Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Ellory Wells
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Introducing Ellory Wells
He is someone who as we discuss time and time again on Join Up Dots can pinpoint the moment when his life changed forever.
He knows his big dot on the Join Up Dots timeline.
In January of 2009, after seeing his career flourish.
He was laid off, and found himself unemployed for three months.
And within those three months, Mr Ellory Wells started learning about himself.
What he wanted to achieve in his life.
And how he wanted his life to be.
How The Dots Joined Up For Ellory
The key thought to everything he starting planning at the time, was in his words “I really discovered how working for someone else is just as risky as working for yourself.”
So Ellory Wells began his personal leadership blog, which he uses as a platform to share what he had learned about leadership, personal development, personal branding and how to develop a leadership mindset.
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Mr Ellory Wells.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Ellory Wells such as:
Why we always think that in life strangers have everything that we want!
How he took an 80% pay cut and realised the freedom he got was more important than the cash in many ways!
How Ellory Wells turned the C-Team in soccer into a tight, well drilled machine, by making them play as a unit, and not a bunch of individuals!
How moving into theatre at school was one of the key moments that pushed him out of his comfort zone, and man it was uncomfortable!
How it took him many years to realise “You must do what you want to be known for when you die”!
How if you are not passionate about what you are doing in life, you will always be outperformed!
How To Connect With Ellory Wells
If you want our whole collection of shows then jump over to the podcast archives here
Audio Transcription For Ellory Wells Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:26]
Good morning to you. Well, good morning to every one of you. I love you all. I really do love you, because you are the ones who make this show. My listener figures aren’t going through the roof at the moment. And it’s only down to you guys listening, downloading, sharing it with your friends, and really sort of boosting it. So thank you so much. I just wanted to start with a simple thank you so much for making the show what it’s become. Episode 96 is the second of August. So we’re taking on through the year, and we’re taking on the fruit of guests as well well, and today’s guest is someone who, as we discussed time and time again on join up dots can pinpoint the moment when his life changed forever. He knows he’s big.on the join up dots timeline, in January of 2009. After seeing his career flourish, he was laid off and found himself unemployed for three months. And within those three months, he started learning about himself pretty good time, don’t don’t just lay there on the sofa, play Minecraft or start learning about yourself. And he found out what he wanted to achieve in his life and how he wanted his life to be. The key to everything he started planning at the time was in these words, I really discovered how working for someone else is just as risky as working for yourself. So began his personal leadership blog, which he uses as a platform to share what he’s learned about leadership, personal development, personal branding, and how to develop a leadership mindset. So we have a lot to cover. So let’s bring onto the show to start join up dots Bo one and only Mr. Me. Well, how are you today? Yeah, very
Ellory Wells [2:03]
good. I’m, I’m a little impressed. Well, very impressed about that intro. You’ve done some research.
David Ralph [2:08]
I’ve done a lot of research about you. Yeah, okay. I like to stalk I stalk virtually I’m not brave enough to stalk in real life. So this is this is something I’m liking. I troll websites, looking at old pictures and Facebook and little things like that. And it’s um, yeah, it’s you. You’ve had a bit of a fascinating life, haven’t you? So let’s just start with where you are. I believe that you’re in Texas.
Ellory Wells [2:33]
I am. I am in Texas, just about 30 miles north of Austin,
David Ralph [2:39]
up into Austin. I literally every place in America I always have a little story about and it normally has to do with alcohol and drunkenness and vague memories of the place. But I have some
Ellory Wells [2:51]
What do you remember? What are your vague memories of Austin bed traffic and, and good?
David Ralph [2:57]
No, I remember playing a couple this this police chief there was there was a place somewhere near you know it, wasn’t it that was in New Mexico. There was I’ve had to sort of run ins with the law in America. And well, it’s quite good. I find the law I’m actually quite pleasant once they realize that your English and you don’t know what you’re doing out there. And this this one guy who was in Austin kept on stopping us and we were lost. And we was driving around. And after sort of that the third time he said to us, you know, look, I’m off duty soon. Why don’t you come and play temping bowling so there’s a 10pm holding place somewhere in Austin. I don’t know where it was. And we went Yeah, okay, we’re come along. So he sort of went along with these these lights flashing. And we followed him to this this bowling alley. And we played these, these coppers these these police people who were off duty and occult we won. And afterwards, we then took me to the bar somewhere near this building early. And we had we had drinking sessions to about three o’clock in the morning. And the bar apparently closed at one o’clock. But just because they were in there it just kept on going on on on the that the police the police in Austin had got powers I wouldn’t believe Have you? Have you done anything like that? Have you frequented alcohol with the local, the local plot as we call them in the UK?
Ellory Wells [4:17]
No, I haven’t. But I’m kind of curious about of course, we won at bowling. What do you mean by you saying that people in Austin Campbell. And Dave,
David Ralph [4:26]
I just think that we were focused. I need the American police. I think they were resting on their laurels Really? And us as Brits, we would focus because you don’t want to lose in a foreign country. Do you?
Ellory Wells [4:40]
Know when you took a risk though, beating beating the police at their own game? I don’t know. They might have thrown you in the slammer. And I had my best score
David Ralph [4:51]
ever. 200 never never gone beyond that. Never. Normally I get about hundred and 80. But I was on 200 I was like a man possessed.
Ellory Wells [4:59]
You were motivated.
David Ralph [5:00]
Yeah, every time I picked up the bow, it just kind of flew off my hand. It was like my, my hand was making love to it and it responded to my touch.
Ellory Wells [5:11]
That’s good. I am nowhere near that good at bowling. I don’t bow that often. But to answer your other question, no, I don’t think I’ve I’ve been drinking with too many police officers.
David Ralph [5:23]
Now it’s not a wise thing to do. I don’t know how we got away with it. So So what do you do in Texas? Because obviously, you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment building your brand. So when you not focused on that, what does Emily wells do with his time?
Ellory Wells [5:38]
I I stay inside in the summer. It’s It’s hot. I mean, it’s only like 95 today, it’s not the hottest summer we’ve had but sometimes it gets you know 110 degrees which I don’t even know what that is and in Celsius but it’s it’s warm. I stay inside I like video games and TV movies when it’s cool. I know I you know beer or wine on the back porch with the with the cigar. Enjoyed golf. I’m terrible at it. But like playing and sometimes I go to the pool. Not all that often. But I work a lot David I’m sure you do, too. You’re just telling me before we started recording how much time you’re spending on this podcast. And I couldn’t connect with that I couldn’t agree.
David Ralph [6:28]
It’s it’s one of those things that’s taken me by surprise me. I honestly thought that when I quit my my corporate gig, I was going to have a life of luxury. And I certainly haven’t got to that point at the moment. I’m kind of the kind of things No, that’s good. That is good, because I’m learning absolutely the nuts and bolts of it all. And so when I do hand over certain things to say a virtual assistant, which is going to be my plan, I will know that part of that role inside out. So that virtual assistant start saying to me always taking eight hours to do that. I’ll go No, it’s not I can do it in about 25 minutes, what you’re what you’re doing. So I think there’s been a big learning curve, which is gonna hold me in good stead as we move on. But certainly the learning curve for the hours, the hours and you know, I don’t want to make this sound like a misery guts talking because I love this. I love this better than anything. But it has taken me by surprise how much time it takes to get everything going. So you can almost put it on automatic pilot.
Ellory Wells [7:29]
Yeah, it takes it does take a lot of work. But I think you’re doing the right thing. I don’t know exactly how long you’ve you it’s been since you are in the corporate environment. But I think the people who just kind of go immediately into outsourcing or offloading to VA, I think there’s there’s a little bit that they they do miss you know, what, what does it really take to edit a podcast and through that editing process, you do learn, hey, I can do this a little bit different do this a little bit better streamline things in you as a person or as the host, or just as a business, you get better by doing the stuff that’s not quite as glamorous as you might have dreamed it to be. It’s just by putting in the work you get better. So
David Ralph [8:13]
but but no job is really glamorous. When it becomes a job. I was talking to a chap the other day who’s an airline pilot, and you kind of go, that’s a sexy job. You know, they get the uniform, they got their little bags, and they walk along with the women and they go straight to the front of the queue. And he was saying that the majority of airline pilots want to get out of it. Because it’s just long hours. It’s like being a big, it’s not being a taxi that flies. And yeah, I thought that was a glamorous job. He said no Far from it. And I suppose you know, this job that I’m doing now will seem glamorous to other people. Certain things I look at, you know, like a professional football player, you kind of go, Oh, that must be great. But then it’s the training and looking after yourself and all that kind of stuff. You know, it’s all good. It’s fours and against, doesn’t it?
Ellory Wells [8:57]
Yeah, yeah. Casting or being on this kind of internet radio seems seems pretty glamorous, like you said, but, you know, yesterday, I started I had a mastermind that that started at 6am. And I went 10 or 10 hours or so not with those guys, but 10 hours without leave. Leaving my office. I think last Monday I put in 17 hours of stuff trying to get ready for a course launch. And there’s a lot of unsexy parts to it. But But I like what you said though, Dave, it’s you wouldn’t you wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t want to go back to the to concrete and steel building. For for anything this. I love doing this as much as much work as it is as much of these long hours and forgetting to eat lunch and you know, all of that kind of stuff. I I love it. And I sounds like you do too.
David Ralph [9:55]
I’m going to offer you a job lol my it’s in a corporate place the other side of in? And it’s free $180,000 a year? Would you take it?
Ellory Wells [10:08]
It depends on what it was
David Ralph [10:11]
you were just saying that you wouldn’t give this up for anything. And I fruit a first thing in front of you and you were seduced.
Ellory Wells [10:17]
I was but you didn’t say how many hours it was and what I’d be doing. You would be
Unknown Speaker [10:24]
most likely No,
David Ralph [10:25]
no. Because I I once offered a girl in my office, my ex office. And if you’re listening now, Melanie Pettit, the author is still there. And I said to her, you know, when I started this job, I need a PA and I will pay you 50 grand a year. And she said I’ll take it. And I said But the trouble is, I can’t afford a chair. So you’ve got to sit on my lap for the entire time. And she’s still in deliberation. And obviously, this is something that hasn’t gone via the wife. But the job is still there if you want it. Melanie Pettit if you’re still listening,
Ellory Wells [11:00]
I really feel like googling her right now.
David Ralph [11:04]
She’s the one that’s looking slightly shocked. In can google images. Yeah. But yeah, you can get kind of seduced to to jobs but I’ve learned in the past, but when the money’s the highest is the most unhappy that I’ve ever been due to the fact that the company’s own you. And you do have to jump through hoops to justify that kind of money. When anyone says to me, I’m earning X amount of money now. Part of me kind of goes Oh, good on you. And the other part things or I don’t think I’d like to do that anymore.
Ellory Wells [11:35]
What if David I just can I came up with this idea on the spot. But what if instead of like, Oh, I make $380,000 or $80,000? Or, or whatever, whatever it is, what if we said I have 20 hours of free time every week, or 30 hours of free time ever? What if we just changed the currency from money to time, and I think that’s where you and I have? Well, I think we have a lot in common actually. But what that’s that’s an interesting concept, oh, I make X amount of dollars. Instead of, Oh, I make X amount of free time. And I can do what I want. When I want from wherever I want to say interesting idea that you just gave me,
David Ralph [12:14]
I’m going to try that before you before you run off and become a multi millionaire with that.
Ellory Wells [12:19]
But you’re right, it’s not all it’s not all about the money. It’s I took a huge, huge pay cut from like 80% if our household dropped 80% in money, but the freedom, the the different type of stress, but a better kind of stress and in the freedom to talk to you, you know, on the middle of the day on Thursday, even though this is going out in the future, but just the flexibility in the fridge. It’s not all about the money. And as soon as, as soon as society or the culture just kind of wakes out to the fact that you know, if you can make less money, but have bunch more freedom, you’d be a whole lot happier. because like you said, when the more money you make, the more stress there is, the more the company owns you. Someone said on my show, they called it the golden handcuffs. And I think that’s a really, really good, good analogy, like, the more your time, the more money the more tied you are to it. I suppose
David Ralph [13:17]
the thing is, you know, we’re obviously kindred spirits the way we think. But there are a lot of people that thrive on that. And I this show isn’t for you guys. So if you’re in a job, where it’s long hours, and it’s real pressure, and you are somebody that loves bad and good on you, but certainly when I was in that situation, it almost destroyed me really, I wasn’t mentally strong enough to go with that pressure day after day after day after day. And I used to actually break out in night services around van, the sort of side of my head. And when I was off, it would clear up. And then as soon as I went back to work, it would come back on again. It was just pure pressure and stress I was under
Ellory Wells [13:59]
Oh yeah. Like you don’t even want to take a vacation because you know the pile of crap that you’re going to come back to and you’re you head back to the office kind of stuff.
David Ralph [14:07]
Yeah, he’s not good. But let’s take you back. Because you are on join up dots so we are going to look at your progression, we’re going to look at your history. And I’m looking at right review at the moment. And you do look happy as Larry, you’ve got a little goatee beard going on. And you just look like you look like a relaxed baby with a beard. I’ll be honest,
Ellory Wells [14:28]
and relaxed baby. I’ve never been called the relax, baby.
David Ralph [14:34]
That’s exactly what you look like. And you were somebody in January of 2009, who was laid off or sacked or made redundant or whatever it was. Now, when you look back on man, I want to start with this question because it’s something that we normally lead up to, was it a really bad time in your life, but you now look back on it and kind of go Actually, it was a terrible time in my life. Without bad, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Would it be as clear cut to say that?
Ellory Wells [15:05]
I would I wouldn’t say it could have it could have been worse. I could have had been married, had kids and mortgage and all those things. But I was single and paying rent. So I didn’t own a house or anything. So, but it was pretty rough. I mean, I was about to buy an engagement ring and propose to my girlfriend and start that life together. And I had been out of college for two or three years, I guess. And or should I say out of university. I don’t know the local lingo. But I’ve been out of college for two or three years. And I was well educated. I was hard working in being laid off just threw a wrench in the plan. So like I said it could have been worse. But yeah, it was pretty rough. What
David Ralph [15:59]
have you had worse times and if you had times in the join up dots timeline that you can actually go now. That was my bottom? That was my lowest point. Are you somebody that is quite blessed and has sort of floated through life quite happily?
Ellory Wells [16:14]
I would I would not say that. I’ve just floated through life. happily. But um, yeah, there’s been some, some rough times in my life, not necessarily the last few years, I’m trying to think of one. I think the bad parts for me is when things just don’t go according to plan. But as soon as the words come out of my mouth, David I mean, nothing really goes to plan. So has there been this just huge, colossal? black mark on my life? I don’t. I don’t know. There’s been some tough parts and tragedies and things, but nothing that may fit your fit your example or what you’re thinking of? I don’t think
David Ralph [17:06]
so I think you’ve been blessed. I think you’re a bit like me. I floated through life. And on the great scheme of things, nothing bad ever happened to me.
Ellory Wells [17:16]
I mean, I’m ever been, you know, definitely ill or homeless or, I mean, I’ve been broke before. I’ve been completely broke without $1 to my name, but I think most people could probably say that at some point in their life. So if that’s if that fits the bill, and absolutely, but I do I do feel blessed that you know, there’s there hasn’t been this huge tragedy in my life I’ve been surrounded with with good people. I’ve got great friends and good family. And so not that that’s like a rags to riches story. But I’ll I don’t know.
David Ralph [18:01]
Do you think that you’ve got a positive mindset? because now you’re doing yourself personal branding, and you’re developing a leadership mindset? Do you think your mindset was always there? And it was a kind of leading question, because it seems to me that everything that you do is about positivity, and overcoming obstacles and challenging yourself. And the fact that I asked that question, and you kind of went, Oh, I can’t really think of anything, you know, dreadful that happened. Things must have happened. But did you think you’ve always as a small child even had that positive mindset, but you never looked on the dark side of life, it was always things were going to be a silver lining.
Ellory Wells [18:38]
I don’t think I’ve ever had a point in my life for a mind period of having a certain mindset of looking at the dark side of being negative. But I can’t say though, that I’ve always been positive David I read a book. Looking at looking behind me on my bookshelf here, and I don’t see it was it was by Norman Vincent peel, I think it was
what was the name of it?
The Power of Positive living maybe. And that’s kind of reading that book is where, where I came up with kind of a personal motto for myself. And it’s just you can’t make a positive change with a negative attitude. And no, but it sure misery loves company. And it’s it’s fun to to hang out with your buddies and just complain about work and stuff like that. But what are you really accomplishing by being negative, nobody? Sure it’s fun to go and do those complaining, but it gets old real fast. And you’re not going to get anywhere, you’re not going to make a positive change in the world, you’re not going to impact your boss or get a raise if you’re negative. So there’s not a whole lot of point in doing that. Again, it’s fun to commiserate. And, you know, and this sucks. And wouldn’t it be cool if and all that it’s fun to for a little while, but it doesn’t get anything done. And at least for the last couple years, especially since reading that book. That’s that’s kind of how I’ve tried to live my life, it wasn’t a conscious decision, it was just kind of over over a period of time realization that there’s got to be a better way than being negative all the time, it doesn’t make you feel good either to be negative, you just get depressed. And that’s a downward spiral, too. So might as well be positive.
David Ralph [20:31]
Yeah, I totally agree. I’ve never been a negative person in any shape or form. But I have tried to become even more positive. And genuinely, there is a switch that the more positive you are, the better things that occur to you. And I read a book once, I can’t remember what it was. And this chap said he put an elastic band on his wrist, he might have been jack Canfield or someone like him. And he said every time he had a negative fall, he would twine himself with this elastic band. And he realized that he’s wrist was getting red roar, because he kept in training his band. So he consciously stopped thinking negative folds. And he said, as he stopped thinking them, the improvement in his life was astonishing, because that positive outlook, put himself more open to opportunities, because he was actually, you know, pushing himself out a bit more than he would have done before. And things just incrementally improved for him. And he put it right down to this, changing his mindset by by training this elastic band on his arm, every time a negative thought popped into his head, he was training himself to become positive.
Ellory Wells [21:39]
Well, for me, it’s it’s almost a even more practical thing. If you had gone to my website, and you had just saw me or read me complaining and complaining and complaining? Would you ever want that type of attitude? Or specifically me in this example, on your podcast and talking to your audience? The answer is probably no. And if you’re looking at people who you could potentially learn from through a course that I have to offer or do business together, and we we bring together you know, some products to sell them to a collective group, would you ever want to do that with someone who all they do is complain. So from a practical standpoint, to not just like, hey, it’s all rainbows and butterflies, and we’re going to live happier if we think happier, that’s cool too. But just from a strictly practical standpoint, you don’t want to do business with someone who’s negative all the time, it’s going to bring you down it’s going to bring the quality of your products and services and your message down to and it’s not going to be any fun either. So like I said, it’s it’s more than just a mindset I try to be very practical to and not that you’re not but just there’s a practical side to being positive nobody wants to be associated with negative so there’s there’s benefits for both perspectives.
David Ralph [22:57]
So you’re a businessman, you’re an owner entrepreneur but you’ve had many different areas you know when he was young will little person you was very big on soccer, which isn’t common in sort of America is a is is is more our kind of thing as football as we call it. And then you went into theatre. Now that that was a sort of strange transition. What What did those things give you? Have they given you anything that you’re you’ve taken with you now?
Ellory Wells [23:27]
There has actually in growing up playing soccer, of course it’s a are our football, right?
David Ralph [23:34]
That’s right. That’s the way we told
Ellory Wells [23:36]
that’s the proper way. You know, as a side note, David I was because we’re we’re writing the big middle or towards the end, I guess of the the World Cup. We don’t hold every World Cup.
David Ralph [23:47]
was a World Cup this summer. I don’t think so. Being an Englishman, I think I blanked it out.
Ellory Wells [23:53]
Well, every few years, there’s this event where sometimes we all going.
David Ralph [24:01]
That’s it every four years, we go into a coma. And then we come out three weeks later, and it’s like a lovely dream. And I stretch my arms. And I fantasize but the world is a wonderful place. That’s what that’s what you’re talking about. Hello, isn’t it?
Ellory Wells [24:15]
Exactly this this dream state that you’re in for three weeks. But I was flipping through ESPN, I don’t really watch sports. But it was these American guys talking about soccer. And they just sounded like idiots. But some British guys or, you know, Spanish folks or whatever talk about so they sound so brilliant. And so it says when the American guys talk about soccer, it’s like, they don’t even they don’t sound cool, they don’t look cool. And they just sound like they don’t know what they’re talking about. So it’s just funny. So I know, it’s funny to me. But yeah, I grew up playing soccer, from about age four to 616 or 17 or so. And you learn how you learn how to work with a team. And I learned I went to a soccer camp at the Air Force Academy in Colorado. And I got placed on the C team, not a or b team. But the the third best team, but I was able just through dumb luck, or I don’t even I can’t attribute this to anything. But I was able to bring together the team as a unit where the A and B teams, they were all they were full of people who thought they were all hot shots and they couldn’t really work together. But I learned that if you work together you can do a lot of interesting things. And we we ended up being better than some of those, you know, a or b team is because we work together and I kind of developed this spoke in the wheel mentality, you know, I was in the middle of field and people will give me them I just distribute it and let them use their strengths. So I learned that from playing soccer and then you theatre I kind of got scared into doing theatre. My my teacher at the at the time, was kind of afraid of Yeah, afraid of her David and she said, Well, why don’t you try out for our one act play, which is a 40 minutes, no scene change or anything like that. Just a 40 minute play. And I did and I got a part. But through that process, I learned how to speak better how to carry myself better how to perform, and really get out of my comfort zone. And I did learn a lot through through that process as well.
David Ralph [26:38]
is getting out of your comfort zone is that one of the key things that anyone can do to start moving towards success.
Ellory Wells [26:48]
If you’re going yeah, absolutely. If you’re going to be successful, you have to get out of your comfort zone. And a guy by the name of Grant Cardone said this on a podcasts I was listening to called inspiration with Val, he said, in life, strangers have every thing that you ever want. And when you think about growing up, don’t talk to strangers, don’t talk to strangers, at least we’re taught that over here in the States. And he says strangers have everything you want in life and getting out of your comfort zone and talking to someone new might feel weird. For me, it is a very introverted person. But I like I like connecting with people. But talking to new people can be very difficult. But in business, you have to make these new connections. You know, if you wanted to get, you know, really strong and really athletic, you’d have to lift more weight than you think you can do and run, you’d have to run farther than you think you can. And it’s all about getting out of your comfort zone doing something that you didn’t think that you could do, so that you can see that personal growth. To get you further than you thought you could go
David Ralph [28:00]
is amazing. It sounds like a small child is in the background is a baby or something.
Ellory Wells [28:06]
Surprise here, there’s my my office door is closed. And that is my cat
David Ralph [28:10]
outside. I will not miss your cat, your cat banging on the door trying to get in Africa. Very good. He is across the pond, we can pick up anything. So winning. So what was it in theatre, it wasn’t sort of, um, showtunes and all that that sort of pushed you in, it was just a scary teacher that sort of pushed you into that was it?
Ellory Wells [28:28]
Absolutely. And I’m not ashamed to say it, there were two there are two theatre teachers in my high school. And one was kind of known for being really laid back and kind of the Easy, easy, good grade. And the other one, Mrs. Shaw, or miss Shaw, she was not known as being very friendly. She was very strict. And she didn’t put up with the crap that you know, high school students want to get away with. And also I went to theater because I didn’t want to do art, like the painting and drawing part. And I didn’t want to do band playing instruments and stuff. So I went into theatre. And in one of her classes one day, we were doing an improv thing. And I don’t remember exactly what the improv was. But she said afterward, she said, Hey, or my backup, I applied to get into theater, you know, to the class and my luck, I got the what I thought was going to be the main teachers. Yeah, it was. It was it wasn’t it didn’t go as planned. But she said, Hey, I think you’d be good to to try out for the show. And we have auditions coming up. I’m like, why don’t you try out? And I was like, if I don’t, she’s gonna fail me. You know, I was I was scared of her. I didn’t. I didn’t know what she would do. So I tried out. And I guess I did good enough to get a spot in the play. And that’s, that’s one of those things. I’m going to talk about joining up all of all of the dots. That’s the definitely one of the things that has helped me today. Because I go to a Toastmasters group. And I can see a difference in me from these other people who might not have who probably didn’t have that, that exposure. So I did group theater, you know, there’s a troop of us, we, we performed all together. And I also did some solo things to you know, by myself reciting things and I went I competed at the state level for that I was in the top 12 in the state for think it was poetry. One year, can you tell by myself? I only vaguely it was it was a you know who Jim Henson is the guy that does the puppets.
David Ralph [30:46]
Yeah, Mr. Comment?
Ellory Wells [30:48]
Yeah, I think it was either him or his son. He wrote these little short, short poems, and they were funny. And the very what I opened with and I, it’s kind of a deadpan type of humor, but it says, so I opened up my little performance. I think they were about six minutes long. And I said Santa got Sally, a teddy bear for Christmas. Not knowing she had been mauled by a bear earlier that year.
David Ralph [31:17]
Can you can you do it incoming voice for us?
Ellory Wells [31:19]
Well, it wasn’t calm that I I changed different accents. I practice and had a vocal coach and stuff like that, but I don’t think we want to go on but it just, it was
David Ralph [31:32]
my show. It’s my show, right? And I become mature suddenly. So I’m going to bully you into this. So you will have a sing. Or you do Kermit, which which one you’re gonna do?
Ellory Wells [31:42]
I don’t even know what a karma would sound like, I’m gonna need an example for their
Unknown Speaker [31:47]
horn. It’s wonderful.
Ellory Wells [31:55]
I don’t I don’t even know I would. Where I would begin with that
David Ralph [31:59]
myself singing then. Singing we’ve moved over to there.
Ellory Wells [32:04]
Oh, that’s that’s just gonna disappoint the audience. I I’ve never been called a good singer before.
David Ralph [32:09]
Now, we won’t push you into that. But I just I watched the Muppets recently, and I’ve just been walking around the house for some reason. I don’t know. Why do we like join to talk like Kermit is one of these things. And I’ve been trying to talk like Kermit doing that speech that Liam Neeson does in taken. You know, when he says, I know where you are. I will find you and all that kind of stuff. And I’ve just been doing it with my kids all the time. And they are dead. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, I know who you are. Are you will hunt you down, and I will kill you. That’s good. I wasn’t expecting to do that on the show. Really?
Ellory Wells [32:50]
I think you should. You should practice it. Practice your texts and accent and impress all of us.
David Ralph [32:56]
What is a Texan accent? How would you describe it?
Ellory Wells [33:03]
Not as as country as you would think. Most people whenever you watch, at least on American television, they always put Texas people like with hats and cowboy boots and all that. And and that’s definitely. I mean, there’s some of that here. But it always bugs me we’re getting we’re getting stereotyped these were all cowboys here. And that’s not that’s not the case. So I don’t know what the accent
would be. We say y’all a lot.
David Ralph [33:35]
In the United Kingdom, whenever anyone talks about Cowboys, we think of Brokeback Mountain now. It’s always it always seems to be connected. I don’t know why, obviously, because we’re not surrounded by cowboys that can tell us off the thinking that.
Ellory Wells [33:50]
And there’s no mountains in Texas. So yes,
David Ralph [33:53]
absolutely. So So what do you love about your life? Now? Let’s, you know, January 2009, he was laid off and you you were unemployed for three months. And you learn a lot about yourself by reading these positive books and stuff. But how do you take that idea of there’s more to me than I’ve been offering. The risky approach is actually working for someone else, and actually turn it into a business because there’s so many people listening in today. I’m sure they’re not here just to listen to me doing stupid Kermit impressions, they’re trying to find that that stepping point where they can take that leap of faith and actually probably follow your path, follow my path and and create an income for themselves, which is all theirs. So how did you do that? How did you transition from that idea to actually being able to earn income.
Ellory Wells [34:41]
It was a long, it was a long process David I so that happened in 2009, like you said, and I worked on a fiction book, never published it. But I started writing got another couple jobs after that, and went back to work in the corporate environment. And I like that it. But I have since come to realize that if you have a job and work for a person or a company, all of your eggs are in one basket. And as soon as they don’t want you anymore, or they don’t need you anymore. All of your eggs are just dumped out and you’re you’re scrambling to figure out what to do next. But the process for me started in 2012, just so three years after I got laid off. But I started, I started blogging and in sharing the things that I was learning about leadership, personal development, productivity, those kinds of things. I started sharing that with friends and co workers and made a lot of mistakes along the way. Just didn’t things I didn’t know. I mean, I didn’t I didn’t really know what blogging was for a very long time. And I surely didn’t know how to be very successful. So I, I gave myself a really long runway to get going. And it honestly wasn’t even until about four months ago that I figured out what my purpose was. And, you know, listening to this podcast where you know, if you’re driving down the road, or you’re out, you know, doing something in the yard, the question that you should ask yourself is what do I want to be known for? When I’m when I’m gone? What is the legacy that I’m going to leave? Are people going to say? He was a funny guy? Is he going to say, are they going to say, you know, he helped me get out of debt and save money. For me it was I wanted people you know, at my funeral, it goes back to begin with the end in mind from the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People that Stephen Covey wrote, one of those habits is begin with the end in mind. He says, you know, imagine you’re at your funeral three years from today day, what do you want people to say about you, a friend, a co worker, and a family member. And I wanted people to say about me that I helped them, whether they knew it or not, I was providing value to them, you know, sending referrals to them, whatever it was, I was helping those helping people, whether they even knew it or not. And when I figured out what I wanted to be known for it, just kind of like a light bulb went went off for me David all these random projects that I’ve been working on for the last couple years. different tasks, different projects, different, you know, products, they all seem to come together under this idea of getting technology, technology, roadblocks and financial roadblocks out of the way to help entrepreneurs, or people that want to be entrepreneurs start something interesting. And again, once I figured out what I wanted to be known for what my purpose on this earth was, things that were random, became unified, and I had more energy and in more excitement for what I was doing. But it took me two years of daily activity, reading, blogging, listening to podcasts, whatever, it took me a lot of hard work to figure that out. But once I did, it was pretty cool.
David Ralph [38:21]
is amazing, isn’t it. But what you’re saying you’re you’re finding your unique self, basically, and you’re playing to your strengths. And it is amazing how things can become so easy when you finally finding the things that you should be doing. And as you say, all those kind of fragmented bits, it’s almost like having live Tetris. And you’ve got these shapes coming down over time, and you’re struggling to get them into the right position. But then suddenly, when you find your thing, everything’s easy, and you can just click and it all moves into place and all falls down into into the positions that it should be. And at that point, it should mean that your income is going up because your band providing more value you to people because you are providing the things that you want. Have you found that
Ellory Wells [39:06]
when the month after I left my job, I made more money than I had made in two years of blogging and podcasting before that, it just by putting the extra dedication into putting more of the more time into it. So to answer your question, yes. And just to share some advice with you. And the listeners that I’ve picked up along the way is with your blogging, and I think it was Derek Halpern, who said this, he said write blog posts that pre seed a sale. So that come before the sale. And I think it’s Oh gosh, I just what’s his name? Another guy that I know, he talks about giving away like 80 or 90% of your information, and then charging for the last little bit. And those are really powerful things when you’re looking at turning your ideas and your stuff into a product or your message into something that you can you can make money and make a living with. Those are things that are are those are those are things that we have to do that answer your question, I don’t know if it does,
David Ralph [40:16]
it does, it answers my question perfectly, because what you’re doing, you’re speaking from the heart, and you’re saying the kind of nuggets of gold that have been given to you, but not for realized answers. But you need to take that information that people share with you, and find out how it works in your in your own world. And that’s the thing that everyone has to do out there. Like they can’t replicate other people’s success. They’ve just got to try to do their own things, and you’re doing your own thing. So it’s quite difficult to actually explain clearly what you’re doing in certain regards. Because it’s it’s just your thing. Does that make sense to you?
Ellory Wells [40:55]
It does, it’s always interesting how the the podcast host can I forget this unique talent on when I’m being a guest but as the host, I can do it to take the the ramblings of the guest and summarize it in like 10 words or less and make it sound like oh, yeah, that’s that’s what I meant to say. So you said what I said, in a much shorter, better way. So thank you for
David Ralph [41:19]
clarifying for everybody out there listening? Well, no problem at all. And I’m going to play a couple of people that have taken words now, and have actually reduced it down to maybe 30 words, but how powerful these are. And the very first one that I’ve started throwing into the show now and I play it literally every show as long along with Steve Jobs speech, which is the theme of the show, is this one. And this is this is Jim Carrey recently, and I love this. So I’ve started playing this almost on every show. So I’ve listened to see what Jim Carrey thinks about life.
Jim Carrey [41:50]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an actor. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [42:17]
That’s pretty much what you’re saying the risky risky choice is actually now working for other people. Because your passion is on in there, generally you’re passionate on in there. And at any point it can be taken away from you.
Ellory Wells [42:33]
That’s very, exactly that’s very true. And even if you’re if you’re somewhat successful at doing something that you’re not 100% passionate about, you will always be outperformed by someone who is passionate about that. That’s why I was so good at selling technology for for so long. And I started racking up awards and trophies because I love doing it. But I started to lose passion for it. And if you just like he said, you might as well do something that you’re passionate about. Because if you don’t, you’re always going to be playing second fiddle to someone who is passionate about whatever you are doing.
David Ralph [43:09]
I lost my passion. In my role, I was a financial trainer. And people who are listening to this who used to work with me will know what I’m talking about. But there was a point that I thought I was really good. And I could out train anyone. And Ben, although I was still training to the best of my abilities, I felt like my abilities weren’t where they used to be. And it was time to actually reassess. I think the phrase is I just kind of lost my mojo and the passion that I had for it, which I’m feeling now on the mic doing this show just kind of diminished my talents. And I was very aware that the next person was going to come along, who was going to outperform me. And they were going to sort of say, Well, he’s not as good as he used to be. And I couldn’t I couldn’t find that comment, because I knew it myself.
Ellory Wells [44:00]
Yeah, I can see a definitely a parallel in my own career just where it was like, yeah, this is awesome. And then it just Well, I wouldn’t I wouldn’t say slowly faded, it quickly faded. For me, and I just that’s when you asked earlier about having a negative outlook. I think that’s that’s probably one of the more negative parts of my life is when I lost the passion for
David Ralph [44:29]
what I was doing in my corporate job. And that’s that began this slide into becoming unemployable of I know too much to go into a job anymore. And so that was probably one of the more negative parts in my life. When I became jaded with what I was with what I was doing, it wasn’t blogging, and podcasting. So I was grumpy and not happy until I was back at my home office writing and, and talking to people like you for my show. When you said, See, as you say, you know too much. When you see the opposite side, and you see how other people are living kick ass lives, it is quite difficult to keep motivated, because that’s certainly what happened to me. I suddenly knew too much. And I could see through a window, what the world was doing. And I was thinking, Why Why not me? Why Why am I just coasting? Why am I not actually playing to my strengths? Why am I not providing value to the world? Why am I not enjoying myself? And those answers coming back to me, you’ve got to leave, you gotta leave, you gotta leave, you’ve got to do it. And there was devil, an angel sitting on my shoulder saying, Oh, no, you can’t afford this. And the devil was saying go and just try, you know, what’s the worst it’s going to happen. And now, I would always listen to the devil on my shoulder, because I think that’s the one that actually plays the risky card, and takes you out of your comfort zone and pushes you a bit more, then the angel that kind of almost protects what you’ve got, and keeps you in a zone that you’re comfortable with. And I don’t think battle zone is good anyone because ultimately, you do lose your edge. And ultimately, your salary will go down and you’re no longer the shiny thing in the office and other people are playing, you know what you used to do really well, even better. And you kind of think, what, why? Why am I not doing that anymore? Why am I not being invited to these these meetings? Why am I not doing that? And it’s just because it’s a slight, slight, slight decline all the time of your strengths, your passion and your mojo.
Ellory Wells [46:29]
Have you used that analogy before about choosing the devil side instead of the angel
David Ralph [46:35]
type before? Nope, just came out on me, man, first time I’ve ever thought about it.
Ellory Wells [46:39]
I think that’s brilliant. I mean, I kind of want you to keep talking about that. Because you it’s like, is this the risky thing to do? Or is this the safe thing to do? And it’s it isn’t it’s rarely black and white in in the world. It’s just kind of these these differences of gray nothing is 100% right or 100% wrong. But the this kind of analogy that you said the the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other one does seem to say just just play it safe. It’ll be all right. It’ll be all right. The other ones like do something interesting, do something crazy. And we’re we’ve we’ve already talked about life being lived at the edge of your comfort zone. And that’s how you grow. I I liked this analogy that you’ve that you’ve brought up. I mean, it’s that could be that could be a life changing. way to think about things David I liked it.
David Ralph [47:35]
I think what it’s saying really is that little voice in your in your head, but we all have or that little voice in your heart that gets excited, but feels nervous bills, unwilling to take that step. I think the devil is the one that’s actually talking to yourself. And I don’t like the phrase devil because that sounds sort of sounds wrong. But it is the one that actually will make you conquer your fear and make you take that first step. And generally I’ve always found now Well, no, not even generally elevate. I will say this all the time. The things that actually scare me stupid now are the things I now focus in on. And I don’t like doing it at all, because it’s scary. But I still do that. And once I’ve done it, it wasn’t too bad. And actually I’ve just moved on a bit. And life is getting better and better and better. And it’s that kind of almost mental elastic band, but you’re tying yourself down to your position, but you need to just stretch it and stretch it and stretch it and ultimately it’s going to snap and then you’re going to get another elastic band is going to hold you in that position for a little while. But then you can push on, push on, push on. And then it just it just moves you on. And if you look at all the sort of mega successful people when you weren’t mega successful, straight away, they all started on little steps. And they’ve moved on moved on trying elastic bands gone. And I’ve had a little bit of luck and they’ve moved on it going again. But it’s that constant pushing against it pushing against it. But ultimately, something’s going to give and fingers crossed, you’re going to move into a better
Ellory Wells [49:01]
Well, I going back to my theater, saying I know I could have been a better actor or performer. If I would have been able to say to myself, don’t worry about people laugh at laughing at you for being you know, this big character type actor. And then you just played a character a clip from Jim Jim Carrey, what if he had had the same experience? Or just fell under the same? I don’t know, peer pressure, whatever, but fell victim to not wanting to be judged by his peers? I mean, we wouldn’t we wouldn’t have one of the greatest movie comedians, in the last, you know, few, several few decades or whatever. I mean, what you’re what you’re saying right now is really resonating with me what just what if you could just ignore all of the naysayers and the people that you know, are trying to keep you from doing something cool, and just did it because most of the time though, most of the time, the people who are the the ones trying to keep you down there the minority anyway, most people are going to like you anyway. But we focus on those few people that were worried about what they would say. But we if we asked ourselves, and we really thought about we don’t really give a crap what they have to say, anyway.
David Ralph [50:23]
So many people will anchor you and I’m going to play Steve Jobs in a moment, cuz I think it really sort of emphasizes what we’re talking about here. But so many people I find, will anchor you to the position that you were in, because they don’t want you to come across, they don’t want you to stumble, they don’t want you to fall, they kind of love and want to protect you, especially colleagues at work, when you say I’ve got this idea about something, you’re never going to do that your beer in four or five years. And because they feel that way, they will sort of anchor you to that position. But I’ve noticed that when you do go, No, I’m doing it and move on, then you will lose a certain amount of people that you were surrounded with. But other people will fill that void. And they are the people that are actually inspired by what you’re doing. And they’re inspired, and they wanted to take that action and instead of them holding you back, you’re actually pulling back with you. And I’m finding that more and more doing this. But a lot of people have been reluctant to take that first step are using my steps as the foot steps forward by following my dots. And that’s huge down in, in passionate and enthusiastic to me to think that that is happening. And it makes me want to make bigger and bigger jumps to see how many jumps the people behind me will do as well.
Ellory Wells [51:39]
That’s a good point. I mean, we all need. I don’t know if everybody does, but most people need a catalyst to get that to get to moving a leader to follow a push to you know, get out of the nest. Why not be that person why not be that catalyst or the leader or the person who gives them that that push? Because for, for better or worse. Most of us who have gotten to where we are David who have who are reaching thousands of people on impacting the world we can in these are the dots that you’re talking about. Most people can remember that catalyst that gave them the push. I mean, I know Michelle, for example, that was 12 1314 years ago and I can I could walk into my high school and show you the exact room and where I was standing where it happened. We remember the catalysts. We don’t remember all of the people who are just the vanilla the gray the bland in our lives we remember these catalysts. And people like Steve Jobs or Jim Carrey who have done incredible things. I mean Jim Carrey just said he remembered when he was 12 years old, what happened to his dad and how it changed his life. That was the catalyst for him. We remember those, those things. So why not? Why not be that catalyst so that we can have that same impact on on people’s lives. you’re sharing brilliance with me david i love it. Well, if I’m getting inspired over here,
David Ralph [53:13]
that’s what we’re here for weather. Hello. So let me play my catalyst. Because this is the speech of Steve Jobs and I remember the moment This was given to me and I read it, and I read it again. And I’ve been I left it for you know quite a while and then I was in my drawer one day, and I saw it again. So when I started to get this show together, for some reason, it was bad, it was in the back of my mind. And this is the powerful words of Steve Jobs spoke.
Steve Jobs [53:38]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [54:13]
Now to me now, the Jim Carrey speech and fat are exactly the same message is just one is shorter. And what he’s saying is, we’ve all got to have faith, we’ve got to trust we need to have intuition, and we don’t have all the answers. So well Jim Carrey Ben says is you might as well take a risk on doing something that you love. And when you put the two of those together, when you have got a powerful blueprint for success. It’s all down to you. It’s down to the actions you take. It’s down to those once I say stumbles and falls, but by moving on a path that you’re not sure where it’s going, it’s gonna, it’s going to end somewhere as an enemy.
Ellory Wells [54:56]
It will and it’s interesting, you just you’re giving me all kinds of ideas over there. 2000 miles away, whatever. But you know, you’re he is saying your dots, you’ll you’ll be able to if you look back, you can say yeah, these dots clearly lead me to where I am today. And Jim Carrey is saying if you can look back 10 years or went back to when you were 12. You You can you can connect these dots, why not make those cool? dots. That’s, that’s insane. And you if you if you get to the age of 60, 7080 years old, and you don’t like the life that you have lived, you can look back over the last 40 years and see a bunch of crappy dots connecting one another and it’s a it’s a, it’s a clear path that has gotten to where you are, at the same time, if you leave, lead this incredible life now listening to this, not devil but devil may care person go out and try new things think you’re going to be the exact opposite. But you’re going to have this incredible life at 80, you can still look back and say, Hey, I have done all of these cool things. And these are all incredible dots that have gotten me here. And it’s the exact opposite of the the 80 year old who doesn’t like their life. So why not make it cool, why not do something interesting. This is an awesome podcast. I’ve never said that on as a guest on the show before. But this one’s This is incredible.
David Ralph [56:24]
I’m only to tell you about because I feel on literally all the shows, we’re touching on something we’re touching on is inspiration is motivation. But there is a key point to all the shows. And I suppose it is it’s down to you. It’s down to you at the end of the day. Or you can listen to as many podcasts as you want. You can listen to as many blogs as you want, you’ve got to find that thing that you feel inspired about. But at the end of the day, even if you find that it’s still up to you to do that. And I’ve never liked the podcasts that kind of almost each. I always like the ones where when I’m listening to it, I kind of think, yes, you know, it’s like the rocky music’s playing in my in my head. And I just feel like I’m going to go out and run and get fit and stop drinking and do all those kind of things. And I think with this show, what we’re doing here is we’re providing hope to people, and I do want the listeners to know that you may no one’s got all the answers. But what we’ve got, we’ve got time to try to discover those answers. And if we can discover those, then ultimately you put enough of them together as you’re doing in your platform, you you will build a better life for yourself.
Ellory Wells [57:37]
And that’s what I think that’s what people connect with David is it’s not necessarily someone who has all of the answers, but we’d like going on journeys with people we’d like connecting with and relating to, to their stories and, and that’s that’s kind of what I feel like we’re doing today we’re just sharing our story in these, I think we’re having at least I am having some of these revolutionary moments that are very interesting. And I can’t wait to integrate them into into my message and what what I share with my audience to just we love stories and love connecting with them.
David Ralph [58:16]
That’s what join up dots is about join up dots isn’t about your journey isn’t about my journey, I think it’s about connections. And if we can share our hope across the world, the image of my, my podcast is actually a world with some dots going all the way around it and upset this one or two times on the show. But my first image was, wouldn’t it be great if I could create something that would affect people across the world, and we could all come together. And I kind of pushed it out my mind because it was too big for me to deal with. And I thought now I can’t, I don’t even know how to record, I don’t even know how to put up a podcast, I can’t think about those kind of things. But once you start getting a certain momentum that an original sort of thought can take care of itself. And it is just simply connections I’ve connected with you I’ve connected with all the other guess the listeners are connecting with us. And together, we we we buy into whatever we are talking about. And the world Fingers crossed can become a better place. But it’s not going to happen just by one person thinking about it. It’s going to happen by all of us joining forces to try to make our world and our personal lives better.
Ellory Wells [59:21]
David Ralph [59:22]
I think I had Jesus in me then I thought I thought I thought all inspired and powerful.
Ellory Wells [59:29]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was actually trying to find, I see I, I’ve seen your logo, I was trying to find a big, big image because I want to want to download it and use it for something, but I’ll send it
David Ralph [59:41]
to you, I will send it straight across to you. So just before we say goodbye to you, and I’m really don’t want to say goodbye to you either, because I think this has been a great show. The end of the show is what we call the Sermon on the mic. And this is when I play the music and what the music’s playing, you are transported back in time to speak to your younger self. And if you did go back into this or the younger world, what kind of enemy wells Would you like to talk to? Would it be the enemy? Well as as a four year old football player running around in team See? Would it be the one with Miss Shaw in the theater? Or would it be the one who’s been made redundant and trying to find their own path. So I’m going to play the music and when it fades out, you’re about this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [1:00:28]
With the best of the show the Sermon on the Mount.
Ellory Wells [1:00:45]
If I could go back in time, I would go back to whatever point where I started caring about what other people thought about me and tell myself to stop doing that don’t even go down that path. Don’t start worrying about what other people think about you and just do what what you want to do what you’re passionate about what you’re interested in, I think that would probably be maybe eight or nine years old. And I would also tell myself when I when I start realizing what friends are and what connections are I would tell that age Ellery that your network is too small when you get into your 20s and 30s. Your network is still too small you need to know more people connect with more people and start promoting them in in figuring out what they’re interested in and helping them get it that’s what I would say.
David Ralph [1:01:40]
Well I hope the little every wells is paying attention to that. How can people connect with you older listeners?
Ellory Wells [1:01:48]
Sure My website is Ellery wells.com You can find me on Facebook and facebook. com slash Ellery wells Twitter at Ellery well. And I’m also on LinkedIn slash Ellery wells, you can also throw my podcast there, you can go to empowered podcast.com. You can see all of my incredible guests there too, as well.
David Ralph [1:02:14]
We will put all those links on the show notes. And we thank you so much for spending time with us today joining up those dots of your life. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I believe that by joining up those dots and connecting our past it’s the very best way to build our futures. And we thank you so much.
Ellory Wells [1:02:31]
Thank you for having me on the show. It’s it’s been a revolutionary pleasure. Thank you, David.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.