Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Denise O’Berry
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Introducing Denise O’Berry
Denise O’Berry is todays guest, joining us on the Join Up Dots Podcast Interview.
She is the go to lady if you are inspired to take control of your life and create your own income producing business.
For over twenty years Denise worked for a large Fortune 500 company helping company leaders, departments and teams create and put their plans into action to make change happen.
In short she is an “action lady” who loves the thrill of inspiring others to take action and get things done.
But if we look at her history it has a similar tale to many entrepreneurs and self starters, where it’s clear that success hasn’t been achieved overnight.
How The Dots Joined For Denise
Starting her first blog “Just For Small Business” way back in 2004 was just the first of her online Dots that can connect us to today.
This led to a relationship with her book publisher Wiley.com who published “Small Business Cash Flow: Strategies For Making Your Business A Financial Success, as they liked her knowledge, her style and believed there was a need for small business owners to manage their cash better.
So what more has she got on her plate ?
Well not just content at being a coach, author, and business owner, she has since November 2012 become a video star too.
As now you can find Denise O’Berry on you tube with her weekly online TV show the “Little Big Show” for business owners, giving great advice in small bite size chunks!
Her motto is “Absolutely Nothing. That’s Exactly What Will Happen If You Don’t Turn Your Great Ideas Into Action™ ” and even better…or at least I liked it her initials spell DO!
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Denise O’Berry.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Denise O’Berry such as:
What she finds most frustrating are people who “Wish” but then don’t “Do”!
Why it is so important to really know who you are serving on a daily basis!
How she took her leap of faith, but then realised how little she knew about what she was trying to do!
How she believes that we should find the one good thing, and just focus on that until success!
How To Connect With Denise O’Berry
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transcription Of Denise O’Berry Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Hello, everybody out there in internet land. Welcome to Episode 27. If you’re listening live today is Monday the 25th. So I hope you’re having a nice spring leading into the summer. And you’ve got your summer holidays and everything planned. And today’s guest is somebody that I have wanted to have on the show for a long, long time. And I was just actually talking to her before we started recording. And I first asked her if she’d be on the show back in October time. And we’re recording this somewhere in May I’m losing track of the days myself. Is it may or April, it’s eight course it is. And so fortunately for me, she hung around, and she’s now waiting with bated breath for my questions to be posed. So let me introduce you to her. Today’s guest is the go to Lady if you’re inspired to take control of your life and create your own income producing business. For over 20 years, she worked for a large fortune 500 company helping company leaders, departments and teams create and put their plans into action to make change happen. In short, she’s an action lady who loves the thrill of inspiring others to take action and get things done. But if we look at her history as a similar town too many entrepreneurs and self starters, where it’s clear that success hasn’t been achieved overnight. starting her first blog just for small business way back in 2004 was just the first of her online dot back can connect us to today. This led to a relationship with a book publisher wiley.com, who published small business cash flow strategies for making your business a financial success. I liked her knowledge her style, and believe there was a need for small business owners to manage their cash better. So what more she got on her plate? Well, not just content of being a coach, author and business owner, she has since November 2012. Become a video star to not adult videos, I promise you as now you can find it on YouTube with our weekly online TV show. But Little Big Show for business owners giving great advice in small bite sized video chunks. Our motto is absolutely nothing. That’s exactly what will happen if you don’t turn your great ideas to action. And even better at least highlight it her initial spell do. So let’s delve into a life and start joining up some dots with the one and only the nice. Oh, Barry. How are you today? Denise?
Denise O’Berry [2:44]
Oh, I’m doing wonderful. David, thank you so so much for having me on here.
David Ralph [2:48]
No, it’s absolute pleasure. And you should be wonderful, shouldn’t you because as we were talking before the interview, you live in Tampa. So you’re in that sort of heart of Florida. You’re you’re in holiday country or vacation countries, you say in America?
Denise O’Berry [3:03]
You bet. Yeah, absolutely. And we love the people who come and visit us. It helps make the place that we live a much better place. And we get to welcome welcome all sorts of wonderful people to our paradise.
David Ralph [3:17]
It’s funny, I’ve had a few people that I’ve interviewed from Florida, and I had this vibe that you were going to be all going around the theme parks and hitting the beaches constantly. And they all said to me, no, we rarely do that. We only do that when guests come over and stay. Is that the same with yourself?
Denise O’Berry [3:35]
Oh, absolutely. Not that I don’t love those places. But you know, it’s kind of it’s kind of like the cobbler who has no shoes. When you live some place, you have a tendency to take those things for granted. And life just kind of sort of gets in the way and you don’t step back and enjoy the beauty and the value of the things that they bring to you your life. So I used to go to all the different theme area parks and the wonderful things that you can see in Florida, I regular basis when I was younger.
But haven’t done that in a long time. It’s probably time to do so
David Ralph [4:16]
let’s do it. Let’s all fly over and we meet up and we go to one of the scariest ones. What’s the scariest ones out there?
Denise O’Berry [4:24]
Oh, the scariest ones? Well, I don’t you know, if if you’re talking about thrill seeking a type of scary then I would say Busch Gardens. Because there’s lots of thrill seeking things that you can do there. So
David Ralph [4:38]
so so if you’re not on the roller coaster, what does excite you? Because in your life, I’m looking at your life now. And you are an action taker? So a lot of things that you do, not necessarily on a daily basis, but at least on a monthly basis, I imagine must take you somewhere out of your comfort zone.
Denise O’Berry [4:57]
Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, one of the things things that
will let me talk about what frustrates me, all right, what frustrates me is people that wish and don’t do. And so I try to live differently, I try to be a Dewar, even if the do is the wrong do. So because everything that you do, you can learn from as you move forward in your life. And that is the key, sitting back and just observing the world, time is just going to pass and no matter what’s happening, you can look back and 10 or 20 years and go, Oh my gosh, that time just flew by. And so what really inspires me is watching people grow and taking action, and helping them do that. And what frustrates me is people who don’t do that, and don’t see the value in where we’ve come from the same methodology. And that’s these shows are all about inspiring people to take action, if they are in that not even, you know,
David Ralph [6:09]
bad zone, I just call it contentment zone. I think contentment zone is the absolute killer of dreams where everything just kind of floats on to the next day and nothing’s bad enough to force you to take action. But ultimately, your dreams suffer. Did you sleep a lot with people that you work with?
Denise O’Berry [6:27]
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And I was there, I lived there. You know, I you mentioned in the introduction that I worked for, you know, huge fortune 500 company for 20 years. And I was there I was in the contentment zone, it was a great experience. I loved the organisation. And I was given a lot of opportunities and made a lot of my own opportunities in that organisation. But as I got older, I realised that that there had to be more to what I was doing. You know, I didn’t want to look 10 years down the road and say, oh, gosh, you know, shouldn’t Shouldn’t I have done this? Or Shouldn’t I have done that a little bit differently. And so that was when I took the leap to go out on my own which boy,
I didn’t know a thing, I didn’t have a clue about business. So that was really the scary part. I just didn’t know it was scary at the time.
David Ralph [7:32]
So So was it really a leap of faith?
Denise O’Berry [7:35]
Oh, it was a huge leap of faith. And you know, it was, I actually waited longer than I intended to, because I had so much invested in that organisation, I didn’t really want to lose my future as I got quite a bit older, you know, think pension here. So I really hung around for a little bit longer than I used to, I wanted to just to make sure that I could get some of my investment back out of the organisation. But I started my business two years before I left, which I thought gave me a little bit of a safety net.
knowing what I know now it didn’t, but
it was a good thing. It was a really good thing to do what I did. And I just moved forward and started my business. And then I went oh my god, what have I done here? So you just take one step at a time?
David Ralph [8:33]
Well, you do you don’t you just connect the dots, don’t you? Just one event after another after another? Don’t. Some of them are good decisions you make. Some of them are bad decisions. Some of them seem good. But later on, you look back on them. And you think okay, they weren’t as good as they were. But it isn’t that trust is that belief system isn’t there that keeps you moving forward?
Denise O’Berry [8:53]
Oh, absolutely. You’ve got to do what feels right. For you. At now, you know, you’re basically needs to have to be met, you’ve got to have money to live on, you’ve got to have a roof over your head. But that looks different for you know, all sorts of different people. For one person, it could mean the house with the white picket fence and for another person that could mean a suitcase and getting on put on planes and travelling around the world. So you have to decide what’s right for you and what feels the best. You know, trust me when I say as you get older, I think that you internalise that a little bit more young people have the gift of of life, not the gift of seeing, wow, life is getting shorter. And I have so much to do, and I need to get it done. And so they have a tendency to step back and just kind of wait and see what might happen. Rather than listening to what their true self is telling them and taking that step forward. Whether they’re ready or not.
David Ralph [10:06]
It is fascinating that because I was reading Napoleon hills Think and Grow Rich. Have you read that book?
Denise O’Berry [10:12]
I have? Yes, it’s been it’s been a while. But yes, I have.
David Ralph [10:15]
And it was quite a hot pushing in certain areas. It’s quite old style. But the thing that there was a chapter that really struck me and he might have been because I was at that point. I’m now 44 years old. And we actually launched this show on my 44th birthday. And I was reading this and he was saying that more successful men become successful from the ages of 40 to 65. For those exact reasons where when they’re younger, they are just living life. And they’re trying to create a career and they’re chasing girls, and they’re getting a family and all that kind of stuff that sort of overtakes us. And then once you get to sort of the 40s you suddenly think Oh my God, I’ve wasted half my life, what should I do? And they recommended there’s a kind of a panic that sort of hits in, but makes men want to leave family life. Now I don’t know whether that is right with me. But certainly when I was reading it, I suddenly thought to myself, Oh my god, what have I done with my life, you know, I’ve just been an employee. And, you know, there’s nothing wrong with being an employee, I, I we need people to be employees. And if you’re out there, and you’re doing a job and you love it, then fantastic. That’s That’s all I would personally want for you. But with me, I suddenly realised that I was going through the motions, and I’ve kind of lost my mojo. And as you were saying, you know, you stayed there slightly too long. I think I stayed at my company for years too long, I should have I should have left three years earlier. And when I’d really be sort of where I want to be now, for what I’ve seen from the other side, by taking consistent action every day. Everything’s achievable.
Denise O’Berry [11:44]
Right, right. Well, and you know, we can, we can look back and say, you know, geez, I wish I had done this, or Geez, I wish I’d have done that. But other than learning from those things, it’s kind of wasted effort. And I, we all do it, you know, we all look back and say, Oh, my gosh, why didn’t I do that, or I regret doing some other thing. But it doesn’t serve us well, unless it’s just a blip in time, where we can say, all right, but it happened and I can’t undo it. And now I have to take whatever lesson I learned from that, and move it forward and let it help me shape my life, for going forward. And whatever I want it to be. I we don’t take enough control of our lives. Most people, we just let things happen to us. And I don’t know if that’s out of fear or comfort zone, or what it’s probably different for different people. But we allow that to happen. You know, it’s one of the things that that I’ve seen over and over and over again, is that we spend more time planning our vacations than we we do planning our life, our business, the mark that we want to make on the world, because all of us have some special gift, some special something that’s going to resonate with at least one other person. And if we don’t share that with the world and some way, then we’ve done a disservice both to ourselves and to them
David Ralph [13:24]
is the unique part, isn’t it? It’s a unique car, but only you can trade. And I’m trading what I believe is my unique path now. And in many ways, my life is easier. Because I’m doing something that hopefully becomes natural to me. Yes, I’ve got to progress. Yes, I’ve got to get better at doing it. But it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like something I can’t get enough of at the moment.
Denise O’Berry [13:49]
Oh, absolutely, I get exactly what you’re saying, you know, my video show that you mentioned that I started in in November of 2012. I love video. And, you know, doing that old wish thing I wish I’d have started sooner. And I don’t have any clue why I didn’t other than the time just wasn’t right, apparently, you know, something in my, my head, my body, whatever, just wasn’t ready to do it. But I love doing it. I you know, and I do a weekly show and you just get up in a routine with it. And it’s just so much fun. And it was the right thing to do at the right time. But I also think that that one of the things that is just so cool about today, and what’s really going to be cool about five years from from today is the technology has just gone so crazy. There are very, very few limitations on what people can do today, because of the technology that’s available, you know, way back and goodness, I came online in 1998. You know, so call me a dinosaur here. But that was, it seems like 1000 years ago now, you know, and we didn’t have all the stuff that we have today, that makes things so much easier. And it’s just, it’s so much easier today to realise your dream because of the technology that’s available, or because of someone who has the skills that can develop something for you that you need, in order to help you realise whatever that gift is that you’re trying to give to the world. You’re just I, it excites me, I love technology, and it should, and it should excite everyone.
David Ralph [15:37]
Because you know, 2030 years ago, if you wanted a business, it’d be brick and mortar, and you’d be paying rates, you’d be paying rent or whatever and you know, getting hard goods in there. But now, now you can create a business that you don’t actually have anything in storage like Amazon, he just kind of goes in and goes out and makes a tonne of money. Or you can create affiliate marketing. And a lot of these shows have kind of gone down an online world. And I know there’s more to life than online. But it is potentially the easiest way to find that freedom if you’re looking for it. Because unlike creating a brick and mortar, which is targeting a local area, you’ve you have got the world Haven’t you you’ve got customers in every corner of the world waiting for you if you just provide what somebody is looking for.
Denise O’Berry [16:28]
Absolutely, absolutely. But you know, you made a really key point. And this is one of the things that I try to stress to people to even though we’re leveraging the technology to get done, what we’re trying to get done. And you know, young people today are basically born with technology. You know, you see little babies playing with iPads and, and smartphones and things like that. But it’s just a tool. It’s just a tool that hope you achieve whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. And you must never ever forget that there’s a person on the other end of that tool. Because it’s all about people. It’s not about the technology. It’s all about people. Who are you serving? What How is your gift helping them? How can you make their world a better place?
David Ralph [17:27]
What’s your gift? Denise?
Denise O’Berry [17:29]
What’s my gift kicking people on the button getting them to take action?
David Ralph [17:33]
And do they lucky for it?
Denise O’Berry [17:36]
I think so. Have
David Ralph [17:39]
you ever had anyone who says no Denise yet you’re totally wrong. And I’m not doing it even though you can see it’s in front of them. But a new future is just waiting.
Denise O’Berry [17:49]
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I’ve had clients that I’ve fired, because they won’t take action, you know, they hire me to help them take action. We put together you know, an action plan based on where they want to go and what area we want to work with. And they do nothing. Well, that’s not my gift to have you people whine about why they can’t do things or not get things done. That just keeps you stuck it you’ve got to do something, even if it’s the wrong thing. You have to move forward. Because like we said before life’s gonna move forward time is going to pass. Whether you don’t you’re doing anything or not.
David Ralph [18:32]
Is Strange, though, isn’t it when somebody can hire you for your advice for your expertise? It’s like, I don’t know if you’ve seen those Gordon Ramsay programmes when he goes into a kitchen that is failing. And he turns around Have you seen those Hell’s Kitchen? Oh,
Denise O’Berry [18:48]
yes. I love his style. Totally.
David Ralph [18:51]
Yeah. And I always think to myself, if you’re asking for his help, and he’s coming in, and he has been there done it numerous times, why would you just not every single thing he says, but all these, these owners, they resent the fact he’s there. And, you know, they’re failing, they’re failing the bottom line, the business is going under, and there was this sort of white knight in a ship’s outfit coming to help it. And he may not be a very nice man, the way he does it and stuff. But still, you’d have to listen to him when you but I don’t, I never understand why they don’t.
Denise O’Berry [19:22]
You know, I, I think a lot of it is wrapped up in ego, and comfort zone and things like that. I mean, even though people can see that their businesses failing, the thing that’s really cool about human beings is that we always have hope, you know, but the thing, that’s the problem with that is that hope is not a strategy, it won’t get you where you’re going to go. And so I think it’s just so personal to people. Because you know, you’re you’re in business, when you’re business, your business is your baby. That’s it, you know, it’s so close to you, it’s so part of your being that for somebody to come in, and you know, take a machete to it. That’s kind of uncomfortable, but he’s finally you’ve got a fighting. Yeah, I realised that I realised that
David Ralph [20:20]
doing can make it successful. That’s what I say.
Denise O’Berry [20:24]
I agree with you. I agree with you, 100%. But the reality of it is we’re dealing with people. And even though they can see all of that handwriting on the wall, some people just cannot move past it. And you know, what, if that’s, if that’s the way they want to do their thing, and work their life and work their business, that’s okay with me. But that’s not a good fit for me to work with somebody like that, because all I end up doing is getting ticked off, you know, and that doesn’t serve them very well. So I’ve let clients go because they wouldn’t take action. You know, it doesn’t serve me because it frustrates me. It doesn’t serve them. They’re wasting their money. And and they didn’t hire me just to be their whining post. So there you go.
David Ralph [21:14]
So is this ability to fire clients? Has that come with experience and competence? When you first went into business? for yourself, you must have climate for every client you possibly can get? Oh, yeah. Now the case that you’re more selective with who you work with?
Denise O’Berry [21:33]
Well, yes. And you know, really, you know, I said early on, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, you know, I’d been an employee for 20 years. So I thought I did, of course, I was very confident and I took the leap of faith. But and and when you start out, you kind of sort of just really grab it anything that’s going to have the ability to help you survive, so that you can meet your basic needs. But then I think that you learn as you go along what works for you, and what doesn’t work for you. And it’s really, really important in business. And I know, this is said continuously, you got to know who your target market is, you really got to know. And if you don’t nail it down, then you’re going to be working with the wrong people a lot. And you’re going to be very frustrated, and so are they. But you gotta have a really good visual of who that person or business is. So that you can, you can no one when you see one, and so that the people in your network around, you can no one when they see one and send them your way. Because none of us are alone in this world. You know, we all have plenty of people around us. And, you know, I’m sorry, but you can’t do it by yourself, you really can’t, you need help. But focus on who you really want to help and knowing what that looks like, as descriptive as possible, is really the right thing to do. And then you stay out of that area where you’re working with the wrong clients, and you end up ultimately having to fire them. Because the right clients are drawn to you or you’re drawn to them, or they’re sent to you by trusted people. And so it just clicks a whole lot better. It becomes easy, because you found you unique path again. Absolutely. Absolutely.
David Ralph [23:35]
Yeah, ism is amazing. And I want to start going back over your path. Because the interesting part for me was, and this is the same with so many people, when you first go into your own business, or you make that leap of faith, as you say, you have to come out of your contentment zone. And first of all you clamouring for everything. But then opportunities come to you. And I’ve seen this over and over and over again where somebody has been to having me, I only had one focus, but because I did that so well when someone else came along. And then I had to go out there contentment zone again, and confront that fear. And a lot of the time it’s going into public speaking or becoming offers literally every single person I’ve spoken to, in some regard, has published a book. And if I asked him, you know, did you plan to be a publisher? Oh, no, no, it didn’t didn’t cross my mind. So if we go back right to the very beginning, when he was at that fortune 500 company, and you decided to leave? First of all, because you’d been there 20 years did jaws drop when you sort of walked in one day and say, I’m going?
Denise O’Berry [24:39]
Well, they were a little bit surprised. Yeah, for sure. But thrilled for me. They knew they knew I had started my business because I felt that ethically, that was the appropriate thing to do. To tell them that. So since I started my business two years before I left, you know, they were fully aware of that and full of fully aware of my intent at some point in time to leave. So it was a shock, but not as much of a shock as it could have benefit just dropped out of thin air. So then what do you do? You know, what do you do when you when it’s finally reality? And you know, it’s interesting what you said about a book, because I, you know, everybody thinks they have a book in them, at least everybody that I’ve ever talked to, I think it’s just a personal, internal need to really get our message out to the world. And I knew I had a lot of gifts to offer, as far as my book topic is concerned. And what’s really ironic about that is way back in 2004, when I started writing my first blog, I really thought I was late to the party. You know, this is 2014. And everybody’s still starting blogs to this day. But in 2004, I thought, Oh my gosh, everybody’s blogging, that’s going to be blogging. And I haven’t even started yet. And I really I had a friend, a business colleague and personal friend that kept encouraging me, you know, why aren’t you starting a blog? Why aren’t you writing a blog? And I’m like, Ah, you know, and nobody’s reading that stuff, blah, blah, blah. So I finally realised, well, yeah, people were reading that kind of stuff. And it was a really good way to become found online. Because it was becoming so prevalent and common online in order to share your knowledge that way. So that’s why I started. And ironically, at the same time, I hired a book coach, because I wanted to write a book. And my book coach fired me.
David Ralph [27:02]
So so but but you invested in yourself, which is a key part of being entrepreneur.
Denise O’Berry [27:07]
I did Yeah, definitely. But my book coach told me, you know, your idea is not fleshed out enough. I don’t think you’re ready for it. So just let it go. So I did, you know, I just let it go. But the path that it took me down was, you know, that’s how my publisher found me was via my blog, that, you know, they contacted me and said, we’ve read what you’re writing in your blog? And would you be interested in writing a book on the topic? So there you go. That’s fascinating. Firstly,
David Ralph [27:38]
though, that is fascinating. Because you’re an action lady, you love the fruit of inspiring others to take action. And this book coach said, You’re not ready, and you went yet, and you just bought into it. But that seems strange how one person can make such a big difference to your seems your core personality?
Denise O’Berry [27:57]
Well, I’ll tell you why. Because I didn’t feel it right in my gut, you know, I didn’t have enough passion to put the effort into it. And I, it just wasn’t the right time. It wasn’t the right time in what I was doing in my business. And so it just didn’t feel like the right thing. Had it felt like the right thing I would have forged ahead without a book coach. But I was just like it, you know, I want to do this. But I’ve got all this other stuff going on. Right now. I was doing a lot of speaking, face to face speaking. And it just, it felt like too much overwhelm at the time. So I said, Okay, well, you know, well, I’ll start the blog, and I’ll start writing in the blog. And we’ll move forward with that. But the thing that’s, that’s been kind of interesting with my life, is that oftentimes, things that I’m interested in, but not gung ho passionate about let’s do it, end up coming to me ultimately, at some later point in time. So I, you know, I don’t know if that’s too woo or, you know, university type thing for for people. But that’s interesting how things like that have happened to me in my life, just like the book did. I mean, I that email just from the publisher just appeared in my email box one day, you know, we noticed you’ve been writing about small business cash flow, would you be interested in writing a book? You know, and I hadn’t been trying to find a publisher or anything like that. It just happened because I was out there. Because I was willing to put myself out there.
David Ralph [29:41]
It’s cause and effect, isn’t it? It’s simple cause and effect. Yeah, a lot of people as you said the word Whoo, well, you hear that all the time. And you hear about the law of attraction, all those and I’m not going to get into that, you know, I’d love to do an episode on that. And I might do one day, but at the moment, I don’t feel it’s the right place to do it. Because there’s so many people that are anti it, where they think, okay, I only have to sit on my sofa, watching, you know, episodes and box sets, and then a Lamborghini is going to be delivered to me. Now. Yeah, it doesn’t work that way. Or what what does work is that you’re getting off your backside, you’re doing something and if you’re good enough, it’s going to get noticed. And that’s as simple as that, as far as I can see.
Denise O’Berry [30:19]
Absolutely. Well, you know, and I think one of my gifts is, I speak from the heart, I’m a pretty practical person I’ve tried to be impractical doesn’t work for me. And I, I talked to people in my writing, as if they’re sitting across the kitchen table from me, or maybe you know, we’re sitting on a couch enjoying a glass of wine, or a cup of coffee or something like that. I speak to people, there’s a matter of fact, people have told me in my writing, you know, it feels like you’re in my head, it feels like you’re sitting, sitting right next to me when you’re talking to me. And that’s just something that comes very naturally to me. And with my book, my editor told me the same thing. And ironically, the stuff that I was writing about, was the stuff that I was learning and through my business, myself, and through my clients, businesses, so it was very real stuff. So it resonated with other people. And does it resonate with everybody? Oh, I’m sure it doesn’t, you know, but I think that’s one of the keys to moving forward with life and being successful is find who resonates with you, and find out who you resonate with, and leverage that to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. And sometimes the thing isn’t going to be right to do at that point in time. But if you’re, if you’re passionate enough about it, and you know, the passion word gets thrown around a lot, too. You know, you can’t you can’t just have passion for something and make it so it doesn’t work that way. You know, that? What’s that old saying? You know, something about passion, and the money will follow? Well, sorry, that doesn’t have
David Ralph [32:15]
you got a passion and talent Avenue.
Denise O’Berry [32:17]
Yeah. Well, and it’s not just talent, it’s action. It’s actual
David Ralph [32:21]
think he’s talent as well, isn’t it? You see American Idol. And you’ve got these people that get up on stage with all the passion in the world? And I can’t hold a note, can they? They’re dreadful. Yep. Yeah. And so you get somebody who gets up there with a passion and can sing and got talent, and I’ve got a half a half a star?
Denise O’Berry [32:40]
Absolutely. Yep. That’s a very valid point. Yep. Talent is very important. So but you got to do something with it, you know, you really got to do something with it in order to, to move it forward. And I have always relied a lot on my intuition, you know, what’s my gut telling me about this? Is this the right thing to do right now. And I’m not a hugely forward thinking type person. I have a tendency to short term plan, and make those things concrete, and then keep my longer term ideas in my head. That’s what works for me, it’s, you know, might not be the right thing for for other people. But you gotta have some kind of framework of where you think you want to go.
David Ralph [33:34]
Well, that brings us nicely to the theme of the show, which is the iconic Steve Jobs speech, you said the key words there about got an intuition. I’m going to play this now to you. And as I do with most of the guests on, I’m going to see whether you believe it’s actually relevant to your life, and whether it’s relevant to you now. So this is Steve Jobs.
Unknown Speaker [33:55]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [34:29]
What do you think, Denise?
Denise O’Berry [34:32]
Oh, I, I agree 100%, you absolutely cannot know what the dots are going to do, until you’ve already been through them. So you have to have some kind of vision for where you think you want to go. And then just take that leap of faith and do it.
David Ralph [34:57]
I can connect my dots almost dot to dot, and it is uncanny. You know, I’m not gonna bore people. If anyone’s been listening to all the episodes, I’ve got the storey. But I can I can look at it now. And I can see probably 1015 years back how I’ve ended up talking to you today on the mic. And it’s, it’s unbelievable. It’s so crystal clear. But of course, going through it couldn’t see it. Oh, I was just sort of making my own mistakes making my own way and seeing what happened. And it isn’t uncanny.
Denise O’Berry [35:30]
Yes, it is very much. So, you know, and you’re absolutely right, it’s it is much easier to look back, just like Steve Jobs said, and say this is what brought me to where I am today. You know, I, I can’t tell you how many good things in my life, writing my book have brought to me. And it’s just amazing. And it’s that one thing that I gave up on with a book coach and you know, way back in 2004. So
it’s amazing how, looking at it. And looking back at that
you have those previous years, and the things that you did, and the things that you gave up on the things that you took a leap of faith on, shaped the way that you are today. So you know, actually writing the book was really easy. And pouring that information out was really easy. And the thing that’s cool is it’s a it’s an evergreen topic. You know, one of the one of the really cool things about small business is No, I wouldn’t say it’s a really cool thing, because we all keep making the same mistakes. But it’s a challenge of small business. And that’s, you know, making money making enough money to live on. So it’s an evergreen topic, you know, even though it was, it was published back in 2006, it’s still just as applicable today. Because we all think that things are going to work out better than the way we visualise them, we all think that it’s going to be easier than it really is. And so we’re not going to have challenges along the way, we’re going to be able to just poof, and our business will be a success, and we won’t have any struggles. And everybody will love what we what we have to do. But that’s in reality doesn’t happen. You know, it just it takes a lot of years to be an overnight success. And no matter who you talk to, in whatever field they’re in, there’s hard challenges that they’ve had to overcome in order to get there. And I you know, I never came to a point in time in my business, where I wanted to give up on it. Just because I know there’s so many people out there that could use my help, you know, it’s just the, the vision of a person from the outside looking in, can make all the difference in the world. And so, but there are times when I when I was just kind of me, you know, this is this is not what I want to do. So I would have to come up with something different. Shake it up, take that other step forward, like I did with the video, you know, and just take that other step forward and regain that traction again. And and that’s going to happen multiple times. Over the years. As you grow older, as you become more wise, as you learn from the lessons that you live through, is you’re going to have to capitalise on that. And ultimately have it shaped the person that you will become, which you have no clue looks like right now.
David Ralph [39:02]
It’s It’s amazing, you say that because when when you were talking about, everyone believes that they’re going to be a success, I started this, and I had no idea that anyone was going to listen to it. And in my head, it was going to be just something that I was doing for myself. Now that sounds madness, looking back on it now because it’s really taken on and it’s doing, you know, better than I could possibly hope for. But um, when I first launched Well, before I even launched, people were finding it and I was getting downloads to this show and I was thinking how the hell are people getting these, and I can tell you where they were actually downloading them from. And I haven’t even published, you know, and it suddenly made me think, Oh, my God, what I’m saying is out there in the world. And everything I had done previously had been corporate based. So everything that I did was in the office, and I affected a very small proportion. But when you suddenly see download speakers, and you get like this map, and it says you’ve had six downloads from Nigeria, and you’ve had seven from Iceland, and you’ve had all those, you kind of sit back and you think, Oh my god, this is real, I better raise my game a bit. So when I started against what your advice was there, I didn’t think I was going to be a success at all. I just kind of thought I fancy doing it. Does that sound a bit naff? Now I suppose?
Denise O’Berry [40:25]
Well, no, not really. I I think it was probably what your driver was.
Your was your driver not to make this whole business thing that was there on a regular basis in order to profit from was it just to say what you wanted to say and share with the world and make a dent holes that
David Ralph [40:50]
make a difference. That’s the key thing. I wanted to inspire Bob from Bora Bora to to change his life, you know, and if if I ever get an email now, from Bob from Bora Bora, who says to me, it was because of your show, but I decided to do X Y Zed and my life is better. Because of that. I would say it doesn’t matter how much money did this podcast has earned? I’m a success. I would say that is the benchmark of my success.
Denise O’Berry [41:18]
Okay, so that was your driver. That was your driver. So did what did you think that when you started?
David Ralph [41:26]
Well about Bob in Bora Bora? Yeah, um, yes, I, I quit my job. And I was gonna become a web developer. And I’m quite good at building websites. So I thought, I’m going to make websites for local businesses. And I started doing the first one. And I remember being about three weeks into it. And I was thinking, I’m bored with this, this is already This is worse than being at work. And when I was at work, it was the getting there at certain time and leaving at a certain time and all those kind of password, when I had kind of freedom perceives freedom. And I was actually sitting up my desk longer than I was previously doing this work. And I just, I just had this moment in my head, when I thought, if I’m going to be sitting at a desk as many hours as I am, I’ve got to do something that makes me want to sit at that desk. And yesterday, I started recording at six o’clock in the morning, and I was still doing it about two this morning. So it was it was a terrible long day. And to be honest, at the end of it, I thought I’m never going to do it again, it was too much, it was too much energy that I had to sort of put into every show to sort of get through it. But you could then take the rest of the week
Unknown Speaker [42:34]
David Ralph [42:36]
And that That to me is is amazing concept, but your whole work, your whole income producing production line can be in control to that degree.
Denise O’Berry [42:47]
Absolutely. Well, and you know, interestingly enough, success means different things to different people. You know, like what you said, the email from Bob, is what makes you feel successful. So, although you may not have identified it as this is my criteria for success, I think you knew it in your heart. So you know, some people, there’s there’s tonnes of people that help small business owners, tonnes of people, we are so lucky to have such a vast array of people and talent and knowledge to help small business be successful today. And some of them have the desire to be on stage, you know, on on TV programmes and share their knowledge there. And some of them have the desire to just share just via the written word. And some of them have the desire to share via podcast, or via video or whatever. But that’s what makes things so cool, because everybody’s gift is different. And everybody’s idea of success is different. I have no real desire to go from TV show the TV show sharing my knowledge. That’s not something that sounds really exciting to me, frankly. So, but there are others that do. And so that’s a good thing. What I want to do is I want to be successful, and I want to help one business owner who comes to me and says, I’m stuck, things are a mess, I need help, can you kick me in the button, help me take action, I want to help that person take that step. It’s just one step at a time. It’s not huge mountains that you have to climb, it’s just one step at a time. And then you will get to where you’re trying to go. Or maybe you won’t maybe where you’re trying to go will change a little bit as you travel along your path. So it’s it’s a, I think, a good thing that we don’t really know what’s in store for us as we move forward through our lives. And it’s scary to think how little control we really do have about moving forward in our lives. But if we all thought about that all the time, we would be paralysed and never do nothing. So you gotta trust that what you’re doing is the right thing, that you’re listening to the right people, including yourself, and taking the right actions in order to
live your life and be happy. And they can because that’s really that can be small actions as
David Ralph [45:39]
well. Currently they can be Oh, absolutely. And probably small actions are the easier to achieve and will help you build momentum. I had a lady on episode eight called Pamela slim. I don’t know if you know power.
Denise O’Berry [45:53]
I love Pam, she’s wonderful.
David Ralph [45:54]
And she was saying to me when she tries to get people to take action. She breaks breaks it down into such small minute tasks, but it’s almost offensive. So it’s like, sit down at your desk. Well, of course I can sit down my desk, I don’t need no focus on that sit down at your desk, turn the computer on. And once you start to get that, okay, I’ve done three of these. Look for a URL, okay, a by URL, okay, you’re starting to build a business. And she says he breaks it down into the smallest chunks, just so that people realise that it’s not the big picture focus focusing in on, it’s all the little bits that make up that big picture.
Denise O’Berry [46:31]
Oh, yes, absolutely right. And Pam is such a gifted, gifted, wonderful person. And she’s helped tonnes of small business owners get where they want to go. And that’s true. But we’re so impatient. David, we are so impatient. We we see people, we see people online, we see people in the news, we see people on TV, and we go, Ah, that’s the success I want. But we forget that it took them a series of steps in order to get there. You know, it’s that all overnight success thing that we talked about a little bit earlier as the highlights.
Yeah, it definitely is. And
nobody, nobody can look at this, this huge ending and say, I want to go from here today to that huge ending tomorrow. It just doesn’t work that way. It just does not work that way. It does take a series of steps in order to get there. And sometimes you have to step sideways. Take a little bit different path and you had planned on in order to achieve where you want to go. And sometimes your ending changes. So sometimes just like you, you know, you left your job. You can’t you went to work for yourself. And you went oh my gosh, this is boring. I don’t really want to do that was boring. Well,
David Ralph [47:55]
that’s the thing. It was boring. And yeah.
Denise O’Berry [47:58]
Well, and so you ready recognise that? And you said, Ooh, okay, so what do I What do I learn from this? And and how do I change that a little bit differently? And do something that is not boring and hard. We’ll see now. Now you spend some time doing some hard things, but it doesn’t sound like you’re the least bit bored about it?
David Ralph [48:17]
No. So this is a drug to me is an absolute rock.
Denise O’Berry [48:22]
Yeah. And so you found you found your zone, you found your place in the world. And if emails aren’t already pouring into your email box about how you’ve impacted people’s lives, then I’m sure that they soon will be i that is, that is the most exhilaration to hear from somebody particularly out of the blue and and how you’ve helped them. So I truly wish that for you and know that it will happen. Because what people are saying is, at some point in time, all of the different people that you have on your show are going to resonate with some someone, and they’re going to take that one small step that moves them down their next path, whatever that path happens to be.
David Ralph [49:10]
Thank you, Denise, I appreciate that. I really do. Now I’m going to just push you forward a bit. So you you say that you can create a different ending for yourself? And where’s your Where’s your your career and your finance and everything wrapped up into one? Have you got a plan for the next two or three years? Or are you just sort of taking it as it comes now?
Denise O’Berry [49:31]
Well, right now, I am kind of in a limbo type of situation. I am sustaining and looking at, where I really do want to take my business, and what that’s going to look like in another five years, I had a major life change last year, my husband passed away. And well, thank you. And it really, it really is a huge life change that makes you think about the realities of where that end is, you know, my husband was not a super old person. I’m not a super old person, old to a good, good bit of people, you know, in my 50s, but, but still very young. And so it changes where you want to go. And I I think I’m still finding my footing of where I want to head and what I want to do and what my future life and business is going to look like. I know that I want to continue to work with small business owners. How much of that is one on one? I’m not sure. Right now. I know that I can affect people by sharing my video show. And since I love doing that so much. That’s a way to get the message out into the world. But seriously, we don’t live forever. And I don’t I want to be 80 years old and and probably nobody else wants me to do this and be doing my video show. You know, but it just, it just won’t work that way.
David Ralph [51:10]
So and when Paul McCartney, I know he’s still going to be on stage when he’s at.
Denise O’Berry [51:15]
I know, but I’m sorry, those old rockers just I when I see them. I think you know, guys, I think it’s kinda sort of time to hang up your guitar. So
David Ralph [51:26]
what I’ll promise you on your 80th birthday, I’m gonna fly over and we’re going to go to Busch Gardens, and we’re going to find the biggest, scariest one.
Denise O’Berry [51:35]
Sounds good. And we’re going to ride it
David Ralph [51:36]
right? Absolutely. Yeah, what you ride it all the time.
Denise O’Berry [51:40]
Yeah. So I’m still right now I you know, I’m kind of in a flux. And I have a plan framework for moving forward. I, I i’ve been online for so long. And I’ve got all sorts of different systems. As technology has improved, you know, I’ve kind of bold Don things here and bolted on things there in order to, to make the whole product delivery and the things that I offer work. And so I’ve taken a step back and looked at applying some of my own advice to my own company, and refining my systems and processes, so that I can better embrace where where this next chapter is going to take me?
David Ralph [52:28]
Well, I know it’s gonna be successful in the unknown it is. I thank you for that. He’s got to be because the thing about you and the thing about every single guest, there is a combination of passion, enthusiasm, and yes, and talent and skill. But I think it’s the enthusiasm, which really gives you the rocket power to overcome those obstacles and make your life a success.
Denise O’Berry [52:52]
I do enthusiasm has a lot to do with it. And finding the one good thing in not so good that that you feel happened to you finding that one good thing and focusing on it. And and and letting it help you take that step forward that you need to take.
David Ralph [53:11]
We’re bringing this to the end. This is the part that I called a sermon on the mic. And this is when I send you back like a time traveller to have a one on one with your younger self. And you can choose any age of young deniers you want. But what kind of things would you say if you walked into a room and you saw your younger self sitting there. So I’m going to play the music. And when it fades out, I’m going to say step away from the mic. And I’m just going to leave you to have this one on one. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [53:46]
With the best of the show.
Denise O’Berry [54:03]
Well, I’m going to go back and talk to my 20 year old self, whose life had been disrupted by plans that were changed. I had planned on going to college and studying to be a teacher. And because of family circumstances that just didn’t happen. So I pulled up roots from where I originally lived, which was in Michigan, and had a few bucks in my pocket, sold my car and came to Florida and said, this is where I’m going to live. Now what am I going to do. And what I would tell myself back then is that it’s all going to be okay, you have the confidence to move forward. You have the knowledge and ability to learn the things that you need to learn and you’re going to learn the as you move along. So continue to embrace your rightness and the intuition that you’ve trusted so much in your young life. And it will take you down the path of happiness and give you a life of financial freedom and the things that you’re going to enjoy and be surrounded by the people that you’re going to enjoy. And you’ll look back and say that was the right thing to do.
David Ralph [55:32]
words of advice for the younger than these and hopefully all of us out there listening to those because their words of advice for all of us. Just before I let you go Denise, how can people connect with you?
Denise O’Berry [55:44]
How can people connect with you?
Probably the best way for people to connect with me is to visit my website, which is Denise Albury calm. I’m on all the social networks. Twitter, Denise Oh, Barry, of course and on LinkedIn, I love to connect up with people on LinkedIn. So you can pretty much find me via my name. I’ve been pretty active on Google Plus. And of course don’t forget to pay a visit especially if you’re considering a business. Don’t forget to visit my my YouTube channel and my my weekly show the Little Big Show. You can find me there under either the Little Big show.com or Denise Oh, Barry. And maybe there’s something that will resonate with you.
David Ralph [56:33]
I’m sure I’m sure there will be you are everywhere, aren’t you when when I started getting your notes together? Normally I do Twitter, Facebook and stuff. But with you I had to narrow it down because I thought my god, there’s so many areas that Denise or Barry was coming up on, which is the way it should be, isn’t it?
Denise O’Berry [56:48]
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yep. That being everywhere is not a bad thing.
David Ralph [56:54]
There you go. That is the words of the the show be everywhere. Well done. Wish we could have more time with you. Because it’s been an absolute delight to have you on the show today. You’ve been open and generous and of course, talkative. And as I say to all the guests, please come back in the future because the beauty of this show Join Up Dots is that our history keeps on going forward. And I believe that by joining up our dots and connecting our past we have the best opportunities to build our future. Denise Barry, thank you so much.
Denise O’Berry [57:23]
Oh, thank you so much for having me, David, the time has flown by and I really am grateful for the opportunity to be here and share my thoughts with your audience.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.