Paige Burkes Joins Us On the Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Paige Burkes
Paige Burkes is today’s guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots Business podcast.
She is a wife, mother of three awesome kids, writer, entrepreneur, mentor, yogini and finance executive.
She lives in the mountains outside of Colorado Springs, CO with her domestic cats, dog and mountain lions.
Yeah honestly, these are full fledged mountain lions, the scary ones that you see in films terrorising communities, and making chickens fly into the air!
But if you think that this lady is someone born to be living in the wilderness, then think again.
Growing up in New Orleans then moving to Boston for college and the beginning of her career, she was a “city girl” who never spent much time outdoors.
But after seven years in Corporate America, she wondered if that was what she was supposed to do with the rest of her life.
How The Dots Joined Up For Paige
The intuitive answer was a resounding NO but like so many of us find out, she had no idea what the answer was.
So she dropped out, put all of her things in storage, packed up her Jeep with some essentials and followed the voice in her head that said,
“Go west and do something with horses.”
Her logical mind asked, “Where west and do what with horses?”
And the voice wisely answered, “You go figure it out.”
And so off she went, into the unknown and a future that was less than certain, which I think is the perfect starting point to today’s episode.
How did she overcome the fear that usually holds so many of us back as we start to get that vibe of “There must be more to life than this”?
And what does she think when she looks back at those seven years in Corporate? A waste of time, or a huge stepping stone to where she is today?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Paige Burkes.
Show Highlights
During the episode we discussed deep subjects with Paige Burkes such as:
How she agrees totally with the words of Oprah, who wisely says “You are not defined by any decisions that you make”….try something and then see if it works. No problem!
The reasons why she took a very small step towards her new future, and the confidence it bred before taking the whole plunge
How she recalls the competition that she felt internally, which led to her placing so much pressure on herself to be the best she could.
And lastly……….
The steps she took that form a business master-class to study and follow for every listener of Join Up Dots
Paige Burkes Book
How To Connect With Paige Burkes
Return To The Top Of Paige Burkes
If you enjoyed this episode with Paige Burkes, why not check out other inspirational chat with Jeremy Reeves, One Year No Beer, Dan Martell and the amazing Dan Lok
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Paige Burkes Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Are you longing for more money, freedom and choices in your life, but perhaps you’re the kind of person that’s sitting around and waiting for things to happen for you Let me tell you, it ain’t gonna happen. You need to go after it. Well for the lessons we’ve learned interviewing over 500 super successful men and women on Join Up Dots, we’re bringing you the steps you need to take to get your own personal dream life. Dream starters Academy is the amazing group mastermind coaching and training platform, giving you access to weekly challenges, group support coaching, video tutorials, and then amazing members only podcast all designed to get you moving towards a life that you deserve. This is a V hope to start turning Bose dreams into a reality. So don’t be the one that is looking around everyone else’s success become that success simply by sending an email to Join Up dots@gmail.com stating I want the dream and we’re Connect personally with every single one of you get a dream today.
Intro [0:57]
When we’re young, we have an amazing pocket. Have outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [1:23]
Yes, hello there, everybody and welcome up cold uttered Join Up Dots. This is Episode 465. Yeah, we’ve gone past that middle ground. And we’re moving up to this old the half century, nipomo and a half century, the half. What is half 1000? I don’t know what I’m talking about. But the 500th episode is getting very, very close. So we’re looking forward to that. Got some good things planned. But of course, we’ve got a great guest on for today’s show. And she’s, she’s a guest with an interesting story. Very interesting story. So when I sort of saw her, I thought, yeah, gotta have her on because she’s a wife, a mother of three awesome kids. A writer, entrepreneur. Mental yogini I didn’t even know that existed and finance executive. She lives in the mountains outside of Colorado Springs with her domestic cats, dogs and mountain lions. Yeah, honestly, these are full fledged mountain lions, the scary ones that you see in films, terrorising communities and making chickens fly into the air. But if you think that this is a lady that was born to be living in the wilderness and think again, growing up in New Orleans and moving to Boston for college and the beginning of her career, she was a city girl who never spent much time outdoors. But after seven years in corporate America, she wondered if that was what she was supposed to do with the rest of her life. And the inside answer, the intuitive answer was a resounding no. But like so many of us find out at that moment she heard the no but she had no idea what the answer was. So she dropped out, but all of the things in storage packed up a Jeep with some essentials and followed the voice in her head that said, Go West and do something with horses. I don’t know if it had that kind of voice. But anyhow That’s what she did a logical mind asked where West and do what with horses and the voice wise the answered, you go figure it out not too helpful but there you go. And so obviously you went into the unknown and a future that was less than certain which I think is the perfect starting point to today’s episode. How did she overcome the fear but usually held so many of us back as we start to get viable there must be more to life than this. And what does she think when she looks back at oh seven years in corporate, a waste of time or a huge stepping stone to where she is today? Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Paige Burkes. How are you Paige?
Paige Burkes [3:35]
I’m awesome. David, how are you? What
David Ralph [3:38]
do I sound awesome. I feel full of energy. All the time. Yeah, I do I feel full of energy. I I think I must have yogini spirit in me. Your inner Zen. Yes. My inner said I didn’t even know what it is that what you call somebody that does yoga yogini or am I saying it wrong?
Paige Burkes [3:55]
It is yogini that’s a term. I’ve heard somebody who’s Really into yoga.
David Ralph [4:01]
And you can can you like touch your toes and do the, the downward dog or whatever it’s called and all that kind of bendy stuff?
Paige Burkes [4:09]
I can. I’m a regular Gumby.
David Ralph [4:11]
You can So what was the most flexible you can be?
Paige Burkes [4:17]
Oh, gosh, it depends on how much I challenge myself. Usually it’s I tell people when they don’t think they’re all stretchy or anything, it’s all in your mind and how much you can. If you release your mind, you can release your body more than you think
David Ralph [4:31]
he’s true, because I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never ever since a kid, well, not even as a kid. I’ve never been able to touch my toes. And I’ve always put it down to that I’ve got very long legs and short arms.
Paige Burkes [4:45]
I have very long legs too, but my my son is a little stiffer than my daughter’s when we all practice yoga together. So some people Yes, they are stiffer than others. But if you were determined to get your fingers to your toes, given some time and breathing exercise izes you could get there.
David Ralph [5:01]
So I could I could do it. I could I could do it as sort of a daily exercise touch me toes.
Paige Burkes [5:08]
daily practice. Yep.
David Ralph [5:09]
That’s what life’s all about. And it is isn’t it really is all about those incremental gains those those small steps that lead to something. But at the beginning, you couldn’t believe that you could do but you just write do tiny, tiny things all the time, which is kind of like your life really, I’m looking at the story that I’ve read out. It’s full of small stepping stones, isn’t it leading to where you are today? So where you are today is Colorado Springs. It is for people that don’t know, it’s quite kind of, well, I imagine john Wayne’s or riding around it’s those kind of True Grit cowboy kind of images, isn’t it?
Paige Burkes [5:48]
parts of it are Yeah, I mean, we live up in the mountains in the middle of nowhere, and we have horses among all the other critters so you could draw that picture. Yeah.
David Ralph [5:57]
And you have mountain lines and these are Proper ones because I was researching and I saw it said mountain lions and I thought wow is nice just gonna be large cat or something. And I clicked through happily and it was it was actually proper, scary old mountain lions. Are they? Are they can they have you? Do you have to be wary of them?
Paige Burkes [6:18]
Yes, you do have to be wary with them. My husband’s been working with him for over 20 years. So he’s he’s learned how to sort of get up close and personal in a safe way with them. I don’t go out there with them every day. So I can’t you know, he’s certainly the specialist there. But each one is different. They’re all animals are like people. I mean, people are animals too. We all have different personalities. So some are a little nutty, that you need to be wary around and others are like a Labrador Retriever.
David Ralph [6:47]
I’m like that with my wife. I’ve been working with her for about 30 years and I know when she’s going to attack so I think Yeah, I’m all right. I’m safe in her vicinity, but other people, you don’t want to get on the wrong side, but you really don’t.
Paige Burkes [7:00]
I’ve used one of the one of my husband’s favourite mountain lions as a way to describe them to help him understand women. So he understood her very well. And I’ve used that as a tool to help him understand human women.
David Ralph [7:12]
We’re not supposed to understand women. Hey, Joey really at the end of the day, main lights, simple dogs, your feeders tickle our tummies and, you know, do some other stuff. And that’s it. That’s all we will
Paige Burkes [7:25]
keep you happy, right?
David Ralph [7:26]
He was happy. So are you totally happy now? Are you in your that voice in your head that said, Go West and do something with horses? Was it spot on?
Paige Burkes [7:38]
It was I at the time. I never could have imagined what adventures that that voice would lead me on. It got to be. I knew the corporate life in Boston, which is what I thought I was supposed to do. It took probably a year but a year and a half before that voice got loud enough for me to To overcome the What am I supposed to do because I was so used to being that I you know, call it accountant, just analytical brain, I’ve got to have my one 510 20 year plans, everything goes along with the plan. In a sense, you end up being a control freak with all that to put that intuitive voice just kept getting louder and louder and I kept trying to push it back, but it kept getting louder and I thought, okay, I, I can’t not listen to this anymore. I don’t know what it means or where I’m supposed to go, but I have to not keep doing what I was doing. So it’s like they say when you go on a 2000 mile journey, you can’t see the entire road, especially in the dark. All you can see is what your headlights will shine right in front of you. And that’s really what the whole, you know, for the last almost 20 years have been like,
David Ralph [8:53]
now you can answer back is the most stupid question the most annoying question that you’ve ever been asked. But Was he an actual voice? Or was it just a kind of feeling that you had?
Paige Burkes [9:05]
For me, it’s I know a lot of people experience things differently. For me it was a very clear voice
David Ralph [9:11]
in a man’s voice or a lady’s voice. In my own voice,
Paige Burkes [9:15]
I call it the with capital letters, my true self. That’s what I’ve come to, to call that. It’s the quiet little voice that’s inside of you that always knows what’s right and good for you, even though it might scare the bejesus out of your logical self
David Ralph [9:30]
is hugely powerful. Wow, I, I’ve always listened to that voice without knowing that I was listening to it until I’ve started doing this show. And of course, we play a clip I’m gonna play in a moment actually, but Oprah talks quite openly about listening to that little boys and and Oprah is a great believer in GE, she had a bit of advice the other day, which I thought was great, but if you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything until the answer comes to you. Don’t ask your mate and don’t ask your mom and dad and because they We’ll give you their opinions not what’s right for you just sort of sit there until this little voice starts. So I’m going to bring her on the show. And then we’re going to talk about this because I think it is fascinating how you listen to this voice, where so many of us kind of ignore it. But in some way, it knows this is Oprah.
Oprah Winfrey [10:17]
The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because, you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [10:49]
It’s such brilliant advice, but isn’t a page.
Paige Burkes [10:52]
I completely agree with it. Yes.
David Ralph [10:54]
Which bits do you agree because every time I listen to it, I hear like another part and I vote casteen on a different bit bear. The fact that you’re not defined by that one decision, which
Paige Burkes [11:07]
I picked up about six or eight little tidbits you’re mentioning
David Ralph [11:12]
was the one that jumped out at you.
Paige Burkes [11:16]
Everything I mean, that refuted where everything is just the next decision. And being in mindfulness and present moment, all you have is right now the decision you make right now. So you even though I’d love to plan out my next 20 years, I’ve definitely learned that’s completely impossible, and sort of a silly use of time. But it’s it how do you want to live? How do you want to be? It really doesn’t matter. Like she said, what other people think of you what happens in a moment, there is no failure. Everything’s an experiment. You try something either it works, you do more of it, it doesn’t work. You don’t do that again, do something different.
David Ralph [11:53]
So, but but most people don’t know dubay. Most people get that kind of paralysis, but they just don’t do anything. They might be in a situation that they don’t like, but they put up with it. Even though if everything was taken away from you, you, you’d fight back somehow you more often than not, I don’t think if you took everything away from me, I think I would be able to do it again. Because I’ve got that competence. I’ve done it the first time. Did you feel the same? Same way?
Paige Burkes [12:23]
Oh, sure. In my sort of adventures West, I, you could say everything was taken from me. I mean, I was it was just being a little bit of my stuff in a track and at some points, I didn’t even have that. So you know, life is an adventure and just be open to surprises.
David Ralph [12:43]
So let’s talk about you in Boston. Then you get this little voice. And did you say to Veera or Chuck or whoever’s sitting on the desk with you? Yeah, I’m getting this voice. I should be doing something. Oh, did you just kind of keep it to yourself.
Paige Burkes [12:58]
I kept it to myself, and Like you said in the intro I, up to that point had always really been a city girl. You know, outside was dirt and bugs and that just wasn’t for me. But my younger brother was, you know, Mr. outdoors and love to camp and hike and all kinds of things. And he, I remember it, we got together for a holiday and he pulled out his outside magazine. And I started looking through it and at first I when I looked at it initially I thought, well, that’s that’s for him. I don’t do things like that. But as that it was initially a feeling that turned into the voice of go west, but it was this first it was just a feeling that what I’m doing wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. And again, had no idea what what I was supposed to do what was wrong with what I was doing. But I found myself going through like outside, I subscribed started to subscribe outside magazine and started cutting out pictures and quotes and other things and other magazines and just putting them in a little folder. I didn’t know why but it was sort of a collection of things. That my heart connected with. And I just felt compelled to keep assembling them in a folder which I still have, again, not knowing what the whole point was. And every now and then I’d go through the folder and say, Okay, what is this supposed to mean? And it was clear that all this sort of outdoor and being the present moment really wasn’t connecting with the life that I was leading. You know, living in a big city working for the big firm trying to make partner faster than anyone ever had and that type of thing.
David Ralph [14:33]
And it clearly defined a different part of you. Or is that is that lady that corporate ladies still being dragged around? Have you left a totally behind?
Paige Burkes [14:44]
No, I still work a corporate job. Now. I’ve just learned to do it very differently. right out of college. I was I think one of it. I hear from so many people who are in their 20s who think oh, I’m a failure because I haven’t figured out my Life yet I’m not on the path to whatever career or just got out of college now what am I supposed to do? I was I think we all think you’re supposed to come out and have everything all laid out and figured out. And I think I was maybe the point 5% that did when I got out of college I went, I was an accounting major went straight into the one of the big firms at the time, you know, went straight for the the partner path and all of that. And along the way, just started looking around. I was like, wait, I thought this is what you’re supposed to do. But I don’t see too many other people doing this. And they’re either still confused about what they were supposed to do or decided to go out left field. I’ll never forget the time when I was working at this firm that I had to call the Los Angeles office and the person I was looking for, wasn’t there. And I said, so where is he? And he said, Oh, he quit last week to go surf the world. And I’ll never forget hearing that and I thought wow, you Just do that.
And apparently he had quite happily. So that stuck in my mind is, you know, where do I go from here was well, you could really just do anything. And I know can you that that
David Ralph [16:13]
is that is the key thing. It’s only I don’t know what it is, is it? peer pressure? Is it the fear of the possibilities or whatever, but there’s no reason you know, I’m in a lovely family with kids and everything that you would want. There’s no reason that I couldn’t just walk away from them. I’m not gonna do that, because that’d be wrong. But you could. The decisions are totally up to you every single day, but for some reason, we just don’t go for those possibilities. Did you ever see that film with Ben Stiller? The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, have you seen that? It’s been a while but yeah, I sat there and I watched that and I was astonished by how life passes by, and it’s very similar to that Jim Carrey refilm the Yes man where he has kind of trapped until he starts saying yes to things and he’s like just changes dramatically because more often than not we say no to everything don’t wait. Oh, do you want to come out tonight? Oh no, I can’t you’re not really doing anything you just you just don’t. And I love your spirit I love the fact that it was crazy moment it was crazy moment in your life but but you still packed up well, will you choose the scared at that time when you put it in storage? Or did you just go okay, if it doesn’t pan out, I come back.
Paige Burkes [17:31]
That’s exactly what it was. When I I took a little stepping stone from the big firm. I got an offer to temporarily help wanting down a company and I was thinking maybe you know, it’s the different work environment. I’ll go try that. And I had it all set up. So if it didn’t work out, I just go back to the firm. It ended up working out fine, but it was meant to be short term and I thought there’s no way I could go back to what I was doing before and that is That little step was help, I guess, allay some of the fears that, you know, oh my god, there’s nothing else out there. But that first job I had, I mean, there’s an infinite number of things out there. So it was just kind of stepping from one thing to another. And when I knew I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, and I didn’t know what to do, I was in this in between place and you know, thought, well, I got to pay the rent. So, you know, I went back to waitressing in restaurants, something I had done years and years before because, you know, no ego or anything else. It was just I don’t know what the next step is. So let’s do this for a little bit and see what happens. So I, you know, went off the path there and a lot of things keep, you know, sort of opened up. And that was the time when especially that voice of Go West really started getting loud and I think I’d gotten away from all that I was supposed to do all the shoulds and you know, your family asking you if you’re Crazy and what the heck you’re trying to do. And you just have to say, hey, trust me, I this is my life and I’ll figure it out.
David Ralph [19:09]
I’ll tell you what we should have had you as the 500 guests. And, and what is half of 1000? At the beginning I was saying it was the century. No, I couldn’t work it out. You’re an accountant wants half 1500
Paige Burkes [19:24]
Desa something?
David Ralph [19:26]
I don’t know. I don’t know. I went totally blank. If anybody knows out there, email this through because I was struggling on that one way at the beginning. And we’ve got the greatest brain in accountancy and she’s got no one here. So we
Paige Burkes [19:40]
something in Latin, I don’t know.
David Ralph [19:41]
Yeah, I’ve got no idea on that. But when you did this, because it this is a blueprint. This is why you should be on the 500 show. For anyone out listening to this. The first thing that pages done is she listened to herself. She listened to what was going on inside inside her body, and back, she kept it to herself. She didn’t share it with people. And that’s one of the big mistakes that people make. First of all, you share it with people. And they’re like, what you’re doing, I’ll come out for a drink and you forget about it the next day, and as soon as you get the slightest bit of, I don’t know, lack of motivation coming towards you, you just kind of died somehow. Was it? Was that a master plan of yours to keep it to yourself? Or did you just think he was having some kind of breakdown?
Paige Burkes [20:28]
As an extreme introvert, I’d say more than the now but I didn’t share much of anything anyway. So there were certainly no plan behind it. Is I felt like it was anyone I knew was either part of some part of the corporate life part of you know, the my job life and even my friends that I hang out with at night, were all part of the some of the people I worked with. So they definitely weren’t going to be the people who would support something like that. And it to me, it felt, you know, sort of a Private decision. Usually you don’t want to tell people that you work with it, you are leaving the company that you are with them.
David Ralph [21:09]
So they turn nasty down all the time. And you end up having to deal with inboxes. And God knows what. Yeah, I don’t know why they do that bow because we’ve got every right to leave, we have every right to join the company, we’ve got every right to leave, but they do. I left my last company. And I had to work three months notice which was a long time because I’d been there. And literally from the time I handed in my notice, no one’s of note spoke to me that the sort of the the normal folk in the company was speaking to me, but the sort of management and the senior management and the directors, it was just like, I wasn’t there anymore. And the first week I was thinking, I can’t put up with this. And by the second week, I started planning Join Up Dots. And by the third week, I was just working on that really so it was like a kind of leap of a slap. To find that was paid for me, but they they did they just sort of turned funny on me somehow after 10 years.
Paige Burkes [22:08]
Yeah, well, I’ve learned in many corporate jobs after the fact that I mean, there’s nothing safe and secure. There’s no you know, no sense of, you know, sticking behind people because of how long you’ve been there anything. It’s just if you’re working today, great. You’re part of the team today. If you decide not to, you know, we’ll go elsewhere.
David Ralph [22:28]
The The other thing that I loved that you were saying as well basically is part two of the master plan by Paige Burks. And that was the fact that you had no ego, you were willing to do stuff to sort of help you transition. And that is a key part again, isn’t it? It’s unlikely to go as swimmingly well as you want at the beginning, but if you can throw your ego away and go, yeah, okay, I’ll serve balling up. I’ll do whatever, just to bring some coin in. That’s a big head start.
Paige Burkes [22:59]
Right I mean the your job doesn’t define who you are how you make money doesn’t define who you are. There are plenty of people who express their passions in many ways and still have to pay the rent so they do whatever they need to do so. And I, I’ve now come to call it my two year sabbatical of when I left Boston before I got back into a more corporate job but in a very different way. And I I waited tables, I muck stalls and fed horses for just about minimum wage trained horses, worked at a dude ranch where I, you know, cook clean the rooms. What does that say
David Ralph [23:38]
about the animals? Well, what what is that?
Paige Burkes [23:41]
dude ranch is their lack of I’m in Colorado and Wyoming out here, but it’s a Guest Ranch. A lot of families usually come or sometimes it’s just individuals, couples. And in the summer, it’s usually in the summers. They come for a week and it’s an all inclusive your meals, all the activities we take people out for horseback rides, take them fishing, hiking, to sit on the front porch of the lodge and you know, have a drink. You know, plenty of good food, just it’s sort of just that outdoor, the western experience, and some are much more posh and others. You get on a horse and you’re literally driving cows for a few days. We didn’t do that at this particular one, but
David Ralph [24:26]
like that feel city slickers.
Paige Burkes [24:28]
Exactly, that’s, that’s where it started. So,
David Ralph [24:31]
oh, did that actually lead the way was that as sort of a new thing created by that film?
Paige Burkes [24:36]
Yes, it created the popularity of them. Definitely.
David Ralph [24:39]
Wow. I always thought that was a sort of representation of what was going on out there.
Paige Burkes [24:46]
There is quite a bit of that definitely. But there’s also the the city people who would who don’t want to go quite that far into the rustic aspects of, you know, being on the ranch.
David Ralph [24:59]
Did you Too far because I was talking to somebody the other day, and I was in a bar. And my mates girlfriend said to me, Would you like a shot? And I said, No, I don’t really like shells, I don’t really want one. And she said, I bet I know which shot you would want to go in. And she sort of went through him. And she’s not going to get the one that I would go with. And I would go with tequila. Now, there might be some other mad ones out there. But the reason I would go with tequila is I don’t like shots. So if I was going to do one, it’s got to be something worth doing. So it’s got to have an activity attached with it. So I can say, at least I’ve done that. And she said to me, are you always going to take the worst experience? And I said, Yeah, if I’ve got to do something, I want the full experience. I don’t want to do it halfway. And that seems to be your essence which which is interesting, because you’re very introverted, as you say, but you’re willing to tackle things to the fall. Does that come from your being introverted, that you’re willing to sort of Go back that one step further.
Paige Burkes [26:03]
I’m not sure if it’s for being introverted. It’s, if you’re going to do something, do it, you know, don’t tiptoe around it because you’re not going to get the full experience. And you know, be be fully immersed in whatever it is you’re doing. But
figure out if you want more of it, or you want less of it and
David Ralph [26:23]
yeah, so But where did you get that? That that? That feeling? But you know, if you’re gonna do it, just do it don’t don’t sort of pussyfoot around.
Paige Burkes [26:33]
I think I think it maybe came from just now that you’re making me think about it. From even when I was a little kid, just never feeling like anything I did was quite enough. So I was the overachiever. So if I was going to do something, I was going to be the best at it. But otherwise it was, you know, what was the point and I don’t want to be mediocre at anything. So if I’m going to do it, Got to be the best.
David Ralph [27:02]
It’s funny, I was just speaking to a guy before you and he said exactly the same thing, that there’s no point in being mediocre. He feels it so strongly that if he’s going to do anything, it’s got to be the best thing that he can do if he has to help with his kids homework. He’s kids gonna go in with the most amazing homework, he just builds his competitive spirit. Is that competitive just internally with you? Or is that competitive against other people as well?
Paige Burkes [27:32]
really only with me, it’s how can I one up myself? You know, I look at something just Well, do you think you could do it? Well, let’s see if you can do it. And so I do it. Okay, what’s something different or better than that? I never compared to other people, it’s, I’m on my own path. Other people are on their path. So it just doesn’t seem right to compare myself to other people.
David Ralph [27:59]
So Yeah, you end up in Colorado. And you’ve taken these small steps. You’ve been packed up and you’ve driven across. When did it start coming together? Yeah, I’m not gonna go back. This is where I found my voice was right.
Paige Burkes [28:17]
As soon as I left, I knew it was right. So I when I left Boston, I didn’t know where I was going to end up. You know, I, I drove to Colorado, and then drove all over the West, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, Oregon. And my contingency plan was if nothing popped up along the way, I’d end up at my brother’s place in San Francisco, which is what happened. And then I thought, well, now what? And I stayed there for a couple weeks and got online and I played I don’t know what stuff with horses, and I ended up signing up at the last minute for an outfitting school, outside of Jackson Hole Wyoming, which an outfitter Is somebody who hire to take you on a hunt or some kind of, you know, fishing or outdoor adventures and things like that. And when I called the guy to sign up, I said, Well, I’m interested in the, in this course, but I’m not going to kill anything. I mean, a lot of people hire Outfitters to go on hunting trips. And he said, Well, whether you shoot with a gun or shoot with a camera, it’s all the same thing. And I said, I’ll bring my camera so and a couple weeks later ended up in living basically in the lose white canvas, hunting tents out in the middle of nowhere, for about a month and a half learning how to hunt fish, pack horses, shoot guns, you know, do all the things that an outfitter does, which I think was probably one of the best experiences of my life. And, you know, again, being a total city person, and just that, well, it’s horses. Let’s try that and come to find out out there. We’re, I think there were about seven of us in that class. And the guy had been running his the outfitting class for about 25 years. And this was the first time he’d ever had not only one but two women in his class, there was another woman who was she was from Australia, her husband was from the US. So she and I were the first woman they’d ever had in the class. And it was so out of the ordinary for anything I’ve ever done. But I was so willing to learn and be there and be open to whatever happened. And that experience gave me 100% confidence that I can take on anything that comes up in my life, you know, going from city person to living in a tent in the middle of nowhere. And it says, You the people with you, you got some horses, and that’s about it. You know, if I can do that I can do anything.
David Ralph [30:57]
And did you have to sort of change the environment he wouldn’t have worked as well if it was five minutes outside Boston.
Paige Burkes [31:07]
doubtful because that it’s almost like you’ve got the crutch of the city. When you live in a tent, two and a half hours from anywhere, you don’t just pop over to the store and, you know, grab a stick of butter because you ran out.
David Ralph [31:24]
And dinner I’ve never actually picked up a gun. And I’ve never ever sat on a horse as far as I remember, I’ve got no knowledge of sitting on a horse at all. Did it come naturally to you these things? Or was it really something that little by little you grew into?
Paige Burkes [31:44]
Um, I don’t know why. There’s always been something with me and horses. I grew up in cities, suburbia, other than a summer camp, where you know, they had horses at the camp where apparently apparently I was a natural as a little kid, but I didn’t have a lot of experience. I’ve just thought I always had, I don’t know, a connection or sort of a natural way of being around horses. So I was very comfortable with that.
David Ralph [32:08]
I’m gonna play some words. Now that’s gonna take us to the next part of the conversation because you really have tapped into something here. This is this is what Join Up Dots is all about. This is Jim Carrey.
Unknown Speaker [32:18]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [32:46]
Now what what lessons did you learn from your parents? Were they lessons that allowed you to fly or were they lessons that most of us get that kind of hold us down somehow?
Paige Burkes [32:58]
I think they were more the lessons that hold you Down.
Because I it seemed that no matter what I did, it wasn’t quite enough.
I was always, you know, trying to be better, but it was, you know, never good enough, even the top of my class or whatever it was, you know, never forget the time at the end of a school year and they have an award ceremony. And I don’t know, it was maybe later in high school. And we left the award ceremony and my brother came up to me and said, What happened? What’s wrong? You didn’t get an award this year. I just messed up because I didn’t. I wasn’t the best at something. I think that the messages they’re I had were one of the things I’ve had to release. So that I’m not either pushing or judging myself in a negative way where it’s, you know, even though you’ve figured the best it’s still not good enough. There’s something that isn’t quite right. And I Had to, I don’t want to say reprogram my mind. And believe that, you know, I am I’m good enough. Wherever I am along the path, you know, wherever I am and I’m learning, it’s my path. It’s not anybody else’s there is no, you know, prize at the end. You know, we get to the end of our lives and you know, nobody award you with anything. Hopefully you’ve you’ve built some great relationships and had a great time along the way and have been happy. So the the programming I got growing up did not lead to my happiness. It led to quite frankly utter amount of depression. And it took me a long time to get past that and a lot of it was just really believing that that I’m okay. No matter what I’m doing or not doing. It’s all okay. In the grand scheme of things. Life we’ll wait we’ll move on.
David Ralph [35:00]
I hear two things time and time again that people have to start thinking yeah, I’m worth that once, especially in sort of monetary sense when they start on the entrepreneurial journey, more often than not for maybe the first year or whatever, they set their, their levels so low because they don’t quite buy into the fact that they’ve got something that the world wants or other people want. And the opportunities that come their way later, they have to go through about mental reprogramming again, so that they are willing to accept them because the opportunities come their way and they say, Oh, no, I can’t do that. No, don’t why are they asking me there must be looking over the shoulder. So when you say you don’t want to say reprogrammed yourself I think you’re spot on. And I think you have reprogrammed yourself, haven’t you you you’ve severed those ties from your youth and you’ve really changed yourself and you made those faults that were negative into something Positive to push you forward.
Paige Burkes [36:02]
Exactly. Yeah, as soon as I dropped all of that it was some, it’s like a lightness started to come over me. And it certainly didn’t happen overnight. It was, it was a lot of practice and reading personal development, wanting to feel better. A lot of what I’ve written about my blog is that journey, and sharing what I’ve learned along the way, and wow, life really sucked in this way. But this is how I handled it. And this is how things came out better and, you know, try to offer some steps to help other people get through those kinds of challenges.
David Ralph [36:35]
And do you think there’s a gift in everything now when you look back on all your, your black dots, as we call it in Join Up Dots, once you get far enough away from them more often than not, they turned into white dots because they there was something there that kind of pushed you to where you are now. Do you look for
Paige Burkes [36:51]
the Exactly. Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t have that history to speak from and it It’s almost like you need that to appreciate I need that to appreciate how good life is now you know there’s the good and the bad it’s you help you appreciate the good more because of the bad.
David Ralph [37:12]
And then do you buy into those words that Jim Carrey said, you might as well take a chance on doing what you love it? Is it a simplistic way of thinking?
Paige Burkes [37:22]
No, I completely agree with that. You know, when I ended my sort of two year sabbatical and started thinking, Okay, I love this, this lifestyle, the ranch and the horses and all of that, but I’m tired of making minimum wage, doing it with other people’s places. I want my own. And then I came back and said, I have great capacity to make my own money with what I’ve learned in the corporate world and what I went to school for, I just don’t want to live in a city and be owned by my job anymore. So you know, we bought the place where we live. Now we’ve been here 16 years, we live on 20 acres out in the middle of nowhere. It’s an hour and a half drive to any town. But we absolutely love it out here and I work from home a fair amount and with my kids, we we homeschool our kids. So even though I’m I have the job that pays the bills, and I enjoy it, and I’m good at it. I’ve also made sure that the other aspects of my life sort of planning intentionally that I’ve set out the rest of my life and lifestyle in a way that makes me happy. I would never be happy living in suburbia, sending my kids to school. You know, that sort of living a city life. I’ve done that for many years. And I know that’s just not me anymore.
David Ralph [38:47]
And so how have you structured your business pain because I know you’ve got many strings to your bow. How do you juggle it all. Obviously, you’re not spending all your time dealing with animals. You’re not spending all your time working on As an accountant, so how do you sort of structure it?
Paige Burkes [39:05]
Like I said, I mean, I, every week is a little different. So I do have a full time job with a company as their chief financial officer. It’s a when I drive into the office, it’s three hours on the road, but I listen to lots of books and great podcasts like yours. So I’m always, always learning. I’m always learning and you know, some people can say, Wow, three hour commute that’s rough. Well, if you saw the views that I could see, you know, on my three hour commute through the winding mountains and snow capped peaks and everything and you know, I’ve always before I was complaining because I never have time to sit down and read a book and there’s a million books that I want to read, between work and just three little kids and everything there is to do on a ranch. There’s really no time to just sit and kick back and read. So now I have an opportunity to read all those books that I want to get to, you know, and it’s my little quiet time. away from the house and away from work. And
David Ralph [40:03]
so you see the next tip that is the next tip self development. The key to moving forward is knowing that you’ve got gaps in your knowledge. I was reading something the other day and this guy who was really broke, and he was getting nowhere on anything. And he met this multimillionaire who said something along the lines and I’m paraphrasing of the only reason you’re broke is they’re stuck, you don’t know something along those lines. And so he started reading and, and listening to stuff and then little by little a pitcher started to form and the more the pitcher started to fall, it was like he was been finding the pieces that he could fit into that. And as he did that, he’s his value grew. So his bank accounts started filling up because he could provide value but he wouldn’t have got to that point without exception. But education doesn’t stop at school is something that you keep on having to do. So you’re self containment in that that vehicle as you’re driving through those beautiful mountains is the perfect place in that.
Paige Burkes [41:12]
It is exactly I mean, there’s, there’s so much I don’t know. And you know, the even with the time I listen, there’s just not enough time to take in all the information that I want to take in. So whether it’s for me personally for things that would improve the company I work with, or other people that I consult with, you know, you read something like wait, this would be a great idea to share with so and so. And, you know, here’s the way to implement it, or do you have you looked at your business a little differently with these thoughts in mind. So for me, that’s exciting. That’s fun.
David Ralph [41:45]
I have three books on the go all the time. I have one by the side of my bed, while in my recording studio, and one kind of in the house. If I get bored with a television, I can just reach out and sort of grab it and I used to read novels all the time. But now I just read business books, really. And so biographies and the things that you can pick up and just read a couple of pages and then put them down. And there’s there’s nuggets of gold in most of them. And more often than not now I find when I was younger, I’d read a book, put it down, and that was it done. But now I get halfway through and he’s like, I want to study it. I think Brian is stuff here. And I’m kind of missing it. Somehow I can feel that I’ve got to go back and read it again. Did you do that same thing?
Paige Burkes [42:29]
I do. I’m always pulled because I listen to all my books through audible.com. And I put I have a wish list with probably 40 books on it now. And every time I listen to an interview with an author and be like, Oh, I got to get their books and you get one book and then you get hooked on all the other books they’ve written and then he learned about somebody else. So I’m caught between getting excited about the next book to listen to and wanting to go back and dig further. So sometimes, rather than digging further into another book, I’ll Pick the concept and find more books on that particular concept. Maybe somebody goes into it a little deeper, and has a different perspective on it.
David Ralph [43:09]
You don’t know what you don’t know until you find out. You don’t know it, isn’t it?
Paige Burkes [43:12]
There’s a whole lot You don’t know.
David Ralph [43:14]
There’s, I’ll tell you why I’ve created a whole career, not knowing stuff. And I think the beauty of it is, but it’s the stumbles I think, I think if you get off your backside and you start doing stuff, you stumble into areas that you wouldn’t have ever gone into. And they’re good areas. And it’s that awareness, that awareness of what is out there. There’s a possibility but you can’t fathom unless you get up and start doing stuff. Can you
Paige Burkes [43:41]
write and that’s, I think, my my two year sabbatical, you know, I didn’t know what I was gonna do next and I just waited for some an opportunity to present itself really. And each time I would say, Okay, I did outfit in school, tried to get a job as an outfitter and realise that’s really not the western horses. I’m looking for. For but what’s close? Well, a couple years before that when I was in Boston, I went to a dude ranch for a vacation. I really love that place. I’ll go drive out there and see if they’ll hire me. And they wouldn’t. But I found another ranch that would, you know, give it I know, experience really. So each each time, you know, I worked at the dude ranch for about a year and thought there are aspects of this that are good, but it’s not the whole package. This isn’t it. So I think about what you know what aspects of it did I like and while I was there, I also volunteered with some equine therapy programmes, which I absolutely loved and could just see huge benefits of the people who are participating there. So I thought, wow, I really like that aspect. You know, but then I used my business background it was each time I go from step to step, I would think about what is it that’s that I want more of or less of from this experience. And over time, all these little bits and pieces have jelled. I have this vision in mind. Head of it’s sort of an upscale Guest Ranch where they’re different types of therapies and helping sort of inner city kids who have, you know, depression, anger, a lot of issues, getting them out into these programmes, just there’s so many people who could benefit from being in that outdoor environment. And doing, I’ve got this whole master plan in my head. But someday it’ll happen. And maybe it’ll have been where we are now or a different place. But it’s because of years of experiences and just little the sprinkling of each one of those into a big picture that still morphs a little bit every time. I have new experiences. I thought, Oh, I could add a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Let me further refine how this aspect of it would work. So every experience is something to learn from and something to take into, you know, the future part of your life.
David Ralph [45:58]
But what you did as Well this I suppose this is the last of the blueprint, the page Burke’s blueprint and you might millions on this show earlier people will be flocking. But the last thing you did was you drilled down you found that kind of vague area of what you wanted to do. But you kept on going deeper and deeper and deeper until you niche down niche down niche down to the thing that was the closest thing to perfect for you. And most people will kind of accept somewhere along the line. This is what this is why I can deal with crappy inboxes and filing cabinets and all that kind of stuff because the rest is okay. But you wasn’t accepting about you. You’ve done your journey and now you were willing to go deeper and deeper and deeper and find yourself fascinating stuff.
Unknown Speaker [46:46]
And I still do
David Ralph [46:48]
you still haven’t got to the bottom then
Unknown Speaker [46:50]
I’ll be dead when I get to the bottom.
David Ralph [46:53]
I’ll meet you there, Alabama. And we’ll interview you on your deathbed and say well, what did you do wrong? Well, how do you think that you can’t get to that point, but
Paige Burkes [47:03]
Well, we’re never done. We’re never finished perfect at an end. You know, it’s, I think it’s certainly a choice to be happy along the way. It’s not like when I achieve X, Y and Z, then I’ll be happy. I’m just having now having these experiences and living my life and being with my family. So, I quite often say to myself, if today were the last day, what would I feel like? And I feel okay, I you know, I don’t I’ve never been a big fan of bucket lists are, you know, my life won’t be complete until
if they’re things that you don’t feel complete until you do go do them now.
Which is what I’ve always I’ve been doing, if there’s something missing in my life or something that I want to go after, Why not now?
David Ralph [47:56]
Well, I imagine now if you did have a bucket list, it would have been jurnee on the Sermon on the mic, which is the end of our show, and we’ve been building up to this, so this is probably as good as it’s gonna get for your page. This is where happiness collides all over you. But we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Paige, what advice would you give and why would you choose? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m gonna play the theme tune. And as it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [48:32]
We go with the first beat of the show.
Paige Burkes [48:51]
Speaking with my probably 10 year old self, I would tell myself that page, you’re just perfect the way you are, you’re awesome. You are enough always will be more than enough. You are beautiful. Everything you do. has value is good is worth something. There’s there’s not more to achieve.
Being happy isn’t from things outside of you. There’s nothing out there to complete you. You’re perfect and complete just the way you are.
Unknown Speaker [49:31]
Life.
Paige Burkes [49:34]
Life can be a challenge and you’ll always be up to it life is never gonna deal you more than you can handle.
And you’re perfect. And I love you just the way you are.
David Ralph [49:47]
Paige what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Paige Burkes [49:53]
on my site, simple mindfulness comm or Twitter I’m at at page Burks, and I’m also a page Burke’s on Facebook
David Ralph [50:03]
will have over links on the show notes page. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures page. Burks. Thank you so much.
Paige Burkes [50:20]
Thank you, David. It’s been a pleasure.
David Ralph [50:24]
So honestly, that was the steps that was the steps that you need to take for your life. You need to listen to yourself, first of all, then take action. Leave your ego behind. start drilling down, drilling down, drilling down finding what you want, but educate yourself constantly so that you can expand your knowledge and find more value and more work. And once you go ahead of people, that’s when people want to start paying you and that’s how it’s done. So pages episode is one of those ones that I’d love to come back to time and time again because it’s all there. It’s all Bad Boy. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you very much for listening. As always. We’re going to be back in a couple of days with another great episode. Obviously, we’re leading up to Christmas now. So we’re gonna have some special episodes over the festive period. But bottom line, we’ll see you again soon. Thanks very much.
Outro [51:15]
Cheers. Bye bye. David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you were wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.
