Nichole Kellerman Wurth Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Nichole Kellerman Wurth
Nichole Kellerman Wurth is today’s guest on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business podcast.
She is a lady who has a story that so many ladies, and I suppose men can resonate with.
For many years she has battled with the issue that many people struggle with each time they look into the mirror.
Her body did not look like how she wanted it to look, and no matter how many diets, exercise sessions and days starving herself she went through, it was never good enough.
Upon leaving High School she realised that she wanted to lose some weight, in fact 30 pounds and set about doing that for the next two years.
But growing up she was never taught the importance of clean eating healthily or exercising.
So she was utterly lost on where to start.
But what happens when you realise that the battle is not the way to go?
How The Dots Joined Up For Nichole
What happens when a person comes into your life that can lose weight by having fun and living?
Well this happened with our guest and as she says” He was “Live In The Moment King” and his life philosophy was get out, have fun and live like there’s no tomorrow.
This was uncharted waters for me and super scary, to be honest.
I was definitely your typical “Type A.” Checklist, to-dos and well-thought-out plans were the foundation of my life (if I could’ve planned my entire life, I probably would’ve).
But I was so sick and tired of living with the perpetual abusive thoughts that I was willing to set my fear aside and start *really* living, no matter how scary it felt.”
And now the transformation is amazing as we will discuss on todays show.
So is it about being in a state of fear and challenging yourself, that really gets the juices flowing and help bring about weight loss?
Or is it just that by focusing in on other things you realise the best things occur naturally, and not by forcing the issue?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Nichole Kellerman Wurth.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Nichole Kellerman Wurth such as:
How she loves living in the mountains of America, and feels the slow pace of life really allows herself to thrive, and is a stark contrast to her childhood.
How she now feels that she is addiction free, especially in regards to her work and loves nothing more than focusing in on her vision of whats shes building.
How she has learnt to forgive her parents for the childhood she had, and can now see that so many of her clients need to embrace their own forgiveness to move forward.
How she found it so her hard letting her husband take control of the finances from her business, but is really glad that she has done just that.
How no matter how dark the periods of her life, she can see with total clarity that there is a gift to be had. There is learning to be gleaned in everything we do.
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Full Transcription Of Nichole Kellerman Wurth Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com, the premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro check us out now. podcasters mastery.com
when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:38]
Yes, hello there world. How are we hope you’re feeling good. It’s all sunny in the United Kingdom today. So at the open, tickly good, it feels like summer just around the corner. And of course, I feel particularly good because I’m the host of Join Up Dots and it’s a show that’s really starting to rock and roll. It kind of went off quite quickly in the early days, but it meant plateaued and now it’s going up again. So it’s huge. The extra Writing time and it means that I get to speak to people like I’ve got on the show today. She is a guest that has a story. But so many ladies and I suppose men can resonate with for many years she’s battled with the issue but many people struggle with each time they look into the mirror a body did not look Look how she wanted it to look and no matter how many diets exercise sessions and days starving herself she went through it was never good enough. Now upon leaving high school she realised that she wanted to lose some weight in fact 30 pounds and set about doing that for the next two years but growing up she was never taught the importance of eating healthfully and exercising so she was actually lost on where to start. But what happens when you realise that the battle is not the way to go? What happens when a person comes into your life that can lose weight by having fun and living now that sounds perfect? Well this happened with our guest and as she says, he was the live in the moment King and he’s life philosophy was get out have fun and live life. There’s no tomorrow This was uncharted waters for me, and super scary To be honest, I was definitely your typical type a checklist to do’s and well for our plans with a foundation of my life. If I could apply my entire life, I probably would have been so sick and tired of living with a perpetual abusive force, I was willing to set my fear aside and start really living no matter how scary it felt. And now the transformation is amazing as we would discuss on today’s show. So is it about being in a state of fear and challenging yourself that really gets the juices flowing and helps bring about weight loss? Or is it just that by focusing in on other things, you realise the best things occur naturally, and not by forcing the issue? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Nichole Kellerman Wurth. How are you Nicole?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [2:43]
I’m doing great. Hello, everyone.
David Ralph [2:45]
Hello to Nicole everybody say hello a be great if we could all cheer at once I go, Nicole gonna go. So whereabouts are you? Nicole, you are? Well, I think I’d read it somewhere you in Portland, Oregon. Is that right?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [2:59]
No, I’m actually Vail, Colorado so I’m in the mountains.
David Ralph [3:02]
Where did I get Portland, Oregon? Have you lived in Portland, Oregon, I have not know so many women in my life, it’s got embarrassing Nicole you could be could be anywhere. So um, what was life like where you are, then give yourself a flavour of what you do on a daily basis.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [3:19]
It’s beautiful here. I feel like I live in one of the most majestic places in the world. I’m so lucky to walk out my door and be able to ski in about five minutes. It’s a very low key place to live. I really like it. It’s really good for me because I’m highly sensitive. And if I’m in the city, get stressed out really easily. So the slow paced lifestyle and the connection to nature is I’m never leaving. It’s awesome.
David Ralph [3:46]
So you think you’ve found your place?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [3:49]
David Ralph [3:50]
Have you always wanted that kind of slow pace and I tell you I was watching a programme last night and this is what sort of leading up to me. And there was a lady who was Growing up in the City of London, she was doing a very high powered job in the city of London. And she decided that she had had enough of it. And now she lives in the Arctic Circle with Huskies, and it’s freezing cold and it’s snowy and to be honest, it looked dreadful, but she loved every minute of it. And she said, I could never go back to the city. I like the fact that everything I do is something to do and what she meant by that. It wasn’t just a case of putting the plates in the dishwasher. She had to go and get the water and heat the water up and men do to play so it was like a slower pace, but she he found it embracing you feel the same kind of way Then do you?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [4:40]
Yeah, I mean, I’m not quite that lifestyle, though, that I have dreamt about having a life like that for sure. But it’s I don’t think it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t think people realise at least people who are born into more of a fast paced environment. I don’t think we realise how all of this stuff really does affect us subconsciously. Like when I moved out to the mountains, I was very uncomfortable. The the silence and the serenity and the peacefulness was so unusual for me, like I didn’t really know how to adjust it was, it was it took some getting used to, but then when I got there, it felt so good. And then especially when I come back home, and I’d get into Denver, I would just feel the energy rise up in my body and like all these the traffic and the noise and the light noise, you know, like all that stuff, and I would just crave wanting to be back with nature and in peace. And so I don’t think I mean, it’s, I’ve never heard anybody honk the horn. It’s very low key. It’s such a laid back environment because people are so happy because they’re always outside. They’re always connected. They’re very exercise oriented, but outside as well. So it’s really nice. So So when
David Ralph [5:55]
it sounds perfect, it really does and I’ve spoken to many people who Denver because Denver seems to be the entrepreneurial hub, one of the places that people go, who are really sort of driving their own life and taking action. Now that sounds lovely as well. So D, obviously, we’re going to touch on your weight loss programme. And it’s more than that, isn’t it? It’s really taking control of your life and doing the scary things and transforming yourself. But is it easier to build a platform like that if your surroundings fit naturally? Is it easier to be fit? If you step out your door, and five minutes later, you can be skiing.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [6:33]
I would say that’s actually one of the obstacles and I’m still kind of facing now is it is such a small town that it’s hard to find like minded people in terms of like having an online business. A lot of people don’t really understand what that means. And I don’t know it’s, it’s actually I feel like it’s more of a challenge. I feel like I have to drive down to Denver. A lot more to Fine kind of my crew, in a sense, that understand and get me because entrepreneurs, you know, they are cut from a different cloth, for sure. And so it I would say it’s actually a little bit more challenging. I need to put myself out there a little bit more put that out there as well. But yeah, I think Denver, driving down to Denver would make it easier.
David Ralph [7:19]
So So are you more kind of the work comes to you, would you be happier if your clients just naturally found you more than going out and flexing the old hustle muscle and being entrepreneurial?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [7:33]
Um, I don’t know. That’s a really great question. Because sometimes here’s what I believe, I believe sometimes if we push, push, push, push, push, in a sense, like say for example, you’re really promoting a certain programme, and you have all these great sales emails going out. People are a lot of people will sign up because the doors are open as opposed to sound Signing up because they’re truly and 100% ready, when a client comes to you, they have worked through all of those fears of what’s going to happen when you work together to make a financial investment, blah, blah, blah, there’s not a lot of convincing. They’re really intuitively in their heart and soul ready for this move. But when you’re promoting something, you’re like, Okay, well, doors are closing in five days. Now is the time that’s not going to be offered again, for a lot of people, it is the push that they really need. But for some people, they don’t end up succeeding because it wasn’t really the right time for them. So it’s, I think it’s a balance. I really think it’s a balance of the two and trying to get both. It must be quite difficult or imagine
David Ralph [8:43]
it must be quite difficult to build up urgency in your business. When you’re in such a lovely, slow paced environment. It’s a lot easier to sort of drive it by being in the hub where everybody’s doing something similar.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [8:59]
Well, I mean, I mean, my business is based online. I don’t actually have any clients in the Vail Valley they call it the valley. Um, but I, I have struggled with the addiction of work, you know, like I think a lot of entrepreneurs and I I’m happy to say that I feel like I am addiction free, because I used to have addiction with work and being an overachiever and at one point my body and exercise and being perfect and then it got into my business and I do feel like I’m 100% addiction free, because you know, if you don’t really work on that mindset piece, your addictions just roll over into other areas. But I’ve really tried to embody of a business of ease and making this easy on myself because I pushed for so hard. Two years I push, push, push to try to make my business a success, and I got nowhere I almost lost my now husband. I almost lost a lot of my friends. I put myself in so much financial debt. I was pushing so hard, I was working so hard, and I wasn’t getting anywhere I was dead broke, I had no clients. And I was like, I don’t understand this doesn’t make any sense to me. I’m working my butt off here like harder than it ever worked in my life and nothing’s happened. But when I start to like really open myself up to really my path, not the path that I’m creating for myself by manipulation by forcing by control, when I just kind of let my body and my intuition and the universe kind of guide me on what feels good things. Again, it’s not like it totally comes easy and I sit, you know, kick my feet up and watch the money roll. It’s not that type of ease. It’s an internal ease. It’s a calmness within your body as you’re navigating business.
David Ralph [10:52]
I think that spot on and I think I find that time and time again on this show, but people are pushing against closed door in the early days and they’re pushing no closed doors hard to open, you push against one that’s not locked, it opens up very, very easily. And they find that more often than not that when they find the thing that flows and is easy, that’s when the best things occur. You’ve got to look for those heavy pushing sessions and wonder why you’re pushing so hard and why things aren’t just occurring for you.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [11:27]
Right? Yep, exactly.
David Ralph [11:29]
So when when you look back on it now, with your experience that you gained, would you do things differently? Can you look back and see that you was pushing against the wrong door?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [11:41]
Well, yeah, absolutely. But I don’t think I would go back and change it because I learned though those were two very rough years. I mean, I’m feeling like I was the lowest of low. I was not only beating up my business and not being good enough, I’d obviously beat up my body and a lot of different types of emotional abuse on myself. But I learned so much through the process. And I really trust that I was meant to go through that struggle, even though a lot of my peers were doing so much better than myself. And I would ask myself, what the heck am I doing wrong? I’m working just as hard. I think that I think there was divine intervention there. I was meant to go through that. And because here’s the thing, I know that I could have forced myself to be successful. I am. Because I feel like I would make it happen. I have a very determined attitude, right. And so I would find a way. And I just want to say I would find a way that would compromise my integrity and create a lot of manipulation and unethical, unethical. Like I know I would make it happen from a very negative fear based place. And I think I went through that and the universe was really showing me like You can try, but it’s really going to suck. But if you tune into yourself, and you let go and you trust the process, and you take a deep breath and relax every once in a while and go out and have fun, and enjoy your life, you can have a successful business and so much more if you just relinquish the control and let the magic work itself and not you trying to manipulate it.
David Ralph [13:27]
Because it There’s a wonderful picture. It’s your skype picture, but I’ve seen it on your website as well. And you’re sort of, you’ve got your arms back, and your chest out and your it looks like the sun is on your face. He just looks like you’re in a moment of bliss. And is that an image that is recent, does that tie into what we’re talking about now? Or was that something that you wanted for yourself? And it was almost convincing. That’s the way to go by by demonstrating that image.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [13:54]
So yeah, that image was actually recent. And, and again, I don’t believe that I could have felt That, and the people who see the picture, like, let’s get honest, there’s energy behind images. And I could have faked that at one point. But I don’t think it would have been as well received because that’s actually the picture on the main on my website on the banner of my website. And that’s how I want women to feel on all levels. This isn’t just about freedom in your body and freedom and around food, but freedom in your life because again, I had that very addictive, obsessive personality. And I I was raised to believe that life was a struggle, you know, like, that’s what was modelled to me. That’s what I believed, and everything needed to be hard. And it was through all this work, that I realised that I needed to really let go and throw my head back in my arms back and look up into the sky and let the sun hit my face and take a deep breath of relief and just surrender to the moment. You know, like that’s really what life is about is just letting things naturally Truly flow.
David Ralph [15:01]
I don’t think it’s funny. Now I’m doing this job. I do think that life has to be hard for you to learn. But the nuts and bolts, there’s no way that you can develop something that is valuable, powerful, and inspirational without actually having to put some effort in. So I do think at the beginning, it’s got to play hard. But then there’s got to come a point where you paid your dues, and then that’s when the rewards start coming to you. And I’m certainly finding it now in the early days of doing this show, it almost killed right, it literally did, right. And now because things just get easier, you get faster at it, you become more professional, then you can bring extra time in which brings all the other opportunities forwards. So with your actual building of your business, are you somebody now that kind of thinks guide me seven days a week to do that? And now I’m doing in three days are you that person
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [16:00]
Yeah, I mean, you, you, I mean, build efficiency, you build systems, right? It’s so nice. It’s, it’s sometimes and sometimes it’s uncomfortable. I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but you’re so used to working so hard. And being so involved that when you start hiring out and you have a team, and you have all these systems in place that you’ve worked so hard to implement, and and coach people on how to use them, and then when things start to just happen on its own, and you know, the machine is running on its own, in a sense, it is kind of like, should I be doing something right now? Okay, well, maybe I’ll just go on the patio with some tea and a good book. It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but it’s like,
David Ralph [16:44]
how have you managed because a lot of people out there want to get VHS and virtual assistants or assistance or whatever. And I’ve actually funnily enough, in the last few weeks, I’ve hired my first VA and I found it quite hard to train them on the But I could do with a click my fingers because I’ve been doing it. And I laid it out absolutely step by step by step by step. And I made videos step by step by step by step. And then after about six days, they were still saying to me, we’re going through the videos learning the process, and I was thinking up a good site, you should be able to do it. Now. It’s quicker for me to do it. I’ll just do it. But I’ve had to allow them to get up to speed. How have you managed to do that? How have you managed to train those philosophies out and those systems?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [17:30]
Right? Well, I mean, I think obviously, from a mechanical standpoint, just what you said, the step by step, the videos are really great. And that controller in you wants to say, you know what, I can just do this so much quicker. I’m just going to do it. But you have to remember your bigger vision with your business. Do you always want to be doing this, this process that anybody could do and just because you can do it quicker? means you should do it? No, I mean, and it takes time and it takes time. you’re investing time you’re in investing money in these people. But I think I mean, I’ve obviously went through a few assistants myself, you have to be willing to go through them and to tune in if they’re not a good fit. I actually ended up hiring a client of mine because she was just, she was so in line with what was going on with me. She knew my philosophy. I had a good feeling about her like I had the idea to hire her. It’s not like I was seeking someone out. I knew that I needed some extra help in an area but it wasn’t like desperate. And I just had the like aha moment and things have been working really well. But I’ve gone through a few I’ve gone through through through three or four days. And it’s not always fun letting one go because then you have to train another one. But you just have to remember you know what your bigger vision is knew what this is like your baby, you know, like this is a child to your business is like a baby and you want to be able to dress it with someone who really respects you and you respect them.
David Ralph [18:55]
So if we step back in time, like we’d like to do on Join Up Dots and you You’re in college and or high school and you leave high school and you you, I’m not sure whether you put the weight on or you will naturally carrying extra weight around with you. What made you think at that point that you needed to lose weight? Because I would imagine going through high school, especially for a girl, that’s when peer pressures at its worst, and that’s when there’s sort of them, the cheerleaders all bouncing around and all doing that kind of stuff. Was that the right time to try to lose the weight? Or was that just something that you’d carried around for a while?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [19:31]
No, I didn’t have I didn’t have a body image issue through high school. Um, I you know, and I truth be told I didn’t run with the best crowd. Even though I did really strive for good grades and from the outside some people would think that I was living a different life than I really was. I kind of hung out with more of the the troublesome crowd and so I didn’t really be popular wasn’t a it wasn’t a focus for me. But when I got out of high school and I gained 30 pounds. I was very uncomfortable in my body because I gained it quickly. But oh, here’s let me point out that when I was in high school, I had a self esteem issue, which I didn’t realise until I actually had a summer where I worked with a woman with an eating disorder. I didn’t know it at the time. But it was just her and I had a daycare, doing lifeguarding, and she was walking around in a bathing suit all the time, and she was smaller than me. And she would constantly poke and pinch her body and talk about how fat she was. All she would talk about is her body. And at the end of the summer, I had developed a full blown eating disorder and image disorder myself, because it just it was that I had a really low self esteem and I think this is just kind of how it emerged. And then that’s when I went into my dieting rampage.
David Ralph [20:49]
And it wasn’t rampage Wasn’t it you when you have a committed woman, now, I can’t be healthy to go as you did because you are very attractive lady and I’m trying to work out why you had such low self esteem.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [21:04]
I had a kind of a rough childhood. I was raised by two alcoholics. I was raised in the party house. And even though my parents did love me, let me just put that out there. They did care for me. We had food on the table, but I never felt like this is how I see it. I never felt like I got the attention that I really deserved. So I my addiction, all through, you know, I started working when I was 14, I had three jobs all the time I’d worked for straight A’s, though I wouldn’t reach them I would really work hard to be like a high honour student. And I felt like I was doing a few things. I feel like I was keeping myself busy so I wouldn’t have to face the reality of my drunk parents partying. And I was trying to seek approval. Like tell me I’m good enough told me I’m good enough. You know, prove to me with your time that you’re willing to sacrifice the partying To read me a book, and that never really happened and so I felt like as a child, I, I perceived that as I’m not good enough, and so I was doing all these things to prepare to prove my attention. I can I can be worth it like, Look, look, look, I got A’s Look, I have three jobs look, you know, like I was just working so hard for
David Ralph [22:21]
the time or only as an adult looking back.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [22:26]
I didn’t realise how bad things were. I didn’t realise that this is not how everyone lived. Because truth be told, again, I I ran with a crowd that had very similar upbringings as mine. And so all of my friends, parents did drugs and drink alcohol too. So I thought that that was normal. It wasn’t until I was 19. And I started hanging out with a few new people. And I would go to their houses and I’d be like, oh, they’re not drinking, they’re not partying, their house is really clean and the windows are open, you know, like, and that’s when it started to hit me like oh, this is not reality, like this is not how everybody lives. And that that’s when I think my whole body image stuff and my self esteem kind of started tumbling down. And my world kind of came crashing down because I even asked myself do I even know my parents if they were drunk 80% of the time that I was with them? Do I know them? Do they remember my childhood because I never hear stories of my childhood. And so it all just kind of tumbled.
David Ralph [23:24]
And do you think now that’s why you like the quiet life that you’re living?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [23:29]
David Ralph [23:32]
It’s as simple as
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [23:34]
Yeah, I really do because it was a bit I was. I was very stressed out child. very stressed out. I grew up very quickly. Obviously I raised my little brother, basically and I think I never had I never had an opportunity to feel peacefulness ever because I was always so stressed coming home. And so I think my I’m obviously been craving some peace and quiet and serenity because I haven’t had it really Ever my younger days,
David Ralph [24:02]
and with the clients that you work with all this similar sort of themes that run through their lives? Are you finding people that want to work with you that when you you’re working with them, you kind of think, yeah, I’ve been?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [24:16]
Yep. Yeah, I have attracted people with some, I won’t say all some people with similar upbringings. But not all. Absolutely, because this is a thing, and I have some, because I’m big on forgiveness work. A huge part of having the life and the health that you want is you have to forgive those past wounds. You know, you really have to, I had to forgive my parents, which has been one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done in my entire life. And so some people will say, you know, well, my parents weren’t like yours, you know, like we, we went to church and, and things like that. And it’s like, well, it doesn’t mean that there’s still some forgiveness work that needs to be had there. They could love you. I’m not saying that your parents are wrong or did anything to maliciously hurt you. But they may have modelled a behaviour that in that time and to them was socially acceptable. Maybe it’s that, you know, women don’t speak up, you don’t express your feelings, you keep it all in, you know, and, and so like forgiving that mindset and that model and understanding that that’s probably what their mother taught them is it’s a part of the process. So it’s not like you have to have this crazy, horrible childhood to have to forgive your parents for some things in the past. Again, they’re not doing it maliciously. I don’t think my parents were maliciously trying to hurt me, but it’s how I perceived it as a child. And so I think it’s still a part of the process. No matter how amazing your upbringing I think forgiveness work is will always be the key to so much happiness.
David Ralph [25:45]
I honestly as you’re saying that I’m thinking to myself, I don’t think there’s anything for me to forgive. I couldn’t imagine forgiving anyone for anything. Did you feel that everybody’s got that in them that they should find somebody to forgive
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [25:59]
well, I mean, maybe you kind of processed past hurts your own way. Maybe you don’t need to necessarily do like a forgiveness exercise for a particular event. But here’s the thing, this stuff comes up in my work. So it’s not like us sitting here consciously thinking, Oh, what can I say? That’s hard. That’s hard to do. But you know, say I’m working with a client, and she keeps sabotaging herself. She keeps eating sugar at night. She keeps not following, you know, her exercise regimen, how she wants to move her body, and it keeps coming up and keeps coming up and keeps coming up. And it’s like, Okay, this is not about the sugar. It’s not about the exercise. It’s something deeper. It’s a limiting belief. And I’m like, do you know we start to really explore it? Do you ever felt feel like, no matter what, you won’t be good enough, so maybe they had a father who was really hard on them. He was doing it because he loved her, of course, really pushing her but she never felt like no matter what she could do. Her dad would always feel like great job, honey, but you can could be doing better. And so then she has this this belief system that no matter how hard I try, I will always not be good enough. So why even bother? And then the sabotage comes up. Do you see what I’m saying? So it’s through the process of diving in and bettering your life and I’m sure you came up with some sort of limiting belief as you’re growing your business. I mean, it’s like a personal development course. And it’s in itself. It’s it’s in that that you find those belief systems that you’re like, Whoa, I didn’t even realise I thought that way. It’s like okay, well that thought was usually plan did before the age of around the age of five or before because that’s when we lay the foundation of most of our belief system, and who’s usually associated associated with that is our parents or teachers or childhood friends. So there is some forgiveness work. Usually, when you’re really pushing yourself.
David Ralph [27:52]
Well, I’ll tell you what, I feel like I’m pushing myself big time and if I do find my forgiveness, I’m going to let you know you’ll be the first person Cuz I can’t imagine I’ve had a lovely life. It’s just been a breeze for my entire from the moment I popped out all the way till I come out anything to rally against at all.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [28:11]
But maybe you don’t hold resentments. Maybe you do it like I said, maybe you just have a natural process that when something does happen that is a little hurtful. You don’t like store that in your body, you don’t think about it unconsciously. You kind of somehow move because I think about my husband Zach, very similar. You know,
Unknown Speaker [28:35]
it’s very easy.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth[28:35]
My husband Zach, he’s very like
David Ralph [28:38]
slowly I miss her
Nicole Kellerman Wurth [28:40]
same same thing. Like he probably would say the same thing. I don’t really feel like I have that much forgiveness work to do in my past. And he has had a really easygoing, like fun loving attitude towards life. People don’t have that like myself, who is highly sensitive and takes Little jabs and kind of hold on to them. Do you see what I’m saying? So if you might have just processed it in your own natural, beautiful way, you don’t necessarily need to go through this whole process like I do with some of my clients.
David Ralph [29:13]
I’m going to play some words now and I’ve been grappling, whether these are the right words to play, but I feel that they fit the theme of the show. I think that what we’re talking about is people basically fighting life and finding their thing. This is Rocky,
Rocky Balboa [29:26]
you, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
David Ralph [29:43]
Now, when you look at your life, are you surprised at how much you’ve been able to take and keep moving forward?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [29:49]
Yeah, well and again, like I want to bring back to forgiveness work. I was a very angry person when I realised about my childhood. It was very angry I was very stuck in victim missy. But it wasn’t until I rise above it and said, okay, Nicole, like put your big girl panties on. There was a reason why you were meant to go through this. Let’s find the positives in it. And the truth is, I wouldn’t be who I am today without my parents addictions. Bottom line, I would not be who I am. And I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have the life that I have. If it wasn’t for those addictions, and I’m so you have to really take those knockdowns. As a lesson. There’s a lesson that’s been given to you in every single moment where you feel like you’re grappling with something or night life has knocked you down. I feel like there’s always something to learn from it. And it’s not until you open yourself up to the lesson that you can really start moving in the direction that you’ve always wanted to. Again, it’s like holding on to this this victim myth that can just hold you back. It’s like okay, lost a leg. All right? It sucks. Let’s cry, you know, cry about it move through that emotion. I think it’s important to move through that initial emotion. But then saying, Okay, this is life. It’s not perfect. What? Let’s make it work. Let’s make it work. Let’s learn the lesson. Let’s keep going.
David Ralph [31:19]
Well, which, which is the whole theme of Join Up Dots, but your good thoughts and your bad thoughts, they all join up and when you’re going through those worst times, and you’ve been just why is it happening to me? Why is it happening to me? You look back on it two years later, and you go, thank God, it happened to me, thank God, it happened to me because he pushed me into some kind of key area. And that’s the problem that people have, I think, is that they don’t realise, but they’ve got the decision making capability to actually move out of those dots and move forward into something better by gaining that, that learning I had. I’ve mentioned this in a couple of shows because it really struck home to me, but I had a guest on the show, and he’s named Derek Lie down. And he was talking about a garden. And he was saying, if you imagine all the things that die, and all the horsemen you and all that horrible stuff, backs your black dots and that goes into the ground. But the only way you’re going to get a beautiful garden and the flower is is by going through that black stuff. You’ve got to have both. You’ve got to have light and dark to make a beautiful garden. And I was thinking about that, as in life and nobody’s going to gain success a hobby. If it’s just plain sailing. You’ve got to have those those dark moments when you think failure is all you’re getting surely.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [32:37]
Right? Yeah, I absolutely agree. 100%
David Ralph [32:41]
So let’s talk about us assume that Zach is the living the moment King is he that we’re talking about? Yes, yes. So yeah. How did he come along?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [32:52]
Yeah. So I, I was, you know, through my journey, which you had mentioned at the beginning of the call, is you Through my journey, I had dieted and dated like a freak. And I went to personal training school and I lost the majority of the weight and I went out and started my own personal training business. But I still at the end of the day, you know, when I was really honest with myself was still very unhappy with my body decided that, oh, it’d be a really great job, great idea to you know, get a breast augmentation and then everything would be fine. You’ll be happy with your body, well got the surgery done, still was very unhappy. And I had a fall to my knees moment where I had tried everything on in my closet. It all made me look fat. After I just spent $15,000 on a breast augmentation. And I just fell to my knees and just started crying. And I’m like, What is it going to take? Nicole like you’ve been so unhappy for two years, you’ve done all these diets, you went to personal training school, you lost some of the weight, and now you spent this money and you’re still unhappy. And so it was in that moment that I just kind of surrendered. I was like, I can’t, I can’t cannot take this anymore. I was so exhausted with the thoughts of trying to be better, just get better, just better, you’ll be happy when you’ll be happy when you’ll be happy when, and I would just keep striving and nothing was ever good enough. And so a few months later, and I hate to say that, like a man saved me, I just want to put that out there because I don’t think he saved me. What he did is he gave me a beautiful example of what life was really meant to be about, not what my childhood was, which was a lot of struggle and push, and manipulation and just, you know, just not positive and he was just like a light. He was really like all about having fun, and really enjoying life. And I just started embarking on a lot of his fun adventures, and that’s when I lost and the extra weight that I had. My relationship with food totally changed because I saw it as something that nourished me. And that’s where Wildly Alive Weight Loss came into fruition is like You know, being healthy is not about calories or restrictions or good food or bad food. It’s actually about feeling alive. Because when you are alive and you’re emotionally in a good place, you naturally our bodies are designed to eat healthy, our bodies are designed to move. And so when you’re feeling really good, you just naturally want to make those decisions anyway.
David Ralph [35:23]
Because I think he’s perfect vo and as I sort of alluded to in the introduction, is it the fact that when you’re focusing in on being frightened and challenging yourself, naturally your endorphins and stuff will flow must help about being about weight loss, I would have thought doing stuff that really takes you out of your comfort zone.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [35:43]
Yep, absolutely. Including deeper stuff like forgiveness work, or asking your boss for that raise that you deserved for years, or finally telling your husband that’s something that he said three weeks ago has been eating away you it’s not just like jumping off of a building, or doing a, you know, doing a, an exercise routine that’s really pushing your body, it’s feeling those butterflies in your belly. It’s, you know, I always tell my clients, I want you to feel those butterflies in your stomach at least once a week at the bare minimum because it’s at the edge of your comfort zone when you feel the most alive. And that’s really the foundation of my entire business.
David Ralph [36:26]
I live in a house full of women, and I always wonder why women do hold on for three weeks. And so for three weeks, the man he’s telling you what, what what’s the matter? What’s the matter? I mean, suddenly they go, Well, do you want to know, do you want to know, some weeks ago you said this? Why is that? Why did they do that?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [36:45]
I don’t know. I mean, I think they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of confrontation. Um, you know, it’s just I think, I really think that a lot of it has to do with as children. We aren’t really talking How to process our emotions. I mean, a lot of men now I do think things are changing, let me just say that, but a lot of men have been taught to like hold it in, you know, men don’t cry. No, you know, you’re a wimp if you do that. And for women, I feel like some of that has been tossed down to us as well as you know, you don’t express how you feel sometimes, or there’s good emotion and there’s bad emotion. And if you’re feeling bad, it’s a bad thing. So maybe you shouldn’t express it. So I think it’s along those lines of maybe it’s a bad thing that I’m feeling hurt by what he just said,
David Ralph [37:34]
because I’m living a single life at the moment, my family have all gone over to France and left that behind. And I’ve got so much time because I think most of the time I spend my life going What’s the matter with you and asking those questions. And I haven’t done it at all this week, and I’ve got hours I must waste hours asking, yo, yo, what’s the matter what’s my cannot do anything for you. single life So the doesn’t the Zack get involved in your business? Are you business partners in this whole world?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [38:07]
Yeah, yeah, he’s actually gotten involved. He’s more than financial manager side, which is nice because he’s an engineer. He’s very good with numbers and spreadsheets and all the stuff that I really don’t want have to worry. So he’s actually gotten involved in it was it was I will tell you it was uncomfortable. The first time he started looking at all the bank statements and really putting all these systems into place. I was getting a little defensive. when he’d asked me like, why did you spend this and why did you spend this and he was just asking from a very like business perspective of Okay, I want to know why you need to buy this programme. And it was it was a little challenging at the beginning, but he kept on saying like, Hey, you know, why are you getting defensive? And I’m like, kind of, Oh, sorry. I just you know, it’s just kind of vulnerable. You looking at all these numbers and seeing this stuff, but yeah, it’s been really It’s been really, really great. Um,
David Ralph [39:02]
when he was pointing at these things, do you look back on it now and go? Yeah, why did I bother?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [39:07]
Well, well, yeah, they’re just some things like
David Ralph [39:12]
you could you couldn’t force yourself, you held
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [39:14]
back. Well, there are things that he makes me think about, like you’re paying for this programme and this programme, and they both can do the same thing. Why don’t you just pay for one? And I’m like, Oh, that’s true. No, but it’s like, well, it’s $10 and he’s like, well, still, you’re wasting $10 on a programme that you’re already paying for another thing and, um, I guess you’re right. So yeah, it’s been really good.
David Ralph [39:41]
So So where are you gonna take it? Because obviously, you got the online platform, you sound like you’re loving life. You look like that everything’s really come together. And I’m sort of delighted for you. But of course we businesses, they they keep on growing and it’s up to you to keep on pushing them. So what you aiming for
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [40:00]
Yeah, I want to get to a point where I have Wildly Alive coaches. So right now it’s me as the coach and lots of clients. And so and I already have a list of graduates from the programme, who I’d love to start coming on and being wildly a life coaches. So I train them in my coaching philosophy. And then it’s more graduates coaching newbies coming in. And that just gives me a lot more room for leverage. And it also what I also love about it is it also gives graduates an opportunity to fulfil a passion if they really passionate about this, because a lot of women get into this and it’s so new and it’s so radical. And they feel so amazing that it’s almost impossible for them not to talk about it. So they get a feed this passion, you know, kind of living out a dream in a sense, and they also get to bring in another source of income into their home as a kind of side job. So that’s it. That’s the bigger vision with Wildly Alive Weight loss is that I want to revolutionise the weight loss industry completely to where it’s no longer like, Oh, I’m looking in the mirror and I’m unhappy. Instead of it being like, I need to diet more. It’s, I need to have more fun. My body is telling me I need to have more fun and I need to feel alive again. Not I need to diet because that’s what most women when they look in the mirror and they see they’re unhappy with their body, they automatically think, Oh, I gotta restrict, I got to go on a diet. But I want to be in a world where they look in the mirror and they say, Oh, my body is saying is I need to have more fun. I need to get out of my comfort zone. I need to feel alive. I need to laugh until I cry. I need to just get out of my comfort zone. Have fun.
David Ralph [41:43]
I think he’s brilliant. I totally totally buy into what you’re doing and part of me kind of things what they do we need you. That’s the same thing. Why can’t people see that? You know about being happy and getting out there and running around over hills and stuff. You will naturally get things going. But we just don’t do it. We just don’t see it. So thank God, we’ve got people like you around.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [42:07]
Yeah. What’s that old model? I mean, don’t get me wrong. This they call that the masculine way of losing weight, which is very mechanical calories in calories out now that that model has worked. I mean, it does work. It’s been proven time and time again. But it’s very imprisoning. I mean, I used to like count calories. I went to Weight Watchers. And I remember I went to a weight watchers meeting and I met a woman there who had been going, who had been doing Weight Watchers for like 25 years. And I said, Oh my gosh, I do not put a count points until I’m 50 years old. There is no way and that’s when I started thinking there has to be a better way. There has to be a way that I can lose weight and be healthy without constantly having to think about it all the time.
David Ralph [42:55]
Did not somebody say to that woman just open a bag of Doritos and let it go. 25 years just just go and enjoy yourself for the rest of your life.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [43:06]
Yeah, yeah. So I don’t know, but that I never went back again after that.
David Ralph [43:12]
No, I can see that I can see that. Well, I’m going to play the theme of the show now. And this is the speech that Steve Jobs did when he was talking back in 2005, to a group of students just about to leave campus. And I’d be fascinated to see how these words resonate with your own life. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [43:29]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart Even when it lead you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [44:05]
So do you have a big.in your life when you look back?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [44:10]
Um, I think it was, I mean two big dots obviously was that fall to my knees moment when I totally surrendered with my body and trying to be, quote unquote, happy. And another one is when my boyfriend at the time, Zach now my husband was ready to leave me because I was working so much that I was just totally unavailable to him for months. And he was finally like, I cannot be with this person. Like, I know you love your business, but I can’t, if this is what a relationship is going to be like, I can’t be here. And those were two huge moments in my life that totally shifted everything.
David Ralph [44:49]
So your whole life really is about letting go when you let go of something. He kind of throws you forward to a better environment.
Unknown Speaker [45:00]
David Ralph [45:02]
It’s fascinating, though, isn’t it? We’ve all got the ability to let go. But we, we just drag stuff around with us. And we we had those conversations that we’ve had 10 years beforehand, and then we meet that person, then they all come flooding back. And you mean, yeah, I should have said this. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I’m not gonna do all that kind of stuff. Did you think that’s the sort of learning curve of this episode? That when you let go, it allows you breathing space to move forward?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [45:30]
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it’s trusting. I mean, just like Steve Jobs was saying is like, you can’t connect them in the future, but you can see them in the past. It’s so true, because, like you were meant to go through this life obstacle, and when we’re in the muck of it, it’s like, Why me? Why is this happening? And then you get through it on the other side, and you’re like, Oh, I have grown so much and you see the synchronicity and you see the big UT, in every point of your life highs and lows, when you do look back, but it’s sometimes when we are in those lower points, that we’re just kind of lost in it all. And that’s where I try to, you know, tell some of my clients like, you know, let’s find the lesson. What are you learning through this? What’s the positive side of this? So you can move through it faster? And yeah, there’s just so much beautiful synchronicity.
David Ralph [46:24]
So just before we send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic, I suppose the last question is, do you feel like you are exactly where you should be? Are you still working progress?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [46:34]
I think I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, though. My ego wants to go online and compare to other people and say you should be further along by now. I try to really just anchor into the fact that this is my path. And this is where I’m meant to be right now. And the more I try to manipulate to go into a different direction and go faster, harder, stronger, I’m going to be exhausted and unhappy. So I need to just surrender.
David Ralph [47:01]
Let it go. Yes, I’ve been a song coming on. Did you see that? Do you sing that all the time? What? What song? The song from Frozen?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [47:14]
I just watched that movie recently. Um, I don’t if I had kids, I’m sure that song would be totally engraved in my mind because I’m on you know.
Unknown Speaker [47:24]
Let it go. Let it go. Come on. Come on. coming to me now. Yeah,
David Ralph [47:30]
except he said, Great. Yeah. And and this is a great theme tune. And this is the end of the show now. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic. And what we’re going to do, we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time, what age Nicole would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme. And when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [48:00]
We go with the best bit of the show.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [48:16]
Hello, Nicole at 20 years old, how are you doing my dear. I just want to give you a big loving hug as you’re sitting there stuffing your face with ice cream. Because I know all you’re looking for in that food is happiness, and a path and joy. But I just want to tell you that all of the answers that you’re looking for right now are within. You have this beautiful thing called your body and she has wisdom. She’s not just this thing that is to hate on and to manipulate and to be angry with. There’s wisdom and there’s beauty. And there’s guidance with you in this moment right now. So shut off all the noise. Stop reading the magazines, close the laptop. Take a deep breath and settle in to yourself and tune into the subtle signs of your body because she has the answer to everything you’re grappling with right now. She’s your best friend, and she’s here with you for life. So might as well be friend her and lock arms with her because it’s a much more enjoyable ride when you’re working together.
David Ralph [49:32]
How can our audience connect with you, Nicole?
Nichole Kellerman Wurth [49:36]
Yeah, they can go to my website Wildly Alive Weight loss.com I put up video blogs every week, which are really fun, have lots of Wildly Alive tools in them and then I’m also on Facebook probably too much as well and it is up search Nichole Kellerman Wurth. You will find me there
David Ralph [49:56]
will have over links on the show notes. Nicole, thank you so much for spending time with us. Today, joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Nicole Kellerman worth. Thank you so much.
Nichole Kellerman Wurth[50:13]
David Ralph [50:17]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcast is mastery.com now
David doesn’t want you to become a fated version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.