Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast “Cut Off Your Loser Friends”
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When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:27]
Good morning to you. Good morning to you. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to the Big Blue House. Welcome to the Blue House. Hello, from the small mouse things to do. Is that still going? Is that still going bear in the Big Blue House. I used to watch out with my kids when they were little.
But now my son is learning to drive and my eldest one, the next one down, but he’s still there. Welcome to the Blue House. I hope it is. And I hope the beer is fine. And the moon Hello, Moon. Sorry, I’m losing this out. I tell you well, I’m feeling a bloody good at the moment. bloody good. And if you listen to one of the episodes that I’ve been referencing, recently about, I was being depressed. I thought I did but really depressed. I want to go back into it. Listen to the show, its downloads people. But through the process of it, I realised that I was I needed to realign my life, I needed to readjust, I needed to fiddle around for a while.
And even when my wife keeps us I stopped fiddling, stop pedalling. And I say it’s complicated down there. It’s complicated. You got to be a man to understand that it’s just an annoyance to women. But it’s complicated, isn’t it? So yeah, I felt a little bit depressed, but I feel good. Now I feel really, really good. And one of the reasons is I am and it’s one of the things that I’m going to talk about today is I realised that I surrounded myself with, as we say, in the United Kingdom, missiles, or miserable people, or victims or activity, people now, when you start something like this with Join Up Dots, yeah, your dream and my dream is about, everyone would listen, and I am inspired, I am inspired to go out and do my own thing, and why you would listen to the shows I would hear but gold day we would hear the positivity and the motivation.
And I would go out and do it. And it’d be amazing. And people will be walking around the streets of London, or wherever you are across the world. Hi, following me and saying, David, you changed my life you’ve changed my life for the better. And that’s of course, the vision of what you want. Well, I’d realised recently that that’s not possible. And I’d surrounded myself with people that would just keep on contacting me and would just be keeping sending messages. Now. If you get a response back to me, from me, not to me, that would just be stupid. I’ve been sending it to myself. But I’m if you get a response back from me, you will know the flavour of what I sent back. I try to respond to every single person, but don’t now respond in anything other than absolutely heartfelt advice. So if you’ve had a response from me recently, and I’m sure you will not listen to miss to show anymore, if you have were upset, Sheila, thank you so much for listening, really appreciate you listening.
But you, you’ve been connecting with us over the last two years. And literally, you’re asking the same thing all the time, you’re asking for, you know, free advice, you’re asking for support you’re asking, but then you’re not doing anything with what we gave you. And I’ve spent so much time as I’ve said over the last few years, connecting with people live and really trying to help them and point them in the right direction and support them because I felt it was my job. Yes, I did. I felt like I was a podcasting, Jesus walking the earth trying to help people find their way. But I’ve now realised, but actually, it was just me down.
And I could see that no matter what I did to these people. And for these people. They weren’t going to do anything with it. They were just gonna sort of take the advice and then come back a little bit later with the same old sob storey. So I do apologise people out there. If you feel about I’m now letting you down and you’ll go, Oh, I listen to me show and he doesn’t couldn’t I do apologise really from the bottom of my heart. But I’ve now realised that my focus is on the people that are going to make a difference are actually going to do something really need the help. I can’t spend all my time spending time with people that aren’t going to do anything. It’s just pointless. I’ve got to focus in on the people that are going to change their life. And over the last few weeks, we’ve we’ve created businesses with Martin we’re blue with Susanna with Joanna that rhymes with who else with Dan with Mac with Richard loads of people are coming through and actually taking proactive action.
Now that that’s my kind of little rant to start off with and I hope you out there you understand why I’m doing it because I love you listening and I love you connecting with me. But there’s no point if you then just sort of go round and round in circles and we all know the people that are like that in our lives. And I’d realised through that process that I’ve had people in my life as well that are victims of the mindset, okay, they’re just in that that kind of life is rubbish. Life is based life is fat. It’s all right for you. Were the kind of loser friends. And it’s funny since they started coming into my head. I keep on saying videos I was watching one with Gary Vee know Chuck, the appetiser and being one with Dan Pena, the billionaire coach, and been Joe Rogan.
And they were all saying the same thing, that you’ve got to look at the people that you’re surrounding yourself with, and think I need to cut that person off and replace them with a winner. Now we’ve all heard the phrase about you’re the average of the five people you surround yourself with. Unfortunately, it’s quite difficult to prune that off. Because we’ve got emotions. We’ve got an attachment to people, we’ve grown up with him. Yes, he was my best friend when I was four. And yeah, we’re still best friends. Cut off your loser friends..now.
Now. At that moment, you’ve got to think about yourself, and you kind of think of the people in your life, but you say they’re my best friend.
My best friend Mr. bf, but rb, at two o’clock in the morning would might actually come around and help you if you phoned up or you text and you said that really, really depressed, you know, would that actually do something about it? I being the kind of people that actually, you feel worse for spending time in their company, when you do when you’re not. So I have had people that I kind of Auto Deploy, I feel slightly depressed when I’ve spent time in their company. And I come back and I’d say to the why. Why did that you know? And she said, Oh, well, you’ve known each other for years. I go, Yeah, I know. But it’s just you know, just energy is important. And you’ve got to think about all your friends and your peer group. As are these people that are pumping the energy into you, so that you can go off and do big and bold and some might say sexy things, are they the ones that are sucking the energy out of you. And if you’ve got a few of those in your grips, you’ve got to get rid of them, you’ve got to and you’ve got to sit down with them. And I always think face to face, everyone that I’ve cut off, I will always sit down with them face to face and say, Look, my life has moved on. I’m not feeling this anymore.
To be honest, you’re just bringing me down, and I don’t want back to my life. I want over best view, I want you to enjoy yourself, but you’re not part of my journey anymore. And it’s difficult to do. But it frees up space for you to then find other people that are the go getters, they are the motivational ones, they are the people with inspiration in their hearts. And I say to people that way, Coach, you know, I say at the end of this, I want to stay in touch with you, you know, not everyone, because some of them, I think, you know, they haven’t got it. But the ones that have and the ones that are powering forward.
I love to see how that’s occurring. I love to see how their lives changing. And I love to support them through communication, once my sort of my course or whatever I’ve been doing with them finishes because it’s important to see that happening in your life. So you gotta be honest with yourself people are you working with people that bring you down you go out on a Friday night just because they’re sitting next to you, maybe they’re not the best people to go out with maybe you should stop pointing other people maybe you should go to a new gym, you go to night, not nightclubs, I’m night classes, where people are taking action, maybe you go for a country walk, connect with Ramblers, or whatever, anybody who’s getting out and about and actually doing stuff, running clubs, they’re great, you know, you got to be really motivated to do that. But are positive, powerful presences all around you. But you just got to tap into them. Now, I always say to people, I think it’s like the success vacuum, you get rid of all the bad stuff so Cut off your loser friends. And it just sits sort of vacant for a while and you think oh, I don’t know the right thing. You know, I haven’t seen anyone for a while.
And little by little, it leaves the space for the good people to find you and come into your life. Okay, it’s really, really important to do. So think about it, think about it, and but everybody out there that isn’t getting a real positive response for me like you have. It’s purely the case. But I’ve been doing it to boy for five years now. And I’ve got to change my energy to focus in on the right people, because that will help other people and the support gratitude groups that we’re doing, which are taking off, you know, if you’ve got this problem, and you haven’t got the right people around you, when are sorted out for you, you know, we will create a group, we will get positive motivational people in bed little by little. And because they’re local to you, then that is your group that is your peer group. And you can change direction and you can power forward to what you want. It’s all available to you. You’ve just got to connect with us and do the right thing. And that is, you know, make decisions, make difficult decisions, but make it right for your life. Don’t drag around the dead word because it’s not good for you. And it’s not good for them. Okay, think about it. Now away from back.
What else have I got to tell you? Well, I’m this Tuesday, coming up, which is the ninth of July. Obviously, if you’re listening to this at the back episode, then apologies you missed out. But you can always come over to the website, because I’m doing some work. We’re going through another business masterclass, where I’m going to teach you how to create an online business. And I’m going to also be showing you the mistakes that people make, I think it’s hard. And I always say to people, it’s hard, easy, you know, actually building it is quite easy. But you’ve got to get the clarity, you’ve got to get the idea, you’ve got to know where your customer is, you’ve got to know whether the right customer is, you know, I’ve said about a guy the other day called Martin, in seven weeks, he’s gone from not knowing what he wants to do to having two members of staff, you know, because he’s got the idea. And once you get the idea, and you get the focus and you understand where your strengths and your talents come into it. It’s not hard, it’s hard, easy, you’ve got to be out but to get that and that’s what I’m going to show you in the master class.
So if you want that come over to join, Join Up Dots, get yourself a place and I will see you live. And until next time, Look after yourselves be happy, be motivated. Get in the gratitude groups, the mindset groups, let’s start finding the people that can make a difference in your life. And bottom line Look around you and if there’s somebody that’s sucking the energy out of you and making your life worse because Bear Bear main bear, not your bf no matter how long they’ve been in your life, and you’ve got to make the decisions to cut them off. focus in on the good people in your life will change. Ever. Thank you so much for always listening to Join Up Dots. And I’ll see you again soon. Cheers. Join me each month as I show you how you can follow our process to start an own your own life changing online business. This is business master class at its best. Head over to Join Up Dots.com and book your place for the next training session. And I’ll see you there