Melanie Proctor Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Melanie Proctor
Melanie Proctor is our guest today on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
She is a lovely lady who has gone out on a limb to do things her own way.
In fact when you read her linkedin page and see under her achievements and awards section a statement as bold and determined as this
“I live in Thailand! That is my “award” for having the guts to get away from the big city and live the life of my dreams.
I am thankful for the people who have supported me to have the guts to run away and live on an island.
I stand on the shoulders of people braver than myself. I am so grateful!”
And this one statement seems to say so much about a lady whose path started at the age of four and now has turned her vision for a wellness retreat into reality.
She believes that it was a desire with which she was born and in fact she was training for her whole life.
And that is something that is so powerful.
The ability to train over a long period of time to get your dream.
How The Dots Joined Up For Melanie
Or said in another way, she is the perfect candidate to demonstrate to all of us the power of the compound effect which we are so big on at Join Up Dots.
You do one thing, and then another, and then another, and then another until you find that you have developed the muscles, talents and skills to take advantage of the opportunities that start forming around you.
Takes awhile, but the effort gets rewarded.
And so from her base in Thailand she is now living her dream, or perhaps the beginning of her dream everyday, and helping others to detox, relax and move their lives onto the next level.
So did she have the total vision right at the beginning, or was it just a feeling of what she wanted to do?
And does she see her success as just the beginning, or does she now fancy a life of relaxing and detoxing everyday?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Melanie Proctor.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Melanie Proctor such as:
How she remembers being a very small child and recalls having a huge dislike for baby food, whilst being contained in her baby crib….demonstrating her true essence for later life.
Why she simply thought one day “That I think I can do this” and from that position has never looked back, moving forward with confidence as she built her health retreat.
Why you should always follow your highest level of excitement at every difficult moment to work through to your ultimate goal.
By providing massive unprecedented value to her guests she is building a business that will flourish across the world….but how is she doing this you will wonder?
How Tim Ferriss allowed her to come out of the closet and taught her that it is ok to learn things and then change direction.
How To Connect With Melanie Proctor
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Interview Transcription Of Melanie Proctor Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Do you have a business that can’t get going or would love to create your own one that works whilst you sleep and is built around the things you love? Well, podcasters mastery is the place to go to learn the six simple steps to create a business that flourishes connecting with thousands of customers that tell you what products they want. podcasters mastery is the online route to business success. Check us out now.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be but somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:48]
Yes, hello Barry everybody and welcome to uphold a Join Up Dots. It’s the first of October today, and I’ve got the first cold of the winter so I’ve got a croaky voice in a little bit. Running in snotty and stuff. But that’s not going to detract us because today’s guest is she’s like hell, she’s the most healthy person you can imagine. And it’s not a surprise because she is a lovely lady who’s gone out on a limb to do things her own way. So why wouldn’t you be healthy. In fact, when you read a LinkedIn page and see under her achievements and awards section, a statement as bold and determined as this, I live in Thailand, that is my award for having the guts to get away from the big city and live the life of my dreams. I’m thankful for the people who have supported me to have the guts to run away and live on an island. I stand on the shoulders of people braver than myself. I’m so grateful. I love that really lover. And this one statement seems to say so much about a lady whose path started at the age of four and now has turned her vision for a wellness retreat into reality. She believes that it was a desire which she was born with, and in fact, she was training for her whole life. And that is something that is so powerful the ability to train over a long period of time. To get your dream or set in another way, she’s the perfect candidate to demonstrate to all of us the power of the compound effect, which we’re so big on and Join Up Dots. You do one thing, and then another, and then another, and then another until you find that you’ve developed the muscles, talents and skills to take advantage of the opportunities that start forming around you takes a while, but the effort gets rewarded. And so from a base in Thailand, she’s now living a dream or perhaps the beginning of a dream. Every day, she’s helping others to detox, relax, and move their lives on to the next level. So did she have the total vision right at the beginning? Or was it just a feeling of what she wanted to do? And does she see her success as just the beginning? Or does she now fancy a life of relaxing and detoxing everyday in retreats across the globe? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start Join Up Dots with the one and only Melanie Proctor. How are you Melanie?
Melanie Proctor [2:53]
Hi, I’m doing great. I just love your boys. I mean you you just would make anybody excited just about anything
David Ralph [3:04]
I’ll tell you why I don’t get my wife excited very often now I’ll be honest
Melanie Proctor [3:09]
well we could use you over here at bouquet cleanse because we have people do lots of crazy things here and sometimes they need a little motivation.
David Ralph [3:16]
That’s what I do I’d be like you’re you’re sort of in house DJ you know when you go into a supermarket and you hear the music being played, and somebody’s got this very small job I could be you could I could be playing the best of Rick Astley every single day to your guests.
Melanie Proctor [3:33]
Yes, well, you know what, here’s your official invite to prepare cleanse you’ll love it.
David Ralph [3:38]
Well, that’s I’m gonna be over there because I need it today. I am a bit bit rough to say the least a pro isn’t read roar. How do you get by when you’re in that kind of real physical, healthy land and you feel a bit rough? Do you hide yourself away so you guests can’t see you? Or do you sort of go out and embrace it all?
Melanie Proctor [3:57]
And no, I mean, I Been working on a lot of protocols for cold for a very long time. So I just put it all together when I have a cold and I don’t have you know, I just can’t get sick, you can’t run a cleanse or a detox centre and walk around sick. So you have to have, you know, some big guns when you get sick.
David Ralph [4:18]
It is interesting, though, isn’t it? It is a mental approach. I used to come from corporate land, where pretty much people would come in and the first thing you would see was that they was going to tell the first person I don’t feel very well today. And they almost convinced themselves but they’re dying and of course they are dying. Now when you’re in an entrepreneurial world or like the world that you’re in, you’ve got to put your best foot forward, haven’t you? And by doing that mentally, you can kind of knock the feelings of feeling rough and hiding under a doovy behind you.
Melanie Proctor [4:50]
Well, yeah, you know, there’s a lot of mental there’s, you know, it’s a big mental game, that’s for sure. And truly, you know, the best thing you can do is distract yourself. Because if you get really distracted, you won’t be that sick anymore.
David Ralph [5:04]
Have you always been as focused as you are now on health and well, being in the introduction we talked about, you kind of had this feeling from the age of four. But this is what you wanted to do. Have you always been that sort of healthy little kid and somebody that’s aware of sort of fresh vegetables and all the kind of normal things that we should be putting into our body?
Melanie Proctor [5:24]
Well, I suppose, you know, when I was four, I knew something was going on. And I had stuff to do. At that time, I had, you know what, you actually that’s an interesting question. Let me go back a little further. Actually, I guess I knew so long from the time of birth, because I couldn’t eat the baby food. I would just spit it back at people. And you know what I actually remember before I could even talk to them trying to feed me baby food. And I remember the thought this food sucks. Now I didn’t have those words. But the thought that was is was there. And that was just some My first memories just being fed baby food and just just thinking this, what are they thinking? That’s weird. I know, it’s weird. And people feel sorry for me, those are my first memories. I have another memory too of being in a crib in a playpen and just not liking it, and feeling just too grown up for it. And the other issue I had was baby food. It just was horrible. And I can still see it in my eyes as if it was yesterday.
David Ralph [6:28]
But when you think about that crib, and now you’re in an environment where today I’ve contained you in a room, you’re sitting in front of a computer with a side your window, there’s a beach calling you and there’s sunshine, and it’s all glorious. So even when you was a very small child, you wanted to get out of that crib and be free and do your own thing.
Melanie Proctor [6:50]
I just remember feeling really grown up like feeling like a very adult soul and just saying How the hell did I get into this frickin crib and did this play pass? When I was put in a playpen I just remember just, you know, feeling that you know, I don’t know if it was past life stuff I’m not saying reincarnation is true or not to. I just had a very and I think we all must I think I just happen to remember those things. But I just remember feeling very adult, but put in a friggin crib and a play pin and being fed the worst food
David Ralph [7:23]
and is that your essence now? Is that young memories it pretty much who you are now you’re just a bigger version.
Melanie Proctor [7:32]
You know, that’s, that’s really an interesting question. I mean, yeah, I mean, I felt that sharp that bright. I just didn’t have language skills. And I was little so I was too little to get myself out of a playpen. But I felt that I had the awareness I have now and maybe maybe the amnesia, same awareness but with amnesia, because I you know, I probably I couldn’t remember anything. I just remember I didn’t belong in a friggin group. Eating baby food.
David Ralph [8:02]
So have you always wanted to do a retreat? Or have you been like so many of us and gone into some crappy corporate gig that you knew wasn’t right for you, but you still did it anyway?
Melanie Proctor [8:15]
Yes, I actually did work in another field. Yeah, I worked in in their field. And I, I became pretty well known in that field. But it was sort of like, I guess, like when you get in a bad marriage, and maybe you know, on your wedding day, that it’s not the right thing, but you make the best of it. And you have kids and you raise the kids and you do the best job and the kids are wonderful. But finally, it just, you know, after the kids are grown, you can’t stay with it. And that was that’s what happened to me. When I was when I was in my in graduate school in the major I was doing at the time. I you know, I didn’t have any money like most graduate school students, and I don’t know how I came up with the money. But I had the best stocked healthy kitchen. I had every book every health book every cookbook under the sun. I could have been, you know interviewed on any kind of Health TV show at the age of 21. But it was kind of an a sick obsession because I neglected everything in my life. I neglected my school, I was terrible at work, I’d call in sick I’d stay up all night cooking healthy food, teaching myself to cook. It was like madness. And I and I did this for years like I couldn’t wait to Friday when I was done for the day and I raised to the health food store and bought all the different foods I could get all the new health health food books, all the magazines and just stayed up for all weekend like not sleeping so I could cook and learn and cook and learn and cook and learn because a big part of it was training myself to be able to teach healthy So that was at the age of, I was about 20. Well, maybe I was about 24. Then I was in graduate school. So I’d already finished undergrad. And then when I graduated, I had to go into my field. So I guess I would say it was sort of like, I fell in, you know, falling in love during the engagement and you know, you’re engaged to somebody else. And then you fall in love. And you have this massive affair while you’re engaged. And then one day you have to get married, and you make the best of your marriage. That was like me and graduate school I was I was on a career path to do something. But I fell in love with the health food world and and not health food. I would say at that time. It was really about food and nutrition and cooking healthy food.
David Ralph [10:45]
But you didn’t need the graduate school, it seems to me even listening to talking now. You’ve got muscle muscle. You were always going to be creating your own environment. And so although I say to the kids Man listening, you know, go to school, get your education, listen to your teachers and all that kind of stuff. There are certain individuals and more often than not, there’s more than certain individuals now, but you almost say he didn’t really need it, you would have you would have hustled your way to the position that you wanted anyway, by your own efforts.
Melanie Proctor [11:20]
Well see it and what I was majoring in school had nothing to do with health. I was I was getting a master’s in teaching English as a second language. And so when I graduated from, from my, when I got my master’s degree, I went to Seoul, Korea, and I taught English there but then I just kind of rose to fame in the whole English teaching world around the world. Because I, I don’t know maybe you’d like to say I’ve hustled muscle I don’t I don’t know. But I became kind of a world famous educator, and teaching people how to teach languages so that people can learn really quickly and effectively. wrote a lot of books I wrote Like 70 books and that and I travelled around the world training teachers how to teach people how to teach people languages really quickly and effectively. And, you know, it sounds glorious, you know, again like that, like that fake marriage where the woman who went into it wasn’t really that happy, but she made the best of it. And they had a great home and a great family and everybody thought they were the perfect family. Everyone thought I was the, the perfect educator because I was writing all these books and I had gained so much fame, but I couldn’t quit forgetting about my that tour de fer I was having before getting into field that torrid affair I was having with, you know, healthy cooking and nutrition. That was that was my love, and I couldn’t get over it. And I stayed in my career for I lived in Seoul for 17 years. You
David Ralph [12:49]
know, aren’t you Melanie is quite literally every metaphor you talk about is having affairs and being married and you are a passionate, romantic person by soul.
Melanie Proctor [13:00]
Well, I yeah I suppose I just I’m quite yeah passionate maybe that’s it you know maybe that’s it i i get passionate about whatever I have to do it borders obsession. But it’s fun you know it’s it’s fun I mean fun and and obsessive, you know is I don’t know have you ever met people that get really obsessive about their, whatever it is they’re studying and it keeps them up all night and they lose their entire life because they can’t stop.
David Ralph [13:28]
And that’s a utopia isn’t it? That’s what everybody wants. And more often than not, you get to Friday afternoon and think to yourself, Ah, thank god a week is over. But when you find that thing, and it’s quite obvious that you found that thing, weekends and weekdays and evenings all blow into one because you just want to do it and you want to get better at it. And just drive your your mission your your efforts to a bigger and bigger platform. So you are in Thailand, obviously with your retreat. Was that a big stretch for you to get back going? Or when you decided to actually go for it? Did it so?
Melanie Proctor [14:07]
Yes, it’s it was, I don’t even I cannot believe it happened because here I was in my career, like I said, 17 years I was in Seoul, and my, you know, I was on my knees praying every night to please, please let me live the dream of working in the field. I’ve wanted to work in for 17 years that that field, I can’t stop thinking about that, that that love, you know, and, oh, I did all kinds of crazy, you know, even superstitious rituals, you know, like I would do anything to get into my field. I just couldn’t take it anymore. And basically what it happened I came here to Paquette which isn’t that far from Seoul, Korea. It’s about six hours and it’s common for people to live in Seoul, Korea to come to Poquette for holiday. And I came here and I noticed there were all these detox centres here, like all over. I mean, Thailand is known that it’s a huge industry in Thailand. You know, most countries, detox centres aren’t a huge industry, but Thailand is really set up for it. And I would, I would go to the detox centres, and I thought, Oh, that’s, that’s funny. You know, like, the stuff they were doing was just kind of funny for me like stuff I was doing back when I was in college. And you know, I could have done it better. Back when I was in college, because it was, every single detox centre was kind of copying each other. And it was very simplistic, and it was a good model and a good moneymaker, and people are having benefits, but I just kept thinking, I guess I could do this. And one day I started I actually had, I was doing meditation. One afternoon when I was down here on vacation, I’m American, so it’s a vacation. So I was down here on vacation, and I was doing a meditation and this image came to me This weird symbol came to me and I got out of my meditation I said I’ve got to find that symbol. I’ve got a drive around town. Well let
David Ralph [16:08]
me slow you down. Because this sounds a bit bizarre so when you say this symbol appeared it was just like an image in your mind or how did it Yeah,
Melanie Proctor [16:16]
just I was you know, when you’re meditating sometimes you border on sleep, you know, that state sometimes you jump you know when you’re when you’re starting to fall asleep. And weird imagery comes you know, that state right before you’re falling asleep. You’re kind of you’re not asleep yet, but you’re drifting off Do you know what I mean?
David Ralph [16:32]
Yeah, I do when the wife snoring by the side of me and I’m thinking for God’s sake, shut up just before I drift off Yeah, I know exactly what you meant that
Melanie Proctor [16:38]
trip the state. I was in that little drifty state. And you know, you should pay attention. You know, the only difference between me and other people’s I pay attention to that imagery, because there’s a lot of information there’s a lot of ideas there’s I mean, incredible gold you need to mine it you know, when you’re falling asleep and you get that dreamy, weird imagery, and sometimes you jump you know, you feel like you’re Falling or something. And so I always pay attention to that. And I was, I was doing that that one day and I saw one of the dreamy images came was this weird symbol. So I was like, I know I gotta go find that symbol. So I woke up out of my meditation and got on a motorbike and went all around town and I found the place I found a sign in front of a gym. And I was like, okay, there’s no for sale sign, but I’m going to walk it and ask them if they’re planning to sell it or read it. So I did. And the guy asked for a ridiculous amount of money. And I was like, Oh, no, forget what what was I thinking and I was like, but something’s going to happen because that symbol came to me. I know something’s going to happen. I forgot about it for a few months. And the guy called like, three months later and said, Hey, I have to I have to get rid of my gym right away. I’ll take anything for it. I’ve got to go back to my country to run my family winery, my family’s winery. I’ll take whatever you’ll pay any term so I didn’t have any money then at that time, and you know, I just simple credit to a payment plan. That’s, that’s what I did. And I got the gym. And I just started teaching raw vegan cooking out of the gym and putting people on detoxes. And I got kind of a big following teaching the cooking classes and putting people on detoxes and having people work out in the gym. And eventually, I leveraged that to move into this big resort. And then we just sort of went viral. Like it went viral, because it was a whole different approach to detox and all the places in the world. And now, everyone’s copying us and that was just four years ago. And we just have, we don’t advertise. Word of mouth. Lots, just just unbelievable, unbelievable success in four years. Unbelievable success.
David Ralph [18:48]
Well, let’s play some words. Now that emphasise that moment where you didn’t have all the answers, but you knew that there was something there that was worth going for. This is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [19:00]
Father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Now,
Melanie Proctor [19:27]
Wow, that’s great,
David Ralph [19:28]
powerful statement, of course, and you’re standing outside this building, and you’ve seen this image, and you think to yourself, right, I’m gonna take a chance on this. Was it scary time? Or did you just feel like it was something that was meant to be?
Melanie Proctor [19:44]
Yeah, it was a you know, it was scary. And I think having a business as always can be scary. Because as you grow, your expenses are quite high, you have a payroll. So I think every entrepreneur has to Live with, you know, scary. Yeah, so absolutely scary. Absolutely scary.
David Ralph [20:08]
Oh, how do you overcome that for the listeners out there who’ve got this idea in their head? am I sitting listening to these shows every single day or other podcast and the reading development blogs, and they they’ve got that nagging feeling in their stomach. And I know that feeling because I felt it before I did this and I know that you felt it, that you think I want to do this, but what happens if it goes wrong? And what happens if I spend all my money and what happens if my efforts aren’t rewarded and what happens? What happens? What happens? How do you overcome that feeling of scariness when you wake up in the middle of the night and think, Oh, my God, I made this decision yesterday afternoon. I was excited. But now I think to myself, What have I done?
Melanie Proctor [20:49]
Well, there’s there’s one thing is that, you know, there’s a point sometimes where when you start it, you know, you’re going to take a risk you have to say if I lose everything will it have been worth it. You know, is it something I really have to do? And, you know, I said, I said that I knew at the very beginning of it, if I lost everything, would it be worth it? And the answer was absolutely, yes. So no matter what happens, I’ll have done it. And I, I can quote, you know, I, I will, there’s something about that there’s something about having to do something, and just doing it. You can’t rest until it’s done. And at least if if I can’t do it anymore, if I lose the business for some reason, I’ll be able to say I did it, and it was so worth it. And it was so delicious. And it was so far beyond my wildest dreams. So first, I think people can, you know, that’s a good thing for people to ask themselves. If I lost it all, would it still have been worth it? Now, of course, that’s that was easy for me because I didn’t have kids. Now, when people have kids, it’s quite different. So they’ll have to think about how I don’t know if that question works if somebody has kids, but what do I do to get to Do it even now, when business gets scary because, you know, I am in the tourism industry and the tourism industry goes up and down, you know. So what I do is I, I stay in this place for business, you know, for business, it’s about money, right? I mean, money kind of keeps it going. So I stay in this place of, of knowing that this is so right. And something so right, it’s going to come to me. And I also, when I start to feel scared, because money is tight, I surround myself with wealth, like in their images of wealth, videos of wealth, going to expensive hotels, maybe you know, I might not have the money to partake, but at least be in that environment. So I begin to take on the vibe of wealth, I begin to feel wealth before it even happens. Maybe if I’m driving a shitty car, the time I treat that car as if it’s that expensive one already. I go back to being that child Again, he can pretend that that that car that bicycle is something amazing and you know, playing a little make believe.
David Ralph [23:07]
I think that is hugely powerful. And I really do. And the thing that I loved that you said there was, it feels this right is gonna come out right at the other end because I know that from doing what I’ve done, that there’s been times, first six months, I didn’t earn a single penny from the show. And I was literally just working at it, working on it, working on it, and then it never, it never felt wrong for me. Even in those days, I thought what I’m doing is getting better at it or developing an audience or whatever. And I think that is a key message to this whole show, isn’t it? If it feels right to you in your stomach, more often than not, it is. And on the other side if it feels wrong, and it seems too good to be true. Once again, it probably is as well.
Melanie Proctor [23:55]
Yeah, and I basically you know, people ask me a lot how I did it because when you To my resorts and you will come when you come to my resort. You’ll see it’s an amazing life. It’s an amazing place and people say, how did you have the guts to run away from it all and do this and this is the motto I’ve been following for a very long time. And it’s my advice to anyone is follow your highest excitement in every given moment. Among all options available, take that as far as you can, and do it again. And because your highest your excitement, the feeling of excitement is you. It’s your authentic self shining through you. If you feel excitement, that’s your higher self saying yes, this is what I want to do. I love it. So if you just keep following that if you keep falling and I’d say you’re just today you go to a restaurant gonna have lunch, and you look at the options on the menu, read them all and see which one gives you a little twinge of excitement. Follow that either. That when you leave and you’re trying to decide, Oh, do I go for a coffee or a tea or juice? Feel which one feels excited, it’s a little twinge of excitement, follow that. Go with as far as you go with that then then make the next move. So in every moment, it’s like you got a map and and the guide is your excitement and it will take you where you have to go all the time.
David Ralph [25:23]
So you made an interesting point there. Do you think that you did run away? Do you do you feel that you’ve actually left things that you should have stuck around for? Or is this naturally where your life has gone to?
Melanie Proctor [25:34]
No, I I absolutely did the right thing. And, and life has exploded and that’s what you know back to that if you follow your highest excitement in every given moment. Life will present you so many crazy opportunities that you’ll be in the right place at the right time, always for every miracle to happen.
David Ralph [25:59]
Do you think feel that that is something that is only applicable to yourself? Or is that something that you’ve been is global? And if people do follow their highest level of excitement, yeah, well,
Melanie Proctor [26:12]
yes, your excitement is like your intuition. It’s saying go that way, please. All right, if you go, you know what that thing that you want that thing that you’ve been dreaming about? It’s over there. So just please go that way. And Okay, take a left turn. It’s like a GPS. That’s what it is. It’s your it’s your inner GPS. And sometimes it’s not enormous excitement. I mean, I’m talking about minor I’m saying use it for everything. Use it for what to eat on a menu, use it for when you’re taught when you’re in conversation with people and you don’t know what to say, you know, when you think of that thing you want to say How does it feel? Does it feel feel? Do you feel that little twinge of positivity, and if you do say that, I’m saying that is your GPS and it will take you where you have to go.
David Ralph [26:55]
We used to call any early episodes, we used to call it your body’s compass. And if you If you feel that you’re scared, more often than not, I believe that’s where you should be going. Because that’s actually pointing you outside of your comfort zone. And that allows you to grow. And that’s where you’re going to find the bigger opportunities. And if you go the opposite way, and you just feel totally comfortable. Be aware. Be aware you’re not moving forward. Hmm,
Melanie Proctor [27:20]
yeah, I love this about getting out of your comfort zone. That that is a real interesting thing. There’s so much there and getting out of the comfort zone.
David Ralph [27:29]
So what did your parents think then when, when obviously, you come from the United States, I assume? Yeah. When I’m gonna start travelling the world, I’m gonna start teaching English. Did that come from sort of left field? Or did they know that you was always going to be sort of following your heart and going across the globe?
Melanie Proctor [27:50]
They always knew because I started studying languages at a young age and I was obsessed and I had to teach my I’ve always had weird obsessions. And so I think It started when I was about 15. I started studying all these different languages. And I think by the time I was 20, I had I rudimentary skills and at least four languages.
David Ralph [28:12]
And so what languages can you speak?
Melanie Proctor [28:14]
Well, now I don’t speak much of anything anymore because I just kind of gave my my linguistics up, because I got into other fields. But when I was in high school, I, I taught myself Spanish, French, I took Latin. And then when I was in college, I studied Russian. And then I went to Korean, I learned Korean. And by the time I got here to Thailand, I was like, I’m done. You know, I’m now going in this field of hell. Not having anything to do with languages anymore. I’m done. And I swear, I think I learned I know like three Thai words. I totally gave it up.
David Ralph [28:52]
Can you switch off that cleanly? Can you just go right? I’m moving on because a lot of people will have the languages as well. Fall back. They will have that as a safety net. But you seem to go, No, that’s it. I’m moving into my new area. Forget the old versus the new bang. Is that the way that you always operate?
Melanie Proctor [29:11]
Well, yeah, that’s the thing is that I’ve always had weird obsessions my whole life and usually when I achieve a certain mastery, and I move on to the next thing, so you just, you just want to do that. I don’t know. There’s there’s a lot of people out there that are polymaths meaning or polymaths or polymorphs. You know, they they learn lots of different subjects they’re obsessed with with you know, some people collect things and polymorphs or poly mass. They collect different skills, and they got to do it till they become a master in it and they’re usually move on to the next one. And so Tim Ferriss who’s written, you know, the four hour workweek The Four Hour Body, the Four Hour Chef, do you know those?
David Ralph [29:58]
I do. It’s funny. When you were talking originally about teaching people how to do things very quickly, I thought, Oh, that’s like a female Tim Ferriss, she’s got a Ferris vibe going on.
Melanie Proctor [30:09]
Well, that’s the thing is that I have to say that Tim Ferriss really helped me a lot in that he allowed me to come out of the closet. Because it’s very embarrassing to become completely obsessed with something become a master of something and walk away. Because most people criticise you know, from time your child, the parents are furious that you get really good at something and you walk away and you want nothing to do with it anymore. And they’ve invested all this money in your lessons and you know, because you convince them that they had to and then you just become a master and you walk away so you get punished a lot as a kid. And so I always hit it and people didn’t know all the things I could do. Because I never talked about it because it was embarrassing. And then it came out with those books and now I’m, I’m able to come out a bit about it and what’s exciting what one of the things that’s been liberating about him coming out What those books is he’s trying to teach people in his book Four Hour Chef, how to do that how to become a master at any skill quickly. And so I’ve now started teaching people that to how to master a skill. And that’s basically what I was doing when I was training people how to learn languages quickly. I was basically teaching them how to learn anything quickly. But, you know, I was as I was just in the field of languages, but I all I was really teaching them was what I was doing from a very young age. I just did it in the field of language. But now if you kind of look at clans, I can teach you lots of things really quickly. I teach people all kinds of things quickly.
David Ralph [31:36]
And then that’s the fascinating thing about Join Up Dots. But although you say that you became an expert, and then moved on to a different field, you still have that ability, but you’ve learned whether it’s confidence, whether it’s expertise or whatever, to be able to translate those experiences into something else. No experience is ever wasted in Join Up Dots. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a job that you hate. There’s going to be Thinking that job, but five years 10 years down the line you’re looking at and go, Wow, I didn’t think that I could do this but because of that horrible situation I was in, I learned that so you’re taking the, the competence, aren’t you, but you can do these things and just translating brilliant work.
Melanie Proctor [32:19]
And I think that’s, you know, this health career that I wanted to do when I was you know, so young in my early 20s I wouldn’t have been able to do it that well, if I hadn’t done what I did in my career for 17 years you know, you know, I’m I now have to fast track people when they come, they want to know they want to learn everything they can to be able to learn to cook healthy food very quickly. They want to be able to learn nutrition very quickly. They want to learn you know, when and how to work out they want to learn all kinds of science and all kinds of cooking skills during their two week holiday. So luckily that other fields That allowed me to learn how to fast track people through anything. And so if you kind of poke at clans, we do have a detox. And we do have incredible fitness and we have all kinds of things for you to do. But if you want to come and learn, we have so many hours a day of education. So I teach cooking every day. I teach nutrition like every day. So I can fast track you on your nutrition path, I can fast I can teach you how to cook really, really quickly. So it’s
David Ralph [33:28]
a cheat sheet, you teach fast. Are we becoming like a microwave culture, but everything is press a button and three minutes later, we can do that? Or is it the incremental gains, the hours of study that truly gives you something worthwhile at the end?
Melanie Proctor [33:46]
Well, I think that’s really interesting. Should you learn it fast? Well, I think i think that i think the science of health and nutrition can be quite daunting and complicated and confusing. That’s why you know here Oh, this is good for you. Then you hear it now. It’s not good for you. Now, you know, there’s all this complexity out there, right? Like, I mean, when you say with nutrition, you just hear all kinds of stuff. You almost don’t know what to believe anymore.
David Ralph [34:10]
Oh, absolutely. One minute. They’re saying you can drink nine pints of lager one night and the next night they’re saying you can only drink knowing in a month and yeah, it goes up and down doesn’t make constant Yeah.
Melanie Proctor [34:19]
So what I do is I take in See, this is what a polymath or polymorph does, they’re able to go to the, to the deepest part of the field, like where it all starts in the body. And they learn that part, the part that makes all that kind of controls the entire field. So in the case of nutrition, I take people to what’s the part of the body who makes decisions, what’s good and what’s not good. And I teach them how that part of the body thinks that’s the mitochondria of yourselves, for example, for what I’m talking about, because it’s the mitochondria that makes all the decisions, how you age, how you detox. How do you remember that word from school? The mitochondria?
David Ralph [35:03]
I don’t I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard that before in my life, I don’t think,
Melanie Proctor [35:06]
well, it controls everything. So I train them, you know, how the mitochondria things and then I make it like a character and and make it fun and it’s silly and crazy. And I teach them the 10 things the mitochondria thinks and how it makes us decisions. And if you understand how the mitochondria things, then you you know what’s good for you and what’s not good for you. And you can you can weed through all the crap out there and you know exactly what to do. And that’s what a polymath does. So is it that they learn quickly? No, they learn efficiently, they learn in a fun, crazy, wild way that makes learning fun. And then they you know, then they might study it for years as most people do, but at least they’ve gotten to the heart of the field. And that’s what I do when I teach people to cook. I teach them first, like how do you balance a flavour how do you create a great flavour and once they have that, that’s like the heart of cooking, right? How to create a great flavour. And then you can build upon that. So,
David Ralph [36:06]
yeah, into business, because I find that one of the big failings in the world nowadays is one, one thing that when somebody starts a business, they think they’re gonna have global success in six months. And while they’re doing that, they’re comparing people that have been doing it for seven years. And think, yeah, that’s how my website should look like. That’s how I should do this. That’s how I should do that. So all you’re doing is teaching them the essence of starting quick, not that they’re going to finish quick as well.
Melanie Proctor [36:35]
Yeah, you teach him you. Yeah, you find the most critical thing. And, and I wonder if you know what I mean, like, I, I’m sure there’s I don’t know what fields you know about, but whatever, whether it’s your hobby, or whether it’s what you’re doing now. Okay, I’ll ask you about what you’re doing now. And what you’re doing right now doing this podcast and engaging the audience. You know, What what the most important thing is in that field? You know, what are the five critical things or the 10 critical things that will determine the success of a podcast? host? Yeah, absolutely. And that’s what you would teach people and you you would teach them that the the essence of it the most important things, the essence, the thing that the whole foundation is built upon. And then people, then the rest of their learning is good, what lessons learning is easy, because they understand the heart of it all.
David Ralph [37:31]
Yeah, I like that. And I like that analogy very much. But what I’m interested in is when you’ve got the ability to understand the essence, and understand what you should be projecting, is it then easier to build a business around that or is it just as difficult? Are you still trapped in the same self limiting thoughts that we all have that I haven’t quite got the money as we were talking earlier, this is going to be a risk or do you actually have a fast track past those points.
Melanie Proctor [38:00]
That’s such a good that’s a great penetrating question. Because you’re asking Yeah, ah, give me one second. Think this out because it’s it’s like actually one of the best questions I’ve ever been asked.
Unknown Speaker [38:18]
Melanie Proctor [38:21]
for example, my business, I’m in the business of it. I’m in the business of health, but because I’m also in the business of tourism and hospitality because we have a resort. I, I have to say I went down deep and I found the essence of hospitality and running a resort and I stuck to it. I stuck to it. I stick to it in every decision. I stick to it in every conversation. And everybody tries to talk me out of it. That thing that I stick to that I know is the essence of hospitality and Know that if I really stick to it, it’s always gonna work. Does that answer your question?
David Ralph [39:06]
Yeah, it does. Yeah, what what you’re saying is, yeah, okay, you’ve got the fast track, you understand the essence. But you’ve still got to put in the speed work. And you’ve still got to stick to your connections, and you’ve still got to go for that highest level of excitement and just keep on working towards it, when you’re not necessarily getting the rewards at that time. Now, what was interesting with what you were saying, is that you have this idea of what you want to do. It’s quite obviously working, but you’re still surrounded by people telling you it’s not going to work. How do you sort of overcome that? How do you sort of not go to them? Oh, just shut up. You know, you built it. I’m moving on, is doing all right. It’s doing better, better. All right. Stop criticising, how do you sort of overcome that?
Melanie Proctor [39:48]
Yeah, you know, it’s really funny. Because in the in the beginning, when it was so small, everyone thought they knew more than me. So that was tough to really stick with it. But now you’re right people. Do give me a hard time. And you know what I find that every once in a while I will suck. I will, I will listen to them. I’ll give you an example here. Let me give you an example. So I’m a health retreat. And somebody came to me dying of cancer last week. And he needed help. He had nowhere to go. He had no place to stay. He had no one to cook for him. He was just a he was an expat who was just living here in Thailand, and and got the most aggressive form of brain cancer, the most aggressive form of cancer that exists. And I was like, Okay, I’m going to take care of them. And everyone’s like, No, you know, for business reasons you can’t do that you can’t take care of somebody just comes off the street. And, you know, he puts you at risk and liability. You can’t do that. You can’t do that. But the essence of a health retreat is to be there to serve everybody. That absolute dedication to making people healthy no matter what no matter who it is, whether it’s a high pay customer or that person who shows up. That’s the essence of the business, this outpouring of love and desire to heal and help no matter what. And I actually had everybody on my case and there were moments where I try almost thought of pulling back but in the end, I stuck to it. And yeah, I and I actually am a bit sick and that I let people try to influence me and that I almost caved. So yeah, I’m but I, and you know what I what I really I should I should do, I should have done because now people think I’m such a success story. I should have explained to all those you guys have to understand the essence of how this business is built. You have to understand the essence of a health retreat. And if they had understood the essence of it with me, they would know what rubric I’m using to make decisions. So I think the mistake I’ve made is not communicating to the people around me, my staff how I do This and what the essence of it is. So I would say that that’s really important for employers to help people understand the guiding principles, and how all decisions are made.
David Ralph [42:09]
Let’s bring on a lady on the show now that’s got an amazing speech about making decisions and making the right decisions for the next move. This is all
Unknown Speaker [42:20]
the way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this too. But what is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [42:52]
Right in them.
Melanie Proctor [42:54]
Wow, I love that. I actually would love to find out how I can get that back track off of YouTube because That would really help me to share with my clients because that the way she put it is perfect.
David Ralph [43:06]
I will send it across to you or your habit by the end of the show that’d be that’d be winging its way to you. But it is true, isn’t it? It’s those moments when you get somebody coming along and giving you advice, especially in the early days. It’s because they’ve got an agenda themselves, they’re not giving them advice away for free. They’re telling you how things can work and how you can do things better. And more often than not, there’s a pitch at the end of it. They want to sell you a product, they want to do something so I just literally closed down. And I would speak to to newbies who are looking for my advice, but I wouldn’t take any advice from anyone and I was very open to making my own mistakes. And more often than not, when I look back on it, my biggest mistakes have been my biggest wins. Because I wasn’t going by the path that somebody else has created for themselves. I’ve created my own path and more often than not, it’s the right thing. hard for me. So you really do have to be careful about that kind of advice that people are so willing to give you because at the end of it, they’re doing it for a reason.
Melanie Proctor [44:09]
Yeah, I really, I really love where you said my biggest mistakes or my greatest wins because actually, the biggest thing that everybody thought I was failing on is were the keys to my success. So I think that if people can remember that, maybe they won’t know what to do with that information right now. But if they just remember that your biggest miss what what the world sees is your biggest mistakes can be your greatest wins. That will help them when they’re doing that thing that’s so unique to them that’s so weird and quirky that the rest of the world can understand there’s where you’re going to have your when there’s where your authenticity and your unique niches shining through. Yeah, that’s perfect. I hope people remember that. That’s great advice.
David Ralph [44:51]
There’s a What is your biggest failure stroke? When was the thing that you look back on it and you go pro? Yeah, at the time, I thought that was mad. But my God, that’s genius.
Melanie Proctor [45:03]
Well, what everybody was giving me advice on was that I had to not I shouldn’t you know, you need to run it like a hotel, you need to charge people for everything that they do if they want to go water if they want an extra this, they weren’t an extra that if they weren’t an extra massage, you have to charge them and I was like, No, if they want to, you know, I also would allow people Hey, you know what, yeah, you didn’t lose all that weight. You want to lose stay a few extra nights on me. Why don’t you stay two weeks? Give me two weeks and I just give it to them? I don’t think about it, right? I don’t think about everything and everyone’s like, No, you got to charge for that. You got to charge for that. And I was like, No, what’s what what’s gonna make us is that people are going to see that we are not like any other hotel. We are here for their success and their happiness no matter what. We’ll work it out in the end, not with them. You know, we’ll just our business will make it net that will come to them at the end for money. I mean, we give a lot of stuff away. So When sad, I give them massage. I don’t charge them for anything. They need extra training. I bring in personal trainers, I don’t charge them for that. But I know in the end someday, that generosity will actually make a name for itself. And it will pay for itself off pay itself off multiple multiple times many times over. And yeah, that was our niche is that we ran the business off of extreme ridiculous, insane generosity.
David Ralph [46:32]
That’s massive, unexpected value, isn’t it? And those guests are gonna come back and they’re gonna tell people and word of mouth, you can’t replace it. And they’re gonna go Joe, I was there and I had this and I had that and then they gave me two nights extra and the people are gonna go Really? Why did they do that? And that creates a buzz. I think that is genius. Massive unexpected value is really what wins the game.
Melanie Proctor [46:56]
Yeah, and you know, just even like say, there’s a woman she’s there two weeks and at the end, she never lost her weight. I will say to her, why don’t she come back again, when you can come back for two more weeks on me and bring your partner bring your boyfriend, bring whoever and they’re like, what I mean, what Hotel in the world does that but to me that was the right thing to do. That’s the right thing to do. I don’t lose anything from it. And even if I did, it would be worth that investment to have such insane just being just such so generous. You know? That’s a niche.
David Ralph [47:34]
It certainly is a niche and is a niche that is going to be transferable away from Thailand. Have you got plans for global domination?
Melanie Proctor [47:43]
Um, people you know, I have people come every single week here, sometimes a few a week and asked me how they can invest or how they can franchise and you know, I think we’d love to have people have the opportunity to to franchise my big thing is To take this model and put it into cities, maybe through franchisees because it’s people like you right now you got a cold you don’t feel your best wouldn’t be nice to come into you know, maybe it’s a restaurant a gym where everybody knows you they’re really totally dedicated to your healing. You know that that same crazy generosity and absolute dedication to healing if you knew there was a place like that right around the corner when you walk in? Oh, no, you’re you’re sick. Oh, God, well, here’s a few supplements. Take this. Come back tomorrow. See how you are, you know, all this unexpected desire to heal you? Wouldn’t that be nice?
David Ralph [48:37]
be lovely is utopia, isn’t it?
Melanie Proctor [48:40]
Yeah. And if we brought that to cities, you know, that would be amazing. And I would love you know, I would love to have, you know, here at Paquette cleanse, we have one giant table that goes across the whole place. So all the guests sit together at every meal, it’s not little restaurant tables. And that’s what I would do in a city to begin This incredible spirit of community develops around the concept of nutrition, health, fitness, just just all these positive things. And so I think that would be really interesting in the cities to have like a healthy restaurant, healthy cafe, maybe with some supplements and a lot of lots of workshops.
where people could go in every city,
David Ralph [49:22]
I think you’re onto something big. I really do. I I actually, I’ve hit my highest level of excitement through what you’re talking about, I actually see something that is exciting, worthwhile, and people will clamour for that because people generally now they they fall into two camps. They’re either ones that don’t look after themselves. And because I’m kind of, I suppose you’d call it skinny fat. I don’t do any exercise, but I’ve just remained naturally skinny. I guess I don’t look after myself at all. But then you’ve got my wife on the other side who’s always going out for walks and running and doing things you know, because he falls into that camp. And so you you have to something on you, you want to something that is at least 50% of the world’s population would find value in.
Melanie Proctor [50:06]
Yeah. Yeah. And I wonder if you feel like see right now like we I’m generating this, this, you and I are generating this feeling of excitement. And it’s almost it’s almost something you can feel. Do you feel it? Like, do you feel like this is you feel the kind of the essence of this whole business?
David Ralph [50:25]
Yeah, I do. I feel it from my side of the fence having this conversation. I can feel it from your passion, your enthusiasm, the fact that you’re doing something bad on the sort of the looking in from it almost seems like madness, but until you explain it, and you kind of think No, that’s genius. You know, I can see that I can see that totally. And I can understand why so many hotel owners were saying now you’ve got to have a minibar and you’ve got to charge for the bottle of water and you’ve got to do all that. I can see that because that’s just what’s always been done. And that’s the key essence of what Join Up Dots is all about is about creating your own path. And if it feels right inside you and it excites you, then go for it. But don’t listen to people that will can deviate you from that path to drag you off from that path because you’re gonna end up on their path. And that is one full of competition. By creating your own path, you’re gonna do something new and unique. And if the world likes it, then bang. Yeah, it’s like things like, you know, going back in time the Rubik’s cube and stuff. You look at it, and you think that’s madness, multi millionaire. You look at all of them, cabbage, Patch Kids, all these kind of stuff. People were told that it wasn’t going to work. There was no point in them doing it. But they ignored everyone and they did it anyway, because it felt right inside. And now we all look at it and go Yeah, it was always gonna work. Because we just get sucked into that success vacuum, when all the naysayers disappear. We all steam in and that’s when true success starts forming.
Melanie Proctor [51:54]
Yeah, yeah, it’s it’s, um, thank you and I really I really appreciate doing This, this show because it’s allowed me to take a trip down memory lane and to revisit my values. That’s a great opportunity for for entrepreneurs or anybody in any field to have a chance to talk to you and revisit the values that they started with. Because sometimes you get scared. And you wonder, you wonder, no,
David Ralph [52:21]
well, we’re gonna play the words now of the whole show. And this is the speech that Steve Jobs did back in 2005. And it’s why we call it Join Up Dots. And then afterwards, we’re gonna ask you the big question that we asked all our guests. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [52:35]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny life, karma, whatever because believing that the doctor We’ll connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [53:09]
Well, that certainly made all the difference for you. But the question we always ask is, what is your big.on? That Join Up Dots timeline? More often than not, there’s a moment there’s a situation that could be unexpected at the time. But when you look back on it, you think, yeah, that’s when things started to really go in my direction. Do you know what your big dog was?
Melanie Proctor [53:31]
Um, yeah, it was when, when I, you know, had that, that, that dream about the, you know, that symbol that I saw in my meditation, and I went into that gym, and I just said, you know, are you selling this place? Are you renting it? And knowing when they said, No, they’re going to sell it but it was ridiculous. And just knowing that they would be back in touch and then the day they called, I went and did the deal.
David Ralph [54:06]
And what was the symbol Melanie?
Melanie Proctor [54:09]
Oh is the weirdest symbol. I have no idea why a gym but it was like a picture of an alien. I mean, why a gym would have a picture of an alien on the front. And it was a boxing gym was a picture of an alien on a boxing gym.
David Ralph [54:23]
I don’t I’ve seen it before I do been in that area.
Melanie Proctor [54:26]
No, I never seen I never seen that gym. I never seen that picture before is weird.
David Ralph [54:32]
He’s really bizarre, isn’t it?
Melanie Proctor [54:34]
Yeah. Yeah. But you know, just and I remember that knowing like, they’re gonna call me you know, feet down. They’re gonna call me. I don’t know what it’s gonna be. But I’m just going to enjoy my life. And just get ready. And that’s what I did. I got ready. I got ready. I was working on my body. I was working on my fitness so that when I did take over the gym, I’d be fit enough that I could walk out and look like somebody who was a gym owner.
David Ralph [54:58]
You’ve got the competence in yesterday. Ave, but that moment, you just knew it was gonna pan out. And that is so powerful, as is the fact that you simply for that I can do this. And that’s a real great starting point when you wanted to have that retreat. Once you get that, I think I can do this. You’re halfway there, aren’t you? You just need to go and do it after that.
Melanie Proctor [55:20]
Yeah, yeah, just do it just, absolutely. You know, and, and stay authentic. And, you know, do what feels so true to you, no matter how weird it is stay authentic to you.
David Ralph [55:35]
Well, we’re gonna send you back in time now, because this is getting close to the end of the show. And this is the part that we called a sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger Melanie, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fade, you’re out. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [56:06]
With the best bit of the show, man, my man
Melanie Proctor [56:21]
yes so I would actually believe it or not choose age 4039 H 39 which is not very, not very young but I at that I advice I would give is
you’re going to get past this.
You’re going to get past it
and the success that’s in store for you is beyond their wildest dreams.
Just Breathe, pray and know
if you’re going to get past this, and you’re going to heal, and you’re going to be strong, and you’re going to be a model for other people in the same situation.
David Ralph [57:18]
Man, and he was the number one best way that our audience can connect with you.
Melanie Proctor [57:24]
Um, well, I think the best way is Facebook.
Melanie Proctor is my name.
Yeah, my Facebook. Or my email, people can email me at Melanie Proctor that’s with an firstname.lastname@example.org.
David Ralph [57:42]
We’ll have links on the show notes. Melanie, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our pasts is the best way to build our futures. Melanie Proctor. Thank you so much.
Melanie Proctor [58:00]
Thank you. I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much.
David Ralph [58:03]
Yes, as always, thank you so much for listening to this show. I do apologise that I’m, I’m close to death. The cold has grabbed me. But if you are generous enough to tell somebody about the show, tell two or three people or go over to iTunes and leave ratings and reviews, then it really is the Rocket Power that gets it to the top and it means that I can afford medical help to get me to the next show. So thank you so much, everybody. Thank you for listening as always, and I will see you again This is David Ralph from Join Up Dots saying goodbye.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.