Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Mr Danny Dover
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Introducing Danny Dover
Danny Dover is today’s guest on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview.
He is a man who has packed more into his last few years, than many people do in a lifetime for sure.
I guess unlike many people who want to make their mark on the world, he started at a very low point indeed.
A low point that these achievements would have probably seemed impossible to others to tackle.
But not to him.
Danny Dover was diagnosed as clinically depressed, overweight, with limited motivation, he knew he had to do something and do something fast.
So Danny asked himself some deep questions, such as “Why Am I Here? and then started taking action.
How The Dots Started Joining Up For Danny
When you start achieving things in your life, you create a momentum that is unstoppable.
This leads you to greater and greater belief that everything is possible…..a complete turnaround to where he was at the beginning.
His professional life began flourishing, his personal life improved he created his own company.
Which lead Danny Dover to publishing his first bestseller “SEO Secrets”, presenting to crowds of interested folk who flocked to hear his message, he knew it was time to reevaluate once more.
So Danny increased his focus on self development and happiness, and created his first “Life List” which quite simply he states “Was the best decision he ever made!”
Setting himself a target to achieve 150 things by May 25th 2017, he set off on an adventure which is nothing short of inspiring.
He lost 60 pounds, ran a marathon, sold/donated all his possessions until only owning less than 100 things, paid off all of his debts, became much more spiritual, visited all 7 continents, reconnected with friends and family and became happier than he had ever been before.
And with items such as flying a plan, being on a chat show, seeing Mt Everest, getting a six pack, and living in the wilderness for a month, being just a few items on the list you can see it is a stretch of belief, as much as perseverance.
So let’s introduce today’s guest, and we’ll see if being a guest on “Join Up Dots” was on his list too….I’ll be disappointed if it wasn’t.
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Danny Dover.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Danny Dover such as:
Why he should have had a tattoo (that he has got in a private place) done so it reads backwards!
How he knows how to develop a life in crime….and make it financially viable on a global scale!
How he created a list of 150 things to do in life, and started it all with a simple shave!
What he is going to do when he completes his “Life List”
How he modelled himself on Tom Selleck, and looks back in shame!
How To Connect With Danny Dover
If you are inspired by Danny’s interview with us on Join Up Dots, then check out the second time he visited to carry on his amazing story here
You might also like to listen to Ian Usher who sold his life on Ebay and then set off on his own 100 item bucket list.
Audio Transcription Of Danny Dover Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:24]
Yes, hello there once more. Welcome to Join Up Dots out there in internet land. We’ve got a great one today, and I’ve been looking forward to this one, since it was a pre booked many, many months ago. Today’s guest has quite simply packed more into his last few years, but many people do in a lifetime. And I guess unlike many people who want to make their mark on the world, he started at such a low point and these achievements would have probably seemed impossible to others, but not to him, diagnosis depressed, overweight with limited motivation. He knew he had to do something and do something fast. And so he asked himself some deep questions such as, why am I here? He got his answers, and been started taking action. And when you start achieving things in your life, you create a momentum that is unstoppable and leads you to greater and greater belief that everything is possible. A complete turnaround to where he was at the beginning. his professional life began flourishing. His personal life improved and after creating his own company, publishing his first best seller SEO secrets, presenting to crowds of interested folk who flock to hear his message. He knew it was time to reevaluate once more, he increased his focus on self development and happiness, and created his first life lyst which quite simply he states was the best decision he ever made, setting himself a target to achieve 150 things by May the 25th 2017 he set off on an adventure, which is nothing short of inspiring. He lost 60 pounds, ran a marathon sold ordinated audiences sessions until only owning 100 things paid up all these debts became much more spiritual visited all seven continents, reconnected with friends and family. And if that wasn’t enough, he became happier than he ever been before. And with items such as flying a plane, being on the chat show, seeing Mount Everest, getting a six pack, and actually living in the wilderness for a month. being just a few items on the list. You can see it’s a stretch of belief as much as perseverance. So let’s introduce today’s guest, and we’ll see if being a guest on Join Up Dots was on his list too. And I’ll tell you, I’ll be disappointed if it wasn’t Welcome to the show. Mr. Life lyst himself, Danny Dover. How are you, sir?
Danny Dover [2:42]
I’m doing great. David, thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
David Ralph [2:44]
No, it is absolutely great to have you here. And that is the first question I need to ask on that list was being a guest on Join Up Dots. And I’ll be disappointed if you lie to me, sir.
Danny Dover [2:56]
Okay, well, I have a policy not to add things. But for you, I could make an exception
David Ralph [2:59]
for Thank you very much. You can squeeze it on 150 152 and then just sort of cross cross it off when you get the word. You’ve you’ve had an amazing life, haven’t you? As I said it sort of in in the introduction. When we first walked in this, this interview, I started sort of reading things about you. And the more I read, the more I wanted to talk to you because it’s been a it’s been a wow, in such a short few years. Does it doesn’t amaze you really, when you sort of look back and think where you were to where you are now, what’s actually occurred?
Danny Dover [3:32]
Absolutely, I live an entirely different life now. And more importantly, that I’m happier. And other people know that. And I think I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve ever been able to make other people happier as well. They’re going through this journey.
David Ralph [3:44]
What Why do you think that why why people becoming happier because of your ventures?
Danny Dover [3:51]
Well, for a couple reasons. One, the people who are important in my life, who I think love me, they see me happier, and that makes them happier. But more to a direct point, I’ve been able to involve a lot of people with these with these lifeless items that I’ve been doing. So it’s very common now that when I’m doing a lifeless Adam, I’m with one or more people who are important to me.
David Ralph [4:10]
So if we still go right back to the very beginning, in this order, as we call it, the dark ages of your life. your family and your friends love the Danny Dover but you are now they’re happier, because you’re happier. Did you realise that you was in such a dark state at that time? Or was it just such a gradual progression over a period of time? Like when a son is getting taller and taller? and taller? You don’t see it? Because you were in the same house as him? Was? Was that the case? Or were they aware that you were not in a happy place?
Danny Dover [4:45]
Well, actually, I think it’s exactly the sun analogy used it, it took a long time for me to get to that dark space. And I think that’s how it was able to sneak up on me, there wasn’t a quick fix, because I didn’t understand that there was a problem. And the people around me didn’t understand that there was a problem until I really hit rock bottom. And at that point that realised they needed a big fix. And that’s when I started working on it.
David Ralph [5:04]
But what what was the cause of the depression that don’t faze bear? Because you seem to have most things that other people had? At that time of your life? You had a loving family, you had a support network. But was it just a dark cloud that come across you? Or was there situations that sort of led to it?
Danny Dover [5:23]
You know, it really was not black and white, I don’t think there was one specific element that had created it, I think it was just want a chemical imbalance in my brain and to just a general feeling of being stagnant.
David Ralph [5:37]
Because I was talking the other day to a gentleman called Steve and she Wang. And he is the mentor. And he helps men develop relationships and deal with ups or personal problems. And he was saying that he was in a very dark phase for a long period of his life, probably a first off 30 years of his life. And he hated anyone on the planet side of the fence, because they couldn’t quite understand why he was building that way. And they would generally say, you know, what have you got to worry about? Pull yourself together? You know, don’t worry about it. life could be worse. I’m somebody who really I’m very, very fortunate. I’ve never had a dump phase in my life at all. I’ve always been on the happy side of the fence. Would I have irritated you at that time of your life being in a positive state? Or were you somebody that went to work played a part, but then sort of them went back into that that that protective zone once you got home?
Danny Dover [6:38]
Sure. So I don’t think I would have been annoyed by someone who was expressing positive energy. If anything, I think I would have been jealous, because that was something I wanted to experience myself. There were elements of my life that were going well, but I was really lacking fulfilment. And that’s what was wearing out out. That’s what was wearing at me day by day.
David Ralph [6:56]
So what was going well for you?
Danny Dover [7:00]
Well, I think I was comfortable. So there wasn’t anything that was going extremely well, I don’t think I was in or any kind of romantic relationship. I had a family that I was pretty close to but we could have been closer. Money I was doing okay, but I certainly wasn’t rich. And I was kind of getting by really in general. In life. A good way to describe it was I was getting by things were sort of happening, but certainly not fast and not any direction as planned.
David Ralph [7:25]
So you’re the same as millions of millions of other people. Well, I call it contentment zone. Life isn’t too bad. But you do anything about it isn’t too good. But you celebrate it. You just saw upload on day after day after day.
Danny Dover [7:39]
Exactly. I was just kind of going through the motions because that at that time in my life, that was the only option that I saw.
David Ralph [7:46]
What was your your plan in life before then, because obviously, we aren’t going to come on to the life list. That’s not a major part of the conversation. But it’s certainly something that sort of would interest most of the listeners because I think that is something that most of the listeners if I had the chance, would like to do that. But away from the sort of the fantasies side of your lifestyle. When you was sort of a young boy, before you started going off to work in that what what was your plan in life? What were you looking forward to doing?
Danny Dover [8:19]
Well, it certainly didn’t have a plan. I knew what I enjoyed. I knew that I really was passionate about the internet, but I didn’t know what that meant. There wasn’t any degree that you can get in the internet and, and mostly Well, in most cases, there isn’t even till today, even today. I knew that that that is what i what i love but I didn’t know anything more than that. And maybe I had a goal rough goal. And and that’s what I want to do. But I didn’t know how to do it.
David Ralph [8:42]
What was your first computer then?
Danny Dover [8:46]
Oh, boy, this would go way back. And it was some kind of gateway computer. And I can’t honestly tell you any of the aspects of it. I guess actually, now that Think about it. The rip, the first computer I got was in my elementary school I grew up in Redmond, which is where Microsoft is a time Apple, Apple was doing a war with Microsoft over getting tech getting technology in schools. And so I was a lucky benefactor of that. So the first computer I actually used was a Mac. I know that it was terminal base. So it couldn’t start up by itself. I had to use a mainframe, but I don’t remember the which model it was.
David Ralph [9:20]
I think my first one I’d go back even further, was either a Commodore VIC 20 or a Commodore 64. Do you remember those ones?
Danny Dover [9:29]
I do. I’ve actually done a fair amount of research on those just because it comes up fairly often in discussions like this,
David Ralph [9:33]
if I do and used to have a big round peg used to jam in the pain to sort of play games and, and play tapes and stuff. very archaic. It is it’s unbelievable. Now really, when you look back on those days, how excited we were on on things that were so unbelievably primitive, you know that there was no way that you could have imagined plugging into a computer and speaking to somebody across the Atlantic Ocean as easily as we’re doing now. And I would be surprised even if the guy is creating the internet, at that time could have perceived really where we could go with it now.
Danny Dover [10:10]
Yep, I absolutely agree. That’s, I feel very lucky to be living now. And it was such incredible time, I was so much opportunity with technology. And really I think you make making humanity better.
David Ralph [10:21]
Did you think there is more opportunity because of the internet, but sort of positive? Because it is there’s there’s an equal ability for good and bad on the internet isn’t there?
Danny Dover [10:32]
You know, a sure. See what the internet is just like any tool it it can do. It can only enable you to do other things, but how you want to use it is up to you or up to the individual is taking part.
David Ralph [10:46]
So So what’s your favourite thing on computers you sit at home? And a lot of your life is based professionally around the internet and PCs and SEO. So what what is your fun element of life when you’re actually sitting at home? doing computer work?
Danny Dover [11:03]
Sure. So the the part that draws me to the internet that I just I really love is that we have the most remarkable system that we’ve ever come that humanity’s ever coming up ever come up with. And the things that people are using it for just blow my mind, right? It’s a lot of like porn and law cats and silly cartoons, when really we have more computing power than like, then then could be imaginable and just the juxtaposition there. And just the randomness of what’s going on. And the freedom of information that allows just blows my mind and entertains me every day.
David Ralph [11:32]
I don’t know if you know the answer to this, but I’ve heard this two or three times they might be an urban myth. But you’re more sort of clued up on them sort of the that the background of the internet. But I’ve heard about three or four times that 90% of the internet is based around pornography. Do you think that’s true? Or is that just a figure that people band about?
Danny Dover [11:52]
I think that’s actually a myth. So if you look at it from a data perspective, and only go into this briefly, most of the traffic is going on the internet is either torrents or movies. And there’s no way for us to know if that’s adult content or not. But with streaming services, like Netflix, especially it’s looking like it’s legitimate, or a man legit, it’s not the right word, but more common movies or more culturally acceptable movies, that kind of thing.
David Ralph [12:17]
So So where would you like to take the computers? I’m going to get off this phone. But it’s interesting me at the moment. So I’m gonna go with it. Where would you like the internet to be output to go in the next few years? Have you got anything in your head? But you you sit there thinking? Wouldn’t it be amazing if it can do this? But at the moment? We’re not at that point.
Danny Dover [12:36]
Sure. So ubiquity is what I would was what I would like. So I want that both the internet and the computer. So there’s a there’s a famous paper that was written in Xerox PARC, I believe in the 80s, called ubiquitous computing. And it was about this idea that computers are eventually get to a state where it’s as common and ubiquitous and cheap as paper. So you just you do something on and then throw it away. Yeah, never think twice about it. And I want to get that direction. And then the other part of this is, with internet connexion itself, it needs to be extremely fast, it needs to be wireless and need to be global. So we’re moving are slowly moving there. But it’s not it’s not quite where I want it to be.
David Ralph [13:08]
So speed and ease of access for everyone,
Danny Dover [13:11]
that every single person. Yes, exactly. Right.
David Ralph [13:14]
Because that that would really blow everything open, wouldn’t it? If some child in in a village in the middle of Africa was got, you know, Wi Fi connexion and the ability to self educate? I suppose. It would certainly take the world. And it would certainly, I suppose, solve a lot of the problems out there, but a caused by simple lack of education.
Danny Dover [13:38]
I think that’s exactly right. One of the things inspires me a lot about the technology community is that many people are self taught, they just got it because they have a love for Learning and Technology was their school.
David Ralph [13:49]
So with your travels around the world, with your hundred and 50, life lyst points, have you gone into towns and default to yourself? I could do something amazing here just by providing them one pc? Or is it as not as easy as about because I haven’t got the infrastructure, the WiFi and all the other bits that you need to sort of tie on?
Unknown Speaker [14:13]
Well, certainly a large problem.
Danny Dover [14:17]
And I don’t actually think that just providing the computer is is the is the answer there. So there’s a there’s a nonprofit called I don’t remember how to look it up and send it to in the show notes. But it’s about a One Laptop per Child, I’m actually may be the name of it. And they found that even though this had wireless access, and it was extremely cheap computer, I think it was less than $100 out of this didn’t turn out to be the solution because the infrastructure didn’t exist yet. So other companies like Google are trying to fix the infrastructure. One of the more interesting project is using balloons in the atmosphere to provide wireless routers over remote areas in Africa and Australia right now.
David Ralph [14:53]
Which is once again is amazing that they’re even considering that believable, okay, Danny, um, what I want to do is just jump back to when your life started sort of moving forward when you took those, those positive statements of intent. And you asked those questions and that incredibly deep questions, but almost simple as well, in that structure. Why am I here? What made you think those questions in the first place when you’re sitting at home, knowing that you’re not in a good place, knowing that you’ve got to do something about it? What made you actually ask those kinds of questions, because I don’t think I would have done I think I would have just stumbled into something and then try to stumble into something else. But it was almost like you, you structured a plan? Is that because of the way that your brain generally works? Because you’re involved in sort of computers and structuring that kind of thing? What What, what brought that along?
Danny Dover [15:55]
Well, I don’t know exactly, I can tell you that when I was suffering from depression, my main symptom was that I didn’t have any motivation. And the result of this was that I was spending a lot of time doing absolutely nothing. So what I tried to do was start asking me some questions, why am I not doing something? And by following that line of reason, I always ended up with this question of why am I here? What am I doing. And then I started, I started tackling that and started doing a little bit of research, when you’re when I was diagnosed with depression. And when I was going through the process, I wasn’t really accomplishing anything, like I had things that I wanted to do, or knew that I had to do. I was in school at the time, and just failing out in the process of doing that. So I would I found just talking to people was kind of the easiest thing to do. And started to realise it, at least in my mind that the answer to why are you here doesn’t really matter, the more important aspect of it is just choosing something and committing yourself to that. So when I came to that conclusion, I was like, Okay, that sounds right to me. But I don’t know how to attack that I didn’t have very much money at the time, I certainly didn’t have any motivation. I don’t even think I own a car. So I wouldn’t be able to get these kind of places. Yeah, I’m sort of chipping away at that just a little bit at a time. And that I think is how I sort of make progress. The The hardest part of any major project in life, is just overcoming inertia is getting the momentum that’s required to get through the hard parts. That’s, that’s what I started to do,
David Ralph [17:18]
which is what I touched on in the, in the introduction, once you start to take action, you build up a belief system, you can actually see things happening around you were at the beginning, you must have sat there going, this isn’t gonna work, I might as well do what I’m doing now, you know, having all those doubts and fears that everybody has when they go into something new. So it’s, it really is fascinating for me, but you say that you’ve got the lack of motivation. But to be able to do that, and break free from your surroundings is probably one of the most motivational things you’ve ever done, and you will ever do. It don’t I don’t quite get how you can do that. At that point. If you’re at your lowest of your low, how you suddenly managed to break free from the quicksand and start making that sort of momentum.
Danny Dover [18:11]
Well, it was very slow and things that were very easy for me to accomplish at the beginning. And I did this. I can’t say this, purposely I did this out of necessity was the only the only thing that I could do. So creating a list itself was not that was not particularly hard. But when I was able to do is start tackling things that were very, very low hanging fruit. So I think the first thing that I did was get a straight razor shave. And the reason I did that was because I needed to shave anyways. So I just helped me get the first item done. I
David Ralph [18:40]
actually saw your Ted speech. And Barry says that photo of you in a living room with a lady with a quite a quite a Tom Selleck moustache you had going on there?
Danny Dover [18:52]
Yeah, I still get a comments about that. So uh, I don’t know what I was doing at that point. That was a that was a bad call. But the straight razor shave, unfortunately, was just from the moustache down. I should have been wised up and and kept going with it.
David Ralph [19:07]
Yeah, because that is not that. I don’t mean that ever was a good look. Other than that, Tom Selleck and porn stars. I think they’re the only ones that have those kind of moustaches.
Danny Dover [19:16]
I think UFC right, also was quite overweight, and just had a lot of stuff going on in my life at that point. So it wasn’t, it was not a hot item.
David Ralph [19:25]
I want to notice there’s a market for everyone out there.
Unknown Speaker [19:28]
I guess. So I guess there’s a lot of people out there.
David Ralph [19:30]
Yeah. Which is the beauty of the internet. Yeah, it is. There’s a market for everyone. So So you went had you shave? And then you did? What’s the next thing? Can you remember the next thing
Danny Dover [19:44]
I believe the next thing was a trip that my family had scheduled for me. So I wasn’t actually required to that it wasn’t far away. I want to say it was visiting family, I think three hours away. So this one started to move need a little bit on travel. So that item wasn’t actually itself a bike with that, um, but it was pushing me in the direction of, hey, you have these ability to travel, even if you’re just a tourist in your own town or your state in this example.
David Ralph [20:10]
And did you want to do that travel? Or was Did you? Did you feel pushed into it? Because your parents were enjoying it?
Danny Dover [20:16]
Well, I mean, it’s kind of funny. So travel is one of the things that I think everybody wants to do they having troubles, the closest we have travelling locations that closest we have to time travelling, and so that everyone wants to but there’s lots of excuses that come up. Travel is it can be expensive in many cases is, and it’s certainly a new, you have to overcome a lot of things that are outside of your routine, and there’s going to be a lot of unknowns and all that stuff is very scary. So why did say I want to travel, I think I was still frightened by it. So at that point, just by making a small little trip that helps break down those walls a little bit, certainly break them down entirely, but it helped it helped me start start making progress.
David Ralph [20:52]
Because I don’t think I would have done that trip myself. I have a kind of character flaw. I suppose that if I feel I’m being pushed into anything, I’ve been suddenly get me heels in and I’m not going to do it. If somebody it’s sort of asked me quite politely, would you like to come? It will do us a great favour, I’m likely to go. But if I felt that they were arranging a trip just to push me out of my comfort zone, it would never happen.
Danny Dover [21:17]
Yeah, I could see that. I think I was just tired of when I was at my lowest point. I wasn’t really doing anything. I mean, I basically spent all day in bed. So I don’t think I was even saying no, or, or even going didn’t bother and doing the arguments, I was just finally fine. And just kind of going through the going through the motions, like I mentioned,
David Ralph [21:35]
just get pushed across to aunty Lino, wherever you are going.
Unknown Speaker [21:39]
David Ralph [21:41]
Now, actually setting up your list. Had you already happened published your your book and built your first company, I couldn’t quite get to the gist of whether the list was the starting point of everything. Or the list came after I kind of sensed it where it was an afternoon was the momentum that you’d created. Actually, getting out of bed and going off to your relatives, having a shave kind of incremental challenges had pushed you your professional side to the forefront. And then the list building came afterwards when I be writing that?
Danny Dover [22:18]
Well, it happened kind of at the same time. So the first iteration of the list was actually from when I was very young and had a lot of things on it, they were not even possible. So it was when a Super Bowl, an Academy Award. And I think at Tony, all in the same year. So these were things that weren’t even possible, but it was it was kind of the seed of an idea. So I think I stumbled upon that and was just kind of laughing about him, and and took off the things that weren’t important to me. So one of the things was owning, I think it was a Lamborghini, Ferrari and some other supercar all at the same time. And that’s, that’s not important to me. It wasn’t when I was even when I was doing this. So during the initial iterations on the list that came around the same time when I went to go get that shave, and do that little trip, the next step in this, which is talking to friends and family about what had made an impact on their life, what was something that was truly important. And after we got through all the crap, it ended up being things like adventures, they’d had times and experiences they’d had with people they cared about, and either travel places they went or food they eaten. So it’s like, okay, I like these themes. And this kept coming up again, and again, with different people in different parts of my life. And then from there, I started taking their suggestions and adding them to what became my list that I have today. And then after get a little momentum, kept buying people, my little trick that I was using was buy coffee for people who I really respected who I might not otherwise get a meeting with. And it turns out that people, some of these people were quite successful in their own right, either through various awards, because of the professional work, or because they just been doing quite well and say their family work or, or whatnot, they were willing to grab coffee with me and tell me about what had been meaningful in their life. And from that, I created a list and then from there, it happened going as those poor myself out of out of depression.
David Ralph [24:03]
Because that’s a key point to the majority of conversations that I’ve been having with people. That if you reach out for somebody who is kind of untouchable in your mind, when you start to create momentum for yourself, quite often, they are willing to give you time, just the fact that you’re here. Now speaking to me, you don’t know me from Adam, this is the first time that we’ve ever connected, but you allocated time to a complete stranger, because I asked for help. It’s, it still blows my mind every single day that I sit there and I think, Okay, I got Danny Dover today, wow, this is gonna be amazing. I can get to, you know, tap into the brain of somebody who is so far in advance to where I am with the challenges that he’s overcome and the experiences he’s had. But he still says, Yes, Does that surprise you still, when you sit down for a cup of coffee, coffee with people are you at the level now where you’re so your fame is spreading, and you’re known for numerous things, and it is more level playing field?
Danny Dover [25:11]
Well, there’s actually two things here, I learned these much later in my, in my career, or my life, the first thing is a great way to meet somebody is to interview them, because people are generally quite vain. And they, they want to have an interview about them, people enjoy talking about themselves. And I’m certainly no exception to them. And so if someone asked me for an interview, that’s a really, really great way of so I go through and do interviews of other people so that I have a chance to meet them and talk with them. And that’s been really helpful. The second part of this is that there’s a lot of other things that are happening in the background, like, in fact, this team of Join Up Dots, you reached out to me and I, I am, I caught on to the reference the Steve Jobs speech, because one of the major influences in my life when I was going through in the beginning stages of pulling myself out was also that same commencement speech made by Steve Jobs, specifically as part about dogma. And that part really struck me a lot. And that’s kind of a core part of my storey, or at least what I’ve been striving to do. And so you made that connexion with me, probably without you even knowing it. It’s just that we have that in common. Yeah. A lot of times, when you reach out to people, there’ll be something like that, maybe it’ll be some off comment, you make it something that you don’t plan, it’s certainly not strategic. But that’s the reason that while people will say yes, when you don’t expect them to, because there’s something that is not quite under your control or something you understand, that’s also making an impact.
David Ralph [26:30]
With the speech It is, it is iconic, isn’t it as it’s gone down in history. And I would love to know, and I’ve said this numerous times to people, but I would love to know whether when he was writing it, he thought, Oh, God, I’ve got to do a speech tomorrow, I better throw down a few ideas. Or he felt like, Okay, I’m not very well, at the moment, I’m struggling. health wise, I need to leave something very profound for generations, because it is something that is met one person who said to me, oh, I don’t know that. And bear in mind, you know, he’s an American businessman, and a lot of us over in this or the United Kingdom and the world. But it’s travelled, it really has travelled, and it’s the simplicity that I think makes it so effective. I’m going to play it now. And being just the centre part, the theme to the show. And then I just want to sort of ask you, if you could remember when you first heard it, and how it’s all made, you feel you’ve already said there’s a connexion to that. So um, I just want to delve into that a little bit more.
Steve Jobs [27:32]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the country confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [28:07]
Now, you’ve obviously heard that and read that 2030 hundred times whatever it is, does it still have the same impact on you now hearing that, but it did the first time?
Danny Dover [28:18]
It does, because I think every time that I hear it, I understand a little bit more how true it is. I think that’s really why this touched so many people because it’s one of those universal truths, or at least So it certainly seems like it is. And it’s those things that really make an impact on humanity.
David Ralph [28:33]
Do you think your path was destiny? Do you think karma did play a part in where you are today?
Danny Dover [28:44]
Well, I don’t know about destiny. Exactly. But I think that karma played a bit in that by by treating others, like you’d like to be treated, things tend to turn out better. And I think that that that absolutely made an impact on on this experience.
David Ralph [28:58]
In what way vo treating people because I had a manager years ago. And the thing that people always used to say was treat people as you would like to be treated. And if this manager once said to me, no, that’s wrong. And I said, What do you mean, it’s wrong? And he said, No, you need to treat people as they would want to be treated. And it had a sort of fundamental shift in my brain, but day and I thought, yeah, that’s right. How can I be presumptuous about treating them the way that I would like, I’ve got to sort of get under their skin. So how do you go about that? How do you connect with people and treat them in the right way? If you if you’re meeting, you know, you’re meeting hundreds of people imagine now, on almost a daily basis, how do you manage to connect with all those people to leave a positive result from that interaction?
Danny Dover [29:48]
Well, I don’t think that I don’t think it’s a formula or strategy or anything, I just I just try to try to treat people the way that I would like to be treated. If I was meeting another individual, I think it’s just going to be simple as that I don’t have any framework or or tips in that regard. I just do what feels right and follow that and react to the conversation as it’s going through and just try to keep positive.
David Ralph [30:12]
Do the same things work worldwide, Danny,
Danny Dover [30:16]
you know, I found they have especially so language is a big is a big issue around to as you’re travelling internationally. And I’ve found that body language is extremely expressive. I contact extremely expressive, simple, polite touches, extremely expressive. And I found that those things, from what I’ve experienced, at least are universal.
David Ralph [30:36]
When when you’ve been in sort of really remote places. I’ve travelled quite extensively. And I find that the times when I can’t actually speak the language, or the times I almost make a deeper connexion with them. Because it is all based on body language. Have you experienced that kind of thing?
Danny Dover [30:55]
I have a know it’s funny. I think a lot of language is just small talk. A lot of the conversations we have you aren’t really say anything. But when you remove that medium for communication, then the only things that are left are things that are more true and more as a universal. And so because of that, you can’t it’s impossible have small talk. Yeah, definitely. I think that makes an impact on people.
David Ralph [31:15]
Everything becomes rule, doesn’t it rule an open and sort of genuine on that hasn’t been any places where you’ve, you’ve travelled because it’s on the list? And actually, I’m going to sort of ask a wider question on this, because you’re sitting down there 10 years ago, whatever it was, now, probably about five years ago, and you were writing these hundred and 50 things. And when you look at them, some of these are kind of mind blowing, because I’ve tried to write my own list today. And you get to 10. Quite easy, and you get to 20. And then 30 is becoming a bit sort of fantasy world and 42. So 250 things, has there been anything on there? And I just need to sort of preempt this, you have got two rules. Could you tell the listeners what the rules on the list are?
Danny Dover [32:03]
Sure. So the rules are, I cannot remove or add anything to the list. And I must complete the entire list. And it’s without any modifications before May 25 2017.
David Ralph [32:13]
And how did you actually benchmark that date?
Danny Dover [32:19]
So one of the know one of the things about this, so I arbitrarily picked it, although I do want to say that it was my birthday. And actually that was not that the reason I picked up this date was because that’s a date. That’s important to me, but I did not choose it because it was my birthday. That was just the first one that came to mind. And then I got that tattooed as my deadline.
David Ralph [32:40]
And where did you get it tattooed?
Unknown Speaker [32:42]
I got it tattooed on my butt. You
David Ralph [32:44]
know, I pick that up in your your Ted speech. And if anybody’s seen that go on to YouTube and type in and Danny Dover, Ted speech, and you’ll find his presentation. And at the very last minute, a lady comes on and sort of asked you that question, then the video cuts off? Did you actually show your bum to the audience?
Danny Dover [33:06]
I did not. I did not I made a policy of not doing that. Because you know,
David Ralph [33:11]
so no, I just don’t think that no one’s seen it. No one’s seen it.
Danny Dover [33:16]
and stuff. Yeah, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it backwards and mirrors many times. That was something I didn’t think about until after I got the tattoo. And there’s been some other key people in my life losing it.
David Ralph [33:25]
Yeah, that’s really because I suppose what you should have done is like, like the words ambulance is always written backwards. So you can see it in your review mirror, you should have it done in reverse. And when you’re in the mirror, it makes sense to suppose
Unknown Speaker [33:38]
if anyone is thinking like in tattoo on the backside of their body, this is this is certainly something to keep in mind. This is a key point in every, every
David Ralph [33:45]
every show, I want to have a message out to people that they can take away. And if you are thinking of tattooing your backside, do it in reverse. So you can see in the movie, I think that’s true. I think we’ve hit the point of the showdown. I think that is that’s the fundamental point. Now, getting back to the actual sort of list, as I was saying, you write in 150 things and you’re sort of whizzing down, you can’t take anything
Unknown Speaker [34:09]
David Ralph [34:10]
There must be things that once you get to them are similar to other things that you’ve done, and you haven’t liked, you can’t like all of them. And are there some things that you’re kind of leaving to the bottom of that list? Because you think, oh, I don’t really fancy vs. I know, I put it on there. But actually, I’ll leave that to the very last.
Danny Dover [34:30]
Well, not exactly. So there, I haven’t found any two items to be similar, because most of the list I think about might not be most, I think it’s only about a third, maybe a little more than that is travel related. So going to one city has elements are like going to another international city. But there’s different experiences that happen in each of them. And there’s different people that mean each of them. So that makes them unique and interesting. The one that I’ve been putting off a lot is getting a patent. So I have an idea or a process for evaluating expertise. And then I have a process written out for that’s documented. But I’ve not actually started the paperwork. I’m not a fan of doing lots of rigorous paperwork and, and spending the money to do this. So this is one that I’ve been putting off.
David Ralph [35:08]
Because I wouldn’t put that on the list. If there was anything too hard, or fancy that I don’t think I would have put it on the list in the first place. You must have known what you were like at that stage. If you’re lacking motivation to even get out of bed, the thought of doing something which is so removed to you now in your powerful superhero state. I can’t see I can’t see how it got on the list in the first place.
Danny Dover [35:34]
Well, so that came from meeting with some co workers who had just gotten a patent. And they said that this was one of the most meaningful, meaningful things that happened their life and actually talked about talking them about them yesterday, I met up with them again, and ask them about this. And they said that, yes, that was still one of the most meaningful things into their lives. So I’m happy to have on my list. I haven’t experienced yet. I haven’t done it. But I have high hopes.
David Ralph [35:53]
What has been the craziest thing that you want when you were actually doing it? You were thinking? Number one, I can’t believe I put this on the list. And number two, I can’t believe that everyone doesn’t do this, because it’s so amazing.
Danny Dover [36:08]
Okay, I have a few answers to that. So I have pickpocketing learning how to do that. That’s something that was just incredibly stressful and nerve wracking. And still a lot It was much more mental than it was learning the techniques with this sleight of hand. So there’s that there is something I did last week, which was experienced zero gravity, which was absolutely fantastic. And then there was Argentina, but I want to talk more about Argentina. So Argentina, I moved to Buenos Aires, this was my first major. This was my first major bucket list item that I did. So prior to that I had only travelled internationally to neighbouring countries. And this one, I was ready to jump ship, I had just been fired from my job had a loop. This was the farther into the process for context. So I had a little bit of money saved up. And I knew that there was a lot of bucket list items that had to happen in South America, I did some research to check with some people who I really respected. So I read a lot of their work and then seen that they lived in Buenos Aires, and made that leap. And that one was one of the most important ones on my list for me and from a development perspective. Because after I was able to leave the country that I was born in, go to a country that I had knew almost nothing about. I didn’t speak the language. I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t sure how initially how I was gonna make money. After I got over that and realise that I’d be okay. Then I really established a lot trust myself. And that’s what was able to propel me forward after that event.
David Ralph [37:35]
Getting back to pickpocketing, that’s quitting. That’s criminal.
Danny Dover [37:39]
It is it is. This is actually this is actually one of the reasons why this one was so hard. And so you you’d mentioned crazy. And I agree with that. So my whole life I’ve been taught not to steal and it doesn’t feel good to steal. So this one was very hard not because the technique itself, but because you actually didn’t do it. So when I did it, it was in Seattle, it was back in the area where I had grown up in the time. And I’ll get the short version of this. So I was at a big, big party event is like a big music event. And I was telling myself, okay, this is a perfect time to do it based on my training I’d done before and found someone who had it was a holiday event or Halloween. So people are dressed up in costumes and found someone dressed up as a tourist. I was like, Okay, well the situation’s perfect. So ended up ended up using the techniques that I learned I kind of moved got into the person’s bubble without being intimidating about it. def there, and I’m threatening way, bumped up against them a few times just so they’d be generally okay with the idea in a subconscious level. And then did it real quick that a fanny pack on and just grabbed it from there, walked away to make sure get away and then went back to the person and gave it back. So it wasn’t actually doing any theft. That way it can make me feel good about it. The funny thing was that when I did that, and give it back to the person that said, Oh, thank you bro and tried to hand me money as a reward.
Which I probably turned down but
David Ralph [38:56]
I thought that was quite funny. You’ve got mobiles?
Unknown Speaker [38:59]
I got I guess.
David Ralph [39:00]
Yeah, but but where do you Where do you learn pickpocketing because I’ve never seen an advert? Do you want to be a pickpocket? Do you want to make a quick, easy buck by stealing strangers? Come come to evening classes for hours a week for five weeks? And we will teach you how do you find somebody that can teach you to pickpocket and become a criminal.
Danny Dover [39:22]
So that was one of the hurdles I ran into with this bucket list item was that I when I looked around, I first just googled around and started going through Amazon and trying to see if there any books about it. I couldn’t find any good sources. Because the people were doing this well don’t want to teach it to other people. So what I eventually did was what I was living first in Argentina is I would just sit down, have coffee at an outdoor location there’s watch people pickpocketing so there’s usually younger people, so just watch their techniques. And that would that would be it. And then in Spain, I did something very similar. I was living in Barcelona at the time. And I just found a great cafe on lyst rhombus, which is where a lot of tourists hang out and unfortunate lot of pic blockers. And I spotted this guy who would pickpocket somebody. And then every single time he would do it immediately afterwards, a nearby police officer would kind of not add him and kind of give him a stern look and and the guy would give back whatever he had taken. And he just did that loop all day. He never got anything out of it. And I still don’t understand that part of the storey. I don’t know why that happened. I think maybe they were related. That’s what I got from body language. This guy was just spending his time doing that. But but from that I could watch him do the same cycle over and over and over again so that I can internalise it.
David Ralph [40:29]
Can you can you still pickpocket now?
Danny Dover [40:32]
I haven’t tried. But I imagine I still could.
David Ralph [40:37]
I feel like you are a Fagin character. And you’re you’re learning me into a criminal underworld. You know, you know the internet too? Well, and now you’re you’re a master on the streets as well.
Danny Dover [40:50]
I don’t know about a master, but I was able to do it successfully once
David Ralph [40:54]
going, Okay, I’m not gonna press this too much. But Danny, no one is listening to the show. It’s just you and me. Okay. If anyone is listening, can you just turn it down? Now? Are there any other criminal things on your list?
Danny Dover [41:08]
There were so you can read those for yourself? And you know, I’ll let you identify them that way. But
David Ralph [41:16]
what what’s what’s the major one that you’ve got left? Because I saw that you want to see Mount Everest, but you didn’t say that you want to climb up Mount Everest?
Danny Dover [41:24]
I don’t have been talking to people who have done it. It doesn’t seem like that’s something they want to do. It takes a first of all, it takes a lot of money, I think the permit alone or $30,000. To us,
David Ralph [41:35]
I never realised and then,
Danny Dover [41:37]
yeah, it’s just a personal loan. And then the process takes a whole lot of time. And it’s a lot of sacrifice that I don’t I don’t want to do with me. I’d rather spend my time doing other things. But I do plan on going to base camp. So that’s my general plan there. And I honestly don’t have that figured out quite yet. But but
David Ralph [41:54]
the Nepalese government, I’m assuming they are the ones who own Everest, if anyone owns it might be good owns it. Who knows? They must be making a fortune because I read this something like 100 people going up it every day or coming down every day. You have this image in your head that is just one or two people clinging to a little pickaxe as I as I go up. But there’s not there’s masses of people going up and down and all paying 30,000. Yeah,
Danny Dover [42:19]
I don’t know the specifics exactly how the taxes are distributed. But those are the numbers that I’ve heard. I’ve also heard that there, you now run into traffic jams with people in it, you can’t go up every single day. Obviously, you wouldn’t probably want to attempt it at all in the winter. So you do it during the summer. But you can’t do it any day in the summer, because you have to get the conditions just right. So on the rare days where it’s like where it’s okay to do a climb, you actually want to do a situation when there’s too many people on the other thing, which is the reason I believe they they do permit.
David Ralph [42:47]
I’ve got a chap coming on the show soon. Who is the world record holder going up? Everest, and he’s been to summit 11 times. And he’s Yes. So he’s got a brilliant name, Kenton. Cool. How fantastic is that, that going up the top of Everest.
Unknown Speaker [43:05]
Now, then, now,
Danny Dover [43:07]
the person who was referring to I don’t know saving always I believe it’s the same person. So this is not someone who I know well, by any means. But he gave a speech, wherever I was at the time, and I went to talk to him just briefly afterwards. So I’m sure he has no idea who I am. But he was the one who actually convinced me not to
David Ralph [43:22]
want to climb Mount Everest. Well, he, I don’t know why he would do it 11 times, because I can only perceive I must get a bit boring. What the first time must be amazing, must be exhilarating. The second time must be pretty good as well. By the time you get to about nine or 10 it must be like going to see Titanic 10 times that the pictures, you know, you must know it’s still quite a good film, Oh, my God. And to keep that kind of level of focus to keep going up it and keep coming down it alive when so many people have died. That to me is when I when I talked to him is going to be the key point of the discussion and how do you remain on your game time and time and time. But suppose the same question goes to you because you are on your game all the time to be able to achieve what you have. It’s not something that you just get out of bed and go What am I going to do today? There’s a certain amount of planning towards it. How do you achieve that planning while still doing your your professional life and your your business commitments?
Danny Dover [44:23]
Sure, so I have a trick to moon team momentum. So as I’m doing every bucket list item, I make sure that I have the next one already pre plan. So that means I get the lodging and transportation and event if it’s required already in progress. So that way, I never run into a situation where I don’t already have one in process. And then as far as the same moment, the mental momentum. I mean, I just I just enjoy it. I mean, I wake up every day excited to do this. I think for the last three years I’ve averaged one of these McCullough sevens every week things with the math works out too. So I just enjoy it. This is this is what brings happiness mean, this is what this is what keeps me up late at night and waking up super early to get this stuff done.
David Ralph [45:06]
I think he’s super exciting. I really do. You know, as I say, I I struggled to write a list. And I don’t know if I would have the commitment, you know, I want to one of the things I would like to do is order a coffee from Starbucks without giving them my name. That would be that’d be a good thing. I don’t know why they do that all the time. But I’m just kind of like little challenges that I can sort of overcome. Because I don’t think I have, I don’t think I have the brain to be able to structure a list, which is doable. I think I would instantly go into fantasy world as you were saying with the Tonys and the Oscars and all those kind of thing. I think that’s where I would go and quickly lose momentum. So the idea, I’m sure there’s hundreds of people that have done sort of, you know, life lists and bucket list, but the only two that really strike a chord is yourself. And I think it was john Godard, who was a chap who Yes, who did 127 on these lists or something, which is weird number. I don’t know why I didn’t round it up. But he achieved something like 109 are you sort of I’m aware of of, of the work of Mr. Godard, who unfortunately is no longer with us?
Danny Dover [46:13]
Yes, I certainly am. So I read. He’s wrote two books. I’ve read them twice. I’ve tried to meet him. We found out later actually that we’d been living in the same town in Glendale, California. But unfortunately, never the timing. I didn’t know he was living in when I was living there. And then I find out later so No, I’ve never met him. But yeah, he’s certainly been an inspiration of mine. And he was a big influence early on in this process.
David Ralph [46:35]
So when you come to the end, it’s May the 26th 2017. And you tick to me the 25th. Actually, I but once you finish, so you finish it on May the 25th. And the next day, you’re laying in bed, and you suddenly thing, what do I do? I Are you going to sort of go through the Game of Thrones box sets or you know what? What’s going to take up your time? Can you imagine that? That far down the line?
Danny Dover [47:03]
Yeah, so I thought about this a lot. Because it’s inevitable, it’s going to happen. And I think I’ll actually finished my list a few years early. So when I am in the process of doing knowledge or writing a book about the experience. So that’ll be my big project immediately after it finishes is publishing that and doing that promotional part of it. And then immediately after that, I want to transition into a TV show. So I want to take the spotlight off of me and the things that I’ve done, and I want to put that on to other people. So the idea here would be enabling other people to do it by providing them with the resources. So sometimes it’s just expertise. Sometimes its financial, sometimes it’s just by giving them the time if that’s if that’s something I’m able to do. So that’s that’s what I plan on doing after this list.
David Ralph [47:42]
So you can have herds a pickpocket is going around the world. All people tattooing their backsides willy nilly.
Unknown Speaker [47:50]
That’s right. That’s how I’m gonna finance all of this is with a with a gang of big partners. Perfect, that is perfect.
David Ralph [47:56]
just bringing us to the end, Danny, I’ve loved this conversation, I really, you know, I, I could have gone into so many sort of interesting areas, or gone on to Episode 2345. But I’m aware that the time is ticking away, the end part of the show is very much of what we call the Sermon on the mic, where I hand over the presenting duties to you. And you get a chance to really go back in time and speak to your younger self, about what your beliefs and your sort of understanding of what can be achieved in life. If you take a certain amount of action and a certain amount of path towards a common goal. So I’m going to play a little tune now that we lead into it. And as it fades out, I’m just gonna leave to presenting duties to you, I’m going to remain quiet, because I’m sure you’ve heard enough for me tonight. And I’ll be interested to see what you would actually say to your younger self, this is the Sermon on the mic. Go
Unknown Speaker [48:57]
with the best bit of the show.
Danny Dover [49:14]
Hello, little Danny, there’s one thing that I want to take away from this read is that life has absolutely no speed limit. So right now you’re going through the early stages of school, and you’re realising that some of the classes seem really idiotic and don’t dominate the speed doesn’t seem quite right for you. And this is something that I want you to take away for the rest of your life, this life really has no speed limit. School, and eventually work is set up many times for lowest common denominator. And some like some aspects you like you certainly are the lowest common denominator, but and others are not. And it’s important to realise that you can actually play things at your own speed, I spent way too much time trying to figure out what the purpose My life was and what the focus was. So if I could go back now and talk to you, and skip a couple steps, I would ask myself, I would have a name for three things, I’d focus on three different ideas. So find something that you do all three of these things with something that you love, something that helps people and something that makes money. And if you’re able to find this one thing that has all three of those criteria, you can use this as your target, you’re going to be very, very successful. And I don’t mean successful, because you’re gonna make a lot of money necessarily going to be successful as far as fulfilment, fulfilment. And I can tell you now, being being older than you and having the same body, that those that’s what’s ultimately going to make you happy as funny fulfilment by something that you love, something that helps people and something that makes money. If you’re having trouble trying to find that, there’s certain questions you ask yourself. So the big biggest one is, What’s your purpose? Why are you here? And that’s a very broad question. It’s difficult to answer. So if you need something more specific, ask yourself what gives you energy this week, there’s lots of things that take energy out of you by working or school or homework or whatever. So you can find what gives you energy that helps you identify what you love. If, if the next question would be, what can you do to make others smile? So focusing on that smile, because this is one of those universal language things that I’ve seen in culture at this point, or the culture visit him? And that’ll help you identify what helps people. And the third thing is what can you produce that provides value to others. So the goal here is never about money in the bank account. It’s about giving you the tools that you need to accomplish what you do we live in a world that you need money in order to do it. But the important thing here is not to over emphasise on growing your bank account, but just to to be able to fund the things that you want to do. So again, focus on something that you love, something that helps people something makes money by asking those three questions.
David Ralph [51:31]
Danny, he’s been an absolute pleasure to have you on the show today. I’d like to thank you for being so generous, so open and of course talkative, and I wish you so much good luck for the rest of your your your life and the second the hundred and 50 list or whatever you you plan to do. And of course, the door is always open on this show to return. If there’s anything you want to air, anything you want to rent, whatever you want to get off your chest, please give us a call because I believe that Join Up. Dots is the only way build your future.
Danny Dover [52:02]
Thank you so much for the opportunity. I really appreciate it.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.