Welcome to the Steve Jobs based Join Up Dots Podcast Interview with Dr Tom Preston
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Introducing Dr Tom Preston
Dr Tom Preston is todays guest joining us the Join Up Dots podcast interview.
He is a man who has a mission in life.
He wants to inspire the world to design their life, and go for the big dreams by asking themselves some huge and deep questions.
He was asked by his coach to ask himself “When Is Enough Enough?” and after struggling with answering that question the penny dropped.
He needed to define what success meant to him.
He needed to define the life he truly wanted.
How The Dots Joined Up For Dr Tom
And it certainly worked as he is now a highly acclaimed public speaker, life & business coach, chiropractic consultant, and advisor who helps unlock the potential and authenticity of his clients, readers, and listeners.
His customized approach of unifying professional goals with personal talents has helped countless people discover the success they want to achieve.
He truly believes everyone has the power to find fulfilment in their lives, bringing them closer to their dreams and providing the necessary mechanics to allow them to hold on to those dreams.
So is this the missing part that so many people fail to spend time on? We don’t ask “When is enough?”
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Dr Tom Preston.
Why he can see such truth in the words “life can only be viewed backwards to live it fully forwards.”
How he recalls playing truant from school as a young child, and traipsed into the Canadian woods on his own, single-mindedly creating his own life (if just for one day)
How he loves escaping to his island, locking the world behind and focusing in on helping others, and creating value to the world.
Why so many people cant see the true essence to their life purpose. How they need to see through the eyes of others to move forward to the life of their dreams.
How Steve Jobs never answered a call, and why should he? We should all play to our strengths and bee focused on every action we can do better than anyone else.
How To Connect With Dr Tom Preston
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Dr Tom Preston Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcasters mastery.com, the premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now. podcasters mastery.com.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:38]
Yes, hello, bear. Everybody calls It’s me. It’s David Ralph and this is Join Up Dots almost unbelievably, Episode 404 is coming live to you today. And we are crossing the pond as we do quite a lot. I’ll be honest to Canada today and the guest who is joining us is a man who has a mission in life I suppose. Most of us on the show have Mission on life, but he wants to inspire the world to design their life and go for the big dreams by asking themselves some huge and deep questions. Now he was asked by his coach to ask himself when is enough enough? And after struggling with answering that question the penny dropped. He needed to define what success meant to him he needed to define the life he truly wanted. And it certainly worked as he is now a highly acclaimed public speaker, life and business coach, chiropractic consultant, and advisor and author who helps unlock the potential and authenticity of his clients, readers and listeners. His customised approach of unifying professional goals with personal talents has helped countless people discover the success they want to achieve. He truly believes everyone Yes, every one of you out there has the power to find fulfilment in their lives, bringing them closer to their dreams, and providing the necessary mechanics to allow them to hold on to those dreams. Now, that’s an interesting thing that we probably hadn’t spoken about before. So is this Missing partner so many people found to spend time on we don’t ask when is enough, enough? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Dr. Tom Preston. How are you Dr. Tom?
Dr Tom Preston [2:13]
Fabulous and getting better with age. David, thanks. I’m gonna come right
David Ralph [2:17]
to the chase. I say that the gap show now I used to sort of Wonder for about the first five or 10 minutes, but I like to go straight for it. I’ve become a bit of a Skype kind of addict with the little slogans that people put on. And just before we connect, I normally read them and I think this says a lot about the person I’m going to speak to and you’re one his life is live and it should be celebrated fully. What did you do to celebrate today? Well, it’s quite early in the morning for you. So what did you do to celebrate yesterday?
Dr Tom Preston [2:48]
Well, yesterday actually was one of the things I did to celebrate yesterday David was a rhythm that my wife and I have had for all of our 30 plus years together is date night. So you know one of the things that I contend is that the key to keeping a family together is the couple that started it. So my wife and I have the privilege of having five daughters. And we have continued some of the rhythms that brought us together before we were married. And we’ve carried on so yesterday was date night. And so we went for a fabulous drive in our little convertible and had a nice dinner and celebrated our life together in our time together and talk down some things and yeah, that was definitely one of the highlights of yesterday
David Ralph [3:26]
and having five kids you probably got a lot of rhythms I imagine.
Dr Tom Preston [3:31]
Yeah, there’s been lots of rhythm over the years, David, for sure.
David Ralph [3:34]
We could almost battle it out. I’ve got four daughters and a boy. So we’re almost like a fighter side pocket. Soccer Team.
Dr Tom Preston [3:42]
Yeah, absolutely. We could or in Canada course we could play ice hockey.
David Ralph [3:46]
So while we’re talking about football, the World Cup is going on the female Women’s World Cup. Are you keeping up with it?
Dr Tom Preston [3:54]
Yes, actually, I am in Canada is actually done well finishing up the top of their initial and making to that group. About 16.
David Ralph [4:01]
And do you think it’s one of those things that really is coming to changing the world as in when I was growing up, the last thing that you would see was a lady’s football team. And now not only have you got a lady’s football team, you’ve got more than one and not to build a world count, but actually being celebrated and followed by us as kind of men that maybe 25 years ago would have shied away from it, is it an indication of how things are hitting an equal balance, and we’re celebrating what life is all about?
Dr Tom Preston [4:32]
Yeah, I think it is David actually, because, you know, the essence of who we are is much more than just our physical presence, whether we’re wearing a male or female Earth suit, and, you know, watching a bit of the matches, some of I mean, these ladies are performing at an extremely high level. And that’s one of the attractions for me is to just watch human beings perform at a high level, whether it’s in the corporate world or the athletic world, or, you know, in their personal lives. And so just being able to observe that passion and inspiration And that that peak performance and that’s inspiring to me. That’s one of the reasons I watch.
David Ralph [5:04]
And I’ll use somebody that naturally gets inspired. Are you one of these people that can find the essence in the simplest of things?
Dr Tom Preston [5:13]
I would say maybe more so than some but certainly not. Not every day David Right. I mean, I have those those lower days for sure. But yeah, I definitely have a tendency to look for the the genius and all things are the blessings and all things. One of my great teachers taught me years ago, David, a law that he perceived that I’ve completely built into my worldview, which is called the law of balanced energy. It says all things in life are balanced at all times the universe is balanced at all times, there’s equal hot to cold and dark to light. And so you know, when something is perceived as negative or low or quote unquote, bad, I have trust that there isn’t flip side to it. And, you know, by doing a bit of introspective thinking, I can commonly come up with, you know, the flip side, when that’s done. The key to this whole show Join Up Dots is all about looking over a person’s journey. And as we say, connecting the black dots and the white dots. And most of the not, the black dots are the real learnings. They’re the ones that might have been very difficult going through them. But you look back and you realise that you couldn’t have moved on to your next stage in your life without them
David Ralph [6:22]
touching with your clients is that’s a message that you need to get through to them on a daily basis, as they are developing themselves. But yes, you’ve had struggles you’ve had trials and tribulations but actually that’s the gold.
Dr Tom Preston [6:37]
Yeah, absolutely. David, it’s an ongoing struggle as a professional coach consultant to help people you know, see the balance and and or have trust that in the moment that there is balance, they may not be able to see it right now. Because, you know, one of my favourite little quotes is that life has to be lived forward but can often only be understood backwards. And so the question is, can we have you know, trust or if you will faith in the most That there is balanced there is an equanimity here. And you know, with some introspection and or just with time, we can see that because you know what my experience is David? Is it every person I’ve ever met, including myself, the worst critic that I have is me. And the worst critic, my guest, David, you have as you. And so how do we keep that inner critic quiet enough so that we can carry on, you know, with our mission with our purpose with our journey, That, to me is one of the great dilemmas of the human experience. It’s funny, actually, to Tom because
David Ralph [7:30]
I don’t think I have that in myself too much. I think actually, I have to rein in the Go for it. It’s going to happen. Don’t worry about it kind of signed to me. I don’t think I had that sort of critique too much. It’s kind of blind faith I have more often than not, if you put yourself out there and you do something. And of course you persevere and you put the effort in, which is the hard bit. It is going to sort of pan out in the long term. So you think that most people have that sort of inner voice that says you’re not working The that’s not gonna happen. What’s the point?
Dr Tom Preston [8:03]
That’s been my experience? David? Yeah, for sure. So congratulations on being one of the people that doesn’t seem to have that experience because I contend that it’s it’s the, you know, the biggest block to our, you know, success in life is the individual. And so if you’ve found a way to clear that block for yourself, I mean, kudos to you. That’s, that’s, that’s incredible, because my experience now being a professional coach consultant for 18 years. That isn’t that is not sort of the the norm and if you will, in my experience, I’ll tell you where my block
David Ralph [8:33]
is Dr Tom Preston. And I’ve realised this going through is actually providing value to people and assessing what that value is worth for the individual. I have a mental block, and I know this and I know lots of people have this as well. If I’m creating a product, or if I’m doing coaching or mentoring, I kind of think in my heart of hearts. I can’t afford fat, where there’s no reason for me. I don’t know what their bank balances are. I don’t know whether they’re going to be able to do it. Know, is that something else that people struggle with finding that true value in themselves to push forward to the world?
Dr Tom Preston [9:07]
Yes, I think it is. Right and so again this this can be another, you know, facet of the diamond of people, you know, being their own worst critic is that, you know, what, what value do I bring to the world? And is it enough value to charge you know, fairly for it. And you know, that that judging a book by its cover, David, so to speak, I had a lesson early in my chiropractic practice that taught me that and I had a young lady come in, who was on, you know, mother’s assistance, and she looked like, you know, a stereotypical tough girl she had leather and she had lots of tats and she had, you know, piercings and things and I thought, Oh, boy, this is not my, you know, my ideal client, ideal patient at all. And, you know, we were offering her she really needed us some significant care. And so, I was judging the book by its cover, and I thought, you know, why am I bothering I was going to give her a report of findings and explained to her the challenges and what I felt like, you know, she would need and it was quite an extensive amount of care over the course of six to 12 months, and I thought she’s not gonna be able to afford it and it’s waste, she’s wasting my time and, and then I literally just caught myself in my moment of judgement and said, you know, just stick to your game plan, stick to your systems and just, you know, treat her as a human being. And so I laid out this, this care plan for her and sort of said, you know, so now the decision is yours as to whether you’re ready to invest the time and energy to go ahead with this. And it was amazing to me, she goes, Yeah, where do I write the check? And she was going to write a check for several thousand dollars for this care in advance. And it absolutely blew me away. And I was kind of stuttering and muttering and she looked at me and she goes, You don’t remember me, do you? And I said, I’m sorry. Apparently not because you gave a talk at a YMCA, a mums and tots group three years ago, she says, I was so touched by what you said and felt so strong and me and my family needed to be under your care. She said I’ve been saving a little bit out of my mother’s allowance checks every month for three years to be able to come and afford your care. Well, she brought a tear to my eye David right because it was a great lesson for me about prejudging book by its cover, and just being present in the moment with a human being that’s in front of me without judgement, and just, you know, offering them what it was they could do and not being attached to the outcome. So I definitely think that there’s a there’s a piece, it was a huge learning for me, if you will, one of my black dots, David, that has served me well in my life.
David Ralph [11:19]
What a fantastic story. And I’ll be honest, that choked me up a bit, that the fact that she didn’t have the income, but she could see the value in what you were providing that that really must. And I know you told the story, and you probably told it many many times, but that must be will choke you up even now thinking back on it.
Dr Tom Preston [11:37]
It did David right. Can I be honest, I’ve shed a few tears on the platform sometimes telling that story because it just it humbles me to to realise the depth of some people’s commitment to themselves and to their health and to their families. And, you know, she not only got under care, she got her son under care, she got her boyfriend under care. I mean, it was just a phenomenal piece. And you know, I think I contend David, that, you know, my worldview says that our inner self, our higher self, our what I call our most authentic self, is always looking for the right people, places, ideas and events to cross our paths to teach us the life lessons that we need to learn. And she was a phenomenal teacher. For me, I celebrate her. And that was more than 20 years ago, David.
David Ralph [12:21]
But that’s only a course going to happen if you are willing to put yourself out there, isn’t it, which is the stumbling block that so many people have when they got a job, and I go to work, and then they come home and they sit on the sofa and they watch a box set and they get up and they go to work? You’ve got to start living it to really find those people to cross your path.
Dr Tom Preston [12:42]
Yes, I agree. Right. And that’s, you know, one of the things that I’m not even I hope I don’t offend too many of our listeners today, but I’m not a huge fan of this trend in our culture towards reality television, you know, and it just, it seems to me like every time you turn a channel, there’s a reality TV show on right now. And to me, it’s just just people living their life and it to me the attraction is that people are so bored or dissatisfied with their lives is that they’re willing to sit and watch in front of the television and watch someone else’s life unfold and I would far rather live my life and have it unfold for me in my ideal they’ve been sitting, you know, passively watch someone else’s life unfolded. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Wouldn’t it be fantastic though, because
David Ralph [13:21]
I’m, I don’t watch Telly at all. Really, I’ve, I will occasionally turn on and watch a movie, but actually potentially Not at all, as we say in the United Kingdom. But when it’d be amazing if you could have reality TV of your own life. So you turn on and you actually see what you’ve done through a week or so. And you’ve been Oh my God, I’ve done nothing. Well, what am I doing? That would be a good reality wake up one
Dr Tom Preston [13:44]
day, right. And one of the things I get my new clients to do my new consulting clients to do is to do a, you know, a variation on that, but they do a time study on half hour grids about you know what it is that they do all day. And then what we look for is the connection to what we call their core values, which to me He is the the personification of who they really, really deeply are. And and you know, when we look for congruence, these are more likely incongruencies between how they’re choosing to spend their time whether they’re consciously choosing your subconscious or unconsciously choosing how they spend their time. And the vast majority of my clients, you know, they, they realise that there was a lot of incongruencies between how they’re living their life. I’ll give you an example, David, gentlemen, a client of mine, happened to be a chiropractor. And when I looked at his time study, he was watching on average 35 hours of television a week, it was by far short of sleeping, it was by far the biggest activity or the most quantitative hours of activity he did even more than what he did in his business. And so, you know, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, the great American writer, he said, you know, your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear what you say. And so what I challenged this guy with I said, Well, obviously your highest value is recreation or entertainment or television. And he was all offended. And he said, How dare you say that? And they said, Well, look at you. Time, this is where you’re spending most of your time. And it was a real sort of slap in the face for him in a wake up call, because he didn’t realise that you know what it happened. And it turns out David, as we went through the process of discovery, we realised that the reason he was doing that it was an escapism thing from the reality of a pretty tough divorce. He’d gone through with his spouse, and after 33 years, they broke up and he was really hurt by it. And so, you know, in his grieving he was just basically lamenting and television and you know, that wake up call by doing that time study really helped him see that, you know, he was wasting his life and kind of gave him a kick in the butt and he got off the couch and started you know, living his life more in his ideal rather than, you know, just continuing the grieving process on the sofa.
David Ralph [15:45]
But But did he really need to do that exercise? Surely he should have known but he’s sitting on the sofa all the time watching Telly, surely.
Dr Tom Preston [15:53]
Well, you think so. David, right. But again, I mean, he, there was some part of him i think that you know, was troubled or knew that something wasn’t ideal, or why would he reach out to you know, me and my company to help him? Right. So I think there’s a part of him knew that but he needed someone that he trusted to sort of give them a little jolt, right.
David Ralph [16:10]
So let’s take you back because obviously you’re doing a lot of things at the moment. And it sounds like you’re Uber successful, but of course is a journey to get to these things. And if we take you back to the sort of the young doctor Tom, before you was even Dr. Tom, you were just Tom running around. What What was your essence? What was your values for life in those days that you could have imagined yourself being when you got older?
Dr Tom Preston [16:35]
Well, your great question, David, right. And as I reflect back on my child, I mean, I had a good childhood I spent an enormous amount of time in the outdoors and you know, I think a lot of mothers do this but my mom used to say you know, I hope you have one just like you because apparently I was a fairly fiercely independent little custom, you know, did a lot of things very independently and I remember one time David where I I literally played hooky from school and I you know, did the thermometer On the light bulb trick to make it warm and then I splashed some water in my face to look ill you know that covers Yeah, exactly yeah. And literally once you know mom come in oh I’m not doing too good mom I need to rest at home today and she goes oh you’re sick and she took the temperature anyways and once she took off to work, I you know sprung up and put on my snowshoes and took my my little pellet rifle and I hiked that was nine and a half years old and I hiked three kilometres through the woods to to one of my favourite little hunting grounds and you know, spent the day hunting squirrels and cooking over the open fire And so again, I you know, I would be terrified to think that one of my children with as a nine and a half year old child, but so lots of time in the outdoors, lots of sports. I have an older brother and younger sister so there’s a particularly my older brother, lots of competitive sibling rivalry, which I think actually helped us become, you know, have that little bit of competitive edge that helped me get through university and some studies and many adversities in my life.
David Ralph [17:58]
So So what did that give you That, that, that day marching through the woods, because that sounds like a lot of effort. But there must have been something that was drawing you forward to do that. Bear in mind that you could have got home and your mom could have found out and then all hell could sort of kick off. So what was really sort of dragging you into the woods said,
Dr Tom Preston [18:18]
you know, I’m not 100% sure, David, but my sense is I’ve always from as long as I can remember very, very, very strongly connected with nature. You know, different people have their form of ceremony or worship or their church or Cathedral. And I’ve often said that my church, my cathedral is nature. I just feel really, really at one they’re really, you know, I don’t want to sound too cliche, but but really Zen. They’re just, it’s, it’s a place where I feel free. It’s a place where I feel connected. It’s a place where I feel like I belong. And, you know, in hindsight, I mean, heavens, it could have been, you know, bears and wolves and things. I mean, you know, there’s sort of some some terrifying things, but I didn’t even think or reflect on those things because I feel so connected to that. So I think also too For me, it’s just as an extension of that there’s that sense of independence. David right that I could, you know, sort of do it myself and be out there and enjoy my life and my ideal and, and that that energy has served me well, but it’s also one of my dark dots as well.
David Ralph [19:14]
Did you still have places like that that grounds you very simple pricing, I’ve got a place near me. And ever since I was a child. It’s called Hadley castle. And it was a castle that was made for Henry the Eighth, many hundreds of years ago. And now it’s kind of, you can see it’s a castle, but there’s hardly any of it varies up on a hill looking over the River Thames. And I used to go out there as a kid, and we’d fly kites and we just have picnics and stuff. But even now, if I have a particularly bad day, I will go up there and there’s just a freedom of spirit. That really sort of takes me back and just makes life feel better. And so if I ever say to the family come and go off to the castle, more often than not, they will know that I’ve had a rough one. And I just want to sort of break free from it. Do you still have Those kind of places where Dr. Tom now will go to escape and the family will go out that’s gone off of there. Let’s leave him alone for a while.
Dr Tom Preston [20:08]
Yeah, for sure. And Matter of fact, I bought a wilderness property here in Canada, that is a it’s a five acre island in the middle of this fairly large, you know, 17 kilometre long lake and there’s only four other properties on the lake. So most weekends, there’s no other human beings there was just, it’s just Mother Nature and me or us, you know, and I spend an enormous amount of time there with the family but I also spend an enormous amount of time there alone. And, you know, thanks to technology with satellite internet and so on, you know, I can actually run the business they’re not in fact, the very first call I ever did with a client David was actually a woman from the UK that I was working from and she was in her flat looking out over the River Thames and I was in my, my Wilderness Lodge, with with the sunroom hanging over the water’s edge, looking six kilometres up this beautiful lake in the Canadian wilderness and, and we were connecting and doing a consult. So yeah, that that place is is definitely my you know, one My sanctuaries to reground me and reconnect me. And also David, that freedom of spirit peace you brought up for me I do my best creative work when I’m there my creative writing my journal that sort of pieces of my business, that’s where I really flourish
David Ralph [21:13]
and you go on your own or do you bring the family? How do you follow Ishmael?
Dr Tom Preston [21:18]
Yeah, absolutely a bit of both, but it’s about a two hour drive from our home. So it’s not sort of like you don’t pop over for dinner or something, you know. But we do go very regularly. And I last summer, for example, I moved in for the entire month of August and I was there by myself for a lot of it and you know, the family kind of came and went and different weekends and stuff. And my family’s really clear because we have daughters and my wife and they’re like, we don’t want to ever stay there alone. Because, you know, there’s literally the next closest human being is probably 50 kilometres away. But I really relish that that piece in that solitude dividend, it really, it really speaks to me.
David Ralph [21:52]
Well, what I’m going to do now I want to take us to stage two of the conversation I normally do that by punctuated with a sound clip and I’m good Do the same. So these are the words that Jim Carrey said recently, and that’s so powerful. Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [22:06]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [22:33]
Now, the question that I’ve started posing is, do you love what you’re doing now? And did you love it when you started? Is it the process of makes you realise that the thing is what you should be doing?
Dr Tom Preston [22:47]
So I would say David to the 99th percentile, I love what I do. I mean, I’m an early morning guy. So this morning and I was up at 5:30am our time and I have my morning rituals that I do which involves meditation and yoga and Tai Chi. And then I went for a beautiful hike with my dog, you know, pre this, this interview. And that’s, and that’s my time, David to, you know, to get grounded. And then from a place of that groundedness I feel like I can serve, you know, my clients that from my highest place from my highest good. So I would say for the most part, David Yeah, I do I look forward to every day. I mean, there’s dark, there’s dark times, and there’s challenges and so on. But I do I do love it very much. And going back to a question you posed earlier, did you know about my childhood, I was just one of those kids that for whatever reasons other kids were kind of drawn to and they were always asking, I remember when I was a sixer in my little Cub Scout, you know, good club and stuff, you know, and I remember children coming up to me and asking me questions and asking advice. And I guess you know, I was actually coach consulting back long before maybe there was ever any any any exchange of service or dollars, David right. But I feel like a lot of times there’s things in our childhood that point to us, the things that we may end up doing in our in our adult life, and certainly that was a A piece that I’ve reflected on recently,
David Ralph [24:02]
well, it comes up every single episode and the strap line at the whole show, certainly at the very beginning, we don’t touch on it as much is building our futures by connecting our past looking back at that really young version of you, that just loved doing stuff. And we can already see this with you. Now, you like freedom, you like to connect with people, you like nature, you like expressing yourself. And those things were clearly evident when you were a five or six or seven year old. But it’s a bit in the middle, we find Dr. Tom that people forget, when you come through the education system, you got to get a job, you got to be sensible. You’ve got to be focused and all that kind of stuff. And people are just channelled into environments that don’t play to what they used to love doing. And it’s a crying shame.
Dr Tom Preston [24:49]
Yeah, I agree. Right. So I already mentioned my older brother is a medical doctor. There’s two of us in the healthcare professions, at least that’s our backgrounds and you know, my older brother I as I do Find commonly siblings are, you know, you don’t really perceive them for what they are. But you know now in hindsight, I can see my brother is one of the wisest, smartest men I’ve, you know i’ve ever interacted with. And yet as a youngster, I thought of him as just a dumb sob, you know, just my brother, what can he do? And he went off to university ahead of me, and there was very few, you know, people and you know, of my family’s era, I’d 36 cousins, and there was only two that had ever gone off to university or higher education. And so my brother went off and I’m like, he’s gonna be home with his tail between his legs. He can’t cut it. And then he did very well, he was an A student at university, I thought well of that dumb sucker can do it, maybe I can do it too. And so it gave me some confidence even to myself to you know, to move through. And, you know, when I was in high school, I was thinking about all the kinds of different things that I do with my life and I was going to be a truck mechanic and I was going to be an aeroplane pilot, even though I’d never flown in my life. I was going to be a long distance truck driver. I was going to be an a lawyer. I was, you know, there’s all these different things, but for whatever reasons, David, I had the ability to introspect sort of see a future version of me. And, you know, I had a perception, for example, that a lawyer and I live in a big city and with my love of nature, I didn’t want to have to live in a big city, I might choose to live there for periods of my life, but I didn’t want to have to live there to be successful. Because somehow again, and this speaks maybe a little bit more to the blind faith use book. But I had a sense that I was going to be successful. I just didn’t know in what in what sort of field but as I went through high school and found that I was really attracted to the life sciences to biology and psychology and stuff, I thought, well, maybe there’s something I can do here and it’s sort of kept funnelling me down and I kept reflecting and reflecting and eventually I settled in on the initially on the profession of chiropractic but that was a great jumpstart and training ground for literally what I’m doing now David, which is the coach consulting work,
David Ralph [26:46]
and then did that tie into what Jim Carrey was saying that you took a risk on doing what you love or did you literally stumble into it? I mean, go. This is pretty good. I could see myself doing this for a while.
Dr Tom Preston [26:58]
I would say more of the format But I don’t really feel like I stumbled into it, it was a conscious intention of mine to, you know, to, to to become a healthcare professional and in particular, a, you know, a chiropractor. So no, it was something that I consciously intended to do. I just, you know, I just didn’t know if I had what it took to do it. And, you know, I realised quite quickly University, David, right, I went to the University of Toronto here in Canada, and I realised quite quickly that there’s a lot of people a lot smarter than I was. So I thought, you know, what, what I, what I what I lack in intellect or what these natural abilities some of these geniuses seem to have, I could make up and work ethic and I thought, you know, what I can, I can outwork them and I can still get the same grades and that’s, you know, that’s what I did. I worked hard and, you know, my experience aren’t that many folks that can outwork me mentally or physically. And that’s got me a long ways in life, but it’s also one of the things David that holds me back in life currently.
Unknown Speaker [27:48]
Why? Why does it hold you back?
Dr Tom Preston [27:50]
Well, one of my teachers calls it super person syndrome. You know, it’s where you think you’re, you’re so independent, you feel like you can, you know, do it all yourself and you end or you have to do it all yourself. And so as a result of this, you know, super person or Superman syndrome, you tend to be a little island unto yourself. And there’s there’s very little leverage or, you know, in that in that model of way of going through life, particularly in business, David, you know, and so I can definitely look back at my life and see how that thing that was a huge asset to me and continues to be an asset. I don’t want to paint it all dark. But it’s also one of the things that holds me back. Because if I get challenged or stressed, if what I’ll tend to do is default to working harder, not smarter. And so my new mantra is how to work smarter, not just harder.
David Ralph [28:35]
But I hate these over time about the superhero syndrome. And I know that any entrepreneur because they’re so kind of frightened or concern that they’re not going to earn the income will work harder than they would have done when they were an employee. And I certainly looked at the hours that I’ve done since doing this, and it’s literally slave labour, I would never have done it in a sort of corporate gig. But what I do think for me, is the fact that you really If you are an employee, you waste a lot of time. And by doing that superhero thing, actually what you’re doing, you’re training yourself to be able to perform longer and farther than you possibly could do before. Now, where it gets difficult is when you’re saying when you’ve got to that point where you could then hand it off, and channel those extra muscles into something else. You’re so ingrained with doing what you’re doing, it’s difficult to see the next path. And that’s when you need somebody like a life coach or a mentor to say to you Come on, Dr. Tom, you being a stupid person here, anyone can send that email now. You are better off doing something else. And that’s that that’s the next stage to success, isn’t it?
Dr Tom Preston [29:40]
I believe so. And you know, one of my little pet mantras again, David Wright, is you you brought up Steve Jobs before it’s, you know, Steve Jobs didn’t answer his own phone. Right. And so, you know, why didn’t he answer his own phone? Why did he likely not book his own appointments? Why did he have a team of engineers because he had he was an idea person. He had the ability to lead He saw something that could be created. But if he had to literally put in every microchip and do every little step and answer the phones at Apple and stuff, I believe that some of the products that I enjoy as an apple, you know, client wouldn’t wouldn’t exist today. So I think there’s a piece there, David about sharing your genius and not hanging on to it too tightly. That helps serve the world at a higher level. And then the other piece they would have been really reflecting on lately is the concept of succession. And if what it is that we’re doing in life, we feel is valuable and it’s bringing value to humanity, which I know that my service is, then is it worthy of creating a succession plan so that those concepts, those ideas, those principles, those values can be passed on and continue on long past my mortal existence. And I’ve been reading some things recently about some of the Japanese CEOs that are literally you know, developing business plans that are hundreds and hundreds of years long, so they can see how not only will it serve, you know, the business and the product but also the literally the country. And the culture of Japan? And how will they know the business is intertwined in their culture and will help serve their social order for a long time? That’s pretty big picture thinking to me, David, and I don’t feel like a super person that’s trying to, you know, keep everything to themselves is going to be able to create that level of impact on humanity.
David Ralph [31:17]
Isn’t that just guessing? Because I’ve been in corporate gigs for years and years and years. And I always used to do the, the quarterly projections and the six month projections, and more often than not, it was never right, because something that they were expecting to happen didn’t happen. And you end up just sort of guessing all the way along the line to do 100 years, you couldn’t possibly guess what’s gonna happen, can you?
Dr Tom Preston [31:41]
Well, I don’t think you could guess what’s going to happen, David, but my understanding from some friends of mine that runs some pretty big corporate gigs, you know, their job is to literally hold the values of the company and to also hold the vision for the company in steer, you know, sort of where it’s going. So, ya know, I think if you get rigidly attached to a plan, David, I feel Like it’s a recipe for disaster. But I also feel like you know, even if you get into things like the law of attraction, putting an intention forward for what you would love your life or your business to look like down the road somewhere, and then not getting attached strictly to the expectation of exactly what it’s going to look like, but steer the boat, you know, North versus south, so to speak. I feel like there’s wisdom in that.
David Ralph [32:23]
Talking about the law of attraction because we kind of touch on that a lot. And funnily enough, I had jack Canfield on the show, and he was kind of reluctant to talk about it, but he could understand why so many people go against it as something hokey. Do you buy into the principles of VAT in your day to day life? Or is that something that you think Yeah, it’s a bit hokey as well.
Dr Tom Preston [32:46]
Well, it is a bit woowoo for a lot of people but for me it is but it’s a it’s a real thing. It’s a part of my worldview. I’ve seen way way way too many experiences in my own life as well as in my clients lives that that validate you know, that that that view, so no, I definitely I see it as a part of it. Matter of fact, it’s a fundamental part of our consulting programmes is to help people literally tap into what’s truly, truly, truly deep inside of them that they’d really really love their lives to look like. And to hang on to that and to put that energy forward. I find most people, David are just my experience. Now, after 18 years of doing this work, most people are living their lives, you know, unconsciously they, they don’t know what they’d love it to look like, and they bitch and moan about how it’s not what they’d like it to be, but they’ve never spent the time to reflect what they would love it to be. And so they’re just sort of, you know, filling the voids of their life with different things, and commonly not being very contented happy with that, and I really don’t think that’s the purpose of life. David, I think there’s a lot more ability to be happy and joyous and share, you know, our gifts and our dreams where there are other brothers and sisters on the planet. And, you know, somehow rather the darn thing just keeps spinning on its axis, David, and it just keeps working all 7 billion of us that just mesmerises me sometimes. I think there’s 7 billion of us on the planet here and it just, it just seems to work somehow.
David Ralph [33:58]
Well, it works. as a conduit for opportunities as well, doesn’t it because you’ve got 7 billion people on the planet, if you are starting a business, but we we talk about this all the time, you only need a tiny, tiny percentage of those 7 billion to become very well off. And that is a mindset that you have to overcome very quickly, don’t you but it is a global community now that you are not restricted to what’s walking past your house or your property, you can literally connect to every angle of the earth. And the fact that you’re sitting on an island in the middle of the river in Canada, and your first client is in London, he really sort of emphasises how we’ve never had so much opportunity in our life.
Dr Tom Preston [34:41]
Ya know, I think there’s never been a better time to be, you know, an entrepreneur, I’ve never been a better time to be alive, quite frankly, in human history. I mean, even what we’re doing today, using the vehicle of Skype over the internet, I mean, that that literally didn’t exist, you know, 20 years ago. So there’s lots of opportunities and I was listening at a seminar speaking out in Toronto a few years ago. There was a brilliant PhD from UCLA, Berkley and he was talking about how, you know, literally at that point, Google which is a verb and a noun and so on in our culture today literally didn’t exist at that point like 14 years previously. And you know, he was talking about how many of the job opportunities our children or our children’s children’s will have, literally those jobs don’t even exist today because that the company hasn’t even been formed, you know? And so, I come back one of my favourite authors is a an author named eine Rand and, you know, the fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged are some of my favourite books are from her. And, you know, literally when I think about that concept of bringing the best that’s within us forth to the world, without reservation and without apology, and just, you know, sharing that that those inner gifts that each one of us have, I really contend strongly with that we all have inner gifts, just some of us have had the opportunity to realise them, and others, you know, perhaps maybe haven’t, but if we just share what it is that we’re supposed to do, from the inside out, it really works. Like for example, David, you talked about you Inspiration earlier and I’m very inspired by what I do. But I also have a very inspired plumber, thank goodness you know and, and marks an amazing guide. He’s inspired about plumbing Isn’t he can talk about American Standard toilets for hours and talk about faucets and, and I mean, this guy’s inspired to come and unclog a toilet for me and stuff, you know, and I’m thankful that he is there because I have no desire to be, you know, involved in that side of life. But I’m really thankful that he’s inspired to do that, because it allows me to do what I do. My accountant is as dry as Melba Toast David, but phenomenal person. And I’m glad that he does what he does and is inspired by what he does, you know, and so again, I think if we tap into what it is that excites us and is passionate, then we’re inspired by that, to me is a guiding light to what it is that we’re meant to be doing on the planet.
David Ralph [36:45]
So if I stripped you down totally, and you could only do one thing, and of course you’re spinning many plates at the moment. What would be the thing that you know that that that really does light you up? That’s the number one thing
Dr Tom Preston [37:00]
I would say David it’s it’s, it’s helping people find their inner genius, it’s helping people find that, that most authentic part of themselves, it just, it just brings me some sort of intrinsic joy. It’s a it’s an odd thing. And I sense maybe that you also get that from what you’re doing David, you just you just have that ring in your voice when you talk about what you do and the impact you’re making on the people in the listeners, you know, so you know, whether that’s working personally with my daughters and helping them see, you know, the genius in them and helping them find their way in the world or, or whether it’s helping a client or whatever, there’s just some intrinsic joy that I get out of helping people find their their light, if you will, not their darkness and then and then helping them find a way to express it to the world because, you know, the world tends to there’s a thing over here in North America that we call the stone crab theory and you know, you get a bunch of stone crabs in a pail and one of them tries to get away the rest of them will commonly reach up with their pinches and pull it back down. You know, it’s almost like people are uncomfortable with other people’s genius and their ability to express themselves fully and they almost want to create this homogenous mediocrity of like vanilla ice cream, you know, to use a metaphor and, you know, I would rather experience you know, rocky road Tiger tail orange ice cream, David and all these different sort of flavours that are unique to whatever it is that’s genius inside of that person. Because I contend that the more that people would connect with that, the more of the challenges that we see in our culture around you know, social problems and family problems and stuff. A lot of those things would would would would minimise David because people would just be that much more joyous and happy with what they’re doing on a day by day basis.
David Ralph [38:35]
No, I agree totally. Um, through the show, we’ve got an elite coaching platform, and we’ve only got 15 people in it where we decided to keep it very, very small, but it’s quite a high end and so people spend quite a bit of money to get into it, but we do monthly coaching and daily coaching and all different things through the team. And when you’re talking to these people, you can see it is like a flashing sign above their head of what they should be doing. And you see them light up when they’re talking about a subject. Now, it might bore me the subject they’re talking about, but you can see, but they’re so infused by it. But the bottom line is when I pointed out to them, this is what they should be doing. They kind of can’t quite grasp it to begin with, because it’s just them. It’s not a quality. It’s not a skill. It’s just an enthusiasm. Three days later, once they’ve been thinking about it, they come back and it’s like, they’ve turned a tap on a faucet, and it’s just flooding out from them. I’ve had these ideas, and I’ve had these ideas, and it’s just coming from. It’s amazing, isn’t it when the clues are there, it’s in you all the time, but you only have to have somebody else pointed out to you. And then it’s kind of realised somehow and you’re ready to take it forward.
Dr Tom Preston [39:49]
Yeah, I agree. Dude, I think one of my coaches and mentors, you know, from Dallas, Texas, in the United States, and, you know, we were talking about purpose and really using that as a Northstar to you know, To guide life and, you know, in this example, my life and you know, when I first wrote my first purpose statement, which Webster’s Dictionary defines purpose as the reason something exists or is done, David and I always like that. And so for me, it’s like, you know, finding my purpose in life was was something that was important to me, it just seemed like it was a guiding light when I was confused, and, you know, not understanding why something was happened, I could at least come back to the north star, you know, to sort of speak to guide me, you know, out of the darkness. And so, you know, my first purpose statement, David 30 years ago, was very long and verbose in several paragraphs, and you know, but the kernel of truth was there. But here’s my point, going back to what you just illustrated so well, when my one of my more recent coaches working with me, when we were, you know, refining and refining, refining this, he says, you know, Tommy says, I feel like you’re expecting like, you know, some writing on a cloud or burning bush to come down and tell you that this is what your purpose is. He said, at some point, you have to have the clarity to just choose it. And there was something in his words that I thought was very brilliant and so literally My purpose in life that would have boiled down to really just two words because it feels you know, the shorter and more concise, you know, the more clear which is to inspire authenticity in everything that I do in my relationships with my family, with my friends with my clients. And there’s so much clarity in that, for me, and for me so much power, I think have another very strong purpose statement in the Disney Corporation, for example, you know, and Disney’s purpose is family entertainment. And it just, you know, that can be a guiding light to help people get to that place. But the point I want to real estate, David is that at some level, it’s a choice. It’s a choice that this is my direction in life, but commonly having a mentor guide in your life to point that out to you and it seems, is very wise and very helpful.
David Ralph [41:43]
So when you were asked that question many years ago, when is enough enough, which seems to be a life defining question for you. Did you understand what that guy asked First of all, or was it really hang on, I just really don’t get where you’re going with
Dr Tom Preston [42:00]
No I feel like I caught the enormity of the of the question David but at the time I hadn’t thought reflected long enough on my life to have really a clear answer to any one of those questions you know he was asking me how do you know enough time with your wife is enough how do you know if money is enough? How are you marketing your business don’t have enough time with your children’s know how do you have time for yourself? Isn’t it How do you know? And it was like you know like fire hose stop the fire hose I’m drowning over here I’d really didn’t have the answer that but but intrinsically if I wanted the answer to those questions, because it would allow me to design and live my life in my ideal because my experience David with people is commonly when they come to me at least so far everybody that’s coming to our companies to for service in the coach consulting world, they buy into somebody else’s ideal somebody else’s definition of success, whether it comes from Hollywood or Bollywood or or one of their mentors or a platform speaker or something, you know, and and I’m not suggesting that it isn’t wise to collect data from all these wise you know, people in the world and so on in different you know, sources, but at some level to just stop long enough to reflect and just think about what it is it’s important to me as an individual, and how I define success. One of my driving forces David has long been, we I’ve had, you know, the opportunity, I guess you’d call it maybe sad as it is to have people pass away from, you know, from, from the physical form and die and grandparents and uncles and friends and so on, you know, and it’s like, man, I was thinking it would so suck to be on your deathbed and have regrets or resents about how you lived your life. And I often think, David, that that’s the definition of a midlife crisis. You know, it’s people that wake up one day in their 30s 40s 50s 60s whatever it is, and they go, crap, I, I’m not living my life, I’m living somebody else’s life. And I think that the shock of that just used as like a wake up call, and it commonly creates all kinds of chaos in their lives and quitting jobs and buying Harley davidsons and unbuttoned their shirts to their navels and stuff, you know, but going off on, you know, pilgrimages to Machu Picchu or to Alaska or something, you know, but but the ultimate piece of that. I think in my experience, at least one of the driving forces is buying into somebody else’s definition of success, instead of just stopping long enough to think about how I define success for myself, which would give you the answer, David, two questions like, How do I know when enough is enough?
David Ralph [44:15]
Because I think I’ve had two midlife crisis. I think the first one was when I was 30 years old, and I just walked in one day and decided to quit the job that I was in and walk out. And I had nothing planned at all. But I had no family at that stage. So I could just sort of be free. And I did fine. Now looking back on it, I think my midlife crisis, when I was 30 was in competition for what I thought I should be getting, compared to what others weren’t getting that I could see around me. So I think I was looking at a totally different way. When I went for this. It was 43 years old. 13 years later, it was the first time I walked out and I thought I don’t care about what anybody else is doing. I care about what I’m doing and ultimately what I want Do is inspire the world to get off their backsides and go for the life that they deserve. And it was a totally different mindset that I had. Now, it’s not until I have these kind of conversations, I reflect back on it, but I can sort of follow them back into a word into sentence or whatever. But I think that’s how I felt at the time, I think a very much the younger version of me was in competition. And the older version of me was just settled somehow, if that makes sense to you.
Dr Tom Preston [45:28]
Yeah, it does. David, you know, and, and, you know, just I had a variation of that, of a midlife crisis, where, you know, I was, I loved my practice. I love the hands on work that I did. As a chiropractor, David and I had a very successful practice very, lots of families, and I really focused a lot on prevention and wellness. We had lots of children in the practice, and I really love kids. So it was just a joy to go to work, but you know, not paying attention to some of the subtleties of what may be the next step in my life was, I was the chiropractor with the bad back, you know, I had a unrelenting low back pain every day of my life. It was for four and a half years. And I really feel like for me, my wife says that I’m stubborn, I just say I’m determined David, right. So it’s all perception, but it took literally that much pain. And I mean, I was in pain, and I was getting treatment. I mean, I was seeing my chiropractic colleagues and getting massage and acupuncture and all kinds of, you know, different therapies and physiotherapy and so on, but it just literally my body wasn’t responding. It wasn’t healing. And for me, David, that was in hindsight, of course, I can look at it as you just said, you could look back at your life and put it in a sentence but for me, it was literally I needed that pain, if you will, to knock me enough times in the in the back in this case, or you could say the head but in order to tell me that, you know, what I was doing was not what I was supposed to be doing next. And so literally David, I had a defining moment I I did one of my live programmes a mind body spirit retreat that our wilderness property, and I came back from that it was awesome. August of 2001. And I came back from it. And I said to my wife, I said, Honey, I don’t think I need to keep doing this. I don’t think I need to be in this much pain anymore. I’m going to sell, sell the practice. And I was expecting a rather heated discussion, right? Because we had five daughters. And literally, I was going from a six figure income to basically no income. And we were one income family. And like, what did that mean? And it was very scary. But I took the, the leap of faith, if you will, they were right, because I literally felt that when I didn’t have any choice, I’d cut my hours back in my business, I brought on an associate to help. And literally my wife looks at me and she goes, Okay.
Unknown Speaker [47:35]
And I said, Well, are you crazy?
Dr Tom Preston [47:36]
I said, we’re not having any income. We got five kids to raise, we got commitments, we got responsibilities, and she goes, you’ve never steered us wrong before. Why would I think you’d start doing that now. I brings up a lot of emotion from you to the right, because that the faith and the trust she had in me as a human being was just, I mean, she’s definitely one of those, one of those pillars that keeps me going on a day by day basis. But at some point, David, I had to take the entrepreneur leap of faith which it sounds like you did as well, which is leaving something that was safe and secure and comfortable. And I had a reasonable level of mastery at to go into the abyss of something that I felt, you know, called the do which is the coach consulting work I’m doing now David and I, you know, I definitely feel like I’ve met a kindred spirit in you in helping people recognise, you know, their inner genius, their most authentic self and express themselves from that place. That’s what I’ve committed my life to.
David Ralph [48:24]
I had an email the other day from a lovely lady that I used to work with called Charlotte. If you’re listening, Charlotte, this one’s about you. And she had been listening to lots of my shows. And I used to train I was a financial trainer in the company that we work for. So we were very close. I actually hired her for the first position. And Sharla actually wrote to me I’m going to read out over email here so apology, Charlotte, I’m going to share this for you. She says hello, David. How are you? I’m miss you. I wanted you to know that today. I resigned I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been miserable. I need to go now before the light inside me goes out. I know you know what I mean? Do you know what when I was there in that meeting room with my hands gripping my notice letter, while shaking with fear and adrenaline, I thought of you and it got me through. I just wanted you to know that. Not sure what I’m going to do since I’ve nothing lined up. But that actually is really exciting. I hope you in the lovely family well, and I hope to see you real soon. So when you see that, and I went back to and I said, what you’ve done is already the hard bit after but it’s not too hard. You make decisions and you you take choices and you just do what needs to be done. But that is the key part, isn’t it? Taking that one bit of action? And that’s quite a profound email. I think once you think
Dr Tom Preston [49:38]
I agreed I think it’s a profound email and go kudos to you for inspiring her. One of my mentors in our professional chiropractic said you’d never know how far reaching something you may think say or do today will affect the lives of millions tomorrow to get get the big idea and all as follows. It’s better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness. That was Dr. BJ Palmer back in the 20s You know, I really feel that’s true, David and I definitely echo your sentiments. The key is to have the courage and that’s the word I’d use the courage to, you know, take that step to take that that first step, which is usually the biggest step, and cross that chasm, and have trust David, trust in yourself, that you have, what it takes inside of you to know what to do and when to do it, and how to do it. Or you have the ability to figure it out. Or you have the ability to ask for coaching or mentoring or guidance to help you figure it out. That it’s there’s a, I don’t know what the word is there. But the one that jumps to mind for me is trust. Trust in yourself, trust in your abilities, trusting your, your inner guidance mechanism, if you will, that it will guide you to the right people, places, ideas and events to take you forward in your life towards what it is you’re meant to do. What I’m hearing, David from a lot of the people that know more about this tonight, the PhDs in social psychology are saying that, you know, the old days were commonly you’d work for, you know, 50 and 80 years ago, you’d start to work for one company and you’d work until you got your gold watch and you’d retire Well, those days. pretty much done. And they’re saying that now the children graduating, you know, in this era of high school and college will likely have six or seven completely separate careers throughout their lives. Then at one point, David, I think that’s terrifying for them. And the other point, I think it’s fascinating and fabulous because it just allows them to experience so much more richness and depth in life. And I think that’s, you know, one of the things I keep bringing back to my children is to inspire them to not be afraid to go out there and do that because you know, what they’re doing or what they feel like they may be headed for a life is not something that they need to do for the next 30 or 50 years of their lives, and dreaded into drudgery and all of that, but to do it until they feel called from within to not do it anymore, and then have the courage to follow that inner inkling or that inner voice.
David Ralph [51:45]
I agree totally. And we’ve Charlotte I love Charlotte Tibbets, as I say I was her first manager, and I know that she is going to go off to great things and that email when she sent it through to me, it didn’t not well essence of me when Oh my god, what she done it was thank god she’s done that, because I would be letting her down if I met up with her and she was a 50 year old and she was still in that office and she was still doing work that she hated. And that can happen quite easily comment and you see it time and time again. But people get to a point where like, oh, I’ve been here too long now. I’ve got too much to lose. I’ve got too much work. And I now go back to rubbish. You’re only here once. What have you got to lose? Literally What have you got to lose? You’re on this planet. And unless somebody tells me something differently, you’re here for 8090 100 years, what have you got to lose? And I think most of us wouldn’t say, Oh, I might lose a bonus or the ability to sit behind a computer screen for eight hours a day moving a spreadsheet from one side to the other. What we will lose is the ability to be running across a field with the wind in our hair in the afternoon, or touching people’s lives or inspiring them or just doing stuff that really makes Africa I’m alive and means that for the rest of the time on the planet Sharla can get out of bed and go like you do. Great is another day. What am I gonna do? I think it’s hugely brilliant.
Dr Tom Preston [53:11]
No, I do as well, David, you know. And here’s another piece David just to add to this dialogue, you know, it literally and he’s it might sound like some strong words to some of the listeners, but I think it’s selfish, David to be doing something that you’re you don’t love to do, because it’s like you’re hiding your light and your genius and you know, I lose my example of my inspired plumber, Mark, you know, if he was, you know, I don’t know selling shoes or something. I mean, it’s a valuable role to play and I’m glad someone sells shoes so I can buy some, but if you know if his true genius, his true gift to humanity is being a plumber, then to me, it’s selfish to you know, to not be a plumber. And at the same time, David, if I’m doing something that I’m not called to do or inspired to do, it’s like I’m blocking someone else who might be inspired to do that job by me having that job, you know, so I really feel strongly and I agree with you that you know, being able to just feel that that that piece inside of us that says this is the direction this is what I need to do, this is what I want to do. And what I commonly recommend to clients David is, you know is, is initially in the early going, keep it to yourself, you know, seriously just keep it to yourself for a while because so many of the naysayers are like the stone crabs want to pull you back down and give you a million reasons why that’s a stupid idea. And you know, why are you doing that and you’re gonna miss out on your bonus or your this or your pension or whatever, you know. And yet in my opinion, David, a little piece of those people’s life spirits dies every day, that they’re not doing something that inspires them that they love to do. I say exactly the same thing. Yeah.
David Ralph [54:35]
As soon as you have that big idea and you think of this is it, just keep it to yourself, write it down on a bit of paper, stick it in your pocket, so you can keep on looking at it. But keep it to yourself because you say it to the nether you sits next to you and she’s gonna go What do you want to do that for? This is a good job and all the doubts it can. It’s built on sand in the early days, isn’t it?
Dr Tom Preston [54:56]
It really is there right? And so again, you know, keep it to yourself and Until you’ve reflected on it and so on, and maybe you have one really, really close confidant, eventually you’ll, you’ll start to, you know, discuss with and bounce around ideas and stuff. But in the early days, definitely keep it yourself because those naysayers can really, you know, undermine you and you know, using your example, they’ve just washed the sand out from underneath you. And before you know it, you fallen on your backside, and now you’re like, No, I’m just safer to do this. You know, there’s that there’s that safety thing, David, I think that, you know, probably there’s some evolutionary advantage to us, you know, when we were in the caves and come out, looked around, and there was this big furry thing with big long teeth, and we thought, well, is that safe or not? And, you know, then, you know, Borg didn’t come back because it get eaten by the Sabre toothed tiger, you know. So, I think there’s an evolutionary piece to wanting to be safe. But I feel like in today’s culture, we’ve taken away two extremes the pendulum has swung way too far over to wanting to always be safe. And yet David, there’s something as you know, about just just that, that that revelation inside that, that just lights up person up or you know, in this case, lights Meet up to just know to not not believe David, but to know because it’s one of my teachers taught me years ago, there’s a big difference between believing something and knowing something. Because anytime you say, Well, I believe that to be true, there’s always a little shred of doubt in the back of your mind. But when you know something is true for you, then it gives you that self confidence to just, you know, keep moving forward day by day. And here’s the illusion. I think some people have David, they feel like Oh, so if I’m doing you know, what I’m inspired to do and what joy is, to me what I feel called to do that there won’t be any challenges. And that’s rubbish. That’s not true. There will be challenges. But you know, there is, there’s something about overcoming or working through a challenge when you’re inspired to do it versus when you’re not, that just makes the end result so worthwhile. There was a day David where I used to do a lot of weight training and so on and you know, and I was at this at the gym and there was this wonderful school Mom, Mom, you know, who’d retired with the little crow’s feet look like a classic schoolmarm? You know in a in a retired era, and, you know, anyways, I just finished this big set of leg press. And there was just a pool of sweat underneath of the machine. And she looked over at me and she said, that looked hard. And I said, Yeah, it was kind of joking. I just said, Will it ever get any easier? And she smiled at me with only the wisdom of someone older and wiser. She looked at me and she goes, yes. But then you’ll just make it harder again. And I got in that moment, David, that in that example of weight training, resistance is the purpose of the exercise that there’s value in the resistance, you know, there’s value in the struggle and and when my experience for me to have it in my clients is that when you’re struggling, so to speak with something that you’re inspired by, the struggle doesn’t seem so intense, it doesn’t seem so demeaning. It doesn’t seem so much like a struggle, because it feels like it’s part of the process and you just figure out a way to go up around it through it over to render it.
David Ralph [57:47]
Well. That’s probably the words. Now that became the whole theme of the show, and they were said by Steve Jobs, and he certainly was somebody that was on a hell of a journey. And he had these obstacles, huge obstacles, but more After midnight, he came back stronger each time.
Steve Jobs [58:02]
This is Steve Jobs. Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference
David Ralph [58:39]
on how you words that have resonance to you Dr Tom Preston.
Dr Tom Preston [58:43]
Yes, tremendous resonance for him. Right? It’s like I was saying earlier I’m not sure if it was on on camera, but you know, it’s like life has to be lived for but can often only be understood backwards. And I can see now have so many events that happened in my life happened at the right time, you know, at the Place in order to nudge me to move me in the direction I was meant to go, I just at the time was too blind to see it.
David Ralph [59:06]
And does it give you confidence to move forward now that you can look back in? Join Up Dots?
Dr Tom Preston [59:12]
Yes, 100%, right, because I’m not wise enough to understand why I’ve attracted everything into my life. But I have much more trust from years and years of experience of introspectively. Looking back and going, Oh, so that’s why that happened. That’s why that occurred. That’s why. And so I have this. I don’t want to call it blind faith ever. But I will definitely call it trust that everything that’s happening is happening for the right reason. At the right time. My brother just reminded me of something that we just got back from a bucket list fishing trip, we were gone to a huge lake here in Canada for a weekend with some of our friends and my brother. And you know, he was reminding me of something that is important that he says, Don’t forget brother, he said, just listen to your language. And when you hear yourself saying, Why is this happening to me? He said, just shift it to why is this happening for me and that little shift in language If it can make all the difference and and just having that trust that you know, whatever this is, is as dark as it may seem at the moment, it’s happening for a reason. And that reason serves me.
David Ralph [1:00:09]
So what would be your big Dottie in life to take that sort of twist of words that your brother was talking about? What would be the moment in your life that probably wasn’t the best, but you look back on and go, yeah, that was the making of me.
Dr Tom Preston [1:00:22]
Well, I would say one day, but I brought up earlier was that you know, my this unrelenting low back pain that I get every day in my life for four and a half years, I had an 11 minute commute to my office, David and I would commonly, you know, during some of those dark days, I would cry in my truck on my way to work because I knew how much pain I was going to be in, you know, through the day. And literally, David I was so attached to my identity at that time. And I you know, I believe I’m in a place where I’ve let go of so much of you know, my, my identity and you know, I identified myself as a chiropractor, not just a chiropractor, but a successful family chiropractor, and I had all these labels, labels, labels, instead of just recognising that I’m just a beautiful child of God. Some of the time I was a chiropractor, and some of the time I was a father and some of the time I was an athlete, you know, I was very attached to my identity. And, you know, I would offer, you know, just other piece of language there. My ego was very attached to that. And so I needed some mechanism to, you know, literally beat me down. Because I was just too blind or to dumb David to recognise it, that while what I was doing was serving, you know, me Well, at that time, it wasn’t what I was meant to continue to do. And one of my mentors years and years and years ago, David, he said to me, said, Tom, a guy with your energy, you know, you could see 1000 people a week in your practice and help them tremendously that or you could help 50 or 100 other doctors build the life and business of their dreams, and you know, therefore impact 10s of thousands, he’s please It’s not better or worse. This is not a moral discussion. It’s really just about what size of a sandbox did you want to play in? And I realised, David now in hindsight, looking back that, you know, that unrelenting low back pain and that those dark days, were really there to guide me into what I’m doing now, which is, you know, inspiring people to live authentically to live their purpose to live their mission and help them design a plan for how to do that. And again, I’m not minimising the impact I had on humanity with what I was doing before. It just feels like this is what I’m supposed to be doing now. But it took those dark dots David to use your example two to guide me into what it was I was meant to be doing now.
David Ralph [1:02:23]
Well, let’s send you on another journey just as we bring the shows to an end. And this is the part of the show that we call a sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Dr. Tom before he was Dr. Tom, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m gonna play the theme tune and when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic
Unknown Speaker [1:02:55]
bit of the show
Dr Tom Preston [1:03:00]
Dr Tom Preston [1:03:11]
hello there young Tommy. This is your older version of self. This is sr, this is your now a doctor. And you’ve been able to help a lot of people lead a better quality life as a result of that. And you know what little man, I’m going to offer you some advice that can only be seen backwards. But you know, don’t worry so damn much. Don’t worry about what other people think so much reflect more on what it is that that you believe and you know to be true. Follow your heart, follow your gut, it’ll take you places you never could. And also young man, you watch your language. And I don’t mean the cuss words. I mean, watch your language because it can guide you. When you hear yourself saying things like I ought to do this and I got to do that and I need to do this and I should do that. You know, be careful because you can shoot all over yourself. Because those are someone else’s voices. That’s not your job. heart that’s not your true inner voice that’s calling that voice uses terms like I choose to, I’m inspired to I love to let that be your guide in life young Tommy, because that will take you places you never could have learned to trust yourself. Trust your inner voice trust your inner guidance, because that will be the thing that will guide you in this life.
David Ralph [1:04:21]
Dr. Tom, how can our audience connect with you?
Dr Tom Preston [1:04:25]
I would love for them to check me out on the worldwide web David Right. I mean, you know, Dr. Tom Preston calm that’s Dr. Tom Preston calm and certainly I’d be happy to connect with them David, or if they’re interested. My private email is Dr. Tom Dr. Tom at Dr. Tom Preston Comm. We’d love to connect with them and and hear their story and hear their journey and see if there’s maybe a way that we can help them connect their dots. We’ll have all the links on the show notes.
David Ralph [1:04:51]
Dr. Tom, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe about joining Adding up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Dr. Tom Preston, thank you so much.
Dr Tom Preston [1:05:07]
Thank you so much, David for inviting me and thank you so much for what you’re doing and for following your your inner guidance, it’s making a difference on the planet.
David Ralph [1:05:17]
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Join Up Dots brought to you exclusively by podcasters mastery.com. The only resource that shows you how to create a show, build an income and still have time for the life that you love. Check out podcasters mastery.com.
Now, David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.