Ron Stelle Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Ron Stelle
Ron Stelle is our guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots Podcast.
He is a man who has experienced something that we see time and time again on Join Up Dots, sometimes a calling is waiting to be answered.
You work through your life, doing a myriad of things until with a knock knock on the door, you are thrown into a world that for many begs the question.
“Why the hell didn’t I do this earlier….its amazing”
Well today’s guest is such a person and after growing up on the south-West side of Houston Texas, did what many young men did in the late seventies.
Saught out adventure and travel by joining the US Navy for 23 years, which had him based in Virginia where he ultimately retired in 2001.
But this is just a small part of his story as he also worked as a restaurant manager, a musician and also in the auto-mobile industry as a Service adviser.
None of these occupations giving much clue to where his life was heading.
How The Dots Joined Up For Ron
It was however, after he started doing daily posts on Facebook that his wife Sandy had an idea, and over a period of time persuaded him to write a book
And so he started writing a novel about growing up in the sixties. which turned out to be something of an epiphany to him.
As he says “I found that I have a natural gift that I was unaware I possessed.”
And now the books just keep on coming with the name of “Best Selling author” firmly linked to his output.
He has written six novels from coming of age comedy to supernatural thrillers.
His latest work, Xtreme Options, is a fast paced Detective Murder Mystery that throws the Irish pair of Bryce Mallory and Shamus Crawley into a whirlwind of excitement as they match wits with the High Stakes Killer, who gives his victims a chance to walk away if they win the bet.
So although he states his writing skills were a complete surprise, did he ever show a passion for English and Literature at school?
And what does he say to people who often say things like “It’s ok for you, I’m just not talented at anything!”
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Ron Stelle
Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Ron Stelle such as:
Because of his childhood polio difficulties, he consumed masses of comic books that gave him the thrill of escapism that never quite left behind.
How we all have talents that can delight the world, but we must polish them and protect them to give them every chance to flourish.
How he loves to inspire his kids to throw caution to the world and go for their dreams, although there is no getting away from the true gift of an education.
And Lastly…………
How from the first chapter of writing his book it took only seven works to deliver it to the world….he had found that magic thing that feels easy.
Ron Stelle Books
How To Connect With Ron Stelle
Return To The Top Of Ron Stelle
If you enjoyed this episode with Ron Stelle why not check out other inspirational chat with Stephanie Keenan, Johnny FD, Akshay Nanavati and the amazing Christopher Lochhead
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Ron Stelle Interview
Intro [0:00]
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Yes, hi everybody and welcome to Join Up Dots. You know, every day I say I love being a podcaster there’s nothing better in the world. Except today is the first perfect day we’ve got in the United Kingdom all year the clouds are just disappear, beautiful blue sky, and I’m trapped indoors all day recording episodes, but believe me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. So it’s a delight to connect with today’s guests. Because he’s going to deliver something that is something that we see time and time again on Join Up Dots. It’s one of those kind of similar stories that sometimes A calling is just waiting to be answered. You work through your life doing a myriad of things until we have a knock knock on the door. You’re thrown into a world that for many begs the questions Why the hell didn’t I do this earlier? It’s amazing. Well, today’s guest is such a person. And after growing up on the southwest side of Houston, Texas, he did what many young men did in the late 70s. He sought out adventure and travel, but joining the US Navy for 23 years, which had him based in Virginia, where we ultimately retired in 2001. But this is just a small part of his story as he also worked as a restaurant manager, and musician and also in the automobile industry as a service advisor. None of these occupations giving much clue to where his life was heading. It was However, after he started doing daily posts on Facebook, but his wife, Sandy had an idea and over a period of time, persuaded him to write a book. And so he started writing. And the writing became a novel about growing up in the 60s, which turned out to be something of an epiphany to hear As he says, I found that out I had a natural gift, and I was unaware I possessed it. And now the books just keep on coming with the name of best selling author. Firmly linked to his output. He’s written six novels from coming of age comedy to supernatural thrillers. His latest work extreme options is a fast paced detective murder mystery that throws the Irish pair of Bryce Mallory and Seamus Crawley into a whirlwind of excitement as they match wits with the high stakes killer who gives his victims a chance to walk away if they win the bet. So although he states his writing skills were a complete surprise. Did he ever show a passion for English and literature at school? And what does he say to people often say things like it’s okay for you. I’m just not talented at anything. Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Ron Stelle. How are you?
Ron Stelle [2:51]
Good morning, David. I’m doing great. How are you?
David Ralph [2:53]
I am born great and I feel like I’m getting greater is that how life should be sir
Ron Stelle [3:00]
Think every day you wake up, you should be grateful and then go for the gusto. I’m 100% believe that that’s the way we should live.
David Ralph [3:07]
So here’s the million dollar question and we’ve cut right to the chase. If that’s the way I think we should live, that’s the way you think we should live. Why are so many people not living that way? Is it just situation? Is it just that I don’t believe? What do you reckon?
Ron Stelle [3:22]
I would say that most folks settle that was a great intro that you gave when you spoke about people settling.
Everybody has a passion. Everybody has something inside them that they wish they could do, but through circumstance and other folks telling them maybe they couldn’t, or just negativity in life and experiences, packed it away into a corner and so it’s forgotten in the I don’t remember or care about it shelf of their mind anymore. Everybody has a gift. Everybody has something that they have a passion for. And because life is short, it was just yesterday. I was 20 That, you should just go ahead and give it a whirl, you’ve got nothing to lose at all by going for your dream, you don’t have to dramatically change your life, you just sit down there and make an effort for it. And most folks will be very surprised at the outcome because anything can be achieved with hard work and you have the gift of the talent and you’re good to go.
David Ralph [4:22]
But the problem is Ron, and I think you would admit this yourself is, it’s okay for you because you found your thing I found my thing everyone I speak to is find their thing, but when you can’t find your thing, and you just think that you haven’t got any talents that are transferable. It is difficult, isn’t it?
Ron Stelle [4:39]
It is and what you could probably do is find things that you enjoy and others are things that you enjoy and like acting or singing or writing a book or building something, just try a few things. Try a few things that you haven’t tried before that you have an interest for. Go for it. You may be very well surprised that you’re pretty good at it, you won’t know for sure if you don’t give it a shot.
David Ralph [5:05]
So you’re relating, as we said in the introduction, you were surprised you you now say it’s a natural gift. Was there no clues at all? Did you not sort of write romantic poems to your wife, Sandy or anything?
Ron Stelle [5:19]
Well, here’s the thing. I grew up reading comic books. As a child, when they were new, when Thor and Hulk were all brand new. I read them when they did just come out. And I fell into that world because as a young young person, I was sickly with polio. So I had a very weak childhood up till about the age of nine. And because of that, I dove into the supernatural realm or the superhero realm rather. And I absorbed thousands and thousands of stories and adventure and fantasy watching Tarzan on the movie in the movies in the morning. So I built all that This up and stored it back in my mind. I never really considered writing although I found out later midlife that I had a very good affinity with words that I was able to speak well. I did it one time that 35 years ago just decided to write a story about an adventure that I’d had just to because I wanted to get it down. And it’s for future folks to know about because it was funny. And I wrote it pretty well. It didn’t even occur to me when I was writing it. What was happening there, why was easy, I just assumed that everybody could do what I just did. And I did that one story and put it away and didn’t do another thing for 30 years. So it came as a surprise to me. Yes. When when the first book came out,
David Ralph [6:54]
it’s fascinating. You savour that because you just did it easily. You kind of didn’t missed it. It’s it’s a big drawback isn’t it that the fact that and I suppose it’s a mindset thing as well. But when you find the thing that you do very well, and subsequently you enjoy it. So then you become better and better, until you get to a point that hopefully you’re better than most people at doing something. You kind of don’t buy into the value. Life’s supposed to be hard as we hear all the time, you’ve got a struggle to achieve anything, get your head down, get your grades and go for it. But then we’ll gold is the fact that life shouldn’t be a struggle, isn’t it?
Ron Stelle [7:34]
That is correct. And it’s it’s a rare few that find out early on in life, what their calling is, for lack of a better word. I always wanted to be a rock musician. I also grew up as a young man, you know, in my 18 to 24 years in the 6975 timeframe when rock and roll was predominant. So I did play and I’d still play the drums in the guitar part of what I do. That was kind of a dream that didn’t come to fruition because so much of life got in the way at some point I, my whole outlook changed and I decided to join the Navy to serve my country. So that took over for 23 years and everything got pushed to the side.
I do believe and this is probably
probably closer to the truth than anything that
if you go by life has an outline for you that you’re going to live that most gifts are probably discovered when they’re supposed to be for whatever reason that may be in the universe, whether you’re God fearing soul or you believe in karma or coincidence. I do think that if you do have a calling, if you do have a gift that you will discover it at whatever point in your life it’s time to happen. I don’t think you can force something if you’re not ready or I would have done it 30 years ago.
David Ralph [8:55]
Did you do not have to start looking for it though wrong if you were going nine to five flopping in front of the TV getting up the next day do you actually have to start wanting to change to find that thing
Ron Stelle [9:08]
I do here. This is the way it worked for me. I always wanted to better my life, I always wanted to do something significant. I was hoping to do it through the music. And then as I went through the Navy, I thought maybe when I retired since I was a navigator I do you know, one of those cruise ships and but I’d already seen the world so that at the time when it was all over wasn’t something that appealed to me. But I was always thinking, something’s going to come around the corner that’s daydreaming, and that doesn’t get you that far, but it is what keeps your motivation going until you find that niche. Knowing there’s something out there for you, and that’s why I say that folks who have an itch who thinks that there’s something more out there, it would probably be very beneficial as soon as as young as you can to try different things to see if something clicks Because, like what like you told him? When I found that I had a gift of writing? It kind of surprised me. I mean, I knew I had no problem doing motivational posts in the day. But hey, that’s like a paragraph. You know, I thought anybody can do a paragraph but my wife saw difference. So you might need a motivator from the outside or if somebody has ever come up to you and talking to the listeners now and said, you know, you might be good at such and such, you know, you really, I see you doodling over there, but you really have a, you know, it looks like you really might be able to have a gift of painting or drawing. Why don’t you? Why don’t you try something like that or you tell great stories you ever tried putting it down on page or you got really good rhythm when you’re going along with the thing you ever decide, maybe try to pick up some drums. Listen to folks, folks notice gifts and people before they do themself. And if somebody says something like that, well why not give it a shot? What do you got to lose?
David Ralph [10:57]
If you find the H go for the next
Ron Stelle [11:00]
That’s that bad boy. Yeah,
David Ralph [11:02]
yeah. Would that be the right way to niche down? A lot of people think they’ve got to be like global dominating, but with the opportunities on the internet to self publish and to produce your own content is it is it niche that wins the game?
Ron Stelle [11:17]
niche was the game. But be also be realistic. And when you’re going for your, your dream, nothing happens typically, typically, instantaneously. You have to have a bit of thick skin. But here’s what here’s my thing. I’ve run into walls, and you know, you still run into walls now and again, the thing is, you’ll know if you’re good at something, you’ll know it. The reason I found out I was good at writing is I read probably 3000 books in the Navy, because you got plenty of time to do that when you’re travelling back and forth. So yeah, I knew a good read. It didn’t matter that I wrote it. I recognised it for being something that I would have enjoyed reading from someone Else. And not that’s not an arrogance, that’s an awareness. So you have to polish gifts, you have to learn some of the dynamics of it and in writing, you’ve got to learn the mechanics of it. So, yeah, you if you have a niche, you need to go for it. But it’s not like these kids that get out, they’re gonna think they’re going to buy a drum set and then three weeks, they’re going to be on stage with Motley Crue, it’s not going to happen that way. But with hard work, confidence, not letting things get in your way or strike you down, you will achieve a measure of success even if it’s only in your own mind.
David Ralph [12:36]
So so if we took you back to your childhood, polio, polio difficulties, those comic books, did it give you an understanding of story of escapism when he was consuming them? Can you remember that little boy that you were and why you loved him so much.
Ron Stelle [12:53]
Of course, I mean, I was the I was the alter ego of the superhero, then anytime. I could just pull off my glasses and open my shirt and be Superman or Thor. I don’t think I thought of it at the time as being what it turned out to be the the seed that grew into what I do now. I just know that I really enjoyed it and that I had a wild imagination. I am such an artistic soul. I mean, if you put me I definitely have nothing to do with. I could never be a mathematician as it were i i daydreamed, I wanted to I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to be a superhero. I wanted to do movies where you could be the superhero. So yes, I have an artistic so I used to draw a little bit I always felt that there was an artistic draw in my life, but depending on your upbringing, and this is true. So I’m going to be very blunt with you. The harsh reality is you may not have had a supportive family growing up It may not have been Leave it to Beaver it may it may not have been the most wonderful thing. So maybe your your ego was pushed back deep into your soul that that you wouldn’t be not be able to do anything because that’s what you were raised to believe. And I think a lot of folks have that they they had negative connotations growing up where people told them they couldn’t and they weren’t they were worthless and what have you. And after a while they believe it. The epiphany in life is to realise that’s all hogwash, that what other people really didn’t say doesn’t matter. It’s what you the reflection in the mirror says so. Like I say if you have an itch, you have a obligation to yourself to scratch it because you just don’t know what’s under that surface. I mean, go for it. I mean, give yourself a break, go for the go. What do you have to lose if it doesn’t work out find something else.
David Ralph [14:51]
Now the other flip side of this supportive family we see it time time again in the United Kingdom, as you will probably see it in America is The girls and the guys who get pushed onto American Idol. And they obviously can’t hit a note. But their mums are so delusional. And they say, Simon, Simon chia have a number one and you think you’re not even going to get two notes out, then it’s never going to work. Suppose is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Because it’s got to be based in realism.
Ron Stelle [15:20]
Absolutely. That is, I used to think watching and I was a big fan of that show that they set these people up because just for the humour factor, I could not believe that some of those folks got up there and actually did that in public. I said, anyone that heard them, anyone with Hutu ears that actually functioned, wouldn’t let them get out in the door. So I had to believe that they were letting certain folks come through for the comedic factor of it. But if that wasn’t true, if someone was really pushed and pushed that they were great, that’s devastating. Many of them know they look at the camera crying as I’m not giving up. You’ll see me again, when in reality they’re saying I’ll never sing another note.
David Ralph [15:57]
But I still I suppose thinking about it. They Have that learning but they get up there, okay, they might get four red, ah, and they’re on they’re on their way. But they still had that, that spark to get up on stage and give it a go. So if I can find somewhere that needs that spark, then they’re cooking on gas on night.
Ron Stelle [16:21]
They absolutely are. And then some of these folks were pretty good, but they just didn’t have the training. And I go back to that a raw gift is not going to come out. Like the golden egg, it’s going to come out needing to be polished and, and cared for and nurtured. So when you find that niche that we talked about, there are steps you have to take to bring it to its fruition, and that’s hard work. That’s the opposite side of having a gift. If you have a gift that’s wonderful. But you have to use it you have to work with it. You have to develop it. You have Have to do everything you can to make it the best it can be because like you said with the internet, any Billy Bob can go put a book out and on CreateSpace on on Amazon and not have to go through an editor or anything else. And they’re looking for instant success and instant writing contracts and such and that’s just not going to happen. So what my advice is, is that you would go ahead and and keep it.
Go for it in a logical progression.
David Ralph [17:34]
One of the things that we have run through the show is a community called dream starters Academy and it’s a secret Facebook group, where literally one of the rules is, it doesn’t matter what you share, you’re not going to get slammed for it. You know, the most stupid ideas can become gold in the right environment. So we actively encourage people to be as creative as possible and to throw three from those shackles and use See, they start off, very reluctant to say anything. And then little by little, you see them picking up speed before they start actually really finding their thing. And I don’t know about yourself, but I find that the people that give back most into this group are the ones that seem to gain but most to do you find that as a similarity in what you do.
Ron Stelle [18:24]
Absolutely. You need to have support. You need to be able to be given the space to to go full throttle. My wife did that for me by sitting at the end of the couch and I’ve read a passage she says, keep writing. Keep writing her dead probably 3000 times in a seven week span. Keep writing No, no, no criticism. My first book I wrote without one ounce of direction, I didn’t have any education and I did have a college degree and I did have to take English but I was never in a writing course.
David Ralph [19:00]
So what did she say, you know, Veronica, jump in there?
Unknown Speaker [19:04]
Because
Ron Stelle [19:07]
I had a fairly decent command of the English language and i would i would speak to her on what she would call a higher level than she was used to being spoken to with some folks and such and then I would write these motivational posts and she maybe she was just pushed or maybe she saw something I didn’t but she just said Monday She goes, you know, you really are really excellent with words and your motivational posts are beautiful. You should write a book that you have something in there and I I just looked at it the other under the couch and said, Okay,
David Ralph [19:40]
so So yeah, monster you’ve never said What did you see me?
Ron Stelle [19:44]
No, I did well, sure. We had conversations, but she just said straight out that it occurred to her that one day that if I could put on paper the way I spoke, that it might be something interesting to read. And so Like it was funny, it’s literally we were sitting on the couch and she just looked down and we had the dogs between us. She just looked over, she goes, you need to write a book. I go, okay. She goes, I’m serious. You You have a gift of words you need to write a book. And I don’t know if that was divine intervention or just something that I needed for an impetus to get pushed forward. But I didn’t I just thought What do I know about the people might enjoy and I thought, I’ve been very dismayed at the generation coming up that they don’t go outside and play so much as twiddle their thumbs in front of a screen. And I said, I think it was wonderful growing up having freedom of outdoors without any restrictions and playing and using my imagination. All we did was we played war, we play games we, we got dirty, we had fun. So I wrote about growing up because I had an excellent I had an excellent six years on a street where there were 17 children. They’re all within two ages of each other two years of each other We did all kinds of stuff. So I thought I’d just write a book about growing up. And from the very first opening words I put down that book came out of me and seven weeks, 300 pages
David Ralph [21:10]
a day, it was always me. It doesn’t surprise me, I can hear the passion for that. And there’s the simplicity. And as you’re saying that I’m nostalgic. I grew up in the 70s, where literally, it was, what time do I need to come home when it’s dark? And you used to just clear off, and you didn’t have any mobile phones or any way to connect with your mom and dad, you just went off and had adventures? And I would love my kids to have that but it’s never gonna come back, is it?
Ron Stelle [21:35]
No, and that’s a that’s a shame. I wrote it down. I wrote in the very last part of the book, I wrote down a testimony to what my generation was like growing up, I want kids to know that this is what we did. And we survived it. And I think you didn’t have to have every single thing, you know, watchdog and put in a category and you know, there’s so much net negativity in the world right now. And the some, the parents don’t let their kids expand and grow on their own. They’re, they’re growing up in front of you know, call a war, or Game of Thrones or nothing against these shows or games. I’m just saying, You are right, we went out and exercise our right to be little human beings and, and learned life lessons between our friends. We didn’t bring it all home to mommy or any of that. Sometimes you did. But you know, what I’m saying is that we had the freedom to grow up and into the create relationships and learn how they work and learn how to be hurt and learn how to fight back and learn how to give praise and learn how to love that, to me is a natural normal progression for a child. And I thought you know, it’s it’s horrible that what I see that this is not happening for these children. I thought I put something down in words for people to look back on and look finally for maybe some younger parents look back on and say, Well, maybe I can give this a try with my kids. But you’re right technology has pretty much blown out of the water, you have to live with that. So
David Ralph [23:04]
it’d be, it’d be interesting to write a book based on a kid from the past being put into the future when kind of Marty McFly of modern day where nowadays, you know, I buy bikes for my kids, I only ever ride them. When, as a family, we go out where I say, Tim, why don’t you take no, no, we just Skype. Why don’t you just get on your bike and go around to the person’s house. Now I don’t need to just face time, it’s easier that way. So it’d be it’d be good to have that kind of, you know, nostalgic view put into the future somewhere.
Ron Stelle [23:40]
Now you went and did it, you put an idea in my head.
David Ralph [23:43]
There we go. I’m
Ron Stelle [23:47]
gonna have to put that book I’m gonna have to dedicate it to you because you just put an idea in my head. This is how it works. Now you put an idea in my head. It doesn’t go away. I’m going to it’s going to germinate and I’m going to sit there and when I get done with what I’m writing, I’m going to create a book about exactly what You just said,
David Ralph [24:01]
and you know why, sir, you love what you do. And I’m gonna play some words that emphasise that. These are Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [24:08]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [24:35]
So your parents didn’t have
Unknown Speaker [24:37]
Oh, no, they’ve all passed on.
David Ralph [24:39]
So did they see any of the books come to fruition?
Ron Stelle [24:44]
Now, I’m for the last my mother at a very young age and my father passed away about a year before I started my first book.
David Ralph [24:54]
Would that be a regret that they didn’t see those?
Ron Stelle [24:57]
Yeah, I mean, every child would like To make his parents proud in a way that they may not already be by doing something like that, and that goes back to what I said about how were you raised? What was your relationship with your parents? If they were loving, nurturing, then it wouldn’t surprise them at all. But if if you were raised, set in the corner, set aside product of divorce, not wanting whatever, all the different stories you hear, then it might surprise them greatly. And it would give you a wonderful sense of purpose. But I think it’s important at some deep level to all human beings that they do something that would impress their parents. It’s a dynamic relationship, and I think it would, it would be inside of each and every one of us. There are exceptions to the rule, but Sure, yeah, absolutely.
David Ralph [25:53]
It’s interesting. You say that because I do this for a living and for years I did public speaking and my Parents only saw me ever do it when it was like weddings and I had to get up and do a speech or something. But best man also fall for the bride up in a couple of times. And even though I do this as a living by still can’t quite grasp it, and no matter how much success I have, they will say to us. Oh, well, I’m sure it’s gonna go well, but I couldn’t do that. I’ve never once had a Wow, you’re doing really well. And I think I think I would like that. So I think you’re right there is that that deep rooted parental? pat on the back, which is just gone is because lots of parents I don’t know, if you find this kind of leave things unsaid. It’s assumed that they love you that is assume that they’re proud, but they never really say it. He’s just life moves on.
Ron Stelle [26:48]
You want to hear something even interesting as well. I agree with you. I think that’s the same dynamic as with our children. There can be children of successful parents that don’t always give them accolades, and I think there’s that dynamic goes from parents to child and from child to their children. You may have children that don’t turn around and say you know anything to about your success, you may tell them you’re gonna be on time square next year, next week and they go, okay, you know, and then they go on to another subject. And to me, there may be some there may actually be inter relation, jealousy and i’m not i’m not saying that in a negative way. We’re all human beings, we’re all subject to certain emotions and such. But there’s that dynamic as well. You always see movies where the kids are celebrities or like, you know, they don’t even talk about their parents celebrity because they don’t want to be under the shadow of that. So pretty much most of the the Pat’s on the back of the attaboys will probably come from fans and the folks that like your work and unless you hit superstardom, and and even then I think the parents and the children are these people that probably keep them grounded by saying You know, you is the guy I saw break when the other day in public or you you know you had a spot on your shoe or whatever, that keep you grounded.
David Ralph [28:07]
I’ve got some really close friends who had not listened to one episode, we’ve released about 560 episodes, and some of them would be perfect for them. I’ll actually say to him, don’t listen to that this weekend. And I never do. They never ever listened to one of them. And it used to sort of bother me. But now I accept what you’re saying there is a kind of buy don’t want me to change. They want the old me to be the same, because they haven’t moved on as much as I have is that it’s not jealousy. But I think you’ve got to justify yourself once you start looking at somebody else’s body of work. Would you agree?
Ron Stelle [28:45]
Yes. And I that. I hesitated to use jealousy because it’s a dynamic word. But I do think that what you’re saying I think we’re right. We’re sitting right on the cusp of that awareness is that close folks, close friends and Family and such. If they see you succeeding, and they’re not, they don’t really want to go there because it’s a personal challenge, for lack of better terminology that, well, why am I not doing something like this? Why am I not doing that and rather than face that, they just don’t want to talk about it and sets your around. They don’t want to talk about it because again, they haven’t gone after their niche. I think the world would be an incredibly fascinating places, if everybody supported each other to go after their gifts that they were born with and if they just don’t have one than something that they are very good at that can be nurtured and made a lot better through hard work. Of course, you can’t have a world where everybody does what they want everybody be movie stars and rock idols, but you can for sure, write a song and put it on YouTube now, which you couldn’t do before you can for sure. Make a painting and see if anyone liked it at a sidewalk show. Just anything a small measure of success is an incredible builder of confidence that allows you to go to the next step. But I, then again, I say, you are going to run into walls, whether it be family or friends, or just there are haters out there and you and I both know it, they don’t care what you do, they’re going to find fault. That is a that is what I called a damaged soul. They nothing makes them happy and the only happiness they get is to bring someone else down and we all know that’s true. And it’s it’s a horrific crime to me as far as being a human being, you’re wasting your life. So I have learned to ignore that and recognise it immediately because what they they pound on is usually inconsequential because it’s the only thing they can find. So you have to put those folks aside and surround yourself with people who, who support you who make you who feel good, the ones that you can choose.
David Ralph [30:57]
So I know you’ve got a daughter Phoebe, and I think you’ve got Michelle and Mitch, how supportive Are you of bat talents? Are you to kind of Dad? Now get a job, you know, get a 401 or are you somebody that says Now throw caution to the wind and go for it big time?
Ron Stelle [31:15]
Absolutely. I tell him, I’m caution to the wind. I said you should. Absolutely. You’re good at that. I tell Mitch, you know, he’d be a great lawyer, he can find an argument at anything you need a devil’s advocate. That’s this guy and he’s good at it. So he’s in college now we’re like, you know, he’s going for business and that’s good. But in the back of my mind, I’m saying trust me with my experience when I’m looking at here. You have this you have a gift of being able to convince people to see your way and if your way is the right way, then you have an obligation. Maybe you go there. And the same with the same with Phoebe. She’s also got incredible writing skills. I am trying to Get her to sit down and write a book with me where she writes a chapter and then sends it to me and then I write the next and we intermix it because Stephen King did that with a couple other folks. He wrote talisman he wrote that with strange straws for things like that. Yeah, just worked. Do it go for your dream life. Why wait until you’re 55 years old or something before you go for your dream go right now. See what happens. You have you have nothing to lose by seeing what happens.
David Ralph [32:28]
I was walking in a park the other day with a family. And they were saying, Oh, you know, we’re really pushing this little girl to get her exams and her education and stuff. And are you to sign with your son Dan? And I said, Yeah, I support him. I think education is great and but I don’t really care for it as much anymore. I think you’d learn more from hustle and getting out there when you do just getting a job. And they said yet no, but jobs are important. You know, that’s where life skills are built and But not as rubbish, we have a job, you just do the same thing 25 times each year, that’s the only thing you learn. But getting out there and engaging and interacting and having failures. That’s the true learning. So my kids, my, my youngest two are 14 and 10, or 14 and 11. Now, I very much want them to grasp the fact that if I put the effort in and they really go for it, they can shape something that can’t be taken away from them. They’re not going to be sitting on a desk, and a hand lands on their shoulder. So they restructure you out of a job. Oh my god, what do I do? I really want them to start getting that entrepreneurial spirit. Do you see the world changing in that regard? Or is that a kind of different more forward thinking point of view, then then the rest of wheelchairs?
Ron Stelle [33:47]
Well, that’s very subjective. I agree with you. You should have a basic education so that you have the skills to do the things that you want to do. I mean, you can’t if you don’t know how to write a paragraph you’re never going to be a writer no matter how great your intellect or your, your, your imagination is. So sure, you have to have basic skills. But we’re going to go back to you, you lit a fuse on me just now about the women that you see that trying to force their little girls to be in beauty pageants. Yeah, that ain’t about the kids. That’s about the parent. We all know that. So I would never try to force my child to live my dream. And that’s where parents need to step back just because you think that’s what they need to be doing or should be doing. That may not be in their genetic makeup. That may not be who they are. But they’ll do it because they love mom and dad, they want to be proud, but it could damage him. You you let your child show you what their gift is and then do everything you can to flourish it to build it to help them. That’s what a good parent does. He teaches them. You teach them morality. You teach them respect, and you encourage their natural inclination. To me, that would be the way to go with any human being. And I think that those who have been raised that way are probably the ones that find their gifts very early in life because they were allowed to do that.
David Ralph [35:12]
When you are writing your book, taking the conversation back to your publications, do you hand them out to your family to sort of read them before you pull them out to the world or do you keep them secret? Are you sort of almost ashamed of your family to read them?
Ron Stelle [35:29]
No, gosh, no. I’ve sent all my books to my daughter Phoebe who lives in Virginia. She was born there when I was in the Navy and now she has her own family out there and I’m here with my second family in Chicago.
Unknown Speaker [35:47]
The
Unknown Speaker [35:51]
I give actually,
Ron Stelle [35:56]
all of my work, I post a lot of it on Facebook just in small Extra is to give people a taste of what I’m doing. And when I do have a book, I will anyone that shows interest to me that I know in my familiar circle where I live, I’ll give them a book to read, just so that they can see if it’s something they really like, and maybe leave a review. I let my I have books that I give to fans who request them. I also offer books to anyone in the world who wants to send one to me, I’ll sign it, give them a message and send it back to them. Just the little things in life I don’t. I read I read my work. I’m typically satisfied with it, especially if the beta readers or the editors really like it as well. I don’t need to have certain folks give me approval for it. I think that at some point in your the career that you go for that’s following your niche that you will know if it’s You’re doing well or not without having too many folks tell you that you are By the work itself, so sure I let all my family who wants to read it all the kids have all the books so and and i don’t typically get a lot of feedback from them. But if I’m watching them read and I see him see him chuckle or look astonished and that’s all I need. I know what they just did they they reacted to my work.
David Ralph [37:19]
And do you look back on any of your work and think, ah, I wish I could sort of re edit about that that wasn’t quite what I wanted or do you just like, push it out and go, that’s good. Because as I say this a lot in podcasting. What I love about podcasting is the fact that you never go back over anything. He’s just new, you just push it out and that’s it. God.
Ron Stelle [37:40]
It’s true. I typically when I finish a book, and I’ve done my reread of it or my first or second edit, I’m pretty comfortable with it. My first book would be an editor’s nightmare, because it’s written in like three different voices depending on the scenario, but it worked. It was written from a 12 year old nine year olds point of view up to 11 year old to 12 year old point of view and I wrote it just like that using the vocabulary and the vernacular of the time I switched to whatever I needed to and I broke a lot of the rules but you know what? Rubbish to the rules. I don’t really give a squat about certain things in the writing community. I don’t make outlines I don’t know where I’m going to be from one paragraph to the next. I don’t do any of that because I write the way I like and it works for me so that’s another thing I want to tell potential writers out there you don’t have to take two years of writing class and make outlines and know where you’re gonna be in 150 pages to write a book if you got a gift you’re gonna write a book
David Ralph [38:45]
but oh you because surely you still have to have that fire to be sparked up we hear time and time again that you you in the death, the wishes of the dying or something. There’s a book where they asked everybody You know, on your deathbed, what is your biggest regret the regret of the dying, that’s what it’s called. And then number one was, but they didn’t live their own life, they live somebody else’s.
Ron Stelle [39:10]
That goes back to what I was saying about parents pushing their children into their life, what they want them to do instead of what they want to do. And I think that’s probably a great, great mini die. Having that thought on their mind and that I wish I’d have done something different. Well, then do something different. Don’t wait until it’s too late. I mean, I’m 61 years old and I’m in the prime I’m healthy. I’m young feeling I’ve got forever ahead of me and I’m writing I can’t turn it off. That’s the thing. I use gift not to say, Well, I don’t have a gift. So I’m never going to be anything that’s rubbish to what the fact is you have something in you. All of us do that you’re good at. I haven’t met one person that wasn’t good at something and they may do the latter to the hobby. I said, Well, why don’t you pursue it? Little bit more, you just don’t know. I think a lot of folks talent is wasted because they never let it out of the bag. They’ve never gone for it. I say, Stop that. Sit down and do it. Don’t let anyone’s don’t tell anybody. If you if you’re the personality is inclined to be afraid to let anybody know you’re doing anything different. Just do it yourself. And then give it to someone you trust and move on and move on.
You don’t have to be limited to what you were told you can be
David Ralph [40:29]
now now you’re 61 years old, right? And I’m 46. And there’s a big part of me that raises its head and goes that you should have done this years ago. But of course, technology wasn’t there. I couldn’t have done it. You know, you can’t create you create your own radio station 10 years ago, it just wasn’t there. Now with you and your writing. It’s a different ballgame. Do you look back and think Oh, I wish I’d started it earlier or do you think no Actually, I wasn’t ready, but it had to be at the right time.
Ron Stelle [40:58]
I would say a bit of both A bit of both because I, I do wish it when I was 18 that I said, You know what, maybe I’ll try writing a book because who knows where life would be right now, if I just started 30 years ago or 30 years ago. That mean the sky’s the limit I might have been James Patterson, Stephen King, maybe, maybe I would have. But on the other hand, I do also believe that certain things happen for a reason at the time they happen, because it’s the you have the maturity or the ability or the time or the right frame of mind to to do this. There are many, many, many, if you look through history, many of the great writers and painters didn’t do it till later in life. And I think there’s a reason for that. I think it’s because we have to get our experiences behind this, to shape us to give us the ability to go forward with that. Again, I say most of the folks that I know that succeed early in life with their gifts and ones that were allowed To pursue it growing up that were encouraged to follow what it is they wanted to do. Many of us weren’t. It’s, it’s, it’s kind of a toss up in the air. Sure, I wish I could have done it when I was younger, who knows where I’d be, but then again, maybe it wouldn’t have worked out at that time. Or they would, it would just fill it and put the dream out forever. So I think it happened when it was supposed to.
David Ralph [42:25]
But let’s play some words. Now, as we’re getting near the end of the show. And these are the words that we play every single episode, and I’m gonna listen to him again,
Steve Jobs [42:34]
Steve Jobs. Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny life, karma, whatever. Because believing Given that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [43:10]
So only words, I think they are words that you would go Yeah, their bare truth I buy into those totally.
Ron Stelle [43:18]
Absolutely. He just said pretty much what I’m trying to say. Perfect.
David Ralph [43:23]
And when you look back at your life, do you have a moment as we called on the show a big dot? Where you can go? Yes, that’s when it all come together. Would it be as simple as saying your wife Sandy prompting you or could we go to a different time?
Ron Stelle [43:40]
No, it would definitely at the where I’m at now. She prompted me. But after the first chapter, and I looked at what I just done. And it was so easy for me. That was an epiphany. I said, Oh my god, I can do this. I actually can do this. And like I said, said it. I can’t turn it off. I write every single day in one book or another. And I do. Yeah, it’s Wow, this only happened years ago, but it wasn’t time. So he said it clearly I had no way of knowing where all the experiences that I had. That’s the other thing being in the Navy, I went everywhere in the world many times. So a lot of my books are written about places that I’ve actually been to and have that inside dope on and some of the experiences to the characters in the book are exactly what happened to me. So I think that I would never have been the kind of writer I am now had I not had the experiences in life that I had, that allow me to take that and turn it into a character’s life.
David Ralph [44:47]
So other than be obviously the time travelling boy going into the future, which I’m waiting for that to be delivered now. How many sorts of ideas and books have you got on in on the At the moment
Ron Stelle [45:03]
I’m writing two different books at the same time while I’m finishing one first because the publisher wants it and but I, I’ll start, I will start the first chapter of any idea that I have instead of the side till I have time to go back to it. So I’ll have anywhere from two or three at any given time, and you just made another one. Thank you very much. And
Unknown Speaker [45:26]
so yeah,
Ron Stelle [45:29]
I don’t, it’s I sit down and it’s, this is how it works for me. I sit down to the tablet, I bring up the pages, I put my fingers on the keyboard, and then somebody in my head starts dictating to me. It just starts coming out. I mean, I may have a glimmer of what I want to start the first sentence with, but before I know it, I’ll have four pages written. And I have no idea how that happened because I didn’t think of any of it in advance. That’s why I call it a gift. I do no research, I did none of these things. All I did was sit down and the story came out of me. So I think that all writers can relate to that, that they, unless they’re dogmatic by the book writers and make an outline and do all this, which I can’t do, then folks like me are by the cuff. I just think that’s a that’s a personality type. And I think many writers do the same thing that I do. I don’t know that because I don’t have a lot of conversations with other writers about how your ideas happen. But I think there’s a show coming up or I’m going to be on a panel. I’m going to ask that question, because I think that’s interesting.
David Ralph [46:41]
And do you know where your story’s gonna end up? Or do you just start writing?
Ron Stelle [46:46]
I didn’t know the into extreme options where I was going to end that until about 40 pages from the end. I just said, I want to end this in Las Vegas. How do I want that to happen, wondering how they’re going to get there. What’s going to Be the impetus what’s going to happen when they get there. And then I’ll have little snippets of what could happen in the end, it’s almost going off like neurons firing, you know, like a little lightning charge comes up, you’re going to have this another one over there, another one over there. And then they’ll go gather in the corner of my brain and sit until I bring them out. But I my writing styles like driving a car at night across country. For let’s say, in the States, I would start in New York and then drive to Los Angeles. But on the way I drive at night, I only see as far as the headlights to you. So I’m writing as far as the headlights take me knowing I’m going to get to the other side. But not knowing exactly when or or how that’s going to happen. I can’t
David Ralph [47:41]
wait for these to be turned into films and stuff. I think it’s when you get to that point that you’re literally operating in a state of flow. The quality is so much better, isn’t it?
Ron Stelle [47:52]
It is it is. I learned all of the writing rules, you know, grammar, syntax, counting Everything through through time and editing the editing monster teaches you a lot. Ask anyone who wrote a book on they got their first 3000 edit. It’s wow it but it does teach you the you know a little simple trick you never use the same word twice in a paragraph unless it’s like the or so or it or I. But if you said something was dynamic, you can’t say dynamic in the same paragraph, you have to change it to, you know, fantastical. People don’t think of that when they’re reading. But that’s the rule. You don’t use the same word in a sentence twice. If it’s if it’s denoting a character or something important things like that you learn along the way that I wouldn’t have known without having the books be at it. So there is proper, you do have to get down in the trenches and do the homework as it were.
David Ralph [48:49]
But the more you get down in the trenches, you want to stay down there. That’s the thing, isn’t it? When you find that you want to get better and better and better at it.
Ron Stelle [48:58]
My goal is of course, to send Problem is unfinished manuscript to the, to the editor and have come back with, you know, I can’t find much wrong with it maybe six or seven things, that doesn’t happen. Because the editors job is to find every little thing and then that as long as flow of story or I don’t think the cut, they’re going to understand what this means. You have the final say so. And the interesting thing about being old and I know we’re getting to the end here is that what I consider most all people to know about if I’m referencing something from the 60s or 70s, many people have no idea what that is. Yeah. You know, if you’re using the language that was used in the time, like if I go far out man, from answering one of my characters talking to somebody else, somebody who didn’t live them will look at it and go What? So that’s what an editor does. They try to make you use verbiage that everyone would understand and it’s up to you if you want to use it or not,
David Ralph [49:49]
which is the same in podcasting. You know, you said something about Leave it to Beaver or something. I’d never heard of that. So I’ve got to sort of Google there and you’ve got to be very aware of different colloquialisms. I suppose but only operate on certain areas. You know I say things where I live 10 miles down the road I use totally different words. It’s amazing
Ron Stelle [50:10]
isn’t it? We have the same language but very different meaning Leave it to Beaver was a show in the 50s and 60s about growing up in a perfect ideal neighbourhood. You know where everybody at the table together there was never any harsh words. You know, the worst thing that happened is you you you’ve written the law more or ran over this the flowerbed so yeah. I I’ve been in Europe many times through the Navy and I seen the different cultures there. And it is fascinating to me how human race can grow up in different areas and be so different and as you can tell radically different in certain areas. So, but uh, the bottom line is that I don’t care where we live or what our social norms are or language. We’re all still human beings with a soul that that have aspirations and needs to be expressed. And I’ll tell you right now, people who don’t go out there and go for it, that you’re right, they they become member, the old folks that are kind of bitter, they just not happy about anything. They never gave it a go. If you give it a go, and it doesn’t work, so it didn’t work, you gave it a go, at least you can say I try. It’s the people who say I didn’t even try to have the most regret.
David Ralph [51:25]
That is the ending of the show, I think. But of course, before we say goodbye to you, we’ve been building up to this bit. And this is our own personal time travel when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Ron, what advice would you choose and what age would you pick as well? Well, we’re gonna find out because I’m going to play the theme and when it fades you up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [51:55]
Go with the best bit of the show.
Ron Stelle [52:13]
Hey there, Ronnie. How you doing? Guess what? One of your comic books just came true. I’m you in the future. And I have a couple things I want to say to you. You know you’re doing the right thing. You’re sitting here you’re taking all this information in you love your superheroes you love your action shows. What I want to say to you is, don’t let anybody tell you you can’t. Because you can. There’s nothing that you can’t do. If you put your mind to it. I want you to think about maybe picking up a pen someday and maybe write your own comic book, see how that goes for you. And I want you to know that you’re going to have some tough times, but you’re going to take care of it. You’re going to stand up and do it. You’re going to be a good man. I want you to not be afraid of anything to know that you have a future That is wonderful. And to stay confident during the hard times, because I love you. Your family loves you. And you’re going to do great. Just make sure that you don’t let anybody tell you know, stand up for yourself, be a good person, help others. Be a kind person and go out and do great things. I love you,
David Ralph [53:22]
Ron, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Ron Stelle [53:27]
I have a I have a domain Ron stealth comm where that gives links to all my books and videos and such
David Ralph [53:34]
we have over links in the show notes. Ron, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our pasts is the best way to build our futures. Mr. Juan stell. Thank you so much.
Ron Stelle [53:51]
Thank you very much. It was a pleasure. I enjoyed it greatly.
David Ralph [53:56]
So another guy who believes that every one of us has a talent. It may not be fully realised at the beginning, it might just be an idea an inkling, but by persistence and performance and just just working at it, little by little you get there and God forbid I earn my living doing this. And who would have thought that two years ago? Well, actually I did. And so throw a bit of belief in it as well. And you really will be cooking on gas. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to connect with us in Facebook, or on Twitter, or just send us an email, if you need any help at all, about that idea that’s going around your head, drop us a line, we’d love to hear from you. And we will do our best to respond. Look after yourself. Cheers. Bye bye.
Outro [54:41]
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life, head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and when We’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.
