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Cloris Kylie Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Cloris Kylie
Cloris Kylie is our guest today on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
She is a lady who has a background in a background in engineering, marketing and management.
Which has lead to her creating a business around…. ill let you think about if for a little while……lead generation, personal branding, communications, public speaking, social media marketing, and digital marketing.
Yeah you didn’t see that coming did you?
And I guess neither did our guest today, but it is true to say that at her core she has creativity flooding through her veins
As she says ” I was always an artist and writer at heart, but thought that marketing was the best way to make a living doing something that required creativity.
How The Dots Joined Up For Cloris
After a few years working in an insurance company, I realized that the corporate environment wasn’t for me, and thats when I made tough decision to leave the comfort zone of my corporate job and start my own business.”
But her adventure had a rough start. There were many unknowns, including her ultimate mission.
Which is the amazing part of what Join Up Dots has become for so many people across the world.
It is where belief grows into action, and action grows into whatever you want for yourself.
You cant see the real dream right at the very beginning, you just have to find out the vague direction that you want to go in, and then start walking.
So how did our guest manage to meander her way through the obstacles and create something amazing for her, her clients and of course the world?
And when she looks back does she have those “Man, what was I thinking…I could do it so much quicker now” thoughts?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Cloris Kylie
Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Cloris Kylie such as:
How life is built around moments and situations that are terrible and out of control, but you just cant get to where you want to be without them.
Why you should be very aware of who you are working for, so that you can build products that are needed before creating them….make sure you fill the need before anything..
Why Cloris believes firmly that we should spend more time looking back on the progress of what we have achieved than beating ourselves up about what we need to do in the future.
How she believes that in the early days she had a small mindset that needed to be shook up so that she could truly start to be the person that she was born to be.
And lastly….
How without two horrible Managers (who are named on the show) she wouldn’t be in the position that she is today….thank you Managers, but you were still bad people!!!
Cloris Kylie Books
How To Connect With Cloris Kylie
Return To The Top Of Cloris Kylie
If you enjoyed this episode with Cloris Kylie then why not listen to some of our favourite podcast episodes such as Charles Gaudet, Sean Swarner, Kris Reid or the amazing Joshua Latimer
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Full Transcription Of Cloris Kylie Interview
Intro [0:10]
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:35]
Yes, hello there. Good evening. Good afternoon. Good morning, wherever you’re listening to this show today. Thank you so much for being here it is Join Up Dots. It is Episode 560. And I’ll be honest with you, I don’t do this very often. I think I’ve never done this before. But I’ve actually opened a beer because it’s so sweaty, it’s so sweaty, but I’m also I’m a professional, it’s not, it’s alcohol free and I’ll be able to push through to Develop and design but show that you want to listen to because we’ve got a lovely lady on the other end of the line today. And she is somebody who’s got a fascinating background in so many ways. She’s got a background in engineering, marketing and management. And she’s got a background but doesn’t start in the in the Americas, but certainly has ended up there. Now with that background engineering, marketing and management is led to her creating a business around let you think about it for a little while. Lead Generation personal branding, communications, public speaking, social media marketing and digital marketing. Yeah, you didn’t see that coming, did you? And I guess neither did our guest today. But he’s true to say that at her core, she has creativity flooding through her veins. As she says I was always an artist and writer at heart. But for that marketing was the best way to make a living doing something that required creativity. After a few years working in an insurance company, I realised that the corporate environment wasn’t for me. And that’s when I made tough decisions to leave the comfort zone or my corporate job. start my own business but her adventure had a rough start. There were many unknowns including her ultimate mission which is the amazing part of what Join Up Dots has become for so many people across the world. It’s where belief grows into action and action grows into whatever you want for yourself. You can’t see the real dream right at the very beginning you just have to find the vague direction you want to go in and then start walking. So how do you now guess managed to me and her way through the obstacles and create something amazing for her clients? And of course the world and when she looks back she goes man Whoa, what was I thinking I could have done it so much quicker now fault. Let’s find out as we bring them to the show to start joining up thoughts with the one and only Cloris Kylie.
Cloris Kylie [2:43]
Well, good morning. What an intro. Thank you so much.
David Ralph [2:46]
I’ll be honest, I’ve edited about a bit out of life fluid email halfway through there. It might have sounded professional. I did a little bit of editing in the mix, but yeah, I went straight. Mmm, that’s the first time that’s ever happened as well. Close.
Cloris Kylie [2:59]
Well, that’s a sign of good luck. You know, here in Connecticut, that’s what it means.
David Ralph [3:05]
Well, you know, fly now I can’t believe that’s good luck anyway, so. So I’m in Connecticut, what do you do on a daily basis that excites you away from your business? Because I’m very focused on the last few shows of people that have got so involved in a business that they love that they’ve had to fight back and gain a life at again. And is that a problem with you? And what do you do in Connecticut?
Cloris Kylie [3:28]
Well, it has been a problem, I think, for entrepreneurs. So like, sometimes I remember one day I had been working so hard on the launch of one of my programmes, and I was exhausted in. I remember, I woke up and I said, Okay, I had it. I’m just kind of cash out of my savings, retirement savings and just go disappear. Nobody will ever know where I know where I am. And that’ll be you know, kind of meandering around the world for a couple of years until I run out of money and figure out what to do. was at that point, then it happened, you know, and then that’s when I realised that I had to take take a break. And since then I’ve been kind of like more religious about taking time for myself once in a while, just, you know, go away for the weekend. And there’s something I do everyday David that I think is super important. And that’s to take time for myself, right at the beginning of the day. So I wake up and the first thing I do is either go for a walk outside or a bike ride or something that kind of puts me in that positive mood and enthusiasm that I need to make things happen during the day.
David Ralph [4:36]
I find it very difficult to do that. I sort of open my eyes and I have a shower and then instantly is I’d be woken the kids up. I mean, we get the kids up and we get them out to school and I find it very difficult to fit that in unless I get up at the crack of dawn, which I do in the summer and I enjoy that when you get up very early. But it’s difficult in the winter, isn’t it and Connecticut must be the same in the winter. It’s a bit of a drag. Isn’t it getting out and going out for a walk first thing in the morning or maybe not,
Cloris Kylie [5:04]
you know, it is tough to go out because it’s so cold. Sometimes we get wind chills of, you know, negative numbers, so that I definitely don’t go out then. But at least I do some sort of exercise and I do have my weights and I do your push ups and something to get the blood flowing. As long as you feel that you’re doing something for yourself. Even if it’s just sitting down with a cup of tea, which I do in the winter, while I watch the weather forecast and the snow that is coming, then that’s what matters, so that you feel that it’s not just work, that there’s life beyond that.
David Ralph [5:37]
Now you’ve got an accent, which isn’t pure American. So I imagine that you have come from somewhere hot and exotic, and you’ve ended up in Connecticut. What was
Cloris Kylie [5:49]
that? Yeah, you’re you’re right. And yeah, I was born in Venezuela. And it’s interesting, an interesting story because my family is is parlour bunnies. In Spanish, and they all happen to migrate to Venezuela. And then, you know, my parents met. And I was born there and grew up there. And that’s when I went to college. That’s when I moved to Connecticut. So I have, I think, a really broad view of you know, different cultures and stuff, which is cool when you want to interact with people from all over the world. Like, like you.
David Ralph [6:24]
As you can do that anywhere. Oh, can’t you I, you know, I speak to everyone. I was just speaking to a guy who has moved to Costa Rica and I spoke to a lady beforehand, and she’s moved to somewhere hot and tropical. every entrepreneur I speak to seem to have a vibe of number one, being location independent. And number two, following the sun, which you can’t blame them. You can’t blame them. So what has your environment given you that you couldn’t get from taking your business which I imagine is transferable, you can actually carry it around with you. What does Connecticut give you?
Cloris Kylie [7:00]
gives me a lot of nature. I love being out. Like I said, I go out on my bike ride and have a bike path right next to where I live. I love to hike in that we have the mountains here and the coast is really close. So again, so the nature is here when I needed. And I tell you every winter, I think, okay, maybe I should move to Florida. That’s a typical thought, every single winter. But then I remember the hot, muggy summers in Florida and the books and I said, Yeah, maybe I’ll just stay in Connecticut.
That’s why I’ve been here for for many years.
David Ralph [7:36]
Okay, so let’s so really delve into your story because it is fascinating for me because you had a career. You worked towards a career but you’ve got to that point when you said, Now Hang on, this isn’t for me, and I understand what you did totally. You looked at a life based around creativity and thought, well, the best way of doing that is getting it out to the world. So marketing would be the perfect thing because we see it time and time again people create marvellous products, but then nobody finds out about it. When you look back on that, was that a big win? Although it may not seem like it, because you’ve moved on to different things. What’s that starting point one of your dots that you think Yeah, I’m glad for that.
Cloris Kylie [8:18]
Yes. And you know what, that dot wasn’t that clear for me. Like, it’s not like my life has been, you know, that nobody’s life. It hasn’t been a straight line and to know what’s next, and it was easy to connect, and you know, where you’re going. At some point I didn’t know like, when I remember when I left my corporate job. I didn’t intend to be an entrepreneur. It’s not like I said, Oh, I’m leaving. I’m going to start my own company. Yes, just I left and kind of life took me in that direction. And that’s one thing I learned that sometimes things don’t work out and you’re beating yourself up and you say, Oh, my God, you know, I failed and life is horrible. But somehow you end up being in a place You, you would never not want to have experienced, like you and I would not be speaking today if my corporate job had been better than I had been doing. You know what I wanted to do a little bit closer to that, because I still wouldn’t have been doing this, which I love, which is helping people having complete control over my schedule. And just feeling that I’m making a real difference in the world, you know, so I think it’s, it’s difficult when things happen and you feel terrible about it. But just remember, though, that you never know where you’re gonna end up and that that next place might be super exciting.
David Ralph [9:37]
I think everything is exciting. To be honest, I have days exactly that you have anyone who’s created something from scratch has days of Oh my god, that was too much effort. I’ve worked for a whole week and haven’t earned a single penny, you know, the early days of a struggle. But when you wake up every morning, and you think Yeah, I’m gonna go again. I’m gonna go again. That’s a big indicator that you’re on the right path, isn’t it? And once you get that time freedom, that you realise that actually you can go out for a ride on your bike in the middle of the morning, and you don’t have to ask a boss for permission, you can never go back and you close.
Cloris Kylie [10:16]
Exactly, yes. And what happens is, I think our economy and the world is just moving in that direction, though, people having more and more control of, of what they’re doing their schedule. And I say, I would say it’s not like everybody’s going to be an entrepreneur in the future. But we’re going to have more control over what we do. And our ideas become more of a currency. So you might be working in a corporate environment. But if you have brilliant ideas, then you can do all kinds of amazing stuff. You can have more control, you can make your ideas, you know, being implemented. So I think we’re moving in that direction, and it’s not going to be overnight. But I see that trend and it’s just growing and it’s an idea that cannot be stopped, like Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say
David Ralph [11:00]
So how do you translate these ideas actually into products and income producing activities because that’s, that’s a struggle, you get this idea. I could have 1000 ideas a day, really, things are popping into my head left, right and centre. But I know that I’ve got to get a website bill, I’ve got to get some kind of social profile, I’ve got to build connections with people, how do you actually take it from an idea to something that is, is workable for you,
Cloris Kylie [11:30]
I would say requires that you actually see what’s needed. And if your idea is something that can be profitable, especially if we’re talking about having a business, right, because you might feel like you have a great idea. But then we’re going to share it with other people. They don’t see the value in it. I mean, we see it all the time. I love that show Shark Tank, and is when you have a bunch of entrepreneurs and they go in and present a pitch that ideas to the investors in many times those ideas. They are Love with their ideas, but they’re really not feasible or not marketable. So, you know, of course they don’t get the the investment. So in our, in our case, I think every time I have an idea I asked myself, you know, do I really know that this is needed? And if I don’t, which is all the time, and I have to go out there and ask people and see what they say, because there’s nothing better than getting direct feedback from those around you from the people you want to serve. And if you get positive feedback, then explore it more. If not, you know, it’s not worth your time. And I would say that there’s one thing to add to that though, if you try something and idea to try to implement it, and it doesn’t work. That doesn’t mean that you yourself as a person are not worth it, though. It’s just that idea that didn’t work and you learn what didn’t work. And now you can look for something that works. So it’s just a matter of kind of keep trying and tweaking things until you find a winner. That’s that’s how it goes.
David Ralph [12:58]
But if you are As a corporate gig, and you’re listening to these podcasts and you’re thinking, right, I take that advice, I take what Congress is saying, and I, I’ve got to get my idea out to people. How would you recommend to do that? That first step? Because, once again, once you’ve been in it a while, you know, the ways to do it. And you know that you can connect on LinkedIn and Facebook and forums and all these different places. How would you do it for somebody totally new in a cubicle, listening to these podcasts and wanting to get that valuable feedback?
Cloris Kylie [13:34]
Well, the first thing you got to do is just talk to the people around you. I would just talk to all your friends and your family. And even better than that, before you go out and talk to people ask yourself, my idea can serve who who exactly do I want to serve? And it’s common that when you have this great idea, you feel that everybody’s going to love it, right? So, you you feel Yes, everybody’s gonna love my book or You know, my, my, my system that I have my product, but not necessarily. So that’s when you have to step back and focus on a small group of people and a niche audience. And that really pays off. There’s a mistake I made, because I wanted to serve everybody. And I thought everybody would just love what I had to offer. And I was wrong. And I wasted a lot of time and money, you know, doing that. So I would say ask yourself, what exactly do you want to help? Like, there’s this woman who came to me and she wanted to help people in transition to I said, Well, that sounds pretty interesting. So tell me what people in transition doing what they’re at. And she said, Well, you know, I help people who are graduating from college, they are in transition, right to go to the corporate world or whatever it is that went to do next. I also have people who are retiring because they’re in transition, right? And I also help people who are going through a divorce, because as a transition, so Okay, well, now I understand why you don’t get anybody asking to buy your services. And the thing is that you cannot speak the same language for all these people. So I think that’s essential that you really decide who you want to help first. And then ask for their advice. If you don’t know people who are who meet those requirements, or the description, then just find them. You know, Facebook is great, you can just join groups on Facebook where your ideal audience hangs out. It could be a LinkedIn group, or if you have a forum online forum, you can do that as well. Or just a meetup. You know, there’s meetup events in which you can network with people. And make sure those meetups are be are places where your ideal audience or client is going to be that way you can get feedback, you can meet new people, and every time you’re in business on your own and think even if you’re in the corporate environment, it’s all about creating relationships. We are in the business of building relationships and never forget that it’s one of the best pieces of advice I’ve been giving.
David Ralph [16:02]
So when you’re in the corporate environment, you’re sitting there at your desk and you’re looking around at all your other colleagues. And you think I’m not happy anymore. I don’t know why I don’t want to do this. Did you just leap? Or did you transition over a period of time? This seems to me to be two ways of doing it. Number one is try to earn more income than you were getting, or try to reduce the income that you’re spending. How did you do it?
Cloris Kylie [16:32]
Well, I actually trusted what people told me at the time, what happens is, I was ready to move on to another position that better match my marketing skills is what I wanted to do. So when I went to my manager, she said, Oh, sorry, you know, we can’t let you go. And we don’t know when you’ll be able to move. I would say at least a year or two years, I say, Wow, that’s really long. Because I was I’ve had been given an offer by another department, the marketing department. So went back and said You know, this is what they told me. And those managers said, Well, don’t worry, chorus just quit. And they will hire you again, sir willing. Yes, go ahead.
David Ralph [17:13]
To this Yeah, well, I’m gonna slow down to this right. So, managers generally I don’t trust them at all. So when they said to you just quit and then we’re hired Did you? Did you trust them? Did you believe them? Because I don’t think I would have done.
Cloris Kylie [17:28]
I know what I did. I’m a very, very gullible person. So I said, Alright, I trust you, you know, you really want me looks like and so I went ahead and I quit. And a week later, I hadn’t heard from them. So I said, Oh, I wonder what’s going on. So I call them up. And guess what? They never returned my calls and that was it. So I said, Okay, I guess I’m out of a job. Isn’t that glorious?
David Ralph [17:52]
What’s their names? Let’s Let’s out them on the show. These. These horrible people tell us their names.
Cloris Kylie [17:59]
There names. Oh, I don’t think Well, one of the one of them was Kate. And I don’t know what Kate is doing at this point. But yeah, I don’t think she feels proud of that moment, I hope. But yeah, I never heard from them again even emailed you. No, no, no word from them.
David Ralph [18:16]
Hey, Kate, if you’re listening to this, you should be ashamed of yourself. Now. Chloe’s was very gullible and very naive. I wouldn’t have trusted you at all. But you can’t do that to people it come back to bite you and now look at Chloe’s she’s, she’s an Uber successful person. And so you you did her a favour. You did her a favour, but you did it in the wrong way, Kate?
Cloris Kylie [18:37]
I know. Yeah, I hear you and but you know, now that I’m here today, like you said you she did me a favour because at that point, I had to figure out what to do to you know, I said, Oh, well I gotta get a new job or, you know, find a way to make money. And in the meantime, I was I was looking, sending applications to get a new job and then a friend of mine said, Oh, can you use to help out my daughter, she’s taking calculus and she’s in a lot of trouble. And because I have that engineering background, I said, Yeah, sure, I’ll help her out. And my friend is like a PE user. Well, all right. And I love working with this girl. And she really learned the math stuff. And that’s when I thought, well, maybe I can teach math to other students. Now, I started teaching other people at my friends, friends, and all of a sudden I had like all these people learning math, and later on LSAT prep was 80s standardised tests that students take to go to college. And that’s when I saw myself as a possible business owner. That was the first time that I said, Oh, my God, maybe I can have my own business that first time there was like a spark. It’s like, wow, maybe I can just make my own money. I don’t have to go back to the corporate world.
David Ralph [19:54]
And it was a real kind of moment when the clouds opened and the angels Oh, I started singing around you or was it just a very vague niggle in your stomach, but actually, you might be able to pull it off.
Cloris Kylie [20:10]
It was it wasn’t it was vague, because of course, I had another person come in and you know, another person was referred to you by this person. And I saw that progress. And I think that’s important, David, like when we’re doing something new, to really notice the progress we make. Because sometimes, like, if I look at myself where I am right now, in something happens that I didn’t expect that it’s not good. Maybe people didn’t sign up for my course. I might feel like I’m a failure, and they go, Well, maybe I’m not meant to do this. But then if I compare where I am today, to where I was, you know, five years ago, I see Wow, I’ve really accomplished a lot. So that’s what happened back then it was noticing that progress, and that’s what allowed me to realise when they are just going to grow this Okay, this this is going Well, I’m going to hire some more other instructors. And that’s what I did. And I started to think about ideas to grow my business. And that’s when the ideas happened. When you pay attention to the little improvements to the step by step, you know, everything you accomplish every day, that’s when the awesome ideas come to you. And you’ll feel excited. And that feeling of excitement, you know, little butterflies in your stomach, that’s when you know, you got something, I think
David Ralph [21:26]
is brilliant. I think this is totally brilliant. And this is really buys into what Join Up Dots is all about that. It’s all little little steps and improvements and struggles and trials and tribulations. But as long as you work toward something more often than not, you can get that and I totally believe that. And I do think it’s one of the problems that entrepreneurs have, that we all look forward all the time. We’re always looking for the next big The next day, the next face and the next day, and we don’t spend enough time do we just looking over our shoulder thinking, wow, we’ve come a long way. This has really been an up skilling in these last few years, and what I can do now, God, I wouldn’t have been able to come anywhere near this at the very beginning. Give us yourselves a round of applause. But we don’t do that, do we?
Cloris Kylie [22:11]
Well, and it’s important that you keep record of what you have done in the past so you can compare and that’s what I do. I keep all my old videos and audio and even the blog posts that I wrote from New Years ago. And when I feel like you know, that confidence is kind of wavering a little bit, and I go back to those files, and I read those posts and I watch those videos and I go, Oh, my God, okay, I’m much better now.
David Ralph [22:39]
And then Dude, I embarrass you do they still make you cringe because I go back and listen to every single show of Join Up Dots, even the early ones, and I enjoy them, but I’m not happy with my performance because obviously you grow you progress you develop, but I still like the fact that they’re out there and anyone can go Over because it’s a big part I do believe this and I say so many times it’s a big part of success being out to share your failures and your your trials and your tribulations. And I love the fact that in podcasting land, and in blogs and whatever, if you want to delve back, it’s out there, isn’t it? You can see the improvement which is great for somebody new who’s thinking I wouldn’t mind doing was close is done. But she looks so perfect. She looks so professional. Go back a couple of years, and you can find your first workings. Totally different ballgame.
Cloris Kylie [23:32]
Oh, definitely. There’s something important though, like as we build our own, I guess our branding as our personal branding, is that we have to find that balance between authority and how vulnerable vulnerable you want to be because if you put yourself on a pedestal and say, Hey, you know, I’m the best thing in the world and look at good me and all the stuff I have. And, you know, of course people say that I don’t want to follow this personal I don’t want to listen to what they have. I have to say, I will never be able to do that, too. You have to be vulnerable and show that you’re you also fail, you have the same trouble. You wake up in the morning, you do the same thing like everybody else. But not so much that people will look at you and say, Yeah, I don’t think he or she can help me, you know, maybe she has another stuff. So as a matter of, of showing your true self, and also showing that you know, your stuff that you’re you have learned and you can now share that knowledge with other people.
David Ralph [24:31]
Yeah, it’s funny when it comes together for you, isn’t it? I’ve been talking a lot recently about saying, building a business isn’t as much about connecting with your customers is about connecting with yourself is about you finally buying into your skills, your talents, you know, when it comes to podcasting, I don’t think there’s anybody out there that can teach it as quickly and as professionally and as cheaply as I do. Absolutely. I would say that I’ve gone through so many of the top guys course. And they’re buying bits, bit of equipment and that bit of equipment and they’re doing this and they’re doing that you don’t need any of it. But it took me a long time to be able to actually say that but know when it comes to podcasting, I know me stuff and I’d be willing to share that with anyone. So you do have to connect with yourself, don’t you before you can start sort of really gaining your your value in the world.
Cloris Kylie [25:23]
Exactly. And and connecting with yourself involves realising that that you have a lot of value to share. And that’s why my motto is revealed your magnificence. I think many times we don’t even realise that we have a gift. Or we think that our gift is not really good enough. So we hide it, you know, it’s like baking this amazing chocolate chip cookies and you eat them in secret, you know, watching TV at night, and nobody ever figures out that you bake, you know, so it’s about believing and realising that you have a gift. And it’s okay to share it with some other people and yes, so People will not appreciate it and that’s fine. But most people will, you know, and and if, if you at first when you share your gifts, people don’t appreciate it, then try to connect with other people, people support you, I think, you know, I never hang out with somebody, I don’t want to be like, in the I love that too. Like, you know, sometimes when I’m in the presence of someone else, I said, you know what I want to be like this person? And if the answer is no, then I try to limit the time that I spend with that person.
David Ralph [26:30]
If we actually look at your business, I was looking at it as afternoon at your website, and there’s so many avenues. There’s so many different sort of income streams that you can sort of build into your life. But the core thing is, as you say, reveal your magnificent business coaching and training to boost your visibility and expand your client base. Now, you’ve done some remarkable stuff, and you’ve got on television and you’ve been on podcasts and you’ve been shown on web sight, like tiny Buddha and addicted to success with millions of followers. How did you do that? Because that’s not something that occurs overnight. Getting on Join Up Dots is not something that occurs overnight. Clovis
Cloris Kylie [27:14]
was such an honour to be here, even, you know, I think I had no idea how to do any of this stuff. I didn’t even know how to write a blog. The first time I wrote it, somebody told me you gotta go to blogger and you open an account is that okay? Let me go that and, you know, I had no idea what to say in my blog. I just read a book and wrote about the book I had read, read. I really knew nothing, right. But the thing it did, though, that helped me is that I sought advice from people who kind of came to me and that’s why it’s important that you stay positive and kind of keep an open mind and a broad focus because maybe you’ll connect with somebody who’s going to show you the direction that you need to go to and that person in my case Was retrace, he is a CEO of Hay House. And I remember listening to him speak and I was listening to him because I love personal development and you know Wayne Dyer, I consider him one of my mentors and read all his books and all this stuff. And he was saying, if you want to succeed, you have to have what he called a platform, a group of people who know you who trust you, I had no idea what that was. And then I realised that yes, the only way to share my message was to build some sort of community, some people who were who knew about me, and that’s when I said, Well, what do I need to do to get there? You know, because there’s something that happens, like, you look at all this stuff. What do you want to be at the end like your final destination? And it seems like it’s impossible, like okay, I will never be able to do that and then you don’t take action. But then if you say, Okay, I don’t have this, what are the components together? What I want is what is the first thing I need to do to get it done? So instead of saying I will never get there, use Okay, what do I need to do first and take that first step. And once that’s done, you will see you will meet somebody or see a piece of information that will lead you in the right direction. That’s how I started my podcast actually, magnificent time. I was browsing through LinkedIn. And I saw this lady and near one of my connections, she said, Oh, here I am on blogtalkradio. So I go, what is that? So I checked it out. It’s like, Oh, that sounds great. I can do this too. Yes. So is that about paying attention to what’s around you? And you’ll see the opportunities.
David Ralph [29:40]
Let’s play some words that summarise that perfectly. She is Oprah Winfrey,
Oprah Winfrey [29:45]
the way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move and then from that space, Make the next right move and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [30:17]
is so true. I listen to that almost every day. And what she’s saying her core is, ultimately you can only fail if you give up as long as you keep on going and gain the feedback back perceived and I’m doing that little quality business with my fingers. Perceived failure brings you then you are dead in the water. But if you just keep on moving forward, moving forward, moving forward, you’re gonna you’re gonna achieve something, it may not be the global, dominating dream that you have at the beginning. But more often than not actually it’s it’s a bigger dream than you have because you start in a kind of a small mindset. When you build the success around you and you start thinking Blimey, I think I’m onto here. I’m onto something here and I can really sort of go, is your dream a lot bigger now you’ve started. Did you have that small mindset at the beginning Clarice?
Cloris Kylie [31:10]
David, you know, all I wanted to do was at the beginning, yes, it was a small mindset. I just wanted to make money, right. In the meantime, when I found a job, that’s when I started my business as my business changed. And I started to serve different people that I saw the possibilities. And that’s, that’s when you start to see yourself making a bigger difference. And I think is is true, as you said, that, you know, you you kind of grow from, from that small mindset to a bigger one and a bigger one, just kind of built is like a big of snow, an avalanche, you have a little bit of snow that turns into this huge avalanche, and you can stop it because it’s the momentum that you build with your attitude with, again, just paying attention to things around you. And once you’re there, it cannot be stopped. You can Not be stopped, because you have enthusiasm and the internal force that will take you to wherever you want to be.
David Ralph [32:06]
And it is hugely exciting, isn’t it? You know, I turn on the microphone. And I don’t know if you feel the same way when you’re doing your show. But I feel the centre of the world. I feel like everything is coming to this point. And I’m channelling something bigger than myself, which I’ve never thought about. I never thought that in corporate work at all ever. I used to do training courses that used to go really well and I get in the flow and really enjoy it. But I’ve never felt absolutely integral to something big. Did you feel that
Cloris Kylie [32:39]
idea is true, I completely relate. And there’s a point at which that line between your your life and your work kind of stuff starts to fade. And that’s when you know you’re doing something that is comes from inspiration. When you know that you know you’re changing, just changing one life. I can remember the first time I got a positive feedback about My book, and this man who emailed me and said, thanks to you, I lost 80 pounds. And now I’m moving down to Florida to start a new life. It’s like, Wow, really, you know, I’m making that kind of a change in somebody else’s life, then it didn’t matter if I reached, you know, a million people, I had made a difference in the life of one person. And that’s just beautiful. And it’s something that is stuff to get in the corporate world. And I’m sure it’s possible, though, everything is possible. But yes, there’s nothing like that feeling.
David Ralph [33:31]
Are you past the sort of humble stage because I know at the beginning, when I used to have people contacting me, saying that they love the show, and they love this and that their life has changed because of listening to it. And thank you for doing the coaching. I used to kind of thing that they’re only saying that they’re only saying that because it’s a nice thing to say. And I think it was kind of ingrained from corporate land I never totally bought into when anyone said anything nice to me because I always totally bought into when they were saying things, not not is about you it was easier to believe the bad stuff than the good stuff. It took me a long time to work through that mentally to the point where I think Yeah, great, thank you. Brilliant. That’s exactly what I wanted when I started. Have you struggled to move through that mental lever? When somebody says something nice to you, you almost pushed it back.
Cloris Kylie [34:19]
You know, you’re right. Like sometimes I say, huh, she being honest. Yeah, probably. This I do have that self doubt. But, you know, most cases, though, people are just so kind that I get is this feeling of exhilaration and excitement. Like even this morning, I sent out a new campaign like a new email to my subscribers. And I immediately got this email back from one of them, Kristen, and she said, Well, chorus, thank you. You always share this great information. And just that it’s like wow, you know, she made my day. So I think you know, when you get a positive feedback Print somebody just just believe it. If it’s not true, well, whatever, who cares, right? As long as you feel that that’s empowering you to keep doing something good. And that’s all that matters.
David Ralph [35:10]
So what would be the sensible time frame for somebody new starting a business in your point of view? They, they’re starting from scratch. They haven’t got a website or haven’t got anything, they’ve just got an idea. And you hear that people say, you can do it in six months and six weeks and all that. I know what I’m gonna say afterwards, what would you say?
Cloris Kylie [35:33]
I would say you’ll make fast progress. But it will seem like it’s really slow. And you’ll, you’ll be like, okay, when is this going to happen and when am I going to get where I want to be? And, you know, I tell you, it takes a while, you know, as retraces says, I always remember when he said to, it takes 10 years to become an overnight success. So you see all those people out there, you know, like with, you know, these great platforms in You know, wonderful businesses and you go, Wow, how, why can I do that? Like, what’s wrong with me? Like, it’s not that it’s just like you have to build up to that moment. So I would say, if you’re starting out just with one idea, you should expect to be working on an idea for at least two years. Just so you get to that point that you know, the elements and all those pieces have come into place. And it’ll seem it might seem like more than that, or less, depending on what you’re paying attention to. But the matter is that it’s not about looking at it two years or three years. It’s about saying to yourself, you know, what’s next? What do I need to do next to, to get to where I want to be, and sometimes it’ll seem like it takes forever, but be patient. You know, as long as you stay focused, and you’re really driven by inspiration by passion, then you’ll keep going otherwise you’ll quit you know, if you’re doing something just for the money or, and so forth. You’ll be frustrated and leave and it’ll be just another like another bathroom. Pretty job. So I think it’s important to really be inspired by what you do because it is hard work is long hours. But you’ll love it, you’ll love the results that you get out of it.
David Ralph [37:11]
No, I agree with that. Totally, I would say three years if somebody said to me, I want to start something from scratch, I would say to them, expect three years, three years of working and doing other stuff, you know, wherever you have to deliver pizzas or teach math or whatever to sort of cover that shortfall in income, do it because those three years will pass really, really quickly. And you will have dark moments, but the light is always around you if you’re doing what you want to do. You know, this job here. I’m fortunate. It pays me very, very well. It’s going really, really well. But I do it for nothing. I really would. It’s so much part of me now, but I can’t imagine doing or not doing this show. And that touches in exactly what you’re saying isn’t it that allows you to bypass that frustration, when you’re only trying to go after the money
Cloris Kylie [38:05]
is true. And that’s the difference between motivation and inspiration. That when you’re motivated, yes, you you have this goal and you, you know, you kind of work hard for it. When you’re inspired. That idea takes you, it takes you and it moves you to where you want to be. So your passion is essential. And although it’s essential, though, if you’re passionate about something, you might take the wrong approach and is create something that is necessarily not needed in the market. But that’s fine because the core of who you are, if you really want to make a difference will remain the same. So just remember that just even though you have a passion, if you fail at the beginning, it’s fine. You can always find a way around that and be fueled by your passion.
David Ralph [38:50]
Let’s bring on a Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [38:52]
Here he is, of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear. looking backwards. 10 years later, again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [39:28]
So the path that you’ve been on, is it truly your path? Did you look at it and think, yeah, this is absolutely what I should be doing with my life.
Cloris Kylie [39:38]
It is my path. And you know why? Because I’m the only person who has created it. I believe that we create our own reality with the thoughts that we have every day and the actions that we take. So even though some horrible things have happened to me, it’s like oh, man, why Why me? I’m a nice person. Then I realised that hey, you know, I took action and I think Thought thoughts that took me to that place. So you are designing your own life. And whatever happened in the past doesn’t mean that it has to be repeated in the future. So you could choose a different thought right now and take a different action right now, that will take you in a different direction. And that will create a different life, if what it is right now is not working for you. So I think yes, the path I’m on is the path that I created. And I continue building that path every single day just by talking to you and building that path as well.
David Ralph [40:33]
And what would be your big dot i asked literally every single guest his story, but when you look back over all your life, leading to where you are now, what was the dot that really kicked it off?
Cloris Kylie [40:47]
The thought was the need to be independent, to overcome, like the one of the biggest personal challenges I’ve had in my life when everything was shaken. You know? At that point, it was because I was going, I had my business. And then I, I lost my marriage. It was like everything I believe that was kind of stable for the future was gone. And going through that personal challenge, that kind of shook me up and said, you know, the only person who can decide what happens next is me. And that was a big, big challenge that that resulted in big, big growth. So yes, I would say the bigger the challenge, the bigger the growth, and that was my big that is my life. And I am here today just because of that.
David Ralph [41:38]
So do you think you wouldn’t be the same person today? If you were still in that marriage?
Cloris Kylie [41:44]
I wouldn’t be at all. I wouldn’t be talking to you. I think I would have I would have done something different or probably maybe gone back to corporate because that’s what you know, my my husband at the time wanted. He wanted more stability and so forth. So I was thinking about it. Uh, well, maybe I should just go back to my corporate world I open. And that thought actually made me feel dead inside. I remember that. So. So yes, I would say big, big challenges. Those are tough, but they’ll make you grow the most.
David Ralph [42:17]
I couldn’t go back into a job now. And no, I’m totally unemployable. There’s no way that I could be at my desk when somebody tells me and not be able to go off and do what I want. And there are restrictions. We’re not making it, you know, it’s not plain sailing all the time. But I couldn’t have someone telling me what to do. I really couldn’t, could you?
Cloris Kylie [42:39]
I couldn’t, I couldn’t, you know, it’s just get to a point that, that you love being in control of your life. I mean, nobody wants to be put in a cage. And so when we feel that we don’t have that freedom, then then we, as I said, you know, you feel that inside. At the same time though. If you’re in a situation in which you have to In a corporate job just so you can secure your, your, your finances, while you make your dreams come true, it doesn’t mean that you have to feel like you, you know, there you have a terrible life and just be in a bad mood because then that will block your ability to see opportunities. So as a matter of saying, you know, I’m here now, I’m going to do my best job, I’m going to see who I can connect with here this job, because maybe that person will lead me where I want to be. So I would say, life is this moment, and how you feel about it. So how is your life going right now? If you don’t like it, and you got to change that. And that starts with with your thoughts in that’s why David, I’m a firm believer that that we definitely create our own reality.
David Ralph [43:47]
So just before we send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic, because we’re at the end of the show, now it’s gone really, really quickly. This one, where is the Where are the dots leading in your life? Have you got bigger and bigger plans? What What’s happening? In the life of cloris,
Cloris Kylie [44:03]
what I see is making me making a bigger impact. And the lives of those around me and helping other entrepreneurs get to where I am and to where I want to be. So there’s nothing that produces more satisfaction than seeing somebody who had an idea who’s getting into that place where they feel that yes, they can make a great living doing what they love. So I want to expand my impact and help more people. And that’s all I want. I just want to make a difference. And, you know, I know that things will not go according to plan in the future. And that’s all right. And I know I will feel impatient as I try to achieve my goals. And that’s all right. Because, you know, if I’m driven by passion and driven by love for what I do, and it’s exciting, though, is it’s an exciting time.
David Ralph [44:53]
Is is in it’s gonna get so much better for you, I can actually feel that well. This is the end of the show. And this is the We call it a sermon on the mic. When we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Clovis, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune and when it fades you up, this is the Sermon on the mind.
Unknown Speaker [45:22]
We go with the best bit of the show.
Unknown Speaker [45:29]
My man
Cloris Kylie [45:40]
alright, so well cloris, I’m going to tell you that you are right out of college, and you don’t know what to do. And I would say you want to do what other people want you to do. But there’s no need to do that. You know, the need to please everybody is just not is not real. And you cannot make everybody like you is impossible. So you might as well do something so you like yourself instead. So instead of trying to do what everybody expects you to do, why don’t you for a change to something that you like, Did you like to do for yourself. Also, stop hanging out with people that you don’t like, just because you feel bad that you don’t want them to feel rejected, or because you want to be polite. Instead, just hang out with people you would want to be like, and those people might not be right next to where you are, but it’s your job to find those people. And the people who are not serving you, the people who make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe those are the people you don’t want to spend that much time with. Start building relationships from the start. Because the world is about who you know. It’s about the relationships you have in you are basically a product of the people you hang out with. So being with other people who criticise you who are complaining all the time, is not going to serve you. So it’s just time to say goodbye to them, you know, send, send them a silent blessing. And then find the people, your tribe, who you want to be like, into who you want to be with. Also, when you interact with people, or some people will, will reject you and hurt you. But that is just part of life. So it’s a matter of saying, okay, that didn’t serve me and moving on to the next chapter. And when things seem that they are terrible, and is the end of the world, then realise that there’s something much better awaiting for you just a matter of, you know, dry your tears, and get up and shake up the dust because you fail, and just saying, okay, what’s next? What can I do next to have a good life and also Remember that you don’t know it all, even though you feel that you do, then you don’t know at all. And it’s a matter of every day learning a little bit more, and seeking the advice of people who, who actually know more than you, believe it or not. And when you find yourself saying, Yeah, Yeah, I know, I know, I know. That’s a sign that you don’t know. So just listen to what people have to say people who have been there, find a mentor, find somebody who’s done it, who has succeeded doing what you want to do, and then listen to them. Because even though you feel that you have a better way, people who are there, they have experienced all the bad stuff. So now it’s your turn to use what they know. And at the same time know that yes, you’ll make mistakes. Because sometimes the only person who can teach you a lesson is yourself. And you’ll learn that lesson by failing and by realising what you don’t like. Also, when something happens that you don’t like order that is painful. Just remember, it’s just a it’s like you’re testing different things in life and you go out and you try different desserts or have different dishes or salad bar. And it’s now you know, you don’t like you try the pickled beets you don’t like you had a friend who betrayed you. Now you know what you don’t like. And now you can seek what you like. And above all, above all, remember that you have a gift. And that gift is there. It’s just a matter of you knowing how to share it, to find your great idea. And to always reveal your magnificence.
David Ralph [49:38]
Flawless, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Cloris Kylie [49:43]
They can go to my website David is chorus kiley.com that CLR is ky lie calm and they’ll see all my resources and free goodies for for you to get started and you know some inspiration to to keep you going And to keep that passion alive.
David Ralph [50:02]
We’ll have over links in the show notes below this. Thank you so much for spending time with us today, joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more adults to join up because I do believe by joining up the dots and connecting our paths is the best way to build our futures. Chris Kylie, thank you so much.
Cloris Kylie [50:19]
Thank you David.
David Ralph [50:22]
Clovis Kylee. So she got pushed out basically by some horrible managers, absolutely horrible managers. I wanted to trust them at all. But she made it up as she went along. You know, she was pushed out in a position but she wouldn’t have done but it’s time turned to help good and the reason it’s turned out good is because she’s taken consistent action. She’s worked towards something. Even if at the beginning she didn’t really have a clue what she wanted to do. Little by little, you get there faster. Join Up Dots way, isn’t it. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being part of everything. Thank you so much for sharing this show with your friends. If you could spend a moment on To leave a rating or review on iTunes, I don’t ask for that very often at all, but it really is absolute Rocket Power. I can’t ask for more from you. So if you could do that, that’d be marvellous. But at the end of the day, if you can come back to the next show, even better, thanks very much Cheers. David doesn’t want
Outro [51:17]
you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.