Welcome to the Steve Jobs based Join Up Dots Free Podcast Interview with Kim Somers-Egelsee
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Introducing Kim Somers-Egelsee
Kim Somers-Egelsee is my guest today on Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
She is an amazing lady who I first connected with back on episode 66, and I’m proud to say that she has become a great friend too.
Back on episode 66, we talked openly about the journey she had been on to get to the point where everyday she lives at a ten plus.
Yes she was once asked to rate her life happiness and fulfilment between one and ten, and she honestly replied “a ten”plus, which is just one of the reasons she genuinely feels that all of us should be living to our full potential so that we can go off the scale and also live like her
But like all people that achieve great success, its been a long journey starting back when she was 18 years old when she saw the the late great Jim Rhon speak live.
How The Dots Joined Up For Kim
She has been a co-host of the global variety talk show, “Samira’s Show, which airs to over 150 million people in Asia, Europe, Canada, United States, and Iran, she has had her own “Getting Your Life to a Ten +” web series with the Hallmark channel, she is an author, coach, motivational speaker, and a great person to be around.
But quite simply it seems that she has the confidence to be able to tackle most things, and push out of the comfort zone that holds so many of us back
She has the confidence to accept the opportunities first and then work out how to make it happen
So how do you get your talents to the point that people feel that you can do anything?
And how do you stop being dragged away from what you want should truly be doing in life, by accepting these challenges?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Kim Somers Egelsee
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Kim such as:
Why we should all write down the ten things that we love about ourselves in life and keep them close at all times.
How she has learned so much in the last few years that she couldn’t have imagined at the time, but that is the journey we should all be on…self-development.
How it is so much easier to follow your dreams than live in a life that you hate, you just need the support of others.
Why people feel the need to have a quick nip and tuck, but Kim feels that there is a better way to true confidence in your own skin.
How To Connect With Kim Somers-Egelsee
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here– enjoy
Full Transcription Of Kim Somers-Egelsee Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Do you have a business that can’t get going or would love to create your own one that works whilst you sleep and is built around the things you love? Well, podcasters mastery is the place to go to learn the six simple steps to create a business that flourishes connecting with thousands of customers that tell you what products they want. podcasters mastery is the online route to business success. Check us out now. When we’re young,
we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be but somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling and Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:49]
Yes, here I am. Again, I’ve been waiting for all of you. This is Join Up Dots. This is Episode 426. And I am still in the back of my garden in the UK. But today’s lady He’s probably back in the garden in LA a little bit more glamorous than I have. And she is a she’s an amazing lady who I first connected with back on episode 66. And I’m proud to say she’s become a great friend too. Now, back on episode 66, we talked openly about the journey she’d been on to get to the point where every day she lives at a 10 Plus, yeah, she was once asked to write her life, happiness and fulfilment between one and 10. And she honestly replied at 10 plus, which is just one of the reasons she genuinely feels that all of us should be living to our full potential so that we can go off the scale and also live like her. But like all people that achieved great success. It’s been a long journey, starting back when she was 18 years old when she saw the late great Jim Rohn speak live and it really stimulated something in her. Since then, she’s been a co host of the global variety talk show Samir, his show, which is to over 150 million people. Yes, get her in Asia, Europe, Canada, United States, and around She has her own on the getting your life to attend plus web series with the Hallmark Channel. And she’s an author. She’s a coach. She’s a motivational speaker. And she’s a great person to be around. But quite simply, it seems that she has the competence to be able to tackle most things, and push out of the comfort zone that holds so many of us back. She has the confidence to accept the opportunities first, and then work out how to make it happen. So how do you get your talents to the point that people feel that you can do anything and how do you stop being dragged away from what you should truly be doing in life? By accepting those challenges? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Kim Somers Egelsee. How are you, Kim?
Kim Somers Egelsee [2:41]
Whoo. I love that. I’m wonderful. And I love waking up with you, David.
David Ralph [2:46]
I love waking up with old ladies. No, I don’t mind if that’s how the show’s gonna start. Kim. I’m willing to that. Okay, we could do an 18 rated show. Never never done one of those before and just see what sort of downloads Fingers weekend. But it is funny, isn’t it but you can literally, you know, wake up with people I used to talk about this a lot in the early days where people used to tell me that they would shower with me every day on like these Bluetooth showerheads and the fact that you can be in such sort of intimate positions with people and, and just build up that connection so that you feel like you know, someone, you’ve got 5000 friends on Facebook. And how many of those Would you say that you are truly intimate to the point that your solo would notice them if they walk past you in the street?
Kim Somers Egelsee [3:34]
in that, in that regard, I would really say probably about 600 600 Well,
David Ralph [3:40]
if I walk past you in the street in sick,
Kim Somers Egelsee [3:43]
yeah, really, genuinely. I think just because here in in LA in Orange County in California. Everyone goes to so many masterminds events and networking and things like that you start to just know so many people and I’m not saying they’re all my great close friends, but to recognise I would guess that that probably is true and even some of them just from Facebook,
David Ralph [4:05]
but the troubling la you might recognise them once and then the next time their face looks different Isn’t that how it works?
Kim Somers Egelsee [4:11]
That’s true that is absolutely true
David Ralph [4:14]
that you look younger and younger and younger until you find out you’re spending time with a nine year old I was 65 when we first met our robot yeah oh robot Did you see a lot of bad going on in there? Because you’re you’re very sort of glamorous lady but do you feel a sort of pressure to to fiddle around with yourself and sort of keep yourself young or is that just what we see on the television from the United Kingdom?
Kim Somers Egelsee [4:37]
No, it is true there’s different circles though. So I mean, I’m I’m big on making sure that I look my best so of course, I mean, I’m probably medium to high maintenance To be honest, because I’m on front of the camera and I mean, I’m not going and having plastic surgery or anything but I I do try to always look my best that that’s part of confidence. But there are circles, especially in media where some of the women’s go overboard and they end up looking very strange. I think some people get caught up in it and then they end up not looking actually look older than they did to begin with. So I think that it has gone a little bit overboard in some areas, especially maybe Beverly Hills. Because the beauty of what you do and why I sort of asked that question and you alluded to it, if you feel truly confident, which is your thing, you are a confidence coach, you get people to lip to their 10 Plus, then your looks just become who you are. You’re not you’re not trying to be who you are. You’re not you’re competent in your own skin. Is that like a starting point to people? Should they be competent in their own skin before they start working on other stuff? Yes, absolutely. And I teach more on being absolutely happy with your inner and outer self and so you decide okay, what makes me feel my best when you know for some women, they may need to put makeup on every day and wear something that makes them feel sexy or flattering. But for some days may get to the place where they feel confident with no makeup. So for everyone it’s different and it’s it’s determining what you feel your best as that’s what it’s for.
David Ralph [6:09]
So for somebody listening to this conversation and in their in their cubicle pretending they’re working, and they think to themselves, yeah, I’d like to do that I’d like to be able to just come to work without any makeup instead of spending two hours doing whatever I have to do or whatever their time is, what’s a good way to sort of go about the first stage of getting to that level of competence?
Kim Somers Egelsee [6:31]
I think it really depends. self evaluation is really important. So So figuring out okay, what do you feel in your life is is lacking What do you feel that you are falling short in your own mind with feeling confident so that I can find out for them what they need to work on. And for a lot of people I start them out with making a list of 10 things they love about themselves. And David This is really crazy and baffling, and I’m curious in the UK, if this is also the case that I see. speak a lot. And I’ll go to speak to groups of such diverse people, like one group will be moms one group will be millionaires, one group will be entrepreneurs, etc. And I always ask this question I say, okay, and this is even if there’s like 100 people in the audience, I’ll say how many of you in one minute could make a list of 10 things you love about yourself? And only in every single audience, only about 5% of the people raise their hand. And I think that but
David Ralph [7:28]
isn’t that just that they don’t want to look a bit sort of egocentric isn’t it?
Kim Somers Egelsee [7:35]
Well, that’s a problem too, though. Because you have to have the foundation of loving yourself and owning who you are. And, and I will word it in Do you know 10 things you love about yourself or you’re great at or you know that you’re amazing at that kind of thing. But if I can get someone that I’m working with to make a list of at least 10 things that they know they love about themselves, that’s the start of it is just starting to own and know the things they love about themselves and memorising them and at least taking Three of them with you at all times and saying, okay, even if I’m going to work with no makeup on, or just totally being myself, am I rocking these three qualities about myself? Am I letting these qualities out that I know are amazing about me. And sometimes, you know, they need to get feedback from people that they know, like and trust to get an idea of who they are, because they’ve a lot of them have lost who they are. And that’s why they feel that they’re not confident they don’t feel a really solid foundation of themselves.
David Ralph [8:28]
Because when you said that 10 I instantly thought and this sounds arrogant base. No, I thought I could do for you. I know exactly my 30 list or my 10 list. I find it amazing that people can and just before we started recording him, I was talking to another podcaster and they said to me, you know, what’s your favourite show that you’ve listened to? And I said, Oh, it’s mine. And they went, well, that’s a bit cocky, isn’t it? And I went, No, it’s not I just generally like listening to my show. Is that a bad thing as well should because I look at it as Being comfortable with my performance but wanting to develop it to the next level and the only way you can do that is by actually analysing what you’re doing so that you can improve. But I just found it interesting but as a fellow podcaster The last thing that she wanted to do was actually listen to herself so if she doesn’t want to listen to herself, why would anybody else
Kim Somers Egelsee [9:21]
I think it’s extraordinary because you’re walking the walk and talking the talk of confidence and I think you’re living by example in in if you can show people that you I like to say own it, you know, you own who you are, you love who you are, then if you can’t love who you are, and love your own show, how can other people and that’s the basis of it and it’s the same thing with people with with going out and being successful or having great relationships if they can’t get to the place where they know and love the things about themselves. How is someone else going to completely love them as well. And so that’s a huge part of confidence is is getting to that place that it’s okay to absolutely know and love who you are. So you can even develop those qualities further.
David Ralph [10:04]
Now with yourself, obviously, you are coming across, and I’ve seen actually a huge change from the first time we spoke. I would like to go back and listen to the show again, I haven’t listened to it for ages. But I bet I’m massively different. And you’re massively different.
Kim Somers Egelsee [10:19]
I would love to hear to Yeah,
David Ralph [10:20]
yeah. But yeah, getting to know you since I have since been one of the things that you do, which is remarkable. And I’ve seen it more often than not, and I’m going to ask you, why you do it and how it benefits your life is but you will go onto Facebook, and you will make a bold statement of what you want to achieve. And the one that I’m sort of talking about is that you said right, first half of the year has been brilliant. Second half, I’m gonna triple my income, bang, and that was out of it. And I thought to myself, wow, what a big statement, not only she’s putting out in the public domain that she’s going to do that. So she’s got to back it up, but it also gives you firm intention. By, this is what I’m gonna do. I’m not hiding behind it, I’m not gonna allow myself to fail. I’m going for it. When did that first come into your life? Because I don’t think when I first spoke to you even though you were living at a 10 Plus, I think you’re more like on a 17 plus now.
Kim Somers Egelsee [11:17]
That’s good. Yes. I think the more you, you know, it’s interesting and you probably find this as well. But the more you teach something and speak about something, the more you become it and live it. And so I think that’s been huge because I’ve done so many workshops and masterminds and, and coaching and etc. And so I think that’s helped me step into who I am even more and just what I teach, it’s, it’s helped me live it more because I, it’s in me, it’s unconscious. But um, with goals, it’s interesting, because I like to just encourage other people that way and stand out on Facebook and I find that it does inspire other people. And so sometimes I will put bold dreams and bold goals on there. You know, regardless if hopefully I’ll achieve it. If I don’t, then I try again next year. I mean, they’re different. Different ways of looking at it. But you know what’s fascinating is the other day, I was at my parents house, we live about an hour away. And I’m looking through old journals, and I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t know where I got this from. But in a journal, when I was only 12 years old, I was setting goals. And then I look at another journal at 16 years old, and I was setting goals. And I asked my parents and they said, I don’t know how you knew how to do that. And I hadn’t yet seen Jim Rohn. And I thought that, you know, he really taught me the basic foundation of goal setting and 18. But I was already doing it. So it was already in me when I was like very young. Now, when you talk about Jim
David Ralph [12:35]
Rohn, obviously, we see his quotes floating around the internet, but you actually had a sort of personal relationship. Did you realise at that time that you were seeing somebody that was remarkable, or was he just some guy in the room that you happen to be with?
Kim Somers Egelsee [12:52]
Well, you know, it’s, it’s interesting. I don’t know if you know, the whole serendipitous story and I can say it very quickly, but with Jim Rohn I started to See him that young and I didn’t know he was amazing because my dad’s broker at his real estate firm had been telling us about him and I could just feel it and I could see the reactions of the people around and it was it was when he was kind of more up and coming back then. But it’s interesting as of about a year ago, so I think it was it was after you and I had our last interview. I got connected a couple years ago to Jim roans partner, 18 year partner, and he owned Jim Rohn international and his name is Kyle Wilson. I think you guys are actually Facebook friends. And we started so Kyle actually worked. He was augmon Dino’s agent. He worked with jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen of Chicken Soup for the Soul and john Maxwell, all kinds of great people, and still does, you know, the ones that are still alive and we ended up partnering and we’re doing a lot of projects together. So it really came full circle. I saw Jim Rohn the first time at 18 and now you know, 20 whatever that is. 21 years later. Am business partners with Jim roans founder?
David Ralph [14:04]
It is astonishing, isn’t it? And I’ve had Carl on the show and I know one amazing many years. And he was somebody Well, he seems amazingly confident in a non competent way. It was very strange. Talking to me, it wasn’t like he was forcing the issue. It was just like, he just does his stuff. And it works. But I remember him saying something distinctly impressive to me was, it wasn’t about how to achieve a goal. Now, I have to remember the story he was saying, but basically, he was a a presenter, and he had to fill up a room. And he realised that that effectively was his first domino to success. The first step was how to fill up a room and then how to fill it up with the right people and then how to end it was how to it was a step by step processes. And I know that you build a lot of bows into your life have they come from Carl and Jim, that kind of process of achieving one business goal not even a personal goal, but a business goal and then looking to build upon it the next step.
Kim Somers Egelsee [15:07]
You know, Kyle, in the last year, I’ve always been someone who I think of something and I jump into it, I go for it, and I figure it out as I go. So I call it creating your opportunities and jumping into them creating your own opportunities, because you don’t want to wait around for the world to give them to you. So you create your own. And so I’m always been like that. But then as I’ve been working with Kyle, in the last year or so, I have learned probably 50% more about marketing, about filling events about connecting things like that. So that’s been a godsend.
David Ralph [15:39]
But how do you do that though? How do you go from that first stage? We’ve got listeners out there, we’ve got people who are listening to Kim and listening to myself and thinking that’s what I want to do. I want to be like Kim, San Jose, Jose, I want to do all these great stuff. So what is what’s a good way of doing the first thing is it just to connect with people? Is it by Getting a room and trying to fill it up with people. How do you go from being in a cubicle or doing a job you don’t like to actually becoming come up to?
Kim Somers Egelsee [16:10]
That’s a great question. And I think that it’s definitely not waiting around until because a lot of people will say, Well, I need this person this first, if you have the basic topics and ideas of what you want to do, even if you’re, whether you’re a radio host, an author, a speaker, whatever, I think that it’s it’s starting out really simple. And just figuring out your business name, your logo, your tagline, getting someone to design something for you getting on social media, even if you don’t yet have a website. And if you want to be bold, you know, plan, a group event or meetup or a workshop and one of the things I did in the very beginning, I think it started in 2011. So what I had been life coaching on the side for years, but when I really full force went into my business, it was early 2010. So a lots happened since then, but I I was really kind of feeling baffled at how to get speaking engagements and I wanted to be this known speaker. And so I decided, you know what I’m going to create my own. And for three years, I had these women’s events that turned into men’s and women’s events every single month, one in LA and one in Orange County for three years, and I would get speakers. So the benefit of getting other speakers is that I started being known in their communities as well. And so over the course of those three years, I probably had 60 speakers. So I started knowing those speakers and their communities. And so that gave me a bigger name. And just all of the attendees through those years, a lot of them are still coming to my events and coming to my mastermind, so it did all the right things. And then by the time I met Kyle, I said, Kyle, over the last few years, I’ve had, you know, over 250 events, meetings and workshops, so he’s like, Whoa,
David Ralph [17:52]
but the initial one, the starting one that must have been scary, you you’ve hired this room out and you’re trying to get people to go and now That’s a stumbling block that so many people have, isn’t it? They look at that initial risk. It is a risk and think, ah, it’s not gonna work, and nobody’s gonna come bla bla bla how did you overcome that? Very first one?
Kim Somers Egelsee [18:13]
Yeah, I think everyone still always feels that, you know, you you you have you’re human. So you know, even when I have an event now, I think what if there’s a fluke and no one comes or? And I just think oh, well, that’s okay. You know, if you really feel
David Ralph [18:26]
very much, I’ll just let it go. And if it’s an empty room, I just have a cup of tea in the corner. I’m young.
Kim Somers Egelsee [18:31]
Well, I wanted really, I think I had enough. You know, I feel like, especially back then I felt like if no one signed up, I would contact my 12 closest friends and beg them to come. But I think that if you have a backup plan, like okay, well if it doesn’t get fooled, and I can contact friends or I can do half price or whatever I need to do, I’m going to make this work no matter what. But one of the exercises I have people do on fear when fear comes up, and this helps shift your brain If a fear comes up, you make a list of the reasons you’re fearful. And usually, it’s really interesting. Usually, the reasons you’re fearful are only about two to four reasons. And then on the other side of the paper, you make a list of all the positive outcomes and possibilities that are possible. And usually you can make a list of about 20 to 50. And that alone shifts your mind because it starts to make you realise that there’s way more positive possibilities and outcomes that could happen than the fear and it starts to outweigh the fear. Well, let’s play some words. Now.
David Ralph [19:32]
Nobody play these later on the conversation. But you you, you’re a professional, you brought him up nicely. So these are the words that Jim Carrey said recently, and they are so powerful. Here’s Jim,
Jim Carrey [19:42]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from My father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [20:08]
Is that the message that we should get out to everyone? Kim?
Kim Somers Egelsee [20:13]
I think it’s much easier to follow your dreams than to sit and be miserable every day and say I should, I should, I should and do what other people want you to do. And I think that it’s definitely easier to just start to follow your dreams to me, but I think you need help with people encouraging you and supporting you and uplifting you and you can’t do it alone.
David Ralph [20:35]
Now, when you listen to those words that Jim Carrey said Now, obviously, he learned a lot from his parents, which pushed him into being the person that he is today. I’m looking at your back history. What What were your mom and dad doing? Are they life coaches? Are they competent coaches on a living at 15 Plus, well, what were they doing?
Kim Somers Egelsee [20:57]
You know, I really was blessed. My parents are Like my best friend still, my dad does. He actually plans the motivational speaking at his real estate office and does a little speaking himself. And my mom speaks at women’s groups. So they didn’t do that when I was growing up, we kind of all evolved into that, which is interesting. And my dad was the one that introduced me to Jim Rohn with his real estate broker, Joe. But growing up, they were just positive and supportive. And they they became entrepreneurs pretty when I was pretty young. So they gave me leadership roles in their back when video, VHS videos were popular, they had video stores, and they gave me leadership roles. They called me like the director of the children’s area of the store and really treated me like a leader at the young age of 11 1213. And so I think that really did help a lot because it gave me the confidence it gave me the the go getter type of spirit that they had because they jumped into the video retail business without knowing anything about it. They just jumped in and figured it out. And so overall, I had a really supportive approach. Bringing, I did have some hurdles. I it’s interesting. I have a TEDx talk about it. I had some hurdles along the way with kids, being bullies to me and being in a bad relationship that came from other reasons. But overall, my parents really helped me I think, get to where I am now for sure.
David Ralph [22:17]
And when you look back on those, those TEDx moments, are they good dots on your Join Up Dots timeline, we see it literally every time that’s a bad time in your life when you get far enough away from them. Or actually, you can reflect and go yeah, thank God, it was terrible at the time, but thank God that happened. Did you see those in the same way?
Kim Somers Egelsee [22:37]
I think all of the times that I went through bad experiences and even when I was being really ridiculous with my own behaviour, I feel like it helped me be a better coach, a better speaker because I am non judgmental, and I get people because I’ve been through that, that type of stuff.
David Ralph [22:55]
And what were you doing? What ridiculous things would Kim do in the old days? Cuz we all do we do cebit summers?
Kim Somers Egelsee [23:05]
Yeah, yeah, of course no, I Well, you know, be even going into a bad relationship I was I was younger, I was like 19 to 21. But I went through this ridiculous relationship and stayed with him. And he was, you know, semi abusive, you know, not beating me up everyday, but basically verbally abusive and hit me in the past. And I think I was trying to fix him at the time. That was my he was my project. And then another period, my grandmother died, and I was about 27. And I’m almost 42 now so it was quite a while ago, and I just kind of fell apart. I tried to escape. I think a common thing people do when they’re upset or feeling grief or feeling even anger sometimes is they try to escape their own life. And so what I did was I was going out all hours of the night and, you know, smoking and drinking and getting ridiculous and just, you know, not coming home until 5am. And just acting really Ridiculous for a married woman. And it wasn’t me at all. It’s like I became a different person for a while. And I realised it was because I was reacting that way just out of immaturity and insecurity, and my grandmother had died. And it just made me kind of fall apart for a while.
David Ralph [24:16]
But we, even at my age now, now, I’ve been married for 400 years, really. I’ve got kids left, right and centre and a huge amount of responsibilities. I still want to do that. You never lose that ability to go, Ah, I just want to get drunk. I just want to be crazy or want to leave it all behind. I saw that film recently. I don’t know if you’ve seen it. Ben Stiller, the incredible Life of Walter Mitty or something. Have you seen that they haven’t seen it? I love him. Oh, you should get that film out. It’s a brilliant film about a man who suddenly starts taking opportunities in his life. And he lives a fantasy life. And so he will always imagine himself as a hero in a situation but never actually step forward to do anything about it. And it’s complete fabrication until his life changes. And he starts taking action. And one action leads to another and one leads to another. And he has these amazing adventures. Okay, they are so for film effect, but the essence of it is, it’s down to us. It’s totally down to us to do that. And I see that with my life. My life is so restricted in many ways that I could take those actions to do big bold stuff, but for some reason, it holds me back. It’s some reason I feel like I’ve got to be here for the kids. I’ve got to be here for doing this. I’ve got to be back home and stuff. But it’s good to get crazy in it every now and again, just just have a bit of craziness and find the essence of who you are. Even if it means drinking too much and waking up the next morning.
Kim Somers Egelsee [25:46]
Yeah, no, I agree. And I think that having that balance, though, and I’m lucky I do have an amazing husband that we do have kids but we go out to concerts, rock concerts all the time. We get a hotel room, we stay out late, you know, and I haven’t That side where I will dance all night and things like that. Yes, definitely. But having a balance and back when I was falling apart when I was younger I was going through this period where there was no balance and I and I realised I had fallen off the personal development waggon I had stopped reading anything powerful or inspiring. I hadn’t been doing any kind of giving back or any kind of volunteer work, and I think you lose sight of positivity sometimes if you let that happen.
David Ralph [26:26]
I’ve seen pictures of you and your husband when you first met and you to look younger now than you did then it’s bizarre. You’ve got like a Benjamin Button thing going on?
Unknown Speaker [26:37]
Oh, no, no gross.
Kim Somers Egelsee [26:40]
That’s so funny. I think we I think I take better care of myself now. Like I’m very into fitness and eating right and working out and just I think I’m happier. So I think it shows in that and you know, but I haven’t had any plastic surgery in that way.
David Ralph [26:56]
Did you think that ever will come will there come a time because So there’s this lady who was in the James Bond films are called on a Blackman. She was in the classic Sean Connery ones. And last week, she celebrated her 90th birthday. And when you see a picture of her, you can see that she’s just naturally grown old, but she’s 60. You know, she looks about 60, maybe 70, whatever, but she’s just like, she’s got the wrinkles where she should you should add the wrinkles and she looks like she’s lived the life but she’s looking after herself. Do you think there will come a time where that is the rarity that most of us are getting our teeth white and getting our hair filled out is did you can you see that? Taking a hole? Because certainly from my point of view, in America, we see two kinds of people, the ones that are so overweight that you’ve been, how have you let yourself get to that point, and then the ones where they they’re kind of clutching to you somehow seems it seems a bit bizarre from the UK.
Kim Somers Egelsee [27:56]
Yeah, that’s interesting. Um, there are a lot of both of those and there’s a lot of Between you know, there’s there’s it’s kind of a mix but you’re right there’s a lot of both of those types. I am not against doing whatever you need to do to feel great about yourself but I think when it be it has to be the right reasons you know, just maintenance and making yourself feel good versus changing your appearance and going overboard to to be obsessive about it. And I think people get obsessive about it. And so I’m more in the, in the belief that you could make yourself feel amazing, whatever makes you feel great, but not being ridiculous about it because because then people look you want you don’t want people to look at you wouldn’t say that person is someone who had a facelift or plastic surgery, because then you just look like a walking advertisement for whoever your surgeon is.
David Ralph [28:44]
And there’s some bad ones isn’t that you look at Barry Manilow he can barely move his arms. He’s like,
Kim Somers Egelsee [28:50]
I know and Kenny Rogers. Oh yeah,
David Ralph [28:52]
I’ve heard about Kenny Rogers. He actually has to shave behind his ears now because he’s bit beard starts growing back there but Cuz he’s putting it so tight.
Unknown Speaker [29:02]
Oh my god.
David Ralph [29:03]
It’s funny we can offer it but Kenny Kenny just grow we don’t care. You never look at a bald person and go oh my god, he’s bald, do you? But you look at somebody wearing a wig and go oh, what’s he doing?
Unknown Speaker [29:16]
Yeah, it’s more obvious.
David Ralph [29:19]
And I don’t think I’ve ever looked an old person and they’re old you just accept it but the ones that walk past you that look like they’re in a wind tunnel because their face is all pulled back.
Unknown Speaker [29:29]
Just let it go.
David Ralph [29:30]
I think that’s what this episode is all about. Isn’t it really it’s let it go. Enjoy life. Love yourself and work towards something would you say Kim?
Kim Somers Egelsee [29:40]
Oh, yes, absolutely. And in take time to think about it and go Okay, is everything in my life fulfilling and fun and amazing. And, you know, what’s really shifted me in the last year especially I would say is I regularly take inventory and I say, Okay, what am I doing with my time right now? list everything and then what are My goals, visions and dreams and making sure that every single thing on both lists is 100% that I want to do it 100% and so if it’s someone asking me to do an event or a project or go to lunch with them, and I don’t feel 100% about it, I don’t do it.
David Ralph [30:14]
No, that’s that’s ballsy isn’t it in many ways that the other person that you’re dealing with might kind of go, Ah, she’s getting beyond herself. She, she, she would have worked. She would have worked with me three years ago. But now now that Kim she’s working in different circles, so you really feel that?
Kim Somers Egelsee [30:33]
Well, you know, I understand sometimes there’s things once in a while that you and I always reiterate this when I’m speaking I say you know, if you have to do a few things like blogging or or some people don’t like doing their finances or things you have to do to get to the hundred percent level. That’s understandable. I’m not talking about those things, but I’m saying just in general as a gauge. It really helps you sculpt your life the way you want your life to go. And so, for me, I don’t really attract honestly Like, I think just where I’ve gotten to in happiness, I don’t attract the things and people I don’t want, it just doesn’t come. It’s just, I usually get things that I really want, and everyone can. And I’m just saying in general, stop taking up the time of doing things you don’t want to do. Because then your dreams, visions and goals never come to fruition. You’re always wasting the time with things you don’t even really want to be doing. And in some ways, that’s like punishing yourself.
David Ralph [31:25]
Because on the con Stein, social media, to be honest, all these different platforms. That’s the thing. I love speaking into the mic, I love having these conversations. And if this could drive everything, and I don’t have to do the rest, then I would just forget it. So what would you do? What is your super talent, but you think, yeah, this if I could only just do this for the rest of my life, everything else can go to hell.
Kim Somers Egelsee [31:50]
Well, I love speaking in front of large groups, and I love media. I would love to have more media. I love doing shows like this.
David Ralph [31:58]
And what is it about doing it? Show where you, you know, because this is very much you don’t know what I’m gonna ask you, there’s no structure, it’s free flowing. What is it about you that comes alive when you’re literally having to think on your feet
Kim Somers Egelsee [32:13]
I think I just feel the most myself I could just be authentic and be myself and be real. And I think that it’s a good example for everyone and people worry so much about being themselves you know, when I work with people, they you know, get up and practice speaking and are a lot of times trying to be this certain person. And when they get the permission to be themselves, they let go and they feel free and they do better than ever. And so I think that’s a lot of it is just I love to be able to just be myself. And did you ever go through that route? Did you try to be somebody else some person on TV Did you ever try to be on Oh no, you have over there barbara walters or something when he was on TV? You know, now now I’m always myself even if I am silly or dork sometimes but and that’s that’s in a good way but Back when I was younger, I was an actress and I would go on auditions and I didn’t have I probably back then had only about 50% confidence. And I would just be ridiculous on auditions. I would try to be, you know, like different actors in the movies. When I did the audition, it would come across so awkward and ridiculous that I would never land any auditions.
David Ralph [33:20]
And when you look back on it now, that wouldn’t be the same. You would just go in and say, This is me. And if you don’t like it, you don’t like it.
Kim Somers Egelsee [33:28]
Yeah, I don’t really get nervous anymore. It went away. I used to get so nervous. I was almost shaking and feel so intimidated by people. And the more confidence you build and develop and the more personal development and personal growth you do, that starts to go away and you start to just be happy being you and not caring what other people think regardless of who they are.
David Ralph [33:50]
But isn’t that a case of what you’ve done is built up your success vacuum, but you are being yourself you are being authentic, so the people that love you coming into your environment so you actually create your income based on just us. So you can’t get nervous, can you? You can’t be nervous when you are just being you. And that’s what people are responding to.
Kim Somers Egelsee [34:11]
Yeah, I mean, I think people can get nervous because they’re like worrying, what if they don’t like me? I mean that those thoughts come up sometimes that’s just normal human behaviour, I think. But feedback is huge, you know, results and feedback. So if you get good results over and over again, and you get positive feedback over and over, you start to develop, like, the knowing and the foundation of Okay, I’m doing great. I’m, I’m saying the right things. I’m being inspiring. I’m doing what the other people like. Because if you don’t get that, how do you know, if you don’t get the results and you don’t get the momentum and you don’t get the feedback? You know, with your successful amazing radio show? You wouldn’t know if you had no comments and no responses. You’d go well, I think I’m doing well, but I’m not sure. So I think that’s key for a lot of people developing extreme confidence.
David Ralph [34:57]
But I have a problem and I think I will always have the When I was a trainer, and I’d stand up in front of crowds, and people would come out and go, Oh, that was great. Thank you for that. I used to think, oh, you’re only saying that. And I still have that kind of no matter what people say that’s nice about my performance. There’s still that little voice in the back kind of goes they’re only saying it you’ve got to improve, you’ve got to get better otherwise, next time, they’ll be talking about you behind your back.
Kim Somers Egelsee [35:26]
So do you have those people? I think for that case, I mean, it’s probably based on something from so long ago maybe even that great grandparents believed or something like that that got ingrained in your mind. And it’s okay to want to always get better. But you definitely can have those few people who will be brutally honest with you. And if they still and you just know they give you the feedback and if they still have no constructive criticism, you know, you’re doing amazing.
David Ralph [35:53]
Yeah, no, but still inside you. That’s the thing. This this is your starting to coach me. This is why you are the coach. But inside me no matter who says something amazing, I will still go. Yeah, all right. Oh, but next time next time it’s going to be better next time. If you think this is amazing. You wait till next time you know I have that in me. Is that something that sets me apart? Or is all the people that are out there? going off to the dream? Do they have the same thing?
Kim Somers Egelsee [36:24]
Oh, I think that it’s it can be healthy as long as it’s I think it’s good to always want to do better but as long as you can also be in the moment and be enjoying what you’re doing. So I don’t think it sets you apart. I think a lot of people have that. But you know if I was interviewing famous rock star, and
David Ralph [36:41]
who was it when people say it
Kim Somers Egelsee [36:43]
was good? Not like she’s not well, she probably is world famous but not she hasn’t been as famous lately but she’s really awesome. Terry nun from Berlin so she’s saying the famous top guns on song Take my breath away. Boom, boom.
David Ralph [36:59]
Yeah. Yes, she’s the one with the blonde hair, the blonde hair in the black.
Kim Somers Egelsee [37:02]
Yes. She looks amazing still. And she was telling me some really powerful advice when I interviewed her. And she said that when she was younger and performing in front of like 100,000 people, she always was looking for the next big thing. And she feels like it was a whirlwind. And she has trouble remembering some of it because she was always focused on what’s next. What am I going to do next? Am I going to get better next, it’s going to be bigger. And she said that she learned through, you know, spirituality and reading and personal development to really be in the moment. And now, even if she’s performing in front of 100 people, she says she loves it even more because she’s so in the moment. She’s embracing every minute and enjoying it so much that she feels happier now, even then she did back then, but I can
David Ralph [37:50]
see you back. I can see about once you’ve had that level of success. And, you know, with the greatest respect, you’re not expecting a New Berlin album to be released. Very Shortly there’s I think there’s a huge market for people waiting for the next one to come along. So she’s just it’s the creative element that she likes. It’s not the the success chasing, isn’t it?
Kim Somers Egelsee [38:13]
I think so. Yeah. I think it’s a mixture they they actually did just have an album out.
David Ralph [38:18]
Oh my god, I’m gonna get ob Berlin fans slagging me off.
Kim Somers Egelsee [38:22]
Oh, you’ll have to you’ll have to look it up. It’s very good.
David Ralph [38:25]
So So what is to come into music that gets you up and dancing till five o’clock in the morning, man. What’s the kind of stuff it gets Kim striking stuff?
Unknown Speaker [38:34]
Oh, my favourite ever is Prince.
David Ralph [38:37]
I saw him in concert and he was rubbish. What he was rubbish. He was he. He just straight around the stage. It was it was like he actually sat on a piano. It was at Wembley and I thought he was writing a song in front of us. It was just no tune. He had these big fans but he would walk up to so that his hair would fly back and he he was rubbish Kim
Kim Somers Egelsee [39:00]
Oh my gosh, you’re gonna get so many bad bad comments now everyone loves Prince. Oh, he just he just had a few albums out like he puts out a couple albums all at the same time. So he’s always doing something.
David Ralph [39:16]
And what is it about him that actually you respect for most because, you know, I’m being flippant, he obviously has huge talent and for a while he was at the top of his game, you know, but met for quite a while he was like, bigger than Michael Jackson, I suppose. Certainly in the United Kingdom. He was. So what was it about him or what is it about him but actually, you think yeah, that guy has nailed it.
Kim Somers Egelsee [39:41]
Oh, I just love his voice is amazing. He probably I feel like he has the most diverse voice in music that can hit so many different levels and notes and he writes beautiful songs and he has great stage presence. He still moved like when he was 21. And now he’s like, 55 I think so I don’t know. I just said my are all of that. I have been a fan since I was like 10 years old. He’s strange. The pink Prince is 55 years old, isn’t it? I know and Madonna too, right
David Ralph [40:08]
now he’s not strange, but she’s 55 she’s, she’s lived such a life. She should be about 92 by now. cinci
Unknown Speaker [40:15]
David Ralph [40:17]
She’s not she’s not like a virgin anymore. I tell you. She’s She’s, she’s moved on. She’s moved on. So So what’s what’s in your sort of, um, future plans when you you’ve certainly had moved on a pace as I say, and you’re going for bigger and bolder challenges. But what what are you aiming for?
Kim Somers Egelsee [40:37]
Yeah, my biggest goal is to inspire and teach people to live an extraordinary life. There’s so many out there that don’t know how and to give them that inspiration that it is possible in the direction for it. So I just love speaking as much as possible. And, you know, my goal is to get on bigger stages and be in the media more and right now. I I lead for mastermind groups. So that’s really rewarding and powerful. I love live groups of about 10 people that we can get really intimate and dissect anything that isn’t working and make plans to figure out actions to take to make sure things do start working and see that transformation that is so rewarding. And then, with Kyle, the courses I have that are really exciting. It’s we have an online confidence course. And then I have certifications for life coaching to certified life coaches, so other people can go out and help others in the world. And then with a partner, Claudia Cooley, I have an image consulting course as well.
David Ralph [41:34]
Now he Oh, sounds amazing. And it is amazing. You’re doing so much. But how crappy was it at the beginning? How different was your first website or your first speech? Because what I want to get over to the listeners is what you’re saying now for the future is great, but it wasn’t always great. There was you know, oh, there was a WordPress site right at the very beginning and
Kim Somers Egelsee [41:58]
it was absolutely I can’t remember what it was some cheap company that you could build it yourself. It was horrible. I wish I still had it to see it because it was really terrible. But, uh, but you know, it’s because I just didn’t know what to do. And I made it myself. But I think the best advice for people out there just starting is to just keep doing something like every week, do something related to your business, and it just starts building like, connect people to each other because then they’ll start connecting you to people ask for help, you know, write to your closest 12 friends or acquaintances and say, Hey, I’m starting this business. I would love any connections or, or feedback or advice or anything like that, because magical things happen when you ask for help. And when you just start taking action on your dreams, and even at first if you feel ridiculous and it’s not working, it’s starts to make sense because you’re just taking that action.
David Ralph [42:50]
I’ve got a mastermind and I’ve got a course that we run out and we were doing some great stuff in it. And one of the sort of messages that I get out is don’t get hung up. In the direction, don’t try to make it perfect, just start doing stuff because more often than not, the dream that you have is a kind of feeling more than a finished entity. And as you proceed through taking these actions, connecting with people, getting yourself out there, that feeling starts to form into the real thing. And even that real thing may not be your finished dream. It’s just where you are at that time. But so many people do get hung up on almost making it perfect at the beginning, knowing the straight line, but it’s not straight, is it?
Kim Somers Egelsee [43:34]
No, absolutely. And you don’t always need to know the how you just kind of start moving and get help if you need to, and take some action and don’t be afraid of falling on your face because that gives you feedback on what not to do next time.
David Ralph [43:48]
Well, I’m gonna probably the words that are the whole theme of the show, and these are the words from the late Steve Jobs, hugely powerful, and I never get fed up with listening to them. This is Steve Jobs,
Steve Jobs [43:59]
of course. was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [44:34]
Do you buy into those words, Kim?
Kim Somers Egelsee [44:37]
I love it. It’s absolutely true. And it’s so fun to I love to go back and look at the dots all the way from when I was tiny up until now and see how beautiful they connect. And it all makes sense.
David Ralph [44:49]
And do you do that on a regular basis because I’ve I’ve had a few guests now say to me that what they do on a sort of by annual basis is they Plot all the good things and all the bad things. So each year they sort of write down Okay, that was great in March. That was terrible in May. But then when they look at it two years later actually the things that were terrible in May were actually the things that were great because it’s moved them on to where they are now. Do you ever do that and assess the good and the bag?
Kim Somers Egelsee [45:19]
Yes, totally. I haven’t done it exactly that way. I love that. But just taking inventory on what has worked and it hasn’t worked and what you know what’s going on and that kind of thing and sometimes things shift you know, the next year you don’t feel the same as you did the year before. So it’s it’s really cool to do that because it makes you so self aware.
David Ralph [45:37]
And so since the last time I spoke to you normally I say to the guests, you know, what’s your big.in life but since we last connected year and a half ago, what what has been the big doc that has really wished you on?
Kim Somers Egelsee [45:51]
So what has been I think working with Kyle has been the biggest blessing, I think working with Kyle Wilson, because my online courses were created, we’ve done some powerful masterminds together, we both have connected one another with just some absolutely fascinating, amazing people. And we work really well together. And he works on a lot of other things in his lessons from network, which I’m a part of as well. But it’s been just a dream come true because of his background and who he is.
David Ralph [46:21]
And so you are filling in the gaps of your knowledge by the experience of somebody else, which then gives you the Rocket Power to move forward even quicker.
Kim Somers Egelsee [46:30]
It’s amazing, it’s it’s very much a gift.
David Ralph [46:34]
And but people don’t don’t believe at the beginning delay. They don’t believe that. Even Richard Branson will have a coach and a mentor somebody that will fill in the blanks, but it really is the quickest route to success, isn’t it by accepting that we are everything?
Kim Somers Egelsee [46:48]
Yeah. Yes, absolutely. We all need to be able to ask for help or get a mentor and everyone needs everyone. I think you know, it’s, it’s what life is all about?
David Ralph [46:58]
Well, I’m gonna bring the show to end And today in a slightly different way, and normally we send the guests back on a journey to speak to the younger self. But this time I’m going to play the theme tune on when it fades. I’m going to ask for what advice would you give your kids because we see the pictures of them being dragged around Disneyland and they didn’t look like they wanted to go there. I think that was just a mom having a day out. So I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fades, you’re up. What advice will Kim give her her kids
Unknown Speaker [47:35]
with the best bit of the show?
Unknown Speaker [47:42]
Kim Somers Egelsee [47:52]
so both of my children Nia is three and noella is nine and they’re both girls, and Nia and noella. I think Want you to always stay true to what’s in your heart and follow your dreams. If you want to do something big and bold, I want you to go for it. You can ask for help. You can go take studies and courses on it, you can do whatever you need to do. But don’t let anyone deflate your dream. Go for it anyway. And make sure it happens. If that’s what’s in your heart. Make sure that you are confidently telling people what you want in life. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should be doing. You need to do what your heart tells you. If children come up to you and bully you, you get away from them. You don’t be near anyone who doesn’t support Atlas and encourage you you keep the people close to you, that treat you like the rock stars that you are and own the qualities about yourself that you know are wonderful. Make sure you have a list of at least 10 let alone maybe 50 things that you know are amazing about yourself and let those qualities out. But Also be giving and do volunteer work and be grateful for the things that you have and give back to people in need. And just be the shining stars that you are. And make sure you love yourself. And if you ever get off track, go to someone that can uplift you again.
David Ralph [49:19]
Kim, what’s the number one best way our audience can connect with you?
Kim Somers Egelsee [49:24]
And my email is Kim at Kim life coach comm Kim at Kim life coach calm and then my website is Kim life coach calm. And so those are probably the two best ways to connect with me.
David Ralph [49:38]
Kim, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up more dots and I’m gonna say it again anyway. But please come back again when you have even more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures Kim, thank you so much.
Kim Somers Egelsee [49:54]
Thank you It was amazing.
David Ralph [49:58]
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