Jennifer Williams-Fields Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Jennifer Williams-Fields
Jennifer Williams-Fields is our guest today on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
She is a lady who has a brilliantly chaotic story, which in many ways mirror so many of our lives.
Things being thrown at us left right and centre, with many of these things not being the kind of things that anyone would have chosen.
As she says “When Katrina hit, I was a mom of 6 kids under 10, in a dysfunctional, chaotic marriage — my husband is an alcoholic and wasn’t admitting that or dealing with it.
Because I had lived down in that area for a long while and had been evacuated before (when it wasn’t necessary) I opted to ride out the storm, until I was forced at the last minute, to leave.
My husband was out of town at the time, so I and the kids literally left the house with only the clothes on our backs and a sack of dirty laundry I grabbed at the last minute. No papers, birth certificates, SSN, toys, school books, NOTHING.
How The Dots Joined Up For Jennifer
From that disaster, I slowly began to rebuild my life, discovering peace through yoga.
As I began to rebuild my self esteem I ended up getting certified, and am now a yogi. I dissolved my marriage when my husband refused to get help for his alcoholism, and I and the children are now living in a small West Tennessee town, happy and peaceful.”
Which is a life that could have derailed her, and had her playing the victim card.
Blaming her husband, her situation, or her kids for the life that she was living.
But she didn’t, and instead of playing the victim, she set out on a path where she made choice after choice, decision after decision to change her future.
She did the tough stuff, the rough stuff, and the things that probably she wouldn’t have believed that she could have done.
She is now passionate about writing, yoga, travelling, public speaking and being a fabulous single mum to six super kids.
She is appearing on TV, on podcasts, and radio and is showing the world how to be fabulous.
Her life is a sort of organized chaos, and she loves every minute of the craziness and is grateful for all she’s learned along the way.
So when did she make the decision to start making decisions and taking responsibility for her future and happiness?
And is it something that she only managed, because she was used to dealing with hardship and obstacles?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Jennifer Williams-Fields.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Jennifer Williams Fields such as:
Why she needed a natural disaster to finally start making movements towards the life that she wanted as an author.
How she feels that there is always time in someone’s life to start working towards something. Late at night, early mornings it doesn’t matter. We have the time.
How the bad things in life are the true learnings, and how we should always look to find the gifts within those times instead of running from them.
How even though her life is chaotic she knows in her heart of hearts that she will miss it when the kids leave home and she is an empty nester.
Jennifer Williams-Fields Books
How To Connect With Jennifer Williams-Fields
If you were inspired by Jennifer Williams-Fields conversation on the show why not check out other inspiring talk such as Alyson Lex, Christine Hassler, Wesley Chapman and the amazing Instagram Growth Service
You can also of course dive head first into thousands of podcast episodes at the JUD’s archives
Full Transcription Of Jennifer Williams-Field Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Yes. Hello, there is David Ralph. It is David Ralph bringing you Episode 499 of Join Up Dots. 499 It’s so close to the big one. But yeah, we’ve been going well, we’ve actually done more episodes on that because we’ve done a load a bonus episode. But um, yeah, literally, you know, three days a week, seven days a week as it was in the first year and it just feels right now. It feels so right in so many different levels. And why it feels so right is I get guests like today’s guest who I say How did I connect with you and neither of us have any idea how it’s happened which is just Kind of brilliant and freaky at the same time. And she is a lady who has a brilliantly chaotic story, which in many ways mirrors so many of our lives, things being thrown as left right and centre with many of these things not being the kind of things that anyone would have chosen. As she says, When Katrina hit, I was a mom of six kids under 10 can imagine that in a dysfunctional chaotic marriage. My husband is an alcoholic and wasn’t admitting that or dealing with it because I had lived down in the area for a long while and had been evacuated before when it wasn’t necessary. I opted to ride out the storm until I was forced at the last minute to leave. Now my husband was out of town at the time, so I and the kids literally left the house with only the clothes on our backs and a sack of dirty laundry. I grabbed that the last minute, no papers, birth certificates, sn toys, school books, nothing. Now from that disaster, I slowly began to rebuild my life discovering peace through yoga. As I began to rebuild my self esteem. I ended up getting certified and I’m now a yoga Dissolve my marriage when my husband refused to get help for his alcoholism, and I and the children and now living in a small West Tennessee town, happy and peaceful. Now, that is a life I could have derailed her and had her playing the victim card blaming her husband, her situation, or her kids for the life that she was living, but she didn’t. And instead of playing the victim, she set out a path where she made choice after choice decision after decision to change her future. She did the tough stuff, the rough stuff, and the things that probably she wouldn’t have believed that she could have done. Now she’s passionate about writing, yoga, travelling public speaking and being a fabulous single mom to six super kids. And she’s now appearing on TV, on podcasts on radio, and he’s showing the world how to be fabulous. A Life is a sort of organised chaos and she loves every minute of the craziness and is grateful for all she’s learned along the way. So when did she make the decision to start making decisions and taking responsibility for her future and happiness? Is it something that she only managed because she was used to dealing with hardship and obstacles? Or was it something else? Well, let’s find out as we bring them to the show to start joining up starts with the one and only Jennifer Williams fields. How are you, Jennifer?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [3:13]
Good, very good. How are you, David?
David Ralph [3:15]
Oh, it’s got to be bigger than that. That was the upping. That was the most epic introduction I’ve ever done in my life. And it just sounds like you’ve, you’ve asked me for a bus ticket or something.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [3:24]
Because I’m absolutely dumbfounded by that amazing introduction. I’m sitting here listening to it thinking, wow, I want to meet that woman.
David Ralph [3:30]
I know, I want to meet her as well. That doesn’t sound right. Because a lot of people, the last guest I had I was giving him the big build up. And I only take the information it’s either given to me or I find online or whatever. So it’s, it’s the history. It’s out there. But he sort of said to me, whoa, I didn’t think I could justify that even though it was my life and it’s what I’ve done. Do you sort of feel the same way? When you look at that? Does it sound like somebody else?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [3:55]
It really does. And a lot of people say that to me often. I don’t know how you do it. How do you do it? You’re So Amazing. And I think, no, I’m just me. I’m just living my life. It’s not that big a deal. You do what you have to do. But when you hear somebody else say it like that, like, hey, well pat myself on the back here.
David Ralph [4:12]
Well, you should be putting up. I don’t mean to be rude. But I think you’ve spent a lot of time on your back. We’ve got six kids under 10. That’s, that’s, that’s astonishing.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [4:21]
Hey, yes, six kids under 10. They’re all now tend to age 21. So they’re a little bit older now. I can’t imagine
David Ralph [4:27]
it because I’ve got five kids, couple of stepchildren and ones I’ve produced myself. And people say, Well, you got five kids in your family and it’s kind of how life is but not undertake. You must have been literally pregnant for 10 years.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [4:44]
Just about Yes. Just about but so you have five kids, you understand the chaos. My house is very loud, and very noisy and kind of messy, but we love it. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
David Ralph [4:55]
Well, we’ve got better than that, because three of ours have moved out now. So we’ve only got two and One of them is obsessed with Xbox. So he lives in his boy cave. And my daughter sort of bounced around the house doing whatever she does. So it’s kind of it’s quietly comfortable now I suppose compared to what it used to be.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [5:16]
Okay, well someday I suppose they’ll have quietly comfortable
David Ralph [5:20]
and with a lifelike your own because obviously we are going to sort of Delve back into the chaos. Do you think you’re misfit when the chaos leaves you and it becomes calm? Or will you just go thank God for that? I’ve done my time. It’s now me the remote control and Netflix and a nice box of chocolates every afternoon.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [5:38]
Oh, no, I’m absolutely going to miss it. I’m not. I’m not going to know how to cook for just one person. And you know, even now with with one of my children about to leave for the Navy, he leaves in two months for boot camp. I don’t know what I’m going to do with just five kids. I’m going to be bored.
David Ralph [5:55]
So how have you created a life back is the balance you know? He’s kind of amazing the fact that you’re appearing on TV. Now Actually, I’m gonna go back even further. The amazing thing is that you took the choices, you know, you made the decisions to start moving on to lead to this part. So how did you make that decision? I think that’s the better question to ask when everything was good going around you, but most people would just sort of put up with it. What made you make that big decision to start changing?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [6:26]
Well, no, honestly, I did put up with it for a long time. Because when you’re dealing with chaos and drama and addiction and a bad marriage, and you throw in some depression into there, you don’t have the energy or the knowledge to know how to change it. You just feel beaten down by life. And for a long time, that’s how I lived and it was a miserable existence. And then honestly, one day I was in the grocery store, and I had this random thought that hey, wait a minute. I’m not the crazy one here. I’m the one who sees the reality of this situation and I don’t like this I want to change. Now, it didn’t happen overnight. It was a very slow process took years and it took, figuring out who I was again and rebuilding my own life. But eventually baby steps little baby steps that at the time you don’t even realise are getting you to the final destination. So it was a long process but it was a very intentional process.
David Ralph [7:26]
The baby steps are so powerful and I we talked about this time and time again. Literally every single person has achieved success but never overnight. Only by trying stop some quick steps slow steps failures stumbles by ease those tiny you can’t get away from it. The tiny steps build up to something amazing
Jennifer Williams-Fields [7:46]
right? Absolutely don’t the time you for me anyway, I didn’t see those baby steps happening. I just felt stuck and I felt stagnant. But now looking back, I can see the little things I did you know getting myself some more education. Getting back to writing, getting back to exercise taking care of myself. Those were all little things that prepared me when the big blows hit that I was able to stay standing and keep moving forward.
David Ralph [8:13]
So what would be the first of the big blows that started to sort of really rock you on your heels?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [8:19]
Well, the peak flow was Hurricane Katrina. I was living in New Orleans just over 10 years ago. And they said that there’s a hurricane coming. And I said, yeah, whatever you’ve said that before. And so at the last minute, they said, You can’t stay here anymore. So I packed up the six kids who at that time, were 10, and two months down to two months old. And we got in the car and we headed north. And I was sitting in the car in traffic because it’s a normally seven hour drive. And it took us 15 hours just to get out of the city. And I was looking at the six kids in the backseat of the car thinking What do I do? Where do I go, you know, actually can’t stay here anymore. Literally, I can’t stay in New Orleans. But literally, I can’t stay living the same life anymore. What do I do? And in that moment, and it sounds so dramatic because there’s a hurricane pounding upon the city and but it truly was just the storm that helped me rebuild my life.
David Ralph [9:19]
So moving blowing away the cobwebs that literally blow away your past in somehow.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [9:26]
Oh, it literally blew by my past. You know, I don’t have photo albums from before there. I don’t have so much we lost almost everything. So I literally had to rebuild our lives
Unknown Speaker [9:37]
is you know,
David Ralph [9:38]
we don’t have a lot of natural disasters in the United Kingdom. We have a lot of flooding when too much rain in the rivers sort of burst. But I remember we had a hurricane back in 87. And that’s like the last one and that was the first one for like 100 years or something. So we we don’t really get anything at all. And I know in the United Kingdom we look at, say tornadoes rally for Oklahoma and Kansas stuff and we think why why lift bear? You know, you’re gonna get blown away at some stage whoever did that ever cross your mind? Does it cross anyone’s mind across America but they’re living in places that literally that home can be taken up and put somewhere else?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [10:19]
Well, sure it does. Now I’m living in Memphis, Tennessee, which is part of Tornado Alley. And you know, when we get our bad storms in the summertime, we just turn our weather radios on and we look at the skies, but you got to keep living your life. You can’t live in fear, right? Because when you live in fear, that’s when you get stuck. Life goes on
David Ralph [10:37]
robot that is a good metaphor for everyone, isn’t it? But we see that time and time again. But people do live in fear. They live in the fear of not being able to pay their bills or losing that job that I think is a crappy job anyway, and they spend all their time moaning about it. It is fear that kind of roots, so many people so because you’re sort of embracing that, and I say loosely that fear Because you just walk down the street, you live your life and stuff and then listen to the radio if it gets a bit dodgy, does that help you sort of deal with the smaller stuff? Or is it still the same? Do people get routed by the same small stuff that everybody does?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [11:13]
Oh, no, everybody gets rid of down I believe, by the by fear. You know, I stayed in a bad marriage way too long out of fear. I stayed at a job I shouldn’t have stayed in out of fear. You know, I took so long publishing my book out of fear. And you know, the fear of the unknown can be paralysing, but when you take that leap into the unknown, sometimes it’s pretty cool where you end up, but you just have to have faith that it’s going to be okay. It may not be what you expect, but it’ll be different. And that’s got to be better than where you were before.
David Ralph [11:48]
Buying bingo that is that’s the whole thing isn’t it is I was speaking to a guy the other day and he’s one of my friends. There’s a virtual friends. I haven’t ever met him, but he was going through a Dachi thing in his in his job, and he had to, he was the manager there. And they were saying you’ve got to get rid of X amount of staff. And so he didn’t want to do it because it was leading up to Christmas. He was terrible. You know, nobody wants to do it. And so he had to lay these people off and say to him, so you haven’t got a job anymore. And once he done bat by Ben said, right, thank you for doing that. You’re out as well. And so he got canned, and sort of like walked out that evening, not knowing what he was going to do. And he’d been with this company for years and years and years. And literally, about two weeks later, he got a job where he in the interview, he said, you’re not you’re not winding me up. This is absolutely genuine. This sounds too good to be true. But he was clinging on to that crappy job because he was flight frightened of nothing else. But there is always something else isn’t agenda there’s always something else may not be the right thing, first of all, but by starting to make that movement, you will find some else that can lead to something better?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [13:03]
Exactly. When you stay stagnant when you stay stuck, you’re not going to move anywhere. That’s just all there is to it. You know, a body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest. And it’s so funny you said that because the exact same thing happened to me about a year ago, I was a manager someplace, I had to get rid of a lot of staff. And a week later, I was the one that was let go. And I cried the entire way home. And after I got home, I thought, Hey, wait a minute, I feel better. I didn’t like that job anyway, anymore. Yeah. You know, and it forced me to then take my writing to the next level. So it forced me to Okay, what am I going to do next? Now, I’m still without a regular full time job. But I have not been without a day of work since I have continually worked. I didn’t know that at the time and looking back, I could see where all these opportunities were just out there waiting for me to take them. And losing that job was what it took to take this opportunity. ROI. Okay, so
David Ralph [14:01]
for the listeners out there, paying attention to this, and they’re in their cubicles, and they’re doing work that they don’t like, but hey, it’s what I’ve done. Would you say to them, yeah, don’t leap. But start looking around, start looking around with new eyes, train yourself to see things differently because there are opportunities everywhere.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [14:22]
Exactly. And you know, one of my complaints against self help books or podcasts or public speakers is, sometimes they’re not very really realistic, what they’re telling you to do, you know, to just up and quit your job isn’t realistic for most people. Like you said, I’m a single mom of six kids. I don’t have that luxury of just saying, Oh, I don’t like this anymore. I’m out of here. Right? But what can I do? I’m paying I’m working my job to pay the mortgage. But how am I using my off time? You know, what am I doing in my downtime that’s going to get me where I want to be. You know, I’ve worked worked a real job for years and years and years. But I’ve still written in my off time I’ve published in my off time, my writing doesn’t pay my mortgage, my job pays my mortgage, my writing pays my passion. So once you look at
David Ralph [15:15]
what’s the What do you write about, then where do you get your inspirations? What What is your book all about?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [15:21]
My book is called creating a joyful life, the lessons I learned from yoga and my mom, and I get my inspiration from my chaotic life. You know, everybody said to me, how do you do it? How do you do it? And I finally said, that’s it. I’m gonna tell you how I did it. I’m gonna write a book. And these are the baby steps I took to get me where I am now. Because really, I’m no different than any other mom out there. Right? We all have the same struggles. We all have the same problems. We all have the same dreams. But how do you get where you want to be? How do you take care of yourself? How do you stay true to yourself and still take care of your family. You got to have that balance.
David Ralph [16:00]
Yeah, I hear opportunities all the time. And I see opportunities, but I, I hear them because I’m in the podcasting environment. And when somebody’s speaking like you were just saying, I was thinking, Michael, that’s a podcast, that story. VO that information that you can share how to balance life with business business with live six kids under 10. You’ve literally got something but people will tune into their numbers, won’t they? every single day. I I see opportunities in that regard. How do you see yours?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [16:33]
I get my opportunities just from daily life. You know, my writing is all about parenting. It’s about families, it’s about relationships. It’s all about you know, unfortunately, we have some addiction running through our family and and when I write, I never write the other person’s story. I never write my ex husband story because that’s his to tell I don’t have that right to tell his story. But I can tell you how I dealt with things and how It affected me and how I moved on and created my own life. When I write about my children, I very rarely use their names. We label them kid 123456 because that they have a right to their privacy, they can tell their own story. You know, but hey, guess what kid two did today? You know, and we’ll talk about how that how our family got through that. So my writing is all about reality. This is my real life. You know, I’m on a podcast with you. Isn’t that cool? But real life is I’m sitting here looking at dirty laundry right now. You know, and we got to stay real. Because if if I’m looking at a public speaker or reading their book, and it just doesn’t resonate with me, I’m not going to listen to what they have to say. I think it’s important that people know I’m a real mom, a real person. I have struggles too. But that doesn’t mean I can’t succeed, and you can succeed too.
David Ralph [17:53]
Well, that’s absolutely true. But it still is remarkable that you know, a story As bad as Katrina was the thing that broke the camel’s back, that was the thing that literally took you on that that’s that is your tagline, isn’t it that you literally got blown away from your past life to your new life? Did you really need that? Or was it just leading up to that? I know, that’s the point where you change direction, but could you have done it earlier? Could you have done it six months afterwards? Did you need that to occur?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [18:25]
Now, I think I needed that to occur. I think I needed that impetus to happen because I had been so rooted in fear. And I had said to, to my mom and two friends, I don’t know what to do. I don’t I don’t know how to leave. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to change. And when people would try and help me, I wouldn’t listen, because I didn’t think it was possible. I needed that major event to happen to say, wake up, time to change. Okay, you won’t take the action to change. I’m going to take it away from you. And that’s what happened. You know, your friend who lost his job, I lost My job I lost my house in a hurricane. We know we need to change, but we don’t take the action to happen. And eventually the universe said, Okay, well, I’m gonna do it for you then, boom, here’s a hurricane. But he’s, we
David Ralph [19:14]
say it’s fear. But it’s it’s got to be something more than fear that the whole planet rarely takes the action. But therefore, you know, that’s why you see so many people doing amazing stuff. And we all look at them go, Oh, that’s wonderful. But it’s only wonderful because we are all kind of just holding ourselves back somehow. It was, I think it’s more than fear somehow.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [19:36]
Well, we are holding ourselves back because what if it doesn’t work? What if I wrote this book and everyone said it was the worst book ever? What if I quit my job and I end up on unemployment for for two years, you know, it’s fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of being ridiculed. Right. Worried being worried about what other people are going to think. You know, had your friend quit his job earlier. People might have looked at him and went, why does he crazy leaving a good job when he’s got a family to support? You know, we’re fear of not doing what we think we’re supposed to do when really we’re supposed to do what our what our innate sense is telling us to do, you know, move on, make a different life.
David Ralph [20:16]
But I can, I can see the problems with supporting a family. I made a big leap, but I transition carefully. I never ever tell anybody to quit their job and walk out. That is not what this show is about. I’m a great believer in transitioning the slider faith work, I’m trying to find some other income, do evening jobs, whatever you have to do to sort of like, find that shortfall in money that you might have. If you do actually leave. That’s how we do it. So but I can understand people clinging to crappy jobs because there is a need to support people. But I do not see people not willing to put words to pages just in case people laugh or putting their mouth to a microphone and Stop talking. You know, you put me in a cage with a tiger. I’ve got the right to be scared because it could ultimately eat me. But looking stupid, you get over it. You’ve spent your whole life falling over things and looking stupid and you’re still walking around. It’s still living life is not a game changer is it?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [21:19]
Well, you and I have gotten over looking stupid, right? I’m
David Ralph [21:22]
still doing it.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [21:24]
Well, me too. But there are a lot of people out there. And I’ve had people say to me, Oh, I’d love to write I would love to start a blog, but I don’t know what will people think people might think it’s stupid. Well, so what maybe they will, you know, I have written pieces that have been published. I’ve gotten horrible comments on that initially, you know, I cried myself to sleep over. But then I woke up the next morning and I thought, Wait a minute. What have you done? What right do you have to criticise me, Look what I’ve created. You know, you’re just an anonymous troll on the internet. You know, I put my name to something. So getting over That fear of looking stupid is a big deal.
David Ralph [22:06]
I got an email the other day, and it was really vicious, absolutely ripped me to shreds. And I put it on my community and I said, Yeah, what do you think guys? And they went, Oh, you’re gonna respond, might respond or respond and or whatever. But I couldn’t get away from the fact that I was being noticed. You know, it doesn’t matter if it was good comments or bad comments. Ideally, it would be lovely that people are always gonna say nice stuff, but that’s not gonna happen. And unfortunately, we’ve lived the higher you get and the more successful you get more the more people are willing to take a poke at you because they’re not doing the same things themselves or by look at you and they don’t quite buy into your backstory, this email basically, and I might do a show about this a little bit later, literally was ripping me apart for saying but you can go for your dreams and you can work on something because this person was saying, I’m in a full time job. I haven’t got the time. So don’t you tell me your your stories about you know, perseverance and talent and inspiration. It’s not as easy as all that. But I kind of thought it was as easy as all about you do it before you go to work, you do it in your lunch hours, you do it in the evening, you’re willing to put it three years into it get a little bit of momentum. I totally think it’s doable. But this guy, he literally ripped me to shreds It was very interesting to get that.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [23:27]
Right. So that person who wrote you that email is probably someone who’s so based in fear and unhappiness in their own life, that they don’t believe happiness and joy are possible for them. So they want to tear it down in somebody else. You know, well, no, you’re telling a lie, because I can’t have happiness and joy. So therefore, I don’t believe that you do either. And that’s probably where that guy is at. You know, and I’ve had to learn myself that there are a lot of people in the world that want to tear you down. Don’t be one of them yourself.
David Ralph [24:00]
Well, that’s it, isn’t it? The problem is more often than not as yourself. And you’re the one in the wee small hours during the night are going to stupid. You’re just Jennifer, you’re Davidic you know who’s gonna listen to you? You’ve got no no history, you’ve got no talent. But nobody’s got history or talent to begin with, you might have a little bit of talent, but you think that you might be able to do something, but you certainly got no history or success track record. There’s not one person out there that starts with a track record of success is there?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [24:34]
No, not at all. You know, we tell people all the time, fake it till you make it right. Yeah. And I know there have been many times in my life, I thought, well, what if I am just faking it? What if people find out I’m not the real deal? Well, you have to change your mindset because the truth of the matter is, while I was faking it till I make it, I was still doing the work. So I am actually doing it. You know, I may have started out thinking, Oh, I want to be a writer. I hope I’m a writer. Well, people think I’m a writer. Hey, guess what, I’m a writer. I am writing. That’s all it takes. You got to do the work. So that guy who wrote the email is probably spending his nights thinking, Oh, I can’t do that. No one’s gonna listen to me. I’m not that strong. I’m not that whatever, you know, you got to change your own mindset.
David Ralph [25:22]
So when somebody comes up to you in the supermarket and says to you, you know, if you do get these kind of compensation, what do you do for a living? What do you say to them?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [25:31]
I say I’m a writer, and I also work part time at a fitness centre.
David Ralph [25:36]
So, the writer comes first.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [25:38]
It says it comes first because I will always write whether I work at a fitness centre or who knows maybe I’ll get another job next week somewhere else to pay my mortgage. I will always be a writer first.
David Ralph [25:50]
And so is this something that you’ve always had in your heart when you were a little little kid loving it when you got to do the English essays and the English stories and that kind of stuff
Jennifer Williams-Fields [25:59]
is I’m the geeky nerdy girl in class who love to do the essays and love to do the writing and took more English and literature classes than I had to. And I can remember being very little, pretending to write books with crayons and paper and things like that. So this has been something that’s always been in me. I lost it for a while, and I had to refined it again. But I’ll never let it go.
David Ralph [26:24]
Did you think it is a truth? I do, because I’ve built a whole show around it. But I’d be interested in your point of view, that life give you the enthusiasm to do something a lot when you’re very small. And that’s the thing that we should try to reclaim the stuff that we would have done for nothing, because we just love to doing it.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [26:44]
Oh, yeah. Because when you’re when you’re younger, you’re not so worried about looking stupid, right? You just go ahead and do it. You know, my, you know, one of my daughters now wants to be a ballerina. Well, I don’t really have the heart to tell her that that a very small percentage of people actually end up making a purchase. Question that way. But hey, she loves it, keep doing it. Maybe someday she’ll own a dance school or she’ll teach dancing, but keep that passion. And I think when we look back at our younger selves, the passion is there, we just lost it somewhere along the way.
David Ralph [27:14]
And that was key what you said she may not end up a bad ballet dancer, but she may end up in that area. And I think that is what you should aim for. You know, there’s not many of us gonna be, you know, David Letterman mark to, but you can create something you can be in that environment, that inspiration, that creative feeling that you enjoy so much you can replicate now, and especially on the internet, it’s amazing. The fact that you can sit there in your home, write a book, and basically self publish it and get it on Amazon and you can do everything yourself. I don’t know what 510 years ago could you have done that? I don’t think he could, and you certainly couldn’t have done what I’m doing now. And it just gets better and better and better. So there’s no reasons why somebody can put the effort in, as things are getting cheaper and more available for them.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [28:05]
Right, you just have to take that leap of faith and you have to put the work in. I know that you might be working a full time job during the day that you don’t like. But when you get home from work, or you know, I used to sit at my kids sports practices and right while they were practising rugby or baseball, I would be sitting in writing, because that was my time. There, you know, my emails to you came in at probably three o’clock in the morning, my time, that’s when I had the chance to do it. You have to make the opportunities to happen.
David Ralph [28:33]
Well, let’s play some words now. And then we’re going to go seamlessly into the second stage of our compensation and these are from Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [28:41]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [29:08]
Now, I love that statement. And I play every day on the show. And I was going to drop it one day until people were saying to me never drop that, keep it going. Because it does tap into something that we’ve all experienced, isn’t it? But our parents say, that’s the safe route. That’s what we would do get an education, get a job for life, but we go by what other people are saying, but not what our hearts saying. And Jim taps into something that we all deal with.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [29:35]
Oh, absolutely. And I love that too. And you kind of said it earlier yourself. You’re not David Letterman, but you are David Ralph, and you’re successful. You know, I’m not Elizabeth Gilbert, but I’m Jennifer Williams fields and I’m successful at what I do. So let’s stop comparing ourselves to somebody else and just allow ourselves to be successful and be happy where we are.
David Ralph [29:57]
And is it there’s a lot of success to be had Isn’t there, you know, in the environment that we are in, we talk about the $500 product. Now, you could break that down into $250 product, which isn’t the most expensive thing in the world. But literally, you sell it 200 times and you’ve made six figures. And a lot of times I talk to people and I go, oh, what are you gonna do? And they go, Oh, I had this great idea for something, but somebody else has done it. Okay, well do it again. There’s other people out there. You know, there’s so many people out there. You don’t have to worry about competition. It’s total abundance. But you’ve got to start, you’ve got to start doing that. And you might as well start doing something that you love. But you can work towards something because doing something that you hate just because there’s money involved. That’s a soul destroy, and no matter how much I was working in the City of London once and I was being paid stupid money, really unbelievable money. I’ve never been so unhappy in my life. I literally hated every single second of it. And no matter how much you pay me now, I would never go back to it. environment that I didn’t think was conducive to my happiness, even if it was beyond stupid money. What about yourself, Jennifer?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [31:07]
Oh, right, absolutely. And you know, you might have invented something that somebody else has already done, or I’ve written something that’s already been written, but no one’s written it the way I have written it. No one’s created the product the way you’ve created it. You know, you have a very unique podcast, there are thousands of podcasts out there, but you’ve made it your own. And that’s the key. And we have to give ourselves credit for that. You know, we have to say, hey, guess what, I did something pretty cool. I succeeded in what I set out to do. I am I’ve heard you mentioned many times you like the movie Rocky? Hmm, yeah. Right. Well, I’m originally from Philadelphia. So I have run up those rocky steps many times myself. And I tell people you got to allow yourself those rocky moments. You know, every baby step you take towards creating something. Put your arms over your head. Yeah, I did it. Look at me. Go me go. Rocky. You know, you got to give yourself some credit for what you’re doing and stop looking at what others are doing. Focus on yourself and focus on where you want to go.
David Ralph [32:08]
I went to see creed me other day and I went now on my own and there was a bit in it went rocky was looking in the mirror. And the guy he was training Apollo Creed, some was sort of looking in the mirror as well. And he said, Don’t worry about your opponent. While you’re pat yourself, you are gonna hurt yourself more than an opponent. And the thing I like about rocket and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve got older because I don’t remember it as much when I was a kid but now I watch it and it kind of is sound bites, there’s snippets of text that float out of me. Ah, that’s so good. That is so good. And it is all about going for it one more time. I know that we’ve rocky But until that last breath is taken from me. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be spending as much time as possible. Doing something. I love trying to get it to the last product I can possibly do. It would seem silly to me while I’m on this planet to not try my best until I go right. That’s your time it’s gone. And I just have to walk away from it. But I see. And the things that annoyed me most Jennifer and we touched on it at the beginning, are the people that when you get a couple of drinks down, and they had such passion, and they had such crazy ideas, and you can see him, I want to travel the world and I want to, you know, work in a monastery and really experience stuff, but I still go from here to the railway station, back forth, back forth back forth and make up excuses why they can’t do it. It really upsets me more people should listen to this. This is what we’re going over.
Now, if you had that on your alarm clock every morning, wouldn’t that get you going?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [33:55]
Oh, it absolutely would. And you know, I think what people forget is that Rocky didn’t run up those steps the first time. He took he tried again and again. And again. He didn’t run up those steps the first time he ran out there. That’s why he had his arms over the head because he finally did it. He succeeded. He, he kept going, and he kept going. And you know, like you said, People say when they want to travel the world, and the next morning, they get up and go to work. Well, let’s, let’s bring it down a little bit. Here. The focus is travelling the world the focus is getting to the top of those steps. But it’s one step at a time, you’re not going to travel the world overnight. But hey, maybe next month, you’ll go visit somewhere different. And then the next year, you’ll go visit somewhere different. Break it down, stop making everything look so big and impossible. You know, I love to travel too. But you know, my travel time is very limited. So you know, maybe next month, I’m going to go visit a different state, or I’m going to take an opportunity here and get to go visit a different city. And eventually over time, I’m going to get to see more and more of the world, eventually over time, right? He got to the top of those steps.
David Ralph [35:02]
He’s crazy though, because you know, I love to travel. And I get invites all the time on his show, oh, why don’t you come over and you can stay with me. And so a lot of them unless they’re serial killers, and they’re trying to learn me somewhere I don’t know about generally, I think to myself, this would be very nice. I can go off and see a new town, meet some nice people who listen to the show and you know, have a great time. But more often than not, I got Oh, it’s not, it’s not okay. At the moment. I’ve got something in the way. I haven’t really, I just kind of, it’s easier to say no, even though I’m doing this show. I take so much action every single day. But it’s kind of action in my environment. As soon as I get asked to do something that I think is pulling me away from it. I kind of go, Oh, no, no, maybe next month, maybe next month easier. But literally, I’ll be honest with you. I think I could do it most of the time.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [35:52]
Right? Because we’re comfortable in what we know. Right? That’s why we don’t leave bad jobs because we’re comfortable. It’s what we know. It’s breaking out of that. Comfort Zone. And again, fear of the unknown. But when you break out of that comfort zone, wow, some amazing things can actually happen. You might meet, meet some really interesting people in your travels might be lead to more opportunities, but you’re more comfortable where you are. So it’s getting out of your comfort zone is what it takes.
David Ralph [36:19]
So if we sort of Delve back, I don’t want to delve into too much because obviously, your marriage didn’t sound the greatest from from my side of the fence. But was it something that taught you a lot about yourself? Or did it strip A lot of you away? When you was in it? Was it ultimately looking back on it? Although it might have been harrowing at the time? Was it a good thing that you experienced it?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [36:44]
Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but Yes, it was. And I would not go back and change anything at all. Even the bad stuff because it brought me to where I am. It led me to not just Memphis, Tennessee, but it led me to be a stronger person. It’s helped me. Even the bad stuff taught me many things about myself, you know, what am I willing to put up with? And why? Oh, I’m not willing to do this anymore. How am I going to change it? It made me a different person. It made me the person I am. And I don’t think I would be where I am today in my writing in my public speaking if I hadn’t had to go through all that. Because now I have the authenticity behind me. When I tell another woman, you can do this, you can get out of this marriage if you need to. You can make a new life, you can make a career change. I’m more believable because I lived it. I did it myself. You know, it’s easy to say, Oh, you should do this, this and this if you’ve never experienced it yourself. But when you’ve been through the trenches yourself, and you turn around to somebody else, they’re gonna believe you and they’re more likely to take action that way. So no, I wouldn’t change anything for the world.
David Ralph [37:53]
Because I’ve never had a bad thing happened to me in my life. I’ll be absolutely honest. I’ve went through Through education, that was a breeze. I went straight into a job that was a breeze. I had nice holidays, I met my wife, we’ve had children, everything has been just a dream. Absolutely. Until I decided to quit my job because I just couldn’t do it anymore and do this. And then everything for a period of time was a nightmare. Because I didn’t have the ability to struggle. I hadn’t experienced any struggle. And I always think what you were saying is spot on. I think that the ability to go for the hard times actually keep you hustle muscle to move on to the next area. And it’s very difficult to go like I did, but I’ve done it and I can still stand up to any single person and Mr. Email guy and say to him, it doesn’t matter how much time you haven’t got. If you’re willing to get off your backside and work for it. You can change it and I can do that about I think I made it a lot harder for myself because my life had been rolling All the way through, I haven’t had the struggles, so I can see totally why you say you wouldn’t change it.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [39:05]
Yeah, absolutely. And look what you do now with your podcast, you talk to people that have struggled and have succeeded. So even though your life was rosy for quite a long time, you’re now reaching out to people who didn’t have quite so much Rosie and giving others the opportunity to see that they can do it too. So perhaps your rosiness led you to a place to be where you are now to be so successful.
David Ralph [39:29]
Over adults Join Up Dots. And I’m gonna play some words from a man who says it better than most because he kind of wrote the thing. Steve Jobs Of course,
Steve Jobs [39:36]
it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
Unknown Speaker [40:11]
So do you do?
David Ralph [40:13]
I think I know the answer you do buy into those words totally, because you’ve already sort of alluded to the fact but do you see that the the big things in your life have been the things that have been out of control? Is that the way it’s operated with you? They are the ones that have actually pushed you more than you actually taking it step yourself.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [40:32]
Oh, absolutely. I totally believe in and joining up the dots and, and he’s right, you don’t see them at the time. The example I’ve always used is a photo album, you know, you see little snapshots of your life, but you never see the album complete until the very, very end, you know, and so many are focused on I want to see how the dots join up. I want to see the finished photo album. Well, we’re not supposed to see the finish. You got to do the work to get there. You know, and so that’s I love when he says you can only see them looking back, you’ve got to have faith that they’re going to connect. And you know, and I still know there are times I struggle, and I worry about money, or I worry about a job, I worry about kids. But I have to look back and say, well, it’s always worked out in the past, there’s always been enough in the past, there will always be enough in the future. I just have to believe that.
David Ralph [41:21]
So what would you be? When you look back on everything? Would it have been Katrina? Or would it have been something else that really gave you the belief that you could start writing and and doing what you’re doing?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [41:33]
Oh, Katrina definitely started it for sure. I, I knew you were going to ask this question. So I was thinking about this morning. And a few years ago, I wrote a blog post called 44. For my next 44 years, it was on my 44th birthday, and I wrote a list of 44 things I wanted to do. And I wrote the post and I quickly forgot about it. And about a year later, I went back to it and I was amazed at all the things on that list. I was able to check off now. I hadn’t I didn’t have the list of In front of me every single day for a year and said, Oh, I need to do number five, it just kind of happened because I had it in my consciousness that hey, these are the changes I want to make, these are the things I want to do. And so I think then I was open to the opportunities to do them. And so I was able to it was a really neat way to look back on paper and see how those dots connected.
David Ralph [42:20]
And and would you do the same thing again? Would you write a list like that and just leave it on your bucket list kind of person? Or do you feel the kind of universe leads us in the direction that we should be going?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [42:32]
Now I’m a bucket list kind of person. Now I don’t like I said, I don’t have it in front of me all the time. And I often forget about it. But just writing those things down, puts it out there that okay, this is what I’m working towards. It makes it real. Yeah, cuz I can sit here and say to myself, Oh, I want to write a book. I hope I write a book someday. But putting pen to paper or letting other people know you’re going to do it. There’s your accountability. You know, if I told you Hey, David, I’m gonna write a book and next time I talk to you, you’re gonna say hey, how’s that book done? right you’re gonna keep me accountable. So you’re gonna help me connect that dot.
David Ralph [43:05]
I want to film out of you. That’s what I think. I see kind of like cheaper by the dozen six or cheaper by the half dozen something like that.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [43:14]
Okay, let’s do it. You can produce it. Yeah.
David Ralph [43:16]
Now I want to be in here. I don’t don’t just want to be behind the camera when I want to be in there as that star.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [43:23]
Okay, well, what co star together? How’s that?
David Ralph [43:25]
Absolutely. I can’t remember the last time a woman said she make a film with me. This is a new thing for me. I’m gonna keep that as a personal trophy. Well, this is the end of the show. And this is the part that we call a sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Jennifer, what age would you choose and what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [44:00]
We go with the best bit of the show.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [44:17]
So dear younger 20 something Jennifer. Staying stagnant in life will slowly but surely destroy your soul. You’ve got to keep moving, you’ve got to have dreams and you’ve got to believe in your dreams. When the thought of staying where you are, is scarier than the fear of the unknown. It’s time to make that leap of faith and make a change. And please stop basing your decisions on what you think other people will think of you. Make your decisions on what your soul tells you is right. The people who criticise you are those who are too afraid to follow their own dreams and change their own life.
David Ralph [44:55]
Jennifer, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Jennifer Williams-Fields [45:00]
Go to Jennifer Williams fields.com, you’ll find a link to my book creating a joyful life, the lessons I’ve learned from yoga and my mom, and you can contact me through there.
David Ralph [45:10]
We’ll have all the links in the show notes. Jennifer, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. Please come back again, when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our path, it’s the best way to build our futures. Jennifer Whitney misfields, thank you so much.
Jennifer Williams-Fields [45:26]
Thank you. It’s a pleasure.
David Ralph [45:29]
So look at your own life and look at all our lives. I suppose Jennifer wanted to be in office. So she started writing and now she’s got a book. She’s doing work. You know, she’s it’s not a full entrepreneurial leap. But she’s battling. She’s balancing her life with her kids. There’s time there’s time to do stuff. And if you’re looking at your own life and going oh, I haven’t got time to do it, believe me. You just have to go back and and listen to my episode with Jeff Goins where he would get up every single morning and write Before he went to work, and he did it for about eight years before the world noticed him. But unless you get hit by a car or something you’ve got eight years, I really believe that it doesn’t matter how long it takes. As long as you ven live the rest of your life, like you should be, I would be willing to sacrifice the next 15 years. If I got the next 30 years after that as the absolute dream, maybe I’m different. Hopefully you’ve all the same. Thank you very much for listening to the show. Thank you very much for subscribing in high numbers. If you could spare a moment, give us a rating and review. That’d be marvellous. But the best thing of all, please be better next time. I’ll be there. See you later.
Bye bye. David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life, head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free And we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.