Laurie Burton Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Laurie Burton
Laurie Burton is today’s guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots podcast interview.
She is a lady who has been using the power of the spoken word for over three decades
For over 30 years, corporate leaders, actors, sales teams, and professionals in all areas of the marketplace have relied on her training to assist them with reaching their goals of speaking more powerfully, selling with finesse, and leading with inspiration.
But this isn’t a lady who has simply come through the corporate route, standing in front of bored directors in the boardrooms of the world.
No, this is a veteran performer of film, television and theatre, who has trod the boards, appeared in hit shows, and movies too.
How The Dots Joined Up For Laurie
But it seems to me that a key moment in her life wasn’t whilst she was in the spotlight, as such but instead when being hired by a corporation over 25 years ago
The hiring guy looked at her resume and said to her “Leave out the words ‘acting techniques.’ We don’t act here,”
To which she replied, “Oh, I beg to differ. You act every day. All business people have a role to play and the key to success lies in their performance.”
And, by “acting” I don’t mean faking, pretending or imitating. I DO mean, delivering a message or script or any communication with authenticity, passion, energy and animation”
Wow, that was a ballsy response to someone wanting be hired.
So is that a clear indication of what you get from this lady, or was this another example of acting and delivering a message?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Laurie Burton
Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Laurie Burton as:
How she remembers seeing her family standing on the stage of the Hollywood Bowl, and knew in her heart that she needed to follow suit.
How you have to go out to the end of that branch to face your fears, and if you fall off don’t worry about it. Just climb up the tree again.
Why the lessons in life that she took with her into adulthood mainly came from her brilliant mother, and her entrepreneurial acumen.
How she left college and became a secretary at Paramount, and calls herself the world worst secretary but loved everyday in tinsel town.
And lastly……..
How she found her big dot when she ran her hands down the face of a huge whale……and knew that she was going to return home to change her life.
How To Connect With Laurie Burton
Return To The Top Of Laurie Burton
If you enjoyed this episode with Laurie Burton, then why not listen to some of our favourite podcast episodes such as Patricia Noll, Lolly Daskal, Dorie Clark or the amazing Dana Malstaff
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Full Transcription Of Laurie Burton Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com, the premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now at podcasters mastery.com.
Intro [0:12]
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:37]
Yes, hello there, everybody and welcome to Episode 369. We’re easing into our three day a week mode and to be honest, to be honest, it’s quite nice. I’ve got time now to walk around the garden and do some other stuff. But believe me, we’re not going to stop how focused on providing you guys with the best motivational content we can take Get your backsides off the sofa, as I always say, go out and get your dreams. And today’s guest is an amazing lady where we were having a good old chat before we even started recording and I could have gone on all night not even bringing you a show. But she is a lady who has been using the power of the spoken word. for over three decades for over 30 years. corporate leaders, actors, sales teams and professionals in all areas of the marketplace have relied on a training to assist them with reaching their goals of speaking more powerfully selling with finesse, and leading with inspiration. But this isn’t a lady you simply come through the corporate route standing in front of board directors in the boardrooms of the world. Now, this is a veteran performer of film, television and theatre. I don’t know she likes the word veteran, but we’ll find out who has taught the board and appeared in hit shows and movies too. But it seems to me that a key moment in her life wasn’t while she was in the spotlight as such. But instead when being hired by a corporation over 25 years ago now the hiring guy looked at her resume and said leave out the words acting techniques. We don’t act here. That was good winning. That’s acting it is best. To which she replied Oh, I beg to differ. She’s not English, by the way just sounds right. Oh, I beg to differ you act every day all business people have a role to play in the key to success lies in their performance. And by acting, I don’t mean faking, pretending or imitating I do mean delivering a message or script or any communication with authenticity, passion, energy, and animation. Wow. Now that was a ballsy response to someone wanting to be hired. So is that a clear indication of what you get from this lady? Or was this just another example of acting and delivering a message? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Laurie Burton. How are you lovely.
Laurie Burton [2:47]
I’m great. I love that intro. It was terrific.
David Ralph [2:51]
Was that the best thing you’ve ever heard being a veteran and I don’t like to use that word, but it means you’ve been around a bit. But um, what was that was that top notch
Laurie Burton [3:00]
That I I take my do with that that’s perfect. I’m a veteran, definitely of life. And what
David Ralph [3:07]
does that mean to you? And the word veteran is not just mileage, it means experience. It means not experience. Everything doesn’t.
Laurie Burton [3:16]
It means knowledge, experience, the pain, the delights, the joy, the all the different aspects of being alive on this planet. That’s I’m a veteran. And I, I know what I feel like I’ve paid my dues. And so that’s, that’s how I earned the word veteran. I paid the dues. I spilled a lot of blood. And that has to do with acting. Because in order to reach those emotional obligations, you gotta dig dig deep as a method actor, you know, the word method, right, David, do you think yes, yes. It’s, it’s odd. It’s not odd. It’s it’s the English don’t necessarily come from the method. point of view, but they still succeed. Obviously, they’re wonderful actors. But the method is a whole different way of working as an actor.
David Ralph [4:07]
So So are we more kind of spontaneous, or just sort of character based in the UK?
Laurie Burton [4:14]
spontaneous? Yes, Yes, I would. I agree with you work more from the outside in, we work from the inside out.
David Ralph [4:23]
I don’t know. Why is that is it is it because of in the United Kingdom? for many, many years? We haven’t got a sort of movie industry. We we were raised on the stage where things have got a certain amount of flexibility, I suppose because you’re playing in my borders.
Laurie Burton [4:40]
Yeah, I think it’s several things that are have caused the differences to occur but the method is the foundation is in Russia Stanislavski and brought over to brought to the United States with Lee Strasberg. It’s I The history involves people’s points of view and their experiences in life and their, the way the countries have evolved. But that’s a kind of a deep explanation of it. But the method is, again, comes from your own emotional experience. You have to dredge it up to reach the emotional obligations of the scene. So if you’re tearful and suffering in the scene, you try to reconnect to a part of that life where you might have felt that or do a what we call a what if, what if something tragic happened to you, so that you can then work with that? What if, if it hadn’t experienced a death in your family or something like that?
David Ralph [5:42]
He’s it that that, to me sounds an awful way of doing it. If I was an actor, I would like to just go and pretend I’m somebody else for the evening and then and then stop. I don’t want to be dredging up bad memories just so that I can cry on camera.
Laurie Burton [5:57]
Well, it’s also the joy in your life. Whatever there the scene is calling for it’s When was I joyful? When did I feel that kind of joy one was I laughing hysterically so you can go to those moments I know it sounds like a torturous way of fulfilling your your emotions but it really called out to me I really got it changed my life the method it changed my life and and the man I studied with for 12 years so it’s a while you
David Ralph [6:28]
always planning to be in the spotlight what was Was that something that drew you right from an early age?
Laurie Burton [6:36]
It did david i from a little girl I was performing I was singing and dancing and and acting out scenes. My mother just thought I was fantastic you know they Oh my darling girl you’re yes you’re going to make it but my mother was a singer and with big bands and and also I saw I remember seeing her on the stage at the Hollywood Bowl. Singing So, my father was a violinist. So we I came from a show business family. And it was in my blood music is in my blood. I always wanted to be a singer, David. But at 21 I went out on the road and I didn’t have the soul. I didn’t have the the spirit and the soul to put into those lyrics at that age. I could do it now. Boy, could I do it? Oh,
David Ralph [7:24]
is it No, isn’t it but you have the desire, but you haven’t got the experience. And when you get to a certain age, when you’ve got the experience, more often than not the desires gone because you haven’t got it early enough. You see what I’m saying?
Laurie Burton [7:40]
Well, you know, I had the desire, but I didn’t have the inner talent to let to and knowledge about how to bring it to the surface. I didn’t have the life experience, the pain, the joy, all those things when I was 21. I was I came from a pretty middle class privileged background
David Ralph [8:03]
it’s it’s an interesting part but actors have if you look at a lot of this or big Hollywood a listers, they seem to have pretty dysfunctional childhoods where their family were dragging them from town to town to town. A lot of them are headline salesman fathers or fathers in the military or whatever. So they almost had to reinvent themselves by going into new towns all the time and making new friends quickly. You sound like you had a different upbringing but it was very solid and very happy with it.
Laurie Burton [8:37]
Well, you know, there’s also the other side of the coin from the the people in Hollywood who who were raised with a lot of money and ignored by their parents. So they suffered that the the love and the and and the loving. It’s lacking just I went flashed on my mother and my father at that point. When I was just then and I realised my they were separated, even though when they were together, they were separate. And it wasn’t a loving family. My mother was darling. My father feels very distant, distant as I talk about him right now he didn’t know how to express his love. And so it I have suffered from that and my my mother were married a very wealthy man and they put me in a separate little cottage from where when I was 11 years old, because they didn’t have room in the main house. So that’s not a really nice loving way to grow up. How could your mother do that to you when you were 11 even though I loved it because I having my own little cottage and playing my music and he was a big band leader and he had his whole band lived on that car in this one area. A lot of college cottages in this land in the valley. My voice is going to this morning. But so it wasn’t a great family feeling. No way.
David Ralph [10:01]
held you back or is that driven you forward because as you were saying about the little cottage, I was thinking, that must be amazing as an 11 year old, as you say, having your own little space that you can go off and do because most kids will be sharing with brothers and sisters. And so in one ways it was blessed. But do you look back on it now and think that it was a gift? Or was it something that’s held you back?
Laurie Burton [10:26]
Good question. Wow, gift. It was a gift. It made me very independent, but it made me very protective. And you use the word ballsy at the beginning, and made me very hard and ballsy is like Don’t mess with me. And I worked for years on becoming vulnerable as an actor. He was my he was relentless with me and in class, doing an individual exercises where I had to work on my vulnerability and get over get work. Through that ball zenus. So that there was an equal balance of that those two sides of me, because that’s what I use to protect me. I can call on it anytime I can’t want now because I know it so well, but I don’t I don’t need it I the other the vulnerable is where my work comes from.
David Ralph [11:20]
That’s interesting, though, isn’t it? But you go into a corporate role, where it is all about performance, because that that’s what the corporate gig is. And that’s what appealed to me. In that introduction. I know exactly what you mean about acting. I used to act every single day when I went into the job because quite often, I didn’t really want to do it, but I played a part so it looked like I wanted to do it. And then I got my money at the end of the month and all was good. So I think acting is a huge part in in office life, but vulnerable acting isn’t so what do you mean by that one You need to be vulnerable in your work,
Laurie Burton [12:01]
I think, I think in general, the population is afraid of their vulnerability and your vulnerable side. There’s a wonderful TED talk by Brian brown that’s received the most looks on YouTube. And she talks about vulnerability and she admitted she took some crazy feedback from this this talk, but it opened my eyes once again to what I do and if you can tap into your vulnerability, then you can do anything and build on that but what we start with is that insecure place of protective protection rather than and then we try and go work forward from there, but you never get the colours that come from being a vulnerable person of vulnerable being. So do you know what I mean by colours? were limited When our colours are cut off, and we and we go out into the business world, and we, and we project ourselves as being serious and wonderful and, and and very businesslike and knowledgeable. Yeah, whatever they were vulnerable and had fun on top of it.
David Ralph [13:15]
Because I always used to try to do that. I always wanted to have fun. And sometimes it was fun just a fun site because they used to annoy me To be honest, I used to think Neil bed visibie family are do this instead. And more often than not the people. I save it a lot, actually. The people sort of lower than me, loved me, but the people above me that could have done something really good for my career hated me. And I used to find, I used to play to the wrong audience. And I look back on it now and I think I missed out on so many opportunities on huge promotions, just because I was trying to be my authentic self and the people above me were being actors, if that makes sense. Yeah.
Laurie Burton [14:01]
Yeah, were they, they were cutting you off at the at the fright from their point of view it was they were competitive, right? And they were envious. Well, I
Unknown Speaker [14:13]
don’t think so stylish.
David Ralph [14:15]
That’s the thing, I don’t think they could see how I could do the work I’m doing look like I’m enjoying myself. And don’t give a monkey’s about it either. If, you know, I used to sort of do what I had to do as well as I possibly could. But at the end of the day, if it wasn’t done, I’d come back the next day and finish it off, where so many of them would stay there till like 10 o’clock at night. And I couldn’t honestly want to stay to at 10 o’clock at night. So I used to think well, why are you staying there? Because they’re playing the row and you see that time and time again, don’t you?
Laurie Burton [14:47]
Wait, don’t you think that’s what kept them from giving you a higher a higher off office personnel or what? What am I going to call it? I’m giving you raising Your salary or getting a promotion that’s the word oh my god a promotion? Yeah, I think I think so the day you had a lot going for you and perhaps they didn’t want to be competing with you or have you higher up than them and and watching you climb the ladder and there they were with their stuck in the mud, kind of personal, the personality I don’t know I
David Ralph [15:25]
don’t do we think now looking at you and me and I suppose the world as well because the world is eavesdropping into our conversation. Is it the case of when we stop doing the performance and really focus in on our own skills, our own talents and becomes authentic? Is that when it all really starts cooking on gas?
Laurie Burton [15:48]
Yes, yes, that’s what I’m all about. It’s got to come from me you who you are,
how your personality comes across and if you can If you’re afraid of that, then you know, you’re going to go on for the rest of your life being less than what you initially had in mind. My point is my feeling is you’re going to go out to the end of that branch, and trot, face those fears. And if you fall off, and get back up and climb up again, but Jeez, are you going to face your fears? Or what? Because if you face your fears, you’re going to discover some really scary things and some delightfully wonderful experiences. But you gotta go be willing to risk Well, you do
David Ralph [16:37]
and I see more often than not lonely, that the people who have lost a lot, go for it. They go for it big time. Take Yes, but the ones that have kind of got halfway up and I was like this for many years, you know, I’m not saying about, you know, I’m a missionary and I can see things in a different way the years I almost didn’t rock the boat because I Got to a certain level. And I wanted to keep that. What happens if I lose my job? What happens if I really play authentic? And they don’t like it, they get rid of me. What if, what if? What if, and now the waters have gone out the window? I can just speak for myself. I can I can see my path in front of me. And I think everyone out there the whole world if I, if I lost it, and I wouldn’t I don’t want them to lose it. But if I did, well, there’s opportunities whichever way they look.
Laurie Burton [17:28]
Mm hmm. It’s, I think it’s, it’s age and experience and knowledge that it’s going to be okay. And at this point, I don’t care what they think I cared so much when I went in to audition for acting roles. Oh, my goodness, I used to, you know, kill me if I didn’t get the part. Or if I just blew the audition. But now I don’t care. You’re gonna like it or not. That’s fine. It’s me. I know what I know. So that’s a lot lifelong lesson to love yourself and, and enough to say, Okay, here I am, this is the best I can do. Do you like it? Well, good. If not, well, then let’s move right along.
David Ralph [18:13]
So so when you went into that that job interview because it was ballsy, and we’re going to touch on this. And it did get that quite a good question Really? Was this an example of acting and delivering a message? Or did you truly believe that because when you in the interview format, you pretty much will say anything by you want to hear you play the cards to get the job done. And the fact that you said van and I looked at him for all that’s the kind of thing I would have said, I can see what she’s doing totally. But more often than not, you wouldn’t get the job because of it because it’s not playing to what they want. Do you look back on that and go, yeah, that was a moment that really led me to where I am now or were you already on that path. And that was just a situation that you thought was nice to put on your LinkedIn profile.
Laurie Burton [19:00]
And it wasn’t so much in those days I was playing it safe because I really I was young a lot younger and and didn’t know that it was okay to cross the line and just be myself I was working on it but I wasn’t there yet so it was a combination it took more years especially when I came from the acting into the corporation working with individuals that I just learned that I had so much to say and I my perceptions were so right on that I learned to trust who I was to take that in and and value it is acting was just something out there was always trepidation involved and some fear. There were at the end sometime when I when I was on a soap I had more fun than you can imagine. Oh my gosh, and what
David Ralph [19:54]
sort of level soap but you were you on.
Laurie Burton [19:57]
I was on something called level What
David Ralph [20:01]
was it eight times a day time or
Laurie Burton [20:03]
day times? Yeah, it was a date. It ran in the day time and some places and in the evening and others, it was on for two years. And I was one of the regulars on the show. And I went in there every day. And when I say spilled blood, spilled blood, you know, I was,
Unknown Speaker [20:17]
everything
Laurie Burton [20:18]
was so emotional. I knew there was somebody was being killed, and the children were doing well, you know, just, it was wonderful. So I had more fun on that. And I really was it. I tapped into the core of my abilities on that show. It was fun. I loved it. If you can imagine wanting to do that every day, and was having to memorise,
David Ralph [20:38]
yes, cool. Yeah. What was it a harsh environment to get into? Because, you know, you’re a very attractive lady. You got blonde hair. You’re going into the acting world, and we hear all the stories about the casting couch and all that kind of business. Was it? Was it cutthroat or is that a kind of myth?
Laurie Burton [20:56]
It’s cutthroat in the you know, I hear it’s a lot more cutthroat now but it I certainly did come across the casting couch. And, you know, let’s let’s just go out and discuss this my being your manager for cocktails and then I went and found out that Oh, he did. He wasn’t just talking about cocktails. But he didn’t become my manager obviously getting those roles for me. I not too many of them, not too much of the casting couch. But Gosh, I didn’t play that game. You know, I didn’t. I didn’t put that out there like I was available to succeed by being available to do other things.
David Ralph [21:41]
Why not so because so many people are so desperate for that, that that door to open. What made you stick to your models?
Laurie Burton [21:51]
Ah, it just, it was important to me. I just was not something I could do to succeed. I guess I was more, I was more involved in my talent and selling that as, as a way to succeed and not having to do something else to succeed. I, I just couldn’t I couldn’t make it was my background, my, my what my mother had taught me and I just was never like that.
David Ralph [22:25]
And we’re talking about a personal belief you knew about your talent, your skills, your persistence, would get you where you wanted to go, where a lot of people will look for the cutting corner route.
Laurie Burton [22:39]
Yes, yes. Or if they knew that, and they were open to that, that they could just, you know, let that slide and go ahead and do that. What the heck, but I know I wasn’t into that. And I’m certainly I lost a few roles because of that. And also because I didn’t get the job. It’s the readings weren’t that good or they were We’re looking for a different type. I mean, you, David, you’re a piece of meat when you’re an actor. The bottom line
David Ralph [23:07]
well on your piece of metal look Anyway, when when you go into corporate world and you work in a corporation, ultimately, they really can. I might give you little perks and gym memberships and all that kind of stuff. But you’re gonna piece of me on you.
Laurie Burton [23:20]
Yeah, you’re right. Yes. I never thought of it in the corporate arena. But you’re right. The way they treat people, it’s something I fight against constantly. Give them give them this knowledge and you you’ll find more success than ever with this corporation.
David Ralph [23:39]
Either will will. I find so much now that the entrepreneurial route isn’t something bad is in someone. It seems to be something that they have to do as a survival mechanism. They they’re in jobs that they don’t like the boss. They don’t like the pressure. They don’t like this. They don’t like Bye. And if you took all that away, but be very happy being in a job and getting their money and coming home, but more often than not they need to do the entrepreneurial route going into that world of uncertainty, because there’s too much now but I just don’t like and it’s just a totally different ballgame.
Laurie Burton [24:18]
Well, I can’t believe the way they treat people in the corporate world these days. Yes, an entrepreneur, big become an entrepreneurial entrepreneur. It’s but it takes that doing what all these things by yourself or with, you know, another person a partner, it’s tough. There’s so with with social media nowadays. That drives me insane. All I want to do is teach. I want to be there helping people break through, and I hate marketing, hate marketing. I love radio. I love TV going doing that, but Oh, no. Marketing is something I just is not up my alley, but I do. Do it because I have to. And the part that I really enjoy is that the blogging, really enjoy that. The writing about what I do.
David Ralph [25:09]
Well, let’s play some words now. But take us to the next stage of our conversation. And I love these words. And they’re they’re from a famous actor Jim Carrey. And this is what he says,
Jim Carrey [25:20]
Oh, my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [25:48]
So what did you learn from your father?
Laurie Burton [25:55]
My father, now you’ve got tears in my eyes because I my father had money on the brain. It was all about money. He tried to marry into it five times. That’s not not proud, proud to talk about this, but and then he it was it was, it was he never he never made it either. He never made the money he always dreamed of making. And he was he was doing two jobs. He was a salesman. He was a violinist in the evening. So the lessons didn’t come from him. The lessons came from my mother. She had the first Caesar salad dressing on the market, in the in the 40s. She went out there and created her own her own dressing and had a manufac string. I remember going into the into her her manufacturing plant and and just being in awe of her and what she had achieved and oh my gosh, it’s and but the flip side of that is that she gave it up to get married. She gave up her business
David Ralph [27:03]
mistake when when you think back obviously is a personal thing that she decided, but do you look back on it? Right? Why?
Laurie Burton [27:11]
Why it was the question why? Yeah, yes, yes. But in those days, women, you know, it was the prints on the white horse and he’s going to and being taken care of was, was her choice. And it was not mine. I gave that up 30 some years ago, after two marriages saying no more depending on a man for what I want.
David Ralph [27:33]
But the interesting thing is that she was supported, you know, yes, having a business that is sort of flourishing is the ultimate goal, isn’t it to get back up? Yes, go to a gentleman where it may not work and you end up back at square one seems a bizarre choice.
Laurie Burton [27:52]
It was it wasn’t and it went until she died. She was in an marriage. choice that took care of her and, and guarantee that she would, you know die in a happy place with money. But but it doesn’t haunt me it’s just something I keep in the back of my mind and say, huh, net not for me, not for me. So what your parents teach you as or not what they give you or not? Well, she gave me a lot a lot of love and support but for her all her choices, and my my favourite it’s saying is it’s all about your choice and the choices you make by choices oh my goodness, what a word.
David Ralph [28:48]
Well choices or taking a chance as Jim Carrey was saying, take a chance on doing what you love. Now, is that the ultimate choice that we can make is that Is that the message really, that we should be getting out to the audience until a new generation that you don’t have to put up with? crap you can you can go for something and work harder than you’ve ever heard, worked, spill blood, as you were saying, but give yourself a chance of getting what you love.
Laurie Burton [29:21]
Absolutely. And living in Los Angeles in Hollywood in this particular kind of setting. There’s a lot of spoiled children here who are given everything they want. And then they’re forced into, you know, the LSAT scores for college and they’re pushed into college and the mom and dad work like hell to make enough money to put them in all these private schools because everybody’s against the public school schools. And it’s just an it’s tough, it makes sense to me. I went raising my daughter, I didn’t have to go through that. So It’s just it doesn’t, it doesn’t turn out some really viable wonderful loving, vulnerable kids going forward into into the workplace. That is more like machines there so forced into all this studying and getting A’s and sh I’m telling you it boggles my mind.
David Ralph [30:25]
But it boggles my mind. And one of the things that has come out over the course of these nearly 400 shows is that fundamentally, the education system is flawed, because it doesn’t allow the the people going through it to flourish and do the things that they love, and hopefully come out the other end with a love of education. It gives them every chance to come out the upper end going thank god that’s over. The last thing I’m going to do is study again because moms and dads and whatever saying oh, you gotta physics out. You gotta have maps. When you come out you need this and back where literally we should say, or I believe we should say is, do what you love. Do what you love there. Enjoy your time. And when you come out, Ben make decisions because you’ve got the rest of your life ahead of you. And it’s a journey. It’s a journey.
Laurie Burton [31:17]
Is it always the question is always been in my mind, how can they know at 18 what you want to do for the rest of your life? There should be a college that just lets people experiment and everything, they’re interested in all everything, but no, they shove it down their throats, and they come out as a lawyer and they go into this into part of a particular lawyers, corporation or whatever and, and as a as somebody at the bottom of the rung and then they start to save themselves. What am I doing? What am I doing? What did I do? What did they Make they do and then things start to you know the pot starts to get stirred and they get start to get anxious and and wonder what what have I done what am I going to do for the rest of my life? I don’t like this. The choice was wrong. I hate forced them into if
David Ralph [32:18]
you made the wrong choice because you It sounds like you found shipping quite early. And it’s taking you to a point now that certain aspects of your day you don’t like but you put up with it because the majority you love and has that been the case or have you gone into corporate jobs but you didn’t like and struggled like the rest of us?
Laurie Burton [32:39]
I’ve never been I came out of college. And I had the nerve to call being they hired me as a secretary. But it I was the most untalented test Secretary ever and that lasted until I worked at pyramid and I just was not that good. I could answer the phone but anything else that but I got my first agent there because he would come into our offices and talk to them my boss. And so that was that was great.
David Ralph [33:12]
That was great was that it must have been amazing must say, oh, maybe you didn’t see any of the glamour. You only saw.
Laurie Burton [33:18]
No, I saw all the glamour I was it was it was so much fun. I mean, Jerry Lewis was part of the building that we were in and in those days and they were making all kinds of great movie it was it was great. I loved it. Action all the time. You know people coming and going to work you hated the job that you love the employees it hated the job, but I loved being there. And, and yeah, right. And apparently, you know, driving to Paramount every day. For a job. It was a dream come true. And I get my first agent from that too. Amazing.
David Ralph [33:55]
And then once you look back, do you go yes, I had Go through back to really find what I wanted to do, because I’m a great believer now. But when you’re in a rubbish job, and we’ve all had rubbish jobs when we’ve gone Oh my goodness, when I look back on it now I kind of go, yeah, I had to do that. To push me on to my next step. I had to go through the rough time to move on to the light. And did you see that as well?
Laurie Burton [34:25]
Yes, I totally agree that that builds the foundation of success.
David Ralph [34:34]
And your people, your, your, your clients, when you go in? Do you see that they are like we were many years ago, or are they already ahead of the curve? Is there a clear indication but people in corporate gigs are trying to have their cake and eat it already, unlike we used to.
Laurie Burton [34:56]
A lot of people are stuck in the corporate corporate lifestyle. There, they’ve reached a kind of a place of Okay, this is good I’ll go for this and I’m settling for this. I don’t see a lot of creativity they forced creativity by teams and and they have to they have to come up with new ideas and creations but as individuals I think the teams do it a lot better than then then perhaps what person by themselves because you get everybody putting their ideas in together. But um, I wish I I wish it was that creative from the foundation was there for each individual, but I don’t think so. That there’s too much resentment as far as pay and ours. Oh, my God, I work them to death. But but
David Ralph [35:49]
because question to death, yeah, because they welcome them to death. I personally think that people are becoming aware they’re starting to look around, but not just looking at jobs. And it’s almost a case of now that’s gonna be the same as this one. Bad getting on the blocks. They’re looking around. They’re looking at Lori Burton doing her thing and going, Yeah, not me. Now, they don’t know how to get there, which is one of the reasons I created this show, to almost tell them that you get there by doing stuff. And you try thing, right? And you connect and you pick up the phone and you just try stuff. And then every now and again, somebody will come along and they feel better than where you were before and you sort of move forward. But I do think people are becoming more aware of the world’s opportunities because we’ve got the world window in front of us every time we turn a computer on.
Laurie Burton [36:40]
Yes, they’re restless. Yes. They’re restless and looking for ways to break out of the mould. And the mould is kind of stuck. That’s my work getting people unstuck in the personalities, because that becomes stuck as well as you know, with through the job they get stuck in there. And the way they go about expressing themselves day to day, and you know, being having cell phones and emails and doesn’t help our ability to communicate. Yeah, yeah, that yeah, that again is my business.
David Ralph [37:18]
Did you wish it wasn’t there? Because having people like yourself, which is great, and the life coaches and myself and all these people going, Come on, guys, this is what you want to do. I often think as I’m doing this, even though I love the conversations, why is it required? Why can’t we just know ourselves? Why can’t we go for what we want? Why are we playing the roles that other people are setting down for us? It’d be great if, if you and me suddenly disappeared, and the world just freed themselves somehow.
Unknown Speaker [37:51]
My knee having to eat
Laurie Burton [37:56]
money, I think it’s driven by money. Not Not individual drive and ambition. I wish it were. I would. It’s this particular time and age that we’re in. I don’t think that existed necessarily in the in the 30s and 40s and 50s or 60s. I just, it feels very different to me now. Looking I didn’t I wasn’t born yet, but in the 30s and 40s, the 50s Yes, but I don’t it feels very different. It feels kind of on lockdown, or settle for less. Too hard to to undertake. Where Where could I possibly go? And and that’s for a lot of people. Not all I mean, there’s the entrepreneurial drive.
David Ralph [38:48]
But I don’t want to pin your drive. I think it’s lifestyle drive, isn’t it? I think if you ask most people and said to them, Look, you could take a bit of a pay cut but You can then get rid of that horrible boss, and you can choose your hours, you still gotta do the same amount of work, but you can do it where you want or whatever. Most people nowadays would say, Yes, I would do it. Yes. So don’t think it’s entrepreneur. I think it’s the fact that why are people dictated to being an office at the certain time sitting in front of a plank of wood in an office where nowadays you be connected and do anything. And that’s one of the things that actually made me leave my company. But I got to the point of thinking, why the hell am I being told to come here at this time? Why can’t I do it? Two o’clock in the morning? Why? Why am I still doing the work? And it really sort of bothered me, but it was a lovely sunny day. And I didn’t actually have any work to do because I’d done it all. But I was still having to stay there for my hours. Looking at the window thinking why, why? Why? Counting the minutes, the seconds?
Laurie Burton [39:58]
Yeah, I I was at Office Depot yesterday. Excuse me, and watching the people and thinking they’re closing at six. I wonder if they’re counting the minutes because they all looked pretty bored. Having Yeah, it’s
David Ralph [40:14]
when was the last time you’ve been bored?
Laurie Burton [40:17]
I haven’t been I can imagine. I’m not bored. I’m not bored. I’m a I’m excited about what I do. I love what I do. I’m not bored with it at all. There are deadlines that it gets a little scary at times that I have to meet. But it’s I love it. It’s a driving creativity that’s always behind my back pushing me saying Okay, you got to do the blog and do this and go ahead and sometimes I say to myself, I don’t want to do the blog, but I sit down and I think what am I want to write about? And then I get into that kind of trance inspirational trance
David Ralph [40:56]
in the flow
Unknown Speaker [40:58]
in the flow. Yeah.
David Ralph [41:00]
That’s a fascinating state, isn’t it? Because I find more often than not doing these shows. Now I press record and I’m in that state. I’m in the flow, where I’m listening to you trying to think of the next question, very aware, because we record them Skype, Skype does that horrible thing that when you talk, I can’t hear you when I talk. And you get these, like cutouts. So you’re so concentrating on everything, I suddenly look at the clock and think, Oh, my God, an hour’s almost gone. Bang. And I never used to have that in corporate life, except for when I was doing presenting and training. And then I was in that same state, but actually, the nuts and bolts of the rest of the day was just past 910 o’clock, half past 11. And I just know that the world can get into that state of flow, they can find their thing. They can read books, where they lose themselves, they can watch movies and getting into that. And so if we can do that all in one we want to do it. Why can’t we built into our life, why can’t we have flow over time so that we literally go Oh, it’s lunchtime. Wow, what happened to those three hours?
Unknown Speaker [42:08]
Yeah. That’s
Laurie Burton [42:10]
it took the thought out of my brain. Time. It’s three o’clock and I didn’t have eaten lunch.
David Ralph [42:19]
Isn’t it been influence?
Laurie Burton [42:21]
Yes. Yes. It it time just goes right by. And the creativity flow. Oh my goodness. You have great energy. And you taught as well. That’s in presentation skills as well.
David Ralph [42:38]
Yeah, I used to do things like building rapport. And I used to do a lot of insurance and banking sort of technical stuff. But I used to do to sort of, I was interesting, I was watching one of your videos about how handshakes and I used to do a course based on that and how to get down to the light level with people so that you instantly Connect And that kind of NLP kind of training I used to find fascinating because you could see people couldn’t get it until they did. And then something would click. And I remember there was a girl that I used to manage many years ago and I won’t say her name in case she’s listening, but she hears his story. She know it’s about her. And I used to say to her, it’s not what you’re saying. It’s the way you’re saying it. And she was saying, No, I’m just being honest. And I was saying, No, you’re not. You’re not being honest. Because that person doesn’t want that honesty. Sometimes you have to throw a painted to be the right message for that person to receive, and she couldn’t get it couldn’t get it. And so subsequently, whenever she went through these jobs, even though she was great at the job, she didn’t get it because people didn’t like that kind of attitude that that blunt approach. And then about three years later, I met up with her and she said, I now know what you’re talking about. And I saw her career just flourish after that. And she was getting promotion, right in the centre, just because she she understood. But now, is it something that she had? Is it something that she she developed or whatever I don’t know. But certainly when she got it all come together and that takes us around full circle to our conversation about being authentic and paying the performance and saying the right thing and delivering the message. And when you get it all together, like you have Lori because I saw that video and I was really impressed by it. It just comes together and you think is she working? Or is she just having the time of her life? Is she playing? Or is she just earning money? by saying thank you very much. I just turned up and had a great day and Oh, you want to pay me as well? And that’s that’s kind of where we should be leading, isn’t it?
Laurie Burton [44:47]
And you just
everything I the things I teach people. You said she was blunt.
I start with people’s energetic
The way they present themselves energetically, and a lot of people are, their energy is either dead or it. It’s, it’s not, it’s not on the surface. And when we when we talk to people, I have an exercise called crossing the imaginary line and your energy. If if you’re even on the phone, there’s an imaginary line that exists between you and the person you’re speaking to. And it’s your job to energetically cross that line when you’re talking to them or selling something or giving a speech. You can’t stay behind it because it becomes boring if I go behind the line now, but if I come across the line, and I project it out, it gets people’s attention. And lets it causes them to start listening. And people are going to listen to everything you say anyway, because of our brains are always off to what I’m going to cook for dinner or whatever. Yeah, but energy is is the first thing I work on. And then passion and animation Is it reaching the end the vulnerability back to the vulnerability? Is it reaching the surface of your face if you say I loved being with you today is it in your eyes in your cheeks that’s what people it’s all about. This is all came from the method acting by the way. So and and I’ve encouraged people to speak from to help them succeed on on a more basic level is to come from a colour if you want to do your speech in a colour if you wanted to do it in pink. Hi, I’m Lori Burton, or if you wanted to do it and Brad Brown. Hi, I’m Lori Burton. You can colourize it. It sort of helps people get to the moment and in a in a quicker way. If I say that, have them just imagine a colour.
David Ralph [46:47]
I think I’m pinky yellow when you were saying that. I think I’m always kind of sort of slightly maniacal on edge somehow.
Unknown Speaker [46:57]
What colour is so Orange Orange Yeah yellow.
David Ralph [47:01]
Orange, aka with orange.
Laurie Burton [47:03]
Yes. Okay. Yeah, I get that it’s definitely animated and an upbeat and going it’s coming towards me it’s it’s coming through you but towards me it’s not being cut off at the mic.
David Ralph [47:19]
And you sent you sent me. Yeah, it is And is that something that really separates the real performers? If you look at these the A listers, and the ones that you you don’t even know why you like them, you just like them, and they just kind of light up a room they’ve got presence and they walk in, they, you know, the Sinatra’s of the world and the the Tom Hanks is and all those kind of people that you just think whether they’re doing a chat show or a performance or a film by nalli is is it Delta energy?
Laurie Burton [47:53]
Yes, the before we even speak people are reading the energetic level there Thinking, huh? Or Oh yeah. Oh, I can’t wait. It’s there. And that’s what people need to work on and to know do to stand in front of a mirror and really look at yourself and say, well, oh, let’s see, that’s pretty blow, how can I bring it out? It’s just kind of you have to learn to force it up and out in the beginning and but and to learn where it lives in you to bring it out. So a mirror really helps. It’s just like, I had people say yes, in front in front of an audience or in front of our video camera, do the word Yes. and project it out. We do three different levels of BS small, medium and large. And that causes them to, you know, really push on that, that level, that energetic level and they feel like they’re going over the top and of course they’re not.
David Ralph [48:58]
But that’s, that’s a great naki I’m just reflecting back on on the colours, for people that are starting to look their their new path there, they’re fed up in their situation or whatever, quite often, you can wake up and go, God is another day. But if you wake up and go, why I’m going to fit orange today and actually focus in on that. That’s going to set your store down quite well. But that’s going to be quite a powerful statement to do. First thing when you step out and you’re brushing your teeth looking in the mirror going, yes, I’m going to be pinky yellow today. and off you go. I think that’s a great way of starting your day.
Laurie Burton [49:34]
Yes, I do to it and then when you get up you can say before you brush your teeth, where am i right now looks kind of grey. Oh, and then and then imagine think of the colour and what it how it affects you. It’s the effect it has on you that then will affect other people. That’s the whole reason for the colour excess. I love
David Ralph [49:56]
I’ll tell you I’d really do I I’ve forgotten the structure of the show. I’ve just been listening to you. So what I’m going to do now I’m going to play the theme of the show because we are getting near the end, then this is words. But another great man said, Who could say a few powerful words in these time. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [50:14]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [50:49]
Great words, but it wasn’t like
Laurie Burton [50:52]
Oh, God, you know, he’s talking and I’m thinking about my journey and a kid me of a really nice kid of what I’ve done in my life. It made me feel really good.
David Ralph [51:07]
Love it. What was up? First of
Laurie Burton [51:10]
all, you’re gonna you’re this one. This one’s a killer. When I ran my hands down the face of a 50 foot whale.
David Ralph [51:19]
I wasn’t expecting. I’ll be honest.
Laurie Burton [51:23]
I did. I won’t go into the whole story, but I went on a journey with you. UCLA took a bunch of people down to be with the grey whales and excited San Ignacio goon in Baja California in 1970 1979. And they had encountered grey friendly whales at that time, they didn’t know what they were doing. But long story this whale we were in a Zodiac and the whale brought his head right out of the water and right in front of the zodiac. And, and the guy said, God, stop taking pictures and touch that whale lady. And I reached out and I ran my hands down the face of this whale, and it shuttered. And I shuddered. And I fell back into the Zodiac. And it was this is if I had touched God or had a spiritual, a spiritual moment, and everything was just white. When I fell back, I was laughing and smiling, and he sank back into the water. I didn’t stop smiling for 12 hours. And that dude in the next three days on our journey back to California, I realised that I was going to change my life. If that could have nobody else on the boat. There were 40 people touched a whale. And there very few people at that time who had ever done it, and I changed my life. I went home and I got a divorce and I started my business. And
I talked to the whale I can’t you know it how many people a 50 foot whale
did that and I’ve had very unusual experiences in my life
David Ralph [53:17]
and would you like to I know this couldn’t happen but imagine in my world it could. Would you like to go back and meet that well and go well, you don’t know what it for you it was just a connection but for me it was life changing.
Laurie Burton [53:31]
Oh, you have changed my you you have no idea what this felt like to be in touch with your your largeness, you’re coming from a world that I don’t even know and to bring our two worlds together. And to have you feel me and me feel you and know that it was right and it was meant to be and that you were giving me this gift. A new way of looking at my life. And I thank you for that. I think you with all my heart, because my life has been totally changed because of you.
David Ralph [54:12]
Brilliant story. Absolutely brilliant story and I can hear how emotional you are reflecting on it.
Laurie Burton [54:18]
Oh my god. See, it brings to the joy too because God, God gave me a gift, a messenger.
David Ralph [54:31]
And that’s the beauty of being lovey burden. You’re allowing yourself to be totally vulnerable on you.
Unknown Speaker [54:38]
Mm hmm. Yeah. Good.
David Ralph [54:43]
Yeah. I like yes. Well, to end of the show, unfortunately. And this is the part when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self, not to meet a while but meet your younger version. And if you could go back in time and meet the young Lori Burton. What He choose and what advice would you give when I’m going to play the theme tune? And when it played Europe, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Laurie Burton [55:32]
I’m 18. I’m privileged and spoiled is an only child. And I live in a bubble. And that bubble continues now for another 10 years. I thought I wanted to act i had to act. And so I came out of college in that bubble, and I went started Studying with this teacher that I’ve mentioned before, and he burst my bubble. And I learned that I had no idea what I had to offer the world. One day one night in class, he, he said to me, you know, Laurie, you’re about this deep and he held his his thumb and his forefinger apart about a half an inch. And I never forgot it. And it’s, it’s with me to this day that I was that deep, I was that shallow. And I worked for years on changing who I was and how I express, express myself how I felt about myself, I felt about myself. And so I went into acting, and I did a lot of work. And in that during that time, I I was contacted by a friend who was teaching at USC and she said And he said, I’m giving up my job here. I want to move on to directing. And you teach these classes and I said, What? I’m can’t do that. I, I couldn’t I don’t know how to do that. I’m, I’m an actor. I, I, I know about the method. And I can you know, I know, I guess I could. I was so afraid. Anyway, the long story short is that I was scared to death. And they did hire me at USC in the cinema school. And I taught there for 25 years. And me, me, I taught acting at USC for 25 years, this little actor who was about that deep. And I take such pride in that because I had no intention coming out of drama school, to go and be a teacher. I was going to be an actor, but then I found out that I could really teach and through that, I thought I can, I can take that to the corporate world as well. And I took it to the corporate world and it succeeded. And they got it. They really understood it. And there I was doing things I never imagined never wanted to had no desire to do, because I was an actor. But that acting, trans transitioned into becoming a teacher, filled with an actor’s point of view and the way I teach and present I it’s still like acting as it’s in there. It’s it’s joyfully filled with my talent as an actor. So there I am doing everything I ever imagined and wanted to do now, in this time and 2015 in April 2015
David Ralph [58:51]
Laurie Burton, how can our audience connect with you?
Laurie Burton [58:55]
They can reach me at Laurie Burton training.com and also on Facebook. Book, Twitter that, yes, that’s the best way to reach me.
David Ralph [59:07]
Okay, we’ll have all the links on the show notes. lonely. Thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Lori Burton, thank you so much.
Laurie Burton [59:26]
Thank you, David.
David Ralph [59:29]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcast is mastery.com.
Outro [59:46]
Now David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices including The two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.
