Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Chukky Okobi
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Introducing Chukky Okobi
Chukky Okobi is todays guest joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
He is a man who has been at the very top of his career, and now on a mission to go even higher.
He is a former American football center and commercial actor.
Playing college football at Purdue, he was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the fifth round of the 2001 NFL Draft.
Several years later earning a Super Bowl ring with the Steelers in Super Bowl XL (40) against the Seattle Seahawks.
He has also been a member of the Arizona Cardinals and Houston Texans, and is now a Master Practitioner in Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).
With his brand, Basic Instructions, he helps executives, athletes and others to access the resources within themselves to achieve the life experience they desire.
Life After Football The Dots Join Up
As he says “In NLP, there’s a saying: the conscious mind is the goal setter, and the unconscious mind is the goal-getter.
Your unconscious mind is not out to get you–rather, it’s out TO GET FOR YOU whatever you want in life.
However, if you don’t know how to communicate what you want properly.
It will keep bringing steaming bowls of liver stew out of the kitchen.
Whatever it is, realize that your unconscious mind only does that because it thinks that’s what you want.
“Sir, here is your procrastination along with a side of anxiety.
I’ve also told the valet to bring up your emotional baggage as per your request.
Will you be needing anything else?”
You see there is a lot going on inside us which we just haven’t got a clue that it’s holding us back from ever getting ourselves into the end zone, for life’s touchdown.
So as he worked tirelessly in his football career did he always have an eye on the next stage of his life?
And where do people go wrong in life in his view…working hard for the wrong things, are not working hard enough for the right things?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Chukky Okobi
Chukky Okobi Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Chukky Okobi such as:
Chukky shares how the repetition of practising time and time again can be so powerful.
Why it is so important to mentally set out your own steps, whilst not being prescribed by others and what they expect of us day to day.
Chukky reveals how the biggest obstacle that people face in their lives is their own personal belief structure.
What they believe they can achieve often gets stopped before it ever has a chance to come to life.
How To Connect With Chukky Okobi
If this show inspired you to think “fitness and health” then check out other fitness based shows from the Join Up Dots archives such as Youtube star Luke Sheeran, Super Cyling Man or the amazing James Barrington
Of course if you want to hear all our amazing shows then jump over to the podcast archives to hear thousands of interviews by simply clicking here.
Audio Transcription For Chukky Okobi
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:21]
Yes. Hello. Good morning, everybody and welcome to join up dots. It’s been literally weeks and months since I’ve last recorded an episode so hopefully I know what buttons to press and not just sort of do the physical buttons. Maybe I can press the right buttons and get my my guests riled up. But he’s, he’s a big fella is a big fella, so I’m not going to mess around with him. He is a former American football center and a commercial actor, and he has somebody who’s been at the very top of his career, and now he’s on a mission to go even higher. He played college football at Purdue and was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the fifth round of the 2001 NFL dropped, earning a Super Bowl ring with the Steelers in Super Bowl x L. Now that’s either 40 or extra large. So I’m going to go with 40 against the Seattle Seahawks. He’s also been a member of the Arizona Cardinals and Houston Texans and he’s now a master practitioner in neuro linguistic programming or NLP for us. Now with these brand basic instructions, he helps executives, athletes and others to access the resources within themselves to achieve the life experience they desire. As he says in NLP, there’s a saying the conscious mind is the goal setter. And the unconscious mind is the goal getter. your unconscious mind is not out to get you rather it’s out to get all you whatever you want in life. However, if you don’t know how to communicate what you want properly, it will keep bringing steaming bowls of livers to out of the kitchen. Whatever it is realize that your unconscious mind only does that because it thinks that’s what you want. So here is your procrastination along with aside anxiety. I’ve also told the ballet to bring up your emotional body as per your request. Will you be needing Anything else? You say there is a lot going on inside us which we just haven’t got a clue that is holding us back from ever getting ourselves into the end zone for life’s touchdown. And bear in mind I know nothing about American football. I’m quite proud about that. So as he worked tirelessly in his football career, did you always have an eye on the next stage of his life? And where do people go wrong? Working hard for the wrong things or not working hard enough for the right things? Well, let’s find out as we bring into the show to start joining up does with the one and only Chukky Okobi. Morning Chukky how are you?
Chukky Okobi [2:37]
Good morning David I’m excellent. How are
David Ralph [2:39]
you? I’m very, very well. I was proud of myself. As I say I come from the United Kingdom. I know nothing about American football in any shape or form. I came out with end zone last touchdown. Was that good?
Chukky Okobi [2:52]
That was excellent actually. But you know, it’s obviously wouldn’t imagine that I’m actually a bigger Premier League fan and a NFL so you know talking to somebody it over there in the UK is got me feeling a little little nostalgic from what I was a kid and I used to watch Arsenal, the Invincibles. Oh, you don’t want to talk about them?
David Ralph [3:11]
You don’t want to talk about them. Chucky didn’t
Chukky Okobi [3:14]
talk about that too much today.
David Ralph [3:15]
Yeah, we we don’t talk about Arsenal a nice game. Yes. American football was your whole thing. Of course, we’re now going to be talking about your new business. That’s why we’ve got you on there. But I’m very interested in that moment when your life changes. Because as a kid, we all have dreams. We all have focuses. We all want to be at the top of our game and you did it you achieved it. But do you realize that it’s going to come to an end? Or are you just blinkered? When you’re in it? Do you think it’s going to go on forever? Or do you always know that one tackle, one slam one, whatever, it could be the end of it.
Chukky Okobi [3:51]
It’s it’s like you said you never know when the end is going to come. And then that’s not just in sports and in your career. But in life, you don’t know how many days you have on this planet. And for me, looking at life, it’s always kind of been one thing. And so everything I do every single day, leads into at the end of it when my life ends, what exactly was and as a kid, I knew I wanted to play football, I knew I wanted to play sports since I was about seven. And you know, we know kids always dream of doing different things. And but for me, this was very real. And in my mind, it was it was like a plan that I had in seven years old. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do. I knew what the outcome was to be though. And so I treated it that way all along. And I had this dream, this dream of playing professional football. When I got to the NFL my rookie year, one of the biggest surprises I had was that I kind of felt this feeling of disappointment. And what it was is that forces a seven I had this dream, and all of a sudden it was real. And what I didn’t have my dream anymore. It was it was it wasn’t like depression, but there was just a little feeling of disappointment, like something’s missing. And it was being able to dream. And at that point in time, when everyone else looks at you and thinks that you have everything, to me was just the beginning of something, something bigger this thing called my life. And it’s I’m going to I’m at a point now, further long, more progress than I could have imagined at eight, seven, and eight, seven. Now I’m actually living it. And so that plan that I put in place, way back in the in the 80s when I was seven years old, all of a sudden, you realize that you manifested this, you made it real. Now what do we do next?
David Ralph [5:39]
Now, I totally understand that feeling of depression, because I come from a presenting background. And I can be doing something in front of a huge crowd. Feeling brilliant, feeling excellent. And then afterwards, I always feel defeated. I always feel like it’s just like the energy’s been taken from me any song, most bad, it’s the mountain, it’s the climb. That’s the exciting bit to get into the Cali, you just don’t sort of feel the same idea.
Chukky Okobi [6:09]
Yeah, you hit on the head, it’s when you have that drive, to do big things to be able to speak in front of, you know, thousands of people be able to play football on TV be able to play in the Super Bowl, and then you actually do it. What most people don’t understand, because they never had the opportunity to do the things that you and I do is that it’s not as exciting as you think it will be all the excitement is in chasing that dream is in creating that the excitement happens in the process of manifesting life. Once you’ve manifested that, that feeling of disappointment, that feeling of being drained, I think you You and I are kind of felt the same thing. And that we want, you know, we feel we need that driving and we need to be able to be pushing towards a bigger goal again, that’s what we are. And so you know, because most people never push themselves to that level in whatever their endeavors or whatever they do in life. It’s a feeling that a lot of people may not understand. But those people who are looking to do big things. It’s what I want them to understand is that it’s who You are now that’s going to determine whether you even get there, and who you become as a result of realizing your dream.
David Ralph [7:28]
Well, one of the things I’ve always been interested in or not always over the last few years, and I’m going to ask it to you is the halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl is quite amazing. Who did you Who did you have? And were you disappointed but you were dragged into a bunker somewhere for your halftime chat? When there was always going on above you who was doing your halftime?
Chukky Okobi [7:53]
Well, you know, I gotta give a shout out to the UK. And we had Rolling Stones at the Super Bowl.
David Ralph [7:59]
So you missed it.
Chukky Okobi [8:01]
Yes, I did. Yes, I did. And I can hear the base of what was going on. And you can hear all the excitement. But we had bigger things on our mind at that point. I mean, it’s just an opportunity to be what they call world champions. I mean, we only play American football here in America, but we call it world champions. And we had the opportunity to be world champion. So I really wasn’t thinking about the stones at that point. And when you
David Ralph [8:25]
aren’t doing your big game, as you know that you come into it now. And I think it was Henry Ford said it doesn’t matter if you think you can or think you can you’re going to be right. Is it one in the mind? Or is it over over sort of repetitions and the training and stuff actually, in that final moment when you’re in that Super Bowl? And does it just come down to pure instinct? Or is it overtraining that you’ve had over that period of time?
Chukky Okobi [8:54]
I think it’s a combination, and the training of the body, you know, going through these specific movements, the specific processes, the specific thought processes, over and over and over, creates neural pathways. And which becomes a natural thing to you. By the time you get to the Super Bowl, we’ve done this in 16 times done a regular season two or three times in the playoffs, because of the Super Bowl, you’ve been doing this for six months straight. And so it’s in your mind is ready to go. By repeating it over and over and over again, you’re actually rehearsing for that moment in your mind. And so that’s the way me being at the level that I was at and playing with a lot of the guys I played with, that was kind of the way the people who are at the top of the game, addressing every single practices, you’re practicing for that Super Bowl. And so you know, at that point, you’re mentally, physically and emotionally ready, ready to receive the benefits of all the work you’ve put in every single day.
David Ralph [9:59]
And so when you started studying NLP, that must have been a big part of you that Oh, I’ve been doing this, you know, this has now got a name. But what I’ve been doing this repetition is reprogramming ourselves. Right?
Chukky Okobi [10:13]
Yeah, I it’s funny, I actually was first introduced to NLP as a freshman in college. And I went to Barnes and Noble looking for some sort of competitive advantage. In the my thought process was back then every single person, you know, I was playing at Purdue in the big 10. And every single person is lifting weights, every single person is practicing every single person’s running, every single person is doing the same things. What can I do, that’s going to give me an advantage, something that they’re not necessarily thinking about something that they’re not necessarily doing. And this is what I was 18, I just went to look for something. I’m a boy, jumping niche.
David Ralph [10:53]
Okay, why do you think you did that? And you didn’t just go with the course of getting more and more massively lifting ways? Why did you think that you knew there was a better way?
Chukky Okobi [11:04]
Well, it’s, a lot of it came down to my thought processes as a kid. And growing up, I moved around a lot and was kind of always on the new kid in school. And I was on the outside, always looking and kind of examining my environment, as opposed to being a part of it. And what that did for me was kind of gave me more a more objective view about things. And I noticed patterns in the way people behave, and why and the decisions they make in their lives. And you see this over and over and over again, as a child, so then you start to decide in your mind that maybe I should do something different. And that’s just the thought process that I came up with as a child. And at that point, at 18, I still was a child. And it was just like, Okay, everybody else is doing these things. And they’re having success, and I could be the same as them. But what if I want to be better, I need to do something more. And so I went just searching something and you know, found a book by Dr. tat James. And it’s the been using NLP ever since to get into bed. It’s not only in sports, but in, in life and in my business endeavors. And in my speaking,
David Ralph [12:15]
so, so it was definitely a case of trying to be better, it wasn’t a case of trying to keep up, there wasn’t any doubts in your mind. But God, these guys look so good, I’ve got to find a different way to just keep up.
Chukky Okobi [12:29]
Well, the thing is, I look at those guys at that point. And they have two arms and two legs, and two lungs and two eyes, just like me. So whatever that human beings doing, I’m a human being just like them, which means I’m capable of it, I just need to figure out how, and that was my mindset. It’s not as a matter of them being better, or me being not good enough. As much as I need to find if I want to cook this particular meal, I need the recipe. And so it’s important think, not just what you want, but to continue to have that child my child like curiosity, that that wonderment of how do I do it? And continuing to explore that? And that’s what I did.
David Ralph [13:14]
And when you were doing it, and you were looking for different ways, did your teacher coach come up to you and go, Well, well done to you, well done to you, Chucky, or was, you know, in, in the locker room. And I imagine there’s a load of banter going around and young lads walking around with a book that they’re reading and stuff may not be seen as the way to go, how did you get approached that method?
Chukky Okobi [13:40]
Well, the thing is in college, it me sitting there reading the book is not going to set off any alarms in anyone’s mind, because we’re all going to school. So it was one of those things that I was able to just mix in with the other stuff I was reading for class and, or studying for, for football. So a lot of most of my Matter of fact, I think about I don’t think I ever discussed it with any of my teammates, exactly what I was doing. All I do know is that the results following me applying these techniques and methods and taking control of my own mind, to create the life I wanted. And as we know, I was able to do that as an athlete. And so, for me, it was more about looking at the results in being able to validate my progress on my own. And that’s one of the issues I think a lot of people have is they’re always looking for external validation, like a coach or a boss or parent to tell them that they’re doing good. I didn’t, I was working on myself, and was able to gauge the progress I was making based on the actual results I was getting as opposed to somebody else telling me I was doing good. I wanted evidence within my own life. And you know, being a freshman, my first year at Purdue in learn NLP, and all of a sudden I became the only freshman that will start on our team back in 1997. And as you go through, I started off four years, we went we were big 10 champions, I got drafted the NFL, I played there eight years, I won the Super Bowl. And all of this started before that first year playing at Purdue. It started with me finding NLP and and, and applying the techniques to my own mind to create my own life. And in that’s what I teach people to do is to use that’s the same principles who same. It’s not just that, okay, a lot of it is things that I learned along the way playing football, but basically structures essentially helping people to learn that recipe so they can create their own life the way they want it to be same way I did.
David Ralph [15:44]
I love this conversation, I really do. Because it is so powerful, because one of the things that people have a problem with is peer pressure. And going through college and going into the sporting environment has a lot of peer pressure. So to be able to find that competitive edge to move you ahead. You know, I remember going the only American football game I’ve ever been to in my life was the Arizona Cardinals play the Miami Dolphins at the Sun Devil stadium for memory. I think that probably was
Chukky Okobi [16:15]
David Ralph [16:16]
that’s back in the day, back in the day. And the only player I know, other than you now is a quarterback called Jake Plummer, who was playing for the Arizona Cardinals. And he had a bit of a blinder on this day, I got told and he was throwing it all over the place. And I said to my colleagues, I said, you know, that guy, that guy looks really good. I don’t think about American football, but he looks really amazing. And he said, No, that’d be the highlight that will be his greatest going we’ve just seen. And pretty much was because I never saw it afterwards. Is that the problem again, where the real legends can get to that peak. And then they go again, they go again, and I keep on going Bye. If we all got that, that Super Bowl performance in us. But the different yes you bring to the table is the ability for us to go again and be the Super Bowl time and time again, like we see with certain like the Rolling Stones, for example been going 60 years, and making up on bringing out the bag.
Chukky Okobi [17:18]
Yeah, and the people that are at the top of the game, the legends, the the superstars, not just in football, but in all sports in all walks of life. Those people their success started with the way they think. And then they create what are called strategies. And that is a certain set a certain procedure, a set of steps mentally, that are going to lead them to their outcome. Once you’re able to learn a strategy, create a strategy to get what you want. If you can repeat that strategy again and again and again, mentally, then you can repeat it physically. Once you repeat it physically, and you’re competing, and mentally, you’re creating neural pathways, which are going to make it a way of doing things. And that’s essentially what I’ve witnessed playing with the guys that I’ve played with, I mean, you know, I have to send a shout out to one of my college teammates and good friends for 20 plus years, Drew Brees, who just became the National Football League all time leading passer this past week. And you know, I know, I knew him we were playing when we were 18. And again, it comes down to creating your way of doing things to meet your ends. And there’s nobody better to look at then one of the greatest football players ever playing, seeing the way that he was able to do that is you think a certain way, then you behave a certain way you get specific results, if you just repeat that process again and again, you’re going to be able to get with the consistent results. And so then you’re not going to just have one game here there, you’re going to end up being like Drew Brees and, and playing 18 years and being the best that ever did it.
David Ralph [19:04]
Let’s play some words. Now then let’s delve back into this because I find this fascinating. He’s Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [19:09]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [19:35]
So well I’m finding from this conversation is number one, as Jim, just say, you’ve got to do something that you love. So you put your passion, you put your heart into it, you can’t go out just for the money because it’s going to leave you feeling flat. But you’ve got to be, you know, you’ve got to go for the 10,000 hours rule. If it exists, you’re going to keep on working at it. But what you done and what everyone who’s done something great from this owns to the Beatles to Elvis in the music field, to tiger woods to whatever is they’ve created their own identity when you see him, and when you see Chucky, it’s you and when you see the Beatles, and nobody else does it. Is that once again, is that something that people screw upon, I look at other people’s success and go, right as long as I replicate that, I’m going to do really well. But actually, they’re just going to be a poor version of what was came before David,
Chukky Okobi [20:30]
I gotta tell you, the biggest issue I see with people who are trying to find success trying to elevate and be the best that they can be. The thing that keeps them from getting what they want is you start believing things. And what I mean by that is, when you’re a kid, you have this belief that anything’s possible. Well, now that you’re 37 years old, what changed? Why do you all of a sudden believe in these limits, when we had to come from somewhere. And so what happens a lot of times people won’t be met with temporary defeat little obstacles in the road. And they will start to believe that oh, well, maybe, maybe a happy life is not for me, maybe, you know, making it to the NFL is not for me, you start believing that not realizing that it’s your beliefs that create your world. So the minute you believe, like Henry Ford said, you can or you can’t think you’re right. And for me, regardless of how things looked, I always knew what I was and who I was what I was trying to accomplish, regardless of what my teammates were trying to do, regardless of what you know, my team, you know, my team might, you know, the Steelers were trying to do, I knew what I was trying to do. Just like knowing Drew Brees and becoming the greatest of all times, he knew what he was trying to do. And so it’s as simple as doing the same thing as those human beings out there who come up with their plan, and execute, you get to have the same type of success as the Beatles that same type of success as the Rolling Stones. There’s a reason there’s a strategy that went on mentally, and they manifested physically. And that’s really the recipe. That’s the basic instructions of life, really.
David Ralph [22:18]
But how does that fit into a team where, you know, it’s always somebody like myself, I try to do things very different from everybody else. And effectively, there’s there’s no ripples, it’s just what works does and what works doesn’t. But in a sporting environment, your teammates have to have you doing what I expect you to do, I have to have you in a certain position in a certain location. How do you bring in your own identity into fact, when the team is more powerful than the individuals?
Chukky Okobi [22:49]
I think, football, it will take 22 people and play football. And it’s one of those sports that you unless you’re playing organized football, you’re never playing that when you’re done playing football, you’ll never play again. For me as a center as an offensive lineman, it was about understanding what my role was, in terms of how to make this teamwork. Once I have a complete understanding of what my purpose is, then it’s about and this is my my strategy, my way of going about doing things, it was about taking that that role, then isolate yourself, focus on it, and become as good at that role as you possibly can. Then when that way, when you come out of isolation, and go back to the team environment, you’re as good at that role as you could possibly be. Therefore, that role is filled for the team. And we can move forward with our plan as a team to win. But if I haven’t taken the accountability, to make sure that I’m the family best that I can be at my job. Well, that I can’t serve my team as well. And I think that that’s where a lot of times people mess up because we’re constantly looking outside of ourselves as to what we should do, what other people’s expectations are. You if you set your expectations higher than anybody else could set for you. That all of a sudden those you know, thinking about what other people think of the lead, that doesn’t mean that in your mind, because you know, based on what you’ve done it, you’re the best. And there’s no way that if you are the best your performance is going to show that in the entire team is going to benefit and the world’s going to see that.
David Ralph [24:33]
Well, as I speak about myself. You know, there’s certain times when I will be recording podcast, and I feel like I’m on my game, I feel like I’m on fire. And then there’s other times I feel that it’s not hitting home, it’s just sort of words coming out of my mouth. It’s a very sort of isolated existence that I’ve got, you’re going to be teaching people who basic instructions to help executives, athletes, and others access totally different environments, and especially in the corporate world, but people can go into board meetings. And even if they feel flat, the other person doesn’t get that How the hell do you train people to not allow those inner vibes up? I felt a bit sloppy today I don’t really I’m not really up for it. Is it just professionalism is that when it comes down to I mean, professionalism
Chukky Okobi [25:25]
is a little ambiguous. And if you try to say, you know, what is it that makes it so that people were able to perform consistently, whether it be in a corporate world or in the athletic world, and it really comes down to the same thing. And it’s about the individual being able to control their internal state. And that internal state means you mentally emotionally, you know, which is all tied to the physical, like, if you got enough, if you’re sleeping enough at night, or eating right, and all those things come into play. At the end of the day, what I teach people to do is to be able to take control of their own mind, to be able to control their mental state. So those times when you feel that feeling like you know, I’m just kind of going through the motions, I don’t really feel like doing this, I don’t really believe that the conversation I’m having with the person on today’s podcast is really hitting home, you realize that all of that is going on inside of your head, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true. So if you can change your internal state, if you knew how to get yourself into that same state that you felt when the last podcast where I felt really excited, and I felt like I was hitting home, I was just on my game. There’s something there’s a strategy that you created in your head that day, there’s a series of steps you went through mentally that makes you feel that way that day. Now, if I can teach you those steps, you realize you can recreate that same effect every single time.
David Ralph [26:54]
Yeah, I can see this, I can see this totally. And so you’re you’re almost creating your own in an environment to win the outer environment.
Chukky Okobi [27:03]
Exactly. One of one of the principles of NLP is that perception is projection. And what that means is that what most people don’t realize is your external world is really just the protection of what’s going on inside your mind. Even if you think about it, your optic nerves are connected to your brain. So everything you’re seeing with your eyes, you’re really just interpreting in your mind, everything that happens in your world, is a reflection of what’s going on inside your mind. So people who ever know that people who are like, you know, all the bad things in the world happened to me. Yeah, you know, why is this? Because but that’s, that’s the script that they’re running in their head. Have you met my wife?
David Ralph [27:45]
Have you met my wife? Yeah. And I
Chukky Okobi [27:47]
probably, but at the end of the day, they’re continuing to, to say that to themselves and keep continuing to consciously say that, you know, I’m just unlucky, not understanding the FS, the best to script this running in your brain, you’re naturally going to find examples of that and your external world that are going to make it true to you. Where if you literally started thinking about the things that you’re grateful for the things that you’re you feel lucky to have, you start to think about how you’re able to attract these positive things, how you’re going to begin to attract more positive things, simply because of what happened inside, you change what was going on in your mind. Any change you want to manifest in real life, it all starts with changing the way you’re thinking. And that’s what I learned back when I was 18. And it turned into my career pursue my career in the NFL. And what I want to show other people is that when you look at people like myself, you look at, you know, people like Drew Brees, you look at people like Elvis, that they’re just human beings, just like you’re a human being. And that means you have the same type of mind that those people have. They just simply believe different things had different mental strategies, and consistently perform them.
David Ralph [29:08]
Yeah, but they have talent as well. Then they you know, eldest Yeah, you know, he could he could sing rather well. And he could see, like, Elvis he just sounds like Elvis. And that’s sort of takes me back to what I said earlier. The anyone who sounds like Elvis is just ripping off him. He’s totally unique.
Chukky Okobi [29:28]
Yeah, isn’t that person that’s ripping off Elvis is unique to but they’re afraid to be themselves. Because they think they need to be Elvis to have success. You don’t have to be Elvis, you have to be because Elvis Elvis, no one else can be him. So why don’t you bring yourself to the table? Why don’t you, you know, show me what you can do something new, something different. Because in human history, there’s never been any one that’s being you before you. Once you pass away, there’s never going to be you can, which means that your existence, this is the first and last time it’s ever happened in the history of the universe is you, you will only going to happen this once. So every idea every thought you have is unique has never happened before. Because you’ve never existed before. So what it is that you bring to the table, but your true self is is rare. And then Rarity, we find value like diamonds. So why would I try to be Elvis? We’ve already had Elvis. So let me bring let me show you me. Let me show you who I am. And that’s the people that are rising to the top of music, in in business and politics are the people who are embracing who they are and what they bring to the table regardless of what the rest of us think about them. They they’re the only ones in their mind.
David Ralph [30:53]
And it’s a lot easier to be yourself, isn’t it to be honest?
Chukky Okobi [30:57]
Well, it is when you stop paying attention to you know what other people expect? And what you think what you believed in the past to be the answer the way to do it, once you get past it and start to realize that Yeah, being me is easier. You have to accept that first.
David Ralph [31:18]
thing with that know, Chucky is you’re in a sporting environment where you’ve got 80,000 people shouting Xiaomi, you’re rubbish, Jackie, get him off, get him off. How do you sort of stay true to yourself, when you’ve got the world screaming and shouting at you and every sportsman’s had that
Chukky Okobi [31:37]
everyone has. And again, I’m in control of my mind. So I can either focus on it, or I can decide to shut it out. And that’s something that a lot of athletes, you know, we talked about being in the zone and focusing just on what you’re doing. In the midst of all those people, I’m totally focused on what I’m doing right now. That’s the first thing. The second thing is going back to what people believe. If I sit there, and someone tells me that I’m terrible, and I allow that to affect me in any way, shape, or form, and all they did was use words, that you realize that they can control me with words, if I can be controlled by their words, then anyone can control me. You can control me right now, if it only takes his words. So what somebody says to me, isn’t necessarily going to sway me one way or the other. It doesn’t motivate me, it doesn’t discourage me. It’s, that’s that’s this there, that human beings make noise over there. I’m focused on what I’m doing.
David Ralph [32:36]
And what you’re saying to yourself. You’re sitting there and going, Yeah, I was rubbish today. I’m never gonna make it, I’m never gonna get to the Super Bowl.
Chukky Okobi [32:47]
Right? That’s what that’s exactly what I do with basic instructions is we got to change the conversation that you’re having with yourself. And a lot of times sports, when you have a success, failure, and you, you know, if you’re playing basketball, and you’re missing shot after shot after shot, then you start to focus on the fact that you’re missing shots. But going back to what I said, if that’s what you’re thinking, What do you think’s going to happen, you’re going to continue to miss the shots. So it’s learning how to change that conversation in your mind. as to not focusing on what you don’t want. Because the unconscious mind, you have a conscious mind and unconscious mind, I think most people understand that concept. the unconscious mind doesn’t understand the game. So if I say I don’t want to miss any more shots, all the unconscious mind hurt is Miss shots. So is the more you told yourself to stop missing shots, you’re going to keep missing shots, until you start focusing focusing on what you do want to happen. Does that make sense?
David Ralph [33:51]
Yeah, it makes total sense that no, I was reflecting when I had young children who used to laugh and used to say, you know, don’t throw the ball on the floor. And I would just by keeping loving it on the floor. And what we should have been saying is keep the water in the bath.
Chukky Okobi [34:07]
Exactly, exactly. changing those little things in language. And not just in communication with other people. But more importantly, in communication with yourself, those little changes are part of the basic instructions that are going to lead you to having that Super Bowl level of success.
David Ralph [34:25]
Where is your validation? When you said something interesting at the beginning about everybody’s out for validation? And as she was saying, I didn’t jump straight in because he was coming out with a load of interesting stuff. But I’ve stored in the brain? And did you have validation when you first became an NFL player was that was that the dream validation? Or was the validation winning the Super Bowl, or maybe it was something totally different in your life.
Chukky Okobi [34:52]
My validation was what I got my scholarship to play football at Purdue. And you know, coming out of high school, I wasn’t the guy that was highly recruited. Matter of fact, going to Trinity public school, which is a boarding school in upstate New York, it’s an excellent academic institution, but it wasn’t a haven for athletes at the time. And to try to play football out of that environment was was challenging. But I was able to get the scholarship at Purdue, which was my only scholarship offer. So I knew back then in high school that I was a big time football player, I my validation that I get is from the results. And once I was able to secure that scholarship, that was my validation that I was on the right track that I was indeed, going to make it to the NFL that I was going to get where I wanted to go. And what he’s talking about validation, a lot of times we’re looking for that external validation. Again, going back to high school, I was not highly recruited, I was not a superstar. I was just a kid who wanted to do something. And to me, I continue to focus on myself not wet, not my circumstance, not work, what other people thought was going to happen, not what other people thought I should do. Those things are it’s just noise, like, it doesn’t really matter. I’m the only one living my life. So I continue to follow my path. And the only validation I saw was the results that I if I is did I reach the results that I was trying to reach? As opposed to somebody telling me I did a good job? Because I mean, what does that matter anyway, unless they’re going to be able to make some sort of difference in my life, their opinions appreciated. If it’s positive, and if it’s negative, well, I am allergic to negativity, so I just will reject it and keep moving forward with my plan. I think we look too much to other people to the rest of the world to tell us how we’re supposed to behave, what we’re supposed to do, how we’re supposed to get where we’re supposed to go. And when you start to believe what everyone’s telling you. Then your dream your plan starts to lose momentum. And listening to other people.
David Ralph [37:00]
That guy who you were talking about who’s just the all time greatest American football player, whatever his name was, Drew drew something was it.
Chukky Okobi [37:07]
Drew Drew Brees,
David Ralph [37:08]
when you when you used to know him, was he somebody that you looked at? And you thought he’s gonna go on to be an all star? He’s gonna be amazing, or was he just somebody that just kept on doing it?
Chukky Okobi [37:20]
I it’s funny, because now you know, people in the sporting world, everyone knows who he is. And he’s, you know, one of the top football players ever when I first met him, he was he knows about this tall as me was about six foot one. Most quarterbacks are about six, four and, and taller. He’s short. And he was kind of skinny. And, and, you know, I met him and he said, he played quarterback. And I remember thinking like, I don’t know how this dude is going to be able to play quarterback. And he’s just, he’s just a little too smart. Like that was just my initial thought. And then when I know when he when he started practicing that first spring training, and I actually played football with him, I quit realized that he was different. And that, and then playing for years together and being drafted into the NFL together. I saw the way he worked, I saw the patterns and strategies to the things that he did within himself to develop himself to be the best he could be. And so I actually, you know, go back, you know, that was when I first met Drew’s 97 1997. And you know, that first impression, at first glance, no, I didn’t look like he was going to be the best ever. But once I played with him, I knew that it was it was possible. And it didn’t take long, but I met him in 97. By the end of 98, I really thought it could be the best ever was simply because of the way he approached his self development the way he approached his work.
David Ralph [38:49]
Let’s play the words now from somebody who basically through his flaws did become one of the best that the world’s ever known is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [38:57]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking for when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [39:31]
It’s interesting listening to that Chuckie, I reflected on the fact that a whole conversation that we’ve been talking about is basically about patterns and connections and building links to from the past to the future. Do you reflect on those words that Steve Jobs said bear as relevant to your own life?
Unknown Speaker [39:52]
I think it’s I think he’s his messages is really in line with my message and words, you know, as NLP best practices, you know, I’m a words person, one thing people don’t understand about words is they’re just labels. When he says the word trust. If you just switch that out with the word believe, then him, then Steve Jobs in myself are saying the same thing. And what he’s saying is, you can’t predict exactly how it’s going to play out going forward, you can look back and see how it did play out. But going forward, you have to trust you have to believe that when you look back 10 years from now, so long as you stay focused on what it is you were trying to accomplish, you will look back and see exactly how it came together. But the only way to do that is to have that trust in your plan going forward that that belief that you’re going to reach the end, you want to you don’t necessarily know how you can you’re going to make the plan, that plan is going to change, things are going to happen. People are going to be born people are going to pass way and you can keep moving forward towards your goal. And once you reach your goal, you’ll be able to look back and see. Okay, it was when I went to Barnes and Noble when I learned NLP and then I started applying it. And then this is what happened in 9798. I got with the NFL in 2000. And then and then with the Super Bowl in 2005. And then now in hindsight, I can join all the dots together. But back then there’s no way I could have predicted it played out the way it did. And I think that that’s what Steve Jobs getting?
David Ralph [41:30]
And has it been a better journey for you personally, because you couldn’t, you couldn’t join it up. But now you look back in is there is a pattern.
Unknown Speaker [41:39]
Yeah, the beauty of being able to look back on things is the positives and the negatives, the negative things. A lot of times we carry negative emotions forward, or we just call it baggage emotional baggage, we carry that forward, when you know what I help people do is to release that emotional baggage looking back. And then once you realize that any situation in past this seemed like a crisis, something bad. It actually once you release the negative emotion, all this left is a lesson to bet you learned so that even the negative things are good. They instill, you can go back and look at all of the choices. You know you you thought you made the wrong choice. But then you realize how it was the right choice. You saw you thought you were upset because something negative happened. But then looking back, you can see how it led to something else positive that wouldn’t have been able to happen without that initial disappointment. And looking back, you’re able to really realize that your entire life happened the way it was supposed to. Yeah, you can’t look forward and see that. But you can look back and be like, No, I’m right, exactly where I’m supposed to be. is based on my beliefs, my decisions, my choices.
David Ralph [42:58]
Yeah. And you are certainly I think you are in the place where you should be up in your whole life is quite obvious from this side of the pond. But he’s been building up not to this point on the podcast, but to everything that you’re doing in your life. And I’ve got no doubt that you will become more and more successful because of the knocks, and the trips and the falls more of a successes. Well, this is a bit of the show that we’ve been leading up to. And this brings it all naturally to an end when we can join up your dots, when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could speak to your younger self, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give them? Well, I’m going to play the theme of the Sermon on the mic. And Ben, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [43:48]
With the best of the show.
Unknown Speaker [44:04]
Chuck Jacobi, nice to talk to you. I know you’re only 13 years old, but
Unknown Speaker [44:11]
he listened to me very carefully.
Unknown Speaker [44:14]
We’re all alone in this world. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. Just understand that everything that you want to happen to be a professional athlete, to be successful entrepreneur, it will happen so long as you understand that anything and everything you want to do in life needs to be self initiated by you. It has to be maintained by you. If your life sucks, that’s your fault. But also, if your life is incredible, that’s your fault, too. All the pieces for greatness are in there in your mind. It’s not until you make the decision of what you want to do with your life, who you want to be. Until then, what’s the meaning you exist? This isn’t this world. Why are you even here.
Unknown Speaker [45:03]
And understand the trying to find yourself as a waste of time.
Unknown Speaker [45:08]
You play sports, it’s what you’ve always loved is what moves you. It’s what makes you smile and get you excited chasing that dream. keep chasing dreams. The things you love and the things you lose yourself and lose track of time doing. Those are the things you need to be doing in your life. Decide now how you want things to be and start making life decisions. And living your life accordingly. Forget what’s there, there’s no such thing as fear. It doesn’t matter how things are supposed to be. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. All that matters is what you do right now. Because everything has happened in the past, it doesn’t exist anymore. Your power, your memory only exists in your mind. The past is in your mind. The future is in your imagination. It hasn’t happened yet. So only thing that’s real is this moment right now. set the stage this line where you want to go. Because if you don’t decide where the finish line is, how do you know we’re running in the right direction? How do you know when you can stop a celebrated victory. Without a finish line, you’re running this race called life, you don’t even know why you can’t predict the future. And that can be a little scary. It can be a little uncomfortable. But the decisions you make in this moment, the diligence with which you maintain your self initiated destination, and the plan you’ve set for yourself. That’s the biggest determining factor of what your life is going to be like from this moment forward.
Unknown Speaker [46:40]
So what’s it going to be?
Unknown Speaker [46:43]
Are you going to
Unknown Speaker [46:46]
listen to yourself, follow your inner voice, those basic instructions that you were born with? Because you’d never happened before son? It’s just you. There’s never been you before they’ll never be you again. So when it’s all said and what are they going to say about you? What is your name gonna mean?
Unknown Speaker [47:04]
What are your children going to say about you?
Unknown Speaker [47:08]
One of the people who’s who you’ve helped the people you’ve inspired, the people you’ve taught to get in touch with the basic instructions. What does your name in? All of that is determined by what you do right now.
Unknown Speaker [47:26]
David Ralph [47:27]
powerful stuff. Jackie, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you sir?
Unknown Speaker [47:34]
basic instructions calm is the website. You know, I’m very active on social media, particularly Facebook and Twitter in them so you could look up Chuck EOB basic instructions on NLP on Facebook on Twitter is Chucky, CH UK, KY two K’s no see. Ch UK ky basics, some Chucky basics, and it’s Instagram and Twitter. And then on obviously on Facebook, you can look up basic instructions and find my page and website is basic instructions calm.
David Ralph [48:07]
We’ll have links on the show notes. But Jackie, thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots. And please come back again when you’ve got more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Chuck EOB. Thank you so much.
Chukky Okobi [48:24]
Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
David Ralph [48:32]
Chucky, Akobi, so American football player, had the dream, got to the NFL, and then got to the pinnacle the Super Bowl and got his ring. And then what do you do afterwards? Well, he took all those dots but had led up to where he was. And he’s transitioned into basic instructions calm. Well, as we say he’s helping executives, athletes and others, to really look inside themselves and achieve what life can give them. And it is it’s all out there. If you wanting enough and you make the right decisions, then you’re going to get it. If you sell, it’s never going to happen. What’s the point? What’s the point I just have another beer, then you’re just gonna have another beer. And that’s where you’re going to end up. Thank you so much for Chukky. And thank you so much for everybody who’s listening to this episode of join up dots. I’m loving this loving this. I think the shows are getting stronger and stronger personally. But tell us is that people out there that you would like to hear on the show? Would you like different types of stories? Tell us it’s your show after all, and just go over to join up dots on the contact form, send us a message and we will do our best to connect with people that you want to hear from or just change things around for you. Until next time, thank you so much for listening. That was David Ralph and join up doors. And of course Chukky Okobi. We’ll see you again cheers
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices include the two that changed his life. Head over to join up.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.