Welcome to the Steve Jobs based Join Up Dots Podcast Interview with Cathi Hargaden
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Introducing Cathi Hargaden
Today’s show brings Cathi Hargaden, onto the Join Up Dots Podcast interview who is an expert in a subject that most of us have heard about, but few of us totally understand.
Cathi has built a business around the ancient principle of Feng Shui.
Developed over 3,000 years ago in China, Feng Shui is a complex body of knowledge that reveals how to balance the energies of any given space.
This ultimately assures health and good fortune for people inhabiting it.
Cathi Hargaden can teach us such skills as How to improve our lives by clearing out our clutter and allowing space into our properties.
How to double our success by ensuring our internal and external compasses are aligned.
And if that doesn’t make you prick up your ears, then how about How to attract the vibrational energy of money, wealth, health and happiness into your life using the principles of Feng Shui.
How The Dots Joined Up For Cathi
Now I know that many of my listeners perhaps maybe dismissive of such stuff.
But this is going to be a fascinating conversation as to how Cathi Hargaden has built a business around a passion,.
A passion which has taken her from her home in the UK to teaching these principles across the world.
And now with both Wealthy Spaces and Healthy Spaces gaining more and more exposure and clients, since beginning over 15 years ago, she has certainly found the passion.
It lights her up inside and of course pays the bills too.
So when did this ancient principle first come into her life, and did she like so many people at first query its validity?
And did Cathi see an instant business opportunity or did the realisation that she should could gain income delay itself?
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Cathi Hargaden.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Cathi Hargaden as:
How she has two famous neighbours living close to her. Elton John and the other is The Queen of England.
How she has found that most people don’t want to change, and really don’t want others to change. So her advice “Don’t share your dreams with others.”
Why it is so important to get your five elements into synchronicity, Metal, Water, Wood, Fire, Earth work together to create a powerful force that cant be denied.
How Richard Branson struggles with the concept of Net and Gross, and requires help to work out what his earning from his businesses truly is.
How she started her first business at the age of eight when she would provide a car parking service outside the football grounds of Liverpool.
How To Connect With Cathi Hargaden
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Cathi Hargaden Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com. The premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro check us out now. podcasters mastery.com
when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:37]
Yes, hello there. Well, hello everywhere. Wherever you are sitting listening to Join Up Dots you might be laying down you might be in the bath you might be doing, you might be in the shower. A lot of people listen to us in the shower with these bluetooth headset things that you can have and get all wet and soapy and not electrocute yourself. So wherever you are, thank you very much for listening. It’s been a good week of shows this week we’ve gone in some different direction. And that the shows are getting stronger I think because the people have had more issues, I suppose. And certainly that reflects the amount of emails that I’ve been getting recently, where people are as much enthralled by the story as the nuggets of gold that we provide. Now, we’re going to provide nuggets of gold today because today’s show brings a lady who is an expert in a subject that most of us might have heard about, but few of us totally understand she’s built a business around the ancient principle of feng shui developed over 3000 years ago in China. Feng Shui is a complex body of knowledge that reveals how to balance the energies of any given space to ensure health and good fortune for people inhabiting it. She can teach us such skills as how to improve our lives by clearing out our clutter and allowing space into our properties out to double our success by ensuring our internal and external competencies are aligned. We talk about the internal compass a lot on this show, and if it doesn’t make you pick up you is when How about how to attract the vibrational energy of a month. wealth, health and happiness into your life using the principles of things right. Now I know that many of my listeners perhaps may be dismissive of such talk. But this is going to be a fascinating conversation as to how one lady can build a business around a passion, which has taken her from her home in the UK to teaching these principles across the world. And now we both wealthy spaces and healthy spaces, gaining more and more exposure and clients since beginning over 15 years ago, she certainly found the passion that lights up inside and of course, pays the bills too. So when did this ancient principle first come into our life? And did you like so many people at first query its validity. And did you see an instant business opportunity or did the realisation that she could gain income the lightsail Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start Join Up Dots with the one and only Cathi Hargaden. How are you happy?
Cathi Hargarden [2:51]
I’m fine. Thanks, David. Thanks for having me.
David Ralph [2:53]
It’s lovely. And I always say this when there’s a weird surname did I do that? Right. I wrote it phonetically and I had it in front of me is that How you do it?
Hargarden. Don’t worry. Every day people mispronounce it.
I was practising as well I had in front of me and I thought how good then it’s like a garden without
Unknown Speaker [3:17]
David Ralph [3:18]
So are you? Well, you don’t sound Norwegian. So are you Norwegian by marriage or Norwegian by birth?
Cathi Hargarden [3:24]
Yes, ancestry the Norwegian settled on the west coast of Ireland, I’m Irish and French heritage, Irish and Irish and French because the French also came from the north of France and settled in southern Ireland and a couple of hundred 300 years ago, so Ireland’s quite a interesting place because it’s got lots of Spanish and French and Norwegian and supposed to be some Indian as well. So I had an interesting culture.
David Ralph [4:00]
You at the moment, I understand are sort of a neighbour of the Queen of England. You’re down in world, the Queen of England and elton john. I don’t know which one is what. But now
Cathi Hargarden [4:13]
I’ve got two queens one is five minutes away from me and the other is 10 minutes.
David Ralph [4:18]
So who lives closer? Elton? All the queen, elton john. And do you see him popping around?
Cathi Hargarden [4:26]
I know he’s had a few parties there, but I haven’t I think he comes in and out on the helicopter a lot of the time. So showing
David Ralph [4:35]
up in the air just showing off.
Cathi Hargarden [4:38]
I passed the grounds and they are quite large, but it’s well when I first moved here, they the local people said Oh, Did you know Did you know? elton john, elton john was listening to you. And I said, Well, does elton john know that? Kathy Holden lives near him? Well,
that’s the biggest thing around Yeah. Yeah, we’re all important in our own different ways. course we are.
David Ralph [5:03]
And you just haven’t got a back catalogue of about 400 million songs. But other than that we were exactly the same. So let’s cut to your businesses. I do find it fascinating. And actually, when I was doing this introduction, I suddenly started to think, have I actually personally met you because I was in an office maybe five or 10 years ago? Well, I used to work in Southend on sea and we had a lady who came in who was an expert in Finnish way Have you ever have you ever been down in South End and say have you done any of you
Cathi Hargaden [5:37]
think I have? No and I’m that I was in some I think I was in Manchester them because I’ve worked all over the country actually. So but I haven’t gone to Southend on sea ever.
David Ralph [5:51]
So good place to come you you come down here and we’ll we’ll take you on donkey boys and everything. That’s what you want. So So how did it come about in your life because this is a principle that been around for 3000 years ago, you know, forever in a day and it is one of those things that pretty much everyone kind of knows we know the name, but we don’t know much about it. So did it come into you by dribs and drabs? Did you go and study it? Did it sort of engulf you? How did it happen?
Cathi Hargaden [6:17]
Well, it’s it’s, it’s obviously been kind of trivialised. By the time it gets down to the press. It’s often trivialise, but what people don’t realise is that the behind aspect of it is that, as you said, it’s an ancient philosophy. And it comes from the comes from China, but actually the it’s a universal principle anyway, about space, and, and, and the vibration of that space. And it comes from a book called The Book of changes known as the eaching. And it’s a fascinating book because it actually is telling us that, you know, throughout our lives and throughout our days, that you know, things are changing all the time that you know, if you want to grab hold of a moment and stay still, it’s very difficult to do that because, you know, time and the universe consumes us, we don’t consume it. So ryles we try to control everything in our lives so that we feel safe. Actually, we are being done to, as opposed to us being in charge of the universe. And so I mean, that’s quite a high esoteric, spiritual perspective, but it does come from it’s quite a spiritual book anyway. And it’s about questioning, you know, your your, your energy, your own personal life, and how things evolve throughout time.
David Ralph [7:46]
So So are you saying just just jumping in there? Are you saying that basically we are being battered left, right and centre by the universe. And so it’s up to us to find a natural way to sort of get through to To the life we want, because I always used to use a phrase when people used to say, oh, things are easy for you. things always go your way. And I used to say, yeah, I’m like a twig on the mighty stream of life. And I used to just kind of naturally go with the flow. Is that the kind of finish way principal?
Cathi Hargaden [8:15]
I think you’re right there. David. Yes. I think that, you know, so many of us, I mean, we’re all guilty of trying to control circumstances and and that’s just perfectly a human thing to want to do. But like you say that if you’re more if you’re very still, and you’re more aware of what’s around you, then you can read the signs and unrealized that going with the flow is more advantageous than actually being a King Canute and holding back the flow in your life. And I’m because that’s where a lot of the misery is created, is that when we try to encapsulate things and hold and hold them for a long, long time, and Go with the flow and not have any ability to be adaptable or resilient, then that’s when, you know, we get stuck. Then we become frozen in time.
David Ralph [9:12]
Well, one of the things that comes up time and time again on this show, Cathy is that people say, when success hit them, was when they realise that they were doing things the hard way. And when they changed their focus on finding the easy route, then things started going their way and basically success came easier to them when when they were just sort of almost following the route of water as I saw say, you know, it finds its natural way through it is that once again up, although you say that a press trivialise face, I think there’s huge resonance with every single conversation that I’ve had. They may not be using the terms bench way but yes, certainly aware of being still there. certainly aware of disconnecting there. certainly aware of meditation and sort of reflecting all those kinds of things. So it’s out there, isn’t it that the sort of the movers and shakers kind of understand this, even if I haven’t studied it, but obviously the press look at it as a bit whoo, whoo.
Cathi Hargaden [10:15]
Well, I mean, I, I was involved in this. And you ask the question, how did I get involved with over 20 years ago, and it was based in Manchester. And I was already teaching things like a Roma therapy massage when nobody else was doing it. And as you can imagine, you know, you were the Wicked Witch of the West because it was a very Whoo, yeah. And now it’s all that training is integral to most colleges of further education. And I ended up teaching it at the university level as well. But at the same time, I was doing that and I it was brought to my notice I started meditating then, and it was brought to my notice by a colleague she made made a call comment about where I was living and it was very favourable, and she wants to know if I, if I understood the principles of Fung Shui because it was very Fung Shui. And I said no. And so I went off and found out about it. And I just got hooked on it because it encompassed everything that I love about creativity, colour, does it, shape sound, a rumour, orientation, spirituality, philosophy, architecture, mathematics, which I was never into at all. But he taught me into that world of mathematics and geometry, sacred geometry. And it just got it became like a spider’s web. I thought I can’t take any more of this knowledge, it was just getting bigger and bigger and bigger culture, philosophy and different philosophies behind different cultures and various religions and why they, they have certain rituals are all they all come back to the similar principle of going with flow and creating a space that has a vibration that supports the inhabitants. But then I have more recently switched from not just external space. But you know, what makes up people’s environments is also their internal functionally what’s flowing inside of them. And because that often creates the vibration of a house or business, you know yourself, you’ve been into lots of offices or workplaces, and its people themselves, how they’re feeling inside that actually creates the energy of that space. And wherever I’ve worked up and down the country, and I’ve been teaching meditation visualisation, and how that actually impacts upon the workforce immediately, creating a better, better productivity and under is to know around feeling of harmony for the people in that workspace.
David Ralph [13:05]
Now I get a lot of emails because obviously on the show, we’re talking about mindset, we’re talking about taking action, taking imperfect action and getting going. And I get a lot of emails. And more often than not, they will say, I’m finding it very hard to follow your advice, because of the environment I’m surrounded myself with, where the people sitting next to us are just misery, Misery, guts, and then they don’t want to be there. And I kind of almost want to stop anyone else doing something good as well. Do you? Do you see that a lot? Is that one of the problems that you have to encounter time and time again?
Cathi Hargaden [13:42]
Well, once again, it comes back to this aspect of change. Most people don’t want to change and they don’t like other people. When they did, they started change. And one of the lessons that I’ve learned and it’s a very hard lesson for me because I’m also health professional, but I’ve also facilitated people. rehab, rehabilitate themselves. And the thing is that you can’t drag people. You can bring the horse to the trough, but you can’t force them to drink. So to actually try and make people change, and when they’re not actually wanting to is, is actually using your own resources. And this is something I’ve learned from a whole lifetime of trying to get people to a different space in themselves and a different place when they clearly don’t want to because they’re more invested in being negative.
David Ralph [14:33]
Yeah, but you want to change base the people around raise the dead, they’re finding it hard to go, I want to do something amazing when everybody else is saying, What’s the point? You’re gonna be here in four years time, this is what you do and they find that outside environment that people
Cathi Hargaden [14:52]
say, Yeah, I understand what you say. Their first particle is not to actually talk about the channel. That they want in their lives. Because soon as somebody hate is that already that that negative vibration is going to impact upon that your, your listeners focus on wanting to make the changes that they want to make. So first of all, rather than starting to talk about what the change they want to me, just go and do it. Second of all, I’m doing an amazing exercise. It’s been going on now for seven months with somebody in Cyprus. And we’re focusing on on changing the our energy, our own individual energy. And when you start to change the vibration from where you as a me is operating, then those people who are defeatist or, or don’t support your change or your focus, they won’t be around in your environment because your heart You’re hovering from a different vibration within yourself. You start to let go those kind of people on find yourself in a different environment with different kinds of energy. So it’s not a case of physically moving or, or moving three steps, the left or three steps the right, it’s when you focus on improving your own inner vibration because what we’re talking about here is what what Tesla Nikola Tesla was talking about that everything can creation or in the universe is about energy, vibration and frequency. So, if you just take those three words, if you shift your energy, frequency and vibration within yourself, then you start to attract a different kind of life, a different kind of people and the people who, who have been blocking you previously they will fall away. They may, you may have to have an argument with them. You may not they may not they certainly just kind of disappear and so really didn’t Responsibility is for us as individuals to to shift our own inner energy. And that’s hard even for me to say because if you think oh, I want to, I want to blame other people or I want to blame my environment, but ultimately you are your environment. You are your environment is fascinating base because a Tesla,
David Ralph [17:21]
I’d never heard of him until I started doing a show. And I’m finding out about him more and more he’s to do with scholar energy, and there’s all of the
Cathi Hargaden [17:30]
fantastic is this guy.
David Ralph [17:31]
Yeah. And I had a bloke on the show, Episode 292, called Tom Palladino, who is learning how to Oh, he hasn’t learned he already knows how to actually channel scholar energy as a power source and he can hold a light bulb and it just glows up in front of him. And a lot of people kind of dismissive of it, and he knows that people are dismissive, so he’s just biding his time and he’s, he’s going to bring this to the fore. But what comes out of this is It’s an opening of your mindset, what I’ve always been quite an open minded person. So if somebody talks to me about something, even if I don’t understand it, I will go. Yeah, that’s quite interesting. But I get a lot of emails from people that go, Well, that was just madness. And I saw come back to him ago. How do you know It’s madness? Where does madness stop and genius star? How do people you know, close themselves down from things that we’re not aware of? It’s just out there. And this kind of energy business now seems to be in my life constantly and more and more people are talking about it as, as a way forward, touching in with being in the flow. Now that is one thing that people understand being in the zone when sportsmen are in the zone, and I can’t miss a single shot and everything’s going their way. But it all ties in, doesn’t it? It ties into what you’re teaching on a daily basis.
Cathi Hargaden [18:50]
Well, the the premise from which finish way is based is an understanding of the five elements and those five elements of very much related to what you’re saying about the flow, you’ve heard the expression being in your own element. So those five elements are water, wood, metal, earth, and fire. And if you think about it, each of those elements, they’ve, they’re represented by different colour, a different shape, a different feeling, a different attitude, you can even run your own nutritional balance from understanding the five elements. And so, what people really, you know, what people are after is some kind of balance in their lives. And when the pendulum swings keeps on swinging from one extreme to another, then, you know, it’s that balance that they crave or even a neutrality within themselves, so that they so that they can operate and feel feel at one with themselves and the rest of the high universe and just be and so going back to the health space, managing your space, is that it’s essential to have a little bit Those five elements within your own environment. Because each of those elements give off a different energy, we’re talking about the frequency, the vibration, you were talking about with with Nikola Tesla. So for example, fire energy is but quite often this fire is something that’s very passionate and it’s all about action. Earth is very still and kind of containing, and the metal element is all about the mind, how the mind thinks water element is the emotions, how deep or superficial are there. And the water element is what we were talking about at the beginning of this talk, is the adaptability. When the trees blow in the wind, they go from one side to the next. And I think that’s a huge quality to have in life is the ability to know when to adapt, and when to branch out into other areas of work other areas of life
David Ralph [20:59]
to do You’ve taught me something near caffee, because I was a financial trainer. And I worked in this office where we had five interview rooms. And they were called fire, wood, water and the other. And the one that I had to train in all the time was the metal room. And I had no idea but that was about the mind. And it kind of makes sense now. And I used to spend days and days and weeks and months in the metal room training people. So it is interesting that it’s sort of coming together.
Cathi Hargaden [21:27]
I just said,
Well, these are the dots that I actually draw these five elements as circles. And this might help your listeners actually for anybody, you just want to move on with success, whether it be wealth, whether it be health, but everything starts in line. So that’s a metal element. So you know, let’s say for example, your listeners want to say and they want to start a business. Well all, all businesses start with a great idea. So metal is very important. So you start off with metal yet you haven’t Isn’t it you have an idea, then you move on metal feed water. So water, your business idea is floated. And as you know, we float the stock on the stock market. So the hell we use these idioms in our language, float the idea, then when you float the idea, that means you might kind of consult somebody about it, do you think this is a good idea is the capacity and the market you know, etc, then you grow it. So the wood element is like a tree, it grows, and you do a bit of research and you may branch out here and you may branch out there. So now you’ve got the idea which is metal, you floated the idea of bathwater, you’ve thrown it, which is good. And now you’ve got to take action, which is red, which is the fire element. So you take action and this is where a lot of people fall down. They don’t take action for whatever reason. And then you have to ask yourself, why is everybody this morning on the tubes, right across the world going to work? What is it that is going to manifest other results of working? Well, usually it’s production. Usually it’s the money. It’s not always other aspects as well. But people have to pay the basics like the bills, but somewhere in a lot of people, not everyone, they have a dream of where they want to go, they’ve got goals. So from the action, they take the fire, the when the fire is all all consumed, you’ve done all your action, people want some something to show for it, which is the earth element. So they usually want out of the hard work and over many years, they want a house, they want a car, they want the base, you know, these are becoming basics these days, certainly in England. So these are the things that pizza, this is the earth This is the earth element, something that’s tangible, something that they can see for all their hard work. And that when people have gained that they kind of dislike you know yourself. If you You’re trying to get something and once you get it, you kind of relax a bit, don’t you think, at last, I’ve got this now and you start to relax. And it’s in that moment when you relax, because you’re so relaxed, then the Metallo and comes back. And the whole process starts again. Because then you sometimes people get the best ideas when they’re on holiday or when they’re relaxing, the mind is at rest. That’s when the ideas come in. It’s not when you’re stressed on 10. Because
David Ralph [24:29]
Because I get great ideas, and I actually relax when I can’t get something. I can be working towards something. And I used to feel this in the office when I used to work in the office used to get a load of work thrown at you. And you used to think right, I gotta get that work done. And then I used to throw more at you, and you think I’m never gonna get this done and you got more and more stressed and stressed and then it got more and more. And when it got to that point, you thought I can’t do this. This is just stupid. And I used to relax at that point of it. Wow. Go to hell. And I find at that moment, more often than not when I’ve been battling against something, and I go, I can’t do it. That’s when I suddenly come up with the idea of how to do it a better way. But I’m so engulfed in that just get it done, get it done, get it done, I need to have that moment of reflection. And it normally comes when I just switch off from it.
Cathi Hargaden [25:17]
But what you’re describing there, David is a sense of letting go which ties into with the foolish way concept that especially one of the first particles for lots of people are being over 1000 homes. And they’re not all to do with function, a lot of them to do also with being a health professional, is that people can’t let go of their clutter. They can’t let go of the past. We’ve all got that in us. And you know, what you’re doing there, you’re saying you’re letting go of your struggle, which is what you’re asking before about your listeners saying, you know, that that they struggle and struggle, and then when they finally let go, they discover an easier way of doing things. And because and then they become in the flow and so seeing that When I take on the French Way, whenever I’m teaching, or people invite me to their home, is that the things people aren’t let go of? What is blocking them? You know, so if there’s any obstructions in the corridors or, you know, inevitably, especially some of the audience here are in the States or Australia. I’ve been out there I’ve lived out the, you know, they haven’t. Often they have a garriage, just full of the past. And then they wonder why their life isn’t flowing because energy is energy. And if it’s all stuck and blocked, and frozen over many years, then where’s the energy going to flow?
David Ralph [26:43]
I find this. I do because in my own life, I I’m very futuristic and like my number one key strength is futuristic, and I don’t keep anything of the past. I throw it all away. I just don’t see any point in keeping anything and if you look at my website, I sleep with my wife. on her side, she is clutter Central. And on my side, there’s nothing. And I made that mistake. And I will learn and this is a great bit of advice for all the men out there. But if you decide to declutter your bedroom, your wife is just going to grow into it. So don’t don’t worry about clearing up spaces, she just going to take every area of it, but I don’t have anything in my life and in my recording studio is is really basic and clean. is a people likely to actually have these principles kind of naturally in boom, and when they pick up the information that you give them. I think I’ve been doing this for years, always. It’s something that you do need to actually learn to really bring it to the fore.
Cathi Hargaden [27:45]
I think it’s something people learn. I think it’s becoming a word. Most people know they haven’t got what I’m talking about, and that’s why they need the assistance and the help. And I’m not just saying that they need me but it’s very apparent that Like even all of us, we can’t see the back of our heads. And often when you bring in a consultant in any walk of life, it’s more like you’re looking at a pair of objective pair of objective eyes, who can take you can see things for exactly what they are. So some people, you know, don’t realise that all the clutter. And it’s not just clutter. The other thing is, and this is not the more esoteric side of crocheting, which I do focus on a lot. And it’s coming back to what we started talking about it the vibration of a place. Now people like Google and Apple, and Selfridges and john knows, all they all use these principles of creating a feeling and you can create a feeling by using the visible signs like the colours and the shapes. But believe it or not, but 90% of how people live their lives is based not on the visible On the invisible, so most of us are operating our lives, not on what we see around us, but purely from something more not only internal, but what’s around us that invisible. So I’m releasing back once again to this vibrational energy that is in the space in the jaw setting. Now I’m an answer thing, but we can’t see. So how does that go? Well, there’s quite a lot of people done research on and water, water holds memory. So what was it got to do with what I’m talking about, but water is moisture in the atmosphere and water held memory and we have thoughts which are also energy. Then imagine this that all thoughts which create a vibration are going into the atmosphere and they’re hanging in the atmosphere in the form of moisture. Because water hose memory, so you know yourself. If you want to A place and as a bad feeling, maybe someone’s had an argument. Maybe there’s some bad news code when you walk in if you if you’re quite open you can actually feel something’s gone wrong here. Yeah, something’s not right now I’ve been in places like Zanzibar where the slaves were kept before they departed from the coast to the states or even to another cool event that’s where a lot of them went as well. And you’re going to got to go into these places you can feel you can feel it India, I’ve been to where the convicts were imprisoned in the van demons land now nervous Tasmania and southern Australia. We go into the present and you can feel the feeling there. And I’m sure we get the same feeling in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where you know, these people have been imprisoned and the thoughts and the feelings have been completely stifled and, and and it’s absorbed by the bricks and by the atmosphere. Likewise, Know you go into other places, maybe nurseries, where the kids are happy and running around, and you get a lighter energy. So we can’t see this, but we can feel it. And this makes all the difference to whether somebody would buy a property or not buy a property. So to cleanse, to cleanse that space is absolutely paramount. And this is the this is the manifestation of many of the more pagan cultures as well as the more I don’t want to call them primitive, but the like the native Indian cultures, we would never ever go into a new building or even a piece of land until they had done a little ceremony to cleanse it. And it’s not just that the the native Indians that especially in Asia and the Far East so for example, this is 55,002 bedroom flats going to be built in central London. And most of the people buying that are going to be charming, because they do not want to buy old buildings, because they know that there are the spirits left behind from the ancestors of those people who lived in that building. So they want brand new buildings to live in.
David Ralph [32:21]
Let’s play some words. Now. It’s gonna take her slightly away from Finnish way and more into you personally. This is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [32:29]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [32:55]
Do you buy into those words? Kathy? Did you take a chance and doing what you love or has it Just found you.
Cathi Hargaden [33:03]
Well, this the franchise certainly found me. But I think it’s not. It’s not a coincidence or such because I’ve always been an entrepreneur, but I didn’t know it. And my dad also was in and out of work throughout my life growing up. And, I mean, he was, he was, you know, close. He had scaled unethical by that but and the backdrop of that was that he was Irish and at the time, and coming down from the quarter in in London, and they weren’t Welcome to the Irish. So, you know, he was in and out of work and, and, you know, this was, this, this was a huge was a huge influence on my life ready because by the age of eight, I had my own business and there was times growing up He come to me and say please, can you lend me five pounds? So what did you do? Okay, so the age of eight, as I was brought up into the pool, and and from a part of Liverpool where both of the football stadiums are 510 minutes walking distance. So what used to happen in the 60s is that the fans used to park in the, in the, in the street, and all the kids would say could be Magikarp Lisa, and there was often a fight for territory. You know, so it was very new york orientated so you have to fight for your territory. This was your space, any cars you came into this space, we’re going to be your so basically I finally won the third of the third of the street. The competition was the guys you know. And so when the guy when the grownups the adults can pop their calls, they will point their finger at me No, she’s minding uncle and then they would go off and watch the football match and then I gave in water TV and and then when it was time to go and see that the punters that go out and say, you know, they they would pay me 10 pounds or something like that, that that that it felt like hundred pounds. And I had a funny story that one time there was a football match in the evening. And there was a sports car at the bottom of the street. And this guy said yes, I could find his card and when he came out, he came back and he said with my aerial, I thought Ariel I thought what? I didn’t even know what I never was. And I said I don’t know where your area is. But where’s my mommy? I was so so ruthless but for for you know, for in business. You know, I don’t care if I haven’t provided the service with is my money. But that was a huge lesson for me. Because after that I used to say to all the adults and it was usually tend to be men watching the football. I used to say, Oh sir, sir, can you put your arrow down because sometimes people snap. Well, they love that little bit of USP unique selling point. They loved it. So then they started by me presents and gifts. And it was a fruit for a child of age, right up to the age of 13 was a fantastic learning experience. And then I left that age of 30 and started a market stall selling fancy goods and jewellery in a central Liverpool, and famous market. And my goodness me, I couldn’t think of a better training and move over MBA, this was one of the best
training and all about communication, negotiation, buying and selling protection. And I could go on and on persistence, so when you’re sitting there in the winter in an exposed Markets Don’t you know that you learn the art of Zen you learn the Also, I’m not we’re not earning much money here, but we’ve gotta persevere and keep going. And it was a dangerous area. So I had to protect myself and my mother. And so any little savings, we had any little income we made, there was always problems wanting to steal. And I learned to negotiate with adults about prices of jewellery. I even tried to bypass the wholesalers and wrote letters to in now, you got to remember, these are the days was no internet. This is like a mail post, which takes 10 days to get it India, Thailand and Hong Kong, you know, but I was writing letters to the manufacturers seeing if they would provide me with volume, volumes of love beads, choker beads and I’ve got Funny story for you gonna love this go for it. I was I was 13 at the time and I was selling I was I was. I was alongside my mom but we’re both like business partners. And we were buying jewellery from the wholesalers and we had to decide what colours were going to be best and what would sell and pop up do the profit. profit loss of me. I totally I got CSE grade. CSE grade five. David in maths.
David Ralph [38:30]
You weren’t good.
Cathi Hargaden [38:31]
So I was no good at math, but I could tell the difference between loss and profit. Yeah. And compound interest is the only thing I ever understood in math, which is
David Ralph [38:39]
Richard Branson. Richard Branson. Well, can’t get gross in there. He really struggles with it.
Cathi Hargaden [38:44]
Yes, I heard. I heard that. But I knew all about that. I’m only ever interested in that, you know, and profit. Anyway. So I was 13 I was at school and I was sitting at the bottom those desks for the listeners. We had desk but you’re lifted up lit. So I lifted up the lid and I hung gold choker beads, necklaces, and all of those beads from the desk. And all the girls were around me or you know how much of these how much of these are some watsu and the teacher walked in she said what are you doing at the back of the classroom call here and do what you’ve got a pic with you. Sure What’s that in your hand? As I look beatless he said, he said, How much have you been selling them here for? I said 20 pants, which tells you about the time Yeah, 20 pence. She said I buy a purse. So you know that was I don’t forget that. But it was it was, you know, so. So basically becoming financially independent was very important for me because my father and mother were Motherland and he was subjected to the prejudice. The Economics of the time. I’m so he was in work out of work in work out of work. But for myself, I’ve always been financially flowing ever since the age of age.
David Ralph [40:12]
So So have you taken a risk that that’s the key thing, because what you’ve done here, and it’s a fascinating concept, because so many people have a knowledge base, but they don’t believe that they can turn it into a business and what you’ve done is taken something that most people could research and and become quite knowledgeable on it, but you’ve taken it to the next step. Did you have those kinds of doubts when you feel? It’s all right, no, no knowing this stuff, but who’s gonna pay for it?
Cathi Hargaden [40:40]
No, not really. It’s organic. It was an organic and it’s still growing. It’s a I got a sense, but it’s going to grow into something that I haven’t even visualised. Yeah, I think there’s going to be a huge huge cry and demand for for actually resonating, underlying people how they feel inside with how they can project that on the outside. And my mantra at the moment is meditation, not medication. because more and more people are consuming pharmaceuticals, which are creating problems for them and their loved ones, were in essence, creating an environment for themselves, internally as well as externally, is actually giving power back to themselves. The problem is a lot of the time is people want other people to be responsible for them. And the day that you take responsibility for yourself, is the day that power is born within you.
David Ralph [41:38]
And you’ve always done as you say, move over MBA, you were somebody that took control at a very early age, didn’t you?
Cathi Hargaden [41:45]
Yeah, yeah, I have. But I think you know, once again, it’s all about balance as well. I was talking about the eaching at the beginning, is that something I’m going to say later on in the show, which is which also kind of contradicts what I’m saying now. Not is, you know, don’t try and control everything either because if you try and control everything you you know, and this is probably my my feeling is that you’re not in charge. You know, we can be responsible for ourselves but the bigger picture we’re not always in charge. So sometimes you have to learn to let go and let the flow of life take you on a river like one of those houseboats I was on in India last year, the house got let let your house food take you where the river wants to take you. And it might just be one of those mystical magical tools.
David Ralph [42:36]
So so my my sprays I’ve used for years and years about being a twig on the mighty stream of life. It’s quite profound, I feel happy.
Cathi Hargaden [42:47]
Never is that it is and, you know, I think it’s getting a little bit of both having a vision of where you’d like to go. So for example, I should be in Canada by now. That’s where I was heading. And, you know, I met some people They turned me left, then they turned me right. And I’m sitting in Windsor. I don’t know why I’m here. But I know that my twig is taking me somewhere else. And I think that, you know, I’m because of that, you know, I’ve led a very multifaceted life because of it. And I’m quite a rich and rich in life, but you referring back to a risk, that’s the risk I’ve taken, that I haven’t LED, I have led an ordinary life, I actually have gone against what everyone else has done and gone on to do. And I I’ve taken huge risks with time huge risks, and, you know, the old way or was it worth it? I don’t know. You know, but I mean, I think you’ve just got to see where we’re, we’re enjoying the moment now. That’s all because all we’ve ever got anyway, is the moment to enjoy the moment. You know, whether it’s raining Or shining? Wherever you do, be be present. I guess that’s what the foolish way as well as be present. Be aware of where you are. What have you got? What have you got on your walls? Is it reflecting back to you where you want to go? How you want to feel? Because the other side of this, David is that and this is very important, and it may sound a little bit David a fish, but the fact is, is that people well, he’s still there. He’s still there. And basically a lot of the stuff that he was actually talking about has now manifested. But one of the things that I am very resonating with the things that he has said, is that remember that we are being pummelling every minute of the day, with messages through colour, advertising, billboards, denar the internet, constantly we’re being our minds are being you know, like George Well said, Our minds are being taken over by what we think is most important for us to lead a life. of, of that’s extraordinary. And unfortunately, people don’t expect that much. So that there’s a limitation going on mentally. And there’s a limitation. We have been trained to think small, instead of thinking huge and big. And that comes back to not just the feudalistic system in England, but you don’t get it as much in the states it because I’ve lived there. I went to university in Santa Barbara. But over in America, they’ve got different blockages. They’ve got different blocks for different people based on where they come from, possibly their colour, possibly their, that their ancestry. And Australia, it’s the same that there’s always either a class distinction or a racial distinction that actually limited People in their humanity, it limits them in what is possible. And it’s really important to think outside the box and not be not be controlled by how the the, the people in the power have control over you. People think Oh no, no, nobody’s in control with me. But think about it. Where did you get your thoughts from widget and I can see in my upbringing definitely self limitations, self limitations and aspirations are high but often they can be knocked over very easily by the lack of opportunity. And some of the things I’ve said in other interviews is that I went to an inner city school in the poor. And it was depressing, but I didn’t know that as a kid. I didn’t. Actually I did, but I didn’t want to voice it. And then I got an opportunity to go to a suburb school conference school and my goodness, needed We’re a difference in environment. Oh my goodness, not only a difference in what I see, and what I feel in terms of flowers and, and beautiful trees in the suburb. And then in the inside in a city, nothing but concrete and lack of vegetation, and big billboard, and bull. We’re a big difference in the children in terms of aspiration, what a big difference in confidence. And yet the inner city kids have great personality, but there was nowhere to follow. And it wasn’t till I was given a bridge to walk into another world where the kids were, were spoon fed. And they were, they were very confident.
Very inspirational. They would go places, you know, and it was all taken for granted because I didn’t know anything else. So that really fork in the in the rude is where is the is the basis of Why talk about joining up the dots is how I come to be involved in functional, because I realised the power of environments and how they can either nurturing or negate you. Having said that, I do also believe that your own internal function a environment must be flourishing must be fed like a garden. Because how many of us have come out of the ghetto have come out of the innocence he is with amazing, amazing qualities of writing, acting, singing, we’ve created basic things we’ve we’ve succeeded and in many different ways, and, and even as Welcome back to The Beatles, you know, even three of those Beatles lived in quite quite auspicious surroundings. There was only one that lived in a very deprived area. You know,
David Ralph [48:59]
I I finds it fascinating as you saying, I’m going to play the words of Steve Jobs in a moment, which is the theme of the whole show. But it is true. It’s it’s the environment, but it’s your projected environment. I was listening to a guy called Jeff Thompson, who is, um, he’s an amazing guy. And he was a guest on the show. And I was sort of dabbling around in iTunes, and I realised that he had a podcast. So I started listening to it. And what he was saying was that we all only work within the environment that we believe is there. And we need to expand our minds to move on. And he came up with this kind of little story. I don’t know if he’s developers, where you imagine you’re sitting in a warehouse and it’s pitch black, and you’re starving and you don’t know where to go. So you’re just sitting there, and then somebody flicks a packet of matches to you and you light a match. And then you look across and you can see there’s a fridge. So you sort of go across and when you open it up in that you realise there’s food in there. Well, that foods always been there, but you just didn’t know it was there. So now you think Well, what’s the point in starving I Might as well, cat start eating. And as you start eating, you realise that the light of the fridge shines across the room and then you see a door. And then you think, Oh, I didn’t know that door was there, I thought I was trapped. So you go over there and you open it. And it’s all about expanding our environments to move into areas that we just couldn’t perceive were there. They’re there all the time. But it’s our belief that we can actually make it work for us actually comes together. Does. Does that make sense? Kathy?
Cathi Hargaden [50:26]
I think it’s a fantastic analogy. And I really would endorse it. And I might even go one step further. And if you think that you’re sitting for any of your listeners, if you think that you’re sitting in a warehouse, and it’s pitch black, as it matches on the fridge, how about this both? What if there is something far bigger outside of your house? That means that you are beyond your mind that you think you really are is not where it is. There’s something far bigger, beyond joy and You are integrally part of that. So that you can go is even more, you know, but I think that’s a great analogy. And I would certainly resonate with that. And if you go with that,
David Ralph [51:11]
it’s quite obvious, isn’t it? If you’re in a room, you know that there’s going to be an outside, you know, you don’t know what, you’re trapped. But you know, isn’t it? Oh,
yeah. It’s totally different, isn’t it? We kind of think, oh, for me, that’s for other people. There’s all these reasons why there’s no doors. But of course, you just open the door and you walk out and then you find something else and you move along. And
Cathi Hargaden [51:35]
I think that, you know, the reason why we think it’s not for us is that we have been conditioned also, by certain systems within our culture’s, to not believe that that is for us that we can’t have two great things in life. And that’s why focusing on your own vibrational energy will actually you can actually transcend those limited beliefs.
David Ralph [52:00]
Well, that’s why I created this show so that after 400 episodes, hopefully, if you’ve listened to at least 10% of them, you’ll realise that every single person had those doubts and every single person managed by clawing them, but their mind into a different direction to build the life they want. And there’s no given path. And we all start as babies. It’s just the decisions we make and the conditioning, but we can break that we can break it all down, we can start again. And it’s interesting, actually, with this show, I wasn’t going to expect to tell you this, but that the show lives and dies on its audience. And so I had built up a very nice audience, and I was quite comfortable and it was ticking along and people going, Oh, you’re really, really successful. And I started to think to myself,
Cathi Hargaden [52:43]
Yeah, I am.
David Ralph [52:44]
But then I thought to myself, well, maybe I could be more successful. Maybe there’s a different way of doing this. And I was saying, No, you’re obviously at the peak now. And I was thinking, no, I’m gonna see if I can break it. So I broke my system and I started fiddling around with SEO and different things to see if I could reduce the listeners I was getting. And I did. And then I started playing around with it. And then suddenly, I’m getting even more of an before. And it’s all that point of finding the easy way through, we’re coming back to that, again, finding the way that actually works for you not to be boxed in by what people are telling you is success. You create your own success, and you go again, and sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. But more often than not, if you do enough things it does. And funnily enough when I got to this peak of my audience, and I fiddled around with different things, and it plummeted, I couldn’t get it back. And I was thinking, oh my god, what have I done and but then little by little, it’s called back to a higher position than before so we can do everything and
Cathi Hargaden [53:48]
it’s like breathing. You know, you exhale, you breathe in, you breathe out. So you know, it’s like a living a living, breathing mass and so you shrink a little bit But then you, you know, you take a deep breath in and you expand. So, and each time, you know you’re, you’re growing and growing.
David Ralph [54:09]
Absolutely. And then let’s, let’s bring on the theme of the whole show, this show could go on for about three hours, I’m having a great time. This is the words of Steve Jobs. He said this over 10 years ago, we play it every day. And I’m gonna do again, Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [54:22]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path and that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [54:58]
Does it make all the difference to you Kathy?
Cathi Hargaden [55:01]
Yes, I mean, I’ve gone off the path definitely I’ve gone I’ve even had to had to go back to Liverpool for a few years and take care of my dad. And I really didn’t want to be there because there was too many memories and, and obviously, I’ve been in so many other environments, once I left the pool at the age of 18, but once again now because of the function a is paramount in my life, that any environment and all environments can only serve really to make my comparisons richer, and to get insights into why people sometimes behave the way they do, because if you look around the environment, what is that environment dictating to them? And more recently,
we come back to the internal environment
where he was just talking about there is that throughout all these environments Good, bad and indifferent, there’s got to be something that we are all holding on to internally, ago a vision, a belief of faith. Usually people have a religion or they have some an essence, a spirit that actually keeps them going and resolved and is resolving them to make it into the world that they want to project for themselves. But, yes, those dots you have to go, especially and I’m saying this to myself, as I’m speaking about the future. dots can only be made with the amount of faith and trust and belief in ourselves and to quote the words of my auntie in Ireland, who is an AC five. She said to me, as your captain may fame may fame, uncertainty broadly What does that mean? She said may fame, believe Believe in yourself and that’s the two very important words and Irish may fame believe. Believe in yourself.
David Ralph [57:21]
So Kathy when you look back on everything what would be your.on the timeline when you think yeah that was probably the moment
Unknown Speaker [57:33]
I’m can only have one job.
David Ralph [57:37]
That was many doctors you want
Unknown Speaker [57:39]
the so many but
Cathi Hargaden [57:43]
I have to say that I ended up in hospital at the age of 25 in London and I was in traction for six weeks on crutches for six months. On for the first time in my life. I have no choice but to be still And I was forced to be still and setting in the bed. You just realise a different aspect to creation. And it’s then I opened the door to discovering more about zen, Buddhism, meditation. And I think that was my first route in inside. Until that I’d be I’d been kind of from a Catholic background but i’m i’m actually not that way inclined at all. The Zen door opened and I opened many doors internally. And I think that supposed was a doctor made me ask the questions and probably led me to the last 20 years of a meditation path that I went on. And, and one of the dots coming out about past Meditation on the path of forshay comes back to me faith, believe in yourself is a regardless of where you are, whether you’re in a family or religion or whatever, ultimately, the ultimate thing will be to trust in yourself. Even when everybody else is going the other way that if you feel you’ve got to go a different way, and trust in yourself that that is the way to go. And you may and you probably will lose people. But that is your journey. Marco Polo didn’t hang around to be for his friends to go off with him. When I was when I was 20 nobody wants to come travelling across the world with me. You know, I eventually I found somebody but a lot of the travels I’ve done have been surgeons alone surgeons because I didn’t find the people that wanted to go and be a Marco Polo. So I went off and I’m I’m found places to to work. Live. But, you know, you have to trust yourself that where you’re going, what you’re doing is right for you. And it may not be right for the people of it being not right for other people doesn’t make it not right for you. So ultimately, that that time in six weeks and in traction, not knowing that I was going to ever walk again. And people coming in and out saying they had loads of people coming in and visiting me all carrying the wounds of life, the political situation, the economics regime, I’d heard it all before and I was detached from that. And I remember thinking, you know, live for now live for now live for now. And, and, and be grateful, be grateful that you know, you do have two arms and two legs I for those people who don’t, who are listening then you Have an extra aspect to yourself, that an extra message to actually give to the world, you know that it’s not a it’s not a handicap, it’s actually a, a, an extra ordinary message that you can convey to the world that other people with full function of their bodies don’t have that they don’t realise until it’s gone, or it’s been lost. So, you know, the gratitude for for good health and I’m full function and should always, you know, not only use the word should because I don’t want to be preaching, but these are the things that came to me that was one of my big dots when I sat and sat in my bed and, and, and didn’t know if I was going to talk again. And I didn’t really know what the world held for me at that stage. So, and also got gave me an opportunity to realise that most hospitals with the exception of salted royal in outside Manchester, most hospitals, certainly in this country and some of the others I’ve seen abroad are not places of healing. But the environment does not serve the evening patient. And it certainly does not serve the people who work within those walls neither. And so it got me It gave me a chance to really experience how environments have an you know, detrimental effects as well. And as well as good effects on people’s people’s lives.
David Ralph [1:02:39]
It’s fascinating though, that most people’s Big Dot starts a low point. It seems that everyone has this moment in their life where they look back on it and I think, yeah, that wasn’t good. Didn’t fancy being there at the time. But yeah, actually, that was the making of me is time and time again. Well, what what we’re going to do now Kathy, we’re going to bring the show to an end and This is the part that we’ve been building up to. And we call it the Sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young caffee, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme. And when it fades you up this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [1:03:23]
We go with the best bit of the show.
Cathi Hargaden [1:03:40]
Well, it’s coffee here, the lady who is the function a consultant and teacher. And if I was looking back, what advice I would give my younger self, I would say, first of all, to all the young boys And girls start crying now. But I would say, believe in yourself and always believe that you’re beautiful. Don’t waste time on diets. Don’t compare yourself. And even if you think that you’re ugly enough, you’re probably very beautiful and to trust in yourself, even if you’ve got family saying to do X, Y and Zed go inside, find a quiet place. quiet place in your home and breathe in for five minutes, and listen to what you want for you. And when you grow and do that every day, you will start to see the signs Your life telling you which direction to go in. Just follow your own path. Follow your own path and don’t be afraid to do things differently.
David Ralph [1:05:11]
Kathy, how can our audience connect with you?
Cathi Hargaden [1:05:14]
and wealthy firstname.lastname@example.org and www dot functionary mastery show.com
David Ralph [1:05:24]
Okay, we’ll have all the links on the show notes cafe. Thank you so much for spending time with us today joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Kathy, thank you so much.
Cathi Hargaden [1:05:39]
Thank you, David have really really enjoyed it. And thank you all the listeners for listening.
David Ralph [1:05:47]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time For the life that you love, check out podcast is mastery.com. Now,
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.