Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Ariana Ayu
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Introducing Ariana Ayu
Todays guest, joining us on the Join Up Dots free podcast interview is Ariana Ayu.
She is a lady who was destined to live a life of helping people since starting her first business (a holistic wellness center) in 2000.
Then getting her first professional job (corporate finance) in 2001.
I would guess that we can track this side of her character to an even earlier age too.
As since entering the medical profession she has always had the drive not just to get the best out of people physically, by using normal medical means, but also by inspiring greatness with alternative medicine and positive reinforcement.
How The Dots Joined Up For Ariana
And as we see time and time again, its the mental well-being that really pushes people through the gears, and helps them achieve the life that they deserve.
And now as a firm believer and creator of “The Magic Of Mojo” and “Bodacious Branding” she is taking this ability to interact, engage and inspire into the business word across the globe.
So how did this Ariana Ayu grow up in Washington DC, but then end up obtaining a masters in Edinburgh Scotland?
And what made her leave the medical profession and head into the corporate world?
And are people surprised when during corporate presentations she suddenly bursts into song to entertain the audience?
Well lets find as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs in todays Free podcast, with The National Association of Professional Women’s Woman of the Year the one and only Ariana Ayu.
During the show we discussed with Ariana Ayu such weighty topics as:
How when she was young she dreamt to be a rockstar or on Broadway, and funnily enough her path led her to a place that she uses all the same talents she would have been displaying everyday in her dream anyway!
How the leap of faith doesn’t have to be a leap, it can be a gradual slide over a long period of time…its up to you!
How playing is the key to life, and when you play and get in the zone you are tapping into the very reasons you have been put on Earth!
How when you look back and think of all the things that you feel you should have done, all you end up doing is “shoulding all over yourself”
How we discovered that our listeners like to get soapy and wet whilst listening to the show…at least I hope they do!
How To Connect With Ariana Ayu
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transcription Of Ariana Ayu
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:27]
Yes, hello, bear Episode 139. of Join Up Dots. If I sound all Uber enthusiastic and positive, he’s just because as I always try to tell you, if I’m not feeling 100%, I’m not actually feeling 100% today, but that’s not going to stop me because I’ve got a lady on the line, who is a medical guru, she’s gonna reach out over Skype and massage me back to full fitness. I know she’s going to do a good job on that. And she was destined to live a life of helping people since getting our first job as a nurse way back in 2008. And I would guess that we can try this side of a character to an even earlier age to as since entering the medical profession, she’s always had to drive not just to get the best out of people physically, by using normal medical means, but also by inspiring greatness with alternative medicine, and positive reinforcement. And as we see time and time again, it’s the mental well being that really pushes people through the gears and helps them achieve the life that they deserve. And now as a firm believer, and creator of the magic of Mojo and bodacious branding, she’s taking this ability to interact, engage and inspire into the business world across the globe. So how did this lady grow up in Washington, DC, but then end up obtaining a master’s in Edinburgh, Scotland? And what made her leave the medical profession and head into the corporate world anyway? And are people surprised when during corporate presentations she suddenly burst into song to entertain the audience? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start Join Up Dots, the National Association of Professional women’s women of the year, the one and only Ariana Ayu. How are you, Ariana?
Ariana Ayu [2:00]
I’m great. David, thank you so much for having me here.
David Ralph [2:03]
You lie. You’re not great. You’re not feeling well, either. You said that to me earlier.
Ariana Ayu [2:08]
Well, that’s true. But hearing anytime I hear a British voice, it makes me happy. So that always helps amp up the the feeling good, a little bit more.
David Ralph [2:17]
He’s a funny thing about absence, isn’t it? Because I’ve got this kind of thing. But the English accent is a bit drab, really. But the Americans Wow, that’s kind of sexy and glam all the way. And whenever I speak to like the Americans, they always say they kind of think that we’re like James Bond. And we’re exotic and sort of dramatic in our character. And it’s just the voice isn’t it? But it does. The English voice does appeal to the Americans in the same way as when I hear the Americans talk. I think of like Hollywood and glamour and glitz and all that kind of stuff.
Ariana Ayu [2:46]
Absolutely. Well, and it always sounds so sophisticated. The British accent well, English specifically is always sounds very sophisticated. And you know, so that is funny because when I went to Edinburgh, I was really shocked to hear people like the American accent because I we thought it was all were those loud Americans, you know?
David Ralph [3:04]
Well, you all kind of loud on you. And I think I think that’s what we like about it. Because the English are very much we like to celebrate the underdog. And if you’re watching a sporting event, you always go with the one that isn’t going to win. But the Americans they generally like the champions don’t like they like the big approach. They like the kind of way and wall and all that kind of stuff and the whoops and the hollers which we don’t do we just kind of clap quietly. So it’s good, isn’t it? Isn’t it good to be big and positive instead of like us UK guys, and just kind of slink around quietly?
Ariana Ayu [3:39]
Well, I don’t know. I think I think we’d like a good a good underdog storey just as well. So I don’t know, I think there’s room for both. And there are times I’ve worked with a lot of British people who have kind of more reticence to self promote. I think that’s that’s a big difference. Because between Americans and Americans and British, I’ve found a lot with my English friends. And then my Scottish friends who don’t really care too much. So
Unknown Speaker [4:14]
David Ralph [4:15]
the Scots just get on with it. And they they live their life in the kind of happy bliss really out there and is and if you come down to the UK, the English side, we’re all kind of I don’t know more kind of het up and stressed and whenever I’ve been up to Scotland and especially Edinburgh where you you was at university, it is it just kind of a free, happy vibe out there. Even though the weather’s awful, it’s out there, it’s freezing cold, it rains all the time. Even when you embed you get wet in it. But I’m like they love it. And I just got
Ariana Ayu [4:47]
Well, that’s because they spend all their time in the pubs. I mean, you don’t have to worry about anything. If you’re spending your day in the pub.
David Ralph [4:53]
I tell you what, you should spend some time with making me past that now. Now I have to lines of long ago and I’m anyone’s it is just kind of kills me. I can’t do it like I used to. But But let’s go back in mind, because that’s what this show is all about joining up the dots of your life. And you did you started off in Washington DC as a as a young American, and you ended up coming kind of full circle. So how did that start? Can you remember the first time when you was a little girl? And you thought Yes, I really fancy doing some job that’s kind of nurturing or in the medical profession? Or was it something that just kind of stumbled into?
Unknown Speaker [5:36]
Well, I think
Ariana Ayu [5:39]
I think I always knew that I enjoyed helping people. I’m the oldest of three girls and my family. So you know, that sort of big sister role has always come very, very easily to me. If you’d asked me when I was younger, I wanted to be a rock star. That was my, that was my dream, dream all through growing up until maybe like 12 1314 that I wanted to be a Broadway star. So I actually did my, my original. My original plan was I was going to school and I was going to be I was going to do something in music and music in international relations, I kind of wanted to do both of those. But for some reason, most schools don’t that or if they’re good in one, they’re not good in both. So it was it was a bit of a shift. If I would say that, where I really got my start with helping people professionally, I started my first business actually in 2001. And before I became a nurse, the nursing came sort of way later, but I had a holistic Wellness Centre. And I worked with people a lot of body mind spirit sort of work. And what came out of that was I ended up helping people find their life purpose. And it was something that I just did naturally. But I didn’t really I didn’t really understand that that’s what I was going into. I’ve always been somebody who does things very intuitively. So I’ve sort of followed my heart and said, Okay, this is the next thing that I need to do right now. And so I don’t know that I would have been able to see it from back then. But I love your concept of connecting the dots. Because when I look back, it’s easy to say, Okay, this is how all the dots Connect.
David Ralph [7:25]
And it is a truth is a true through every conversation that I’ve had. But you can look because I you know, I’ve only just met you tonight. But I’m looking at the picture of you on Skype. And I can imagine you on Broadway, you just look like one of those people that would be getting out there and booming out. I am what I am. And all these kind of show tunes and stuff, you just kind of see it seem like that. And the fact that you wanted to be a rock star, and now you are sort of a professional corporate presenter that bursts into song doing. He’s not a million miles away from that is it really
Ariana Ayu [8:01]
it’s not really and I don’t I don’t do a lot of bursting into song in the middle of while I’m working. But I’ve definitely found a way to keep that part of myself active. And it is kind of funny, it’s I have known people that burst into song, you know, just randomly everywhere. And I’m a little bit more self contained than that now, but but you’re right, it’s not that far off. It’s still, you know, showing up and doing something in a big way. And I think that’s the the really big theme for me, is you know, it’s about being out front and inspiring people and helping them to feel things because that’s what music does for us. You know, you hear a piece of music and it instantly brings you back to your first heartbreak. Or I heard a song on the radio the other day, and it was the song that I had with my first boyfriend. It was our song and we dated probably for two weeks, weeks. And so for me, I think that was the big thing about music is is that it it helps you to feel. And we can feel anything, even if it’s something we’ve never felt before you know, somebody that’s young. Here’s a love song, they get to start to feel what that could be about. And it just opens us to so many possibilities.
David Ralph [9:15]
I wouldn’t think that I if I was with somebody for two weeks, I don’t think I’ve got enough time to get a song. You must have been really kind of needy or something. I don’t know, how did that work in two weeks, you got a song?
Ariana Ayu [9:30]
Well, we date very differently here in the US and you guys do in the UK. I met a lot of kids that were in their 20s when I was in graduate school that said they never dated people. So here when I was growing up, at least that’s probably changed now. But I mean, we had, you know, everything is so overly dramatic when you’re, you know, 14 years old. And so there was always you know, we’d sit and listen, talk on the phone and listen to music or
I don’t know, there was a lot of sitting talking on the phone, I think who was most of our early dating. But you know, we it was enough that we called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. So that was the whole that was sort of that was the way that everyone seemed to date when I grew up, or at least everybody that was in my circle of friends.
David Ralph [10:20]
You kind of say that you’re going out with someone but you never go anywhere. Which is exactly that is that weird kind of almost? How are these two people linked? I’ve never actually seen them together or talk to each other. But apparently their boyfriend and girlfriend is all mysterious.
Ariana Ayu [10:37]
So I think that’s it? Well, I think it’s that whole thing about searching for your identity. And so it’s a way that you can identify yourself. When you’re a teenager, you kind of look to who can you Who do you want to identify with. And so I think there was certainly a lot of that with, you know, best friend. And so this person is your best friend. And you can identify with that or this person is your boyfriend, he if it’s for a week, and then you can identify with that. And it gives you that identity of I’m somebody that people want or that some that people like and so i think i think there’s so much of that. That’s exactly like you said, it’s not there’s no action to it. There’s maybe not even too many dates, but it’s but you’re together so you can identify as you know, being together. Even if you’re actually not,
David Ralph [11:24]
did you think it’s more important for girls actually growing up, I’m surrounded by girls in my house, I’ve got four daughters and a son. And the son just kind of floats through life, as long as he’s got his Xbox. And he doesn’t get bothered. He just always just like a lovable dog in the house. There was a noise there, I just heard. But the girls are very much more highly strung and they’re constantly just focusing in on things that I kind of go, it doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter. And as you say it’s all kind of dramas all the time. Do you do you think it is more important when you are younger? To have that kind of praise or from somebody else as a girl, but there’s a boy or somebody that likes you? Is it is it more important man, I don’t remember ever caring one way or the other. If somebody liked me when I was growing up?
Ariana Ayu [12:17]
I think it might be that it is that it is more of a girl thing, especially as you’re growing up. Although I will confess that I’ve been married for about three years now. And I’m finally starting to understand men better so. So I can’t claim to know exactly what would motivate guys when they’re younger. But I know for girls, there is that. I think it’s because our brains work differently. I read a study, and I heard somebody speaking who did a lot of neurological studies and neuro behavioural and that sort of thing. And they said that women’s brains are wired differently than men that were more trained and wired to pick up errors. And so I think that there’s got to be something with whether it’s the the chemicals and the hormones, or whether it’s just the way that we’re wired as a gross generalisation, of course, but I do think that, that we, we women tend to analyse things more. And then when you’re a teenager, and you’ve got all those new hormones and feelings, and you’re trying to figure out who you are and identify, identify what makes you you. You know, I think I kind of think it’s a bit of a recipe for disaster. So I’m really glad I’m past set stage.
David Ralph [13:35]
Yeah, I’ll tell you what, I couldn’t go back and date again, I, I wouldn’t know how to do it, I think one of the things I wouldn’t want to do is actually listen to their storeys, you know, when you first meet someone, and you’ve got to listen to them all the time. And then once you sort of in a relationship, and you’ve known them for a while, you kind of you know that stuff already. So you don’t have to go through it. And then you just kind of exist in these, these kind of little bubbles. And occasionally you bounce on to each other. And you go off in your own way. And it’s just kind of nice being in a relationship. I’ve been with my wife for 2530 years or something. And you can just go into a club, and you don’t have to ask what she wants to drink. For example, she just goes and sits down and you go off and get a drink and you bring it back. I like that I like all that kind of not having to make effort, I suppose.
Ariana Ayu [14:20]
That’s interesting. I think my husband is very similar to that. I think actually. And I think for me, I really love to hear people’s storeys, I love to hear what makes people tick. And what is it that, you know, that got someone where they were, but I understand also the value of you know, you don’t want to have to do that much work all the time. 24 seven, when you’re with somebody. So it’s interesting. And it’s interesting to me that you say that too, because you’ve built this whole podcast and this whole brand around listening to other people’s storeys. So I think that’s kind of a funny.
That’s a funny sort of contrast to me.
David Ralph [14:59]
It doesn’t make sense. They think of a bit like Batman, I turn on the mic. And this is a persona that I create for myself. And when when I’ve turned off the mic, I kind of go, actually, I’m not really interested for a while or what, leave me alone until I press record. It’s almost I suppose, is it worth saying if it’s not being recorded, and I know that’s a kind of real strange thing to say, but it’s it, there’s a you must find this when you’re doing anything in your sort of corporate world, you build up a larger self than you normally have. And then it’s a bigger version of you. And it’s kind of exhausting. So when you you’re not being Arianna, the corporate coach and all that kind of stuff. You just kind of I don’t know, you slope around a little bit more. Do you find that? Because I certainly do.
Ariana Ayu [15:47]
I yeah, I could see I can see what you mean with that I do a lot of work to for myself personally, and then with my clients to help them to be able to kind of be consistent throughout your platform so that it’s not so exhausting, because I used to feel the same way when I would go somewhere and do an event and there’s some, there’s some level of it that is just can be physically exhausting when you go and if you’re out. But if I’m working, if I’m doing a tentative with, that’s, that’s a lot of energy that that requires of me to do that, and to be able to be on the top of my game at all the time. But then I think where I look at that, you know, as far as if I’m out and I’m doing things, I like to try to bring as much balance as I can into that, you know, making sure I’m getting enough sleep and eating good foods and things like that, because I tried to. For me, when I when I used to, when I used to go out if I was working for four days with a client, it would be so exhausting that it might take me a week to recover maybe even longer. And so I like to sort of arrange it now where I’m getting enough sleep during those times, I’m not over exerting and over giving and over delivering. So that I can be much more even as opposed to the sort of roller coaster of ups and downs. But I think there’s definitely a part when you go out and you get up on stage or you going you’re leading a group of people in any way. It does, it requires more energy from you. So I think No, no, I think it’s about for me, I was trying to smooth out those those ups and downs so that it’s a little bit more even keel.
David Ralph [17:35]
So what you’re saying is you’re consistent. You’ve made your energy levels consistent, but what you need to do, Hmm,
Ariana Ayu [17:43]
yeah, and I’m not perfect at it by by any stretch of the imagination. But that’s always my goal is to make it as consistent as possible so that I don’t have, you know, a week that I have to recover, or because if you have to recover a week from working with clients, it makes it really difficult got to do anything else.
David Ralph [18:02]
Well, I suppose that sort of comes into what you’re creating, you know, Mojo, isn’t it is that that, that internal spirit that makes you perform to a higher level. And that’s where, you know, if you lose your mojo, I’ve said this a lot of times, because in my last job, I lost my mojo. And I just wasn’t myself. And I started to it wasn’t that I didn’t care, I didn’t care. But I couldn’t couldn’t raise my game enough to perform as I used to perform. And I just kind of felt myself drifting away somewhat. And by being consistent and balancing your energies, you do sort of like you, you start worrying that the spoon around the Mojo part, and suddenly some kind of chemical happens. And you do inspire yourself, or I believe that that’s the case, do you do you feel that same?
Ariana Ayu [18:52]
Absolutely. I think, and I love what you said, about inspiring yourself, because I think a lot of people think that inspiration has to come from outside of you. But really, what I found is ourselves, the more that inspiration can come from within, and then it’s so much more juicy and vibrant and fun. Because you’re really creating out of out of authenticity, you know, it’s not, you’re not trying to make something out of something that’s external, you’re taking what you’ve got, and you’re making something with that. So to me, it’s so much more rewarding, and it does help you to stay consistent. And to really maintain, you know, it’s not about just tapping into something once and saying, Okay, I’ve got this, this is the secret sauce and the magic recipe and, and I’m going to go right from here, and, and create this big thing. Well, you know, that’s great, but then what happens two months down the road, you need to be able to get into it again. And if you spend all of your energy with this first little piece, when you get that inspiration, you don’t, you can’t sustain that. And I really think that when we can create that balance and the consistency, and really have it where we can just tap in whenever we need it, it’s so much easier, and it doesn’t require as much, you know, as much recovery time, or as much downtime, or, you know, even in between time,
David Ralph [20:22]
I believe that totally and it’s almost, and we have this conversation literally every day, it’s almost when you are playing, and you are just being your natural self, and you’re totally in the zone, and people pay you and they pay you really well and you kind of go, Oh, I don’t really think I deserve this. Because really, I’m having too good a time and work. And really, I just keep my head down until somebody says Hang on, I just realise what we’re paying you. But once you are in that zone, you are playing to your strengths. And what you find easy, is actually providing great you value to everybody else, you’ve just got to find nothing that you do that other people can’t do as well. And that is as we say, being your authentic self. And for all the listeners out there. That is one of the key problems, isn’t it. But so in the rat race, there’s so in the day to day, but they don’t give themselves a chance to actually find out what their authentic self is because they’ve almost been brainwashed from the early days, or going to school, do your homework, go to school, you got two weeks off, and then you’ve got homework during that. And then you go off to work and you got universe and it’s just that constant aiming for something. So So how do they do that? How do they find their authentic self when they are trapped in their day to day hustle over time?
Ariana Ayu [21:42]
Well, I think you said one of the key words just a little just a few minutes ago, and that’s play. What I found over and over and over again, is that when we start to play, again, like really play and do things that we enjoy, and that are fun, it helps us to tap into our Mojo, it helps get us there. And it’s about that creativity and being able to do things for the fun of it and the joy of it, we we are sort of conditioned, as you said to put our heads down. And we’re told that this is how you succeed in life, you work hard, you, you know, you find a job, you stay there for a long time, you tow the party line, and it doesn’t make most of us happy at all. And then some people work really well with that kind of structure. And they find something that suits them, whether they stumble into it, or they just got lucky, you know, but for the people that are, you know, you’re going through that day to day life is sort of a drudgery, and you can’t, you don’t know how to get out of it, the first thing to do really is just to remember how to play and how to have fun. Because when we’re children, and we played and we would create things with our mind, you know, you know, it’s all the kids that you see playing with the box, and the box becomes a spaceship and you know, all of these different kinds of things that we do our our energy is so fluid, and we’re able to, to move and to create. Because whether you’re creating a game, like make believe play type game, or you’re creating a business, it’s the same energy, it’s the same place within you that we have to tap into. It’s just that as we get older, we’re told that that’s for children. So we kind of turn that off. And when you know how to turn that I think of it as sort of like a faucet, you can turn it on it will. And if you turn it on, and you get into that creative flow, you get into your mojo, and you have that creativity in that play, and that fun moving through your life, it’s amazing the kind of things that will happen. Because Because you’re in the flow, because you’re you’re allowing and you’re, you’re in a much more receptive place, as opposed to trying to force things to happen. Because that’s the way that you believe they should be. Or that’s what you’ve taught, what you were taught that they were supposed to be. When you’re in the flow, there’s so much more space for the unexpected. You know, that’s why we all get our greatest ideas, when we’re in the shower or, you know, someplace that we’re, we’re kind of indisposed because we’re not thinking so hard. And we’re not trying to force you know, our work, whatever it is, we’re not trying to force it into sort of the little boxes that were told it should be in
David Ralph [24:35]
these amazing though, isn’t it that we do all have our greatest ideas in the shower. And we basically go in there to wash ourselves, if you could create some kind of business environment with hot water flooding over you all the time. Because I was speaking to a chap the other day, and he has got a net, this blew my mind, I still don’t know why he’s not kidding himself, because there must be some electricity involved in his. He’s got a blog band, sort of Wi Fi showerhead, that he can shower, and tune into podcasts, or radio or whatever, and so that he’s actually developing himself at the same time. And he says, he doesn’t have a single moment in his life, that he’s not developing himself, even when he’s on the toilet. He’s doing something, you know, he says, you know, you’ve got to go into the toilet to do certain things, I suppose. But whilst you’re doing those certain things, why don’t I listen to Seth Godin, or somebody else sort of, you know, motivational, inspirational, and all that kind of stuff. And he was saying, Yeah, he’s literally creating these whole business in the shower, just because of those moments when you’re in there, and you’re not really thinking what you’re doing and putting that idea comes into your head. And the trouble with that, though, is they’re always the most amazing ideas. And then once you tell yourself off, and you sort of get to it, you realise that they probably weren’t as good as you first fall. But still, it’s those moments as you say, you’re in the flow on you, you’re in the flow, and you’re just letting yourself go. That’s when life does become easy. I find this fascinating, and I love these kinds of conversations. Because with you, you did go to work, you worked hard, and you was in a profession. But you know, it’s not easy in any shape, or form. I know a few nurses, and they really slug it big time. And now well,
Ariana Ayu [26:18]
and I have to Oh, sorry. To jump in. I actually was in finance for many years before nursing. Nursing was sort of a that came up out of the Wellness Centre, but I worked in, I worked in a corporate consulting business I did all of I was a CFO. And then after that I worked as a personal financial advisor. So if you want to talk, strenuous. And I did all of those while I was building my first business. So that’s even
I think, in many ways worse, but
David Ralph [26:54]
but maybe just in a different way. Did you at that time know that it wasn’t your thing? When you say very strenuous and worse what so why were you doing it?
Ariana Ayu [27:04]
Well, so I graduated from undergraduate in 2001. And I took a job in, in, in a business corporate business. And while I was doing that, I took that job because I wanted to learn more about finance and how to manage it and run it and which is the same. I’ve done a lot of things, most of the jobs that I’ve had working for somebody else have been because I wanted to learn something that I knew I would only get in those experiences. So I was when I graduated. Well, even before I graduated from my undergraduate, I had started my what would become the holistic Wellness Centre. And back then there was not all this talk about venture capital, or if there was I never heard about it. So what I was talking about with business was that, you know, you invest your own funds. And so it that means that you work two jobs, and you’re working 6080 hours a week, that’s what it takes. And so I every job I’ve ever taken with somebody else I’ve taken, typically because I wanted to learn something, or I had goals that I knew that that would accomplish, but I’ve never been really good at following other people’s rules. So I kind of knew from the beginning that, you know, I could try to work for somebody else. But it was not the best personality match for me.
David Ralph [28:33]
I’ve always been told I’m a maverick, or I’ve got an attitude to authority, and I happen. I just don’t like authority.
Ariana Ayu [28:41]
Yes, exactly. Well, I always figure why should I do it something? Somebody else’s will way if I can find a way that’s more efficient.
David Ralph [28:50]
We were the same. We were the same. You’re just me wearing a dress? We’re Exactly. Although you don’t know if I’m wearing a dress at the moment, I suppose.
Ariana Ayu [29:01]
Well, I do have my satellite spy cams over the UK keeping watching my family, I could, you know, tip that over and take a look. And that’s funny. But yeah, yeah, I think we rebels always find each other. Because it’s much more fun to break the rules, if you’ve got somebody else cheering you on.
David Ralph [29:25]
He’s a funny thing, though. You know, in corporate land, they take you on to do a job. And they take you on to do a job as well as they’re paying you. But in many ways I used to find, they would then tie my hands down. And I used to go look, this is stupid. Why are we doing best best best? Why don’t we just go this do this? And they used to say, well, that’s how we’ve always done it. And I used to go, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. Just because you’ve always done it. Just because some turtle 20 years ago decided that they wanted to slow everything down. Why can’t we you know, no, cover? Oh, no, no, you don’t know the ramifications, it may have a knock on effect to another department. Well, let’s go and talk to the other department then and see, you know, and nobody did, they just kinda to what people had always done. Madness.
Ariana Ayu [30:16]
Exactly. And that’s what makes to me, having the mindset like you had with, hey, let’s do this a different way we can make it better, faster, smarter, easier, whatever it is, to me, that’s, that’s the kind of employee that you want. You want somebody who’s going to look at what you’re doing and say, Hey, you know what, we can make this better, we can make it easier, and we can save you money. And that’s why I started getting into working the doing the corporate culture development, because I found that same thing, especially when I was working as a nurse in the hospitals, you know, they would, they would always say, let’s have this open door policy. And if you find something that we can do better come and tell us and we’ll work on it. So you know, I would always be the one raising my hand saying, Hey, you know, your we’re looking for a way to make this more efficient. What if we do this? They say yes, that’s a great idea. And then not saying whatever happened, then you bring it up again? Yes, we love that idea. Nothing would ever happen. So watching that and seeing the kind of inefficiency. You know, it just it’s mind boggling. So being the the people person that I am, I started to think about that and look and say how can we? How can we make this better? Well, it requires communication, just like you said, You need to be able to go over and talk to the other department. And whether it’s different departments or, you know, the management level, and then the staff level, whatever it is, it’s really about finding ways to communicate, and bring people together. Because when you do that you can create things that are so much better. And who knows better than the people that are in the trenches. You know, if it’s a hospital, nobody knows better than the nurses What are going on. But those policies and the things that they know, don’t necessarily make it up to the management level, and so on. That, that’s why I’m a great consultant. Because I can go in and I can see and I can work with people. But I you know, I have to say as much as I always tried to be a great employee. People didn’t like having me as an employee, because I would make them question why they were doing what they had always done.
It sounds like exactly you did.
David Ralph [32:21]
Yeah, that that that is a key thing as well. But that’s why you are a great life coach. That’s why you’re changing people’s lives in a positive way. Because you’re able to ask those questions that get the people to actually think about themselves, even if they don’t want to. And once you start asking those questions, you know, I get so many times in these conversations that people say to me, I actually started to say, Why am I here? And you kind of think, wow, that’s that’s a really deep question. But when you think about that, that’s brilliant. Because that really says, you know, why am I here? What am I supposed to be giving to the earth? What am I supposed to be giving to the rest of the population? Being that really helps you find as we were saying, your authentic self and your unique path, isn’t it?
Ariana Ayu [33:07]
Absolutely. To me, that’s that’s the question. That’s the only question. And I think it’s one that I’ve asked myself ever since I was, well, as long as I can remember. And I find that when you do ask that question, and when you think about that, then it gives you it helps you understand what your values are. So even if you’re stuck in, you know, a corporate job that you hate, and feels like, there’s all of this sort of drudgery, every time you go to work, if you understand why you’re doing it, and you’ve got a reason for it, that that is powerful to you, then you can do anything, and you can do it with a good attitude. You know, it’s it’s about where your mind is when you go into something, you know, and that’s how I was able to get through doing all of those jobs that I hate it. I mean, being the finance person to me was the worst. It was so boring, and black and white. And there, there was great value and under standing that for me. And that’s what kept me doing it for as long as I did, because I understood where the value was, I understood not just why am I here in the huge, big sense of of my life. But I understood in each moment, why am I Why am I here in this job. That is not fun for me.
David Ralph [34:20]
I used to go into my office and there’s a there was a finance route. Is she still there, Melanie Pettitte Hello to you. And she’s a finance lady that I still keep in contact with. And I used to look at the spreadsheets over her shoulders. And I used to say, just change that digit to something and see if anyone spots and I’ll bet a net and just move that thing over. Nobody knows what’s happening on the spreadsheets, you could just make it up. And she used to say no, no, I’ve got to do it. Right. I’ve got to do it. Right. And that’s why I would have been the worst person for finance as well. I used to think, Oh, you know, if you save money on this area, they’re only going to spend it on some other areas. So just share it around with everyone. So with communism, that’s what I was bringing communism into the world. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. I’ve never thought of that. But yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do it be I’m gonna be a podcasting communist, and we’re going to share wealth with everyone. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna I’m gonna play, you know, speech now. And this is something that I love. And I’ve been bringing it onto the show, and this is Jim Carrey, tell me what you think about this, Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [35:22]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [35:48]
That’s what we’re saying, isn’t it?
Unknown Speaker [35:51]
That’s so beautiful. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker [35:54]
I love that. Have you heard that?
Ariana Ayu [35:58]
I haven’t actually, I and I love Jim Carrey. So I’m, I’m glad that you that you played that. I think that is it’s so brilliant. Because it is true, you can fail doing something that you hate. And you know, failure doesn’t make us feel good. A lot of great things come out of failure. But you know why? If you’re going to go for something, and if you’re going to, you know, take the risk of whatever it is, you may as well take a risk and do something that you’re excited about. And that has the potential to fulfil some greater purpose.
David Ralph [36:39]
Do you take risk every day now?
Ariana Ayu [36:42]
I think I do. I don’t know that everybody else would qualify them as risks. I’m not a bungee jumper, or anything like that. But I think that there are a lot of risks. to just show up in the world, I actually think it’s one of the riskiest things that we can do. And maybe it’s more for girls, because this kind of touches back to something you said earlier about, you know, girls and boys growing up. But I think it takes an incredible amount of courage to step out into the world and be who you are, and not apologise for it, and not worry about what everybody else is going to say. And, you know, for, for many of us, we do have that fear of censure of somebody saying, well, who are you to get up there and talk in front of all of us, what makes you think that you’re better than everybody else, you know, I have a lot of, I’ve had several English friends, who said, you know, they were kind of taught not to put themselves out there, don’t put yourself forward. And, to me, it’s really easy to be, you know, one of the sort of corporate clones or like the factory workers where you line up and you, you fit in you, you go and be the same as everybody else, you look the same, you talk the same you act, you walk the same, you do the same job. And I think what takes the most courage, what I found in my life takes most courage is actually stepping out and saying, you know what, I’m not the factory worker, I’m not the cog in the wheel, I have a unique gift that I’m here to bring to the world, and I’m going to be visible, and I’m going to show up, and I’m going to be who I am. You know, I’ve known so many people that I can’t even tell you, I mean, thousands upon thousands of people that I’ve met over the course of my lifetime, that when you give them a compliment, they say, Oh, no, well, you know, or, you know, you tell them you like their outfit, and they say, Oh, I got this in the bargain bin, you know, there’s always some sort of denial of the good things about them, I think. Yeah, I, you know, it’s, it’s so many people, and it’s, I’ve seen it a lot with a lot more with women. But I’ve known men who do this as well. And I think it’s that idea of not wanting to shine too brightly, or not wanting to stand out too much. Because, you know, people who, people who are in the spotlight get her people know about them, they say bad things, as humans were judgmental, you know, that’s how we, that’s how our brains work, we judge things and decide, you know, Sabre tooth tiger, or little kitten, it’s, it’s the way that our brains work. So because we have that built in, we think if I stand up there, I’m going to be judged. So for me, taking risks, is about doing things that scare myself, you know, that’s a big, you go, Oh, this is going to be scary. What if somebody says, you know, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not pretty enough. I’m not whatever, you know, stepping up anyway, and saying, you know, what, this is who I am. And I’m not going to apologise for it. And, you know, as my career has gotten bigger, and I’ve had more attention from, from media, from, you know, crowds of people getting up in front of them, you know, there are more opportunities to put yourself out there. And I always find the things that scare me the most are the ones that are going to have the most rewards when I actually step up and take a risk that, you know, is scary, that gives me butterflies in my stomach, I say, Okay, this is the next step. And I’m going to jump into it. And I don’t know how it’s going to go. You know, when I look at all of my dots, you know, backwards through time, every time that I’ve really stepped up and done something that was a little scary, a little challenging, that felt like a risk. It’s, it’s had rewards, even if it’s not been successful, you know, by stepping up and doing something that feels right to me. I’ve learned,
David Ralph [41:02]
I feel that I do agree, totally. And in my whole life, I’ve always been a public speaker. And you get to that point, and you probably find it you get to that point, but you still get those nerves, but you don’t even remember the big nerves, you had to kind of anticipation and dependent on house that the size of the crowd, or the length of the course or whatever you’re doing. You are scared, you’re still scared even though you’ve done it 100 times before. But you don’t remember that very first time when somebody says to you get up and say something and you think, Oh my god, I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Because you’ve overcome that. And you’ve just dependent a bit and you’ve developed a bit and you’ve developed a bit and what the problem is in the world today, and I’m sure the majority of the listeners who are sitting on the bus, on the train or whatever, or in the shower, but we might have a whole whole herd of people shouting at the moment. Wouldn’t it be amazing I
Ariana Ayu [42:00]
brings new meaning to imagine your audience in their underwear, doesn’t it?
David Ralph [42:03]
Absolutely. soapy listeners. That’s what we want Ariana,
Ariana Ayu [42:07]
and they’re good looking ones too. I can tell
David Ralph [42:11]
are gorgeous. Every single one of them are the kind of people that you would like to see all soapy. I’m sure. I’m sure there’s an attractive ones at all. That’s other podcasts, they get those ones. So So yeah, when you are progressing, you’re progressing, you’re progressing, you suddenly look back on yourself, you join those dots. And you kind of go, yeah, I can see where I’ve come from. And actually, I don’t think any of those were insurmountable. They weren’t things that were career changing. But they moved me on. And that’s what the people listening have to realise. The first step doesn’t have to be a leap. It can just be a slide, it can just be a little step, it can be something just to sort of test the waters. And once you’ve tested waters, generally you think, okay, that wasn’t so bad. And then you do another one, you do another one, you do another one. And the Branson’s and Donald Trump’s and the Ariane is always people have just done little things. But it leads up to something. And it’s the big things that we all see. And we go, that’s what I want. It’s easy for them. It’s okay, because they’ve got the talents, but they didn’t have it at the beginning. Totally different animals at the beginning.
Ariana Ayu [43:18]
Yeah, absolutely. And I think what you said about, you know, it can be a little step or just a slide is, that is the biggest piece because everybody, everybody that I’ve heard talk about motivation, you know, is this, you know, take a leap, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway, and go for it. And just, but the leaps are things that you don’t have to do every day, it’s the little steps that you have to take every day that really make the difference.
David Ralph [43:45]
Mine leap was a five year slide, it really was. And for the first three years, it was a kind of drag. And I was just like, pulling myself a long, kind of half wanting to do it now, but then didn’t have the guts. When the sort of the fourth year I started speeding up a bit. And by the fifth year, it wasn’t really a leap, to be honest, it was just I was ready for it. And away I went. And so yeah, it can be dramatic. You know, I know some people that would literally have gone, I hate my boss, I’m going bang, and I just saw a walk out. And that’s it is done in an instant. I was never leave and I wouldn’t recommend it. But now I’ve done it. Part of me actually kind of and I don’t want the listeners to go, this is what he’s saying. But kind of me, I think, actually, now I’ve done it. I think I could have done it that way as well. Because once you do burn your bridges, and once you do make that leap, you you hustle like a madman and you you get it going, don’t you you get it going. And you don’t know how you get it going, you try this and you contact that person, you speak to this person and you do this and you put a website up and and to begin with nobody notices at all. And when somebody sends you an email and you think Oh my God, I’ve been noticed, and then something else happens, and then the snowball gets going and you kind of think, actually, was that five year slide worth doing? Or could I have made it six months, probably could have done in six months, but it still wouldn’t have been a leap, it would have still been a kind of sleepy, slightly slight mints and a bit of a jump?
Ariana Ayu [45:17]
Well, and I wonder I was thinking if we could, if you could have done it in six months, then you would have you know that I think we have a we have such a tendency as humans to go back and, and have we have all those recriminations of I could have done this, I should have done this. And I heard years ago that when when you talk about all the things you should have done, you’re shooting all over yourself. And and I always love that, because, you know, there were reasons and and there’s value in it taking the five years that it takes. And I think there’s so much that we think we have to do it right away, because we saw somebody else did it right right away. But you know, the people, a lot of the people, at least who have done the thing where they just, you know, quit and walk out. And that’s it, they’re done. that’s been going on in their head for a long time beforehand. And so we have this idea that it was instant. But it really wasn’t. It’s the same thing. I do a lot of work with branding. And I always say a great brand is effortless, it just looks so clean, clean and easy. And it looks like it takes no work at all. But there’s so much work that goes on behind the scenes. And I think that’s the danger that we get into when we compare ourselves to other people is that we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. We don’t know how long it’s taken them to make up their mind to quit and walk out because that person who just you know, you know, tosses the keys to the office at the boss and heads out. They’ve thought about that they’ve rehearsed that mentally 100 times, you know, and if you think about any of the times that you’ve made a big decision or taken a big leap, there are the times that it happens just instantaneously, you get like that flash of inspiration and go but for the most part. We’ve thought about it we’ve fantasised about quitting our jobs. We’ve imagined what it would be like to do something else, even if we don’t know the reality of it. You know, I mean, lots of people fantasise about having their own business. And then they get into it go, Well, you know, I wanted a job where I could work less, and I’m working 100 hours a week for myself, and I hate the boss, the boss is so demanding. And it’s me. You know, so we think that we have these fantasies, and we have these ideas from watching other people. And we don’t know what’s behind the scenes, we don’t know how many times they, they thought about doing that, or how long it took them to actually make up their mind. And so I think there’s value whether it’s whether you can recognise that it’s a five year slide, or whether you think it was, you know, six months, whatever it was. There’s, there’s that process and that process is what helps us grow. You know, I think I connect the dots, I had no idea where it was going to be, I could not in a million years, have dreamed up the life that I have right now. It just was completely out of my comfort zone out of context of everything that I knew in life. And, you know, I got there because I put one foot in front of the other. And sometimes I sat down on the path.
David Ralph [48:33]
You know, I mean, you just, it’s about that determination to keep going. So why are you holding yourself back? Sorry to jump in? But do you think mentally at the beginning, you were holding yourself back? Because you couldn’t believe that you were going to be where you wanted to be?
Ariana Ayu [48:52]
I wouldn’t say just in the beginning, I think I think there are a billion different ways that that I have held myself back, I think, I think it’s something common to humanity. May everybody has it to some degree, my husband has it to hardly at all, I don’t know, it’s that Scottish, you know, they just get on and do what they need to do. And don’t worry about it. But you know, I think everything that I’ve overcome has been more of a mental challenge than anything else. Every single thing. So, you know, I think our mind is the only thing that is holding us back.
David Ralph [49:28]
I like that, because what you’re saying then is, if you think you can’t do something, then you can learn it. Really? And so if you go Oh, no, I don’t know how to build a website. No, no, I’m not that type of person. Rubbish. You can do that. And oh, I don’t know how to open a shop rubbish, you can do that. The only thing that you can’t do is control those negative thoughts in your mind, or yes, you can do it. But it is hard. And that’s the thing that people need to learn. First of all, you know, the, and now I’m doing this, I meet up with some of them. workmates and I kind of go Oh, we always knew you were gonna do this. And I kind of go, but what can you tell me even because it took me years. You know, if you knew so much about me, just let me in on the secret. But they kind of didn’t. And now I’m doing it. They all kind of go, yes, it was quite obvious, you know. And it’s funny how, when you’re starting anything, you have this vision, but everyone, as you’re saying will sent you or they will go on now it’s not going to be that easy, or you’re never do it or you’re still be sitting here in five years time. But once you get the ball rolling, you suddenly find supporters coming from all across the world. And most of them you never even met before. But you you you be and I’ve mentioned this numerous times, because I kind of like this image, but you become like a success vacuum. And more and more successful people get sucked into your world because they like what you’re doing, they’re inspired by what you’re doing. So they they come flying towards you. And then that makes it easier for you to keep going. And then you start collecting more people. And it’s not a surprise. I’m very ranting tonight, I don’t know, what’s the matter with me? It’s probably because I’m not well, I’m getting it out my system. I’m sweating a bit here. But um, you know, thousands and thousands of people. And I bet the majority of those people, you know, like having you around, because that’s why you know, so many people.
Ariana Ayu [51:21]
Yeah, I hope they like having me around. And, you know, if not, then I, you know, yeah, I’ll get over it. But, but yeah, I think we have such a great opportunity in our lifetimes with everything that’s going on, you know, with the internet and social media. And, you know, I’m not that old, I’m 36. But I remember growing up without a cell phone and without the Internet, and when you had to go to the library to find things. And now, it’s so easy, I have great friends around the world, I have this one woman who’s Well, she’s up in Cardiff. And I met her after I moved back to the states from being in the UK. And she’s fantastic. And I love her. And we’ve just connected. And we have that opportunity now. So I think it’s easier than it probably has ever been in the course of humanity to find those supporters to be that success vacuum. Because we’re not just dealing with our local tribe, or our local village or our local city, we have so many great opportunities. And I think that, you know, kind of like that idea of the success vacuum, it’s you know, it’s the, it’s the very, the very old, you know, law of attraction sort of principle of like, attracts like, you know, we want to be with people who are similar to us, and not that we surround ourselves with clones, but we want to be with people that we can have the conversations that matter. And I think that’s what I think that’s what you’re doing with the podcast is you’re having these conversations that matter that that we don’t necessarily think to have in our daily lives.
David Ralph [53:04]
It is strange, but we have got these opportunities globally. Now the fact that you’re sitting wherever you are, and I’m sitting where I am in my dress, and we’re having this conversation, and we’re both sort of connecting in a very deep, positive way, it blows my mind, really, because I don’t really have these conversations with my family, we just kind of, say, who’s in the toilet, how long you’re going to be. And that’s it, that’s what family life is all about. And so the fact that you can have these conversations, you can then record them, and then push them out. You know, it’s basically what I’ve done. And it’s not new, you know, millions of people, thousands of people have done this, you’ve created your own radio show, you go back 20 years ago, when as you were saying we had to go to libraries, you couldn’t do that. You just couldn’t, it was just like, if you want it to be in radio, you had to go to a radio station and get a job. But now you can literally in your head, go, what would I most like to do, and almost build the office around you. I’m actually getting spooked, just thinking about now, and I think about it all the time. But it is so amazing the possibilities that people have got, but still by kind of thing, I’m in this job, because it’s a job is a safe approach, no rubbish, you know, do the job. And if you love the job, brilliant, you know, do it as well as you possibly can. But if you don’t like the job, keep doing it. But in the evenings or before or lunch times, whatever the five years, people in my office will say, I used to sit there with my laptop on with headphones in working. And nobody really knew what I was working on. But the five years I was working on my exit plan. And I was like building things and structuring it. And then I used to go back to work. And then my our got a little bit longer and a little bit longer. Nobody really realised. And then I started thinking God, I’d rather be doing this been at work. And that’s when my slide I think, sped up, basically, when I suddenly realised my passion wasn’t earning the money, it was creating a future. And I think that’s when the leap of faith hit.
Ariana Ayu [55:09]
Mm hmm. Absolutely. Well, I think there’s so many people that, that have that. They have that understanding, but they’ve missed what what you said about your passion wasn’t earning the money. And so many people miss that piece that, you know, they think that the money, you know, money’s going to buy success and happiness and friends and all of that sort of thing. And I had when I worked as a personal financial advisor. So it’s helping other people to manage their money and that sort of thing. My bosses sort of knew that, that I was different from the rest of the employees to one time, one of them said to me, You know, I don’t know how to motivate you, because you’re not motivated by money the way everybody else’s. And I think when you have that, understanding, you realise that it’s not a about, it’s not about the money, per se, it’s about what the money brings you. It’s about time and freedom and the ability to do something that you love, then you can take the money piece out of it. And you can do something that you’re passionate about, you know, there’s so many causes, they’re out in the world and activities that you can, that we can all get involved in, whether it’s a charity that you want to support, or, you know, going out, and I don’t know, volunteering with children, there are these different things that we can do. But we’re so busy going, Oh, I hate my job, or I don’t like this, or, oh, I have to get up earlier than I want to, you know, we have all of that negative sort of junk running around in our head that we don’t think about, you know, hey, I could go out and I could spend two hours helping out at the animal shelter, whatever it is, and that would make me feel good, that would make me enjoy my life a little bit more. And it would bring it when you do something that gives you a purpose like that, it filters in through the rest of your life. So then all of a sudden, you’re going, you know, I really love to support this animal shelter, I can only get out there once a month, but maybe I can go to my bosses. And we can do something at work around this. And maybe it’s you know, one evening out of the year, two evenings out of the year that that the company will go because companies like to support those kind of things, you know, so we just we don’t think about how we can bring the things that we love into whatever system we’re already working. And we think that we have to, and some of us do have to you clearly had to quit your job and do this. And I clearly had to not work for other people and do what I’m doing. But you know, some people are good with working their jobs that that works for them, and they get to go home. And they get to detach and separate from work. But we don’t think about these other things pulling in the things that we’re passionate about, and that we love to do, and bringing them into our existing work world.
David Ralph [57:59]
Let’s be play the words of Steve Jobs, I normally play this a lot earlier. But I’d love this conversation. He kind of said the same thing. And it’s the theme of the whole show. But what he says, Let’s listen to him, he says it better than me, this is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [58:14]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, you have to trust in something, your gut destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [58:50]
And that’s what you’re saying, you know, you’re at work, and you’re doing a job that you don’t like, but you like helping animals. And so you do that one thing, and then that leads on to something else. And that leads on some details. But because you’re being positive, and you are actually not asking for acceptance, you’re actually taking control of your own wants and your desires, then that is what he’s saying, even if you’re off the beaten path, and you get these people and they they own a store in Mongolia or something and you think How the hell did that happen? But it’s because they’ve tried one thing, and I’ve tried another thing, and I’ve ended up in a place at the beginning, they couldn’t even perceive that they were going to be there. But still, it’s because you are taking control and you’re just doing stuff do you think?
Ariana Ayu [59:39]
Absolutely. And I love I love that that bit by Steve Jobs. The first time I heard that in your show, that was when it really connected what this was about, because I didn’t quite get the name that Join Up Dots. And then I listened to, you know, the first one of your shows that I listened to when I heard that. And I went, Wow, that is brilliant. And, and it’s I think, you know, I’m a big planner, I always have a plan and two or three backup plans. And that’s how my brain works, it helps me feel organised. And what I’ve always had that’s been better than the plan is the willing to willingness to abandon the plan When, when, when it is when it’s right to do so. And I think that’s that piece about not trying to connect the dots forward, you know, understanding that we can’t see clearly into the future. And being able to understand it when we go back. I think the only way we can do that, for me, I always call that following my heart, you know, it’s that, whether it’s following my heart or that gut knowing of this is the next step that I need to take. And this is what I need to take it when when I follow that, I know that the dots are going to join up. If I don’t follow that, I know that I’m going to have this you know, mess of yarn or string, as opposed to a nice, clean is an EV even if I can say that a nice clean even line. We’re all the dots connect in sequence.
David Ralph [1:01:12]
But you can’t have that, can you it’s got to be a squiggly life. And that’s what you’ve learned. And that’s what I’ve learned. And I can look back now and I can connect my dots. And as I say, it’s so obvious I should have been doing this. And I can almost go Yes, I was doing this. And I was doing that. And I was doing this and I was doing that. Oh my god, since I was eight, I was a podcaster. And I just couldn’t see at the time. But success always seems to be a straight line. But anyone who wants success, they just generally think that they do one thing and they do another thing and it hasn’t worked well go around it, go around that thing that doesn’t work, and make sure that doesn’t happen again. Or if it did work a part of it, take the bits that did work and move it into something else. And it’s that constant, isn’t it. And it when success becomes bigger than what you expected and more profitable. And you’re playing to your strengths and you’re providing value to the world. That’s when all the squiggly business suddenly straightens up and you go, uh, yeah, I can connect my dots, I can see that this is where I got there. While you’re doing it. Yeah, I got a clue. You really haven’t got a clue. But you’ve still. And if you’re just sitting there on the sofa every night with Netflix and your husband, Ben, you’re only going to have Netflix and your husband, you’ve got to actually shake things up and move things around a bit.
Ariana Ayu [1:02:33]
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think where we get into danger and sort of tie ourselves up into knots is when we, when we stop listening to that, our inner knowing and our inner wisdom and when we think that somebody outside of ourselves has a better answer than we do. Now, there are some things when, you know, if you need somebody to build a building, you sure as heck want to hire an engineer or somebody who understands structure and wait and value. And I think those are the times when you know, if if you’re if you’re in your mojo, if you’re in the flow, and you’ve got that momentum going of, of your own wisdom, you can go You know what, this is where I need to hire somebody, this is where I need somebody else’s wisdom. And this is where my own wisdom is exactly what I need.
David Ralph [1:03:24]
Can you see what your mojo is? If you could tell me your mojo? in three words, what would it be?
Unknown Speaker [1:03:31]
Ariana Ayu [1:03:33]
that’s a hard one for me. Because for me, Mojo is a feeling. And I’m not always great with translating those feelings into words. So I’m going to give it a shot for you.
Unknown Speaker [1:03:45]
Ariana Ayu [1:03:50]
I would say intuition,
play and action, because I have to follow my intuition to understand, you know, what, what’s the right timing? And what’s the right thing to say yes to or no to, and then I have to play, I have to make it fun, I have to enjoy it, because that’s where that creative juice sort of comes from. And then action, for me is a big one. Because you have to be able, I have to be able to actually move things forward. I can’t just think about it or talk about it or try to take it into existence. It’s got to be I have to take the leap. And, and you know, and by leap, I mean leap or tiny slide or just a step, you know, but I have to do something to move it forward. I can’t just expect that. that things will be handed to me. And when I do my part, when I step forward, when I do an action when I actually take action on something. When things do get handed to me, you know, you do you meet the people that have a big impact. But it doesn’t, it doesn’t happen when you’re standing still. So I think for me for my personal Mojo, I think those are the three things that’s where it comes from.
David Ralph [1:05:14]
Do you realise your three words was basically Steve Jobs speech condensed to three words, wasn’t it? action and play that was exactly what he was saying. And you condensed it to your own personal values?
Ariana Ayu [1:05:29]
Well, you know, maybe you, me and Steve Jobs are all the same person just in different outfits.
Unknown Speaker [1:05:34]
Do you think he wears a dress as well?
Ariana Ayu [1:05:37]
Hmm. You know, I’m sure that they make one with a turtleneck and some denim So sure, why not?
David Ralph [1:05:45]
I don’t know where my fascination in wearing a dress is. I’m really I do apologise for all the listeners out there. I don’t know me dress like that I’m normally wearing nothing at all. Right, just before we send you back in time on the mic, and this is the part of the show that we call the Sermon on the mic. When we send you back to have a one on one with your younger self. I’ve got a question for you. And the question is to all the listeners out there. Can they all have a kick ass life?
Ariana Ayu [1:06:12]
Oh, yeah. Absolutely no question about it. And I think we get to define whoever you are, you get to define what you want that to be. You get to define your kick ass life. And the moment that you start to define it and say, This is what I really want. Then you’re already you’re tapping into that Mojo, you’re getting your intuition ready, and you’re getting ready to play because none of us, none of us wants none of us thinks that kick ass life is working really hard getting paid very little and feeling miserable. Nobody thinks that. So yeah, absolutely. They say,
David Ralph [1:06:56]
oh you listeners out there. It’s all out there for you. You just have to listen to this lady. And take her words of wisdom because she’s laying for you on the plate. Really is, is a plate but you should be gorging on on a daily basis. When you’re in the train and you’re on the plane or whatever you’re doing. Just Just think of this word and then listen back to this conversation. Because it’s bear. It’s where everything there’s, there’s gold in those hills in this episode, and the nuggets that Ariana is sharing with you is absolutely there for you to have a kick ass life. car. This is this is Jesus isn’t me today is its own inspirational. So let’s get on to the Sermon on the mic. And I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time, and have a young one on one with the young Ariana, what age would you choose? And what would you say? So we’re going to find out because this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [1:07:56]
Here we go with the best love the show.
Ariana Ayu [1:08:13]
Well, hey there,
you’re just getting ready to go into high school into your you’re getting ready to start becoming an adult. And there are a lot, a lot of messages out there that you need to stop listening to. It’s as you grow and you get older, you’re going to find that there are so many ways to make yourself wrong. There are so many things that other people are going to tell you that are simply not true for you. It doesn’t mean that they’re wrong or that they’re bad. But they can’t speak for you and who you are. Nobody else can tell you what’s right for you. Because they’re not you. They don’t know you, they don’t understand what’s going on in the deepest parts of who you are. And that’s okay, the value that you’re going to find in your life will come from one place, and that is inside of you. Your wisdom. And your mistakes are what will take you forward in life, they’ll take you to where you want to go. It doesn’t matter what you look like what other people think of you. It doesn’t matter doesn’t matter if you are different from everybody else. And the truth is that you are you are unique. And that’s okay. You won’t see things the way that everybody else sees them. And that’s okay too. When you can learn to trust, your inner knowing, then you’ll know when it’s time to find a teacher, to find someone to help you. You don’t have to, to know everything and be everything to anyone, let alone everyone. You just have to keep going. It’s about getting up every day. And taking a step forward. Some of those days you’re going to be unhappy, some of those days, you’re going to be unsure. And a lot of those days, you are going to doubt yourself, you are going to wonder what is the point of it all? And you’re going to keep going. And by wondering by asking those questions, asking yourself
Unknown Speaker [1:10:35]
Ariana Ayu [1:10:38]
Asking yourself, What is going on? What’s the deeper meaning? What’s the magic and the purpose behind it all? asking those questions is going to take you places that you’ve never imagined. Dreaming better things for yourself, will get you there. The biggest obstacle for you is your own mind. When you can stop telling yourself you’re not good enough. When you can stop telling yourself that somebody else knows what’s right for you. You will be unstoppable. You have the power within you. And don’t forget that you don’t need to know where things are going. You don’t need to know what the answers are. And you don’t need to know. You don’t really even need to know where things are leading. You have to trust in yourself and have that faith and have the willingness to keep moving forward every day. Even if it’s just a little teeny, tiny step forward. And it’ll work out.
Unknown Speaker [1:11:42]
Wow. Wow, wow. Wow,
David Ralph [1:11:45]
I was I was in all of those words I was trying to write but I kept dropping the pen and just listening. And hopefully young Ariana was listening as well. So how can our audience connect with you all the listeners out there jumping out the shower still? So hey, how can they connect with you?
Ariana Ayu [1:12:03]
Well, they can connect with me. I’m in most of the major social media so you can find me on Facebook. My it’s facebook.com slash Arianna I utopia. I utopia is the name of my company. It’s a utopia International. You can also find me on my website, I utopia, calm. And if you go there, you can also download a free chapter of my book that’s coming out in just two months. I’m very excited. It’s going to be available on Amazon and all the major bookstores, everything else. But you can get a free chapter of it there at I utopia calm. And I’m on Twitter, or I write columns for ink, which is the IMC period. It’s the publication for small entrepreneurs, small businesses and entrepreneurs. there’s a there’s a lot of good ways to connect with me. And you can always send an email as well to our to our company. It’s just support at I utopia, calm. And that’s a why you t o p i a and I called my company I utopia because my last name is I you and I love the idea of creating an ideal business. That’s my this is my business utopia. So that’s where that comes from. That it’s about really helping you to create your ideal business, your ideal life and whatever you want. So I’m very accessible via either my website, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, I put a lot of good food recipes up on Pinterest, because she doesn’t like looking at pictures of food.
David Ralph [1:13:41]
Well, we will have all those links on our show notes. And Ariana, thank you so much for spending time with us today, joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe it by joining those dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Thank you so
Ariana Ayu [1:13:58]
much. Thank you, this has been wonderful.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free. And we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.
David Ralph [1:14:28]
Yes, hello there. Do you know during the show, I was looking through the iTunes reviews that everyone’s left. Oh, I’ve had some amazing ones. Well, every single one is amazing of all five star Why will they not be five star? Because it’s a five star show. But I haven’t seen one from you. Is it something I’ve said? Is it is it me? Please tell me Is it me? Well, if it’s just not oversight, please make amends by going over to iTunes and looking for Join Up Dots with David Ralph. And if you could find a few moments to leave a five star rating and review you are will be absolutely amazing. And it will really push my show further up the rankings and make it more of a show that I want to deliver to you on a daily basis. So if you could do that, thank you so much and I’ll tell you what, I might even come and mow your lawn this Sunday.