Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Kyle Wilson
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Introducing Kyle Wilson
Kyle Wilson is todays guest on Join Up Dots.
Kyle is a man who believes each person is potentially an expert in something. So he mentors and trains professionals, small business owners and anyone who wants to build their expert platform, on how to more effectively build and market their services and expertise to the marketplace.
His vision is to create a community connecting life and business experts to the marketplace.
As he says ” A perfect world is finding relationships that can create true win/win. And that is what I look for, a truly reciprocal relationship where both sides benefit. Sometimes you like someone and would love to find a way to work with them, but there just isn’t enough common ground to make it work.”
Well with a track record of working and being more than work colleagues with such well known names as Jim Rhon, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Les Brown to name just a few, he is obviously a man who knows how to attract and most importantly support the people of influence.
How The Dots Joined Up For Kyle
And what I loved about the information that I read about him was this simple statement “If you can be valuable, especially to valuable people, you will attract great things.”
In 1993 he founded and became President of Jim Rohn International and in 1999 he founded and became President of YourSuccessStore.com.
He has promoted hundreds of seminar events over the past twenty plus years, and many, many self development DVDs, books and merchandise that is grabbed eagerly each time he finds time to release a new one.
So was his path always going to be linked to where he is today?
Or does he look back and join up his dots, with as much surprise and delight as the rest of us?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Kyle Wilson.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Kyle Wilson such as:
Why it is so important in your life to be focused on the great relationships you get, not the quantity of relationships you can get.
How he looks back on his younger life, and can see that he was never too focused on relationship building..he walked his own path.
How in life you often have the enemy in you, and it is up to us to battle the enemy and make sure it doesn’t hold us back.
Why we need to seek out the one thing that we can do on our life lists, that can make all the other things that we need to do irrelevant.
How To Connect With Kyle Wilson
Return To The Top Of Kyle Wilson
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Full Transcription Of Kyle Wilson Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com. The premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro check us out now. podcasters mastery.com
when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:38]
Yes, hello there. Well, how are we all looking forward to another episode of Join Up Dots of course you are probably not looking forward to as much as I am. I love doing this and I am loving it more every single day. Well, this is Episode 348. And we’ve got a guy on the show today, but it’s kind of been surrounding the Join Up Dots world right back to Episode 66 when he was playing us kind of introduced to me and it’s taken me over 300 shows almost 300 shows to get him on. So it’s a delight to have him on the show today, because he is a man who believes each person is potentially an expert in something. So he mentors and trains professionals, small business owners, and anyone who wants to build an expert platform, and how to more effectively build and market bear services and expertise to the marketplace. Now his vision is to create a community connecting life and business experts to the marketplace. As he says, a perfect world is finding relationships that can create true Win win. And that is what I look for a truly reciprocal relationship where both sides benefit Now sometimes you like someone and would love to find a way to work with them. But there just isn’t enough common ground to make it work. But with a track record of working and being more than work colleagues with such well known names as Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy Ziegler, Les Brown, to name just a few. He’s obviously a man who knows how to attract and most importantly, support the people of influence and I loved about the information that I read about him was this simple statement. And this is one of those statements that we’re going to talk about in the show because I’ve read it and I read it again, and it’s been with me all day. If you can be valuable, especially to valuable people, you will attract great things. Now you you let that go into your for work or Well, in 1993, he founded and became president of Jim Brown International, and in 1999, he founded and became president of your success store.com. He’s promoted hundreds of seminar events over the past 20 plus years, and many, many self development DVDs, books and merchandise that is grabbed eglee each time he finds time to release a new one. So was his path always going to be linked to where he is today? Or does he look back in Join Up Dots with as much surprise and delight as the rest of us? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start Join Up Dots with the one and only Mr. Kyle Wilson. How are you?
Kyle Wilson [2:53]
David, I am wonderful. Yourself ?
David Ralph [2:55]
I’m always wonderful. We were saying that beforehand. Did you do do you think that is a kind of Key Point when once you start really loving your job, and your job becomes your life and your life becomes your job, do you think it’s easier to say? phrases like that? And actually you passionately believe them? Yeah, I feel wonderful because I kind of do
Kyle Wilson [3:14]
that, probably. So I think making that connection between loving your job and all that good stuff really is does begin with the philosophy, right? Because there’s phenomenal musicians, as some musicians are coming to mind as we’re talking about this, who, you know, they’re not loving the journey, but they were born to play. I mean, there’s no doubt they’re doing what they’re called to do. So tonnes of people are doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing and miserable. And there’s people like yourself who are loving it. So I think it begins with a philosophy, which then dictates your attitude. So I congrat congratulate you. That’s a hard lesson for most people to learn and it’s awesome that you, you not only see it but to embrace it.
David Ralph [3:58]
I don’t know if I learned it, but I think I stopped Bored across it. And I think that’s the way of life isn’t it? I think most musicians that you’re talking about the the sort of tortured souls that are playing their guitars, they’re brilliant at doing that, and actually hating it, that there’s got to be a lot of practice as got them to that point, they must have wanted it somehow must have no but certainly be my case. I stumbled across space. And Ben found out I loved it and want to practice more and more and more to get better and better and better. So did you pick those those musicians? If somebody said to them, Look, I give you 1000 pounds a day not to play again? Do you think they could lock a guitar up?
Kyle Wilson [4:36]
Well, I’m thinking you reminded me of when we first started talking, and again, I’m from Texas, right? So my accents very clear. You’re from the UK and yours is clear as well. And you reminded me of a friend of mine, Phil Collen, the lead guitar player for Def Leppard and he is one of the most optimistic positive people I know and he’s really into personal development and he loves what he does, and he A fitness guru as well as a incredible musician, but it’s full. It’s philosophically driven. And so I think, as talking to someone yesterday about all haws, and I think you must have had an aha, somewhere along the way. And some obvious aha was, you know, we get when we’re 10 some we don’t get till we’re 50. Right. Yeah. But again, fortunately, you had the aha, of, of loving what you do and having this incredible, you know, waking up to not just loving your work, but loving your environment, loving everything about your surroundings, which again, I from, from stepping back, I’d say, you know, that’s philosophically driven. And, you know, again, awesome example, an encouragement to me right to have the experience with you, David, have that great reminder. So So are you an aha person
David Ralph [5:53]
as well not let the classic 80s bandwidth Take on me that that would be great. But are you an aha moment. Man, are you one of these people that really save as those times that the world crashes in on us? And we think, Wow, why did I never see this before?
Kyle Wilson [6:09]
Yeah, I really am. Because the reverse of that is I’m also a very focused, driven person. And sometimes, you know, I can’t see the forest for the trees on certain things, and it takes all haws to get me to stop and take a look. And so yeah, I’m very driven, I believe. And again, also, you know, firm beliefs, philosophical beliefs that the drive me but I love getting all hot. And typically, and I learned from everyone, right, it’s sometimes people think people have to see the world the way you you see it before you can learn from them. But I learned from everyone because that’s where you get the aha moments. So I find myself oftentimes quoting people that in some cases, I don’t even like maybe they do. did me wrong, you know, business, but I learned something from him and that thing I learned was typically an aha
David Ralph [7:06]
Did you hold grudges and CO is a bad version of you going out and claiming your business rights back from people?
Kyle Wilson [7:15]
I’m not I’m not a grudge person. Jim Rome, you know, my mentor and business partner, you know, he talked about don’t chase birds don’t, you know, don’t get off track worrying about that stuff. I i’ve never sued anyone in my life Not once. And I’ve never been personally sued. I’ve had a couple of people go after folks I work with and a lot of that just gets down to you know, not even getting into the battle, right, just being it’s not, you know, just not even engaging when, when things when people want to create conflict. So it’s not that I try and avoid conflict because I hate conflict. It’s not very wise most of the time, right? Get into battle. So no, there aren’t grudges. But there’s, there’s learning opportunities, right? When you have situations that happen in life, it’s like oh, I, you know, I get to observe and learn from that. And with it, maybe the thing you learned is what not to do. But still, there is some wisdom that came from that person, right. And that’s the main thing is what I’m trying to say is your religious beliefs or political beliefs, whatever they may be. You still can learn from everyone. I love learning from everyone. And the key is, you filter in what you you know the lesson and leave the rest. You know, for someone else to learn from, you know, if it doesn’t apply to you.
David Ralph [8:42]
I think Jim Rowan obviously is a very wise man. But the phrase don’t chase birds means something totally different in the United Kingdom, and we called ladies and girls birds. So if he came over here to the United Kingdom and said to the male population that don’t chase birds, I think we would Hey, steam out the country.
Kyle Wilson [9:02]
Yeah, yeah, it’s it’s, uh, it’s definitely out of context. But he tells the story. It’s called the seed, the sower. And it’s a biblical story, where, you know, the the sower goes out to plant the seed, and in three of the four instances, the plant really never comes up, you know, and one of the reasons is the weeds get it, you know, and another reason it’s, it’s, you know, planted among, you know, the thorns and weeds and such. But another one is the birds coming to eat the seed. And then obviously, the ultimate is you say, you plant the seed in the good soil and you get a great return. So it’s it’s a numbers, less than talking about in sales and in life. It’s a numbers game, right? You have to talk to X amount of people to get a certain amount of results. And in some cases, birds are going to come eat your seeds, right, but you don’t go chase the birds. You just keep planting the seeds. So thank you, though. I I now know not to use that. Yep. Don’t use it
David Ralph [10:02]
over here. We’re looking at you in a totally different lives. Yes. So So is it easier to have these relationships with people once you’ve got to a certain point, or success or competence or whatever it is, because I know a lot of our listeners out here would be fascinated. I know they’d be fascinated with that, that you as a friend of Jim Rome, because literally, that the classics phrase, or if you’re the average of the five people you surround yourself with, that must have been mentioned to me on the shows, if not 300 plus times, literally 300 plus times literally every single person that says it to me. And so the fact that you you actually knew the person that has said that, that that phrase that has gone down in legend and folklore is quite fascinating. But did you think that it’s easier to find those relationships once you’ve actually moved on or can the person in the cubicle listening to this podcast at the moment Split to make that first step in their life. Can they do similar things as yourself?
Kyle Wilson [11:05]
Okay, so, great question. I do have a distinction. I’ll begin with the first part of it in, you know, it really gets back to that opening phrase being valuable to valuable people. I found a way to fill up seminar room so I promote it augmon Dino and Brian Tracy and, and ultimately Jim Rohn. And I was partner with Jim from 93 to 2007 when I sold the company and course Unfortunately, he passed away a year and a half later, but during that same link the time you know, really, we created so many products did so many joint ventures collaborations with so many amazing people. You know, Mark Victor Hansen is one of my best friends and I did chicken soup for the entrepreneurial soul with them. Well, Mark and I became friends because I had the ability to fill rooms so I was able to be valuable to valuable people. The million plus email list. So if you had a product and needed to be sold, I created the ability to get that to a lot of people. So again, I had people coming to me I didn’t have to really go search them out, they would come to me because we had created that distribution channel. And yes, that was very intentional. I knew that again, instead of honey and I could fish you know, to have great relationships. I had to get a speakers to get a authors I had to be a promoter. So I focus more on being a promoter than I did on trying to go get those relationships and I you know, you could attract them. But to the second point of your question, the person sitting in the cubicle I will say this, I think having friendships, from the from the information Jim Rome shared, that’s accessible to everyone. One that you know, the philosophy that changed my life did not come from my intimate relationship with Jim Rome, which I had. The intimate relationship I had with Jim Rome was a friendship, but the philosophy the knowledge is available to everyone through his tapes through his books. They’re available, you know, in the library, they’re available through programmes like yourself, and truly the most transformational information in my life. The last 25 years has come through listening to programmes in through reading, and then the, the, these iconic people, they’re just people, right? They’re just people like you and me. And you know, they have their challenges, they have their successes. And you just love that relationship. You love that friendship and yes, when you can get around a flock of people, that raises your your ability to see that you Raise your ability to think big. I got around Mark Victor Hansen on and they were doing their jack Canfield and Mark were doing their third chicken soup book. And I was promoting market my two day events. And, you know, Mark said we’re going to sell 100 million books. I could not comprehend that. David, I thought if you sold 10 million, that would be so massively successful. Yeah. And I didn’t think he could I actually actually snickered at him, you know, and I’ve since apologised, and they still 500 million books 500 million books, and I’m getting with him next week, you know, and we were we were talking about all this and, and his ability to think big, truly transformed my life. Now, yes, that is available in his books and the CDs but there is something about Yeah, when you’re around people, it does have that energetic impact on your life and it also challenges you to get better when you’re in I mentioned Phil Collen, earlier Phil is vegan. He’s, I mean, the guy is just massively healthy. And when I’m around him, he energetically challenges me. You know, to want to be better to want to be healthier to want to take care of myself better. And I know he does that with his bandmates. You know, when Def Leppard was on tour, the summer with kiss, Joe and I mean, the whole band. They all looked really well. I mean thing. Yeah, we had done it now. Yeah, actually,
David Ralph [15:30]
Kyle Wilson [15:32]
they do. And in fact, when I was there with with Phil, Paul cook of the Sex Pistols was there along with his wife, Jenny cook and Jenny, I could have swore was like 28 and she’s 51 and she’s a raw foods cook. And I’m just thinking of your UK. tribe here. Okay. But just amazing. You know that that is kind of outside of what you think of the rock star. Culture, but you know, they, you get around people like that It inspires you. But the knowledge itself is available to everyone. And I learned more about Jim’s philosophy through all the programmes I edited. And you know, all the things we create it. In fact, I was impacted by Jim before ever promoted. And that’s why I really sought out to promote him. And so so it’s really two different things. So people don’t have to feel like they’re limited just because they don’t have the relationship. But to get the relationship, you really have to create things that are valuable to valuable people to attract it typically. Not always.
David Ralph [16:39]
Because that statement, as I say, I’m read back today and I pull Wow. And it was I’m read so many sort of statements nowadays, a lot of them sort of blow into one, but that one just leapt out to me if you can be valuable, especially to valuable people, you will attract great things. That seems to me so simple, but a mile away from my house. Most people will consider the future to be made the fact that you can actually reach out to these people that are ahead of the curve not actually ahead of the curve, I created the curve somehow and actually provide something to them.
Kyle Wilson [17:14]
Yeah, it’s actually kind of part two of a big statement. You know, the first part is just being valuable to the marketplace, right? To attract money to attract relationships, to attract success to have a great business. The key is you have to bring value to the marketplace. And that’s what Jim Rohn taught, right. But then the second if you want to take that from, here’s how to be successful to now here’s how to be wealthy, or here’s how to have major influence. If you want to take that basic core philosophy of being valuable to the marketplace. The next step of doing it is then being valuable to valuable people and typically have to do step one first. Right to get the step two, because step one is where you build your, your influence. And then from there, you attract the next level. In other words, if someone came to you and said, Hey, David, I’m going to provide all these incredible things for you, but they’re not actually doing it already. And, you know, with great testimonials, we’re probably not really going to listen. So, you know, it really gets down to, you know, building that core of bringing value to the marketplace first.
David Ralph [18:28]
So so would we sort of categorise it as it’s more important in life to be focused on the great relationships you can get, not the quantity of relationships, because nowadays, people on Facebook and I say, I’ve got hundreds squillion followers and I’ve got all these kind of, you don’t know any of them, you know, that’s 10 of them. Is it better to get the great relationships and the quantity?
Kyle Wilson [18:49]
They both count, you know, if you’re you can’t sell a million books to five people, right? So, you know, the man will Lister So no, I think they all can And you just have to attribute the time or the energy or the boundaries based on the priority of the relationships. I’ve always been a very inner circle type person. I’ll do anything for my inner circle. I’m hard to actually you know, I have friends that you know we’ll fly into the I live in the Dallas Fort Worth area of Texas and they’ll fly in but I’m not always available because I have commitments with my family. But But that doesn’t mean we’re not friends. It doesn’t mean you know, you can’t be all things to all people but I think they all count and you have to back to the percentages. To sell. Let’s say the numbers game is one out of 10 people you talk to will the other nine count right there. They’re still valuable because they might not buy today but they might buy later or they might not have they might not be the the close intimate relationship today, but Might be later. You know, it’s it’s funny how life has a way of kind of going in circles. So I think I think it all counts you want to it’s just realising that there’s just different levels of engagement based on the depth of the relationship.
David Ralph [20:20]
So So if we take you back in time, Carla, we love to do on Join Up Dots. And we took you back to the the young called a five year old a 10 year old back kind of age. Were you focused on relationships? Ben, were you very much? Well, it sounds like you were never going to be the most popular person in the classroom. But it sounds like if you get a group of friends begging to be key friends and you’re going to nurture those relationships, what kind of car would I be looking for if I went back in time?
Kyle Wilson [20:47]
That’s a good question because I was never really relationship driven. But I was I never liked talking about the weather. Right? You know, I did want to have significant good conversation, significant relationships. I don’t know, I think I always march to my own drum. David, I always kind of thought outside the box. I was very independent. Although I did follow the crowd, you know, and follow people down the wrong path many of time I to, you know, equally also was pretty independent, and they moan decisions.
David Ralph [21:27]
So So would you be one of those kids smart when the new kid comes into class? You put your hand up again, I look after him, I look after him, or were you somebody that can take care of themselves. You were really on your own path.
Kyle Wilson [21:39]
Yeah, never occurred to me. I was, you know, for talking when I was young, it never would would have occurred to me. Now I’d be much more, at least empathetic to everyone in an environment. And I don’t feel like I have to be the one that looks out for them, but I want to make sure someone is Right. And if there’s if there’s someone else, that’s the better fit. Awesome, but I’d try and help connect those dots. I’m much more aware today than I would have been as in my younger years.
David Ralph [22:15]
And is that just maturity? Or are you quite simply a different personnel? Can Can you see that you own a totally different path to what you might have been at the beginning?
Kyle Wilson [22:26]
Yeah, I think it’s definitely evolved. It’s, you know, we have you accomplished certain things in life, right. And so now you have to accomplish the next thing and the next thing and I think, for me, you know, I was out to conquer the world. Well, not that I did. But once I kind of satisfied some of those goals, then you find this huge, glaring hole, and for me, it was, I wasn’t a good leader. So then I really focused a decade on being a good leader and building the team and us impacting our are, you know, having a group of people that were really committed in having profit sharing and celebrations and all kinds of things kind of like a soccer team or football team? Right? Yeah. And team goals where the championship is the most important thing and, and I really did that as well. And then from there, I think you get to say, Okay, and then life says, Okay, now here’s another huge glaring hole. And for me, it probably was a lack of empathy, you know, and a lack of thinking outside of terms of being successful or whatever. And, you know, that’s, that’s, that has been a big part of the last five or 10 years. But some people had that already, you know, some people because I would have a group of friends who would tell me they weren’t money motivated. And I and I always was David I truly was but it I use that to give I used it for a lot of positive things in addition to my own, you know, Right. But I did use it, I used it as a way to to, to measure I used as a way to do certain a lot of positive ways. But that was really, in me, I really had a desire to go out and be financially successful, where I had a lot of other friends who were just not as wired that way. They were wired much more this other way, and then I’ve watched them equally. I mean, they nailed that. And so then they start working on their business or they start working on on other areas. So I think we’re all working on different things, but not in the same order. But yeah, maturity obviously, I think we all become more is like, you know, it’s like, presents itself right? we all we all have more things to have contrast at the same you know, that’s that’s not unique to that person. That’s probably part of the whole human condition. That we all go through these different things
David Ralph [25:02]
I find the problem with getting older is that everything becomes grey. I was very black and white when I was younger. If somebody said something to me, I could argue back about anything. But now I can Oh, yeah, I can see a point that there’s always somebody else’s point as I’m getting older. And so I find that in many ways, I’m more focused on certain things. But in other ways, I think to myself, wow, if I had started this when I was younger, I think I could have driven through to a much further point quicker because I, I was on my own path. It was black or white, but now I play to other people’s emotions does Does that make sense?
Kyle Wilson [25:39]
It does and I think and it’s totally where I’m at as well. And but I think for me personally, that black and white did help me stay focused, where now it is a little harder, right? It’s harder to find that conviction at times to you know, God Kiyosaki talks about you got to have an enemy right. You got to have something You’re fighting against and that’s hard for me to conjure up and I’m thankful that that’s hard to conjure up because you know, there are some things that can happen in life that really would create a a mission or a cause right? That that you have to go after but mine is more generalised and but no I I’m with you I can see two points pretty much everything and I think that’s how life is right it has all these opposites you know batteries positive negative, right? Yeah, women the whole thing everything is a contrast. Yeah, yeah, totally. Totally.
David Ralph [26:44]
Well, we the, the sort of enemy within with guys statement of, did you think as I I now see, but the successful people had the enemy within, but the non successful people had the enemy without as seen by see the enemy all around them for reasons why they can’t get things going, they’re the victims. But for the people that actually drive forward, they’re actually battling their own enemy somehow. Okay, can you see that as well?
Kyle Wilson [27:17]
I see, I know a lot of people that really battled the enemy within that have their challenges. So I don’t know, I hear what you’re saying. When I think of a lot of people that are stuck, it’s typically the enemy within. They don’t have the belief there. They’re fear driven. They tell themselves wise.
Unknown Speaker [27:41]
So I don’t know
David Ralph [27:44]
what you scared on Bangkok. What worries you were in your position now that you’ve kind of been there, you’ve done it. But what still wakes you up in the middle of the night with a nagging feeling in your stomach?
Kyle Wilson [27:56]
Yeah, to me, it would typically be I have kids who are, you know, 18 and 21. And, you know, having to learn that new skill set of, it’s not my job to live their life. Right? And so, you know, you always sleep a little better when if they’ve been out when you hear from them in their back end, but you’ve got to let go of all that right. And so it’s that skill level of watching other people make mistakes, watching other people fail. Those would be the biggest things that, you know, we’re pretty fearless sometimes about our own safety. But when it comes to the safety of our family, especially kids, those those definitely would take precedent.
David Ralph [28:46]
I’ll tell you why. I’m not sure if you’re a better father than me or what but when my kids go out, and I’ve got older daughters as well, and they do dress up and they go out and you sort of worry about them. But once I get into bed, I go off to sleep. It’s my wife who stayed awake all night. And then I wake up the next morning and she says, Did you hear them come in? Okay. Well, yeah, kind of kind of now I switch up so you stay awake. You’re a good man. Wilson?
Kyle Wilson [29:11]
Well, no, I’ve learned that I’m learning to, to get to where you’re at. But that’s been that’s been hard. That’s been a big. That’s been a big transition for me the last four or five years. Yeah.
David Ralph [29:24]
But let’s play some words now. But take us on to the second part of the show. And these are words that I play literally every show now because I just love their motivational spirit. And for somebody that’s been surrounded by these kind of statements. I’m going to be fascinated to see how you perceive this one. This is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [29:41]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from it. Father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Good words.
Kyle Wilson [30:11]
powerful words, very powerful. But his dad might have done exactly what his dad was supposed to do. Right? He was there for his family. He was there for his kids. He was doing the best he could do. But it was powerful words for Jim Carrey, right? It that you can hear the authenticity of how much he learned from that.
David Ralph [30:36]
But But this does his dad not sacrifice his dreams? Yes, he’s supporting his family. Yes, he’s doing everything but is he not sacrificing his dreams? Because he doesn’t quite have that personal belief that he could take it to the next level. Whatever level he wanted to be.
Kyle Wilson [30:54]
I don’t know. You know, I don’t I don’t know what the moms you know, I don’t know what that will look like. Right. It’s that time in life and with a family and with the spouse, not knowing how that spouse would react as Hunter. No, I can’t really answer that because I think I know I definitely, you know, once I had kids, I definitely adjusted how I, you know, my schedule my travel, the hours and a lot of decisions, and I think all for the best. And I think things worked out great for Jim but I do think it was a powerful lesson for Jim. But I can’t really judge that
David Ralph [31:35]
when when you actually addressed your issues and you’re travelling, when you look back on it now have you actually become more successful because you have monitored the time that you’re away from the people that you love? Because it seems to me but so many of my guests I bet they want a path but they were thought they were providing the best for their family, but actually when they change direction somehow even more success came To them, because that would give themselves a chance to recharge themselves somehow.
Kyle Wilson [32:06]
Yeah, I think I think their seasons, I think there are seasons that you have permission to go for it and their seasons, you have to wait it out. And I think only you know, and for me, I’ve had seasons where I’ve pulled way back in it wasn’t working. I mean, it was I was, it was there was too much me. Right. Versus, you know, feeling the freedom to go travel more. And so, I don’t know, David, that’s all I can really say is I you, I think there’s times to travel and there’s times not you know, there’s times to be more all in with the family and there’s times to, you know, back off a little bit and especially, you know, if there’s a spouse involved and you know their seasons for them too. So it’s all part of that interdependent, dynamic and
David Ralph [33:01]
And what you want to say too much, you too much you call get back out there
Kyle Wilson [33:06]
that my wife never said that not once no so it I it what in my particular See, I think every relationships unique but in my particular relationship, I really couldn’t use her as a good barometer for what I needed to do. It was more like I just had to do it, whether it was misunderstood or understood. And I just had to go with my own my own
you know, truly seeking what’s best because
you know, for me family always was number one. So it you know, if I want what’s best for me and family’s number one, that’s the filter. I run it all through and not begrudgingly at all. You know, it was always, you know, I got to spend two days with Paul J. Meyer and Paul de Meyers is amazing guy. A lot of people don’t know who he is, but he was the founder of SME success. Innovation Institute and really one of the pioneers of personal development and he had 41 companies at the time, we spent two amazing days together, and I had a pretty good little drive home. And I thought, you know, I learned so much from Paul. And that really, one thing he talked about was long term goals. And for him, he thought in terms of decades, David, so when he every time he would talk about goals, it was he had this decade mentality instead of months, or even years. And it really changed my paradigm on so much. And I remember driving back thinking, you know, I am going to go for it. But I don’t have to do it in three years, it might take 10 years, I started even reframing how I would say things I would talk, start talking more in terms of decades, and that really helped with my family. With that viewpoint of my family, knowing I was going to get to my destination and do it but the time for wasn’t that important?
David Ralph [35:02]
I mean, that’s brilliantly powerful, isn’t it? Because nowadays, we’re all focused on the overnight success, the fact that we can throw up a website, we can speak a couple of words to people, and then suddenly you’ve got a top ranked show or wherever you want to do. But of course, it takes a while doesn’t it? And I think that the the old guys, in the sort of the previous generations, they would know that you need to build up a customer base, you need to build up a business. And in the brick and mortar world, nobody kind of expected it overnight. But in the world that we’re in now, it very much seems to be that that’s the route that people think is a given. And if I don’t get there, then you’re a failure. So what you’re doing is setting your goals out on a longer journey. It just seems more sensible somehow.
Kyle Wilson [35:48]
Yeah, no, absolutely. And you know, so much of what we see when we talk about success in quotation marks. When people say, hey, I want to be the next Anthony Robbins or I want to do this or that I always say, you know, candidly, that’s like hitting the lottery. In other words, you can be as good a speaker as good author or whatever. But you know, getting there first or hit. There’s all these things it takes, right? There’s so many phenomenal musicians, so many phenomenal actors, so many phenomenal speakers. Think of the millions of books out there. So truly, you know, say, Hey, I’m going to be the next you know, right, the next Harry Potter, that is like hitting the lottery. So you, it’s okay to have that, you know, goal somehow. Email is is a dream type goal. I’m all for that, you know, have your dream board have your, your things that you just, you know, that really inspire you. But yeah, on the back, we talked about opposites. You know, be very practical, be very systematic, do all the basics because that’s the guaranteed success right? Going for the Hail Mary. Well, that’s a that’s a Football, United States football symbolic example, I won’t say that. But going for the for the, you know, the big, unbelievable splash in not doing the basics is probably the number one way you can fail guaranteed failure.
David Ralph [37:21]
I’m going to play Oprah now because this is really key to what we’re talking about now making your life a journey, assessing where you are at every stage. This is what Oprah says,
Unknown Speaker [37:33]
the way through the challenge is to get still ask yourself what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it because you know your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says. Failure for you, because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [38:05]
That seems to tie up very nicely to what you were saying a moment ago of setting your goals in decades to giving yourself a chance to make those steps and then look around and see if I the right steps before you do another one.
Kyle Wilson [38:17]
Yeah, I love what Oprah was saying. And it reminds me of a book by Gary Keller. Gary Keller is the founder of the number one real estate company in the United States but maybe in the world, Keller Williams real estate, and he wrote a book called The one thing and the principle the one thing, David, is that there’s one thing that if we did that one thing, it would make the majority of other things on our list, either insignificant, unnecessary, and but here’s the thing, if you do that one thing, then it will start to knock down the dominoes of the next things. And so for me back in the day, it was fill a room if I could fill a room That took care of everything else. I didn’t have to go chase speakers, I didn’t have to go, you know, find products that found me, I just had to fill a room. And so to me, I hear that with what Oprah saying, if you’ll figure out what that next step is. And once you’ve done that next step, then you’ll know the next step. You know, if you’re, if the next steps to write a book, you don’t have to worry about how you’re going to make it a best seller. I mean, there are some strategic things you should do in the title and all that good stuff. But, you know, at the core is, you know, what is that brilliant book and a B, and then the next things, how do I get that, that book in the right hands, and you know, just so forth and so on.
David Ralph [39:39]
I think that’s brilliant about the one thing because I’m very big on the 8020 principle, trying to find my 8020 on everything I do. And it leads me to a certain level of success, but that that’s taking it one step further, isn’t it? But you look at the list and really, really drilled down onto not doing the next thing but doing the right thing.
Kyle Wilson [39:59]
They He, he talks a lot about the 8020 and even doing the AV 20 on the AV 20. And so I highly recommend you get the book. It’s called the one thing by Gary Keller. You’ll love it. It’s very powerful.
David Ralph [40:13]
I’ve written it down and we’ll have it on the show notes as well. So that’d be something for me to read in bed just before I well while while I’m waiting for my daughters to come back drunk from the pub, that’s that’s what that’s what I’ll be doing. So all these people that use or add surrounded yourself with what what makes them different because when when you look at the names that the Jim bones of Brian Tracy’s Ziegler’s, you almost expect them to be sitting in a room like Yoda, very wise individuals just quoting amazing things. All by all by like that or a very normal people. How were they created this, this kind of, I don’t know, this legend about them, that we all sort of hang on there every words.
Kyle Wilson [40:58]
Well, they’re extremely normal. That’s for Sure.
Yeah, that’s a great question. I mean, I think when when you when you watch one of these reality singing shows, I mean, someone comes on, and they’re just phenomenal singer, right? They they were born with that. So yes, they have to work hard. They have to do all these amazing things. But they do have a gift. I mean, Eric Clapton have a gift to play the guitar, right? So there’s only one Jim Rohn. I mean, Jim Rohn had a gift of taking you and I could we, the three of us can have a conversation. And Jim could take whatever we’re saying in re say it in such a way we would all have an aha, go, Oh, wow. That’s amazing. That that’s not something he was taught. That’s not something he worked on. Now. Again, the greats do work very hard, right. They’re very disciplined and they have amazing habits. But most of them are also very gifted. And, again, there’s exceptions. There are some who purely willed it. You know, they outworked everyone they Yes. But but they also had a genius, you know, a way of figuring all that out as well. So but though the majority of the people I know are very, very normal, they’re not there. proselytising or teaching or educating. They’re actually having, you know, a real conversation,
David Ralph [42:31]
because I’ve read a lot and I’ve heard a lot about Anthony Robbins and to be on and I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible. But he sounds like a freak of nature because even the most positive people that I’ve met and I’m a very positive person, but he’s like beyond fat. He’s when you hear these stories of how he’s overcome things, you kind of thing. How have you got your mind to that level of positivity? It is astonishing.
Kyle Wilson [42:58]
Yeah, and Anthony One God and I’m just not worked with much. I’ve talked to him a couple of three times. And, you know, I know him but that’s not someone I really spent time with. But you know, he, he’s had to learn to write he’s, he’s had his own challenges and he’s had to learn I think, though he’s very, very gifted. So he’s a genius. He’s very gifted, but I doubt if he’s Mr. Positive all the time, I think he’s had to you know, he’s had his relational conflicts and things like everyone else. But he is a very gifted speaker in definitely has the ability to move people you know, transformational Lee, move people.
David Ralph [43:43]
So So what’s your gift car? Well, when when you’re sitting in a room and you’re surrounded by these people, it can be very easy to go, Oh, my God, I’m not working. But you obviously hold your own and do better than hold your own. So what’s actually your gift that up vite tuvan
Kyle Wilson [44:02]
Yeah, I’m a strategic thinker, David, I mean, I typically can see things pretty quick, I can see gifting. So to me if, if I had 10 speakers, I would have 10 totally different plans on what I would do with the speakers and what I’ve done. And I’ve been an agent and all that for many, many speakers, in addition to Jim Rohn, and we’ve crafted game plans for them, and they’re all just totally unique. And so I think that’s my gift is the ability to say, you know, here’s your talent, here’s your desires and goals, because you never want to create a game plan that’s contrary to what someone’s passion is, or their desires are, you know, here’s the inventory of what you have to work with. Let’s go create a game plan with that, and then help really connect those dots. And so I think I have almost the sixth sense about that. Have seen you know where the fit is and then try not to you know, make a score of it and A circle, you know, just making sure it’s all totally congruent. Because here’s the, here’s the bottom line is two years from now, three years from now, if it doesn’t work out, then it’s all a big waste of time anyway. So the key is you want plans that really make sense and they’re strategically aligned, and that you end up with what you really want it. You know, at the end of the day, you ended up with what you really want it to do. And I think I have that ability if I’m with it doesn’t have to be a speaker. You know, it’s part of the whole lessons from network. I have people from all kinds of businesses, so just that strategic mindset, and also I’m a good collaborator. I am always thinking, and it’s what a promoter is. I’m a promoter, right? So I tend to, to want to tell other people’s stories. I want to help the world know about that person in that gift and sign a light. And if I know in Kim’s that way, right, you met me Through killed Yeah, miraculously. And so Kim, what do you want to do? She wanted to connect you with me. She’s a connector and I do that as well. I like to connect.
David Ralph [46:09]
And so have you always had these skills? If we take you back again? Are you playing to your natural life skills the things that you were literally born with or have you developed them as you’ve gone along?
Kyle Wilson [46:22]
Definitely have developed them.
I I think on the strategic aspect, I I’ve always had that but I you know, it’s like being a chess player. If you play chess, right, you have to look three or four or five moves down. So I’ve always kind of had that mindset but definitely had to develop it and you really can’t develop it in business till you have something to work with. Right? And so it’s working through all the the pieces and trying to figure out you know, how to put on a little event then put on, you know, a huge event that has, you know, film crews and VIP stuff then 10 different than, you know putting on a circus, right? And then the negotiations with all the speakers and you’re gonna sell products. So the levels of complexity these all just keep lifting and that develops your skill set as well.
David Ralph [47:15]
You doing your job must be like being pecked to death by 1000 pigeons, when you’re in the centre of it, they must all be wanting a bit of you over time so that they can go off and do their thing. Do you thrive in that environment? Or do you sometimes go out for God’s sake Just leave me alone for 10 minutes.
Kyle Wilson [47:32]
Now I do not thrive in that environment that the key to that is building the team and only you know for me at this is this is something that’s been a strength is only work with people I want to work with. I’m very quick to say no. Because the last thing I want to do is like I was saying earlier is get a divorce right if I already see it’s going to be a divorce. And this was a great that a wisdom I got from Zig Ziglar And you might know this David, but this book called 52, lessons I learned from Jim Rohn, and other legends, and I list all these different lessons and the one from Zig was never do a good deal with the bad guy. And that has saved me. That’s why I’ve never seen anyone it has saved me because there’s, there’s like, here’s this amazing thing and offer and couldn’t be any better. And it’s like, but I know it’s not gonna work. We’re not philosophically aligned. I don’t, you know, that’s not someone I want to work with, you know, and or I just know it’s not going to turn out good. So being able to say no to those so yeah, you definitely have to put the odds in your favour. You have to have a team you have to have boundaries and you have to have people you walk working. And
David Ralph [48:44]
by easy gut review, is it gut intuition when you when you meet these people and you think, oh, I don’t know. Is it just experience that has grown up or is it’s all your gut intuition.
Kyle Wilson [48:56]
Yeah, it’s a little bit. It’s definitely some gut instinct. experience, and you have ways of testing people, right? I’m always looking for people that are Win Win oriented. You know, when someone you know when when you can put the bait out, if you will, to see how someone would handle a deal. And if it’s not when when I’m already kind of thinking, Man, I don’t know if I’ll work with them because I always try and come to someone having thought through their best interest in mind. Now I have to act to learn more about them and what would be in their best interest, but I want to present a deal that answers a lot of the questions they’re trying to solve, as well as what I’m trying to solve. And you know, if you have that opportunity, right, that’s the goal. So if someone knows what I’m trying to solve, and they offer me Canada win lose deal. That tells me a lot. But yeah, it’s it’s all the above experience intuition, but a few little test ropes as well.
David Ralph [49:54]
Let’s play the words. Now that frame the whole show. We call it Join Up Dots, because this chap said some remarkable things back in 2005. And one of the things he talks about in this bit is about trusting your gut and your intuition. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [50:09]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [50:45]
So do you have a big.in your life car when you look back? I love asking this question when you look back on your life and you think Yeah, that was probably when it started going in the direction that I wanted.
Kyle Wilson [50:55]
Is this me talking to my younger self?
David Ralph [50:57]
No, just you were going to be doing that later. You’re totally Guess, Jamaica?
Kyle Wilson [51:02]
I wouldn’t sure do I have? I have lots of dots. I really do. I have. I have lots of pivotal terms. Right. If you look at Steve Jobs life, obviously he had several pivotal dots. But yeah, absolutely. But yeah, the biggest one for me was, I mean, I grew up in a small town, David and I had a service station in a detail shop, you know, where I clean cars, right. And I had built it pretty successfully. I was in my early 20s. And I had bought a little house and fixed it up. I made the decision I needed to move to the city as kind of a big fish in a small bowl. And so I I sold the business sold my house, moved to Dallas and tried to do the same thing on a bigger scale in through a whole series of circumstances. Is I ended up in the seminar business. And through a even more bizarre set of circumstances, I’m promoting Jim Rohn. And so those dots were just, you know, I could have never is Steve Jobs, you know, I could have never predicted I’m going to work with Jim Rome, I could have never predicted these relationships. And though in those regards, I can take no credit, it was a bit of a destiny, if you will, because it wasn’t that I was so great or had done anything to deserve those opportunities. It was just meant to be and i think i think there’s a lot of dots that I can look back over the years and say, Wow, that was a pivotal moment. And just as he was saying, I had to take a risk. I had to do something that didn’t make a lot of sense to go a totally different direction. That totally proved out to be serendipitous.
David Ralph [52:58]
Well, I think you can take credit, can you up Anyone who has the kind of life that you you built for yourself can take credit of taking action. You could have stayed there with the sort of garriage in our petrol station or whatever, and just live there and say, Well, this is it. I built this, but you didn’t you threw it up in the air and you went again. And I think that’s where the credit fools, isn’t it?
Kyle Wilson [53:20]
It is. Uh, yeah, definitely, definitely. I can take credit for, you know, action I took and disciplines and those thousand decisions to stay up a little later, or make the extra phone call. I mean, there’s some things I’ve had happened, David, that was like a six month period of time that I don’t think I could have achieved a particular goal, if I would have missed any of those little disciplines along the way. Yeah. That that it’s like ultimately when that moment comes, I had just done something that if I had not had it ready, I would have missed this huge opportunity. So yeah, and all those definitely, definitely. So but But again, having the once in a lifetime relationship with Jim Rohn, his 18 year business partner and to have had that and some of the other cool relationships, you know that that’s something it’s not like I’d had it on a goal list. So in that regard,
David Ralph [54:19]
hey, over dots, just the join up card and they all the dots jointed.
Kyle Wilson [54:23]
They do truly
David Ralph [54:25]
Well, this is the part of the show, but I’m going to send you back in time you were so you were so eager for this one, I’ve got to bring it forward. And this is the thing that we call the Sermon on the mic when I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young call, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m gonna play the theme tune and when it beats you up, this is the Sermon on the mic
Unknown Speaker [54:55]
go with the best bit of the show.
Kyle Wilson [55:12]
Hey, little Kyle, this is big Kyle and you’re seven years old and I know you have ideas and you have the sense of destiny, the sense of greatness and just to let you know, people will show up, mentors will show up. People will say the right thing at the right time that will steer you in a direction to let you know that you don’t have to just look what’s in front of you is saying no, that’s that’s your limitations, extra destiny but you can truly step outside of the norm. follow a path a half for you, and embrace the opportunities and just realise mentors. coaches, teachers will show up.
David Ralph [55:56]
How can our audience connect with you
Kyle Wilson [56:01]
My website is Kyle Wilson calm. And if they go to Kyle Wilson comm slash Connect, it actually has all my social media links. And it also has my 52 lessons ebook. And then also we have the lessons from network.com, which is really cool, some amazing people are in it. And so Kyle Wilson calm and lessons from network. com will have
David Ralph [56:28]
all the links in the show notes. Carl, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Mr. Carl Wilson, thank you so much,
Kyle Wilson [56:44]
David, what a pleasure really enjoyed it. The time flew by such a pleasure meeting you and thanks for the opportunity.
David Ralph [56:53]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcasters. mastery.com the only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcasters mastery.com now,
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.