Michael Glover Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Michael Glover
Michael Glover is our guest today on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
He is a man who as soon as he connected with me I thought “I need to have him on the show”
First he is British, and you can’t fail to love a bit of British can you?
Secondly his email subject was simply “An Entrepreneur Who Lost His Mind”
You can’t fail to love a bit of Insane British can you?
As he says “I’ve spent most of my life feeling sort of… broken. Especially in the brain department.
As a teenager and young adult, I was secretly crippled with social anxiety. Going into any social situation involving anyone I wasn’t super close to would, to put it technically, cause an internal shit storm. At one point I couldn’t even leave the house without getting embarrassing sweat stains under the arms, even in the dead of winter.
After managing to bury all this deep inside me (cos that’s what a ‘real man’ does), I tried to somewhat get on with a normal adult life. I went to university, got a job, quit, got qualified as a personal trainer and embarked on a career in health and fitness that ended up with me owning my own studio.
Then I hit a brick wall.
How The Dots Joined Up For Mike
Despite finally having a growing business that I’d worked my balls off for, I was miserable, overworked and monumentally lonely. In fact, I was depressed.
So I gave up on what I thought was my dream business. I sold the equipment, referred all my lovely clients to other trainers and even sold my car and many other possessions.
And I embarked on a journey to discover what the hell was going on in my head and heart that was preventing me from being that seemingly elusive combination of happy and successful.
And when you listen to his podcast “The Enlightened Entrepreneurial Badasses” Podcast” episode one you can see that this is a guy who realises that you start with whats in your heart.
And then program your brain to be able to achieve it.
A quick two step, that is ready to be taken, is so simple, but so complicated at the same time.
So when you hear this guy talk about the hustle he has taken to get his own business. The long hours it took. Was he always on a path to losing his mind, or could he have done something so different?
And is he truly happy where he is, or is he still on the path to losing his mind, just in a different setting?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr Michael Glover
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Michael Glover such as:
He shares the biggest fear he has in this world of leaving no trace on this planet, and what he is planning to do to resolve this.
Why he feels that the world of FB is such a double edged sword as it is a great insight into what is possible, but can really hold us back from going for it.
How he knew within two weeks of being a fitness coach, that he didn’t like his career, but how he still went through it as he had invested time and money
How he looks back and can now see that he was never truly at risk of losing everything even though he spent nights worrying that it was all going the wrong way.
How To Connect With Michael Glover
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Full Transcription Of Michael Glover Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:35]
Yes, hello, bear you sexy listeners of Join Up Dots out are you doing? Are you taking any of this advice and changing into a life altering income? Are you taking advice and changing into a platform that can drive you on to great things? Well, I hope you are. Because that’s really what we’re here for. And it’s not just for us to have these conversations and enjoy ourselves, although that’s a lot of it is to give you the blueprint for success and give you the chance have information. But you’re only going to get when two people who’ve been through that journey actually connect and share. And today’s guest is a man who has connected with us and I’ll be honest, as soon as he connected with us, I thought I need to have him on the show. Now. First he’s British, and you can’t fail to love a bit of British Kenya. Then secondly, his email subject was simply an entrepreneur who lost his mind and yet can’t fail to love a bit of insane British Kenya. Even better. As he says, I’ve spent most of my life feeling sought or broken, especially in the brain department as a teenager and young adult I was secretly crippled with social anxiety going into any social situation involving anyone I wasn’t super close to wood, to put it technically cause an internal shitstorm at one point I couldn’t even leave the house without getting embarrassing sweat stains under the arms even in the dead of winter now after managing to bury all this deep inside me because that’s what a real man does. He says in brackets. I tried to somewhat get on with the normal adult life I went to university got a job quit got cut off. qualified as a personal trainer, and embarked on a career in health and fitness that ended up with me owning my own studio but I hit a brick wall. Despite finally having a growing business I’d worked my balls off for I was miserable, overworked and monumentally lonely. In fact, I was depressed. So I gave up on what I thought was my dream business. I sold the equipment, referred all my lovely clients to other trainers and even sold my car and many other possessions. And I embarked on the journey to discover what the hell was going on in my head and heart that was preventing me from being that seemingly elusive combination of happy and successful. And when you listen to these podcasts, the enlightened entrepreneurial badasses podcast, Episode One, go right back to the very beginning, you can see that this is a guy who realises that you start with what’s in your heart and been programming your brain to be able to achieve it. A quick two step say say that is ready to be taken is so simple, but also so complicated at the same time. And when you hear this guy talk about the hustle he’s taken to get his own business, the long hours it took. Was he always on a path of losing his mind? Or could he have done something so different? And is he truly happy where he is now? Or is he still on the path to losing his mind? just in a different setting? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Michael Glover. Good morning to you, Michael. How are you sir?
Michael Glover [3:23]
I am very well. David, thank you so much for having me on. How are you?
David Ralph [3:27]
I’m always good. Michael. I’m always good. I’m a host of a top ranked podcast. I’m British. And I’m probably insane. And I think that is a lethal combination. Three Parts that come together to create something unique. What do you think?
Michael Glover [3:41]
Yeah, we definitely have a connection on there British and insane. Although I am in America at the moment, so are you possible? Yeah. I’m I spent the past sort of six out of the last eight months in America as well. My girlfriend’s from just outside Washington, DC so possibly might lose. My accent soon but I don’t know still still insane them
David Ralph [4:04]
whereabouts outside Washington DC I know that area quite well. Arlington arlington virginia oh so it’s not a million miles out of Washington it’s a stone’s throw
Michael Glover [4:14]
yes literally 20 minutes on the metro
20 minute car drive yeah just literally just right outside and the in the suburbs of DC if you will,
David Ralph [4:23]
by the cemetery and do you do you ever wander through and think to yourself these are people that have left their mark on life or is that too deep to go into on Join Up Dots?
Michael Glover [4:33]
No, it’s we did go to the cemetery. It was really interesting to see like the JFK grave and the Kennedy family’s grave and stuff foreigners think wow, this is the son kind of there’s real greatness here really. So it was it was really sobering and obviously sad and stuff but it was it was interesting. It was interesting.
David Ralph [4:56]
And did you look at it and think to yourself, these guys that the fact that You can quote them means that they’ve left a legacy absorbs. Does it frighten you? And it does me but I could come and go and not be remembered that that it’s our duty to leave some kind of legacy does that bother you? Or once again, is it just me going inside?
Michael Glover [5:17]
No, I was thinking about this and, and I think I was talking about this on one of my podcasts or in a Facebook post or something. Recently, I was talking about my biggest fear. And my biggest fear is actually a kind of metaphor that kind of covers all the rest of the fears that kind of come with everyday life that is that my life won’t mean anything that I’ll kind of leave this world and whatever happens beyond it will be for nothing and won’t be remembered and that and that what everything that I do will be meaningless essentially. And that’s my biggest fear, I suppose. So yeah, it’s it’s it’s definitely something that I think about as well.
David Ralph [6:01]
I saw a film once and I just become a Farber at this stage. And it was with Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman. And if anybody wants a blurb, I literally was on a life control. I just could not control myself during this film. And it’s called my life. And it’s a guy who he really wants to become a farmer, he really wants to invent finds out that his wife is pregnant at the same time that he is going to die from cancer. And he’s got a six months to sort of try to find a cure, and he whizzes around. And all the time. He’s recording himself, and he’s recording himself so that his newborn child would know what his dad’s like. And I was talking to my wife the other day, and I was saying, You imagine, and I don’t know why we’re saying this. I was saying, Do you imagine you know, I died tomorrow. Would you allow my kids to listen to the podcast because my kids never listen to this show at all interested in other stuff? And I said, Oh, would it be too depressing, but you know, dad’s voice is floating around. And she said no, she said I would have to keep Keep it going, because what else have you left your mark with? And I thought it’s a sad state of affairs that literally 95% or even more of the planet will come and go. Now, I wasn’t expecting to get so depressing in the first 10 minutes of the show, sir. But it’s, it’s depressing. It’s depressing, isn’t it? That way, we’re not going to leave our mark, we’re gonna come and go and just leave buttered marks on the sofa of life.
Michael Glover [7:23]
Yeah, I think nowadays, it’s so much easier to leave something for your. And this is again, something that was talking about recently as well, something to it’s so much easier to leave bits of content and bits of yourself. Now that we have the internet, we have podcasts, we have blogs, and we have article like, years ago, you would have had to, to get something published, you would have had to, you know, go and get a job for a newspaper or you would have had to get a book published or, you know, which in like, decades ago was incredibly difficult and a long process. So yeah, I think using the internet and Just even stuff like Facebook posts you know just is that really showing what who you are in that Facebook This is an opportunity to just kind of leave this thread of, of dots. Hey, there we go to show your show your kids and everyone in the in the future like who you actually were, what you wanted to say with your life and, and and to actually be someone in an easier way.
David Ralph [8:26]
So yeah, I’m gonna share something that was in a post this is this is like we’re connecting the dots of our life over the last few weeks this is this is astonishing, but I I just recorded an episode a solo show this morning that I put out and so it would have gone live by now. And it was just called I failed. And the premise of it was but so many people look at Facebook and go oh that person, Michael Gerber. He’s in Arlington Cemetery, amazing life and my life is rubbish. I’m just going to work because the world of Facebook and social media as seen To be like, the most perfect version of people’s lives, there’s very few times that you see something and you go, Oh, that’s real, that’s honest, you know, and then you find that some multimillionaire who had everything then sort of overdoses because for some reason, you know, it wasn’t enough for them. And did you see that in you know, is out part of the problem is that part of the problem that as you were building your business, you felt unfulfilled because you can’t accept that what you’ve got is right for you when you’re looking around and it just seems like it’s magical unicorn land but everybody else
Michael Glover [9:33]
without a shadow of a doubt. That was a huge, huge problem for me was kind of looking at Facebook and looking at kind of friends on Facebook and going like, oh, they’ve got more money than me or they’re doing better than me and they’ve got a nicer house than me and then go and even kind of bigger and look in like looking at like the talking heads on on YouTube and Facebook and stuff who kind of tell you what to do in business and things like that. And obviously, they come out with some amazing content, but it’s like thinking I’m never gonna get there. There’s so much further ahead than me. What’s the point in doing this I’m so far behind. And it’s just this current, this constant kind of comparison thing where you just continually just keep comparing yourself playing this game of trying to get to the get to the front of the queue. And then when you get to the front of the queue, you’re trying to stay at the front of the queue. And it’s just a continual battle with what you think is everyone else but is what is it actually with yourself? So yeah, it’s, it’s definitely this, this whole sort of bar this kind of thing of comparing myself all the time and just looking at myself and going, I’m not good enough everyone else is because I’m seeing that their kind of highlight reel on Facebook, and therefore there’s no point in me trying anymore.
David Ralph [10:49]
You know, the thing to do, though, Michael, don’t look at Facebook. I’m a bit egocentric on this, but I do go on Facebook because it’s a great way to connect with people. But I only read a post. If I mentioned In it isn’t a bad thing to say my wife scrolls up and down it and she goes, at least there’s a cat playing the piano and I go, Well, how have you found that and why? Oh, it’s just on my, my, I don’t know, newish line or whatever it’s called, unless it’s on tanked in, I don’t bother looking at anything and I’m fine. But I’ve got a bubble of. I’m the world’s biggest podcast, which I know I’m not because I can go over to YouTube and I can look around. But I don’t have anything to do with comparisons. I just enjoy the process of growing my show where it is and where it’s going. And I never look at anyone and think, oh, I’ve done 1000 shows I never look at anyone and go, Oh 2 million downloads 12 billion downloads all that just living within your your bubble of positivity, because within the sort of the joy of comparison is comparing where you’ve come not where you want to be. Would you say?
Michael Glover [11:51]
Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. I heard one of the best pieces of advice that I’ve had is that you don’t need to be more than you are you just need to be That you are, yeah, and just showing up 110% as you in any way at any given moment just to fully show up and not to hold anything back because you feel like you need to be more than who you are. So just fully 100% showing up as you as big and as bigger way as you can. That’s all you can do. So, yeah, and something that I’ve actually done is actually like unfollowed people on Facebook and kind of tried to condense my Facebook as much as possible, because I just kind of I got to this point where I was looking at my feed and it was just, it was just a barrage of like, what my brain was telling me was that a barrage of me not being good enough, a barrage of everyone else being so much better than the barrage of everyone else doing so much better than me. And so I just kind of said, right, okay, this, this can’t continue. I can’t just keep spending hours of my day with the combination of looking at other people’s stuff, wasting time and then having that the reaction of that being me for And like crap, afterwards anyway, so
David Ralph [13:02]
yeah, but but when you felt like crap going back in time when you built this business for yourself, you thought it was rocking and rolling, and then you kind of thought it was it’s the wrong business. Was it always gonna be the wrong business? Was it the fact that you was comparing other people? Or was it just the fact that you went into something that you thought was going to pay money you’re gonna like, but ultimately you didn’t know you’re, you’re kind of essence because it all comes down to that thing that you love doing. You’re naturally in the flow with and doesn’t feel work. Was it the kind of wrong work for you?
Michael Glover [13:35]
Yeah, it was, it was definitely the wrong work for me. And I kind of knew it. Like got my first few weeks as a personal trainer, where I was working in someone else’s gym. I kind of got this feeling of I don’t actually like this. I don’t actually enjoy doing this.
David Ralph [13:52]
And I just stopped doing that. That was within the first couple of weeks. You fought that?
Michael Glover [13:57]
Yes, yeah. And I had this thing in the back of my head just like I don’t, I don’t actually enjoy doing this. I don’t I, this is and I kind of started to dread going to work a little bit. And I thought, Well, you know what, I’ve spent a lot of money on my education to get into this position. I suppose I better keep doing it. Because otherwise I would have wasted What was I think 1500 pounds on a personal trainer diploma. I would have wasted that if I quit now I can’t quit now in the first two weeks or three weeks or whatever, what will people think of me and so I just kind of carried on I hated the, the hours that I had to do which was, you know, personal trainers you genuinely train people before they go to work or after they go to work. So you kind of have this long day, every day of five six in the morning starts up until eight 910 o’clock in the In the evening finishes, and I hate that I really dislike that I loved working with the people that I worked with, but the hours I really didn’t like, and just the kind of process of having to do this whole exercise thing I didn’t particularly enjoy standing in the gym with people over and over and over and over again every day. And essentially watching them exercise. Now I know a lot of personal trainers, if they’re listening will think will say I do more than watch people exercise. And that’s cool. You’re obviously awesome at your job. I really didn’t have the you don’t mean
David Ralph [15:40]
you don’t mean you’re thinking you buggers. I don’t know how you managed to do it.
Michael Glover [15:45]
Yeah, well, that’s not his voice. I thought How the hell do you do it? How do you how do you how do you do that over and over again. And let’s be
David Ralph [15:51]
honest, no one listens to this show. Michael, you can be as honest as you like on here.
Michael Glover [15:56]
Yeah, and I just thought how do you do this? It’s just It’s like just watching someone exercise and different people have different things doing it. And that’s, that’s awesome. But for me, it wasn’t right. And I knew that yet. I carried on going. And I thought, I looked at the other people on Facebook, he was saying, you’ve got to hustle, you’re there, you’ve got to work harder you’ve got to work is you’ve got to work your socks off, you got to keep going. And I thought, okay, that’s, that’s what I’ll do then. And I’ll keep going on this path, even though I enjoy it. And hopefully one day, I will, I don’t know, happiness will come out of somewhere. And it was a real decision or like a series of kind of actions every day that kind of lacked logic yet, I just thought somewhere along the line, I’ll be happy somewhere on the line, I’ll be able to charge a lot more money and have fewer clients and then it will all be okay. And obviously, that’s not how it works. Really.
David Ralph [16:54]
It fence fence. Well, I don’t know if it’s fantastic or fascinating or what the word is, but fact that you benchmark 1500 quid, or I can’t afford to waste bat, where if you’re from Britain, and you are a man so I take both of those. You probably spend more times in pubs or at some time of your life than ever. And so we’ve all wasted 1500 quid just pulling it down a throat you know, but when you look at it go Yeah, absolutely. I’m probably go, Oh no, no 1500 quid. I’m happy to be well, I’m happy to be unhappy for the rest of my life because I’ve wasted 1500 quid. I’ve wasted 1500 quid on women on beer on all the days that were rubbish on, on everything. It seems strange that we are willing to accept and happiness just because we’re not willing to take the unusual path. And that’s what you’ve done now, isn’t it? The fact that you basically gave it all away and you didn’t just give it away? You gave everything away? What was that people have that time going, Michael Michael. Just Just go to a spa for the weekend and just check out Was there anyone trying to hold you back to their life of unhappiness?
Michael Glover [18:04]
Yeah, I mean, obviously, clients at the time because I, at the time, I actually I, I loved the client work but by this time I had grown the business to a point where I have my own studio, I have my own gym. And so that came with a whole new bunch of responsibilities. No longer was I just trading clients. I had the responsibilities of marketing, the business of networking of doing all this stuff like the admin the even like stuff, like the cleaning and things like that. And keeping the place tidy, you know, all these little things that kind of add up. And I just had this position where I was actually enjoying working with clients because I was coaching or I was coaching people more than training I was helping I was actually talking to them and and coaching them as opposed to just kind of giving them an exercise programme and training them
Unknown Speaker [18:58]
Michael Glover [19:00]
I just there was so the clients were telling me oh no stay we want you to stay we love you and stuff like that and, and which was obviously really nice but there was so because of all the other stuff that I had to do there was so few people in my life in terms of friends and a social circle and anything like that the the only people I really needed to tell and kind of, I suppose break the news to were my parents. And that was a really I procrastinated on that for probably weeks, I think it was from actually telling them I actually started the ball rolling on X ray kind of exit strategy, if you will, before I told them and then eventually I thought, you know what, I need to tell them at some point, otherwise, they’re gonna be like, why are you not going to work anymore?
David Ralph [19:51]
Right, right million dollar question here. Right? Okay. This is a question that comes time and time again through Join Up Dots. We’re talking to somebody who The time of making this decision is an adult. Yeah, you’ve been going out to work you’ve been drinking, or smoking, sleeping with people, wherever adults do you, there’s a good chance that you have been involved in it. Why is it so important man that we all want to get the permission of our parents? Because it’s just, it seems bizarre to me, but I’ve done the same thing. I remember quitting my banking career when I was 30. And thinking to myself, I’ve got to tell Mom, I’ve got to tell mum, I wasn’t even living at home. I had my own house. I was I was away, but I still felt misconduct, parental pressure of telling them and to be honest, my dad just went, Oh, just do what you need to do. And my mum was like, Oh, you’ve ruined your life. NatWest bank is the way forward. That’s that’s what you should be for them. Seola sorry, mom. I’m a podcaster now and I’ve moved on. I’ve moved on. I’m sharing it with your mom that I’m now doing this. Why is it important? Do you think that we do have this kind of fear of telling our parents that, hey, we want to be happy Because ultimately, that’s what parents want first, isn’t it?
Michael Glover [21:00]
Yeah, I mean, it’s it’s weird because I just thought,
you know what I, I really don’t want to tell them because I don’t want them to not be proud of me because I think it was more me feeling like a failure. And it was more what I felt like inside. I didn’t want to communicate to them and give them an opportunity to judge me in a way that I was judging myself. I didn’t want them to think I was a failure. I didn’t want them to think badly of me. I didn’t want them to go, Oh, he’s the son that is a fuckup or whatever. And, and I didn’t and it was just this worry this this complete worry of them judging me in a way that was he’s a failure. And that was how I was feeling inside. So I think that was why I didn’t want to tell them and then they wanted to tell me to kind of Play the safe route because they obviously just they, they want us to be safe. I think, first of all, and if you Yes, if you chase your dreams and go happy, then parents want us to want want us to be happy. But they also want us to be safe first and foremost. And I think that’s just the natural thing of a parent.
David Ralph [22:18]
Well, let’s play some words now. And let’s delve back into that because I think this is fascinating. And I think it really does hold so many of us back from going for that that risky route, which ultimately isn’t risky at all. It’s the route that we’re in control of, is Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [22:34]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you Love.
David Ralph [23:01]
It’s such an amazing statement to me because it really does tie up with the last 10 minutes of our conversation. But But dad had a chance of doing something but didn’t. And the kids kind of learned more from the fact that he didn’t van van he did. It would make me wonder what it must be like to have a Farber not not on this sort of the a level. It’s on somebody like Paul McCartney, for example, that must be a hell of a job to follow Paul McCartney into anything and how those kids have done it and created their own environment must be really hard. But somebody who’s just been successful in their own regard, how difficult it is to actually been say to them, actually, I don’t want to follow your path. I want to do my own thing. Now. I would love my kids to end up living in cardboard boxes, if it means that they were having some kind of experience of life. Because I know for so many years, I went from my home onto the train up to London, went to the office came out at five o’clock found the nearest pub had a few Drinks came home did it again, that isn’t life that’s existing. So I would be happy for my kids to say, I’m in my box. And I’m just closing the lid down on me and I am. You know, I’m safe because I think we’re only here once always that simplistic. I’m only being sort of naive in that, Michael.
Michael Glover [24:18]
No, I think it’s, there’s no right or wrong way to look at it. But that’s obviously a way of looking at it from someone with the experience of knowing that you can still be okay if you are in that box. And that’s something that you know, because I’ve had various points of you worry about money and worrying about Can I can I kind of keep a roof over my head, can I do this? Can I do that? What will happen if this happens? And if I look back, there’s never really been a point where it’s been really at risk. I’ve never really been at risk of being homeless or written. I’ve never really been at risk of not being able to afford to eat and Do these kind of basic things. So there’s always the people who will say, Oh, you know, there’s all this anxiety going on around how we What if you can’t eat what if you can’t spare have NFL have anywhere to sleep and it’s just
Unknown Speaker [25:17]
Michael Glover [25:19]
rarely obviously the people that that that happens to but that very rarely actually happens. So I think that comes from someone who has had the experience of of losing that or quitting that job and chasing after his dreams.
David Ralph [25:34]
what you’re talking about, you’re talking about paper tigers. I don’t know if you’ve heard this phrase. But yeah, if you put a paper tiger in front of us, we’re just looking at it. It doesn’t matter. You put a real Tiger in front of us. Yeah, you’re allowed to be scared you can run around. And that’s the thing, isn’t it? Most things that we have in our head and this week. I’ve had I’ve had a terrible week where things outside my control have been landed on me and these days. wasn’t anything to do with Join Up Dots or any of the platforms that I operate. It’s been more to do with kind of my, my extended family. And I have been, I’ve been stressed as of I can remember, I’ve been stressed for years. And now I’m kind of past it. I’m now thinking, I’m not actually sure I was stressed. And I think the thing is, it’s just the uncertainty. It’s the middle of the night pillow talk when you’re laying there and your brains got the devil and Angel on the shoulder and the devil is going, ah, screw it. It doesn’t matter when the angels go, No, no, there must be a way that you can solve it. Now, I heard something the other day and the Dalai Lama said this. And this is one of those things that you kind of agree with. And then on the other heart side, you want to find the Dalai Lama and punch him in the face for being simply and I don’t know, who would win in a daylight fight. But I can I’ve got a chance. I reckon that’s one person that I could possibly bat and the five year old girl that lives next door to me, I probably could be But the rest of them, I’m not. I’m not gonna go that way. I’m a lover, not a fighter, Michael. And that sounds like the game is mine. Now, in Dalai Lama speak, he said these words he said, if it’s something that you can’t, you can do something about, and it just means taking action, then there’s no reason to worry. You can just deal with it. And if it’s something but no matter what you do, you can’t do anything about as well. But you don’t have to worry. You just let it happen. Now, is that the kind of thing that you go right? I’m behind you, David. You hold him I kick him and get him on the ground or would you kind of go now actually, I think I’m at that point now but I’m, I’m kind of there and I can see what he’s saying.
Michael Glover [27:42]
No, I’m, I can definitely see what what he’s saying. But I can also relate to the thing of one into
wanting to hold him down and taxiing him.
There’s various points in my life. I’ve just thought, you know, that’s all well and good. That’s all great for you. sat there, and you kind of Dalai Lama perch with kind of all this Buddhism behind you and stuff, but what about me in the real life? But it’s, I’ve definitely got to a point where it’s just like, there’s so many things that we worry about or that we fear, or that we just we, that we create in our minds that are just that they’re creations of our minds, and they just they’re perceived, they are perceived threats to our life, they’re perceived fears. And it’s a good thing to have, because of its how we’ve evolved. We’ve evolved with this thing of fear. So I would say we need to acknowledge it. First. I that’s what I do is that if something shows up, as some kind of fear shows up, or something shows up in my head and says, Oh, don’t do that. That’s dangerous, or that’s that this might happen. If you do that. Then I acknowledge it First of all, and you say, You know what? Cool, that’s that. That’s fine. That’s coming up. That’s something that has helped the species Man to get to where we are today. Otherwise, we would have just taken the most dangerous path while coming home from hunting and getting eat gotten eaten by a tiger. So it’s really, it’s really cool that this is in our heads. But you know what, let’s look at this logically, that’s not actually going to happen. This is just something that isn’t true. I think that is the most powerful question that we can ask ourselves with anything is, Is this true?
David Ralph [29:27]
And it’s never true, though, is it? This is the thing because you can read, you can rewrite your own story. You know, it’s almost like one of those books when you’re a kid, but you turn the page and it says, choose option A, or choose option B. And every time you do it, you can go a different way, because I do think that every issue that I’ve had in my life and certainly Join Up Dots, Join Up Dots, the show is going amazingly well. But I’m really, really pleased with it. And, yes, I want it to be bigger and bigger and bigger and take over every single download off of every other podcaster out there. So it’s just a A big fat Join Up Dots in iTunes land and it swallowed everything else other than yours. I will throw some crumbs your way, sir, because I like you. But I want to talk to him in the Dalai
Michael Glover [30:11]
David Ralph [30:12]
Absolutely. And that’s a really weird gay fantasy I had when I said that. I don’t, I thought, should I say that? No, but I’ve said it anyway. So it’s out there. I do apologise, Mr. alarma. But you’re gay fantasy Now. Now. Now, I can’t even remember what was talking about? Oh, yes. Now, leave it in your own story. Now, every decision that I’ve had, or I’ve got to crunch time when I thought I really don’t know this isn’t gonna work. That’s gonna work. I’ve moved past it. No one thing has stopped me in my tracks. And from the moment I was born, not one thing has stopped me in my tracks. However, I have done everything that I’ve wanted to do. Now there’s some things that I might have tried and realised Actually, I don’t like this, or there might be some things that logically I look at it and think, right, I’m never going to be a Formula One driver. So I go a different route. So there’s all different sort of decisions you can make. But there’s not one obstacle in our way that is insurmountable. That is my belief. And I have got the Dalai Lama standing by the side of me, massaging my shoulders, and he’s nodding at the same time. He believes that to be true, too. Has there been anything in your life that you’ve wanted to get past Michael, that you haven’t been able to?
Michael Glover [31:28]
know? I mean, I think it’s the same with with everyone that it’s only an obstacle, if you believe it to be an obstacle. It’s only immovable if you believe it to be immovable. And so it goes back to the the whole thing about nothing’s true. It’s only true if you believe it to be true. We are we all have our own versions of the truth. You know, there’s there’s people that have gone from, from literally like broken homes, where you would say, how have they gone from that to Being millionaires, billionaires and for many people in that situation they would they would have said that’s not possible. That is not a viable truth going forwards. So I would say that it that you only need to you only believe it to be true. It’s only true if you believe it to be true.
David Ralph [32:24]
Can you handle the truth? Can you I don’t think you can handle the truth that was good when it
Michael Glover [32:32]
was that accurate? Yes, it was I was I was stunned into I was looking for like for an Oscar to give you. You don’t have to
David Ralph [32:40]
you don’t have to. I know in my heart that it was good. I don’t need a world. Now. Going back to sort of comparisons now, you know, in the award ceremony and I always think this VAT in an hour. I’m gonna get a lot of complaints from Oscar winners, and they’re gonna they’re gonna because they all listen to this show Leonardo. I do apologise what I’m going to say But I would always love to win an Oscar. And when I stand up there, you know, they always stand up and go, Oh, you know, no, you’re bluffing and all that kind of stuff. I would like to stand up there and go. I was pretending I was somebody else. End of story. And that would be my my sort of comparison. I would say, it’s not an art form. I’m just very good at pretending I’m somebody else. And do you think that that’s what we should do? We should just basically pretend were somebody else to move through these obstacles. Do you think, you know, can we create our own internal Oscar ceremony by giving ourselves awards for acting when? When things are difficult so that we can just breeze through things? What do you mean?
Michael Glover [33:42]
I don’t think it’s necessarily pretending to be someone else. I think it’s discovering who you really are, like deep within and just removing all these kind of BS layers that we tend to surround this thing with who we really are. We tend to put masks on we tend to build walls around us. And, and stop people from getting into the people who we really are. And that is where we really find that combination of happiness and success that we alluded to at the start of the start of the interview. It’s when you are actually allowed to be yourself, be who you really are, and not have to pretend and go, Okay, this is what that person over there wants me to wants me to do, or this is who that person over there wants me to be and I should sacrifice myself and I should stop being the real me and be this person instead. That’s where we start to get bitterness and resentment. And, and, and like, even at times hatred, and we really start to live this life through a life of fear as opposed to a life of happiness and joy and love. So I’d say we actually need to just discover who we really are and have the courage to show up as that Therefore, if we do that, we can’t really compare ourselves to anyone else. Because it’s like comparing apples and oranges.
David Ralph [35:09]
And it’s easy. Whoo, isn’t it? This is what I always say. And the beginning of Join Up Dots. I had an idea of what I wanted to show to be, but I didn’t kind of had the courage to do it. I would never have mentioned about having a gay threesome with a Dalai Lama on episode one of Join Up Dots. Now, if I was in a pub, I would have said that, and I used to do training courses. And I used to, I used to say anything and I used to think afterwards My God, if, if I were filming this, I’d get sacked for this, you know, the audience loved it. And they were just laughing their heads off. But I didn’t have the courage to actually do what I’m doing now because I had to go through that journey. But it is uniquely me. And it’s easy. It’s easy. Being me is easy being you as well. But we don’t do that do we? We kind of look at what other people are doing. You know, I listened to your podcast. I really enjoyed it and I listen To an American, I listen to the intro. First of all, when I listened to about three or four episodes, and I could still hear that you were following suit from other podcasters, you hadn’t been your swing, you weren’t enjoying it as much as you should be enjoying it because it was early in the days. But once you get into that, that Michael Glover, that swing, you’re going to really enjoy it, you’re going to think to yourself, why did it take me so long? And that’s the same in career building, isn’t it? When you find that thing that you really love doing? And you can find a way of monetizing it knife just becomes good. I’m actually dancing as I’m saying now, I’m feeling all inspired by my motivational speak, sir.
Michael Glover [36:40]
Yeah, I mean, it’s because what you also find as well as when you really be yourself and, you know, it kind of sounds cliche and really, like, be like, Don’t beat yourself sort of thing, but it’s true. Because if you do, if you want to be in yourself, then you just always Automatically attract the people into your life, whether that be relationships or clients and customers or just friendships or anyone in your life, you attract the people who want to be with you for being the real you, and therefore you don’t have to pretend anymore.
David Ralph [37:17]
Yeah, I think that is true. And it kind of becomes easy. I have clients now that that kind of just float towards me. And to be honest, I mean, the transition with Join Up Dots, I created a business that became very lucrative, but it was I went the wrong way right at the very beginning. And so I’m sort of backtracking now and changing things. So at the moment, I’m in sort of the interim, where I could once again have quite a lot of income coming my way, but I want to have my cake and eat it. I want to have the kind of income that I wake up every morning and God this is gonna be a great day. I’m really looking forward to this, where it was kind of, I would say, 70% crap and 30% I was really enjoying it. And I thought to myself, if I’ve made the corporately As I have Why aren’t I enjoying the hundred percent or at least 90%? So I’m at that point, but it’s exactly as what you’re saying. There’s no marketing going on. I’m just connecting with people who are coming towards me because they like me. Now I bet there’s billions of people out, well, probably not billions, maybe four, who hate me who absolutely hate me and can’t bear anything I do. I don’t really care. I don’t care about that for all those billions, you know, they can go and listen to us. They could go listen to your show, sir. That’s, that’s what I’ve done. That’s my Columbus, I’m gonna send all the people that hate me to go and listen to you. And then you’ll get a billion downloads and you’ll be well dominating as well. But we would still achieve our business one way.
Michael Glover [38:44]
Yeah, I mean, that’s that’s the key thing is that if you’re being you and you only attract 10 people towards you, and say it’s in a business situation and you want them to be clients, then they will pay you the or you can figure out how to pay how to get them To pay you the amount of money that you would that you desire, and then you don’t need the rest of the billion people like and it’s just it if it’s if you’re going that route, you’re just going down the people pleasing route and that’s never a good route to go down.
David Ralph [39:13]
So how do you make your money now obviously you’re over in Washington, you’ve got your beautiful American girlfriend and you are floating through a life that seems idyllic. You are probably earning quite a lot of money as an Ed Sheeran look alike. And in your you’re doing all right for yourself. So how do you make money?
Michael Glover [39:35]
If you think I look at you and then my brother is the absolute spitting image of Ed Sheeran.
He’s like full on ginger and everything.
But I, I help people with that mindset nowadays. So I kind of haven’t drifted that far from what I was actually doing at the end of my personal training career which was coaching people through all The crap that shows up in their life, the fear, the self doubt, the limiting beliefs, all this kind of stuff that goes on in our heads this negative self talk that holds us back that held me back. Because I went down this, this route of default personal training because I thought that’s where I had to go. I thought that’s whether the only route that I should go down, I didn’t believe there was a different route that I could take. I didn’t believe it was a different, there was a different possibility for me. And so this crippled me for for years and like you mentioned in the bio, like the whole social anxiety thing that I used to go through and still go through to certain degrees, but nowhere near as much as what it was. I discovered that I have to try and sort this out. I have to try and sort out my own head what is actually going on in my head. So I travelled around various parts of the world. I did a lot of reading and did a lot of research did got a lot of coaching from people and this is Now what I do is I help people to control that crazy bastard in their head is what I is how I like to call it.
David Ralph [41:09]
And how did they find you? They don’t just do go insane Britain, how can they actually find you?
Michael Glover [41:16]
Yes. So I’ve got the the the website is I am Michael Glover calm and I basically just everything that I do I share myself on Facebook so that is like we talked about Facebook before but that’s that’s where I like to interact with people and where I like to show up as much as possible as the real me and just share my thoughts share everything that I can do. And I just love to do what I love to do, if that makes sense. So I love to write and I love to create content and that’s so that’s that’s what I do. I write for other other blogs, I write my own blog, I write Facebook posts, I create videos and all this kind of amalgamates to someone somewhere going, you know what that guy looks cool. That guy looks like he’s talking some sense and maybe like you say like a billion other people go, No, he’s talking absolute bs like what’s what’s, what’s this guy talking about? But that one person comes over and says to me, I’d like to work with you or you know, or just I’d like to interact with you and thank you for sharing what you what you share. And it all kind of just amalgamates and like you said, there’s no real marketing plan, per se. There’s just the plan to daily show up as me share my thoughts in as powerful a way as possible. And that attracts the right people to me.
David Ralph [42:44]
And do you wake up every morning with a dude jump out of bed and do a little jiggy dance in your underpants ready for whatever’s been thrown your way?
Michael Glover [42:54]
most mornings, most mornings Yeah. I normally go through a routine to kind of get my My head in the, in the right space. So things like meditation and journaling and an exercise and things like that and making sure that I essentially make sure that the first part first portion of the day is for me, and looking after me solely and showing myself some love. Because I know that way I can show up in a much bigger way for everyone else in my life.
David Ralph [43:23]
I like to get up in the morning and annoy my kids. That’s what I like to do. And at the moment, I’ve I’ve got back into Oasis big time, and I don’t know why. But they made an album about 20 years ago called be here now. And every morning, I wake up and I sing around the well, you guys spread the word and my kids are going, Oh, that’s the same line. That’s the same line. You’ve been singing for 15 days, and I swear least I’m happy at least I’m happy. So that’s what I like to do. I’d like to get up, do a little bit of chigi on defence, and then sing Oasis songs. And wind up my kids. Once I’ve done that I’m like a coiled spring ready to go, sir. I think i think that’s that’s the way to bring enjoyment. Have you got any kids?
Michael Glover [44:08]
I don’t at the moment. No, no, but I can assure you I will be annoying my kids when they do come along.
David Ralph [44:16]
But my daughter actually is afternoon she’s got a friend coming around called Emily. Now I don’t know who Emily is. But apparently she’s told me about Emily all the time. And Emily is really clever. She’s actually said to me, Emily’s my clever friend like this kind of Oh, that Emily. Oh, it’s not that the stupid one. And she said to me, are you going to be around tonight died? And I said, Yeah, of course I’m and she said, I don’t know how to say this. And I said, well just just say and she says, Please don’t embarrass me. Please don’t embarrass me. And I said to her, why don’t you think I would embarrass you? And she said, because you like to embarrass me. And I thought, Oh, she told me now she told me I want to do it. I want to
Michael Glover [44:57]
do it. Now. It’s your obligation as a father Do it.
David Ralph [45:00]
Yeah, absolutely. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but I’m gonna go in and I’m gonna start off with saying that I interviewed Ed Sheeran this afternoon that happy big, I’ll get plus points for that. And then I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I’m just gonna have to do something
Michael Glover [45:13]
we actually got, I was with my brother in Prague 18 months ago, something like that. It just after I left the the personal training business, actually I went my brother lives in Germany, and we went travelling around Germany and we went into Prague, in Czech Republic, and we were walking down the main street in Prague. And all of a sudden, this group of Italian girls starts walking after us and starts chasing is like, what is what’s happening here like, and then we could hear them saying it’s, it’s at you and it’s at you and my brother, and he had to stop and get a picture with all these Italian girls, because they thought he was Ed Sheeran. Just walking down the street in Prague. So that’s a little Ed Sheeran story for you.
David Ralph [45:55]
I used to, it’s not anymore. I’m going grey and I’m moving My Look sir, but I used to get mistaken for Hugh Grant all the time and especially when I was in America that people used to come up to me oh my god is huge. And to begin with I used to sort of go Yeah, you’re joking. And then I used to pick up bloody oh you’re serious then I went through a phase of playing up to it and then I went through oh my god oh my god. I don’t know how people who are actually look alikes must feel when that person you see it like they were look alike for Barack Obama and Barack Obama is no longer the prime minister and they lose their business instantly overnight. Yeah. Yeah, that must be really difficult. Yeah,
Michael Glover [46:38]
the my brother as a person of ginger colour tends to just get lumped in with a look alike for anyone else who’s judging unfortunately. So he used to get called Chesney from Coronation Street when he when he was younger. All the time. He didn’t like it. That was basically his name for a long period of time with Chesney now it’s Ed Sheeran. Paul Scholes is kind of famous ginger people that he just gets lumped in. Because he’s a ginger. It’s funny, unfortunate for him at the same time. Do me a favour next time you see him right and get one of your friends to go. Oh, do you? Do you do you know, you remind me of Garfield cc he can do.
It does hate Mondays.
David Ralph [47:21]
Yeah, absolutely. Well, this is a part of the show that we’ve been building up to. And this is the speech that Steve Jobs made back in 2005. When he stood up in front of a load of eager students, and gave probably one of the greatest commencement speeches that I’ve ever heard. Here’s Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [47:36]
of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny life, karma, whatever Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart Even when it leads you off the well worn path and that will make all the difference
Michael Glover [48:11]
without doubt Yeah, I I remember listening to to that sermon for the first time and just thinking wow, this is just incredible that this this past that it’s just like this the past dots that have gone in my life just lead up to this point and
it’s it just it really affected me that
Unknown Speaker [48:37]
that’s been speech.
David Ralph [48:39]
Would you go back and change any of your thoughts? Would you go back and with a little rubber or an eraser just rub one out and make a different.or Do you need a more? There have been times in
Michael Glover [48:49]
my life where I’ve thought I wish I could go back and I wish I could change this and I wish I could change that and I wish I could do this differently. I wish I could do that differently but That was when I was in the midst of feeling crap all the time feeling bad about myself all the time. The biggest thing that I’ve learned and one of the biggest things that I’ve learned is to just accept that right now. Everything that I’ve done in my life every little moment, every second every dot has led me up until this point has led me to this point of talking to you on this podcast. And it’s tough when some of those dots are dots that you would prefer to rub out. But if you can appreciate those dots, even the bad dots or what you might term as bad dots, and appreciate them for the fact that it has led you up to this point now and it’s opportunity now to move in the direction that you want to go. That is that was a huge shift in myself and how I looked at my life and the world and and how I gone and a lot more joy my present moment.
David Ralph [49:57]
I lack a quality control chip with When my mouth is going up and down, and I realised that and I was on an interview the other day, and they said to me, if you could go back in time, if you could go back in time and change anything, what would you do? And how, where would you go? I said, I’ve got about five minutes. And I went, well, what’s the point in that? I said, because I wouldn’t change anything big in my life. But I could change the stupid things I say, and just be able to, to change it. And that’s the way isn’t it? You want your life to be as it is, because it leads to the point. But there’s there are those moments you think, Oh, I could have I could have said that. I could have said no, I’ve had enough to drink tonight. But you go back five, you know, it’s those kind of little things that you could change. You don’t want to change the big stuff.
Michael Glover [50:39]
Yeah, I mean, there are times where I’ve, I suppose. I wish I hadn’t had that extra drink, things like that. But yeah, the big stuff. The big stuff that happens even if it’s a bad, bad thing. It’s it brings you to its learning experience. It brings you to the point that you’re at now. And that little mindset shift of change into I appreciate it as opposed to I resent it can make all the difference in how you treat the present moment and garner the present moments of take you in the direction that you want to go.
David Ralph [51:12]
So just before we send you back in time, we’re going to send you a bit further than five minutes on a sermon on the mic. Where Where is your life leading now? You can’t just keep on rolling around Washington enjoying yourself up, you’ve got to actually work for a living so where’s your plan?
Michael Glover [51:28]
Yeah, so the plan is to somehow cuz because my girlfriend’s American, I’m obviously British. It’s tough with the whole visa thing to try and be allowed to be to work and live in the same place and long term. So our plan is to be together in the UK. Come August. We’re going to be living the life that I’ve kind of always wanted to live. Have a nice little house have a nice little place to live. Be coaching people online. In my business and that is my vision for the future that’s how I tend to work best is to kind of work with these, like a bigger thing for the for the future but but focusing mainly on their kind of more short, short to medium term things. So that is where I see myself going in the next year or so.
David Ralph [52:20]
And further afield you don’t think about that you just think about those very short term goals.
Michael Glover [52:24]
Yeah, I think about it a little bit. Obviously, I want to grow the podcast, I want to grow my coaching business even more and have various different group coaching programmes going on to help people with their mindset and help people push through all the stuff going through their heads. But I tend to work better thinking about this vision as a general vision of okay that is where I want to go and spending more time living in the now in the present moment and These these smaller, shorter to medium term things of, okay, that’s where I want to go, I want to be able to travel, I want to be able to have a business that that enables me to travel enables me to have the free time to enjoy that travel as well. And that’s that’s my main vision for the future.
David Ralph [53:20]
Brilliant stuff. Well, this is my vision for the future. And this is the bit that we call the Sermon on the mic when I send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Michael, what advice and what age would you choose? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme and when it fades Europe, this is the Sermon on the mind
Unknown Speaker [53:47]
with the best bit of the show
Michael Glover [54:04]
So, David, the three I’ve prepared prepared three things to say to my 13 year old self, who was a very, very anxious and extremely shy and introverted, 13 year old self. But the first thing that I would say is, don’t be scared of the word love. And that sounds kind of corny and weird, but I was very scared of using this word love and to show it and be able to receive it and to anything that kind of was was mushy and emotional like that. I built up this huge mask of fake masculinity of a man, this isn’t what not what a real man does. And so I would say don’t be scared of the word love and to show all the things that go along with it. I’d also say be real, be honest. And finally, I would say find your In the process, not hoping it will come in, in the result of that process, delay joy, delayed happiness, find joy in the process.
David Ralph [55:13]
Right staff and that is words of wisdom, not just for the young Michael, but all of us, Michael, what is the number one best way for our audience who’ve been listening today can connect with you?
Michael Glover [55:23]
Yes. So as I said before, Facebook is really the place where I tend to hang out and share a lot. My best stuff, anything that I’ve got going on, is usually on Facebook. So feel free to add me as a friend. I don’t bother with the Facebook page likes and stuff like that. Just connect with me as a friend and we’ll interact and hopefully we can inspire each other to move forward.
David Ralph [55:47]
Great stuff. Michael, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build futures. Michael Glover, thank you so much.
Michael Glover [56:03]
Thank you for having me on David. It’s been a real pleasure.
David Ralph [56:09]
So all comes down to mindset doesn’t it, he’s in a situation where he, he’s not happy with the environment that he’s created, even though he’s put money into it. And he pivoted, he changed direction. And that’s the key thing you can rewrite your story even if you have been studying for years and years and years to do something. If it’s not making you happy, then there’s no point in doing it. You need to look at what lights up those fires, relight your fires take that said you’ve got to be in the United Kingdom to understand that and and just go for it because those fires will burn bigger and bigger and bigger. And quite frankly, you will blaze a path across the world. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Join Up Dots. I am loving this more than ever and ever and ever. Thank you all for being part of it. Cheers. See ya. Bye.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant Sell fewer wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.