Welcome to the Join Up Dots Business Coaching Podcast with Tay Clemons
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Introducing Tay Clemons
Tay Clemons is born in the city of Fayetteville, North Carolina, our guest today is a singer, songwriter, mother and wife.
And a musician, who is looking to inspire the world with the power of her voice.
And when you hear her voice, you can tell that she is someone who has experienced life.
She has had a fascinating journey of personal struggles and challenges which could have easily derailed her and put her on a totally different path to where she is today.
Though still evolving as an artist, her unique gift of music has opened many doors for her.
How The Dots Have Joined Up For Tay Clemons
All of these roads have led to a place of peace in her life and music, and a clear focus to where her life is going.
And as she says “My mission and ultimate goal is to establish a foundation that will inspire and build young women with low self esteem and past traumatic experiences, to reach for destiny and to fulfil their purpose”.
So was she always a lady who loved nothing more than belting out the big gospel numbers as a kid?
Or has her talent been as much of a surprise to her than anyone else?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Tay Clemons.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Tay Clemons such as:
How she remembers her grandmother telling her that even at the age of two she was someone that would get up and belt a song out around the home.
Why as far as she believes when it comes to artist development, commitment is more often far more important than talent.
Why you should care deeply with who you surround yourself with, and make sure that you are getting the right advice not just the “yes” advice.
How when you are working towards something you should have the fortitude to do the stuff you don’t like, if it moves you closer to the thing you do.
How the dream is always bigger than you, and you need to be aware that most of the time you wont know how to achieve it, you just have to do stuff everyday.
Connect With Tay Clemons
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Audio Transcription Of Tay Clemons Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcasters mastery.com, the premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now. podcasters mastery.com.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:38]
Yes, hello again, Episode 356 of join up dots. This is David Ralph coming from the United Kingdom. And we have got a musical guest on the show. Yes, a musical legend, where she’s not the legend at the moment she will be because I’ve been listening to her all week. And she’s got a wonderful voice and we’re going to play some other music later on the show. Now born in the city of five real North Carolina. Hopefully I pronounced that right. Our guest today is a singer songwriter mother and a wife and a musician who is looking to inspire the world with the power of a voice. And when you hear her voice, you can tell that she is someone who has experienced life. She’s had a fascinating journey of personal struggles and challenges, which could have easily derailed her and put on a totally different path to where she is today. Most still evolving as an artist, her unique gift of music has opened many doors for her she’s worked with a number of industry veterans, such as Troy Patterson, Emmanuel seal, who you would know from Mariah Carey and Asha, and the Clemens brothers Dru Hill, Mary J. Blige Out of Eden, to name a few. Now all of these roads have led her to a place of peace in her life and music, and a clear focus to where her life is going. And as she says, My mission and ultimate goal is to establish a foundation that will inspire and build young women with low self esteem and past traumatic experiences, to reach for destiny to fulfill their purpose. Well, great stuff. So what she always a lady who love nothing more than belting out their big gospel numbers as a kid, or as a talent been as much of a surprise to her but anyone else? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start join up dots with the one and only Tay Clemons. How are you today?
Tay Clemons [2:18]
I’m good, David, how are you?
David Ralph [2:20]
I’m always good. You probably could tell that. I’m always just like, this, but how can you not be when you’re doing something that you’re supposed to be on this earth to do?
Tay Clemons [2:29]
David Ralph [2:31]
And I’m going to cut to the chase thing, because that’s a pretty profound question to start with. Did you feel the same? Are you on earth to do with, you know, what, what you should be here to do?
Tay Clemons [2:42]
I really feel like I am I feel like, I believe not even feel but I believe that you know, the gift that God has placed in me. It’s not just for me, but it’s to share to uplift other people. So I do believe that I am doing what I what it is I’m supposed to do. And it’s still unfolding.
David Ralph [3:00]
Given given a framework of your life, you are obviously a songwriter, Mama y singer, musician. If somebody sort of said to you, what are you number one? What’s your number one? What would you say?
Tay Clemons [3:13]
My number one is to be a mother. Okay? And,
David Ralph [3:16]
and you a matter of how many?
Tay Clemons [3:19]
I’m a mother of three girls?
David Ralph [3:21]
And what what kind of ages?
Tay Clemons [3:24]
So my oldest is 14, I have a 12 year old and I have a five year old.
David Ralph [3:29]
So you’ve banged out the new Destiny’s Child basically?
Tay Clemons [3:33]
Basically, yes, believe it or not? Yeah, we all seen from time to time. So I think it would be you can say that the new destiny South?
David Ralph [3:40]
And would that would that be something with your experience of the music industry so far, would that be something that you would be comfortable with your your tail was going into,
Tay Clemons [3:50]
if it’s something that they want to do, so one of my my middle child, she really loves to sing and my oldest as well. But it’s really a passion of my middle child. And you know, she talks about it often. So if it’s something she wants to pursue, then yes, but I’ll never force them to do anything they don’t want to do when it relates to their life, you know, so
David Ralph [4:09]
but but you are just being a parent like you are you do inspire your children naturally, don’t you I find that on a daily basis, that the kind of entrepreneurial spirit that my guests talk about, really does rub off on their kids, even if they’re not sort of ramming it down their throat, just the fact that they have a mom and dad that can choose their hours and can sort of do things a bit more flexible than other moms and dads are actually leave and go off to the office and come home at a fixed time every day. You are inspiring them naturally on you.
Tay Clemons [4:41]
I am I guess you can say that, especially when you’re doing different things, you know, practicing the different engagements, events, and just what they see on a day to day basis. I guess it has some impact, you know, no other no other choice but to impact them in some way. So yeah, I say naturally, it does impact them. And when you ask me the question, as far as what what is my first obligation or duty? What would I consider to be first I said, my kids, because although I’ve been married for 14 wonderful years, I say my children, because we like to think that marriage, you know, should last, you know, lifetime. But it doesn’t always end up that way. So I’m going to always be a mother, I may not always be a wife, even though I hope I am to my husband, but I really focused on the children because they are here. And that’s something that can’t be undone. You know,
David Ralph [5:27]
we you find it a struggle, because I’m a father of five, and some of my older ones have moved out. Well, three of them have moved out now. So I’m just left with the two younger ones. And I know that my wife will find it quite difficult when they’ve all gone now I’m going to love it. I know because I know that they are come back every now and again. And it’s brilliant. But I’m looking forward to weekends away and going down to the pub just because we can and all that kind of stuff. But I know my wife will struggle with suddenly being an empty nester, did you feel that will be a difficult thing for you when it comes?
Tay Clemons [6:00]
It’s funny me and my husband, we actually talked about that not too long ago, just the empty nest syndrome. And I think I will have trouble with that. Because even now I think about them getting older graduating. So what are we going to do, although I am looking forward to traveling, so I think it’ll be a balance, but I will have that empty nest syndrome.
David Ralph [6:20]
So so let’s sort of delve into to your talent, as I said in the introduction, was your talent as much of a surprise to you, when anyone else? Or did you always know that you were somebody that would grab this or that the hairbrush and build out the songs in the bedroom?
Tay Clemons [6:36]
Well, I guess I always knew, you know, my grandmother told me the age of two, I stood up in her bed, and I just started singing. And so I I’ve been singing since I could remember, you know, seeing told back then. But also, around the age of eight, I sang in a few fashion shows adult fashion show, so I was the talent they selected then so I think I always knew it was a part of me. I just never thought it would be a journey that I’d actually have to take alone because I always wanted to sing with other people. So yeah, I always knew it was going to be a part of me, just solely because it’s something I love to do.
David Ralph [7:12]
And why have you ended up on your own when you naturally thought that he was going to be in a group or something, did you?
Tay Clemons [7:19]
I did, I did. I actually signed with them. An r&b group will we formed it ended up forming to be an r&b group in high school. And it consisted of four young ladies and then eventually it would be three. And we traveled all around, we traveled to Germany, different places locally different states and that sort of thing. And it just didn’t end up being the group that we thought it would be. And I’d have to say, you know, when we were in Germany, of course, it wasn’t a lot for us to do. So we literally watched different shows like multiple times a day, like some pretty much the same show when during that time, I just felt myself being pulled away, I started reading my Bible, although it wasn’t really going to church, you know, and things like that. I just felt there was something different. Something else that I was searching for, should I say. And long story short, you know, the girls really didn’t want to set time travel the same road that I was interested in traveling. And so we kind of dismembered so to speak. But as the years went on, we eventually ended up meeting back up, and we’re kind of on the same path. Now, that makes sense. But it ended up being a journey that I’m taking alone.
David Ralph [8:34]
He’s a fascinating time in our lives, isn’t it when you start working towards something that you think at that time is going to be your thing, it’s got to be my thing, you know, this is what I’m doing. I’m in Germany, I’m with the girls, but then life sort of just changes slightly, and you look back on it now and go, I wish I was still on that path, or do you actually go now about that was actually a good time, the Patna we kind of broke up somehow, and we’ve gone on and done a different thing, you know,
Tay Clemons [9:01]
I don’t wish I don’t look back on it and wish that it was still that same course, because I really believe that all things you know, work together. And I don’t regret and I’m actually grateful for the interaction that I have with the girls. It was a pivotal point. And it was something that impacted me. So just looking back on it, I appreciate that point in my life to where I am now. You know. So that’s just another piece to add in this journey to reflect on. And to appreciate where I am now. When you’re in a group, I’m
David Ralph [9:31]
always fascinated. I used to be in a group years ago, and I found but the rehearsals used to be three quarters of standing around arguing what we were going to rehearse and Ben about 15% of actually doing stuff. And everyone seemed to come with their their passions. So in my day, it was the 80s music in the United Kingdom. So one group would come along go. Let’s do this, because this is the new YouTube album. That’s how I want is the sound. And somebody else would say, well, let’s sound like Duran Duran and let’s sound like this. How did you start to build that connection that the four of you were working together? You know,
Tay Clemons [10:12]
it’s funny, because we never really had those issues as far as wanting to sound like this group or, or that. We, when we came together, I think all three of us just had a passions. And I say three, because the fourth member wasn’t in the group very long. But all three of us had a passion to just sing. And so naturally, we would just sing cover songs. And so that would be part of our rehearsal, music, and then we would all right. And so everybody would write their their piece. And so whatever was within you, you just added that. So I think it kind of bonded, it jailed naturally, for us. So we didn’t have those issues. Now, as far as getting together to rehearse those were that was a bit challenging, because everyone had different things going on. I mean, we’re all in high school. So just the commitment piece could sometimes be a challenge. But yeah, it was it. I think it was just natural for us. We just love to do it. We were young and singing was just a thing to do. And when when
David Ralph [11:12]
you look back on it, and the fact that you are in the hub of the music industry now, is it more commitment? Or is it more talent? What what gets people to the top? Because quite frankly, you see some people get right to the top. And from my aging body? I think they’re rubbish. Why why what why is anyone listening to them? And then you go into a bar sometimes and you hear somebody who’s just doing an open mic session. And you’ve been amazing. Why are they not playing Madison Square Garden? So what is it commitment, talent, luck? How do people get to the top?
Tay Clemons [11:48]
Well, I definitely think it’s definitely commitment. It’s not just talent, talent is something good to have. But it’s more of commitment, your hunger for your desire to pursue it, because it’s a very competitive industry. Now. I mean, there’s so many people with all the different social media outlets, anyone can pretty much become an instant star. And it’s all about what people are looking for. So I think just the commitment being relevant in terms of just being out in the forefront on social media, But to answer your question, the commitment piece, it’s, it’s more than just talent, and having the right team to I mean, I think you do have to have the right team and have someone that’s in your corner that’s just as hungry or can also see things that you may not see and be able to push you a little bit further for those who are talented. But let that I guess I don’t wanna say commitment piece, because that’s something you just have to have. But having the right team around you is important as well.
David Ralph [12:45]
I was listening to an interview with Ed Sheeran the other day. And there’s a classic picture of him that we’ve been five years he’d gone from standing on a corner in a high street in England busking to playing Wembley Stadium for free. And he’s journey has been meteoric in a very short period of time. And he actually states about the moment it started taking off for him was when he stopped caring about anybody else, and just did what he fancied. And he said as he was sort of journeying along in the early days, he was always trying to write something that sounded like somebody else. So he was always trying to be the new best person or the new that person. And when he’d go into interviews, they would say, oh, could you write us a song that sounds a little bit like so. And so? And he said, once he actually went, No, I’m just going to do my own thing. And if he doesn’t sell, I don’t even care. That’s where I started to take off. Can Can you see that?
Tay Clemons [13:42]
Yes, I really can. And it’s interesting that you mentioned that because, you know, with with the industry, that’s the way it always was. And it still is to some degree, I mean, everyone wants the next big thing. Right. I mean, you know, when I think about other artists, such as just get one out there, Rianna, you know, everyone’s in the sense looking for the next year, or someone better, but something on that level. And that’s one thing about me, you know, I like to sing music that connects with me, you know, I’m not concerned about being like this artist, although some artists may have an influence, or an impact, you know, I may see something that they do. And I’m like, wow, but I want to do music. That’s true to me. And it has to touch me first before it touches anybody else. So yeah, I can see where he stated, you know, once he did what was true to him, then it really took off.
David Ralph [14:29]
And you’ve made those sort of same mistakes. Have you have you ever because you sound pretty nailed down, but you’re tell you Clemens, but have you ever thought Oh, I’m gonna be I’m gonna be Beyonce, I’m gonna be sort of fallen into that trap.
Tay Clemons [14:44]
No, it’s funny. I never have thought that. You know, I’ve never thought I want to be like the next, Beyonce or Rihanna, like just like them. So, like I said, you know, every artist has an influence and an impact on those who aspire to sing or those who are singing because you you you take different things from those individuals, but I’ve never wanted to be like them. I just wanted to do what I do.
David Ralph [15:07]
Well, I’m gonna bring it up early, because I want to play what your musics all about. But this is a song that I’ve been listening to all week. And we’re gonna play about a minute of this. And listeners out there, get your cigarette lighters ready and wave your hands in the air because he’s got a good Corvus this one. And I can imagine is going down a storm, this is the child of the king.
Here we go cigarette lighters ready.
I couldn’t listen to all of it. I it was it was a struggle to turn that off. So Oh, this event has got sort of religious connotations in the background. But it doesn’t sound like it, you really got to focus in on the words before you sort of realize what it’s all about. It just came over as a really catchy song. Is that how you like your music to be sort of multi layered? You take it as one thing? And then once you start really focusing on it gets more debt?
Tay Clemons [17:21]
Yes, yes. And I’d like to view myself as not being a traditional Christian artists, so to speak, because I like to do music this true to me, but also have the message entailed in the music. So that’s really important to me just doing what I like to do, and not because it’s something someone else expects me to do. So yeah.
David Ralph [17:45]
So So how do you sort of make money in the early days, because it is, with everything, it’s all white when you come to the fore, and people notice you. But there’s an awful lot of struggle leading up to it where literally, you’re not earning any money in your going, man, two geeks, and you’re standing up there and and just trying to get noticed. Have you been on that journey as well?
Tay Clemons [18:07]
Absolutely, absolutely. And I’m still on that journey in the sense of you know, as far as the money, it’s more of what I love to do. And I know in time everything else is going to come behind it.
But yeah, so that’s definitely part of it.
David Ralph [18:22]
But But how do you get that belief tie? How’d you get that belief, but you’re not going to be still in the same place? Five years down the line? How do you know that if you keep on working early, creating your talent, getting it out there that things is going to come good for you?
Tay Clemons [18:37]
Well, I just believe that it will. And honestly, David, you know, even if it doesn’t, it’s okay. It’s what I love to do. And I want my music to impact the here. So if only you know, one person is affected, even though of course I want more people to be affected and impacted by my music. You know, that’s, that’s what really matters. So, you know, I hope to get to that point. And I believe that we’ll but if not, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just what I love to do,
David Ralph [19:04]
when the child of the kings always going to be on my mp3 player. Do you know that? And I didn’t pay for it. I just kind of copied it. I just copied it. So I’m hopefully that’s okay with you.
Tay Clemons [19:14]
That is fine. That is fine. So I would, I would much rather if your listeners if they’re hearing, they can definitely get it. It’s online on all outlets. So including iTunes. So if it’s something that they’re interested in, they can definitely purchase it. But I’m glad that you have it, David. I’m
David Ralph [19:31]
sorry. I just took it. That’s what I do. I’m all powerful today. I can do what I want to miss it. But yeah, it was we will have over links to download your music at the end of the show. So let’s take us right back in time. So your grandmother said, you know, at the age of two years bashing out the words and the songs and stuff, what what kind of music were you singing there? What was your influences at the age of two? Because other than sort of nursery rhymes and stuff? What were you listening to in the house?
Tay Clemons [20:00]
It’s funny, I don’t even think anyone’s ever taught me Nursery Rhymes around that age. But I think I guess all I could think of was probably church songs during that time because my grandmother, she was the one that would take me to church with her. That’s how I was actually introduced to church, through my grandmother. And so I but she said, I just stood up in the bed and started singing. So I do know, you know, growing up, that’s what I would listen to I had one little radio that my grandmother bought me. And I would just try to pull up any station I possibly could, you know, and just listen to whatever music was on that station. And just saying, so I can’t really pinpoint what music I was singing at age, but I think it was a variety.
David Ralph [20:38]
And so what what sort of music was around the house, because when I when I was growing up, it was all Elvis, the carpenters, The Beatles, it was all that and I remember distinctly laying on the floor with a load of sort of LPs as they were in those days, piling them up and one after enough, this sounds archaic, but one after another, they would drop down the needle would find the beginning and a way it would play. So what was the kind of music that really first started becoming your music and not just around the around the house.
Tay Clemons [21:09]
So the music that became my music was RMB music. It was more of you know, the, the the true, the guy, Mariah Carey, you know, those different artists became my type of music when I really started coming into it on my own. That’s the kind of music I started listening to.
David Ralph [21:32]
Because Carrey was great, but she kind of ruined a lot of stuff as well, didn’t she because when she came along, it was another way she was going to also have notes that you shouldn’t be able to reach. And a lot of people started doing that afterwards. And it was almost you sort of lost track of the tune. And it was all how you could hit the high notes and then drop down at the vocal acrobatics. Did you do see that when an artist comes along, but the oboe, they’re brilliant. A lot of people miss the trick. I suppose it takes us back to the achievement thing again, but they think that they’ve got to do the same thing. But there’s only one Mariah Carey isn’t there. There’s only one. You know, Asha, there’s only one Whitney Houston and you don’t really go again.
Tay Clemons [22:14]
You’re absolutely right. And speaking of that, Whitney was actually one of my all time favorite. She really had an impact. I mean, I remember growing up singing the greatest love of all and just listening to her voice. So I think she was mostly influential. But I do think a lot of people try to take on what is current? Because they think it’s, it’s what’s relevant. And, you know, they you they lose their uniqueness, just trying to sing like that artists instead of maybe taking a few things and just be their own. So, yeah. Well, when you
David Ralph [22:45]
look at Whitney, because I remember going to see Whitney in concert two or three times. And the very first time was when she had just come out and she had the album with saving all my love for you. And, you know, the greatest love of all and all at once and no, sort of classic early one of hers. And how will I know that that was a good one. And oh, yeah. And I remember seeing her at Wembley Arena in London, and she was on the round, and she was standing there. And she was in a white dress, always remember this. And you could see she was embarrassed being on stage, it felt like, as long as she closed her eyes, she was all right singing, but the actual, it between the songs she just didn’t have it just didn’t have it at all. And then brilliant, still brilliant. You could tell that this was a star. And when she sang, you know, you you was in in all of her talent. And then the next time I went to see was the I want to dance with somebody. And he just knew that she’d found her thing, then she, she got the performance, she’d got the songs and everything was sort of great. And then the last time I saw her, now I realized she she must have started being on that slippery road, which unfortunately took her to a to an end, because she spent more time being off the stage by next being on stage. And she used to get her backing singers singing the songs and we used to paint Well, we’ve come to see using not your backing singers. And you can look back on it and join up the dots in her life. And you can see that it was a slippery slope. What was it about Whitney that made her burn so brightly but made her ultimately burn out? Have you got any sort of perspective on that?
Tay Clemons [24:23]
I think I’m
sort of burnout. I mean, I really don’t know. But I guess maybe the company that she kept, you know, from definitely from all of what the media is, as I mentioned, just the type of things that the struggles that she already had, and then not being able to overcome those struggles? I don’t know, I really can’t speak to that, because I don’t know what caused her life to burn out. But I do know, at some point, like you said it was just like a slippery slope. And maybe we’ll never know what really, you know, caused all of that. But definitely what she had to deal with in her past I think has some sort of impact one, her demise.
David Ralph [25:04]
Did you do you think he’s more simple than that, though? Is it the people you surround yourself? You know, you surround yourself with your husband and your kids and and she surrounded ourselves with when you see about it, a lot of people that were just hanging around for three ride? Do you have to think that you’ve got to, I suppose it takes it to the listeners out there, when they want to do something good in their life, is it very important to surround yourself with the right people?
Tay Clemons [25:31]
It is very important to surround yourself with the right people. Still, you know, not shut everybody out. But your your core, you know, you definitely need to have strong people around, you know, not just Yes Men, but people to tell you know, and to be honest with you, you know, you need those those people who have your interests at heart, because not everyone that’s around you, you know, has your interests at heart, you know, they don’t all want to see you do well or want to see you succeed. But it is important to have those who can have a check and balance, so to speak. So that’s definitely important, the same morals and values, you know,
David Ralph [26:09]
you see that with your girls growing up of a surrounded with the with the good girls, are there some friends that you’ve been Hang on, hang on, I’m not too sure about them. You know,
Tay Clemons [26:18]
for the most part, I say yes. And of course, you know, we don’t know, outside of our presence, who our kids are really surrounded by but we try to instill in them, you know, the values and the importance of, you know, being around the right people, you know, making sure that you know, you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. And so, you know, with giving them that information, hopefully that’ll be something that will remind them of the type of company they keep even outside of our presence. But for the most part, I do believe they have, you know, pretty good friends and people around them outside of our presence.
David Ralph [26:51]
Because you were brought on to the show by a lovely lady who appeared back in the day called Barbara Archer. And she’s a woman full lady and she she had a quite a harrowing story and a tower. Fascinating show. If anybody wants to know about Barbara Archer, I’m desperately looking up it I tell you what show it is. But it’s back in the day. Oh, here we go. Episode 290. And what what is it about Barbara that made you connect with her? What is she giving you to the development of your career?
Tay Clemons [27:24]
Well, you know what, honestly, Barbara and I just started working together. And what I will tell you what I really love about her is her honesty. She’s very upfront. And you know, there’s no hidden agenda. I feel like what I’m getting from her Israel, it’s what it is. Either it’s on or it’s not. And that so it’s a level of trust that I’m developing with her. And that’s what I appreciate about her. I really want someone in my corner who’s going to tell me hey, yeah, this works. Hey, but this doesn’t work. And you need to do this, you know, and I’m open for that. So sometimes when you have people around this not as honest, you know, it’s just misleading. And it doesn’t help you. You know. So again, like I said, not always having a yes person like, yes, this is great. But also someone to tell you when now you need to do better at this, you need to increase this so that you can get to that level. And that’s what I love about Barbara.
David Ralph [28:14]
Yeah. And so does Barbara help with more away from the music. I’m matching the music is your game, but there’s the social media and the promotion is where she helps you with.
Tay Clemons [28:26]
Correct? Yes, yes. So she’s actually pushing in that area, you know, and in fact, this wonderful opportunity that I’m having with you right now, you know, is part of Barbara is doing and so she’s definitely hitting the ground with her with both both feet on the ground. And in fact only no both feet on the ground. I think she has one still in the air. And she’s just trucking along the way. But, you know, um, you know, yes, she she’s definitely moving. And she’s got some great things coming. She’s an honor to work with. And I really believe she’s a godson, honestly, you know, my husband and I talked about that. And so I’m just grateful to have the opportunity sad to have her in my corner. So,
David Ralph [29:02]
so so if she came along, and don’t worry about his type, Barbara won’t listen to this. Nobody listens to this is just between you and me. And she comes along and she listens to one of your new songs. And she says, I don’t like it. I really think that’s not very good. Would you ignore her advice? Or would you go? Well, okay, we won’t put that out. And how much influence Could she have on your actual musical output.
Tay Clemons [29:27]
Um, so with that, that’s a different piece. Because with my music, I believe in it. So if it if it’s something that I’m feeling very strong about, I would respect her opinion. But I’m going to go ahead with what I feel is the right song or the right, move in that sense. So you know, my music is definitely something that I do believe in. And so now and I guess it would depend on which angle she’s coming from, like, if you saying, well, maybe at this time, we want to focus on a different song, then maybe, maybe it’d be a different conversation, but it’s as far as my music and just not liking it, or, you know, thinking it’s something that should be released. I can’t go off of that. Because again, it’s something that I believe in.
David Ralph [30:09]
So so if I said to you, I tell you what, I think did you do know the artist Rick Astley? Do you know Rick Astley from the 80s? I’m not familiar. No, come on. Come on, tell you. You’ve been living in a box. Never gonna give you up. I’m never gonna let you down. Did you know that song? Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Well, other than sort of Elvis and the Beatles, he’s probably on that level of Okay, so I’m shocked but you don’t know. So if I come along to you and say, I think that you should do a big gospel number of one of Rick’s Greatest Hits, and it’s gonna sell would you buy into it? Or would you go now? I’m not gonna do it.
Tay Clemons [30:46]
Are you saying one of his songs as a gospel song?
David Ralph [30:48]
Yeah, change it, spin it up. So you know, do Never gonna give you up? Because if you think about it, never gonna keep you up. Never gonna let you down. You know, could be the greatest thing and people will be sitting there going, Wow, she’s put a new Speedo. Nice. I’ve never heard in that way.
Tay Clemons [31:03]
I would consider it. I would consider it. Yeah. And and I didn’t know his name, David. So I apologize. I knew the song because that’s one of the songs I used to listen to growing up that and Lisa Stanfield. I don’t know if you remember her? Yeah, yeah. So I mean, I will be open to it. I would give it some thought and just make sure it’s what I should do. But I would not. Not not looking to it, you know, so I consider it,
David Ralph [31:27]
I’m going to push you into it, you know, but I’m going to keep on emails and Skype until till I get it.
Tay Clemons [31:36]
Okay, well, if you do, then it’s going to be in the forefront of my mind. And you never know, it might be something that I might say something I might look into.
David Ralph [31:46]
You look into it, you look into it, because the words, I think you could do another remarkable job on that. And it would be it would send your career flying upwards. So what I want to do now I want to play some words, which are part of the show, and it’s really touches on the kind of passionate leap of faith going for what you really want in your life. Even if you don’t know the answers, it’s going to work. so busy Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [32:09]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [32:36]
powerful words. Powerful.
Tay Clemons [32:39]
Yes. Yes. Wow. And that’s so true. And I can identify with that, you know, because, you know, for a while, you know, I’ve gone back and forth with pursuing music and doing it alone, because again, I didn’t think I was good enough, didn’t think I was strong enough, you know, didn’t think I had what it takes to be a solo art, I always felt the need that I had to have someone else with me to make me who I am today. And so I’ve worked at, you know, a job for a while. And like I said, Just going back and forth about doing this music thing, but I knew it was something that God has placed in me and not by chance. And so I’m taking a chance on what I love. And so like Jim Carrey said, You know, I don’t want to fail at something that I wasn’t good at Anyway, you know, or want to, at least let me sell it something that I love to do. And that’s in put it inside of me. So that was a very good quote.
David Ralph [33:31]
So what what job Have you been doing then? So you’ve been going into an office whenever even though you wanted to do the music? You’ve been sort of paying the bills in a way?
Tay Clemons [33:40]
Absolutely, absolutely. Working for Fortune 500. Club, company, actually. And, you know, it’s just like I said that the timing, and it and it all starts with what you believe about yourself. Like he said, his father didn’t believe that he could be a comedian. So it really it all boils down to what you believe about yourself. And so I’m at a place now where I do believe that this is what I’m supposed to do. And I’m just going to do it, you know, and even at my current, in my current situation, you know, people are like, you know, why are you still here? You know, I see you here. And for a long time, I didn’t see myself there, but starting to see it.
David Ralph [34:22]
And so when when you’re going into that that job is is it a truth in life, but if you want something bad enough, you will do anything? In the meantime, to just sort of bring in money, you’ll you’ll you’ll take any gig if it ultimately leads towards your mission?
Tay Clemons [34:38]
Yes, yes. I think there’s, um, and some people may not do it, because you know, there’s other obligations. I mean, when you have a family and, you know, you have other things and and people that you have to take care of, then, you know, I guess it is a little concerning, and can be a little fearful in terms of moving forward, when it’s something that you’re passionate about that may not be bringing in the money, right now that you need to take care of those around you. And so some people get stuck in terms of do I do this? Or do I do this, and this is what I love to do, but this is what I need to do. So it’s just finding, you know, that that balance and doing that, and then ultimately making the decision to say, Hey, I’m going to take a chance, you know, and go for whatever it is that you want to do so,
David Ralph [35:21]
because I think there’s got to be a natural transition in life, hasn’t it, I think if you win the job, and you don’t like it, but you want to be a singer, and you want to get up there and do your thing, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to leave that job in two days later be playing Wembley Stadium for three nights. So there’s got to be that interim isn’t there. And within that period of you doing stuff that you don’t want to do, that’s your opportunity to really fine tune how much you want it, and and kind of find your thing, because it’s those difficulties and those challenges, but actually make you realize, yes, this is it, this is it, I’m gonna, I’m gonna have everything that life throws at me, because ultimately, I want this. And I don’t think many people allow themselves to have those challenges thrown at them, do you?
Tay Clemons [36:13]
I don’t, I don’t. And the thing about it is, you know, life is really short. I mean, we’re not promised tomorrow. So if there’s something that you really want to do, and you know, you’re wrestling with it, or you’re putting it off, because again, you just don’t know, or you haven’t tapped into or made the decision to move forward. You know, you just don’t know how much time you have left. So if it’s something that is in your heart to do start pursuing it, go back to that thing you love to do, you know, if it’s outside of your current responsibilities, and you just can’t afford to drop it all, you know, find some time like you say, to fine tune, and breathe into that dream again, so that you can pursue something before you leave this earth because tomorrow’s not promised.
David Ralph [36:52]
So when you when you when you in your face? Did you have the feeling that you know you’ve got to sing that? Would you? Would you peace I am so coffee and just just belting into voice whenever you want to know.
Tay Clemons [37:06]
It’s so funny because we talk about office etiquette all the time. And, you know, I find myself singing humming all the time, just actually I do it subconsciously, I’m not even aware of it. But everyone else around me is aware of it mostly shanty via, you know, a while they comment on TV at work. But the say, you know, is that you over there common, you know, think it again, and then I you know stop because you know mindful being in the office. But when it’s something that’s a part of you, you can’t help but to do it. And sometimes you don’t even realize you’re doing and especially when it comes to singing but yeah, that’s not a day goes by that I don’t sing an office and someone else hears and I’m like, Oh my god, I could listen to that all day. You know. So? Yeah. Which
David Ralph [37:47]
is great confirmation, isn’t it? When people are actually saying, I like that they’re not going out and paying for it. They’re not seeking it on YouTube. They just like the way that your talent makes them feel. That’s great, isn’t it? It is it is?
Tay Clemons [38:00]
It is and I’m thankful to have that impact on people. Because, you know, we never know what other what type of impact we have on others what we have, you know, we may think it’s something minor, you know, just the ability to make someone else smile, you know, but if it if it affects someone else in a way that they want more of it. In is priceless.
David Ralph [38:22]
Are you always smiling? Are you because I haven’t seen many pictures of you. But I’m big and smiling. Do you do you have moments when you go? This is this is just too hard?
Tay Clemons [38:34]
Yeah, absolutely. I’ve had moments where I just didn’t want to do it anymore. You know, and I think we all have different emotions that we go through. But I’ve certainly had those moments. So I’m not always smiling. But I try to think of things to make me smile. But yeah, I’ve definitely had those moments.
David Ralph [38:52]
Because what I like about you there is a feeling of positivity all the way through not just your music, but the Entertainment Group. But you’re you’re part of I’m going to ask you whether it’s actually your own group, we dream entertainment, I love that. I love that. Is that your own business is that you and your husband?
Tay Clemons [39:14]
It is it’s me and my husband’s entertainment business. And, you know, we dream is just something that we want to constantly do, you know, just dream big, you know, we dream that the possibilities are literally endless. And sometimes we can limit ourselves. And so that is our entertainment group that we’ve put together. And it’s, we’re doing some things. So there’s more to come. It’s not just me, but it’s some some things that’s coming behind us. And we’re very excited about it.
David Ralph [39:42]
So So how do the dreams not get scary, because we all have dreams. And more often than not the real big dreams, we kind of go. Now that’s too much. That’s too much. I can’t possibly think that. And that’s what I like about it. We dream entertainment, that’s hugely positive, because I love I love dreaming. I love that. I quite like going to bed at night, just to have a dream and see what happens. And then the next morning, I wake up and literally, I dream all the time. And but the dreams, I’ve got an emotion, I sort of save it on some of the shows. But when you think about the old Martin Luther King, I have a dream. You don’t really remember any of the rest of that speech. But I don’t I only remember that. And I remember that because it’s how it makes us feel. And if he said, You know, I have a plan, it just wouldn’t be as good. It’s the fact that he’s willing to put himself out there somewhere. Did you see that with what you’re building there? He actually has some be bigger than yourself.
Tay Clemons [40:39]
Absolutely, it’s definitely something bigger than ourselves. And I think when you said what type of emotion you have behind it, we dream, just the word dream. I mean, there’s a few different emotions you can think of, you know, as far as makes excitement, you’re excited about the dream. But at the same time, it can be a bit scary, because the dream is always bigger than you. And you may not necessarily have the resources, you know, the people, you know, just or whatever you need to fulfill that dream. But it doesn’t stop you. So you have to keep dreaming, you have to keep pushing. And so ultimately, you know, the hope is that that dream will be fulfilled. But if not, then you will at least be one step closer to where you were, you know, before, and maybe someone else can take it where you couldn’t take it but dream big and allow possibilities to be, you know, revealed. So
David Ralph [41:30]
I like the old phrase dream big, and then dream bigger. Because ultimately, the competition’s less, because so many people give up on me. I’m going to play some words now that really sort of emphasize just what you’re saying when you’ve got that dream, and it seems too big. And how do you sort of move forward to it when you really are making it up as you go along? Because you’ve never gone into it? And that’s that’s the exciting thing. Once you embrace the excitement, that it’s all play. You try one thing? Does it work? No, I try something else. Oh, that seems like it’s working. And you sort of get it going somehow. This is Oprah.
Unknown Speaker [42:04]
The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this. What is the next right move. And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [42:35]
That pretty good words as well. Amen.
Tay Clemons [42:38]
That is awesome. And it’s amazing that she said, you know, the next right move, and the next right move and the next right move. And failure will take you to that next place. You know, there’s a there’s a guy by the name of john Maxwell. And he has a book called failing forward. And so, you know, we do have to look at failure in the sense of, you know, it’s not necessarily, I don’t view it as failure, but it’s a step that you’ve taken, you know, and it may not work out. But at least you’re you’re settling forward, you’re moving forward, you’re not being stagnant. And so just like she said, the next right move and the next right move, but the key is moving, we have to move. In order to see the dream even become realize you have to move, you can’t just sit and dream, you have to have some action behind it. So
David Ralph [43:22]
but but people don’t. And that’s why I created this show. I used to have these conversations in the pub. And I used to say to people, come on, you can do this, why don’t you want to do it. And then six weeks later, I’d be having the same conversations with the same people. And that’s where it led to my leap, when I suddenly realize Hang on, I’m having these conversations all the time, but I’m not doing it myself, I’ve got to do something. So I realized I’d said it one too many times. And so I quit my job and left. And everything has been well, a little bit scary, since been to say the least. But you do actually have to take that action, don’t you? You have to take that first step and then look around and think was that the right step? No. Okay, I’m going to go in this direction. And what I love about it today is the fact that if you’re in your car, and you’re driving along the road and you go wrong, you’re just going out gone wrong, and your turn round and your find the right route back. But when it’s in our own personal life, we can really believe that we can do the same thing. We kind of think that it’s got to be a straight line, we go into that job because that’s going to be the big job and our been in this job for three years. Now. I can’t change direction again, course you can, you can keep changing direction until you die. And then unfortunately, there’s only one direction you’re going to go. But up to that point, you can do anything you want, can’t you but people don’t quite grumps, they, they look at the time that they’ve spent, and not the time that they’ve got left.
Tay Clemons [44:48]
Right, you’re absolutely right. And I think part of that is is maybe fear. You know, and like you said, there’s many paths, you know, you don’t have to take one path, and you don’t need it. I think that’s one of the things that we were we make mistakes. And I wanted to applaud you though. Number one, because you said that you were given all of this advice, and you realize that you hadn’t done it yourself. And so just stepping out and creating this, this podcast is radio show that you’re doing is is awesome. You know, and a lot of times I think I can even listening to you say that think of the times that I’ve actually encouraged people and empower people, but then didn’t necessarily do it myself, well make sure that it’s something that you’re applying to your own life, you know, and that’s huge. That’s huge.
David Ralph [45:31]
So So where are you going to go? Now in your life? You’ve got this platform, you’ve got the we dream Entertainment Group? What are you aiming for? The future? Are you aiming for Madison Square Garden? Or is that not the sort of the the route you want to take it?
Tay Clemons [45:47]
Oh, yeah, I am. I’m actually I am. I’m aiming for Madison Square Garden, I’m aiming for, you know, whatever international platform I can get on. Wherever, wherever this takes me, I’m aiming forward, as long as they impacts people, you know, it changes their life some way or gets them to think a different way, you know, is what I’m aiming for. So I’m very excited about the journey, because that’s truly what it is and what it will be, it’s going to be a journey. And I’m very excited about it.
David Ralph [46:15]
Well, I’m going to play the theme of the whole show now. And the there’s not many episodes, I let this guy passes by because it really does lead up to the number one question that I’m going to pose to you. So this is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [46:28]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn one path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [47:03]
Have you heard those words before?
Tay Clemons [47:06]
I have not?
David Ralph [47:08]
How do they make you feel when you hear them for the first time?
Tay Clemons [47:11]
Ah, well, it’s very empowering. And I mean, it gives you insight, especially when he said, you know, the dots, connecting the dots. And that will all connect somehow in the future. That that’s key. Because, again, like I mentioned earlier, I do believe that everything that happens, you know is it happens for a reason. It all works for the greater good. And so eventually, those dots will connect and, you know, hopefully it’ll be a good outcome. You know, but definitely powerful, powerful statement.
David Ralph [47:41]
So this is the question that I like to pose to everyone, what is your big dot? When you look back? on everything that you’ve achieved so far? What was the moment that you kind of go? Yeah, that was it. That was the moment when it started going where I want you to go.
Tay Clemons [47:58]
The big that for me, I would have to say is just pursuing my music career. All the things that I’ve gone through as far as all of the the the doubting the lack of confidence, the fear of failure, you know, the dismemberment of the group, and going back and forth in terms of if it’s something that I’m supposed to do. When that passion reignited. That’s to me when the dots connected, and I knew this is something that I had to do. And so now I’m on that path. But I think that’s where it connected for me just going back through wondering if it’s something that I should do. And the outcome is yes, this is something that you must do.
David Ralph [48:42]
And Ali, but that the black dots, the good dots are the good dots, the bad dots, when you look back on it, is it all just part of life rich tapestry?
Tay Clemons [48:52]
It is it is you have to have the good with bad, the bad with the good. So, I mean, I do believe that, that that’s what makes who you are, if we don’t experience some of those dots, you know, what would life be colorless? You know, we wouldn’t have any experiences to share with other people. And so my dot may not be your dot, but someone else may be able to identify it, and vice versa. And it doesn’t mean because it’s not your dot that I can’t glean from it. And something from your impact my life. So I think all of the dots are important, because it reaches in different ways. And ultimately, you know, you end up at that place, but they’re important.
David Ralph [49:31]
Absolutely every single dollar is important. Even if you don’t think a time when you look back, you go Yeah, I getting something from that one. It was a bad time in my life. But thank God for that. Well, what we’re gonna do now we’re going to send you back in time, this is the end of the show, and we’re going to send you back on this sermon on the mic. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young T, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give where we’re going to find out, because I’m going to play the theme. And when it’s paid you up, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [50:04]
We go with the best bit
Unknown Speaker [50:07]
of the show.
Tay Clemons [50:22]
Wow, I would have to go back to the age of eight. And what I would say to the young today is that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And you know the possibilities are endless. But you have to believe they are. Say, you know, it’s not going to be a walk in the park. But you can do it if you choose to. I want you to be fearless you know, be confident and just be honest with yourself, you know, be selective, but show love to me, everybody you know, and don’t be afraid of rejection, because there will be times that you will be rejected. Everybody’s not going to believe in you. But you’re going to have to believe in you. And most importantly, you know, just be who you are unique in, there’s nobody else like you. So don’t be afraid to be you. And you have to trust that you were created for a purpose and that you do have something to give to the world. And you owe it to yourself. So don’t be afraid. Be fearless and shine bright. And the world is yours and you will win.
David Ralph [51:34]
So how can our audience connect with you.
Tay Clemons [51:37]
They can connect with me on Facebook, on Twitter at Tay Clemons. If you’re interested in any of the music, you can go to iTunes or they’re available on all online outlets, but Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Tay Clemons. And I’ll be glad to connect back with you. So we connect the dots.
David Ralph [51:57]
Absolutely, we’re gonna have all the links on the show notes. Tay Clemons, thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Take Clemens, thank you so much. And thank you for doing that new cover version of Rick Astley is never gonna give you out. So you have started already.
Tay Clemons [52:22]
Okay, I’m gonna have to break that down. But David, thank you. It’s been a pleasure. And all of your listeners, I just want to say David is he’s a great guy. And I know you guys know that you listened to him every day. But I just thank you for the opportunity. You made me feel very comfortable. And your personality is just one of a kind. So thank you for what you do. And continue to do it. And I’m sure we’ll we’ll meet again.
David Ralph [52:44]
Thanks. Thanks for listening to today’s episode of join up dots brought to you exclusively by podcasters mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life but you love check out podcasters mastery com now
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.