Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcasting interview with Devon Bandison
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Introducing Devon Bandison
Todays guest, waiting to be interviewed on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast is Mr Devon Bandison.
He is a father, keynote speaker, executive coach, community leader, entrepreneur and agent of change.
He loves life, and loves providing as much value to the world and others as possible.
He believes that change can and should be made at grass roots levels, and has spent his whole career helping improve the lives of at risk youth and families throughout NYC.
How The Dots Joined Up For Devon
He has worked with the largest non profit home care agencies in the country developing and managing programs focused on Fatherhood, Crisis Intervention, Education, Mental and Emotional Health.
But although that sounds like Devon wouldn’t have time to do anything else, he is also an active blogger on www.nowlegacy.com where he provides tools and techniques for all for us to achieve our best.
So how does he find time for all this, and still make time to come on the show today?
Well let’s find out as we start joining up some dots with the one and only Devon Bandison
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Devon such as:
How a five minute conversation with guest number 53 Jason Womack in a corridor changed his life, and changed the direction he was travelling!
How when playing basketball he knew that he had to play with better players to improve, the same as he does in business!
How his biggest learning’s in life was when he fell short of the goals he expected. His failings were a good thing!
How you must ask the question “Do you want to be the guy in the chair or the influencer of the guy in the chair?”!
How the three times in his life when he wasn’t nervous were the times that his performance felt flat….nerves are a great things if you control them!
If you are going to beat yourself up, then pick up a feather and put down the bat!
How To Connect With Devon Bandison
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transcription Of Devon Bandison Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Good morning to you, oh, my Join Up Dots, lovers. And there are literally thousands of you, as you know, as you know, because you bombard me with loving emails on a daily basis. And we have got a gentleman on the show, and I’m really going to steam into it quickly today, because I’ve already been talking to him. And he sounds a great guy. And he is a man who is a father, keynote speaker, executive coach, community leader, entrepreneur, an agent of change. He loves life, it’s quite obvious. He loves life, and he loves providing as much value to the world and others as possible. He believes that change can and should be made at grassroots level and has spent his whole career helping improve the lives of at risk youth and families throughout New York City. He’s worked with the largest nonprofit home care agencies in the country, developing and managing programmes focused on fatherhood, crisis intervention, education, mental and emotional health. So you know, pretty healthy stuff there. But although that sounds like you wouldn’t have time to do anything else, he’s also an active blogger on now. legacy.com, where he provides tools and techniques for all of us to achieve our best. So how does he do this and find time for well, but he’s he’s real job, I suppose. And also make time to come on the show today. Well, let’s find out as we start joining up some thoughts with the one and only Devon Patterson, how are you, Devin?
Devon Bandison [1:47]
I’m doing absolutely terrific, David, how you doing? And how’s everybody out there? Join Up Dots.
David Ralph [1:52]
Everyone in Join Up Dots is great, because you know why? This is like a positive bubble that we’re creating. And anybody who’s new listening to this can’t help but be inspired and motivated to go out and get a kick ass life? Because really, that’s what life is all about. Don’t you think? Devon?
Devon Bandison [2:08]
Absolutely, absolutely. And I think you’re doing a wonderful thing here. I’ve been following you over the last month or two. And I think oftentimes that will, that’s what people need. You know, sometimes my job and when I coach people or when I’m developing programmes is to really give hope to the hopeless kind of voice voices to people who feel like they don’t have any voices and choices to people where they felt like there may not be choices. So to inspire and motivate people is really up my alley. And I’m grateful to be on here with you today.
David Ralph [2:40]
You know, you’ve gone straight to the chase a you you’ve said the word which really I want every show to have. And that is hope. And I had a chap back on Oh, I don’t know about Episode 63 or something. It was Yeah, it was Episode 60 grey colour blind Keith. And he was really motivational marketing guy. And he was amazing. And so every time he opened his mouth, I just jaw dropped listening to what he was saying. And afterwards, when we finished recording, he said, your show is going to take on big time. And I went I would do hope so you know, because that’s what you want. He said no, it will do. He said, because you’re selling hope. And the world needs hope. And although I found that inspiring for him to say that to me, and you know, it was a lovely thing as well. And he gave me courage and competence to keep on going. It’s also a bit sad, isn’t it that people need hope?
Devon Bandison [3:30]
Absolutely. I think it’s sad. But it’s an interesting dynamic, because while it’s sad in some degree, from hope comes a lot of creativity, a lot of prosperity. And oftentimes it’s almost difficult, challenging areas in our life that springs forth a better life for us. And you know, like with there’s no sunshine, there’s no rain, right? So after a rainy day, usually the sun comes out. And usually in life if you can go in, and just be that spark of hope. Somebody I know you’re in a difficult situation. I know life hasn’t presented its best self to you at this point. But there is a better way. And there is a better day. I think that that goes such so long, such a long way with people and people embrace that and really respond.
David Ralph [4:18]
Are you naturally a positive person? Are you somebody you know, I generally am Devin. And I will say to people, and it annoys me and always my wife quite a lot. I would say to there’s no such thing as bad weather is just bad clothing. And I will say to them, that’s not rain, that’s just wet sunshine. And he really doesn’t know my wife because she goes no, it is not it’s rain, I’m gonna get wet and life is bad. But I’ll use somebody who can, you know, turn their head on to the positive even in dark times?
Devon Bandison [4:49]
Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, with everyone, David, you know, it really has been a process through me, you know, I’ve experienced some difficult times and growing up and some difficulties situations. And there was a point where somebody kind of brought some hope to me and said, Listen, they saw some talent in me help develop my talent. And as I started growing and was able to reach back and help the same communities I came from, it was I really felt like it was an honour and almost that I own, I own because someone saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. So it really took on a different meaning for me to go back and help people see in them the potential that they don’t see in themselves. I am a naturally positive guy, I always start my day with some, you know, when I journal, I do some daily affirmations, I do some positive quotes, I always try to start my day early. And in a way that brings me to a place of of contentment and positivity. I think that oftentimes, you know, you hear the old storey David, somebody wakes up, they bump their toe on the side of the bed and they tell themselves, I’m going to have a terrible day. And you know what usually happens, they have a terrible day. So I I try to show people that listen, you’re going to have some bumps in the road, you may stub your toe, you may not have the outcome at work that you thought was possible. But if you embrace change, if you embrace adversity, you could turn that into something really positive, because it really comes down to perception and perspective.
David Ralph [6:26]
So do you think this this person who changed your perspective? And do you know their name?
Devon Bandison [6:33]
Of course, I know their name?
David Ralph [6:34]
Well, let’s pick them up because I might be listening. And if they are listening, you tell them this person’s name, who changed your life? Who was he or her could have been her?
Devon Bandison [6:44]
Well, one to two people, actually, I have to say, friend of mine, we call him goodie. His name is James. And he was really an inspirational figure in my life, and came about when you know, some of the things of coming up in childhood, oftentimes affect you, and really helped me see a direction and a path in my life. That that really changed it for the positive. And but as my life as I kept going on, there’s been many other positive influences and mentors, I think it’s important to be successful to really understand that you don’t know it all. And you need to ask questions. And there are people out here who’s really positive, who’s really knowledgeable that can help guide you another person. You know, one of my mentors I ran into about a few years ago, and at the time, I was developing programmes for at hope at risk youth in the inner city. I was developing fatherhood programmes under bigger companies and I met one of my mentors, his name is Jason Womack, I think you had him on in the hallway. And a five minute conversation actually changed the direction of my life. In my early years, I had someone who actually changed my life in a positive direction. And then later on, it happened again, not that my life was pretty, I was going pretty well. Um, but it really directed me to my purpose.
David Ralph [8:16]
I’ve had Jason on episode 53. And I’ve had his wife on as well, Episode 70. They’re the only partnership that I’ve had on in both shows. And what how did he change your life in five minutes in a Commodore when you just bumped into him? Because that is powerful stuff, isn’t it? So it was a What did you do to change your direction?
Devon Bandison [8:38]
Right. So we were actually I was at an agency and he was doing productivity training for executives. And we met in the hallway, and I told him some of the stuff that I was doing. And he really encouraged me, he gave me such positive feedback about how my work really can change the world on a broader level. That the the work like we talked about earlier, David, the hope that we provide that I can actually do that on such a larger scale. And he said that because of his positive feedback and how impressed he was with me. And what happened was he said he wanted to stay in touch. And you know, David, a lot of people say that give you a business card, they say they want to stay in touch. But he actually sent me an email the next day followed up with a phone call a day after. And I was really impressed by the commitment to his word and the integrity that I seen in him. So I gave him a shot to like, continue to follow up and following the see what he was about. And it really changed the direction into how I started. I’m doing more speaking and public speaking and my blogging and also doing a lot of the coaching that I actually saw him in a few years ago. So it really it was powerful stuff.
David Ralph [9:56]
So he was one of your dots. Really in the join up Dr. timeline, there’s normally small dots, and quite often bears big dots. And unfortunately for many of the guests, or maybe, fortunately, the big dots quite often the dark times in their life where they found their true self, but then they will spend take path. He was obviously a bright moment in your life. So he would be like a small dot. But was it something that really did have ramifications and ripples that one five minute conversation to the rest of your life?
Devon Bandison [10:30]
Absolutely. Because at that point, my life was going pretty well, David I had connected to, I felt like I was connected to my purpose in helping people and helping people see their potential and to grow and be the best version of themselves. They can be but it was on such a smaller scale. And that conversation open the door. He’s a big, you know, one of the things he said is the people, the five people you spend the most time with, you’ll be the average of those five. So it had me kind of look at who my biggest influences were, and had to find out how I needed to change that up to get to a higher level or broader level of helping people and giving back because that’s what I really wanted to do. So he was that bright spot of dot that kind of connected the purpose that I was doing on a smaller scale into what I’m doing today.
David Ralph [11:24]
What you’re talking about, there was the classic Jim Rowan speech, which Jason was sharing with you. And he is a truth that runs through all our conversations, that people who become successful, or lift up the anchors to where they were in their life, really do have to look around them, and look at the people that are holding them in position. And sometimes it’s very difficult to cut them free. But to be able to move on, you need to challenge yourself, don’t you? And so you need to surround yourself exactly as you’re saying with people who hopefully are far more experienced far more not bowl far more successful, because it gives you a combination of what is possible. And it also gives you a belief that you can do it as well, if they’re willing to share their time with you.
Devon Bandison [12:10]
Absolutely, absolutely. And it really dates back I you know, I was a pretty good basketball player growing up in New York City. And it’s similar, it’s a parallel because as I grew, I got a college basketball scholarship and usually on the teams that I was the best player, we did pretty good, but I never felt like I was getting any better. And what happens was, when I was was put on teams of older people, or guys with a little more talent than I had, it always had me raised up to a different level. So so as that moved into my professional career, I had to make sure that, you know, one of my favourite quotes is if you’re the smartest person in the room, then you need to get out of that room. You know, because because there’s always someone that you can learn from. And I I think that is how things the dots really connected. For me, I am a connected by nature, I really enjoy human interaction and connecting with people on a level where when I sit down in a conversation or I’m over the computer, I try to be present. And in the moment, I’m not trying to think about what happened yesterday, I’m not trying to think about what I’m going to say after you finish, but I try to be understand the gift of right now in the present.
David Ralph [13:29]
But so many people Devon would find that uncomfortable being in a room when they were the most stupid person. But what you’re saying is basically you are challenging yourself to overcome fears. You’re challenging yourself to progress and develop and come out of your comfort zone. But so what made it easier for you to embrace that phrase, and I agree with it totally, I think that you do have to do, but a lot of our listeners will be quite happy to be the senior partner, a partner in a row, the most experienced person in a position. What would convince them listening to this conversation that really even if at that point, they do need to shake it up and move again?
Devon Bandison [14:13]
Well, I think the convincing would be that if you’re not challenging yourself, there’s always someone working harder than I mean. So you can be comfortable in your position. But there’s going to be a point where people surpass you. And if you’re not always seeking out people who are maybe no more, because I’m I have expertise in a few different areas. But I am not silly enough to think that I know it all. And I think that it’s important for for me and for successful people to always challenge themselves. Because when you get challenged when you’re not always the head of the class, it’s to me, it brings about the most creative parts of yourself. You think of ways where you may not have thought of ways before, you know, and I think that through experiences, most of my learning experiences, David weren’t when I was super successful and what I did, and I’ve had a lot of successes, it was really the situations that when I felt like I came up short, and that I felt like at the time was a failure or the time where it was really a big sense of there was so much adversity going on and I had to make a decision. Do I persevere and embrace it? Or do I shrink out of fear and become paralysed and and what my experiences every time I’ve embraced adversity, every time I’ve embraced me kind of what I perceived as a failure. When I look back at those those points in my life that I said, at the time, I would have said that’s the worst time in my life. Those actually were the times that I grew the most that I learned the most. And I was able to produce and create things that weren’t there before.
David Ralph [16:00]
amazing thing is connecting the dots isn’t it is hindsight at its best. But it’s hugely powerful as well, isn’t it. And if you can just reflect and spend some time looking back as we’re doing on these daily conversations, people will see that there are clues there are stepping stones to their future. But because we’re so reactive to live, and we’re so connected, and we’re on our phones, and we want our email, and we’re bashing forward all the time just trying to keep ahead of the game. We don’t give ourselves a chance as you did bear to actually look back at these times and go Yeah, that was that was bad. I know it was bad. But well, I actually learned from that. And it’s helped me move on to the next next level of my life.
Devon Bandison [16:41]
Absolutely. And it’s all a process. I mean, I’ve even come to a point and to be honest, where I am straight. I’ve stayed away from lately, labelling things, and especially labelling things as good or bad right? Now, you know, it’s as simple as you can remember the girl that you met wanted in eighth grade and you really wanted to date her or in high school and you really wanted the data and you were turned down. Just to find out later that she was dating more than one guy and she may not have been the girl for you. Well, I know. It. Well, maybe in the high school, you know?
David Ralph [17:17]
It’s different in New York City, I tell you, yeah.
Devon Bandison [17:22]
Well, dating was just like, could you hold my hand at the time? I believe
David Ralph [17:25]
that’s why I let that one go there.
Devon Bandison [17:28]
But I think that I try to stay away from the things, labelling things as bad or good because as I reflected in my life, some of the things that I thought were good for me, actually, that I labelled as good weren’t the best learning experiences didn’t propel me into more success. And some of the things that in the past, I labelled as bad or not so good for me, actually, were the ones that were turning points in my life and connecting the dots of that changes how you see adversity in the present moment. So cuz if you take
David Ralph [18:04]
Yeah, sorry. So so I’m really keen on these bad moments that you’re saying, so So what would be an example in your life, because you’re coming across Uber positive, and I can see, but the work you do provides great value to the world. It must be difficult work as well, because it’s not easy subjects, but you’re tackling on a daily basis. So these bad points, what were they? And did they affect you personally, professionally? Or was it a combination that they just came together? And sort of knocked you off your feet?
Devon Bandison [18:35]
Oh, absolutely. So I I can go most recently, all the way back to childhood. I think that a simple. One of the most. One of the examples, most recently I was in an international speaking contest, right. And I prepared this speech about the value of tribes and teamwork and networks as it related to the birth of my premature son and how the importance of a team concept. And I went to this event and it was the first one I was at and I ran into this guy will call him john and john was overconfident and kind of a lot cocky. And he said, you know, you guys are all going to come in second. So it brought up a lot of my competitive juices I wanted to do well. And I, I did the speech. And when I came off, two of the three judges were actually crying and pulled me over and said, That was such a powerful speech. And as I sat through the rest of the competition, I saw john go up, and he did his speech. And people were coming to me and saying, what a great job, you know, you and I thought I had won this thing. And we come down to it, and they introduce the winner. And they said second place, Devon band isn’t. And I had felt like I failed, because guess who got first place? JOHN Kochi, john Kochi, john and i saw him about two weeks later at another event, and he came to me and he made a beeline across the room and said, just to tell me, what was your name again. And I felt like he was kind of rubbing it in. And I took it in stride and everything. But what happened from there was amazing, because I thought it was a failure. But by me not even putting coming in first, I actually receive so many more job opportunities to speak from the people that were not only judging the contest, but we’re in the arena. And, and I’ve seen john and i know lately, he’s been trying to get some work. But from that disappointment of me not coming up in first place, it actually spurred greater opportunities. other instances were more personal. David, you know, growing up, sometimes had some difficult times in the environment, I grew up family somehow, you know, addiction had reached throughout my family as it does a lot of families throughout the country. And the world. And what it did was it allowed me to tap into people who were feeling hopeless, and communities. And it actually allowed me to relate to people on such a level, there’s nothing like someone being able to say, you know, I can identify, I’ve been through some of the stuff that you’ve been, I’ve seen through some of the stuff you’ve seen, and I can help you. So so those are kind of some of those points in my life that were turning points that I could either have allowed those to eat me up inside, and really crush my spirit or do something about it, which to me is to reach out of myself and help someone else up who may be going through similar situations.
David Ralph [21:42]
So why do you think that happened that you came second, and you had more opportunities present themselves to you, bang, Kochi, john, because we see it over here, we have a similar thing that you have, you have American Idol, and we have X Factor. And if you look at all the people that win it by the burst of success, and then just kind of disappear, and it’s always the people that have come second or third, but actually go on and have these kind of quite lengthy careers. And it’s funny, it’s a sort of standing job. If you win it, you’re not going to go anywhere. Come second, and you’ll do all right. So in your speaking competition, why do you think that was the case that you came second, but it opened doors, but Kochi john didn’t get?
Devon Bandison [22:24]
Right. To be honest, it’s to me, when you when you come up short, or you don’t reach your ideal it is that it is that point in your life, where you’re able to tap into a level of creativity and perspective and foresight that you may not have seen before. When you come up and you’re you’re the first prize winner, and you’re the you know, you very successful and you’re in first place, oftentimes you feel like there’s not any more work to do. When you come up short, I think there’s another level of motivation. I think there’s another level of always trying to improve on yourself that isn’t there oftentimes, when you place first, or you’re at the top of the class, which is why I always challenge people to challenge themselves to really connect the dots in their life and say, Listen, I may be an expert in this area. And I could go and be the smartest one in the room. But it’s the times when I come and I don’t feel like that, that it’s going to challenge me to work harder, and really try to be better at whatever I’m doing.
David Ralph [23:41]
Now. I agree with that. Totally. But coming second, why why did people see something in you, but they didn’t see in Kochi. JOHN, this is the thing that I’m interested in. Why did you suddenly have more career opportunities from was it just that you touched them on an emotional basis? Was it that the speech was just a more appealing although you didn’t win? What What was it that made those doors open for you?
Devon Bandison [24:07]
That’s a good question. I think it was a combination of a few things. I think that my speech in general had was really had a purpose. It had a purpose that connected to kind of the human spirit. But I think what happened after I got off the stage was just as important. I think many people came and before they came to me, you know what people do is they watch you, right? They watch you to see how you react when they call your name for second place. how you react when the guy comes across the room to kind of rub it in. And I did it with a smile, I wish them the best of luck. And when people approached me, some of them kind of in intimated that, you know, I should have won but I didn’t feed into that I didn’t go into I should have won, I was better than him. All I did was I was just happy be able to tell my storey. And this is this is kind of what I do I live this, I don’t try to kind of turn it on and turn it off. For an event. I try to walk this walk and talk this talk, you know, when people are looking and when people are not looking especially. So I think the human connexion and like you say connecting the dots, there’s something about being present, being authentic, and being purposeful, that allows for people to say, you know, what I want to see more from this guy
David Ralph [25:31]
is a key point what you’re saying that Devin and I know from this show, but a lot of it might be classed as conversation chat, basically. But it’s when it touches on something. And I can actually feel it when I’m talking to somebody else. And I can feel them feel it as well. And it’s almost, it’s almost like a chemical reaction that occurs, which then cascades out to the listeners. And it becomes more powerful. So when people are out there, and they’re in a situation now in a career, they’re in a relationship, but they don’t like and I’ve got these ideas going around their head, is it a good? is a good focus that they should have to actually think how is this idea going to affect people in a positive way? Is it going to be more value to them? And will they have a quicker upswing, if I do focus on providing value to other people first?
Devon Bandison [26:27]
Ah, interesting. I think that
the value, the connexion is when you when you can provide value to other people through your storey. Right? It’s not a people pleasing kind of thing. It’s more How do I connect the dots from my adversity from from my storey, and, and presented in a way where people can identify, they may not have grown up how I’ve grown up, they may not have been the same places I’ve been. But there’s a human element. Like you said, there’s something that happens when you just authentic and tell your storey and say everybody Listen, David, everybody’s been through adversity, everybody’s felt vulnerable. Everybody’s felt like a failure at some time. And also people have felt successful. And on top of the world at times, if you can tap into your storey and authentic way, with the purpose. I think it connects the dots for other people, and it draws them to you. So I think by you being honest and authentic, and the more work you do about yourself, the more value you can provide other people to your perspective.
David Ralph [27:39]
Well, I’m going to ask you a question here, Devin. And this is something that has come up in many, many shows. And it’s a kind of a theme that I now I now cling to. And on Join Up Dots, their tagline is connecting our past to build our future. And one of the things that I’ve kind of discovered over these conversations is people that are really doing their thing, and loving their work and creating and providing value you and you could sort of do little rabbit quotes and say best successful. If you go back in time to when they were young kids, they were pretty much doing the same thing. So when you was a child, would you very much somebody who was a caring child, and like to help people and when the new kid from school turned up, you were the one that sort of helped them through the first sort of days because a lot of your work now seems to be there’s a caring, there’s a nurturing side to you. There’s there’s a problem solving aspect to it. Would you say that there are similarities with your younger self, to where you are now?
Devon Bandison [28:37]
Yeah, and maybe many ways I wasn’t the I actually we all have a level of selfishness at some point. That for me turned from selfishness to sell a little bit more selfless. Early on, you know, I think what went into I have a family that is very diverse. They come from all different countries. And if you came to like a family function, it was all in it’s almost like a United Nations. And I think what that did was that allowed me to see the connexion and the similarities and people rather than differences. I think that was where I got my head start but was i was i the kid in seventh grade who said let me help you to your seat. No, that didn’t come to later, when I actually got, you know, when you play college basketball, you end up coming back and you coach, you think you’re a counsellor. And when I used to go away to school, they used to provide you with so much basketball gear and sneakers. And that’s when I came back to my community in my college is and started running basketball tournaments in the community and giving back kind of all that extra stuff that I got in college. So that caring, nurturing Spirit came I think more from my experiences seeing people who’ve been through similar experiences and want to give back. And even then in college, when I was running tournaments, the community it became more of a community event I had the older people in the community, you know, cooking and selling food I had the younger kids selling the waters or going to the store, I had local music DJ. And I was always someone who liked to see people do well and people connected all for a for a larger cause.
David Ralph [30:22]
Are you in your perfect job? Do you think at the moment?
Devon Bandison [30:28]
Right now I’m in
right now I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I think that what I am looking at implementing in the next three to six months, will put me in my I think I am in my perfect job. But I still want to be able to help more people and make a difference in more people’s lives. So absolutely.
David Ralph [30:51]
So it’s, you know, politics and stuff is something that would interest you.
Devon Bandison [30:57]
Not at all, not at all, to be honest. Why do you say that?
David Ralph [31:01]
Well, I just think, you know, that is the ultimate being able to help people or in your head. I know, you know, Barack Obama and stuff is probably not helping as many people as he would like to. And over here, we’ve got David Cameron, and I bet His hands are tied in many shapes as well. But that is the ultimate sort of position to think via, you are going to leave your mark and you’re going to make things better for the poor and you’re going to help you out and all those kind of things.
Devon Bandison [31:28]
Right? I agree. But I think that being, um, you know, there was a guy at Nike he does. He works, right under Phil Knight. And he said, You know, one of the things he said was, would you like to be the guy at the head of the chair or the influencer of the guy at the head of the chair. And I think I would rather be the influencer. I think that I’m helping people. I’m helping executive fathers, I’m helping executive parents learn how to be more productive had learned how to spend more quality time with their children. I think I’m helping people on that level, as well as I’ve always been on a community level, developing programmes and such. But with as my coaching as taken off in my public speaking is taken off, I think that I’ll be able to influence more people by continuing to do what I do, but trying to just reach more people at different levels who can make those policy decisions.
David Ralph [32:32]
Are you fearless? Because there’s so many things that you’re going into, really can tip the balance on people’s lives. Do you? Are you just absolutely firm on your convictions? Or are you somebody that is without fear?
Devon Bandison [32:47]
Yeah, um, it’s funny, because I’m not without fear. I think that it’s just there’s healthy fear. And there’s unhealthy fear, to be honest, right? So, obviously, David, if I go, I see there’s cars coming down the street, I have an unhealthy fear of walking in front of those cars. I think where people get stuck is the unhealthy fear of when they fear. You know, fear is a natural kind of thing that human nature, we sometimes doubt ourselves, but if we allow it to paralyse us and not make the next move, or the next connexion or the next step, I think that’s where people drop the ball. And for me, I tried to persevere know that, okay, I’m not feeling but despite maybe how I’m feeling at this moment, I know that if I take one step towards my goal, that somehow the universe meets me where I’m at and and, and provides the next step for me. So I think that having courage is a lot different than just being fearless. I think that you have to have courage and also be, I think it also takes courage, courage to be vulnerable to kind of tell people that you don’t know it all. But you’re you’re willing to learn, and you’re willing to learn from them if they’re open and willing to learn from you as well.
David Ralph [34:11]
Because in my career, that now I’m doing this every single day is like therapy in many ways. And I listened to people talking, and I reflect on my own life. And I think for many years, I was fearless in my comfort zone, I think I played towards my streams within the area, but I could allow myself to play to my strengths in. And since I’m doing this, I think the things that have increased my reach, my positivity, my competence, my influence, whatever you call it, is when I have confronted that fear, and at the beginning, it was terrifying. And even now, it’s still quite terrifying. So you know, on a daily basis, I was sort of wake up thinking, Oh, God, you know, have I got enough guests for the next seven days have I got this Have I got that. But what I realised and I want people to to focus in on is most of the time when your body is scared. And it’s not that you’re in a room with a tiger, or you’re going to jump in front of the car or something like Devin saying, You eat your is your body saying, I’m in my comfort zone. And by pushing past that fear, you’re actually going to develop, and it’s not going to be perfect the first time, but it’s not going to kill you either. You can push forward and it’s almost like a compass. Isn’t it? is a compass Devon, showing you the way to actually expand yourself? And your your influence on the world?
Devon Bandison [35:35]
Absolutely. And when I coach people, David, I try to challenge them to embrace that, you know, there’s always that is this going to be successful. Oftentimes, people say, you know, you’re such a natural when you go speak, do you still get nervous. And every time I still go out there, and I still have butterflies. And what it does is like you’re saying it’s actually a conference, there’s been only two or three occasions in my life, whether it was speaking or playing college basketball, where I didn’t feel those butterflies or that nervousness or that a little bit of fear. And all three of those times when I just felt totally calm, I was flat, I didn’t have my best game, I didn’t have my best speech. I think that by embracing that kind of level of anxiety, and um comfortability, it actually will focus you and you’ll have a focus mission to go out there and perform at your peak performance
David Ralph [36:32]
is fascinating. Because that’s exactly the same with me, I used to be a financial trainer. And I used to do pretty much the same training courses all the time, I knew him inside out. And I could just walk into the room, put up the PowerPoint, and bang for the next three hours, I could just talk it out. But there was never one course. But I didn’t go to the toilet maybe three times beforehand. And even though I looked totally calm, I had those butterflies all the time. And even when I was actually in it, I would still occasionally think to myself, Oh my god, I think I’ve lost my place. Where am I am and the butterflies would come back. And it is it is just sort of nature’s way of helping you raise your game somewhat.
Devon Bandison [37:12]
Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and what you get out of it. I mean, every time I look back, I think Am I prepared enough for this speech and my permit enough for this workshop? Am I prepared enough for this client, but every time I look back, it usually has been you know, I’ve always learned from my experiences, but it usually turns out better than I always think. Um, so I just know that I just have to have at 90% of things is showing up because I know that I’ve done the preparation, but you just have to show up and give the best of yourself. Some days you may not be at your peak. But I think that through preparation and being confident in what you’re doing, you’ll be able to make a lasting impression.
David Ralph [38:02]
Yeah, I think so I’ve done some of these interviews. And while I’m doing them, I think to myself, Oh, I’m not hitting this at all with this feels wrong. And I’m just kind of trying to get through to the end. But then when I listen back, it’s a totally different ballgame actually being Oh, that sounds All right. That’s that’s fine. But inside because you’re trying to do your best job you possibly can. You’re constantly beating yourself up while you’re doing it, when really what you should be doing is just relaxing, going with the flow. And then afterwards reflecting and trying to learn from that experience.
Devon Bandison [38:32]
Absolutely. And got Oh guy used to tell me if you’re going to beat yourself up Devin, once you take the feather and put down the bat. And I used to say well, that’s pretty good. Because even some of my speeches and and my work I have I look at them because I want to tear them apart. But it’s very difficult sometimes to even hear myself. Because I’m so I tried to overanalyze and assess everything I do, you know. But like you said, If you sit back and just allow things to come to you, it’ll just come out naturally. And the work you put in and the preparation will be able to hit home with with the with others. And then as you reflect back, I think it’ll be a product you’re you’re happy with.
David Ralph [39:18]
I love that phrase. I’ve written this down. Why don’t you take the paper and put down the bat? That’s, that’s brilliant, isn’t it?
Devon Bandison [39:26]
Absolutely. So simple, but so profound, right?
David Ralph [39:30]
Yeah, absolutely. That that’s going to be one of my mottos of life. Now. I think you’ve changed me, Devon, you’ve changed me like Jason Womack changed you.
Unknown Speaker [39:41]
I’m glad I could help in any way. David, you
David Ralph [39:43]
have done? Well, I’m going to do I’m going to play a couple of speeches now. And one of them is very, very short. And I just want to get your flavour on both of these. And these are the kind of Midway points to the show. So the very first one is a chap called Jim Carrey, you might have heard of him, Devon, and he said a few words we suddenly to a bunch of students. And this is one of the sort of the, that’s the snapshot of it. But how powerful is this, you listen to this.
Jim Carrey [40:08]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [40:34]
Isn’t that inspiring? i?
Devon Bandison [40:37]
Absolutely. That actually gives me the chills here in that. And I think that is something that will touch anybody who hasn’t anybody. It is a human element to that, that everybody has a choice in their life at one point whether to really follow their passion or their dreams are kind of settle for what safe. That’s really I never heard that. And thank you. I’m gonna listen to that again.
David Ralph [41:03]
Yeah, you you get it, it’s on YouTube. And it’s about 26 minutes, and most of it is for LA is Jim Carrey, after all right when he hits this bit in the middle, and that’s just one of the parts. And I just thought to myself, that is so true. And I think I spent many, many years settling. And it wasn’t that I bought, I was settling. It was just that I was on the wrong path. I was building a career for the money, basically. And it was only when I actually realised this and jumped off the cliff. That’s when I realised that I’m finding my passion. I’m finding what I should be bringing to the world. And I’m I’m failing and failing at something but you know, it could go amazing, or it may not. But I’m willing to accept that unfailing until it becomes something that can be classed as a success.
Devon Bandison [41:54]
Absolutely, I mean, one of my favourite quotes is Winston Churchill, you might have heard of him. Yeah. And he said that success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. And I think that when you’re following your passion, when you’re following kind of your dream and your goals, it’s always with enthusiasm. You know, when I come home, and I had, you know, I was working and doing the consultant and working nine to five and coming home and building my own business. The the time after work stopped feeling like work to me, because it really was what I was passionate about what I love to do. And it became something that I knew that I had to take the risk and and just do. And because of it, success followed after that, and not because I put a plan together, and I’m successful No, because I had so many times where I didn’t reach what I thought was my ideal level of success. But what it did wasn’t redirected me to where I should have been. And I would never have known that. If I you know, I wrote down my plan and I mind map to where I thought it should go. And it ended up somewhere totally different. But in a way that
really was beyond my wildest dreams.
David Ralph [43:19]
Let’s play some words that say those Barre words that you’ve just said in a different way visit Steve Jobs. But um, I think you know what he’s saying,
Steve Jobs [43:29]
of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference. And that’s exactly what you were just saying, isn’t it?
Devon Bandison [44:07]
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think Steve Jobs, you know, powerful, speaker, powerful man, very creative. I think he hit it right on the head, that when you look back and connect the dots, it’s really those times where you didn’t reach your ideal level of what you thought you were going to be that directed you in a way and actually was a crossroads. Because when I sometimes when you get redirected David, you know, you’re standing almost on the cliff. And you say, Do I go to safe route and just retreat and say, let me go to my nine to five or whatever it is that safe for you? Or do I make that leap of faith and say, I don’t want to look back 1020 years from now and regret that I didn’t go after that goal. Or my dream? Because I think a goal is just that. I want to like positive in you know, I listened to quotes and affirmations. One thing I heard I think was, somebody else said a goal is just the dream with a deadline. And sometimes when I come up on that deadline, or I get redirected, it brings me to different levels of success.
David Ralph [45:17]
Does it excite you to hear those words, after your life has progressed through to a certain point? And you hear those words? Do you kind of think to yourself? Yes, it’s going to start again? And where the hell am I going to end up? I don’t know that. Does it excite you? Or are you really comfortable where you are now?
Devon Bandison [45:35]
No, it always excites me. I mean, even hearing I’ve heard that speech before. Every time I hear it, it does something for me. Because if for me, David, if I was comfortable where I am now, I would just be repeating the same thing that I did 1015 years ago. Yeah, I’m doing pretty well. And I like where I’m at. But now what what connecting the dots from my passes done is let me know that there’s more to come. There’s more opportunity. There’s more times in my life where I’m going to have to take another leap of faith. And now I think I’ll be able to see it when it’s coming.
David Ralph [46:19]
And is it easier to take a leap of faith once you’ve done it, you know, I’ve taken a leap of faith. And I quit my nine to five job and I’m now doing this. And I’m I’m much poorer than I was. But I Fingers crossed, ultimately will pan out. And I kind of thing now I’ve done it once I do it again, I wouldn’t get it that first one. But it’s the big thing, isn’t it. But once you’ve actually done it, and you’ve actually landed, and you look around and you think oh, I haven’t broken my legs, I might be able to walk around here a bit, you can start taking those creative risks. It’s that first one that really is the scary one and everyone. I don’t care who they are, will be sitting on that first one moment.
Devon Bandison [47:02]
Absolutely. And it’s the evidence you’ve seen it. And David, there’s no doubt that your leap of faith will pay off. I mean, I’m not just saying that in theory. But as I followed you, like the person who told you early on, while you were starting the show, when you’re providing hope to people, when you’re being able to lift people up from their current condition to see further than where they are, that is always going to pay off at some level, you know, and it’s just about for me being consistent, persevering through the difficult times, and not giving up. And I think that um, you know, when you when you reached out and we were going to do this show, it was an honour because I you actually have gotten a follower in me, because I love what you’re doing. So I want to say kudos to you. And please keep up your great work.
David Ralph [47:57]
Thank you, buddy. I appreciate that. Appreciate that. I really, really do. Who else inspires you in the world of Devin? Who is somebody you know, that you look at? And you go, yes, that person really has nailed it. Not only are they successful, but they’re they’re doing it morally and they’re doing things in the right way who impresses you.
Devon Bandison [48:18]
I think there’s a few people I think that starts on my mother’s one she she took you know, she was a hospital administrator decided she was gonna move down to Florida, went back and got another degree just to be a teacher in give back to the youth because that’s what you want to do in her later life. I think people like actually, you know, I’m connected to basketball. There’s a guy used to play for the Knicks name, Allan Houston. Allan Houston play for the Knicks was a pretty good ballplayer, but then dedicated the rest of his life to creating fatherhood programmes for fathers in the community. I think that people who take their resources and able to direct it in and look, I don’t mean, you know, selfless doesn’t mean that you’re just giving, for me giving and you’re not receiving anything. The parallel in life for me is always that whenever I’ve gotten out of my, my, in the moment, selfishness and given to others, I’ve always received so much more in turn, whether it was a commitment from people, whether it was monetarily down the line, or whatever it was, whenever I was committed to giving to people, it always came back tenfold. And those are the people that I really look look forward to. I think Bill Gates is doing a lot of great stuff throughout the communities and throughout the world. I think, you know, he’s one person who made a whole boatload of money and one of the richest people in the world and could have just settled on that. But I also appreciate what he’s doing with his wife throughout the throughout the world and trying to make the world a little better place.
David Ralph [49:57]
But you’re making the world a better place. And we your blog, just before I put you on the Sermon on the mic, and we send you back in time. Tell us about now legacy now. legacy.com, what is it that you’re trying to provide to the world?
Devon Bandison [50:11]
Right, so now legacy com is about really creating your legacy now. Right? We often say now is the new later, right? We always say legacy often is when I pass away, how will they remember me? And I think that now legacy provides tools of leadership, success, fatherhood, these are all the areas that I tried to positive, positive self affirmations, productivity, these are all the things that I try to address on now legacy to give a format of people to be the best version of themselves, they can be that they’re proud of that their families proud of that the impact on their job, the community is really a lasting legacy of success.
David Ralph [50:56]
Because I spent a couple of hours looking around that site. And it really, it really speaks to you. And it speaks from you, doesn’t it? You know, I’m listening to it. And I’m reading it. And I’m thinking to myself, this is about me. But it is something that is just a human portal, isn’t it that now legacy? You’ve really written some good stuff there. But that is leaving his mark.
Devon Bandison [51:19]
Absolutely. Well, thank thank you, David. And I think so. And the feedback we’ve been getting has been really positive. I think that to be able to connect with people on from all different levels. You know, I’m is amazing to me, you know, I’m a guy who feels comfortable, no matter where I am, I spent a lot of times in the community. And then I also spend a lot of times in executive boardrooms. And with no matter where I am, or whoever I’m with, I feel just as comfortable and connected and finding that common element of humanity. And I think that that’s what we’re trying to continue to create, with now legacy and with, you know, the movement. So
David Ralph [51:59]
Well, let’s see how connected you are with your younger self, because this is the better the show when we send you back in time. And if you did go into a room and you spotted a young Devon, what would you say to them? What advice would you give them? And what kind of age would you choose? Would you choose a five year old? Would you choose the basketball playing teenager, I’m going to play the music and when it fade, you’re up, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [52:30]
With the best.
Devon Bandison [52:45]
So listen, 13 year old Devin, this is what I’d like you to know from your future self. As you go through these younger years into early adulthood, I want you to really try to spend time understanding yourself, trying to understand the person that makes you unique, and makes you special in this world. And as you take time to assess and do an evaluation of yourself, see how you can be the best version of yourself that this world can see. You have the ability to change a lot of lives. And you only do that by accepting all of you. I don’t mean just the good parts, but also the the parts of you that you feel may not measure up and take those and use that as a fuel and a passion to change the world. And what I would challenge you to do is keep an open mind, make sure that you’re making valuable and meaningful Connexions with people that last because it’s going to be about Connexions. It’s going to be about your purpose, it’s going to be about your passion. And what I would say as you go into your young adulthood, Don’t settle for complacency, young Devon, what I want you to do is to challenge yourself to dream The Impossible Dream. Because anything that you put your mind to, you could surely surely achieve your great and there’s people around you who are great, and you can inspire by people, by people in this world with a positive impact and integrity and passion and empathy. Have a great life. You’re going to be very successful. Just follow these ways.
David Ralph [54:28]
I love that. And I almost wanted to burst into dream The Impossible Dream did did you
Unknown Speaker [54:35]
did you feel?
Unknown Speaker [54:37]
Devon Bandison [54:38]
That’s really powerful David, really powerful part of it, because it taps into something that if you don’t take time, really you’ll be able to feel and and I really appreciate that about this. This this show because it truly does from beginning to end to end. Connect the dots.
David Ralph [54:59]
That’s one it’s all about and how can people connect with you Devon?
Devon Bandison [55:05]
Yes, so my blog is now legacy com but I’m also on Twitter. My Twitter name is at now legacy You can also find me on on LinkedIn and on Facebook. So it’s Devin Banda son de vi o n, ba n di so when on Facebook, I have a page that Devin badness and company and on LinkedIn you can just type my name in. So you can Twitter is always the best way and in real time to find me. So you can definitely hit me up on Twitter and I’d love to connect with everybody out there.
David Ralph [55:41]
Well, you’re going to have a lot of fans because you provided so much value here. Kochi, john probably doesn’t like you but everybody else does. And so thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I really do believe that by joining up those dots and connecting our past is the best way to DEF, def and Banda son, thank you so much.
Devon Bandison [56:03]
Thank you David have a great day.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.