Brian Holmes Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Brian Holmes
He is an author of the book “The Ties That Bind”, the founder and President of Strategic Living Institute, Brian A Holmes Ministries and the Strategic Leadership Forum, where he inspires everyone to find that thing that we were put on this earth to do.
He even has his own weekly podcast, that bind it all together.
As he says “Success is waking up in the morning and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there that you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at – something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again.”
So how long did it take Brian Holmes to fill this way?
And is it a process that we can all learn, or do people more often than not stumble unknowingly into the path that they should be taking?
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Mr Brian Holmes.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Brian Holmes such as:
How he wakes up every morning and loves nothing more than getting creative and finding new ways to teach people to get the things that they deserve in life.
Why it is so important to start thinking about the true value that you can provide to your customer base as soon as you can.
How he was abused as a small child and carried it around with him for over twenty years, until he made the decision to help others with his experiences.
Why he spent five days in a log cabin in Oklahoma, and found it amazing as he joined up his dots and could see so many things that had created his path.
How he has never met a person whose degree and education has helped them at all in the real world, but has met 1000’s of people whose passion and drive has.
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Full Transcription Of Brian Holmes Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcast is mastery.com. The premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro check us out now. podcasters mastery.com
when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:38]
Yes, hello, everybody. How are we? I think I had that up a bit too loud. I blew my brains out with that introduction. Hopefully you didn’t do the same for you. This is Episode 385 of Join Up Dots. We are coming from the United Kingdom. And today we’re going all the way to Dallas. We’re gonna go to the grassy knoll and shout back at the very last minute. This is a game That we’ve got on who is a man who has many irons in the fire on a daily basis. He’s an author of the book, but ties that bind, the founder and president of strategic living Institute, and the strategic leadership forum where he inspires everyone to find that thing that we were put on this earth to do, even has his own weekly podcast that binds it all together, as he says, success is waking up in the morning and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there that you love to do that you believe in. But you’re good at something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again. So how long did it take him to feel this way? And is there a process that we can all learn or do people more often than not just stumble unknowingly into the path that they should be taken? Well, let’s bring onto the show to start Join Up Dots. As we discussed the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Mr. Brian Holmes. How are you, Brian?
Brian Holmes [1:50]
Awesome today, David, great to be with you on the programme and it’s a privilege.
David Ralph [1:55]
It’s a lovely moment in my life to have you here because as I was sharing a little story with you Beforehand which we share online at the moment because people might be having their breakfast but you are in my official favourite place you are in Dallas.
Brian Holmes [2:11]
Wow. Well it’s a great place to live. I was born and raised in Texas. I grew up in Houston Texas, but I’ve been in Dallas now for 27 years it’s a great city and a lot of wonderful things have happened here over the years Houston’s a bit boring though in it the GD thing he well you know, it’s a great city in some respects but yes, oh no. Forget it.
David Ralph [2:32]
Yes. Oh, no. No. So so what what I can then what I’ve done when I’ve been in Dallas, what what is something that would drag people over you’ve got the JFK Museum, which is fascinating. You’ve got the the South bolt, the old Dallas place, what what other things might be hidden away that we’re not aware of?
Brian Holmes [2:54]
Well, you’ve got the Fort Worth stockyards. Now Fort Worth is a different city officially but it’s a part of the greater Metro area. The Fort Worth stockyards are phenomenal, great shops, great restaurants, a lot of social life. You’ve also got what we lovingly refer refer to around here as Jerry world. That’s jerry jones as in the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, built one of the most prolific amazing stadiums, that’s home to the Dallas Cowboys and also just tonnes of events all year round. That’s you can actually tour the place. It’s pretty remarkable. We’ve got all kinds of lakes and parks and buildings and just it’s just a phenomenal place to live. It’s really it’s an interesting city because it’s you’ve got the major city kind of at the hub, but really when people talk about being in Dallas, there are hundreds of municipalities are communities that have their own local governments that really make up what everyone refers to as the Dallas area. So it’s really quite a diverse community.
David Ralph [3:52]
So being an entrepreneur and a businessman like you are do you actually get time to experience your your local surroundings? Are you locked away in front of a computer all the time?
Brian Holmes [4:04]
That’s a great question. And the truth is having been here for 26 years there, there’s not a lot of things that I’ve not experienced in Dallas at least once. But the truth is, I really want I want to vacate and get away and relax and chill. I typically don’t want to do it here I want to, I want to hop in the car and get on a plane and go somewhere. In fact, I’m leaving on in just in a couple of days for a family vacation. We’re heading out to Key West Florida, just to get away from it all for a few days. So I love my city. And there are a lot of things to do here. But when I personally want to relax and chill, I just get away.
David Ralph [4:42]
Oh, yo, you’re gonna love Key West. I’ve actually got a website myself based on the Florida Keys, one of my first online adventures, to do a lot of research on Key West. So it’d be it’s an expensive place, but you’ll enjoy it.
Brian Holmes [4:55]
Well, I’m looking forward to it.
David Ralph [4:57]
Somebody let’s talk about you then, Brian Holmes. So you asked Somebody as you say, but literally leaps out of bed and bounce out of bed actually. Now is success something that you have stumbled across like most of us? Is it something that you’ve worked towards? Give us a background of what you do on a daily basis and then we will join up your dots to how you got there?
Brian Holmes [5:21]
Yeah, sure. I you know, I do wake up every morning with tremendous energy tremendous drive. And once my body awakens, which doesn’t take me too long, really I immediately begin to to allow my creativity to flow I begin to allow dreams to to come to the forefront, I begin to actually imagine and think about and meditate on what what can I accomplish today, what can be done today, so I’m going to kind of drive my wife crazy, by the way, in that way, because my wife’s a little more laid back and while she has her own dreams and visions about life, she’s just sort of, you know, moving through at a different pace. I’m I’m just driven I love to create I love to help people I love to pour into the lives of individuals and leaders. And so I’m always looking forward to a day when I can get about doing what it is I was created to do.
David Ralph [6:13]
And so Okay, so give us a little bit of a background of what do you actually do when you go out? you interact with people, you help people, but what is your business?
Brian Holmes [6:24]
Well, I am the founder and president of strategic living Institute, and that’s a company that I formed a number of years ago. Just to give you a background I’ve been in the people business for Gosh, 2025 years meaning I’ve either been working in some sort of religious vocation as in maybe a pastor or a counsellor, that type of thing and consultant with ministries and churches, but I’ve always been people. While I’ve always worked in that field. I’ve also had multiple businesses on the side. And I’m you know, I’m a natural salesperson. I love to engage with people. My passion, David To train and because I’m a trainer and a teacher and a mentor, I really spend every day of my life developing content, whether it’s online, or maybe it’s new courses that I’m going to be teaching and recording for TV or for video or for online courses. Maybe it’s local seminars, I travel about 90 days per year, on average, all over the world, training leaders, developing people and pouring into the lives of people that can make a real difference in the world. So my day every day, my activities are always framed and focused on moving that mission and that vision down the field of it.
David Ralph [7:38]
So you wake up every morning with the value approach, how can you provide value to your customer base?
Brian Holmes [7:46]
That’s right, that that’s really what drives me. I think if we get if we a lot of people are driven to go out and acquire things, people are driven to go out and acquire money or you know, new cars, boats, Whatever. I appreciate those things. And I won’t lie to you and say that I don’t desire to have some nice things in life. But what drives me is actually helping people to get the things they want in life. I believe it was Zig Ziglar, the great motivational speaker who said, if you will help enough people get what they want in life, you’ll have everything you ever want in life. And that’s kind of my my grid. That’s sort of where I come from. And I know that if I can get up every day and be the person that I am, and that is the leader, a mentor, a friend, a father figure and pour into people’s lives, the things that I want in my life, don’t come to me,
David Ralph [8:40]
if you sort of really break down that Ziegler phrase, because we it’s one of those things we hear all the time and you can almost be sort of blinkered to it. But I remember I was talking to his son Tom, and I think he’s, he’s based around the Dallas area somewhere.
Brian Holmes [8:54]
And Roger Dallas. Yeah, that’s right.
David Ralph [8:56]
And I was talking to him about his dad and whether he sort of walked around and said, Said profound things all the time. And he said, No, he didn’t. But he could, he could join the dots of profound stuff, and then bring it together into something that is memorable that you can sort of put out. Now, that took a long time for me to realise what Ziegler was really saying, Bear, because when most of us go on the entrepreneurial route, or we go into business, we start with, I’ve got to pay the bills, I’ve got to pay the bills. And I’ve got to go out and I got to find clients. And I’ve got to find a way of getting money out of them being basic about it. But what the Ziegler is pretty much saying is don’t worry about but if you provide enough value to people, if you provide the stuff that other people want, then you’re going to, you’re going to get your money anyway. And funnily enough, when you start and I’m going to ask your question, your opinion on this, when you start you almost think that’s a the long route. But now you’re involved in that is actually the quick route. Is that a quick route to do it and not, not sort of go that
Unknown Speaker [10:00]
Get some money.
Brian Holmes [10:02]
I don’t know that I can answer whether it’s the shortest
distance between point A and point B, but I can tell you this is one of the most rewarding it is to probably the most valuable to my own personal development because if I am in the mindset of giving, rather than acquiring that I am going to put into place a number of laws and principles that will in the long term benefit in the so much greater than if I just flushed it out on my own. For example, the law of sowing and reaping for example, it’s you know, it’s an old old law, it’s been around forever. But you know, if you put a seed in the ground today and you nurture that seed, there’s gonna come a point somewhere down the road depending on what type of seed or harvest you’re looking for. When that seed begins to metamorphosize in the dirt, but it eventually breaks the surface of the dirt. You grows into maturity and it provides you a harvest it might be nine months a year in life, it could be 10 years down the road. But a seed we plant today in someone’s life is going to bring about things that are may or may not be tangible, but they may be tangible. I’ll give an example of this. You know, there’s a couple of individuals that I sort of mentored, maybe 1520 years ago, and for the last seven years, we’ve not been in proximity to one another. We’ve been in different areas of the city or state or country, we’ve actually not been in contact on a frequent basis. But I had the privilege for a short season five to six years of being a very definitive voice in their life, someone who was speaking into their growth process speaking into their development, speaking even into their healing processes, where they were dealing with old issues and what have you. And I have recently been in contact with these individuals where they’ve said things to me like You know, I need you to know that the the role you played in my life in the year 2004 2005 that fundamentally changed the trajectory of my life. And I will never be able to repay you for that. But those things come back and here’s the piece that person can maybe never pay me back for, you know, the volume that I sewed into them. I believe the universe pays you back, I believe. Well, I believe that God is a guy who keeps a wonderful set of books. And he The idea is that which a man sews that shall he also reap. So if I saw my time, I may reap a harvest of time. If I saw money, I made money if I so kind words, I’ll reap kind words. But the truth is, whether it’s the short route or the long route, it’s the most rewarding and the most beneficial, both short and long term.
David Ralph [12:48]
So how did you overcome that mindset? I know so many people have, especially when it comes to coaching and mentoring, but you’ve actually got the value. You’ve got the experience. But these people will pay for and they will be, you’ll be rewarded for because it’d be valuable content. Because most people start thinking, I’m not experienced enough. Oh, I can’t give them advice. How did you overcome that?
Brian Holmes [13:15]
Well, I think that life has a way of teaching you valuable lessons if one is willing to learn, and in my case, and I’ll give you just a very short story here about my life, but when I was a very young child, maybe 11 1011 years old, had a very tragic situation happened to me where I experienced a very powerful and very devastating form of abuse. That set me on a course as any major event like that doesn’t like whether it’s the loss of a loved one, whether it’s abuse, whether it’s, you know, some sort of emotional trauma, whatever the case may be, for me, it really messed me up. And for about 22 years from 11 or so till about 30 to 33 years old. That thing was just knowing it, me eating at me and was creating some real devastating issues in my relationships, in my family, in my personal life, certainly in my character and integrity. And in 2000, it was a year 2000 I had the tremendous opportunity that to deal with those things to really get at a heart level and, and process what happened to me and all the stuff that happened from that point. And long story short, I experienced a tremendous transformation in my life in the year 2000. And coming out of that phenomenal moment or experience. Then I began to learn some things are, I should say, become aware of things that always been there. But I became more aware of you know, what this is not necessarily about, about me, it’s about why am I here? Who am I and why am I here? And I began to discover that I am here to take the pain, the suffering, the hurt, the experiences that I’ve had over the years, even from childhood and And turn those now invert those now and make them resources and content and teaching and training and, and healing for someone who may or may not be going through the same thing I am. So for me, it’s shifted when I personally experienced transformation. I really believe, you know that it’s really there’s a lack of integrity when you have someone selling a product when they they may have become an expertise by way of book learning, but they haven’t lived it. Yeah, that’s the same one is when someone has lived and experienced and gone through the phases of of metamorphosis, as a result of having experienced the pain done the healing, dealt with the issues, you know, reconciled with friends, whatever the case may be when they’ve gone through it, and now they have some validity to be able to speak into my life and I want to be the guy who takes all of the experiences of my life and somehow so those back into those that really need to help I believe I If I can help people learn lessons without having to go through what I went through?
David Ralph [16:03]
Well, that’s the profound message that comes out time and time again on Join Up Dots, but no experience is wasted. And some of the hardest times that we will go through are the real learning times. And they’re the ones that push you on to position positions that you couldn’t dream possible. When you look back, you Join Up Dots. And you go, yes, that was because of that issue. That’s because of that issue. So did you see that? Do you see that if your life had been pleasant all the way through, you may not have ended up in the position that you’ve been totally hypothetical. But were they good things that happened to you ultimately?
Brian Holmes [16:41]
And that’s a tremendous observation. And yes, I do believe that, you know, you know, you hear the phrase bad things happen to good people. And that’s probably true. But I will tell you this. Do I wish that I would not have experienced what I experienced? 11 years old sure. But here’s the piece In the divine providence of all that is that happened to me. So I have to accept and embrace the idea that there’s a reason for it and having processed through that and live that I’ve become someone who can now add value to someone else. I just don’t believe that anything happens Rex and do I, you know, I personally have a worldview that there is a God and there is a purpose that he has predetermined for my life. That’s my worldview. It may or may not be anybody else’s worldview, but it’s mine. You know, I absolutely believe that whether or not God caused something bad to happen to me is irrelevant. What I know is that it happened and now what is the purpose in it? How can I How can I milked that for everything it’s worth and learn from it grow from it and become more of what I can be because of having gone through that experience.
David Ralph [17:56]
And do you think the listeners out there the ones that are interested positions, employment Why’s that? They don’t like but I think Well, I’ve got nothing to offer. When you look at it, they’ve been on the planet for 25 years, they have got their own story, haven’t they? And that story is going to be hugely powerful to somebody out there. Did you think everybody has got that knowledge base to step forward and present themselves to the world and actually make an income on it?
Brian Holmes [18:23]
I’m so glad you brought that up. Here’s the deal. I absolutely believe that there are millions of people all over the world, especially in the West and I relate more with people in the West, although I’ve travelled to 18 countries. So I have quite a broad worldview. But most people in the West grow up with this mindset. You know, you you go to school, primary school, you go to in our, in our case, middle school, then High School, then you know, you’re really compelled to go to university and get a four year degree which by the way, just for those we’re speaking to in the business world Most people who have a four year degree in fact, 80% of people who have a four year degree within 10 years of graduating from university, they are not working in a field that they studied the end, nor do they ever go back to it. Now, the 75% of people who graduate with a bachelor’s degree in the US graduate with an average of $80,000 in student loan debt. Now, my thing is, is that you got a lot of people that are following this track that someone handed to us, here’s what you do to be successful. And, and I’m getting on a soapbox here of sorts, but here’s the thing. I haven’t met a person whose degree made them successful. But I’ve met lots of successful very successful people who discovered who they were got in touch with their passions, their skills, their abilities, that the thing that lights them up the thing that makes them excited, and they found creative ways to engage in entrepreneurial endeavours or business endeavours in that field. And they have gone on To make millions and millions of dollars, or whether money is the issue or not, they their life is a success. their relationships are successful, their marriages are successful, they are living comfortably and doing well in life. Because they got in touch with that I believe that’s a better frame than just, you know, doing the job thing and whatever. Every person sitting in some cubicle somewhere in corporate America or in the UK and Ireland, in Asia, wherever in Europe, anywhere in the world know this. You can have more if you want more, you just have to go about the business of discovering what the more is for you.
David Ralph [20:37]
Well get off your soapbox, Brian because I’m going to stand next year, because that plays to my passions. Now I believe in education, and I believe that it teaches you to study it teaches you structure it teaches you a lot of things. But actually after that, it doesn’t really touch you much. And I’ve got some kids now I’ve got my my older ones have gone through education system, and my younger ones are going through it. And I can see you that, that they’re learning certain things they’re never going to use. But you can’t say to him old, old, don’t worry about that you’re not going to use it when you get older because it’s part of the place. But there is a, I suppose that creativity that disappears somewhere along that line of that education system. But when people come out, they don’t think that they’ve got the choices. They don’t think they’ve got the control, because they’ve spent 25 years being told, okay, you got to get that that exam done, because that helps repair and you’ve got to get this I mean, you got to get a job and you’ve got to be responsible, and you’ve got to be serious and all that kind of stuff. do a nice job. But I have been fortunate enough to speak to so many hundreds of entrepreneurs and businessmen and authors and all that kind of stuff. They literally will throw that back at me and say, when I started to play when I started to enjoy myself, my work ethic went up. I touched into the passions, I was meant to give The world and everything started to come together when I was in jobs where I had to get there at eight o’clock in the morning and leave at five, and I couldn’t leave until I, you know, I was told and all that kind of stuff. I was just killing time and the whole world is based around killing time, which for me is a crying shame and these one of the reasons why I started this show, there you go, that was a bit so boxy as well.
Brian Holmes [22:24]
Hey, just come on up. There’s plenty of room up here on this one. So it’s all good. It’s all good. I I my thing is, I believe that we have been inadvertently duped into believing that the box we’ve been given is how we have to live our life. And I tell people often you know, I’m so far out of the box, I can’t even spell it. And I I don’t understand why we have been sold this bill of goods and we purchased this bill of goods and we’ve just conceded that our life is going to be framed by what someone else expects of us. My litmus test Is What did my Creator know about my, my future? My, my past present future? What is my potential? What am I capable of? Who am I supposed to touch in this life? How am I supposed to go about doing that? there? There is an answer to that question and my life’s work is to go discover that and pursue it with all of my MC. So that’s what I do. Every day of my life. I get out of bed and I say to myself, really, in my mind, I say, How can I today become more of what I can be? And how can I today fulfil more of the mission that I’ve been given to fulfil? that literally is the guide of my life. As simple as that sounds. If more people would really process through that and understand that I believe with all of my heart, we’d have a world that was so much happier, so much more fulfilled, people who are living their lives on purpose and not just getting over to think about this. Can you imagine? I don’t my country. I’m fortunate. I drive a few minutes to my office. And you know, but I seek Getting up driving out of my neighbourhood in the morning to go to drive 45 minutes across to the other side of the city to go to a job. They don’t like working with people they don’t like doing doing duties they can’t stand and have no passion for for people that they really don’t care about. And I’m like, really? What is why do we get up every day to go do that? Why not say Heck no, I’m going to actually get serious now about finding out what is it that I am here to perform? And how can I be happy doing it? That’s the life that I believe we should all pursue. I agree.
David Ralph [24:34]
I’m gonna play some words, but I’ll have to say my commutes. 15 seconds. Literally, I bound up the garden and I’m there so you try to beat back I like it. Anyway, this is the words I like to play that really leads us on to the second stage of Join Up Dots. And this was said by Jim Carrey I play it literally every day and I’m going to play it again. Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [24:53]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [25:20]
should say Brian at the engineer
Brian Holmes [25:23]
You know, I’ve never heard that quote that is absolutely insane. I love that. How does
David Ralph [25:28]
it make you feel bear in mind, I’ve heard it 300 times now and that’s the first time you’ve heard it.
Brian Holmes [25:35]
It makes me feel like I’ve missed something. I love Jim Carrey. I love his his body of work and all that he does. And somehow and I’ve listened to so many entertainers and, and performers and musicians give similar speeches, you know, graduations and things like that commencement. But I’ve not heard that one. So I’m like, Oh my gosh, that is profound.
David Ralph [25:55]
But it is profound, isn’t it and I listened to it from both sides. I listened to It from the conservative route first because for many years I was the conservative route. I went in our data job. And I was the person who was talking about earlier. I didn’t want to go there. But it was a job and it was it was paying the bills, then I’ve gone for the risky route. But now I’m not sure it is the risky route. That’s the thing. When I started, I really didn’t have the answers. But now, if you work hard enough on something, the answers come together. Now what I always say here, Brian is Join Up Dots is not about the leap of faith. It’s not about punching your boss in the face and just walking out and thinking you can do it yourself. But it is about the slide of faith. It’s about a plan, putting a plan into place, whereby it just means that you get happy in the job you’re in deciding why you’re unhappy and working towards bringing happiness back getting your mojo back in employment, or doing a side hustle and working on things over a period of six months, a year, two years. So it makes it easier for you Follow your dreams. What do you think?
Brian Holmes [27:03]
Yeah, I believe that too. I talked a lot on my podcast about finding your lane and living in and finding your sweet spot discovering who you are discovering why you’re here and then discovering applications as to how you can carry that out. And one of the processes that I walk my coaching clients through is this. You know, number one, I believe in personal healing and you’ve heard me mentioned healing a couple of times. And let me say what I mean by that personal healing is dealing with anything from my past. That could prohibit me from with a very clear mind and a very clear understanding of what’s possible moving forward. You know what happened to me at 11 years old, it took me 22 years to even realise that I could resolve that reconcile that and and grab a hold of a different truth. Because we act in accordance with the truth is we believe it to be so a lot of my framework for those years was based in a tragic, horrible thing that happened and I needed healing from That moment so that I could really see life see possibility the way it was meant to be seen. So I believe people need to go through what’s called personal healing. The second phase is personal discovery. This is where we take people through, you know, personality profiles and understanding how they’re wired, their gifts, their talents, their abilities, what they’re good at. We do you know, Strength Finders and things like this various profile type tools we use to help someone really get an inventory of what the matrix of their life looks like. And then in that same process, we talked about dreams. What are your dreams? What have you always dreamed about? What you know, if money were no object, geography or no object? What would you want to do and where would you want to be and who would you want to be doing it with? And people we’ve given up on even thinking like that? That’s part of that discovery process. We talk about passion. What you know, for me, I’m an aviator, by the way I’ve been flying planes and I’m like commercial licenced pilot for 25 years. years. And from the time I was a teeny weeny kid, I mean, maybe a toddler, I had this fascination with aeroplanes as they would fly over my house and my father would take me to the airport and we would sit in the parking garage on the top level and watch aircraft, takeoff and land, he would buy me books, and I would read, you know, adult level learning books, how to fly, the, you know, aeronautics and all these things because I, it was just somehow embedded in me to be passionate about aviation and flying. So as I got older, I got my pilot’s licence. And today, when I talk about flying, it’ll light me up. I want everything from jets to little single engine cessnas. I love flying. So it’s a passion. Well, how does that relate to my purpose? Well, guess what? I travel a lot. So guess what I get to do I get to fly a lot. Most times, a lot of times I get to fly my own self in my own aeroplane places. So it’s just that little indication as a child was actually there from the beginning to point me towards something that somebody would be a part of me doing what I’m called to do. So that discovery process is important. The third Cornerstone and for strategic living is personal development. I know you talked about this a lot on your programme, every one of us have a responsibility if we’re going to become all we can be to actually develop those gifts, develop those talents, build our knowledge base, increase our competencies. And so you know, I read a lot, I listened to audio books, I listened to audio programmes, I listened to a lot of podcasts, and I’m constantly feeding my mind and grow in my capacity. So this personal development piece is a discipline that I think for a generation, we might have lost it, but it’s coming back now I see more and more people engaging in the process of being developed as the most significant leader they can be. And the fourth Cornerstone that I talk about a lot is personal deployment. You know, David, at some point we can, we can be professional seminar goers. And that’s great. That’s a part of the learning process but at some point, you got to get off the sidelines, suit up and get in the game and take part in the action, which means you might get hit, you might get tackled, you know, you might fail. But you’ve got to get in the game. So it’s the doing part that comes toward the end of the preparation part. So as you’re talking here about this, it’s just exciting me so much because so many people have given up on their dreams given up on their passions given up on you know, the ideal life that they often fantasise about. But I’m telling you, it’s never too late. If you’re willing to engage the process, the process works because it’s principally based.
David Ralph [31:38]
One of the interesting things about this show Brian is when when I call it together, you kind of just throw things together because you don’t know what you’re doing. So I knew I wanted to base it around the speech of Steve Jobs, so I called it Join Up Dots. And I had a tagline I still got a tagline of connecting our past. joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Now just sounded a nice thing to have. So I threw that together. Now during the conversations, we find out time and time again, as you just said, that actually, the best way to find your passions is to look back at your younger self and look back at the things that you did as a child, when there wasn’t money involved, you’d come home from school, and you just wanted to do it. And I can connect my pass to bat and you can connect your passions of aeroplanes to that, and we’ve all got a memory of our childhood. But for some reason, we kind of think that that was of a time that was play. That’s was when life wasn’t serious. But he’s got great clues, doesn’t it? So those two those things that really light us up and you can build a business around and it’s bizarre what you can build a business around with the internet now?
Brian Holmes [32:49]
Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, you know, I’ve done this process, actually. And before I ever knew about your show, I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know about your show until just a few months ago. But before I know about your show, I’ve actually done a process that I kind of just felt inspired to do. And I went away for three to five days, I go to this place up in the mountains here in Oklahoma, and it’s a beautiful cabin, very luxurious, nice cabin, overlooking the beautiful river and then out beyond that as mountains. It’s just a gorgeous place, great place for me to think and to dream and to, to ponder. But on this particular trip, I went up there and I said, I want to go back and, and I don’t know that I used in my mind that the term connect the dots, but just connect the dots, I want to look at my life as a timeline, and see how it was all woven together. You know, very purposefully, very strategically, that’s my favourite word. And it was all a plan all along to get me to where I am. And the discoveries that I made David were just profound because, you know, going back as early as my childhood and looking at, you know, this is crazy. I’m thinking about this right now. My mother was a patient lithic I’m not sure what you call it, your part of the world, but we have garage sales, where people take things they no longer one in their home and they, they sell them out on the driveway of their home. And so my mom just love to go rummaging through these places. And I’ve got to tag along and a lot of the clothing that I was a small kid came from these these garage sales. And and I look back at the even those little things like that had a prolific role to play in the development of the mindset that needed to be formed in me, so that I could perform at the highest levels and do the thing that I was created to do. And I looked at you know, even when I first got married, I got into corporate America, which by the way, I’m not a good fit for the corporate world at all. And but but I was there for about six years, and I hated it. I hated every minute of it. I didn’t enjoy it. It was just not my thing. I did a good job. I was a very good employee, but I was miserable. I was angry. I was miserable. It was just a bad season and it may Anyways, now in hindsight looking back on it, it was in that six year period where I learned computer skills I had none where I learned managed time management and organisation because I believe me, I had none of that either. And there were three or four major qualities and skill sets that I picked up in those six years. I had never travelled much before. And one of my jobs sent me travelling about once or twice a quarter to another part of the country and I would interface with with suppliers and contractors and people that worked for us there. And so I learned to manage relationships, just some major things had I not going through a very difficult season which I did not like I would have missed out on picking up the qualities and the skill sets that I needed for where I am today in my present, and my estimation, the real measure of what I’m here to do so everything connects if you really take the time to think about everything connects
David Ralph [35:56]
is a powerful concept joining up your dots or connected Your thoughts and what a lot of my guests have said and I find it fascinating. But they have all done back that that that exercise, but what one man does is every five years he goes back and he reassess his what he did five years or two years beforehand. So he sits there in his log cabin in Oklahoma or wherever it is. And he looks back on that year and says Why? Okay, January what went well, there? That was rubbish. That went really bad. Okay, right. That’s a black dot. Okay, March. Okay. Oh, yeah, that went really well. That’s it that that’s white dots. And he puts him when he looks back on that same bit of paper. Three years later, he realises that more often than not, he needs to change the black dots to the white dots because they were the ones that actually moved him in the direction. They were the ones that he can look back now and go, Ah, I thought that was a failure. But my god, that was a lucky break I had where and it sort of moves him on fascinating stuff.
Brian Holmes [36:59]
That is is a prolific practice. And I will tell you now I’m going to adopt that because I go away once a quarter to do these kinds of think, sessions. And that is brilliant. Just to to know that you’re looking every year at what went right, what went wrong, evaluating it in the moment as to how it might have affected your life, but then having a reflection on it even several years down the road and seeing clearly, and I don’t know, I thought that was a bad thing. But that was a powerful moment in my life that actually propelled me toward this moment. That that’s just brilliant. I love that David.
David Ralph [37:34]
But let’s play some words Brian Holmes, that really sort of bring this part of the conversation to an end any it brings together everyone just been talking about over the last 10 minutes. This is Oprah
Unknown Speaker [37:43]
the way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move. The next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [38:15]
Now, I actually live my life by that. And my wife says, to me, it’s an Oprah moment is an Oprah moment. And more often than not when you’re doing something, and I was talking about this on a show earlier, so if people are listening consecutively, you’re gonna hear the same story. But um, I was I’ve been doing amazingly well on the downloads and which is what you live and die by on a show like this. And I decided, but maybe that wasn’t the ceiling. Maybe I haven’t hit the peak. Maybe I’ve been doing something wrong in the background, with the website or iTunes or whatever. Maybe Maybe, maybe so I started tinkering around thinking about and it was like a turn the tap, and it just plummeted. And I thought this is interesting. Now a lot of people at them were saying to me, ah, that must be terrible. When I was going No, that’s the good thing. It means that I’ve got some kind of element of control, all I’ve got to do is find the right turn of the tap again, and then it’s going to come back. And I must have gone about three weeks, I couldn’t get a listener for love nor money. And then suddenly, I did something and wish it went back twice as big as it was before. And I find that is my Oprah moment I find that is when you perceive it’s a failure. Actually, it’s part of your learning. And it’s that learning but if you move through it, you will go on to the next level and you’ll go to where you couldn’t have been, unless you tried it.
Brian Holmes [39:37]
Yeah, absolutely. That’s man, I tell you what, you give me some great stuff to work with today and to think about, I’m a guest on your programme, but you’re teaching me some great, great tools. I love that Oprah quote as well. Fantastic.
David Ralph [39:52]
Something opens up your own podcast because it seems the thing that people do now. Whether you want to be a podcast of note or you want to pass your message off in a different format. Was that something that when they turn the mic on you felt naturally comfortable? Or has that been a journey as well for you?
Brian Holmes [40:13]
You know, I had to get used to sitting in my office, our studio and speaking into a microphone. I’ve been speaking for 27 years in front of audiences. And so speaking comes very naturally to me. So the first one or two times, literally the first one or two episodes that I recorded, I had to kind of get myself in the mindset of speaking to an audience even though I’m not speaking in front of physical bodies. There are thousands of people out there millions potentially that could be listening to this. So I literally envisioned myself speaking. So for me, David, it came very naturally it came because I just talked about the things that I am passionate to share with people, and it comes across, you know, in that kind of a way. In fact, I’ve had people ask me before you know, do you have people on You’re your audience whenever you’re doing your podcast because I talk like I’m talking to people right now. And so but I love podcasting. I believe in it. In fact, I’ll tell you a quick story about transition here. I had been speaking to kind of a close group of people for about 12 years in a particular setting, and I knew the message that I had in me deserved a much broader, much wider audience, but I did not really know how to get that out there. And I, I met a couple of people along the way that had tremendous influence in my life. Couple of people that have become friends and mentors, you might know of Dan Miller 48 days to the you know, Michael Hyatt, Ray Edwards, some of these guys, and I knew immediately this podcast thing is for real. So this is back in 2011. I began to really discover this by 2012 rather, and so I made up my mind I’m going to do this thing and I’m telling you, the moment I committed to it and later to reality podcast into Me is the probably the most significant, effective way to project a message you care about whatever that message is, and make it available to more people I get letters or you know, emails every week, contact forms to do my website. I get things every week. You have no idea how this is impacting me, thank you for this message just and I love the the affirmation and it feels good to know that that’s being appreciated, but more than anything, I feel as though I’ve, I’ve made a difference because we took a tool which is podcasting and, and put it out there and put them inserted the message into it and then just broadcast it. And so now more people are being impacted by the words that we’re speaking. So podcasting, man, what will we what do we do before it’s what I want to know?
David Ralph [42:48]
Well, it’s a funny thing because I don’t talk to the audience. I talked to the individual, but that’s my difference. I’m interested when you talk you present to an embassy A bull crowd. That’s it. That’s a different mindset altogether, isn’t it?
Brian Holmes [43:04]
Well, I probably should rephrase that because I, if you go back and listen to my podcast, which is the strategic living podcast, you can find it at Brian homes.com. Certainly on iTunes. If you go listen to it, you, you will think that I’m sitting there coaching you talking directly to you, but I’m speaking in a presentation format that I could do in front of a large audience. I’m not really envisioning a massive audience. I’m really envisioning. I’m talking to someone. Hey, when I talked to 10,000 people in a massive audience, literally physically, I present is the one presenting to one. So maybe that brings some clarity to you. So I, I’m talking always to the heart of the individual.
David Ralph [43:42]
So what scares you them Brian? I know a lot of our listeners will be thinking, doing a podcast scary standing up in front of 10,000 people scary mentoring people, what actually gets your juices going and you look at it and think, Oh, I think this might be a bit too much for buying homes.
Brian Holmes [43:59]
That’s a Great question. You know, I think what scares me most is, again, going back to some limiting beliefs that I still battle with from time to time. You know, I look at guys that I respect, you know, Zig Ziglar and and Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins, and all these guys you can mention and other guys in my world, Ray Edwards, Michael Hyatt, and I look at them and I think, man, it’s just so easy for them to get up in front of that crowd and do that deal and say that thing and build that business and launch that course. And and for me, I think sometimes I still struggle with the self worth issues and you know, I’m probably not as good as they are probably don’t have the same kind of talent they do. I don’t know the right people. And so I think what scares me is, is failing as a result of not having tried, if that makes sense. I think one of my greatest fears is getting to the end of my life and not having accomplished all that I had the capacity to accomplish, because I talked myself out of even giving it a shot. And that’s something that I I’ve consciously I’m aware of every single day. And I push myself when I hit these moments where I’m afraid or I’m like, I hesitate or I feel resistance. I just take a moment remind myself, you know what? I may, it may fall flat on its face. But I at least have to give it the effort, because it’s in my heart to do it. And whatever happens with it, what ever happens with it, you know, just is what it is. But I think my greatest fear is failing as a result of not having tried.
David Ralph [45:26]
I think that’s a common trait. And I think I can see that linking all the way through to shows right back to the very first episodes, people realising that they could be on this planet and go, and nobody will know that they’ve been around.
Brian Holmes [45:39]
Yeah, you know, my dad passed away when I was in my early 30s. In fact, he died in 1999. And that was really a catalyst moment for me and leading toward that healing process that I experienced in 2000. But my dad died at 64 years old David 64. Very young. I’m 48 today, and I’m What, 1516 years from that right now? And, you know, I look back on it, he was a good man. He was a kind man, very generous, loved people, you know, but he kind of got stuck in the whole career thing. You know, that was his generation. He worked hard all the time work for Corporation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff, but I look back on his life and I know that my dad had the capacity to do great things in business for himself. He had ideas. I know he his dream was always to own his own barbecue type of a restaurant. And I know he had the capacity to do that. But he died never having tried because he believed at a heart level that he could not do it and he had all kinds of excuses and reasons why he probably shouldn’t try it. And I find most people hesitate at moving into this This idea of making an attempt to pursue your dream because they they have limiting beliefs, they don’t believe they can they don’t believe they’re worth it don’t believe they’re valuable enough. Don’t believe they’re good enough. And I tell you what I, I am ruthless, with limiting beliefs. If I if I can identify a limiting belief in my own heart, that could keep me from accomplishing what I know in my heart I’m supposed to do. I go after that belief, and I deal with it so that I can move beyond the limitation that belief would put me in.
David Ralph [47:33]
He’s so difficult, isn’t it? Because you know, I’m the host of this show. And so in many regards, people will look at me as a success. But I pass with those same things all the time. And I remember when I started the journey, charging for anything, I couldn’t charge anyone. I was doing stuff for free all the time, because I didn’t totally believe in myself for what I was providing. People would pay and it keeps them going. Every time. You move up another level, you still have those same thoughts or different self limiting thoughts. You can’t break away from them, can you?
Brian Holmes [48:07]
No, absolutely not. You know, there’s a there’s an old saying that I quote all the time I’m not sure who to give credit to on this. But whatever was excellent on the previous level becomes mediocre at best on the next level. But here here’s another one that goes with that is that whatever demons you’ve not conquered on the previous level, they follow you into the new one. And no matter what successes you have, if you don’t deal with limiting beliefs, those limiting beliefs follow you and they haunt you and they have the potential to keep you from realising the scope of success that you have the potential to realise if we don’t really conquer those and so, man, I could give some examples of athletes and music industry people that have tremendous talent, incredible gift and, you know, have had a lot of great breaks and they do really well for a season and then You know, seem to be at the top of their game. But because they’ve not dealt with some of these internal issues at some point, we see these careers coming apart, whether it’s, you know, a tiger woods, or, you know, Miley Cyrus or whoever the person might be Justin Bieber, God bless his soul. You know, all these, all these guys that have everything, but yet there’s something missing. And my heart is to see people deal with these things earlier. So that when they come into their moment, they don’t sabotage and ruin an opportunity to really experience great success.
David Ralph [49:34]
But let’s play the words now from the man who created the whole show of Join Up Dots, Mr. Steve Jobs, and he was somebody that had huge success, but also, he had to back these own demons as well. And you can you can go both ways with Steve Jobs. You can either see him as a genius and a guru, or just a really bad businessman. It is your own point of view. But certainly, these words are profound Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [49:58]
Of course, it was impossible. To connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [50:33]
I think we already know for you, Brian, that their words that you would buy into,
Brian Holmes [50:38]
Oh, absolutely. I’ve listened to that speech. I don’t know how many times I’ve used that same speech and presentations I’ve made and I’m telling you what, what an example that he lived, but also the profundity of that statement. There is something about connecting the dots and looking at your life in a much more holistic way that will catapult you into a level of effectiveness, significance and success that nothing else will.
David Ralph [51:08]
So what is your big dot? Ben? Brian, I always ask this question. When you look back on your life, what what is the sort of moment or the incident or whatever that you think, yeah, that that’s really when it started moving in my direction.
Brian Holmes [51:21]
For me, it was the year 2015 years ago, almost to the month actually, when I was sitting in a seminar that was created by the infamous Dr. Phil McGraw and his father, Dr. Joe McGraw. And it was a very intensive, very experiential seminar. And in that 10 day process, it was a three day and then off for 10 days and then you come back and do another five days in that total process there. I had two major aha moments, epiphany, these revelations, whatever you want to call them. Were in a moment, I recognise that everything that I had come to believe about my, my worth, my value, my, my, my essence, my possibilities, my future had really been a big fat lie. And, and in that realisation that’s not enough just to realise it’s not true that I had to pursue in that environment, grabbing a hold of the possibilities, from a real deep truth level. Listen, if someone believes a lie, think about this. If someone believes a lie, it’s truth to them because they believed it. And the truth that you hold governs the course of your life. And there’s an old proverb that says you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. It really depends on what truth you’re holding to. For me, it was in 2001, I got a hold of truth, about my possibilities about my worth, about my calling about my destiny, about my assignment in life and what It is that I’m here to do. And when I got a hold of that my perspective on everything began to change. And I actually begin to move forward toward pursuing the things that were significant in my life.
David Ralph [53:12]
Well, let’s take send you on a journey now to connect some more dots. And this is the part of the show that we call the Sermon on the mic when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Brian, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out in a moment, because I’m going to play the theme tune, and when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
We go with the best bit of the show.
Brian Holmes [53:58]
Brian young Brian, it’s great. To see you again and have a chat with you, man, this is the older Brian, I’m 48 now, but I’m talking to the 12 year old Brian, the young kid who has recently experienced some crazy traumatic things and some things that any kid really shouldn’t have to go through. But I want to talk to you and I want to just encourage you right now to, to think about five things. And if you can embrace these five things, you will absolutely change the course of your life. Number one, always dream big dreams. Never allow anyone to too small up your dreams or to require you to think small or to convince you that your dreams are are insignificant or they’re irrelevant. Whatever dream you have in your heart, whatever passions you have in your heart, those things are who you are created to be. Dream Big Dreams number to believe in yourself. Believe that you have worked Believe that you have value believe that you have capacity, believe that you have absolute potential that will only become stronger as you are developed and as you grow in life, believe. Don’t let anyone rob you of the belief in your value your worth. Nobody’s words, nobody’s opinions, no one’s expectations of you can shape who you really are. You are, who you are, and you have to believe in yourself. Number three, I would encourage you to think in terms of planning, always have a plan. Have a plan for next week. Have a plan for your year, have a plan for your life. Those things adjust those things change but always think in terms of having a plan. Don’t just get up and float through life like you’ve jumped in a flowing river and you’re just going to go over the current takes you know, you determine the course you determine the direction you determine how it is you want to move into life and what you want to accomplish. Number four, choose your relationship wisely. Relationships are key. Everything you need to live you’ll find in relationships but wrong relationships, bad relationships, detrimental relationships will actually keep you from becoming all that you can be. Brian, listen to me, listen to me closely. As you move from level to level in your life. Not everyone that you have in your sphere will go with you to the next level. So your relationships really matter. Choose your relationships wisely. Be willing to walk away from them if they’re detrimental to you each season. Relationships are important in your life. And the fifth thing, Brian is this thing is this. Be a giver, live a lifestyle of giving. give of yourself give of your essence, always be considerate of the other person. In fact, think of other people more than you think of yourself. Always be willing to pour into to invest in and know that every seed you plant, every seeds you sow will come back to you in your lifetime with a great harvest. It’ll be a beautiful thing, all the success that you ever want in life, Brian, you can have it if you’ll simply help enough people to have success they desire to have. That’s my sermon
David Ralph [57:11]
on the mic. Brian, how can our audience connect with you sir?
Brian Holmes [57:16]
Well, you can find out about everything we’re doing at Brian homes.com. And just to mention, we do a video segment a short video segment every Monday called Monday mastery just short snippets three to five minutes. These are power packed five minutes worth of things infuse you with transforming minds developing leaders activating your destiny helping you to become everything you can be also have a podcast called the strategic living podcast. You can find that of course at Brian homes calm as well, and also on iTunes and Stitcher. So everything you need is at Brian homes. com br INHOL s.com.
David Ralph [57:53]
We’ll have all the links on the show notes. Brian, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please Come back again when you have more dots to join up, because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Mr. Brian homes. Thank you so much.
Brian Holmes [58:10]
My privilege, David. Thank you.
David Ralph [58:14]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcast is mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcast is mastery.com.
Now David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are once to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.