Welcome to the Join Up Dots Free Podcast Interview with Tisa Cawthon
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Introducing Tisa Cawthon
Tisa Cawthon is my guest on todays episode of the Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
She is a lady who won’t let things in life get in the way of what she wants to achieve.
She is an amazing woman who overcame a near fatal car accident, chose to remove her left arm, became the US National Champion in the Paralympics, competed in the World Championships in New Zealand, and is now a brand-new mother.
That’s not a bad start for any introduction.
But the key thing to this story, and is what we will delve into in great depth, is how most of the things may not occurred, if she hadn’t realised that mentally she was holding herself back from what she could achieve.
The Moment Life Changed Forever
As she says “I was in a car accident 17 years ago. So I had to always wear this sling and didn’t have any motivation to move forward.
My arm was paralyzed, a bronchial plexus injury,”
She was intrigued and stimulated by here friends stories of running marathons, so set off to achieve the goal herself.
But the whole experience was one of pain and distress, as her paralyzed arm pulled down the entire left side of her body, causing knee pain and even whiplash.
It was like running with an anchor attached.
She began to realize that her paralyzed arm not only weighed her down physically, it was a metaphor for all that was holding her back from living life fully.
The anchor was weighing her down.
Keeping her in one position, and stopping her moving towards the future she craved.
How The Dots Joined Up For Tisa Cawthon
So she realised that removing the arm, was going to be her saviour.
Cutting the ties with the past could very well be the best thing that she could do.
So she started considering amputation.
“I wasn’t there before, I think, emotionally” she says “I knew it was going to be different. The outward appearance is very shocking (to people); it’s different now. I used to be asked all the time, ‘What happened to your arm?’ when it was in a sling,”
Making the decision to undergo such a major surgery proved difficult, even though she knew intellectually it was the right choice.
Her solution? Set a series of athletic goals that would only be possible after the surgery.
Make the surgery the first step to achieving what she wants in life, and wow hasn’t she done just that!
So, has the whole process been one that going back in time she would have done earlier?
And does she see that the power of the mind, truly outweighs the capabilities of the physical body?
Well lets find out, as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Tisa Cawthon
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Tisa Cawthon such as:
Why the problem solving skills that she has had to develop have become so finely defined since her accident.
How she attempted her first marathon, and hated every second. It almost brought her to her knees.
Why there should be no short cuts in life, as it’s the hard work and persistence that brings the true rewards.
Why she now sees her injury as a blessing in disguise, which has allowed her to find her true self.
How To Connect With Tisa Cawthon
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Tisa Cawthon Interview
Today’s episode of Join Up Dots is brought to you by podcasters mastery.com. If you’re looking for a way to boost income, explode your sales and get your voice out to the world go to win a masters. podcasters mastery reveals the exact steps that will take you from a complete novice to an established expert and beyond, and so much more to test drive the information and see behind the scenes of the number one podcasting training in the world today. Go to podcasters mastery calm now, when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:57]
I tell you what, wow. I’ve done 413 episodes of this and I must have done something wrong with my speakers that blew my ears off. So if I’m a little bit deaf and I query what the guest is saying today on the show, do apologise, it’s bad. I’m not a professional. Well our guest today is a professional and she is a lady who is going to rock it big time because she is a lady who’s really the target guests for our show because she’s a lady you won’t let things in life get in the way of what she wants to achieve. She’s amazing women overcame a near fatal car accident chose to remove her left arm yes chose to became the US national champion in the Paralympics competed in the world championships in New Zealand, and is now a brand new mother or she was the last time I was told you might have had two or three but that’s not a bad staff. Any introduction anyway. But the key thing to this story and it is what we will delve into in great depth is how most of the things may not have occurred if you hadn’t realised that mentally. She was holding herself back from what she could achieve. And she says I was in a car accident. 17 years
Now, she used to be asked all the time what happened to your arm when it was in the sling. Now making the decision to undergo such a major surgery proved difficult even though she knew intellectually it was the right choice and her solution, she set a series of athletic goals that would only be possible after the surgery, make the surgery the first step to achieving what she wants in life. And wow, hasn’t she done just that? So has the whole process been one that go back in time she would have done earlier and does she see about the power of the mind truly outweighs the capabilities of the physical body? Well, it is a deep one. I wrote that one myself and that’s deep. Well, let’s find out as we Join Up Dots with the one and only Tisa Cawthon. How are you Tisa?
Tisa Cawthon [3:43]
I’m doing well, thank you. What a beautiful introduction. Thank you so much.
David Ralph [3:48]
You deserve it. And did I get your name right? Be honest.
Tisa Cawthon [3:50]
You did. You did? Yeah. I was actually the first name. The first name is the is the what I go by Tisa, there’s not many. So it’s a You know what I have people focus on.
David Ralph [4:02]
You got one of those names is a beautiful name, but it must be a nightmare but people must either get the first bit wrong or the second bit wrong. Do you find that all the time?
Tisa Cawthon [4:11]
Yes, most of the time Yeah, it’s it’s that’s why I say I just focus on the first name and rarely need to use my last name because there’s not many pieces out there.
David Ralph [4:22]
There’s no you’re the first one I’ve ever met and I’m pleased to meet you a course. So thank you so much for coming on the show because I know you were saying this the first time you’ve ever done anything like this and you’re kind of new to the whole technological advancements called Skype and stop so we are connecting globally. Is it blowing your mind but we can do?
Tisa Cawthon [4:43]
It is I do use FaceTime but Skype is something that I haven’t spent a lot of time using. So I love that. This is a something that can connect so many people’s is it’s a beautiful thing.
David Ralph [4:56]
I heard I never use FaceTime, but my kids do and I heard from one of my wife’s friends the other day that she left her phone on her seat of the car. And her dog’s backside facetimed her mum. So when the mum actually sort of got the picture, it was looking up something that you really wouldn’t want to be looking at now, that is a reason to stop using technology, isn’t it?
Tisa Cawthon [5:21]
Yeah, that would be really good to post and how other people see it. Yeah, maybe the vet?
David Ralph [5:27]
I don’t know. I don’t know where you would post that. So so let’s get into your life because it is a fascinating one because although there is a physical aspect to it, to me, the fascinating part of the story is almost mental. It’s more mental, the fact that you had certain decisions that you made that were like cutting an anchor from the past and moving you forward. When you look back on it now. Does it feel like that Do you kind of go I should have done it earlier really
Tisa Cawthon [5:57]
a little bit mentally had to get there. And that took me longer than I, you know, looking back it took me longer to get to that point than I would have liked. I would have liked to have started everything about 10 years prior to, you know, when I actually did the amputation because
David Ralph [6:18]
yourself when you say I actually did the amputation, you didn’t just start cutting now
Tisa Cawthon [6:22]
that’d be a whole new story.
David Ralph [6:24]
Being an extra episode of recalled
Tisa Cawthon [6:26]
word. Yes, I know. I saw some fantastic doctors and I also had pain I had like, I want to be heard of Phantom syndrome pain. And so they were able to working with the doctors that I did, actually amputated my arm. It took away a lot of the you know, Phantom syndrome pain as well. But it did. It literally freed me up. And both physically and emotionally. You know, for a lot of things because I had to learn to look at myself.
In a way where I had to, I had to learn to accept myself, like, you know, looking at the mirror, accepting the reflection, because there’s no real hiding of it where before you know, my arm was in a sling, I could kind of hide it. People thought it was, you know, an injury of, you know, whatever season it was. So, you know, whether it was a skiing injury in the winter time or you know, something of that nature. So, it things just you had to get real I had to get really honest with myself, which was completely a very I don’t know what it Besides, it’s stronger than the word of freeing. I mean, you just you feel like, as soon as you start to accept yourself, like truly accept yourself.
The little things just kind of fall away.
David Ralph [7:53]
Whether that’s a big thing in life generally, isn’t it the people that become truly authentic and actually just played Surround streams. And we talk about this time and time again on this show. But that’s when it all sort of comes together. And it must be terrible. And you know, I don’t want to dwell on the amputation, because that’s not a big part of story. But when I look at you and I’ve got a couple of pictures here, I see a very attractive lady. And the last thing that I noticed really is that you’re missing an arm. I it must be different when it’s your own. Because that’s the core when you’ve got I don’t know a boner on your face or something. That’s all you can see. But Do people really dwell on it now? Or do they just see you for who you are a vibrant, attractive lady doing her own thing? that surely sort of that that personality that you’ve got now that’s coming across on these podcast? dazzles to the point but you wouldn’t notice that surely?
Tisa Cawthon [8:46]
Well, I would hope not. But that’s, that’s for them to process not for me to worry about.
So So how do you know how to do
David Ralph [8:55]
things, certain things and I’m Kelly Hill who was a guest on our show. She introduced me to you. And she said to me on one of these things, it stayed with me. Every morning I wake up, and I think about this. And every night just before I drift off to sleep, you’re in my mind. And she said, You are an amazing lady who can actually hang a very large picture on. And I was thinking, How is that possible? Now, this is my mental barrier, because I’m thinking, how do you hang a picture? When you’ve only got one arm? How do you do that?
Tisa Cawthon [9:28]
Well, there’s a lot of little things I’ve learned. Well, my backgrounds interior design, that’s what I went to school for.
And, well, a couple things. So I get to the right height, and I use my body, you know, pushing up against the picture, you know, to hang it. There’s just little tricks that I’ve learned early on. When I first had my accident. I was 17. And my mom was tying my shoes and they were you know, this was a few days or a few days after I came home from the hospital. They were just so tight and so uncomfortable it took me I don’t know five minutes maybe to tie my shoes for the first time cuz I couldn’t handle people doing it um so you do just learn and you adapt
David Ralph [10:13]
with sandals wear sandals that
Tisa Cawthon [10:16]
oh no I learned to learn to tie my shoes I still tie my shoes now to go you know running I do have I do have quick laces now since I was doing trap ones are speed laces because they’re faster to get on and off. But um, yeah, you just you learn to compensate.
David Ralph [10:35]
Yeah, I’ve had to learn to do van a van now because I had a lady on the Show Episode 213 called Jessica Cox. And she’s the first lady to learn to fly a plane with no arms, both of arms gone. She does everything with her feet. And she was telling me how she used she does her shoe laces up and she kind of ties them with a fee and then slips 113 and then sort of like ties it at an all the time I was thinking just wear slip ons. It’s gonna be easier to do it but I wasn’t brave enough to say it now I’m 200 episodes further down I’m gonna say it to you what’s the plane surely it has things back and do stuff easy I mean use easy things
Tisa Cawthon [11:15]
I well because tennis shoes have their their need for me I mean I want to wear those
David Ralph [11:23]
tennis shoes surely
Tisa Cawthon [11:25]
yeah their speed laces and stuff. But you don’t get the same adjustments you know i it really just depends. It doesn’t it isn’t a hurdle for me it’s just my sense of normal is different. You know certain things I do. You know, I have my husband helped me with a little bit more actually. There’s not too much now. That we have a baby but you just you learn that it’s my new that was my new normal say My new senses since a normal so it’s not you know, don’t feel sorry for me I wouldn’t feel sorry for me. You just you figure out what ways to get the things you need to get done that are important to you to get done. It’s important to me to wear tennis shoes every once in a while because that’s what I walk a run. hike. So I need I need that
David Ralph [12:19]
that didn’t expect to be grilled as a tennis shoes. Did you when you come on this show? That’s okay.
Tisa Cawthon [12:23]
I could bet 10 years.
David Ralph [12:27]
But But it’s interesting because when I have these conversations with people like yourself and Jessica, and there was a lady called Chris hearty, who was on the show, it makes me realise that actually the the people that are how do I say? I don’t know whether it’s physically impaired or disabled, whatever is the right word to use now are actually able bodied people were the ones that seem to have all the opportunities to do stuff because it’s so normal to us. We don’t and by having something thrown at you like You did, you’re forced to assess a different way of doing stuff. And because you then managed to do the smaller things it leads on to bigger things and bigger things. Did you see what i’m saying on that?
Tisa Cawthon [13:13]
Yeah, well, it’s my perspective is a little bit different than other people’s because I’ve had some challenges thrown at me and one of the things that I’ve failed with the people that I’m friends with now that are physically challenged, and I wouldn’t say it’s a physical challenge because there are out there all athletes and exceptional athletes, but you just I guess, like, you get one thing you just you get, you get used to it. There’s excited most most mostly it’s my sense of what’s normal to me. Like this is this is not Anything, you know, challenging anymore, it’s that this is just my, my world.
David Ralph [14:09]
And in many ways, it’s a more glamorous world, isn’t it? Because you have been competing at a level that perhaps you wouldn’t have been able to? If you had the upper arm? I imagine it would be a totally different ballgame. Did you look at it? And you sort of accept that point. It’s taking you into areas of positivity and motivation, but it wouldn’t have had it’s almost been a gift in many ways.
Tisa Cawthon [14:35]
It has it’s opened a lot of doors. It’s basically one of the things I was point I was trying to make that I completely forgot, was because of how these challenges and other people are set off to have these challenges, physical challenges, you have to problem solve. I mean, we’re you have to learn to problem solve and so my problem solving skills are you know, are pretty Well honed like they continue to build. And that’s something that that I think you’ll find with most physically challenged individuals. Because we have to think sometimes before we physically go do stuff of how we’re going to organise it, or what are we going to need? How are we going to, you know, get through the door with all this gear and one arm? I think one of the hardest things I did as a triathlete travel was travelling. Because I had my bike in a big bike box, I had my, my, you know, travel gear, and here I have one arm and this giant bike box and I’m pulling it through the airport trying not to, you know, jack up my shoulder because I’m gonna have to swim and bike and run afterwards. So there’s,
David Ralph [15:46]
I would think that that’s something that you’re going to see a lot with athletes, as well as visually challenged individuals is that problem solving skills are going to be pretty strong on those individuals. And do you feel that that was always In you or have you as you say, You’ve honed now, Have you always been somebody that would be very analytical and would look at a certain way as a problem to be sold?
Tisa Cawthon [16:12]
Yes, I think too much of it’s almost like an addiction we had many years ago. Well, I don’t know how many years ago now. So I’ll just say six. I had a thought of travelling My partner and I, we wanted to we were going to move we were living in Southern Oregon, and we didn’t know where we were going to move to. And so we thought, well, let’s get an RV. And in my mind, it was okay. As an interior designer, I’ve never done this kind of project. So let’s get one that we renovate. So we took an RV and renovated it and travelled to kind of get, you know, a new perspective and find you know where our new home was going to be. And that to me was like, problem solved. Okay, we’re going to figure out where we’re gonna live. But I want to go fill out these places before we you know, commit. So yeah, I guess I’ve done things just a little bit differently. So So,
David Ralph [17:13]
a lot of ways if we took you right back to the early days of the real you, is there a big difference from that lady or young girl to what you are now where you are always looking for the physical aspect and looking for something to challenge you? Or have you discovered that because of the accident?
Tisa Cawthon [17:34]
Well, no, it’s real me’s. Yes, it’s still here. I’m I think as I’m getting older, I’m just getting more and more real. But if I look at the early, my early self I was very, as a kid, I was very competitive. So I was I was the fastest kid until boys started catching up in like the sixth grade. So athletics. You know, you ask a kid, you know, what’s your favourite? subject in school mine was PE and it was you know, I talked too much in class it was it was that type of stuff. So that is part I think is part of the real me so I got to experience that these last few years by doing athletics. I didn’t pair triathlon I wasn’t in the Paralympics Paralympics is is very separate. It’s just like the Olympics. It’s every four years follows the Olympics. But I was in pair triathlon, the ITU, World Championships, stuff like that. So actually the Paralympics, we’ll be showcasing pair triathlon for the first time in Rio of 2016, which we’re really excited about you go.
David Ralph [18:45]
Are you in in it?
Tisa Cawthon [18:46]
No, I’m not. Why
David Ralph [18:49]
are you becoming lazy?
Tisa Cawthon [18:50]
Yes, I had a baby. That
David Ralph [18:53]
shouldn’t stop you.
Tisa Cawthon [18:55]
I know I have a six month old now. I’m hoping to do one actually. It’s it’s Part of my goals to hit one in September, but my category will not be the category that I compete in. It’s just like, you know, everything else. There’s, you know, age categories, physical categories will not be there in the showcase in the Olympics and the Paralympics. There will be, I think there’s six categories that will be of male and female. So this this time, no, I don’t even have the opportunity. But that’s fine. That was one of the reasons. You know, we had waited also to to have kids I wanted to experience more. And I wanted to chase down some of these goals and dreams that you know, I had like a little seed that was planted for doing these athletics and I wanted to chase it down and do as much as I could, and I did, and I’ve been, I enjoyed it,
David Ralph [19:56]
and mostly I play I’m gonna play him in a moment. Because I feel the vibe is getting that way, but I sort of reference Rocky Balboa a lot on this show, but for many different reasons. And one of the things that was very clear in the last film if you ever saw it was that he needed one more go he wasn’t quite finished. It was still Yeah, him. You sound like the same person you sound. Obviously you’re a lot more attractive and Rocky Balboa, but I appreciate that. But But is it still in you that seed? Is it ever gonna sort of just die or is it just gonna sort of be there burning away at you?
Tisa Cawthon [20:34]
I think I don’t know. But it is something that I still feel as soon as I started doing triathlons. It was it was like almost like the first one was an epic, horrible experience.
David Ralph [20:50]
Why was he so Oh, it was
Tisa Cawthon [20:52]
it was I just wanted to quit it was like struggling to get across the finish line. I did not know what I had. signed up for the second Well, that was a new app on actually the second the first triathlon I did was Pacific Grove triathlon, here in Pacific Grove, California, which is actually the one I’m going to try to do again, coming to September. And it was, again, one of those things, I crossed that finish line and I was like, why did I do that? And then oh, this is wonderful. But because it was so hard and so challenging, I it was like nying at me, I knew I had to go do it again and do better. And so I took a class got hooked up with a great coach that was telling me about pair triathlon, that I could actually compete with other people that were physically challenged, which I’d never done before. And that’s kind of where the direction my life took for, you know, a couple years was training, training, training, training. Meaning in racing and seeing how fast I could get and I still don’t feel like I haven’t. I haven’t
Unknown Speaker [22:10]
I still haven’t feel
Tisa Cawthon [22:12]
I still feel like there’s more that I can give and do and I like I’m still learning you know, the speed was coming I still don’t feel like I’ve had the best run yet. So yes, there’s there’s more I want to do. And I that’s one of things I do love to do is, is
Unknown Speaker [22:34]
I love challenges. I do the same thing with with interior design. If it’s more challenging it is the more I will I kind of want to do it and if I’ve kind of failed edit it, you know, I go, you know, hide under my rock for a little while maybe but it gnaws at me and I want to go and I want to complete it and I want to just see what I what I’m capable of. Not what you know, other people are doing. Maybe but what what am capable of doing what’s my best I can understand this, I can understand it totally. I’m gonna bring the man on himself. So this is the famous clip from Rocky and then we speak about it afterwards. This is Rocky.
Rocky Balboa [23:11]
You mean nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take it, keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
David Ralph [23:28]
Now, I think that is so profound every time I listen to it, because it is it’s spot on, isn’t it? The fact that every success you have literally comes after about four or five years, and it’s that ability to keep on moving forward. And the fact that you did that first race and you I almost laughed, I shouldn’t have laughed because I’m a professional. But the fact that it was so painful for you and you clawed yourself across the line, most people would give up, most people would go Never again. I’m not going to do another one. But you just knew in your heart of hearts, you could just do it better or be more, more focused or whatever it was. Is that something that you think is missing? Because I see it time and time again, especially with my younger kids. It’s almost like it’s got to be given to them. There’s not that work, right? There’s not that effort. If I do a sport today, everyone has to come home with a medal even though half of them was rubbish and didn’t deserve it. Did you? Did you see that?
Tisa Cawthon [24:32]
Well, first, I remember telling my partner when we when I crossed the line on that first draft lawn in tears. Never again. That’s what I said never again. But it was it. That was so not true. I mean, I I knew that I wasn’t done after I healed.
It takes some time to heal. Heal
Physically I had to heal and mentally I had to heal after that first blisters as well. Oh yeah just exhaustion I my body wasn’t ready for it and I did some stupid things beforehand I didn’t know of like I went and basically rode the whole course the day before with Kelly, Kelly Hill. Um, we just we didn’t know what we were doing. Now, just as
David Ralph [25:23]
if our listeners haven’t heard Kelly Hill, you went out rowing the day before with a lady with a heart condition.
Tisa Cawthon [25:30]
Now writing, writing it was before this was we did our first triathlon or hers was her first triathlon. It was my first triathlon and that was probably five years ago. And Kelly didn’t have those issues then. But I do want to say if you want to find out what’s wrong with you goes train for triathlons.
You’re gonna learn what spots are weak on your body
David Ralph [25:58]
and wants to work because I Imagine it’s the swim because the way I would want to do it would be I do the run and then the bike and then the swim. I can never understand why from what I’ve seen the swims in the middle so you have to do the rest wet.
Tisa Cawthon [26:13]
What’s the point? swimmers first swimmers first because they don’t want you to drown I think because if you’re and you don’t want to be too tired on the bike so fall over and running, at least you can walk, you can walk with the run, so you’re less less of a hazard.
David Ralph [26:29]
I’d be running around with talcum powder pouring it down me trousers and stuff trying to get myself dry as I was going I always thought I was a stupid way of doing it.
Tisa Cawthon [26:38]
Oh, I’m over hydrated. I’ve poured water over my head. I mean, I yeah, you do all sorts of fun stuff when you’re just learning how to how to manage you know, manage the whole core the trap on like, you know, kind of juggle it all but you know, you start somewhere you start whether it’s just walking or running and or cycling, maybe If that’s your thing, but for me, I needed to cross train because of my asymmetry of just having one arm. When I was doing, like, trying to run, my left side was a lot weaker. So I was getting knee injuries so I had my physical therapist, he had recommended that I bicycle so I started cycling and that’s kind of how everything started and then swimming just began Okay, well, I guess I can swim. Let’s just do this. And that’s, you know, that’s kind of how I for me I did do triathlons is because it’s it’s not doing one specific thing over and over and over again.
David Ralph [27:42]
It’s getting really hot swimming, isn’t it? We want surely.
Unknown Speaker [27:46]
No, I’m just not super fast. You don’t just go in a circle or something. I
David Ralph [27:50]
have to keep a straight line.
Tisa Cawthon [27:52]
I you know, my body compensates. I it’s the way I scoop my arm a little bit. It’s a little bit different. But really citing, your body just learns to compensate. That’s something that I learned through all of this. When I was going into do arrow position I don’t have familiar you are with bikes. But you know, I had my road bike for a long time and I wanted to get into Aero position because that’s the most aerodynamic and it’s, you know, you’re down on your, on the, the, the bike bars, you know, in on your elbows, I would do that at like 1015 minutes at a time because of the amount of weight that my body was holding there because of my neck. So everything was very, it was baby steps, everything led up to all the transitions that I’ve made that have been the best have been baby steps. And that’s also what I think is a good metaphor kind of in life is you know, having those goals and making the baby steps to get there. Maybe as least the least painful as you can, because you know, when you’re stuck with a lot of pain, it takes a while to recover from. But no, I think
David Ralph [29:11]
I think you are right, I think it is the steps and the fact that for most of us going into any kind of new venture, we have dreams, and we’d be sitting at our job thinking, I don’t like this anymore. I don’t like my boss, I’m going to go and create my own business, I’m going to do whatever. And you have these sort of huge, great dreams and it forces you to take action. But then when you actually start it, everything is baby steps, isn’t it? Everything is you try one thing and then you work out whether it’s worked and you move on and you just keep on going. Do you find that that journey is as you say, it’s a metaphor for life, but do you think that is how life should be there shouldn’t be any shortcuts? It’s the growing the foundations of something worthwhile by the effort and the the trials and tribulations that go into it.
Tisa Cawthon [30:02]
I think you’re, I think you’re right with that. There is seems to be a lot that I have been able that I talked about with athletics, that are those building blocks that we’ve also used for the entrepreneurial things that I’ve done. There. There’s lessons in everything, even working at a job with somebody you don’t like you can learn some, you know, a lot of information from them that hopefully will propel you towards, you know, your goals, but I think having the goals are also very important. And things I mean, some people maybe it happens and things just happen overnight. For me, I haven’t found that
David Ralph [30:46]
to be the case. Nobody finds that to be the case today. Even even when Justin Bieber suddenly appears overnight. God forbid he was going at it for 10 years we had we had 10 years opportunity to stop Justin Bieber in his tracks. But we didn’t we didn’t learn from our experiences, but he still look like an overnight success. No, no such thing as overnight success.
Tisa Cawthon [31:07]
Yeah, I think it takes a lot of hard work and focus. It’s that hyper focus you, you know, a lot of things have to fall away to be at the top of your game, whatever your top of your game is to I mean, that’s very subjective. That’s something that you know, I think the word subjective is also kind of important because everybody, everybody is different. And everyone’s perspective is different, and everyone’s journey is definitely different.
David Ralph [31:41]
So So do you think it’s the comparisons that are the killers, the fact that somebody will be listening to this conversation and thinking, Oh, it’s alright for her. She’s done. She’s done that because we don’t really want to accept but you’ve gone through the pain that to get there we we like the image of fast track because it’s It makes it easier to submit our non action ourselves. There’s no point in doing it, it’s already been done.
Unknown Speaker [32:09]
Tisa Cawthon [32:11]
um, that’s, I guess it’d be there. If that’s their perspective, I think some people by comparing themselves, it gives them motivation. And if that’s what they need to use for motivation, then that’s you know that then I think that’s okay. It’s just you just don’t want it to be toxic. You don’t want to be like, a lot of negative feed that you’re giving yourself. I mean, you’re really going to, you know, if you’re comparing yourself to others, it’s not something that it’s going to make you happier. I mean, it might get you motivated for a while. I mean, competitive people, that’s, that’s fine.
David Ralph [32:50]
Because you never compare backwards, do you? That’s the problem. You never sort of like look at your own position, and then look at somebody who’s in a worse position and go oh, I’m doing all right. Myself, you always look at the people ahead of you and go, that’s where I should be. Why am I not there? That kind of image?
Tisa Cawthon [33:08]
Huh? Oh, no, no, I’m not sure about that.
Why? Why are you not sure that person? It’s the whole thing with the comparison and finding. I mean, finding someone that that Yeah, maybe has achieved some of the goals you’ve done and you want to, you know, get there. So mimicking a lot of their steps. Absolutely. But I think sometimes comparing yourself to others, erodes your own self confidence. And I think when you do that, that slows you down from your own development, emotionally. And I think that’s part of what our journey is about, ultimately, is developing developing these skills so emotionally, we’re happier. You know, we’re doing things that are better for ourselves better for our families. So I guess that’s where the word I guess comparison I don’t I just nod my head. Not my favourite thing.
David Ralph [34:02]
So if we took you back in time to that car crash, then obviously that that was horrific in your life, but in many ways, it seemed to be a good thing as well. Were you on a totally different path? Were you going off to do something totally different? What was your sort of agenda when
Tisa Cawthon [34:21]
I was still developing because I was 17. So still in high school. There was a lot for me to continue to build and, and do I was refocused back in school at that time. You know, I think my sophomore year I didn’t focus on school that much. But I was trying to get my grades up then.
that, I don’t know. I I don’t know what that Tisa would have become, versus the one post the car accident. I guess I haven’t spent a lot of times dwelling on that. Because that wasn’t a position. I could take or that I should spend that much time and energy focusing on. It was, you know, moving forward is going to be way more important than looking back on, you know, Oh, I wish this would have happened differently. Because these are things that did happen to me and they it’s created the person that’s talking to you, you know, right now. So, yeah, I guess I don’t I try not to look back on it as something that was, you know,
Unknown Speaker [35:32]
it’s an event that happened. It didn’t define you.
Tisa Cawthon [35:38]
Yeah, well, I mean, in some ways, it did physically, it totally defied me. No, they didn’t did
David Ralph [35:43]
it because because the physical aspect of you is such a moot point. Because, you know, I couldn’t swim and get on a bike and do all that running. So you know, it was it was more physical. You will me It’s you, isn’t it?
Tisa Cawthon [35:58]
Well, yeah, probably Not
David Ralph [36:00]
getting on a bike and running up and coming. You know, seeing pictures of me having you
Tisa Cawthon [36:09]
know, it’s all good, everybody’s different too. And that’s something that I think of, you know, with raising our, you know, my daughter, you know, my husband and I, we talked about this what, you know, what we’re going to focus on and, and it’s gonna be a lot of it’s gonna be her emotional maturity making sure that she understands her emotions because if you can have control of your emotions, I think that puts you in a more powerful position to make better choices in your life because you’re able to check in with yourself, you know, trust your instincts, when they’re, you know, you have strong instincts and intuition. But also, you know, you’re feeling a certain way control those things, just like with the Rocky Balboa You know, when he was trying to pick himself back up If you’re emotionally strong, you’re going to do that quickly, you’re going to bounce back quickly. And that’s one of the things that athletics does teach us is that you’re going to bounce back quickly. I wish I would have bounced back quicker. And many, many, many times, because I just emotionally wasn’t as strong. But that’s something that, you know, I think, is a key thing for all of us to learn is the emotional maturity and you know, how we’re really feeling and how to deal with those feelings.
David Ralph [37:30]
But I don’t think you can get that into your daughter. I’ve had five kids and I’ve also grown up, and I agree with you totally, we set our stall out to do exactly the same with our kids. But then when they go off to school, then you kind of lose them and you see it dwindling away. And I talk about this a lot because it kind of really winds me up but there’s not much you can do about it. The education system really defines your children in a way that you can’t get hold of it somehow and use See the fact that in the very early stages, your your daughter will come along and she’ll draw a picture and she’ll say, Oh, look at this, like it’s the greatest thing in the world. And then when I get a little bit late, older you go, Oh, why don’t you draw a dog like you used to rubbish at drawing dogs? Oh, I can’t do that anymore. You know, it’s all that kind of stuff. It just kind of dwindles away, but ability to be emotionally secure in themselves because of the peer group that surrounds them. It’s only when they come out the other end and they start fighting their corner as an adult. Do they kind of find it again? Now, fingers crossed, and that’s what this show is about. Somebody who’s gonna listen to this at some point of their life and go Yes, yes, you’re right. I can do this and make a go at it. But the education system and the first couple of years at work are real killer for what you’re trying to sort of push into your daughter, even though it’s absolutely admirable, and I would do exactly the same thing.
Unknown Speaker [38:53]
Tisa Cawthon [38:57]
we’re new to the parenting thing. I don’t
David Ralph [38:58]
want to bring you down to that. But yeah wasting your time.
Tisa Cawthon [39:01]
No, I appreciate appreciate your perspective. And yeah, that is something that education system is something that we’re very scared of. I mean, that’s it’s scary sending your daughter out. It’s for someone else to teach her. It’s, it’s scary.
David Ralph [39:18]
Well, what would you teach out of your life lessons if you didn’t have to? If you could teach from home which I know a lot of people do. And certainly in the early episodes of Join Up Dots, I never realised we could do the same in the United Kingdom. I just assumed that we set our kids to school, but that’s obviously because we just want time away from our kids during the day while I’m at school. So if you were like teaching her what would be the sort of big life lessons would you focus more on the PE because you liked it? Or would it be life skills? What would you focus in on
Tisa Cawthon [39:50]
for me Well, right now and is six months into parenting? Is it would be Yeah, life skill. Learning how to be an entrepreneur because whatever she’s going to learn to going to do later on, if she can learn how to make money, you know, with hertz and sales, dealing with that type of thing that’s going to translate in to whatever position she does if she works for somebody, or she does it on her own, but that’s something that I wish I would have had more and more education on because, you know, it’s later in life that I was learning about how to be an entrepreneur and all the things that go into it. You know, how to make money, how to see things as a way to kind of, you know, succeed. So, yeah, I would say those skills and then I mean, the reading, writing all that great stuff that that’s gonna all come and see what what things she’s interested in. I don’t know. I don’t know she may be totally different and not physically want to do be as active as I was as a kid.
David Ralph [40:58]
But he’s keeping isn’t it Making your own money. I say that to my kids now, my my son is at 13 now, and the others have all gone off to jobs, and God knows what but he’s like at that point where he’s got to choose what he needs to study. And I see all the other mums and dads saying, right, you need maps, and you need face and you need fat. And they’re kind of defining what the kids should learn. And I kind of say to my son, just choose what you get or enjoy, you know, just just go there because you’re gonna enjoy it more. It’s going to make the time go quicker, you’ll probably come out with better qualifications at the end. And more often than not, what you do study doesn’t mean anything in the real world. Now, if there’s any kids out there listening to this podcast, I’m not saying don’t go to school and don’t work really hard. But I do think that you’ve got to choose the subjects that you’re going to enjoy because it’s going to be a very miserable situation of three or four years studying something just because somebody told you to do it. Do you think
Tisa Cawthon [41:58]
I agree? I agree and
David Ralph [42:02]
lead with me on this show. Do you realise I’ve got my mouth what you’re like as a lady. I salute your husband. I do. I don’t know how he puts up with it.
Unknown Speaker [42:15]
I don’t know. I guess he’s an angel.
David Ralph [42:19]
You agree with me on that one?
Tisa Cawthon [42:21]
Yeah, I do. I really do. Because I think as someone I you know, I struggled a lot with school, because it didn’t hold my interest for very long. And the things that I was interested in, I became, you know, very focused on and, you know, I think that’s a it’s a good thing to do. I mean, you’ll continue to grow and develop and pick up other skills.
David Ralph [42:47]
What What do you think about the building an economy, around your passions, away from the standard careers that we’ve always looked at? Because I’m I’m desperately trying to build up platform where people can grasp the fact that if you love something, and you’re willing to work at it now with the opportunities that we’ve got, because of the internet and the ability to globally Connect, you can literally make money doing some really bizarre stuff. And I love the fact that that’s available to us. But until we you in it, you can’t really see that that’s possible. So we still have people going to become insurance brokers, because it’s a sensible job, or they’re going to work in banks with all the kind of things I did for many, many years. Do you see now that we are in a situation that literally passions and enthusiasm can create economy?
Tisa Cawthon [43:39]
I think you’re right. I think you know, with what you’re doing here with, you’re reaching out to so many people around the world. You’re creating a market, but it’s that niche market that people are now able to get into because we all have different tastes and desires and things that we want, we’re able to glow Get them. You know, that’s, I think it’s a Yeah, I think it’s I think it sounds fantastic to me.
David Ralph [44:11]
It sounds fantastic to me. And I just think, if I could create a pill or something that people could take, and then they can look around and go, Oh my god, yes, I could get a Skype connection. And I could talk to somebody in Oregon or I can speak to somebody where I was speaking to a gentleman just before we started recording, who I’m going into business with. And I’ve never met him personally, but he’s and all my business partners I’ve never met personally. And we connected I had this idea. I proposed it, he liked it. And literally in 15 minutes, we’ve created another business, which is kind of just running through and the ability that we’ve got now because I’ve connected with so many people and he’s connected with so many people, more often than not, you don’t actually have to do the work yourself. You are a conduit for those connections. And it’s those connections that really excites me and I think is the pure metaphor for Join Up Dots. Yes, it’s based around looking back over your life and connecting your past. But it’s actually a way of saying, We are a global entity. Now you don’t actually have to think that you can only sell to your next door neighbours or get a brick and mortar business and sell to whoever’s walking past. You can literally find your customers every corner of the world, which gives you so much opportunity to go ahead and live the life you want. I love this conversation because there is just a bound with possibilities.
Unknown Speaker [45:39]
Sounds interesting. I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do.
David Ralph [45:44]
It’s gonna be amazing, Theresa, do you know that
Unknown Speaker [45:45]
Tisa Cawthon [45:46]
I’m sure it will be you did. You’ve done so many wonderful things here with your podcast, so I’m sure that’s going to be fantastic.
David Ralph [45:53]
I’m going to teach one armed people to hang pictures. That’s what I’m going to do. I still can’t get my head round. So it’s gonna be a difficult business. But there’s, you know, in fact, you know, there’s a market that literally anything you think of Nowadays, there is a market which, once you get your head into that sort of avenue of thinking, you literally can go anywhere, can you there’s there’s no stupid ideas anymore. You have got a niche market out there because you can find them.
Tisa Cawthon [46:22]
I think you’re right here we one of the things that we have is a company called brain mind media. And it’s just these binary ol beat sounds with an ocean wave that my husband had created. And it’s we sell it online on Amazon. And it’s very, it’s, you know, it’s a small amount of money that we get from the sales, but it’s that niche market, and learning, you know, the things that we’re excited about, because we’re excited about creating that and then it was, you know, moving on to the next thing, but, but putting something out there that has that you know, create it walk away.
Unknown Speaker [47:00]
Yeah with it, you know continues to trickle in some some income. Yeah, make money while you sleep at the end of the show, you give me the link and we’ll link it to the show notes so people can go over. And they can either purchase it or or take an interest in the product from from Join Up Dots. Okay, great. We will do that. Well, this we’re coming to the end of the show. And it would be wrong for me not to play the whole theme of the show. And these are the words that Steve Jobs said back in 2005. So once again, here he comes is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [47:30]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart Even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference.
Unknown Speaker [48:05]
So deeply into those words that he’s saying now. Yes, I do. I mean, I, I do absolutely everything that I’ve spent my time and energy on. And the good, the bad, the ugly.
Tisa Cawthon [48:21]
Everything has it, you know, looking back, it does connect up. And it continues to build the person.
You know, that I’m becoming.
And yeah, absolutely. But I just try not to
you know, dwell on the negative things too, too much. But yeah, absolutely. I mean, looking back, one of the one of the pivotal thing that I did, too is in design school was, was studying interior design was the learning about the subjectivity of beauty, and that’s what I think is another thing that has helped me accept myself and love myself. It’s
David Ralph [49:03]
fascinating. But I yeah, it does all link up, you know, as Steve Jobs he called that speech into, into our consciousness. And he can link up all his little things. And well, what fascinated me with you was the fact that you said earlier in the show, even if you’re working in a job that you hate, there’s something in there that there’s always something now that comes with experience when you look back because when you’re younger, you don’t realise you even have to look back. It’s just life. It just happens and it moves on until you get to my age and you think, Oh my god, I ain’t got much time left, but I get going. But when you do look back on it, literally every single thing that I’ve done, even stuff done at the time, I thought it was a total waste of time. There’s something there’s something in there.
Tisa Cawthon [49:46]
Absolutely. We had a job where I was doing sales, I figured I wanted to be an interior designer and do it independently, so I needed to learn how to sell. So it took a sales job and at the time, it was very charming. By learned two lessons
in doing that, one of them was
I had never had Matt Oh, I had two migraines during that period, and I’ve never had a migraine since and hadn’t had any, you know, other ones. But that was not what I was supposed to be doing physically. My body was telling me, this is not what you’re enjoying, you’re not doing well doing this. And another thing was one of the one of my bosses, which he was a great guy. At the time, I wasn’t doing much he asked me what I was doing the weekend. Oh, nothing. You know, he was telling, you know, he was saying you need to do something worth talking about because you know, one, I’m in sales. But I also believe that applies to everything. By doing something, just anything. You’re continuing to move forward and you’re enriching your life and you’re making you’re, you’re building your happiness. Whether that’s, you know, you still have to work at a job five days a week and you have the weekends to build your happiness yourself. building it. I mean, you’re doing stuff that that juices you that makes you happy. And I think that yeah, that’s where we’re, I think, my job thing of doing sales what I learned from from that experience.
David Ralph [51:17]
So what would be a big dog? I’m grappling with your whole life really and more often than not when people have had something big and substantial happen to them. That’s not actually what we class that the big dogs are sort of defining moment when their life started going in the direction that they wanted. Can you look back and say, yeah, that’s when I started really getting hold of who I am.
Tisa Cawthon [51:41]
It was doing the amputation that was definitely when it was pivotal moment or time in my life where things literally figuratively dropped away.
I really had to reassess and look at my So
Unknown Speaker [52:01]
Tisa Cawthon [52:03]
I really had to look at myself and figure out who I was and where I was going and put some goals in front of me because I didn’t want to get depressed. goals can help me keep, you know, moving forward. And but yeah, that’s probably one of the pivotal moments. Um, you know, of course, other things physically it happened to me and emotionally had happened to me throughout my life. But that one was a big one, a very big one.
David Ralph [52:28]
Well, I’m glad it happened because I think you are in such an amazing place and you just sound so rounded and complete. And being a new mother is taking you to that next level. Although you will look very old in a couple of years time when the when the sleepless nights and all that kind of stuff. It’s all right in the first six months you can put up with it, but when it goes on forever, it brings you down It really does. I’m not selling it. I’m I’m not selling it well. Well, this is the end of the show now and this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic. When we say You back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger Tisa, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m going to play the theme and when it fades you up this is the Sermon on the mind.
Unknown Speaker [53:21]
With the best bit of the show, man, my man
Tisa Cawthon [53:37]
Oh, younger Tisa Hope you’re gonna listen to your, your older self.
Unknown Speaker [53:45]
Don’t run from the pain.
Unknown Speaker [53:49]
They’re gonna come through okay.
Tisa Cawthon [53:52]
Change is good. Till you grow, but just don’t run from the pain. Continue to listen to the people
that Love you. But don’t listen to the ones that are telling you not to change. Because it’s gonna happen and that’s what’s going to propel you forward in life. And you’re gonna end up everything’s gonna be okay.
David Ralph [54:13]
Lisa, how can our audience connect with you?
Tisa Cawthon [54:16]
Ah, sorry. Tisa tisa.com. That’s my website. Um, that’s probably the best way. You can also Google me. I’m, I’m on there. It’s, you know, a lot, Tisa phones.
David Ralph [54:32]
We’ll have all the links on the show notes. Tisa, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our paths is the best way to build our futures Tisa. Thank you so much. Thank you, David. Are you ready to take your life to the next level and then the level after that, but I’m unsure how to proceed? Well, don’t worry as Join Up Dots coaching programmes are developed to give you the skills confidence and connections to fast track your life towards the future you want with one to one sessions with qualified business coaches across the globe, action plans, group sessions and direct contact that future is assured don’t go it alone, but head over to Join Up Dots coaching. Now.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.