, but it’s so much easier, and this is what the David Foster Wallace argues is that it’s so much easier to flip on that switch of this sucks of I don’t like this of complaining because that’s natural. Or at least that’s what he argues. And he’ll he says there’s science behind it. And I believe it it makes a lot of sense. But if you have that mindset switch of what you’re grateful for, you’re able to think of a number of things you can think about how the other people that are doing the same thing you’re doing and you’re kind of like a family which is corny as that sounds. You could also think that Geez, I could afford these groceries when many people cannot, you know, depending on your background you may have like when I was a kid, you know, realise that paying for groceries was not easy. So that’s to do it, you know, mindset as well.
David Ralph [24:44]
When it is all mindset isn’t and I’m gonna play another commencement speech now, which really is total mindset and really going for something this is temporary.
Jim Carrey [24:55]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so He made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [25:22]
I get tingles still, when I listen to that, even though I know when he’s going to get to that moment. And it’s just hugely powerful because so many of us for years and years and years, we we just don’t pay attention to those words, do we, we don’t reflect on them. I went to jobs that were pretty dreadful. And I didn’t for months and years or whatever, just because they were paying me a lot of money. And I used to come home every day, and just dread the thought of going back but I did it. And so it isn’t the kind of message that you try to get out to your students. But really, it’s up to about Go out there and seize the day.
Mark Guay [26:04]
Yeah, I mean, really, it’s about and that’s the same thing that we were talking about. So it’s the why and I love that speech by Jim Carrey. I’m so glad that you you brought that one up. It seems like you and I both have a love for commencement speeches. I think they’re great. So I, you know, right there, Kari says, you know, if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail at something that you love that you’re doing as opposed to something that you don’t love that you’re doing because at least then you’re winning and doing what you want to do. You know, what does he say later on in that speech to David, I’m trying to think he says something along the lines of, geez, what’s the what’s the one message that he says at the end? You remember? No, I don’t.
David Ralph [26:41]
I’m so focused in on that being now. I haven’t listened to the whole bit for quite a while.
Mark Guay [26:45]
He says, Oh, yeah, where he visualises his future and he writes himself a check more. I think it was $10 million. It could be wrong with that number. But he it was I think it was 1985. It could be wrong with that again, but it’s 85 I believe, and he wrote himself a check for 1 million or $10 million in 1995. And he struggled as a comedian. He struggled as an actor. And then it was in 1994 that he was the main role in Dumb and Dumber. Which Have you seen dumber? dumber? I have haven’t
David Ralph [27:17]
seen a new one. But
Mark Guay [27:19]
I’m either not do yeah. Original is a classic. And so anyways, in 1994, he received a check for I think it was probably I think was the 10 million. He received the check for Dumb and Dumber. So he, you know, he envisioned literally what he was going to get. And that was just so beautiful. And that’s actually the other message that I love to pull from that commencement speech is something that’s really big in my own life and and what I teach both on the travelling cup and in my classroom is and even when I was a triathlon coach David, it’s, you know, it’s envisioning what exactly that finish line is going to look like. And for any of our you know, I don’t know if you’ve ever raced a triathlon or or you’re an athlete at all. But that’s one of the most critical things about being an athlete is literally envisioning visualising. What is that race going to look like? Like, what is it going to look like when you’re tying your shoes before you? Or after you get off the bike and you’re jumping on for the run? You know, what, what is that first step going to look like? You know, what, what direction is the sun? And like getting so specific to what that journey may look like? And then what is that finish line going to look like? How is that going to feel? You know, when that foot crosses the finish line? What’s going to be your first thought, and so, you know, visualising what your proverbial finish line might be, I think, is so incredibly critical. And I mean, there is that element of law of attraction and I don’t know if you believe in that I’m not even sure Heck, if I really believe in that. But I think it’s beautiful nonetheless. And just the idea that if you create a vision of what you want, of what you believe could happen in the world with your life and the world around it. Then Then the universe will apparently align and help create that to come true if you take the necessary steps to create it as well. And that’s something I talked about to a small degree. Like I said, I’m a bit of a sceptic with a lot of things and the law of attraction is is sort of one of those. When I talk about
David Ralph [29:19]
awkward, I hate Mr. Canfield, jack Canfield on the show, and we were talking about the law of attraction. And he he basically says, Yeah, he totally understands why people don’t buy into it. But he believes he works. And he can see it works because he’s worked in his life. And I said, Yeah, isn’t it just cause and effect for Mr. Canfield? I said, Isn’t it the case, but if you get out there and you do stop its ripples in the pond, you’re ultimately going to have those ripples hit the age and then start coming back to you. If you sit on the sofa with all your doors and windows closed, just chanting on a daily basis, but nothing’s gonna happen. It just can’t possibly happen. And he said, Yeah, he said, but he pretty much buys into The fact that it is cause and effect. Now, when you take it from that kind of hokey Enos that you hear where people say, Oh, you just have to imagine that you’re driving your Ferrari. And three weeks later, you’ll come out and there’s one on your driveway, to the fact that if you went out and said, Why, okay, I really want a Ferrari, how am I going to get this? How am I going to work towards this? When it’s it’s doable, isn’t it, but people kind of almost like the mysticism of it, and not the effort somehow.
Mark Guay [30:27]
Well, I think there’s an element of that. And I think there’s definitely an element of delusion, as well. But if you can see it, then it could happen. I’ll give you one one small example of how it’s happened in my life. And it’s happened in my life, numerous amount of times, but the one in particular that that I was thinking about, so when I started up the travelling cup, you know, I at the time that Vinnie that student that we were talking about earlier that he came up to me and asked the question of what steps you should take next at that time. I was going around and going to These different conferences seeing different people speak I met Arianna Huffington I started writing for The Huffington Post. And and I had a love for Seth Godin to work. Are you familiar with gota?
David Ralph [31:10]
Yeah, I am, I must admit, on podcast, I find him a little bit joy, to say the least. But I like reading his stuff. I don’t want listening to him.
Mark Guay [31:20]
That’s totally fine. So one thing that I wanted to do like a small kind of selfish goal of my own is I wanted to have him on my podcast I wanted to, to me that just felt like success at that it was small step out of the success ladder, per se, was if I can get Seth Godin on my podcast, then I can, then then therefore, I’m successful, whatever that means. And and so I just put that out there, I visualised what it would be like to have Seth Godin on on the travelling cup. And then coincidentally, the next day, I get an invite that says, hey, do you want to go see golden speak? I’m like, Yeah, let’s do it. So I go and see go and speak. A couple weeks later, I get It’s a massive press discount. By that I mean free to go to a great, really expensive event, like a TED like event called 99. You and golden was there and and I got to meet him and I asked him, Hey, would you like to come with a travelling cup? Well, two months later he there he is sitting with me, you know, via video, Skype, and we’re having a conversation. And so that was great because I was I literally envisioned what what that would look like. But I also took the steps to make it happen. I, you know, sent him a message, I went up to him at the conference and said, Hey, Seth, how you doing? You know, I really appreciate your work. This is what I’m doing with the travelling come. I’d love to have you on the show. What do you think? And he said, sure, that sounds great. Let’s do it. So, you know, that was one small example. But yeah, I think what what sort of happens, and in fact, Godin writes about this as well. And he and I actually spoke about the law of attraction. You know, there’s many different people that have different views on it. But the one thing that he and I agree with and like you just mentioned, as well is that envisioning what it is that you want, but then taking the necessary steps to get it. And there’s this delusional kind of thinking that went with a popular book called The secret that talked about if you just visualise it, it will like all of a sudden, just happen. Like you just said, with the Ferrari, you just envision yourself sitting in a Ferrari driving, and then all of a sudden, you know, two weeks later, it’s going to happen. No, that’s not gonna happen. But if you do like what tai lopez or tai lopez i think is his name, what he did, he worked his butt off to be able to get the Ferrari and if that’s what you want, if that’s what one of your dreams is, if that’s what means to you success, then, you know, if you visualise it, and you actually sit down and write out well, what is one possible way to make it happen? What’s like the first thing I can do to maybe get to that then then it can happen?
David Ralph [33:45]
Well, that is the key thing. And I know on your your chat with him. You were very much into taking it one step at a time drip by drip as Seth Godin sort of mentioned. Yeah. And is that the key thing to live because I honestly believe it is now. Now I’m doing the show and I can see how it’s grown. I know that he’s only grown really by me doing drip, drip, drip. It builds its foundations, it builds its structure to be able to go on to the next level. Is that what you build in your life? Is it simply that you do one thing? You take a look, you do another thing and you take a look?
Mark Guay [34:25]
I think that’s for me personally, David. that’s a that’s a great question. I love that question. For me, personally, drip by drip is incredibly important, because I think, especially in anything entrepreneurial, what I found is that it’s incredibly overwhelming to feel as if you’re not succeeding. And when I do things one step at a time, one podcast episode at a time, one blog posts at a time, one interview at a time, one class at a time, I’m able to do is is you know, the best that I can at that moment. So that one I get the next small success I can celebrate that.
David Ralph [35:03]
Let’s play some words that really once again emphasise this point in the conversation and this is what Oprah Winfrey said recently about that right next move the way
Oprah Winfrey [35:12]
through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [35:43]
So you could you could have literally changed her boys into a man’s voice and her just a drip, drip drip because it’s the same concept, isn’t it? But you, you know, she’s not saying throw a whole bucket of water at something she just saying that do one thing. Have a look as it worked. If it hasn’t Why hasn’t it worked? Okay, I’ve been trying go a different direction. And you you will find your path. And I that was a I don’t know when I even got there. But I remember hearing that. And it was one of those speeches that just lit something inside me when I heard that I thought, wow, yeah, that that is so powerful, isn’t it? It’s not going to be overnight. It might take you a long time. But if you keep taking those steps, step, step, step and you’re working towards a focus, you’ve got to get there, haven’t you or you give yourself half a chance to get there.
Mark Guay [36:31]
You know, I would even add in if you’re working towards your why, because there Why is so much bigger than those small steps. It’s so much bigger than those small failures that you’re having. And that’s what Oprah just said there as well. Your life is much more big, as much bigger than those small moments. That’s your why, you know, and the why I feel and I’m not alone. Here is the thing that will push you even further. The one thing I wanted to add in David, is, you know, the drip by drip that’s so important. It’s step by step. I mean, that’s what I used to say to my iron man out Athletes when I was coaching them for Iron Man, it’s like you’re going to be out there for hours. So I was doing this half Ironman, right? And I was thinking, Okay, my goal was to get it under five hours. I wanted to qualify for worlds, the team USA world Long, long course championship in Perth, Australia. I was like, how am I going to get there? Five hours is under five hours is a hard time at that point. My life was 24 and I’m thinking how am I gonna do this and it’s step by step pedal stroke by pedal stroke, swim stroke by stroke stroke, and it was just one thing at a time and that’s, you know, for all the criticism he’s receiving lately, Lance Armstrong said the same thing it was pedal, you know, stroke by pedal stroke for him to win the Tour de France. But I don’t want to get into talking about Lance Armstrong. So but the one thing I wanted to mention is is asking for help to you know, that’s that’s something that I think like when you’re doing things drip by drip and especially if you’re working on something so massive and huge and you know, for for, you know, I love how you said, you know, everyone’s got a podcast now. Yeah, everyone does have a podcast now. It’s kind of something that you need to have as part of your platform but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. Well you’ve created David with with Join Up Dots is is remarkable it’s incredible for one how you’re able to do it every day is beyond me I can barely squeeze out two episodes a week. So how you’re doing it and an hour, you know, over an hour every day that’s phenomenal. And and you know, those that small step by step working on that. But the other thing that’s also so important, is is asking for help. And I had this gentleman on the podcast recently, Michael Roderick from small pond enterprises and huge shout out to Mikey his work is phenomenal. And and he said something that I think was so poignant, and I’m going to use this exact quote here. And he said, that once you realise that, actually, let me pull up the exact quotes. I don’t want to misquote them now as I as I’m talking to him, so hold on one second.
He said. He said the keys to the doors that you need open are in other people’s pockets. It’s up to you to build the relationships needed to open the doors. And I think that’s So true. And what I found in any of my work is that the more I reach out, and I talked to people, and I asked for some advice here and there, or I joined a mastermind group or I create a mastermind group or I pay for, you know, some service where I’m learning from another successful entrepreneur, it’s, the bigger my y becomes, the bigger my life becomes. And the more that I’m able to do because of the help that other people had given me because of the other keys that other people had said, and I’m sure you’ve seen the same thing. People want to help. When Vinnie came to ask me for help, I was so honoured like, it was I came home I was, I was glowing. My wife was like, are you you know, do you have a good day today? I’m like, I had a great day. Because everything that I’ve been working for my life just became to actualization at that moment. This is frickin amazing. And, and so, you know, and what I found is when I reach out to people and authentically just, you know, Don’t ask for some advice or in something most people, but 99 not 90% of them are really excited to help. And especially and this is something I really tell millennials, anyone, essentially in school or just out of school, is that that’s the time when you could ask for the most help, and people will not charge you. Yeah. Yeah. You know you at if you say I’m in school, I really, this is something I actually do as well. They love it. They love people love hearing the hustle that they have. But they also remember that time. I remember sitting in the library in undergraduate school, actually. And I was at University of Hawaii at the time. And I’m sitting there and you know, I’m sitting there with some friends, we’re talking philosophy, our socks are off. We’re just, you know, like sitting like just cross legged, like in the half lotus position. And we’re just talking about like, what is life What are we doing back to that kind of thing. And, and people remember that, like, I I remember what that wonder lust that you kind of have in college. And it’s something that you talked about the beginning of your show to, like, we sort of lose that as we get older. And that’s very true. So when when I hear from my former students, you know, 2022 24 years old, it’s a huge honour, and I don’t think anyone would tell them no, when they asked for advice,
David Ralph [41:22]
is the quickest way forward when when you’re when you’re doing anything. And it’s funny at just at the moment, I’m going through thinking Grow Rich again. And I’ve read it sort of numerous times, and Napoleon Hill and Napoleon Hill, and I’ve probably read about three or four times now. And this is the first time that I read it. And I feel that it’s written for me, every, every time I’ve sort of read it before. It was like, okay, that’s interesting, but my knowledge base wasn’t quite up to the level to make it make sense to me somehow. And he was talking about paying for other people’s education. So if you need something to be done, Don’t try to do it yourself, tap into somebody else’s experience and how quickly you will push on and surround yourself with very intelligent people. And he tells his amazing story about how Henry Ford the car guy gets taken to court, because he got a bit upset, but a newspaper was saying to him that you’re an educated. And so he said, Well, I’m going to have you and he takes him to call and he argues the case. But he, it doesn’t matter about education. It’s more about hustle and dreaming and all that kind of stuff. And he made a valid point where they were saying to him, okay, Mr. Board, could you tell me what year the the independence of America was signed, and all these kind of backs questions? And he said, No, he said, I couldn’t. But I have got a baton. But I can press and I can find out all those answers. I’ve got people that I can actually ask.
Mark Guay [42:53]
Now we call it Google a didn’t buy it use the
David Ralph [42:56]
Google. Yeah, absolutely. And when he was saying at the time, he was Saying is education about knowing it yourself personally, or by being able to find out the answer when you need it. Now that was back in whatever, 1800s, whatever, when or when I’m old Henry folders around. But now we’ve got Google, as you say. And if you need anything, you got the biggest mastermind in the world, how many really that you can tap into it. You can go to YouTube, you can see videos, you can get tutorials, you can literally teach yourself and speed forward nowadays, like you’ve never done before. I’m sure you’ve found that when you decided to do the trapping camp, you didn’t know one thing about a microphone and how to plug it in. And you probably did, like I didn’t spend quite a lot of time on YouTube, looking at how other people were doing it so that you could fall into place and do it yourself.
Mark Guay [43:44]
Yeah, actually, what I was doing was at that point in time, I was really I was coaching triathlon and I was really big interest on I had these big dreams that was going to be in the Olympics, and I was doing pretty well until then I injured myself after that, but what I did for about three to four hours You know, an hour here and there then then a couple days a week, three to four hours, I would sit on my bike during the winter when it was snowing outside, and I would sit on a trainer inside with my headphones on and I’d be listening to all these podcasts. So that’s, that’s around the time when Vinny came and asked me for my advice, and I was like, well, heck, I love podcasts. I’m going to these conferences. Vinny is asking me these questions. I’m a teacher, I want to be able to actually connect students to the real world. And I’m just curious to like, what the heck is the real world? Like, what what skills do? Do I need to really prepare students for Where is education fall, you know, failing our students? Then I was like, You know what, I’m gonna make a podcast. I love podcasts. So why not actually create my own? Yeah, and then just like you bunch of YouTube videos, but then I met a few people that were doing the podcast and I asked them a few questions. Chris Brogan Jeff Goins. And and you know, they were very helpful and and, but like, you mentioned Google, you can find anything you know, with Google like there’s this guy Sugata Mitra. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with his work, he did something called the school in the cloud. And he found that he put a computer in the slums of India. And he left it there with a group of kids. He put it like in the wall separating the songs from the more affluent areas. And he went away for I forget how long he comes back. And he asked the kids, what did you learn? And the kid said that they learned physics. And but then they said, but it was so annoying, because we had to learn English to understand physics. And it’s just, it’s amazing what you’re able to learn with just the internet. And and then, you know, with Google, that’s something that I write and talk about. So, so much. I mean, I talked about that. I think I honestly think, David that we are living in a time that we’re later that we’re later be given the same gravitas as the Renaissance. I mean, ideas now spread more quickly than Gutenberg could ever imagine. When he created the printing press. I think, you know, incredible innovation happens every week. Not just Once or twice a generation, it’s amazing how much we’re able to do in such short time. And the one thing that we’re able to do is we’re able we’re able to redefine a new normal and we don’t have to continuously go with the cultural perception of what normal
David Ralph [46:18]
is. Well, we’re gonna play Steve Jobs in a minute, but Steve was a man who would throw out many kind of quotes along that line. And one of the things that he said the other day, and I’ve forgotten he said this and I’m gonna paraphrase, but everything around you is created by somebody that’s no more intelligent than you they just decided to do it or something along those lines. So when you’re looking at my that’s, that’s the quote that I have in my screensaver, I’ve had it for a long time. I love it. You use I use IBM word perfectly, because I felt like I butchered it somehow.
Mark Guay [46:50]
All right, let me pull up my everything that we call life is made up by people, people that are no smarter than you and you can change it.
David Ralph [47:00]
How deep and how simple that the beauty of Steve Jobs quote in a whole show round one is the very simple, but they are multi levelled on by and in in the April. But you’ve written and we’re going to talk about that in a moment you actually start with a Steve Jobs speech, the only way to do great work is to love what you do if you haven’t found it yet. Keep looking. Don’t settle. And coming onto sort of Google Now. You can really just look around and find out some bizarre ways of earning an income. And you look at it now and you’ve been I didn’t know people were doing that. But God It looks fun. That’s what he’s sort of saying, isn’t it? But the fact that we’re creating our own radio stations, literally but a global, you couldn’t have done this 1015 years ago. So if you’ve got the mindset of you leave college, you get a degree, you go into a job that is linked to that degree and you stay there for 40 years. You’re literally shooting all European communities in one go. You should be looking around and seeing how you can take that degree and really tailor it to the life you want now, don’t you?
Mark Guay [48:09]
Yeah, absolutely. You know, the cool thing too is like you mentioned you can make money off of so much now, so many things that my parents and grandparents they could never even imagine. I’m not making much off the podcast that it was only to be clear about that, but I am making a little bit and and then I have some other streams of income as well. But it’s incredible that we’re able to actually make a living off that hopefully one day I will be able to make a full time living off of off of doing the podcast, that would be incredible. And there’s plenty of people that you know, we know that are doing it. But I think the the main takeaway from what Jobs is talking about there at that convention speech, we’re talking about the O five Stanford commencement speech is he’s, you know, he talks, talks a lot about how he went from never having worry about money, because he didn’t have any to never having to worry about money because he had so much. And it’s so beautifully simple that it’s far more complex than I’m sure. But the idea that he constantly searched and he wasn’t afraid, I think, is one of my biggest takes what takeaway from Steve Jobs and what he was able to do, he didn’t really have fear for that he wasn’t gonna have money because he had such an intense why that was pulling him into doing something far greater than what his chequebook would say,
David Ralph [49:32]
if you read the book, and I’m grasping police, so I might have got the wrong ball, but I think it was the the outliers by outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.
Mark Guay [49:40]
Malcolm Gladwell. Yeah,
David Ralph [49:41]
if you read that when they were talking about how Steve Jobs AND gates and all those people were either born in 1955 or 1956 10,000 hours. Oh, yeah. Well, and he leads onto that was the two things that really struck me as amazing. Literally, anyone in Silicon Valley who got to the top were born in 55 or 56 because by you were around about 19. In 76, when the first home computers were sort of being developed, so anybody who was older than that had an interest in computers would have been working for like IBM, and couldn’t have taken the risk of starting things in their marriages because I had families I had bills to pay. And so these guys came along at just at the right time when this computer was being put out, but they could look at it, they didn’t have any money, but they had an ambition and a passion to see how it was taken. Ben, they threw that 10,000 hour in and they got to the top, but they were listing all these names that really got to the top in Silicon Valley, and they were all born within that year. And I find it fascinating how certain people that get to the top in certain things. Yes, they have put in a huge amount of work and a huge amount of effort. But there’s also other things but joining up the dots around them, but actually put them in the right place in the right time. Mike Mikey work as well. Fascinating.
Mark Guay [51:03]
Yeah, you know, I love that. And actually, David that’s a lot like what we were just talking about with Oprah speech, you know, what they were able to do is a lot like what Oprah said you should do and a lot of what you and I both say you should do with with our individual platforms is stop, look around, reflect on Okay, what am I good at what pays well, you know, all these different things, what’s going on like and just really being cognizant of what’s going on around you and what you’re able to do with it, and then create something from it. You and I doing these podcasts? Yeah, podcasts have been around for a while now. But I think we’re only at the beginning of the podcast boom. For instance, earlier today, I was listening to Join Up Dots as I was test driving a new car because my car, my car, I drive, I have my old I still get
David Ralph [51:55]
excited. He says that you know that you’re the first listener who’s ever listened to the show.
Mark Guay [52:00]
I love it too. And and so like my car took crap and it’s dead finally driven it to the ground and so I need to get a new car so I’m test driving this new car and I put up Join Up Dots and this blew my mind in the car itself you could choose from podcast It was so cool and come up
David Ralph [52:19]
Mark Guay [52:21]
um i will i was driving David so I couldn’t look at the at the screen because that would be good when they had the logo came up. I don’t think I don’t think it did but it did say your name it did say the episode. And then just like when you’re looking at the, you know, on Stitcher or on downcast whatever you’re using to play your your podcast, you’re able to read a little bit of the show notes it that did show up as well. It was really it just it totally blew my mind because I’m thinking, Holy moly, there’s going to be all these people coming out that are going to be getting cars that are going to be in you know, they’re going to be exposed to podcasts for the first time in a long time. Or sorry First time ever, like my parents, for instance, you know, and many other people they have, like I tell my mom all the time, you know, I’m interviewing someone and to me it’s a huge deal. And she goes, Oh, honey, that sounds that sounds nice. But she has no clue what what a podcast is. And I’m like, it’s like a radio show mob but but on, you know, online, and you know, all these people from around the world listen to it. Oh, honey, that’s, that’s sweet. That that’s nice. They just, uh, no know what it is. So I think it’s so cool. You know, and that is something new that that’s coming about. And just like you mentioned, you know, with how jobs and all them from, you know, we learned and outliers, they were born in that time. Likewise, David, I think we’re born in a time I think we’re born and even more incredible time. I think going back to the analogy with Gutenberg and and the Renaissance. You know, Gutenberg made the printing press, just like jobs and all that made the computers made the iPad, yada yada yada. Then Google made Google obviously, but just like the printing press now, all this information is Being able to be spread in a viral way where we can learn anything, like we were mentioning earlier with YouTube, what we’re able to create with that is up to us. And it’s it’s amazing what people are doing with it. And I mean, I have so much confidence and so much love and admiration for the millennial generation because they’re growing up just like you we just mentioned, like jobs and I’m girl in a time where they’re able were able to create these amazing things.
David Ralph [54:27]
And that’s the crying shame, isn’t it really, but people haven’t quite grasped that they have got the opportunities they haven’t quite grasped. But they don’t actually have to follow the path that their parents but was the safe route. They go and live. And then no one’s telling them to do anything different. So it’s just how life is. You leave college and you get a job?
Mark Guay [54:51]
Yeah, well, you know, that’s an here’s so I’m going to talk about this at the sermon mount thing, but this is something that you know, is real Yeah, my why is that my core because as a teacher, I got into education to find out why the heck the education system is the way it is. I wanted to know I kind of like when you’re looking at a at a drill or, you know, a power drill as a kid or a VCR as a kid, and you’re looking at it, like, how does this thing works, you take it apart. That’s kind of why I entered education. I had a love for education, education pretty much made me who I am today. And so because of that, I wanted to know why education was the way it is and how it could be better why it was such a disconnect. And I think you’ve had some guests on the show that I’ve talked about this, but for our listeners who might not know that, or never heard it, you know, the education system, and this is on a worldwide level, not just on a US level. This is especially in the UK and the US but all over. The school system was made on a factory mindset. Right. The school system was designed to bring children out of the farms and into the school system and behaviourally get become used to the bell schedule, which was just like shifts when you’re in a factory. And you would, you know, learn a skill so that when you and it was eight hours long, just like a labour enforced work day, so that when you came out of school, that’s what you would do. And after doing that for 12 school year, so up until you’re 18 years old, and then you go on to college to 22. You don’t know any different. That’s just the normal that’s like that cultural normal that I was just talking about, right? So unless no one tells you anything different, you’re not going to know thankfully you have people like like you, David, and hopefully myself and others that are saying this that are telling people you can be anything you want to be. And and now that’s more true than than ever. I think you you only have to
David Ralph [56:47]
pick up an autobiography, you go into a bookstore and you pick it up and you realise you can be anything you want. And it’s not going to be easy and it’s going to be late nights, there’s going to be early mornings, there’s going to be weekends, but what I have found and I’m sure that you’re the same as on this mark. But when you do find the thing that you love doing the work the hours kind of don’t come into equation, you just want to do it and you will push through and it doesn’t matter that is a bank holiday. You don’t care that it’s a Sunday evening, you just want to do it because it becomes something bigger, and you want to become as good as you possibly can at doing it. And once you get to that point, that’s when people start to notice and you start to move forward so that the first year maybe year and a half is literally under underground. Nobody notices you at all. But it comes to that point, that and I think Seth Godin talked about this the tipping point that you get to a point where things start to crack and that dam starts to crack and then suddenly, whoosh, you’re you’re ahead of the curve on you.
Mark Guay [57:50]
Yeah, absolutely. You know, and the other thing too, that would, I think is it like so there’s this woman, I alit Baron, a good friend of mine, and then mutual of our Steven Reed talks about the same thing too, is that, you know, we’re moving into a world now where it’s not even an hourly schedule, it’s not even you’re going to work from this time to this time, it’s working around your lifestyle. And I forget who coined the phrase, or maybe no one’s coined it. So I’ll just say it now, but lifestyle business, you know, building a building a life or building a business rather around your lifestyle. And going back to even the analogy with the factory base, you know, school system, is that, that we’re not even in that anymore. I don’t really know anyone, David, where their their date ends, when they punch out, you know, metaphor, or hypothetically or figuratively, I mean, you know, there I don’t know anyone where they’re able to, you know, what I mean? Is the line between your work and your personal life and your business life is so blurred. Me, for instance, and I’m sure the same with you. You know, earlier today, I was doing something else, but I was thinking about this interview, but I wasn’t technically working.
David Ralph [58:56]
Yeah, I mean, yeah, no, I disconnect totally. But I can’t switch Draw from it.
Mark Guay [59:02]
David Ralph [59:03]
It’s an interesting point, though, isn’t it when, when your brain takes you into places that you didn’t think was possible only because you spent so long thinking about it, you know, coming back to the Napoleon Hill thing, but you think and you think and you think about something and you think about it again, and then you sleep on it, and you wake up the next morning, and then you’re in the shower, and you suddenly go, Whoa, wow, I can suddenly see it. Now. Because I’m so focused on a task I see so many things which could be classed as law of attraction, it could be classed as whatever. But it’s because you’ve spent so much time thinking about it. There’s solutions appear, and people who are in the day jobs that are just getting through the day. They don’t give themselves the opportunity to eight. That’s why the commute is so important not to listen to the radio, but listen to shows like this or just have it in silence if you’re having to drive home an hour after work. Don’t have the radio on and just think about stuff because solutions appear Light magic solutions appear. Do you find that more?
Mark Guay [1:00:04]
Like magic solutions appear? Um, I think so. Well, you know, the one thing that what I’m thinking of David is you’re just talking is It is incredible how and this is the same thing with writing, I. And what I teach a lot with writing as well is that when you’re really trying to come up with an idea, you’re just going to stare at a blank page, nothing is going to happen. And I can, like, you know, focused 110% of my energy into something I’m like, you know, fingers, please work, put something beautiful and smart on this screen in front of me. And let’s have it makes sense. But nothing will happen. And then I go for a walk, and all of a sudden, like, oh, ha, and then literally, and this happens, this happens so often. I’ll go for a quick walk. And then I’ll be sprinting back to my apartment, and they go, I know what I’m going to right now. So for me though, the thing that’s helped the most is meditation. What I often do is I practice yoga as well. But meditation has been really helpful for this is if there’s something that like a big decision, or if I just feel a blockage, I often find that meditating even if it’s only five minutes personally in the mornings, I meditate for about 15 to 20 minutes, depending on what time I have afterwards. My thoughts are just so clear. And I’m able to focus and think about things clearly about what it is that you know, that I want to think about at that moment. Whereas if I just really stress about the given topic, nothing comes out.
David Ralph [1:01:35]
not rocket science. So is it really, you know, if you turn every extremely, extremely simple Yeah, and just think about stuff and just allow your thoughts to wander, which which happens in meditation and solutions appear? They do. But the trouble is, we’re so wrapped up into Facebook and emails and YouTube and everything splashing around in us, it’s no wonder we still get bogged down
Mark Guay [1:01:57]
somehow. I do need to take a page out of your book, and I Unplug a little bit more. I love how, you know you were telling me how you unplug from from the social media sphere, because that’s something that I need to do as well. Like for me, if I actually want to get work done, I can open up a web browser. And sometimes I don’t even open up my computer and I’ll just get out a sheet of paper or use my whiteboard here in my office because it is so incredibly distracting in a beautiful way. But also when you’re trying to be productive and not a good way. I know there’s apps out there like Tim Ferriss talks about him all the time, that literally shut off your, you know, your social media notifications. And then there’s that an app that I do use that’s, that’s amazing, is you can pause your email, and so it stops the email so that even if I go to write a message, I don’t see, you know, 3050 or sometimes hundreds of emails that have popped up that I either need to answer or need to just file away into something else.
David Ralph [1:02:54]
And what was that? Oh, I’ve never heard about that one.
Mark Guay [1:02:57]
Um, geez, I don’t know to be honest with you. I just I guess I could open up an email look, but I think it’s just google pause or Gmail pause or something along those lines, it was one of those that I saw on Fast Company, and it just made just made a lot of sense. And now when I pull up my Gmail, it just has a blue pause button that’s next to it. So I’m not sure what the name of it is, I can look it up, and then I’ll send it to you. I’ll have a look for that myself.
David Ralph [1:03:17]
But let’s play some the last words of the show and these words that made so much sense to me when I first heard them, but I built a whole show around them. And these are the words of Steve Jobs said back in 2005. And it’s amazing to me that on a daily basis, so many people still feel passionately that these are words that mean something to them.
Steve Jobs [1:03:36]
This is Steve Jobs. Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny life Karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [1:04:13]
So what’s your big Mark? What’s the moment? Is there a moment in your life when you look back on it and go Yeah, that’s that’s when I started to really see where I should be going.
Mark Guay [1:04:24]
First of all, I have to say I love that talk that commencement speech, the oh five Stanford commencement speeches. Like I can’t watch that without either tearing up or just my hair stands up because it’s it’s that it’s just really stings the the soul in a beautiful way, especially because he passed away, you know, that was really like the last main talk that we have of them. I show that to my students every year around graduation time, and even after I’m not teaching anymore, that’s what I’m still going to watch around graduation time, every year because it’s so beautiful. And what he says, you know, it’s hard. I was thinking about this, David, what is like the one.or? What is what is one dot, there’s so many and that that have added up. But there’s two that that really stick out that I’ll mention. So the first one was I was in Hawaii studying at the University fly and I would go on, I just started running at the time. And I would run a mile, which was a huge amount at that time, which I know for our runners out there, that’s that’s nothing but for me at that time, that was hard. And I would run to my local surf spot. And I would sit on the rocks and there were the the rocks is they’re pronounced in Hawaiian. And there’s like the lava rock and I would sit there and lotus pose and I would I was just learning about meditation. I just got into it. I didn’t really know much about it except reading a few books and listening to a little bit about this before YouTube or anything like that. So anyways, I’m sitting at at on those rocks and my eyes were open and I’m meditating and I’m not sure I’m gonna try to paint this in this picture. with words, but I’m sitting there The ocean is bright blue Evan flow, the sun’s shining down the black that the blackest black of these rocks is right there in front of me, I hear the sounds of the ocean smashing the rocks, but I’m sitting so so. So still, after about five minutes, all of a sudden I see all these black crabs come alive and they start skitter scattering around the black rocks and I realised I’m not there alone. They’ve been there the whole time they’ve been hiding. And I move my eyes and all of a sudden they stop that all of a sudden they start going again. And it’s funny that has been one of the most influential moments in my life. I joke I joke with my with my friends, I say that is the second happiest memory in my life. The first is marrying my wife. But that was such a pivotal moment for me on a number of levels. Number one, it just showed me the power of meditation. I felt so calm, but I also felt so This is this is a little cheesy, but I’m okay with that it felt so I felt so connected. Like I was one with the ocean one with the rocks one with the crabs and I know that kind of sounds whoo out there. But it was this beautiful interconnectedness that I felt. And it just really gave me an appreciation for life. The second moment was out of college Actually, I had gone to school as I had done a number of things. I came into school as an actor, did a bunch of acting things. And I switched my majors a few times. I was a very much obsessed just like that former student of mine, with what steps should I take what career I didn’t want to be a teacher, I really hated education. I thought the system was a joke. And I saw the system for what it was. And so I graduated with an English and an anthropology degree. I loved studying culture. And all of a sudden, I met this guy went for this grad school interview. Education. I was just curious about it. And this one Professor James sir cone, he sat me down and he talked to me and he said, Yeah, the education system as it is, is terrible. We need people like you to change it. And I was like, Oh, I never even thought about that. And that moment that conversation that man was was so inspirational to me that dot that that particular died, connected with those moments when I was in school thinking about why am I here? How is this connect to the real world to what I’m doing now with the travelling cup with building the extension of wire school Mrs. The conversations that need to be happening on how to create a meaningful life post academia.
David Ralph [1:08:46]
the stories amazing every single day, every single day, they always start and I think to myself, where’s this going? But by the end of it, you can see totally where they’re going. And that’s to the future, isn’t it, Ed Subtle moments that, in the great scheme of things don’t mean anything. But when you look back on them, they’re hugely, hugely powerful. And we all have those, but some people recognise them because they’re reflecting, and other people that day just let them go somehow. Yeah. Well, this is the part of the show that we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger version, and we call it the Sermon on the mic. But if you could go back in time and speak to the young mark, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune, and when it fades you up. This is the Sermon on the Mount.
Sermon On The Mic [1:09:41]
Here we go. With the best of the show.
Mark Guay [1:09:58]
Hey, buddy, what’s up How you doing? This is your older self here, the 30 year old version of yourself and some double your age at the moment you’re sitting in one of your classes at a beautiful school that you do love. You’re probably thinking about your lines for the play that you got coming up display opening opening night. And you’re probably sitting there staring outside wondering how this lesson has anything to do with the real world. And you’re probably wondering, what are you going to do? What are you going to do after that? So the things that I want to say to you and I have this this brief moment here is that you’re right. You’re absolutely right. The the the facade that you saw the education system was correct. And later on, there’s going to be this thing that comes out called Google and it’s going to deliver Far more information than a teacher can. You’re going to meet incredible teachers that are going to inspire you listen to them, they know what they’re doing. Mr. Her knows exactly what he’s doing. And in fact, you and him will become really good friends, many years, about 10 years down the road, and you’ll be having a conversation about the 10 things that school doesn’t teach children and needs to. And you’ll be having that conversation and laughing about how he was the teacher and you are the student and you both were thinking the exact same thing. Your hair is actually going to get longer, you’re you’re going to turn 30 and you’re going to have a sort of midlife crisis where you’re going to say, I want a man bond and you’re going to grow your hair long and you’re going to have a lot of fun. The one other thing that I would like to tell you before we leave is continuing continue You’re going to continue to have fun, I think your senior quote was, don’t take life too seriously, never going to make it out alive anyway. And even though that is not the best advice, the humbleness and the humility of not taking life too seriously, and just having fun with it and smile, and smiling and just having fun is so incredibly important. You’re going to make a lot of super tough decisions. And the best thing you can do is just like you learned, when you started meditation is to stop. Look around, assess the situation, and just make the best decision that you can make knowing that it’s going to take you to a place you had no idea you’re going to go and it’s going to be a wild rollercoaster. So just hang on. Have fun. And buckle up.
David Ralph [1:12:56]
Mark, how can our audience connect with you, sir?
Mark Guay [1:12:59]
So you can go to the travelling cup calm, it’s with one L of the American spelling of the travelling cup. The best way though is to Google Mark grey last name g UAY. On Twitter, I am ma rk wg UAY. That’s Mark W. Grey. And that’s the best place. I’m pretty active on Twitter.
David Ralph [1:13:16]
Ma, thank you so much for spending time with us today, joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our pass is the best way to build our futures. Mark. Thank you so much,
Mark Guay [1:13:30]
David, you’re the man thank you so much for having me. It’s an honour my friend. I love what you’re doing. I hope one day I’m able to do as much as you’re doing with Join Up Dots because you really have an amazing programme so keep it up, man.
David Ralph [1:13:44]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcast mastery.com
Now, David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.