Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Joshua Cartwright
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Introducing Joshua Cartwright
Today guest on Join Up Dots is an author who has written several books looking at the way that we operate in the realms of personal development.
Winning many raving fans, who lap up his easy conversational style, he breaks down the kind of issues that hold us back, such as self esteem, mindset, and other such stuff.
But the interesting thing to me, is it doesn’t look like he was someone who knew at the beginning of his career that he was going to be an author of note.
Take him back in time and it looks as if his early working life, was one of trying to find his thing.
As he quite literally whizzed through job after job, with many only lasting for a few months at a time.
Yep he worked for banks, customer service departments, and even a taxi cab company as he worked at finding the first big dot.
How The Dots Joined Up For Joshua
He worked at finding the dot that started leading to where he is today.
And that seemed to begin with three letters NLP
He became a student of the mind and for the next 15 years found his audience, his value, and his wealth, as he in his own words “I used over 15 years experience in using personal change psychology to help people make radical changes in their perceptions, thinking styles, emotions and beliefs. My goals are to help clients have personal breakthroughs in their everyday effectiveness, and especially to help people who have a ‘vision’ for making themselves and the community-world around them a better place.”
So is he in a much better place now, due to those many jobs he had in the beginning or because of what he has done since?
And where can he see his life going, bigger and bigger dreams, or cementing the position that he has found?
Well lets find out, as we start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Joshua Cartwright.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Joshua Cartwright such as:
How he has spent the last majority of his life looking for a reason to why he is here on this planet, digging through the dirt for the gold everyday.
How if you push through your quittable moments in life, then you will find your salary ends up much higher than you could possibly imagine.
Why it would be a great idea in life to try to look forward to the tough times, as these are the ones where we can gain the greatest strength to take forward.
Why there is no better time to go for the dreams you have in life, and in fact you should go for the big dreams and start dreaming today.
When you pray, believe totally that you already have something in your life, and then go out and make that thing come true.
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How To Connect With Joshua Cartwright
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Full Transcription Of Joshua Cartwright Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com. The premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now at podcasters mastery.com.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:37]
Yes, hello there everybody and welcome to another edition of Join Up Dots easy. This is becoming a proper show 355 episodes back to back What more could you want? Well, what more you could want is an English guy. We got two English guys, one on one side of the mind and one on the other. So if there’s some kind of self depreciating humour that you don’t understand, but can Over to the UK and spend a few weeks and then you’ll understand how to do it. And you also understand how to drink quite heavily at lunchtime as well which is one of the bad things we do. Now. Our guest on Join Up Dots today is an author who has written several books looking at the way that we operate in the realms of personal development, winning many raving fans. laptop is easy conversational style. He breaks down the kind of issues that hold us back such as self esteem mindset and other such stuff. But the interesting thing to me is it doesn’t look like he was someone who knew at the beginning of his career, but he was going to be an offer of note, take him back in time and it looks as if he’s already working life was one of trying to find his being as he quite literally whizzed through job after job with many only lasting a few months at a time. Yep, he worked for banks, customer service departments, and even a taxicab company as he worked at finding the first big.he worked at finding the dots but started leading to where he is today. And that seemed to begin with three letters and l p, he became a student of the mind and for the next 50 years panties audience he’s value and he’s well as in his own words are used over 15 years experience in using personal change psychology to help people make radical changes in their perceptions, thinking styles, emotions, and beliefs. My goals are to help clients have personal breakthroughs in their everyday effectiveness, and especially to help people who have a vision but making themselves and the community world around them a better place. So is he in a much better place now due to those many jobs he had in the beginning? Or because what he has done since? And where can he see his life going bigger and bigger dreams or cementing the position that he’s found? Well, let’s find out as we start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Joshua Cartwright. How are you Joshua?
Joshua Cartwright [2:43]
I’m fine. David, I’m actually out of breath just listening to that intro. Thank you very much for that.
David Ralph [2:49]
It’s a bit of a journey for you and as I said to begin and there’s one question that I need to ask actually, and I’m gonna bring this up just before I forget it. I’m we record on Skype, and if any Nobody knows anything about sky. But people will always put a little kind of mood demonstration as some like liberal belief. And I was reading yours this morning, and it was the most bizarre one I’ve ever read. And it said mood, grumpy, but without the nose. What does that mean?
Joshua Cartwright [3:18]
Oh, gosh, um, I actually don’t remember. I don’t remember. But you know, we are English. And I think sometimes some of our international listeners are going to have to accept that. I always say everyone else in the world is mad, but the English are eccentric. Yes. So I was obviously in an eccentric mood, and probably putting up some bizarre reference to some film or book that nobody has ever heard of. So I’m just gonna have to ask the listeners to forgive me for that one. I can’t explain.
David Ralph [3:49]
You’re an author, you can made something we would have believed you.
Joshua Cartwright [3:54]
That’s very true. That’s very true.
David Ralph [3:56]
So if we go back in time, because there Don’t be so Much in your life. Normally I do a little bit of a preamble, but I want to get straight into it with you, you did do a hell of a lot of jobs. I was going through your LinkedIn profile, because I like to do a bit of stalking before I get you on the show. And more often than not, people will have maybe two or three jobs of maybe two or three years. But you were literally being proven in mumps, you would go into a job few months of in another few months, another few months. What was it about those jobs that didn’t quite fit for you? Was it that they just turned up and you did burn? Or was it part of a career path that changed? What was it all about?
Joshua Cartwright [4:35]
Well, I, I suppose I’d love to say that I actually made deliberate choices way through my life. But actually, I didn’t I mean, as I’ll get to later, I guess when I’m talking to my younger self, I was searching for something. I think that everybody is looking for a reason to live that their meaning in life, whether they find it in their career. family, their religion, you know all of these things together. And at that time, I knew I was searching for something to fulfil me, but I didn’t know what it was. And this is part of the special might say the overall arc of my life in that it’s been a search for something that I could commit myself to say, yes, this is meaningful. I mean, a lot of those jobs were temping jobs for a number of years. I just worked for job agencies. So that’s why the contracts were so short. But with very few of them, did I actually put my hand up and say, Yes, I want to stay. I mean, something I knew early on in life because I’d had a very, very difficult upbringing. There was a lot of physical and emotional violence in my childhood. And I guess one of the things I was searching for, is is a reason or reason for my existence and over the years, What I, when I got into the things like personal development psychology, I actually was using my own solving my own problems as part of a way to discover what my life was about, I guess. I figured that if I, if I removed all of my sort of mental and emotional obstacles, what I wanted to do would suddenly reveal itself kind of like digging through the rubble to find, you know, the Ark of the Covenant. Yeah, at the bottom. So these jobs are really just part of this overall arc where of course, I had to live and make money everybody does. But also, I was searching for something that I could hold on to and say, yes, this will give me a sense of purpose in life. I always enjoyed working with people though. So that’s why I often gravitated towards customer services. And for anyone who’s done customer services for you get a real, real taste of different kinds of people. When you do those jobs.
David Ralph [6:59]
I’ve done those things. In my past, I used to work up in the City of London. So I’ve been on the sales teams, I’ve been sales manager, I’ve been customer service manager up in customer service. And I always say to people that although the corporate gig may not be good for you in the long term, it certainly gives you a grounding of how to operate. I think it gives you a grounding over how to operate on the phone, how to get there on time, and all those kind of things. And I have probably learned more about doing this job now, based on my sales experience, where I used to cold call and pick up people and basically what we’re doing now is cold calling before two seconds before we press Connect, we’ve never spoken at all. So you literally have to make that connection very, very quickly. And I can see a great synergy with my sales experience when I was just banging through the calls constantly trying to find that connection with people to sell a product at the end. So I think it’s a it’s a great grounding for for most things in life because you are dealing with people as you say.
Joshua Cartwright [7:58]
I think it’s fantastic. Can funnily enough in the same way I used to. I used to work for Alan sugar’s old company vegan, which sold educational computers. Basically, they were always a big long step behind Dell and didn’t want to admit it. But I wanted the jobs which I also feel really contributed to my prowess, you might say on the phone is that I was on a cold calling team. And I read a book by a guy called Stephen schiffman. It’s got this sort of cranky old American guy on the front, you know, tele sales techniques that really work. So I opened this sort of yellow book with it sort of substandard printed pages, and he actually gave a way to approach cold calling, which I used. And because of that, I literally I rose to the top of the team, and whilst I didn’t get the most appointments, I got the most appointments that the people on the other end call back for. Yeah. So that there was a guy who literally used to sort of jump into his armoured verbal tank. I’ve over the people in order to get an appointment, but I actually, you know, learn how to respect people’s time. And when I came later to work for them, I’m going to admit it. Okay? Take a break magazine, which was the biggest selling women’s weekly magazine in Britain. Just that ability to be able to, you know, call people up and interview them. And again, that was one of the dots the earlier training in the sales team. So I guess, I guess we’re both recommending that really,
David Ralph [9:28]
I think I think we are. What I wouldn’t recommend is that when I did it, there was so no models attached to the sale really, you could say anything you wanted, as long as there was a sale, I’m talking sort of the end of the 80s kind of thing into the early 90s. So we were at the cutting edge of literally you could lie to people, you could say anything you want, which isn’t a good way of operating, but it was the way it was, but it does teach you sort of bump, vocal gymnastics really any ability to think very quickly and I think but Literally, everyone’s life, no matter how that you don’t think that that.is applicable to where you want to go. It is something that you should use as a stepping stone, isn’t it? I think now in every part of your life, there’s something that you can take to the next dot, and then the next door, and it’s when you look back when they all join up.
Joshua Cartwright [10:21]
I couldn’t agree more. And I mean, I suppose at the moment, the the job market requires more creativity, because probably like at the end of the 80s, when I went into work as well, I actually remember and some of our younger listeners won’t believe this, but an employer asked my friend how much he wanted to be paid because jobs were literally so sort of flung wide across the young, you could cherry pick what you wanted, at least as introductory positions. But I got to try a number of different roles, which isn’t always available to youngsters today, which is why I think things like you know, volunteering. I mean, you have to now be creative with really creative to get into a job because there are there are hundreds of CVS going for the same position. And one of the jobs I got, which was a take a break magazine, I actually got because I was trying to get work with the posh magazines like cosmopolitan and Vogue and, and they’d write back to me and say, Yeah, come back in a year of the, all the other people in front of you have applied. So in an active sort of creative frustration, I wrote to the editor of take a break magazine, I said, Look, I want to come into work and I don’t wanna make tea I can write. So if you don’t want me to write, don’t answer. And, and the editor phoned me back the next day, was he wasn’t it.
It was, it was he said, nobody’s ever spoken to me like this before you better come in. So I came in and I steamed through two weeks of work experience was interviewing old ladies about you know how they’ve met their long lost sister after 300 years of part and and interviewing drug dealers and all this kind of stuff. And at the end of the two So I just went up to the editor and I said, Look, if there are any jobs coming up, can I have them. And just a few weeks later, somebody left and I got my first job. And this was leapfrogging five years of required newspaper experience. But the point I’m making about, about this is that nowadays, you need to get noticed. I mean, whether you’re marketing across the internet, whether you’re walking into a job, you need to, you need to be able to get yourself noticed and understand what people will value. I think now creativity, which is part of what I came was talking about, is actually more important than ever, you know, the old forms of please sir, can I have a job I work very hard. That might be okay for the low level jobs like, sorry, when I say lower level, let me rephrase that. A job just require your entry level. You know, you need to go into work. If it’s data entry, you just need to go in and do the work. for jobs where the people you work for, you know, there’s pressure on them, to make sales that pressure them to save money. If you’ve got an idea that can sort of creatively do these things, then then I think that you can add value to your organisation and you will be rewarded accordingly.
David Ralph [13:19]
I was talking to somebody last night and he said something which was fascinating, and I could, it was almost like I knew what he was saying. I’d always believed it, but nobody had said it before. And he said that he believes that your salary level is absolutely linked to your quotable moment. So if you can push through further than anyone else, when your salary will go up higher because of it because you’re providing more value, and the people that quit early because it’s too difficult, and they go and get another job and another job, their salary is never going to get to that that that same position. Can you can you see what you’re saying? We bang Can you see but you have pushed through many opportunities. teas and challenges, but other people may not have done.
Joshua Cartwright [14:04]
Yes, and I can actually relate to what your friend is saying because I did actually finally mentioned I did actually realise at some point that if I kept quitting jobs, I would never, I would never climb and something which I want to just feel I know from personal experience. There’s a guy called TK harvick. He wrote a book called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. And he said that you should if you want enlightenment, you should never believe a thought you think. And that where that relates to critical moments is that your critical moment is where you perceive your current limits are. And if you can push through that, in other words, if you refuse to believe that the way you feel at that moment that I’ve got to quit, I can’t do it. I can’t manage it is all there is. Then you will get to the next level. If you push through and I’ve proved this time and time again. In my atella short story about how this was really brought home
David Ralph [15:03]
to me, you can tell a long story. Tell me, sir.
Joshua Cartwright [15:08]
Well, I got married a few years ago in South America, my wife is from South America. And for our honeymoon, we we flew out to a small island in the middle of the essequibo River called back in Northern Ireland. And, you know, it’s mostly jungle. There’s no sort of colonial house there. I could have, you know, sat on the porch smoking my cigar in my hammock and looking out over my plantations kind of thing. And one of the activities I had offered it was a fairly small venture because Diana, the country that my wife comes from is economically poor, material rich, but economically poor. Anyway, they offered some some kayaking. So this old indian guy comes up to me and he says, Do you want to share a kayak? And I was like, No, no, I can paddle myself. Thank you very much. So he’s like, Okay.
We got into the boats and paddled away from the island. Well when
David Ralph [16:00]
he said we bad sort of attitude didn’t did not part of you go hang on, hang on, he must know something that I don’t
Joshua Cartwright [16:07]
know, it didn’t maybe I don’t understand English or Indian Irish.
So I go into this boat and I thought, are they gonna just do the tourist thing? You know, they’re gonna paddle me around show me a, you know, a few interesting trees and I heard there was some perona sort of further down the river. So he started paddling me around the island, and I thought, oh, okay, this is fine. And then sort of 1015 minutes later, I kind of noticed that the, the, the curvature of the island sort of stretched out into the distance and I looked nervously behind me and I thought, this is not going to be 10 or 15 minutes this this guy is is actually I don’t know where he’s leading me. Now, this was the middle of the day too stupid. The sun the guy needs some tropical Sun was beating down overhead. I was paddling my own kayak up river. And this guy was like merely sort of he’d been doing it for 1000 years and he’s merely sort of paddling away overhead looking back at discussed at the week foreigner who was struggling to keep up and my muscles started burning, you know whether lactic acid builds up and and there was jungle on either side as well and I at this point I haven’t visited the country as often as I have now so as far as I knew, you know some giant man eating plant might seize me the minute I got out. So there I was paddling upstream and the pain, David the pain of having to keep going. I never knew in my life that I was capable of pushing through such pain because there was nowhere to get off. I was too scared and I think too proud to ask to go back. And we paddled. And I think in the end I ended up paddling five miles most of it upstream and actually you know that saying I was cursing the day I was born actually know what that means. Yeah, like, the day I was poor because push myself so far beyond any limit I perceived I had. Now the reason that’s useful is now I have that as a reference point. Whenever I think I can’t do it, I think we’ll Crikey you did that. And that’s something that I think the listeners can probably relate to if you’ve had like a relationship breakup or broken bone in a very painful part of your body or survived an illness or something like that. The fact you survived is an experience that you can, you can use. I’m very much for mining the past for useful stuff. Not, you know, all men are pigs, and I never want to have a relationship again. No, that’s not useful. But I survived. And here’s how I did it. Now how can I use this for my next step? I just think it’s really important. So you know, when I get down, I remember back in Nora, and you know, I spit in the face of pain. I believe
David Ralph [18:52]
as a brilliant story, and I hear music. I don’t know why I find your pain amusing Joshua. There’s some Something so do so have you created your sort of office into the shape of a canoe or something so that when you’re sitting there typing away, you look around and think, Oh, I could just do another few few more words.
Joshua Cartwright [19:12]
Well, I’ve got a sun lamp, I just sit there and put my face painfully close to it for a few minutes to bring back all the sensations, you know, drink, drink a bit of salt water, you know, stab myself a few times to the mosquito bites, that kind of thing.
David Ralph [19:25]
So I said, when you look back on that now, is it really about the real hard times in life? Are they the ones that we should look forward to? Even though at the time they’re dreadful? Are they the real learning experience? So we can sort of push move on?
Joshua Cartwright [19:40]
I actually think there’s two parts to that, I think, yes. To the fact that they’re, they’re learning experiences. I mean, why waste it? My goodness, I mean, about 10 years ago, I went to a really painful divorce. And you know what? No, I wouldn’t ever look forward to something like that again. But you’ve got two choices. You leave it in the past or you actually find them something useful for you like like Anthony Robbins said, you know, you need to, you know, you need to ask why was this good? And initially Your mind will go well, it wasn’t good get lost, which is another thing about don’t believe what you think your mind will come back to you with this programme reactions. It wasn’t good. It was painful, yes, but what can I learn from it? Now in terms of looking forward, there was this guy’s Scott somebody his name escapes me Scott Allen, I think he wrote a book called the adversity quotient. And he talked about how to get the most out of and get through hard times. And I think the only way people can look forward to hard times and I put that in quotes is if they realise that it’s a time for them to get stronger. I read somewhere for example, and it’s a bit of an odd example but most sort of religious political and and group movements get stronger when they’re persecuted. Yeah. Because, you know, they dig in and find reasons to go on, and reasons why they’re right. And in the same way, it takes a shift in mindset to actually appreciate what a hard time is. Like, right now I’m in the middle of an entrepreneurial project. And I, you know, I managed a library down in London. And when I’m not doing that I’m a husband, I’m a father. I’ve got three children at home for our commute. And I’m coming home and I’m, I’m studying product design, barcode technology. I mean, whoever thought you’d have to study about the kind of barcodes you’re going to need
David Ralph [21:37]
a whole programme on it. So
Joshua Cartwright [21:39]
yeah, you know, I’m dealing with people in factories in China, designers in America, printers in the Netherlands, logo designers in Pakistan. And sometimes I just want to come home and sort of crawl under the table and lick my wounds. But I’ve learned from hard times in the past as long as you don’t physically burn yourself out. I actually enjoy these times now, I enjoy pushing myself, the most people don’t. You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone. And you’ve got to. In fact, I’ve got a quote on my wall, which I put up a few days ago. And it said, Unless you enjoy the processes that help you become great, you will never become great because most people love physical pleasure too much. So unless you enjoy the press ups unless you enjoy the, the thinking sessions, remember Henry Ford said, there are no links to which men will go to avoid thinking yeah, but unless you enjoy the pain, as part of the process to get to where you want to, you will never rise up. That’s the way I see
Unknown Speaker [22:41]
David Ralph [22:42]
The thing that really jumped out to me because I know I battle with this as well is the fact that you say you’ve got to be aware that you don’t push yourself into exhaustion, and certainly running Big Show iPads. I’ve had more than one time when I’ve been close to exhaustion and I knew that I was I was feeling that way and Looking back on it now, I should have contacted people to say that I need to reschedule your shows, I’ve gone too far. And I’m not well and blah, blah, blah, but I didn’t and I’ve just kind of pushed through it the Superman syndrome, I’m gonna make it happen. How do you do that with so much on your plate, but you’ve got responsibilities at home? And and one of my mates Actually, this is you, Dwayne, if you’re listening to right. He contacted me the other day by Facebook and he said, Don’t you hate single people preaching about work life balance. And he’d watched some webinar where this guy who lives on his own in his flat was telling the world how to balance their life when Dwayne goes home, and he’s got his kids and his wife and he’s got his job and he’s got his online business and he’s got all those kinds of stuff. So, for a family, man, it’s quite difficult not to have that Superman syndrome, is it? Are we naturally drawn to trying to provide support for everyone and letting ourselves down?
Joshua Cartwright [23:58]
Yes, I Most people I know most family men, I know, do do that. Because when you have a family, you have that desires for them to have the best. And I’d be lying if I said that. There have been a number of occasions when I haven’t used Superman syndrome, and I’ve even ended up having to be off work the next week. So I’m sort of woken up, exhausted after seven or eight hours sleep. But as I put for the title of my podcast, you know, feeling overwhelmed let your brain do the work. One of the ways I deal with it, is what I wrote about in my book, The Millionaire silence. And to answer your question directly. If you can set aside even 10 minutes a day to completely shut off your thoughts, then even scientifically and medically because I’ve investigated this, the effect of that is, it’s like it’s like a sort of a mental emotional detox. Now, I’m not talking About just relaxation exercises, the kind of deep breathing and stuff I mean, that gets you on the way. I’m not talking about mindfulness where you watch your thoughts again, very useful, but not what I’m talking about. I’m actually talking about a state of complete mental emotional silence where you’re alive but inert, and in some incredible way. It seems to accelerate the dispersion of stress. And it just refreshes you. When you’re a kid. Did you ever read the British comic 2000 ad?
David Ralph [25:40]
I baby remember that that bet that Nichols in my brain somehow?
Joshua Cartwright [25:44]
Yeah, just just for the readers listening around the world if you’ve ever seen sort of the any of the Judge Dredd movies Judge Dredd was the principal character from 2090 it was a sort of a British futuristic cyberpunk dystopian society where, you know Judge Dredd would Go around shouting I under law 15 years for dropping little. Sounds nice watching he does doesn’t it? Well, the judges had this thing called a sleep tank and they pop in there for 15 minutes. And when they popped out if there was a riot going on, it would be the equivalent of a full night’s sleep. Well silencing your mind for 15 minutes, whilst not the equivalent of a full night, it completely refreshes your tank. In some incredible reason the downtime just allows your mind to do the most incredible speed housekeeping. And when you open your eyes off after 15 minutes, you wake up and you’re completely refreshed. So that’s part that’s one of my hacks one of my life hacks for dealing with all the different pressures.
David Ralph [26:52]
I actually buy into that Josh because I say to my wife, if I’m feeling tired, I go I’m just gonna go and have 10 minutes I can sit in a chair or lay on my bed. And I don’t know how my body does this, but I look at the clock, and I close my eyes and I try to get to sleep. And literally on the 10 minute I open my eyes, and I feel good. I feel ready to go. And she always says to me, I’d be there for hours. I can’t get up after 10 minutes, but literally my body’s end. It’s almost to the second bang. Yeah, I’m back up and going. So I buy into that totally, I think that is a great way of doing it is that the problem is if you go too heavily, and then you’re gone off into the land of nod and you’re there for three or four hours. That’s a bad thing. What I’m going to do now I’m just going to take us into the next stage of the show because I there’s a famous speech where it’s becoming famous it was said a couple of years ago by a gentleman from Hollywood and I’d be fascinated to see how what you gain from these words. This is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [27:50]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Do you
David Ralph [28:17]
think that is the message of the day? Do you think that is what we should get out to the generations coming behind us that you don’t actually have to go into jobs just because their jobs?
Joshua Cartwright [28:27]
I think that that message is essential these days. I mean, you and I, I imagine we grew up probably at the end of the jobs for life. Yeah, iteration. My father was on British Rail for 27 years. You know, various other people I know have, you know, worked in jobs for a long time and that culture doesn’t exist anymore. I mean, like it or not, people have to invent themselves as they go. Now, of course, you know, what Jim Carrey is saying is true to an extent. I mean, you have to put food on the table. And often you’re going to have to do a lot of crappy jobs in order to, you know, be working on what you love in the background. But I mean, with no disrespect to anyone who believes in reincarnation, I don’t I believe you’ve only got one life and you need you need to go for it. Where I think this generation needs to take a pause. You know, we live in the me generation, we live in the pay your money, get it from Amazon, the next day generation. Now, it took me 20 years to really figure out the things I wanted to do. And I’m not saying it will take anyone else that long. my stepson knows he wants to be an engineer and he’s 17 god bless him. I wish I knew at 17 but yes, I believe that you should aim for what you love. And I believe there’s more chance now to do it. I mean, look at the Internet. You’ve got man I know a lot of them are fight but you’ve got you know, 33 year old mom of two makes 300,000 dollars in five days. For some people, that’s actually true. But the point is the options are available to us now the training that the knowledge, the knowledge of millionaires, the knowledge of entrepreneurs, that’s available through the internet for anyone with ambition and access to reasonable internet connection. I don’t think there’s any excuse now to not go for what you love.
David Ralph [30:26]
I agree totally. And with them, you let us a perfect segue into your last few books because your first ones focus very much into sort of personal self development it seemed. But the last one is the millionaire silence and the millionaire knowing how to use the amazing power of the knowing to turbocharge your manifest dating abilities of trying to see that the brain went finally there. How do you research that kind of information because before you came on, I was thinking about a product that we’re releasing very shortly and so many People say to us, right you got to test it you got to bench test it before you actually release it to make sure that people want it with a book. Do you get that chance? Or do you just go this is a good idea. I’m going to write it and hopefully it sells
Joshua Cartwright [31:15]
hard in in some ways, it’s the second option because now with with Amazon self publishing, which is you know, released it on the Kindle platform, you can pretty much write and publish it right and publish anything and then release it, market it and see how it goes. But you know, I, I wants to have more integrity than that. I mean, the millionaire silence is based on the work of my friend and business colleague, Ron G, Holland. Now for those who are old enough, they may remember that he wrote a very famous book in the 80s called talk and Grow Rich. It was basically one of the first friendly NLP books in that there had been other Linguistic Programming books on the market, but they were often transcripts of seminars. And some of them were very, very technical. And it’s nothing wrong with that, you know, if you love your field, you need to read different versions of the same material. But Ron wrote sort of a friendly version of how to use NLP skills in sales, great rapport, and so on. And I got to know Ron, about a year and a half ago, and he taught me about his technique for success, which was called silence stillness and solitude. Yeah. Now Ron, is what you might call a millionaire maker. He’s, he calls himself a guru, but and basically he helps people create businesses and helps people find money in creative ways. He does a lot more but these are, these are some of his core skills. And he actually uses the process I wrote about in the millionaire silence to create ideas and create solutions to problems. And when I got to know Ron, he started teaching me about how to let my brain do the work. He actually taught me a process. And I read his books, and I love them. But I thought, you know what, I think there are some things that I can add in there to make using Ron’s process easier. So I wrote my book. You know, I obviously I got permission from Ron. And, and I put it out there because I knew the techniques work myself, in fact that the business that I’m working on right now comes directly from using the techniques that I write about in the silence. And so yes, I was confident that it would work because rather been using it for years and it made multi people who are multi millionaires using it, and some of the millionaires actually will still step forward to this day and say, I use rods process every single day. So I thought, okay, I’ve got to get this stuff out there. Because I’d always been interested in creativity techniques, but there’s a different There’s what I call forced creativity, which is the Edward de Bono and Roger van oook. They, they write books about how to, to jump outside of the box and how to force yourself to come up with ideas. Whereas Ron taught, in a nutshell, how to passionately visualise something, and then sit back in silence, like the way I talked about earlier with no thoughts at all, and let your brain do the work. Because the amazing thing is, the quieter you are, the faster your brain is working is it’s contrary to what most people think. But when you’re silent, your brain goes to work. So people will sometimes say to me, Well, you’re not a millionaire. How on earth can you write a book about becoming a millionaire? And I’ll say, Well, I interviewed a millionaire. And I’ve seen the results of his work, and I’ve used the process and I’m coming up with ideas that I believe will lead me towards being a millionaire myself. So yes, I do think I could say something.
David Ralph [34:58]
That’s a stupid thing to say. Hayes Knight saying to George Lucas, you’re not Darth Vader, you shouldn’t be writing Star Wars films.
Joshua Cartwright [35:06]
Well, I can understand people’s desire for authenticity. Because, you know, they might say to me, Well, you’re not a millionaire, What gives you the right to talk about it, but I’m never claiming it. I’m claiming that this process is used by millionaires. In the billionaire knowing I run said something which really set me thinking and I’ve been I’ve been a Christian for 18 years. And something Jesus said, and this is quite incredible to think that that Jesus talked about manifesting. It’s really mind blowing when you hear it, but he said, when you pray, believe that you have already taken hold of the thing, and it will be yours. Now, over the years and increasing number of personal development teachers had said, you gotta have the thing before you have it. Yeah, I’m dead American voices in
David Ralph [35:59]
you Man of 1000 boxes on you?
Joshua Cartwright [36:02]
I am but I probably insult some people with somebody accents that I can do. But anyway,
these teachers have been waking up to the fact that these ancient texts have taught that you’ve got to feel that you own something completely in your mind. Before you can have it in reality, you’ve got to have it before you have it. Yeah. And Ron mentioned this, but didn’t kind of really elaborate on it. And this is a secret. Yeah, it is. It is. But I listened to the work of Andy shore, he wrote the bug free mind series. And he taught a missing Gosh, I hate it when people say the missing parts of the secret because there seems to be thousands of missing parts by the number of emails that I get. But he actually taught a key way to get yourself into a state of belief that you that you’ve have anything you want so what the knowing does the millionaire knowing it teaches you how to get into that mindset, construct the the mental and emotional reality that you already have the thing you want. And then just let it go. And what you find is your behaviour starts subtly changing, and you start doing more work towards the thing that you already have. Because
David Ralph [37:26]
I buy into that totally and we had Ron on the show back on episode 238. So if anybody wants to sort of double up on what we’re talking about jump back and he spent a lot of time talking about he’s billion dollar bio computer. And it really sort of struck me but he he literally was saying that your brain is the most powerful computer you’ve got and you’ve got to learn how to programme it. And he goes into companies who can’t solve a problem. And he loads he’s computer, forgets all about it and then comes up with the answer two days later, whatever and he says, you know, once You know how to do it. And it was a fascinating conversation. So it’s Episode 238. But the thing that I think is fascinating is when you say these kind of things, I realised that on my own journey, I’ve always believed that I’ve got a vision of what am i aiming for. And it’s so real in my, in my head, that it’s only when I’ve been having these conversations that I kind of think to myself, Oh, I’m already sort of subconsciously doing what people are telling me I should be doing. I feel like my future is in a room and as a big corridor with loads of doors. And I’ve only just got to keep on going through those doors. And I’m going to get closer and closer until I open it and I get one waiting for and it’s just there. Is that the sort of way that people should operate because a lot of people will look at people like you, people like me, you know, the one Hollins and all the people out there that actually have got off their backside and say to themselves, yeah, but it’s because they’ve got bass or they’ve got VAT or they’ve got connections or whatever is it Simply the step by step process that gets you to that position.
Unknown Speaker [39:04]
It is it’s,
Joshua Cartwright [39:08]
I mean, so the reason I’m pausing is because
in my life, I’ve had a lot of difficulties. You know, I’ve been divorced, I’ve had a child died, and a load of other things. And everybody can set can point at the successful person and say it’s all right for them. Without knowing what goes on behind it. I mean, I could list out a whole litany of all things that have happened. But it really is the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. You know, I know what it’s like to be in despair, about my life. I know what it’s like to wonder if the boredom of a dead end job will ever end and The harsh and wonderful truth is you’ve. I’d like to quote Rex out of the Toy Story, the little plastic. Oh, yeah. So he says to buzz, it just got up. And that’s the long and short of it that there’s sometimes no easy way to pat someone on the shoulder and say it’s going to be right. Winston Churchill said when you go through hell keep going. Because eventually you will come out the other side. But I’ve had about three major careers in my life and I’m 41 years old. And I’m I’m still writing the millionaire silence is selling incredibly well. Thank you God. And this entrepreneurial project that I’m working on, is is potentially going to make an enormous amounts of money. But do I know it’s going to make an amount of money? Yes and no. Yes. In that just as you with your your corridors and your doors, what the knowing is, it’s the sense that it’s going to happen. Nothing can stop it. Does that mean that nothing’s Nothing can stop it? Well, of course things can stop it, you know, you could get hit by a car later today. But human beings respond where best to the feeling that something is definitely going to happen. Yeah. And when you create that, in your mind, you take away the constant having to reread your goals, the constant worry, the constant feeling of lack, you know, the character Dilbert.
David Ralph [41:31]
Oh, yeah, the little cartoon character. Yeah.
Joshua Cartwright [41:34]
Yeah, I’m not sure sort of how popular he’s around the world. He’s a little nerd software engineer who works at a factory sorry, an office full of dysfunctional people. And, gosh, what was it? Yeah, the author of Dilbert, he wrote a book about sort of, you know how to fail basically, or how to fail successfully and he said, All the time you think about wanting your goal, you’re actually telling your mind you haven’t got it. So you’re actually when you want something you’re operating from a state of lack of not having it. The knowing or the states of mind that you have David is a confirmation that you already have it and therefore your mind leaves it alone. It’s like, I’ve already got this, I can’t argue that I’m not going to get it because I’ve already got it. So convincing yourself that you have something you haven’t got. It sounds paradoxical. That is the way forward. But like the guy who bumps into a girl on the on the train, and he knows she’s going to be his wife, and eight months later she is how does that work? What are the variables involved? There’s no way he can know for sure, but he knows and the knowing causes him to pursue her to find out where she lives to bring her flowers and his confidence. I personally believe She’s the right one for him affects her to, or the guy that knows he’s going to ace a job interview. I mean, I’ve been in job interviews I’ve walked in, and I just thought, This is mine. Yeah, I’m just going to motions now. And I got it. Coincidence? I don’t think so. So the last thing I want to say on that is, the knowing is something that people already do. I hate it when people sell something as some sort of, you know, esoteric addition to the human condition. people already know, if you believe you’re poor, then you know, that you’re poor, and you will stay poor. But if you believe that, you know, the world is an abundant place full of resources and opportunities, and you know that you have that state of knowing states of mind, then that’s what you respond to. So that’s what I attempt to teach in the knowing.
David Ralph [43:50]
Well, let’s play some words. I’ve got a lady sitting by the side of me called Oprah Winfrey, and I keep her with me all the time because she’s got some wise words, but play perfectly to Our conversation, this is Oprah.
Oprah Winfrey [44:02]
The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [44:34]
Right, you can go now Oprah See, she stays with me all the time. So what do you what do you think about those words, because I think they’re hugely powerful. And I love the way that the two and Jim Carrey is kind of dovetail perfectly.
Joshua Cartwright [44:48]
I think they’re great words to and I think, I think Jim and Oprah are playing to something that I was planning to tell my younger self that The life is actually full of paradoxes, you have to manage two seemingly opposing bits of information at the same time in order to move forward. Because it’s very important to have a big picture. But you can’t live in the big picture. You’ll have happy feelings, but you won’t make any progress. So then you come back down to what Oprah said is, what is the next right step towards the big picture. But at some point, you have to step back and look at the big picture. So I think what I was saying is very important. I mean, if you don’t know your big picture, then it’s true. You just have to keep heading in the direction you think is right. I think this is where a lot of people get scared and I’ve known that terror I mean, even nowadays, I get really scared sometimes I think, well, I pumped all this money in and yeah, I really believe in the product and I know it’s a fantastic product. But I have my mind that’s what if it doesn’t sell you know, oh my god. I’ve spent thousands of family money and but You just need to keep going. You put your head down, step, the next step forward in the store. And when you have a big picture, step back, look at that. So Oprah’s right, and Jim’s right. Jim is your big dream. Picture. Oprah is the next letter, you write the next phone call you, Mike. Because the next action step you take, open up new options. And that’s what you’ll be able to see where to go
David Ralph [46:26]
next, that those scary moments get all of us don’t know, because I’ve got a couple of guys, I’ve got Danny, and I’ve got Dwayne. And literally when I met was always thinking, Oh, it’s never gonna work. It’s never gonna work. I can email them and they know what they’re gonna do. They’re just gonna come back and say, I’ll man up, get on with it. You’ve got this nailed, you know, and you don’t need much to get you back in the saddle. It’s almost you just need confirmation. But sometimes I sort of I’m working away and it’s all going brilliantly. And there’s no reason for getting these these doubts and these insecurities come to me and like I kind of look at it. Tonight, I’m going out for a few beers with the lads. And they, they love talking about the show. So I like going down and we talk about what’s happening and all that kind of stuff. And more often than not, I come back really infused, just because there’s other people with a personal belief to in what I’m doing, where sometimes you can just build on your own somehow, and allow those doubts and insecurities to creep through. Even though that’s not your natural way of thinking more often than not, I’m as positive as the day is long. But you can’t fight those off. Can you sometimes sometimes it’s like a natural part of as opposed to getting stronger again, having those beers come in and then putting them away.
Joshua Cartwright [47:40]
Yeah, and and what your friends do for you is, you know, they provide a, you know, a loving resource for you, when you just don’t feel like doing it. I mean, I’m all for mental control and emotional stability, but sometimes, you know, I just get on the phone to my friend hope. I hope if you’re listening to this, I know you’re going to be live Because I’m going to tell you about it. We love you. We love you. Yeah, he’s, he’s awesome. And as I said, He’s, he’s Nigerian. And one of the things I love about him is that he will just straight told me and just say, it going to be ridiculous. You can do it. Or he’ll, I’ll tell him that I’m feeling bad about this, and I’m feeling sad about this. And he’ll just laugh at me. He’s the most lovingly insensitive guy on the planet because he knows me. He knows he believes in me. And he knows what I’m talking rubbish and he will just sit there laughing his face off. While I’ve sort of opened what seems at the time, like my deepest heart wound. And, and he’ll just suddenly make me realise that all it is is the way I’m feeling right then and I’m just over invested because I’m tired. I’m over invested because a prototype has come back and part of it isn’t right and, and we need people like that. We need people who who will support us, but they don’t always need to just go they’re there. Sometimes they need to say stop being stupid. You are
David Ralph [49:01]
Well, well Duane just comes back with 99% of time, I’ll suck it up. That’s his. That’s his response. And I don’t get much sort of sympathy from any of my mates really. But I don’t think I need actually I need somebody to just go Oh, what you’re moaning about, get get on with it, you’ve chosen this path. You know, this is what you wanted at the beginning. Keep going for it. And I love that when I look back on it now, somebody said to me the other day, and I think it’s brilliant. So I’ve mentioned it on a few shows recently, because it’s on the forefront of my mind. But if your life is a biography, the hard times are the best bits of the book. And I think to myself, that’s about true, isn’t it?
Joshua Cartwright [49:42]
It is, they might not seem like it at the time and you know, who is really going to enjoy terrible times, but if you fight, your self respect will just go up through the roof. I know more of what I can survive because of back in our island because of You know coming through a divorce and stuff like that. No, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But like your friend say, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make the best of it. There’s there’s no cream there’s no South there’s no Well, there’s very few options for making yourself feel better sometimes you need to grit your teeth and go through that there’s actually a quote, I mean, I, as a Christian I, you know, do rely also on on a higher power and there’s a quote I like, which is don’t tell God The storm is coming. Tell the storm my god is coming. And whilst that may not resonate with everyone, if if the people listening have a higher power or a principle or or something they can draw upon a quote, even that makes them stand up and go, You know what? I laugh in the face of the See, I spit in the face of death, because I’m gonna live my life. Anyway, I think that’s one of the bravest things any man or woman can do to get up and say, I’m going to do it anyway. I don’t care what anyone says, I don’t care if it fails, if it fails, it’s going to be on my terms. And when I’m old, and I look back, I’m going to say, Yeah, I did that and feel proud about it.
David Ralph [51:21]
Let’s bring on our last speech. And this is the one that built the whole theme of the show over 355 episodes ago, hugely powerful, nearly 10 years old now, and just as powerful today as it was when this gentleman first said it Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [51:36]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference
Joshua Cartwright [52:12]
to words just Well, yeah, very true. Very, very true. I think the attitude that needs to go along with what Steve is saying is that it’s what they call self efficacy. Whatever happens, I can make something of this. So I do think Steve is right, but you’ve also got to be determined that when life seems to hand you lemons, you can make lemonade, so So what’s
David Ralph [52:38]
your big dot? Then when you look back on your life? Is there a moment when you kind of go Yeah, was it the first time that you started studying NLP? Was it on that clue? I shouldn’t laugh again. But yeah, on that kind of me is amuses me actually about the picture of the sky looks like you’re sitting on a boat, which I would have thought the last thing you want to do is get back on a boat. So um, when was your your big dot in your life,
Joshua Cartwright [53:02]
my pic dot, funnily enough, I mean, like Steve said it is joining up the dots and I think many dots have contributed to me getting where I want to go. But I think one of the biggest doors was, surprisingly a few years ago when I actually understood that the human body and mind tends towards inertness and homeostasis. And for those who are not familiar with those words, what I’m basically saying is that it takes emotional energy and passion to break out of the sort of current thinking patterns you have. And I think when I went through a divorce A few years ago, I was in a lot of emotional pain, but it’s not something I recommend to anyone you said a celebrity sort of divorcing remarrying every few days. I must be crazy. But I was in a lot of emotional pain. And I had what I call my Popeye moment. Now for those of you who are not familiar with Popeye is a cartoon character that generally gets beaten up through most of the episode was trying to rescue his ungrateful girlfriend. And at some point is as I can, I’ve had all I can stand that can’t stands no more. And he pops a kind of spinach open and it gives him sort of giant muscles and superpowers and he goes around, bashing the heck out of any obstacle that that stands in his way. And for me, that’s, that’s a metaphor for when I decided to make a breakthrough. I looked at all this pain that I was suffering and I thought, okay, maybe there’s something in my character, I need to look at something that is contributing to this unhappiness. So I had my Popeye moment and I stood there and I let the pain wash over me. And I let my mind to reveal to me the things that I thought were causing the problems. And when I discovered what they were, I took a huge dose of passionate emotional energy. And I said, That’s not true. No, I’m not standing for that anymore. And the big dot was understanding that if you want to make a change, you need to have a lot of emotional energy. So for us British guys, that can be quite difficult because if you’ve been brought up traditionally, you know, we reserved Don’t make a fuss in public. And we don’t allow things to perturb us stiff upper lip. But the truth is that if you’ve got a belief that standing in your way, just thinking, I wish that would go away. That’s not going to work. You need to shout and scream at it. You need to have the feeling that this belief is trying to kill your child and take that emotional energy and blast it out the way and even when it comes to programming the mind in the silence, just imagining what you want. ohan is not enough. You need to see it, feel it, breathe it. I mean, I’m on a houseboat in South America right now. This moment, I laid my head
Unknown Speaker [56:03]
in my head.
David Ralph [56:04]
Oh, I was gonna say I thought he was in Luton or somewhere?
Joshua Cartwright [56:08]
No, I mean, this is just an example of how I, how I do this and, you know I walk across the deck, I can hear the sound of my feet, I can put my hand in the water. I know how hot it is, I can hear the insects and my mind at a certain point goes, Okay, I believe that it’s real, because the mind can’t tell the difference between real and imagined. And that amount of enthusiasm and energy. I see my kids go down the slide I see some of the locals driving up in the in Denny’s. That’s incredibly valuable to me. That’s something I really desire and the emotional energy makes your mind set up and take note. So stop wishing, start emoting, I suppose that might be my, my takeaway.
David Ralph [56:56]
Wow, this is the end of the show now and this is the part that we can The sermon on the mic when I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Joshua, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out, because I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fades you up, but this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [57:22]
We go with the best bit of the show.
Joshua Cartwright [57:38]
Well, son, we’re sitting here together in the bar, you know, I know you’re only 13, but I’m allowed to bring you in. So I’m sorry about that.
So there’s a few things I want to tell you a few things that from my perspective at 41 I can tell you that if you take note of these things really really benefit. So are you ready? You got your Coke, okay. That’s good. So the first thing I would say is, learn how to control your thoughts and emotions. Just learn about how emotions work, and learn how to master your thoughts. If you are not the director, the captain of what you think, then you’ll be led around by the nose by how you feel and what other people say. I mean, I would say that I’ll teach you some basic meditation. And although you may think that strange, you know, I’m not going to ask you to chant to a bell or whatever. The reason I’m suggesting you do this is because you have to learn to steal your own mind. And so you read the jungle books, right? Yeah, yeah. Rashad Kipling said, if you can be if you can keep your head when all around you are losing this, then you are a man, my son and son. I gotta tell you, be unable to keep your head still and think properly about situation when people are running around like hey, chickens. That’s a really important one. And if you start that skill from a young age, I would, I can’t tell you how valuable it is. I actually am friends with a guy who’s a multi millionaire. And he says that learning how to steal his mind is is the basis of all his success. So even if you don’t do it, if you’re crazy, bigger you do it because you want to earn lots of money, learn how to steal your mind. The other thing I’d say, and I know at 13 this is going to seem a bit weird and restrictive and stuff, but I would say, subscribe to a good system of ethics have principles when I was growing up in the 80s. Just Just like our host, David. You know, all it really counted were results and ethics went out the window. And nowadays in this global community where you can be on the phone to someone in India, one minute and someone in, you know Canada the next. all you’ve got is your word, your word that you will deliver and That son, you know, you know, I’m a Christian, but I would never try and force you to subscribe to that I’ve taught you what I think is right. But in the end is decision as for everybody is always going to be yours. But even if you read Plato or Aristotle or some other great philosopher, get yourself some principles that enable you to do good in the world and feel good about it. People respond to that. Be a man of your word. I’d say Above all, learn how to challenge your limits. You know that there’s a guy I know who said, No, but I read his book saying, don’t believe a thought you think some, as you go through the teenage years, you’re going to feel all kinds of turmoil. There’s going to be emotional and physical changes. And no, I’m not going to go into the talk. I think you know what I’m talking about. But this is a time of your life when you most won’t want to listen to adults. And let me tell you if you fight against that, and if you seek out wisdom, you don’t have to talk to me, but Read a book, you know, read, Think and Grow Rich read. Again, some great, great philosophers, you can take the advice of other people, and then still make your own decision, you will make wiser decisions. Don’t be stupid. I spent a lot of years learning the hard way. You just don’t want to do that. So so those are the three things I’ve learned to control your mind. Be a good person, but do it deliberately. Look for a system of ethics. And also challenge your limits. When you say to yourself, I can’t do it. Ask yourself, is that a physical limit? As in? I can’t jump off that building. Or is it an emotional and psychological limit as in? I think I can’t. And then try and go beyond it. You’ll be pleasantly surprised. Thanks for listening. So,
David Ralph [1:01:48]
Joshua, how can our audience connect with you sir?
Joshua Cartwright [1:01:53]
Right. Well, in terms of direct connection, I’m not as available at the moment as I used to be but what you can do You would like to see some of the things I’ve written over the years, you can find all of the books on Amazon. In the later books, my email address is in there. So if you read something and you don’t understand it, I’m 100% behind what I write. So just connect with me. You could also go to websites like Steven hsn.co.uk. I’ve written dozens of posts for the blogs there. But I would say most of all, just go on Kindle. Go on Amazon, get a sample of what I write if you like, then review it. And if you want to know more, then give me a shout. I’ll be happy to you know, jump on the phone and explain anything that isn’t clear.
David Ralph [1:02:44]
We’ll have all the links on the show notes. Joshua, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures Joshua. Thank you for so much. Thank you. Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcast is mastery don’t come now.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.