Amy Mewborn Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Amy Mewborn
Amy Mewborn is our guest today on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots free podcast interview.
She is a lady who has such a story of overcoming work issues, personal issues and what the hell do i do issues, that its a delight to have her on today’s show.
As she says “I grew up outside Chicago and come from a family of employees. I was the first in my family to move from the midwest, and the first to leave a steady paycheck and become an entrepreneur; and I swear it caused my Mom to have to start blood pressure medicine with worry!
I was always taught to work hard, get into a good college, get good grades, get a good job, and save toward retirement.
I met my husband Mike on vacation in Hawaii in 2001 and moved to San Diego. I joined a small boutique financial planning firm where my most well known clients were owners of Ford, Chuck E Cheese, and Vinturi Wine Aerator.
In 2005, Mike and I bought our million dollar dream home, and less than a month in (we hadn’t even made the first payment yet, and Mike lost his job). So, my income and hard work became more necessary and critical!
Despite sitting at the dining room table with some of the most amazing business men in the world, I just wasn’t enjoying it any more!
How The Dots Joined Up For Amy
In 2008, I had a minor stroke. I was VERY lucky, but the stroke shed a lot of light on my life and priorities.
I had my stroke on Sunday. I was in the hospital until 8 pm Tuesday night, and was back at my desk by 8 am the next morning.
I had put SUCH a high value on being dependable and achieving, that I didn’t even take any time off to rehabilitate or just take a breath.
I knew this life wasn’t working for me, but I was the primary breadwinner for our family, and we were counting on that steady paycheck.”
And that is where we will begin this episode of Join Up Dots.
So how did she go from this point and create her own image of success, leading to a life that she didn’t dread every morning?
And does she look back and think “What the hell was I doing? Why did I push myself through such punishment”
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Amy Mewborn.
Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Amy Mewborn such as:
Why it is such madness that we spend so much time trying to be what other people want us to be, although we rarely ask them actually what they DO want us to be.
How Amy remembers being in a place as a child where she had everything she ever wanted, and how it left a huge desire on her to never let anyone down.
Why the panic we feel trying to be something for everyone can actually leave us being nothing for everyone.
and lastly….
Why taking an unplanned day off is so amazingly therapeutic and can give you the energy to come back and crush it BIGTIME in your business.
Amy Mewborn Books
How To Connect With Amy Mewborn
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Full Transcription Of Amy Mewborn Interview
Intro [0:09]
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:34]
Yes, hello, everybody. Hello, bear. This is a dots. So that means I am the doctor Meister and I’m going to be bringing you another story where we join up the dots of our guests take her back and forth to the crib to the grave and everywhere in between to find out how she she’s achieved her success and today’s lady. She is somebody who really asked to be on a show like Join Up Dots because she has such a story of overcoming work. issues, personal issues. And as she says, and what the hell do I do issues but it’s a delight to have her on today’s show. As she says I grew up outside Chicago and came from a family of employees. I was the first of my family to move from the Midwest and the first to leave a steady paycheck and become an entrepreneur and I swear, and I swear she says, it caused my mom to have to start blood pressure medicine with worry. I was always taught to work hard, get into a good college, get good grades, get a good job, and save towards retirement now. I met my husband Mike on vacation in Hawaii in 2001 and moved to San Diego and I joined a small boutique financial planning firm, where my most well known clients were owners afford Chuckie cheese never heard of Chucky cheese, but it sounds a good thing. And venturi wine area later in 2005, Mike and I bought our million dollar dream home and less than a month in we hadn’t even made the first payment yet. Mike lost his job. So my income and hard work became more necessary and critical, right? You’re staying with us people now. Sitting at the dining room table with some of the most amazing businessmen in the world. I just wasn’t enjoying any more. And in 2008, I had a minor stroke. I was very lucky but a stroke shed a lot of light on my life and priorities. I had my stroke on Sunday. I was in a hospital until 8pm Tuesday night and was back at my desk by 8am. The next morning, I put such a high value on being dependable and achieving. But I didn’t even take any time off to rehabilitate or just take a breath. I knew this life wasn’t working for me. But I was the primary breadwinner for our family. And we were counting on that steady paycheck. And that is where we will begin this episode of Join Up Dots. So how did she go from this point and create our own image of success leading to a life that she didn’t dread every morning? And does she look back and think what the hell was I doing? Why did I push myself through such punishment? I must have been mad. I must have been mad anyone? Well, let’s find out as we bring them to the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Amy Mewborn. Good morning, Amy. How are you?
Amy Mewborn [3:03]
Hi, David. I’m great. How are you today?
David Ralph [3:06]
I’m always good. I am always good in the life of Join Up Dots life is good because I get to spend a lovely time with people like you. And I get to ask a leading question, and it’s a question I’ve got to cut to the choice. Will you made? Were you mad when you hear that introduction, that you’ve pushed yourself? And you had your stroke and you’ve got straight back to work? You must have been a little bit mental one. Yeah.
Amy Mewborn [3:28]
Absolutely. I think that when you have been trained to be a certain person or a certain thing to everyone, you set that expectation of yourself whether it’s realistic, crazy or not.
David Ralph [3:44]
But you don’t set it for anyone really do you just set it for what they you kind of think they want you to do. And that’s the thing. We never ask anyone. What do you want from me but we spend all our time rushing around trying to deliver Something that more often than not people aren’t asking for anyway.
Amy Mewborn [4:03]
Well, it’s so it’s so funny because I think a lot of times we’re thinking that people are thinking about us, or have certain expectations of us, when they’re not really thinking about us at all. They have their own things going on. And so we’re putting a lot of this fear, frustration and expectation on ourselves.
David Ralph [4:21]
What watch, what do you think we do that? Amy? Why do you think we do that? Because, you know, I’m nodding in agreement. So I know that to be true. And I imagine most of the people out there listening will think it’s true as well, is it just because we come from a point where we don’t think for ourselves as children, we get told what to do. When we go into school, when we get told what to do. So we’re kind of on that path of not thinking for ourselves.
Amy Mewborn [4:45]
I think there’s certainly a lot of that the fact that we are kind of conditioned to especially as children, I was to be seen and not heard, and to go and do what everyone said to do. Be a good little child and do do what you’re supposed to do, and a lot of times we carry a lot of those trainings and I call them tapes, things that we’re playing over in our head over and over again, well into our adulthood, even when it doesn’t serve us anymore.
David Ralph [5:15]
Because I’m not sure I would love to go into therapy I won’t go into because it’s not something that the English really do. It seems to be an American thing. I don’t know why that is. Yeah, it is. You all love therapy out there. Even if you don’t need therapy, you have therapy. But I would love to go there because when I listened to the statements like that, about tapes playing in the head, I think to myself, I don’t have any I don’t have any but I do I just haven’t tapped into what my tapes are. How have you come to realise what your tapes are playing in your head.
Amy Mewborn [5:49]
So the biggest thing for me is that you described it a little bit in my intro that I basically grew up from an entire family of employees and I am Your stereotypical Midwest girl. I basically started school at five years old. I went and did everything just the way you were supposed to do it graduated from college and three years. And everything was always about doing this to get to the next step. And in the Midwest, one of the things that’s very common is it’s a lot of kind of blue collar work. So my dad was an ironworker. And so he got up every single morning at five o’clock in the morning, and was working outside in the snow in 110 degree temperatures. And I always felt very grateful for everything that I had. But it was very, very apparent to me that my parents had worked very hard for all of it. And so there was a tremendous amount of internalisation about me feeling grateful for it, and also for me, Not squandering opportunities, because I saw how hard my parents were working for every opportunity that I had. It’s interesting that you
David Ralph [7:09]
do that because my mom and dad as as an adult, now, I’m a bit more clued up what it was like growing up. Now, I grew up in the 70s. And it didn’t seem to be a lot of money around now, I didn’t realise that we have as a Christmas present. We always had a holiday. He might not have been abroad, you know, but it was a holiday in the United Kingdom. We had a sort of just a normal life. Now. I hear stories about how they couldn’t do this. And they couldn’t do that. And they sat there worrying every night. Why were you so aware of that? Because when I was a kid, I mean, I was just being a kid. I didn’t think about anyone other than my kitty self.
Amy Mewborn [7:44]
Sure. So first of all, my parents were 17 when I was born, so
David Ralph [7:50]
we started a batch young in there. That is a hell of a shocker. 17 both of them
Unknown Speaker [7:56]
Yes. Now,
Amy Mewborn [8:02]
I was born just a couple weeks after my mom graduated from high school, and my grandmother will tell the story about one day literally, she packed my dad’s lunch to send them off to high school. And then the next day from graduation, she packed his lunch to send him off to be an ironworker. And so, literally our first house, my dad and my grandfather built it from kind of it had been in a fire, so they bought it inexpensively and they built it from pretty much scratch. So I just remember being being in a place where I literally had everything I could ever want. It was never ever a case of I was told we can’t afford this or anything else. But I saw how hard they work. And at this point, my dad is 58. He had a knee replacement A number of years ago just from all of the years of hard work, and so there’s just so many things that happened, kind of as you go through life that you, you notice. And when I was getting ready to go to college again, my parents were very young, I was the oldest of three. And they hadn’t really done a tonne to save for me to go to university. And my mom ended up going and getting a job at the local private university. And I did three years of college at a private university that the average was $25,000 a year. And I got it for free because she was working there. So I just saw so many things in my life, that my parents had just made such really good, hard working, honest decisions to give us all of the opportunities we’ve ever had. And so in
David Ralph [9:49]
a funny way, although they gave you every opportunity, it on a mental level, it kind of held you back somehow did it because you didn’t want to you know For your own personal dream, you didn’t want to let anyone down.
Amy Mewborn [10:04]
Oh, absolutely. I mean, when I was in college, I don’t know that I even really ever thought about what I really wanted to be when I grew up. I just wanted to do these smart stable things. So I basically studied business and finance. And I did exactly what everyone says you should do when I was 18 years old, I went and started interning with American Express in finance. I interned with them for almost three years. I went to them on my 21st birthday straight out of college and started working full time with them and just everything that I did was very deliberate and very planned.
David Ralph [10:45]
Well you a bit boring at me in college but with the Did you did you ever go a bit sort of mental and sort of, you know, do to kind of wild collied stuff or were you just booked San Giovanni in and out studying?
Amy Mewborn [10:58]
Oh, I was totally the best. under my arm, I tried to join a sorority, I actually did join a sorority, and my parents wouldn’t let me stay in it. They’re like now there’s just too much going on there. And we really need you to focus on getting good grades and having your job and having your internship and all that. So no, I really, my college experience was not a lot of fun. It was a, it was a good college experience. But it certainly was not a lot of fun. I said I was already graduated by the time I was 21. So for me, it was a very, very serious time to get all of the ducks in a row for the next thing. All the
David Ralph [11:37]
ducks in a row that would be better than it. Yeah. That would be even better. You could have played into my hands were so obviously we’re going to take you back in time at the end of the show. But if I could send you back in time now to the sort of before you started college. Amy, would you apply it in a totally different way would you go through, you know, drinking secretly at your desk, and Having fun, oh, would you still go with the books under the arm,
Amy Mewborn [12:03]
I would probably still go with the books under the arm. So you
David Ralph [12:06]
wouldn’t change at all on that.
Amy Mewborn [12:09]
I don’t think I would change that, per se. What I probably would change is, I really believe that every person should take the opportunity to go travel internationally and do a semester abroad or a year abroad. In college, I think especially as Americans, we are so sheltered and we really don’t do nearly enough to explore other cultures, learn other languages, and all of that. So I I would say that of my college years, that would be the one thing that I wish I would have fought for, to say, Hey, guys, I really, really want to go do a year abroad. I’m finishing college in three years, the University was going to pay for a fourth. Why don’t I go do it abroad?
David Ralph [12:55]
I think I think that’s a great advice for everyone. Isn’t it really did you know today live, live, see stuff, run to the top of the heels, you know, and just life becomes serious somehow. And certainly when you get to the point where you start having that perceived responsibility now I speak to people on a daily basis who, quite honestly are, you know, just they take those responsibilities that we all say, Oh, you can’t do that, because you’ve got kids, you can’t do that because you got a mortgage. You can’t do that because you’ve got a job, and they turn it on their head. But life does come up, wrap its arms around you somehow and stops you being the fun person. You got to do it. When you’re young and you I say to all my daughters, go out and sleep with as many people as you want and have experiences. Because when you find the right one, it’s gonna be out of your system. It’s gonna be out your system so that you don’t later on think that you’ve missed out on something.
Amy Mewborn [13:48]
That’s hilarious. That was totally my husband’s philosophy, I think too.
David Ralph [13:52]
Yeah, I think it was your dad says, well, Blimey, he started young, didn’t he? I’m still trying to get over that one. Instead having a nosebleed with that one. So we’ve your life at the moment, let’s let’s just move you to where you are. And then of course, Join Up Dots goes back and forth. What do you do? Now you’re an entrepreneur, you’ve created a business. But what is your business I don’t think we quite now did in the introduction.
Amy Mewborn [14:16]
So I actually have a couple of businesses. I run a fitness studio here in San Diego, and it is a women’s ballet bar studio. So it’s small group fitness. And I did that as kind of my first foray into the entrepreneurial space after finance. And I did it because it was the first thing that I saw that I was both passionate about, but also made financial sense because again, I have been trained to be nothing but responsible. So every time I saw a really cool business opportunity, I’m like you, I don’t think it really makes financial sense and because I have been the primary breadwinner for my household for many, many years. It really had to it had to pay the bills. So that’s kind of my first and my bread and butter position. And then what I started doing is I started helping women all over the world open their own studios. And so I kind of fell into business coaching as I went along the way and then my true love is I love online marketing. I love kind of putting all of the dots together in terms of technology and how to make my technology work for me when I’m not doing the work. So I have kind of expanded into that space where I do a lot of business coaching on using technology, automation, sales funnels, and that kind of thing.
David Ralph [15:50]
So this is the part of the business when you’re sitting there and you’re 20 hours a day you in front of your website and you’re putting information down in your you’re connecting with me When you can you’re hustling and then somebody comes along to you and says, Have you got an Instagram account? And you go, No, I happen. Do I need one? Do I need an Instagram? Our course you need an Instagram account if you’ve got one. And what about what about Pinterest? And I know what Pinterest is, is it? That’s the same as Instagram? Is it now now it’s not, it’s very different. And you’re gonna get that you’ve got both of those going. And so you’ve got Facebook going, you’ve got Pinterest going, you’ve got bloody Instagram going, you’ve got everything going. And you think that you’re sort of juggling it all. And then somebody comes along and says to you, have you done a sales funnel? And that the fear the fear in your heart, because you can’t take on any more? you’re juggling every single thing? Have you been proved that have you had that state of overwhelm? Have you had those moments when you think I just don’t know why I’m putting this picture on this website, but people have told me how to do it.
Amy Mewborn [16:50]
Certainly some of that, for me. I’ve always believed in hiring business coaches, so I’ve always kind of had someone in my life I can bounce ideas off of that they’re not too close to my business, and they can actually give me really good advice. That too long ago I was at an event and Gary Vee was speaking, and he was just doing like he does just getting super, super excited about Snapchat, and I was there with my brother and I looked at my brother and I’m like, dude, I do not want to take on one more thing. I am not getting on Snapchat, I am just not gonna get on Snapchat. And so here I am about a year later, and I’m still not on Snapchat. And everyone is starting to say that that is the place to be and I I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m too old. I don’t know. But that’s one of those things that I have kind of found where my tribe hangs out. And for me, it’s basically Facebook and Instagram. So I don’t really spend a lot of time on Twitter. I don’t spend a lot of time on Pinterest. I basically spend my time on creating videos on YouTube, doing podcasting. And I actually would like to launch my own podcast next year. And then basically hanging out in the social media channels where I know my people are.
David Ralph [18:17]
Yeah, I think that’s very wise. I really do. I’ve been, you know, in the early days I am. Well, even now I have, I’ve got a couple of platforms. And I tried to structure my time so I can be there as much as possible without being pulled from pillar to post. Because when I started, I literally went, I had one person on one arm, I had another person on the other leg, I was being pulled, it was like Medi evil torture. It really was. I was a bit like that guy, Stretch Armstrong, you remember that from the 70s when you could pull it. Now maybe you’re too young for that, but it was his toy. And you could just, it was bizarre. It was like a rubber man and you just poured his arms and legs longer, many sort of went less and less and less than what I was all about. But I was on all these different platforms. And I remember gave me a bit of advice. And I think this is genius advice. It’s a little bit non PC, but it’s, um, it’s worthwhile hearing it. And it’s my show, so I’m going to do it anyway. Now this guy said to me, he said, building a business is all about finding your tribe. So you’ve got to find the place where your products are needed the most. Imagine you are a burger seller. So you got a van, or you got a store. Where are you going to put your burger van so that you make the most money? And I said to him, Well, outside sporting events I said, and he said, Nope, Ethiopia. That’s where they are hungry. Just put your burger van bear and you will sell more products. And I thought genius That’s it, isn’t it? You’re not looking for all these different platforms every single place trying to find a little bit of this and a little bit of that you’re just finding that one place where the people want your stuff, and they will buy your products. Now I don’t really see is going to be that valuable for me to be on Instagram and Twitter is useful, you know, because it builds your exposure. I don’t really see But um, Facebook Live. Yeah. Because that’s kind of audio and visual. on YouTube, I see that as well. So I think it is very, very wise to find you at 20. Find your tribe and just focus in on that. What do you think?
Amy Mewborn [20:13]
I love that. I think that not too long ago, I was working with a client. And she basically described this horrible fear of missing out and she wanted so badly to be everything to everyone, that she really wasn’t being anything good to any one person. And eventually, I think that that’s where as we start to get a little older and we start to get a little wiser, we realise that, okay, I can’t make everyone happy. And I don’t even want to try. So I’m going to do what I think is best for me and for my clients. And that’s where I’m going to spend my time and that’s where I’m gonna spend my energy.
David Ralph [20:51]
Yes, that’s it. That’s it. You can start drinking at your desk at eight o’clock in the morning. Don’t even go to your desk, just start drinking in baby Because your clients won’t need you, they won’t need you. And that’s the way it’s got to be. You’ve got to set your store now, but it’s right for you and your clients, don’t you? Because when I started this many, many years ago, or it seems like many, many years ago, I had a big focus on pub lunches. I thought that’s what I was going to aim for. I was going to be able to be there on a Tuesday sitting, sipping my beer nicely in a pub garden, enjoying my life while everybody else sort of walked around looking great and stressed. And the truth was anything bad. I literally, I literally dug my own grave. I was working so hard at getting this going. But there was there’s a tipping point. I think the tipping point for all of us is when we stop doing what we’re doing and we start looking around at other people and thinking, why are they managing to do yoga sessions for half the morning and then go for a run on the beach and then speak to a few people and the reason why by how to do that is by Doing everything, they’re just doing the right things. They’re allowing themselves the space to provide the maximum value for their customers, but also maximum value for yourself. You don’t have to end up in an early grave, you don’t have to have a stroke, you don’t actually have to climb out your hospital bed Two days later, you just need to do what’s right for you and your family. And more often than not, by giving yourself that space is going to be right for your customers as well. What do you think,
Amy Mewborn [22:26]
completely, and a lot of times as an employee, you have no concept of what that looks like, because you’re so busy following instructions, that you really don’t even know what the right thing at the right time is. Because basically everyone above you says that’s above your paygrade. So, once you’re an entrepreneur, it’s not always easy. And I would say that when I first started, I always tell people, you need to be prepared for your first probably six months to a year in your business. Unless you have really laid the groundwork. You’re probably going to work Carter, and you’re going to work more. But like yesterday, my husband and I decided we were going to just play hooky. So we went over to the local amusement park. And we just took the day off. And it wasn’t planned. It wasn’t something that we had intended to do. But things here have just been kind of crazy. And everyone’s like, yeah, I think I think we’re gonna just take a day
David Ralph [23:22]
and Where is it? Where is the hooky location that you ran right around?
Amy Mewborn [23:28]
So there’s a little park called Knott’s Berry Farm up by Disneyland in an outside LA and so it’s this great little plays, they play pay a tonne of homage to history, and it’s just a great place to go have a good day. So I would say that probably Sunday or Monday we’re like you know what, why don’t we just go ahead and and take the day off. So we got up yesterday morning, we checked the election results and we got in the car and We decided we’re going to turn off all the social media and we’re going to go just do our thing.
David Ralph [24:04]
Yeah, that’s the way to do it. Just turn off the computer and run around like mad people. Yesterday afternoon, actually, I decided, but I’ve had enough work. So I went indoors, and I turned on Netflix, which is like a black hole, isn’t it? You can always find stuff on there. And I found a David Bowie documentary that I’ve been paying to watch for ages. So I thought, Oh, I watched that was two o’clock in the afternoon, and I fell asleep like an old man dribbling down the front of my laptop. But I could do it, I could do it. And I woke up a bit guilty because the kids hadn’t come back from school yet. So I sort of turned it off so that I didn’t know that I’d been doing that in the afternoon. I felt so much better for it. So is it’s great. I recommend that run around, be mad, be crazy, because when you come back, the work is still waiting, and you’ll probably recharge ready to go. Now what I’m going to do now I’m going to play some words from a lady who talks about that theme of doing the right thing for you doing the right thing. The business is Oprah.
Oprah Winfrey [25:02]
The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this too. But what is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because, you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you, because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [25:33]
Ryan, got a question for you, Amy. And this is a bedroom time. Yes. It’s the kind of stuff that goes on between couples in their bedroom. You’re both in bed, you and your husband, and the wind is blowing outside and you pull the sheets up to your neck, and you turn and say, darling, darling, I’ve got something to tell you. And he looks at you and look at him. And you say I know teams, and financially we’re a bit tight at the moment, but I I want to quit my job. I’m not happy anymore. I want to go out and do my own thing. Did he jump out of his bed? And and run around the room in his special pants pointing at you saying no, no, you cannot do this, you mad woman? Or did he go? Yeah, fine. I’ve been waiting for you to make that decision for a long time. Well, how did that pan out? Because there comes a time in all couples relationships, when normally you get to that point where one has to go in a different direction. Was he supportive? Or did he scream in his lucky pants?
Amy Mewborn [26:30]
My husband could not have been more supportive. It was it was such a blessing for me. I don’t know that I would have done it had he not been supportive. He’s been an entrepreneur his whole life. And at this point, he’s been a realtor now for 10 or 11 years. And so his business is very, very unstable. And when it’s good, it’s really good and when it’s bad, it’s horrid. And it’s one of those things that He knew that I just was not happy. He had seen it for an extended period of time. Literally one particular Friday afternoon, I sat in traffic almost two and a half hours coming home for my corporate job. And I walked in the door, and he said, okay, change clothes. We need to go back south about an hour to meet some friends for dinner. And literally, we were driving in the car back south and I started to hyperventilate, I’m like, I cannot do this much longer. I’m about to lose my mind. You’re going to put me in the funny farm. And he just he was always very good about supporting me listening to me. And he also knew that because I am a financial girl. I wanted to make sure that something that I did made financial sense as well.
David Ralph [27:51]
Yeah, but what’s the truth? What’s the truth that you are hyperventilating just because you didn’t like the friends you were going out for dinner with is true by me. Let us know because it seems strange to me. You had been doing some quite naughty things anyway leading up to that point. So why do you think you started hyperventilating in the car? Was it just that everything had built up to that moment? Or was it their friends, you can tell us they’re not gonna listen to this Anyway, let us know.
Amy Mewborn [28:17]
So literally, as I was still in corporate and I was making that drive, we lived probably about 30 minutes away from the office, but boy boy in rush hour traffic, it could be an hour, it could be two hours or in that particular case, it was almost two and a half and I just, I was getting up in the morning. I was going to the gym at five o’clock in the morning to stay out of the rush hour traffic on the way down. I would go to the gym at five. I would shower at six I was in my office by seven and then I was heading out at 430 and Literally, I would often not even see the outside from five o’clock in the morning basically until 430 because my gym was in my building. So it was just absolutely insane and I couldn’t do it much longer I just couldn’t do it.
David Ralph [29:19]
So when you decided to make that decision or was it instantly pleasurable because as you said to your clients, you’re going to be certainly in the early days gonna be working a lot more hours and you’ve already been working a lot of hours so how did you squeeze that extra time in and make it you know, financially viable and a cost the business but you you wanted? How did you do that if you didn’t have much time anyway.
Amy Mewborn [29:46]
It was so funny, David, literally I would say I left finance on Friday afternoon. I’ve opened my studio on Monday morning I had been kind of working it in the background prior to putting in my notice in finance, and I would say that for the first two weeks, every single day, I would put my head on my husband Mike’s lap, and I would cry. And I would be like, what was I thinking? There’s so much more to all of this than I had ever imagined. I didn’t properly market this prior to getting the doors open. I’m so busy and I’m so tired that I’m actually praying that my clients won’t show up just so I can sleep on the mats in the corner. And it it was just it was one of those things that for a few weeks, I literally wondered, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?
David Ralph [30:42]
So your husband walked around with a wet patch on his lap every single day? Is that what we’re saying? You made him look like an older man.
Amy Mewborn [30:52]
Again, God bless him. He has he has the patience of Job.
David Ralph [30:56]
I’ll tell you what, I think he has got the patience of Joe patience. Joe I’ll tell you why I wouldn’t put up with that. I won’t put up with walking around with Soucie pants looking like I’ve ever had an accident, or I’m just easing into old age, I’d be putting plastic sheets down all over the place. So like I did when my wife was giving birth, we basically covered the house in bubble wrap, just so case, in case a waters broke and we didn’t make you know, puddles all over the place. Now, I wouldn’t put up with that. So I think you’ve got a very good man. And so when did it start coming together for you? When did it start getting to that point when you realise but actually, you’ve got a business here. And it’s not just a case of, if I work really hard at something, it will, it will naturally occur. Because when I started Join Up Dots, and I’m always saying this, but my whole business plan at the beginning was very much like, you know, if you build it, they will come you just record a podcast, put it out to the world and away it goes. And in many ways it is bad, but there’s a structure behind it. There’s a strict strategy that needs to be done. So when did you stop making Your husband’s trials is all soggy. And instead focus on the strategic way of growing your business.
Amy Mewborn [32:06]
So I would say probably about two months in once I had the doors open, we had clients coming in, and I still wasn’t really seeing the results. I wanted to see, that was the moment that I had to step back and start to be a little bit more strategic in my marketing, and determine, okay, I’ve had my doors open for two months now, I can now go back and see what’s working, what’s not working, where I should be spending more time where I should be spending more money, and focus a little bit more on that. And so I would say that as soon as you start to get your first few moments of success as an entrepreneur, then you start to feel a little bit more like okay, all of this hard work is worth it. Didn’t go and just blow up my life with one decision. And so it just it took a little bit of time to step back and identify what was working, what wasn’t working, where I wanted to spend my time where that 8020 was supposed to go. And then all of a sudden things start to fall into place a little bit more.
David Ralph [33:19]
Yet, you’ve nailed it. You have now, Amy, you are a podcasting legend. That’s why you’re on the show. Because, you know, you said it better, but you’re not defined by one decision. And Oprah said that, and it’s so true because when you’re in corporate land, and you’re thinking of transitioning into entrepreneurial well do you come into being by earning 50 grand a year, I’ve got to instantly earn 50 grand, nothing needs to change in my life. It’s just gonna be an easy transition. But of course it’s not like that and you go from 50 grand down to 15 grand to 25 Grand 30 grand and then 25 it goes up and down is that roller coaster, but over time You are looking at your own life and realising what you really need. Because we don’t need the amount of luxuries that we have in our life. We don’t need the 300 days, you know, because when I left join, when I left the corporate gig and started Join Up Dots, I took a hell of a whack on my income. And a lot of people thought I was mentored, I was saying, why are you doing it? But I just bought is now or never. It’s no and never, as always one said and Elvis was right. He’s not with us anymore. But he was right. And so what I did, I looked at all the expenditure that I had each month. And that was like the Netflix that’s the cable TV, the two holidays and I said, No, we’re not having two holidays. This year, kids were only having one. And the next year we didn’t even have one, you know, we just had a little trip here or there. And I looked at it and I realised actually I don’t need half the amount of money to keep my lights on. And I wish I did that before I quit my job. Because I think it’s an easier way to transition, you’re not looking for that big, almost unattainable, 50, grand, 60, grand, 70, grand, whatever you’re looking at something that just keeps you safe, keeps you dry, keeps you warm. But boy, you can actually start building it up again. Because once you get into entrepreneurial life, you realise that actually the salary that you was getting in corporate land is just the tip of the iceberg. That is what somebody, that’s the minimum that somebody wanted to give you. They don’t come into a job and go, tell me what’s the most, you’d like us to pay you a try to give you the minimum. But in entrepreneurial land, there’s no minimum, you can do what you want. I think it’s a good way of doing it. What do you think?
Amy Mewborn [35:38]
I completely agree, I say that my husband’s a realtor. And basically, what I had said before that the years the good years are really good and the bad years are horrid. And so for him 2014 was the worst year he had ever had. 2015 was the best year he ever had. And then 2016 has been worse than 2014 And so there’s always this perpetual stepping back and re evaluating where you are and what you need. And so I, you said before that I have my million dollar house and we had a country club membership and all of the things that we have done and had, and I love them. But they’re certainly not nearly as important as us just being able to sit down on a Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon and turn on some Netflix and just be grateful for the life that we’ve built and the fact that we have each other. And it’s so important, I think, to just take a little bit of time to step away from your business, to step away from your life, and especially to do it as a couple go vacation or go do something to reconnect and find what’s important to you because for me my best ideas and my biggest bouts bouts of creativity basically come from my quiet time. And that’s normally me sitting by a pool with an umbrella drink at a great book.
David Ralph [37:11]
Now, you might not know this, but I am actually a host of another podcast called dream starters Academy, which is a members only podcast is part of my coaching platform. So if you want it, guys, if you want it, and you want to know what we talked about, man, you got to sign up for the coaching. But in today’s episode I released it was called, sometimes it’s better to do nothing. And the premise of the whole show was the fact that sometimes you are so driven to create, it’s the worst time to actually do it. Now me shows great. I come up to the recording studio on the first day, we connect. We have a little pre chat and we start recording and it’s pretty much is driven by the conversation. But when you are creating a content driven podcast, it’s like creating a new blog post. You’ve got to get the idea and I was coming up here and it was rubbish and I was trying to force it through and I was editing it and moving around. And what you really want to do is just press record and bang, it comes out because you know, that is the goal. That’s the great ideas. So there are some times but it’s better to just do nothing, isn’t it and just allow those thoughts to come to you. instead of chasing, chasing, chasing Hurry, how are we? How are we going for it? Just let it go. Just let it flow over you and then wait until your body is ready to collect that message. Now it seems a bit woowoo. But I do think that there is a computer in you that’s operating at such a speed over time. And sometimes we just got to put it on standby and let it you know, call itself down and allow it to come back stronger. Do you think?
Amy Mewborn [38:47]
Absolutely. I think that sometimes we make decisions from kind of a forced position. And if we just would take a little bit of time to step away and it could be as simple as just going for an hour And getting massage or going for a run. My best ideas honestly sometimes come when I’m on my treadmill, and I’m just getting my blood flowing. And I’m kind of paying attention to things other than my business. All of a sudden I’ll be running along and I’m like, Oh my goodness, I have an amazing idea and I can’t wait to get home and implement it.
David Ralph [39:20]
Yeah, so absolutely. Do you jump off the treadmill? Like a female Southern mass red rash, rubbish hair all sweaty and just steam into it? Or do you calm yourself down and have a shower get home? Because I think I would forget the idea before I got home. So how do you do it?
Amy Mewborn [39:38]
No, normally I will pause the treadmill and I always have my phone with me. So I’ll send myself a text with a note. You see I have all my best
David Ralph [39:45]
ideas at about half past three in the morning and I’m laying there next do normally as snoring female, and not just normally most of the time and be the noise wakes me up and say this because she’s not gonna listen to Anyway, and then noise wakes me up. And I think to myself, what what’s happening? What’s happening? It’s like somebody has planted. It’s like Jurassic Park, somebody has planted this dinosaur by the side of me making all this noise. And as I’m laying there in the dark, feeling the curtains being sucked into the room and pushed out and doors opening violet force at this snoring, I have these amazing ideas. But of course, I can’t sort of scribble them down because I’m not allowed to turn a light on because she’d murder me, she really would. And finally morning, once you sort of get up and you get involved in the kids and having a shower and stuff, they’re just gone. They’re just gone. I’ve lost these amazing ideas. So what should I do? How can I overcome this issue? Other than sleeping in the spare room from now on? Because I do like a little bit of cuddle time every now and again. What do you think Amy?
Amy Mewborn [40:47]
So I would either I probably would not take my phone over there because for me if my phone is there next to my bed, I really want to kind of just check it and just make sure everything’s okay but if I were you I would get one of those little Book lights, and I would have a little notebook and just get up in the morning and jot them down. Because the problem is those are genuinely some of our best ideas. The ones that come to us from absolutely the middle of nowhere. They’re the ones that are often I think, gonna provide us with the most flexibility, the most freedom, the most success or any other number of things, because they’re the ones that are coming from our subconscious in a mind in a time of wrath. You
David Ralph [41:30]
know, my wife. I’ll tell you why it’s so dark in our bedroom in the morning, Stevie Wonder could see better. That’s how dark it is. Yeah, I have to stumble around reaching out trying to sort of not buy into them. I’ll tell you a story. Actually, this proves how dark it is. And I don’t know why I’m going to share this with you. But I’ve already started so it’s gonna come out. But a few years back we used to sort of um, I used to get up a lot earlier than my wife and I wasn’t allowed to have a light on as I say he’s a lot better now because we get up at the same time but In these days, I used to go off to London and walk down to the station get on the train, and Ben come back, dark and dark. It was dark when I went out and don’t when I came back, and this one day, I started walking down to the station at a brisk pace. And as I was walking down there, I thought, I don’t know I’m gonna be kind of restricted in betrayals area, I feel a bit tight, where things should be allowed to, to be free and to run wild. And anyway, I got onto the train and as I sat down, it really felt like it was being bunched up, and I was I was being strangled. I was being strangled down there. So far. With this, I must have put my my boxes on back to front or something. I don’t know. Something’s a bit weird. So when I got into work, I went straight to the men’s toilets. And I took my belt off and I unzipped my trousers and I looked down and I thought, I don’t recognise these. I’d only gone and put a pair of knickers on. I had to wear her knickers the whole day and To be honest, it was very uncomfortable, but I was finally turned on as well. But the whole day I had to wear those knickers. Amy, and that is because my wife is she’s dominant. She’s dominant in the bedroom when it comes to having the light on.
Amy Mewborn [43:14]
That is such a good story. I was expecting you to say that you had gotten there and you pulled your pants down and found that you had like a pair of her pantyhose or something in there as well. But yeah, that’s that’s hilarious.
David Ralph [43:28]
Now, it wasn’t an extra package. I went through the whole the whole whole. I went the whole hog. I wrapped it up like it shouldn’t be wrapped up. And Anyway, I digress. Even though the next day I went with a thought Fallout bit suspended bells and everything. Let’s have a word with Steve Jobs. Word. I’m lost. I’m lost. I’ve lost control to the show. Let’s listen to the words of Steve Jobs because he is a man who really I don’t know how I’ve gone from cross dressing to Steve Jobs but he’s got something to say. worth listening to every single day to Again, here’s Steve,
Steve Jobs [44:01]
of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [44:35]
So when you listen to those words, delay apply to your own life. Can you see how your life has joined up?
Amy Mewborn [44:43]
I love Love, love that statement. I think that it is so accurate. We always say that hindsight is 2020. And you know if you knew then what you know now you would do this differently and I don’t know that necessary. Sara Lee, there are a tonne of things that a lot of us would actually choose to do differently because I think a lot of times, those things that we’ve done in the past and the decisions we’ve made are genuinely what brought us to where we are today. But I can definitely say that there are things that maybe I wish I had gone and taken an opportunity or I’d gone and done an experience or something. For me. I feel very fortunate. I my parents are still alive. I have two amazing siblings. I am surrounded with amazing business owners and I believe that so much of joining up your dots is a lot about surrounding yourself with people that will help you see what you’re often missing. And so, things like being on a podcast like this or having a business coach or having a mastermind group. So often, I get so inundated With the stuff in my business, and I have a mastermind group that has been together for a couple of years, and I would say that they have often given me the best advice about my dots, because they’ve seen where I’ve been over the past couple of years. And they’ve seen maybe where I’ve missed an opportunity, or where if I’m coming in, and I say, I have the same problem today that I had a year and a half ago. That’s a problem. And I need to step back and evaluate that. But I may not often see it, and it’s why it’s so important that we surround ourselves with people that will help us identify those things as we’re going through them.
David Ralph [46:39]
So you have a big moment, that kind of moment that really cemented how you got to where you are. So you’ve got a rocking and rolling business. You’ve got clients coming to you you’ve got a business that is on your terms, you can you can go off and go to Knott’s Berry Farm and sort of enjoy yourself. You’ve been This silky trousers behind? How have you done? It wasn’t a moment.
Amy Mewborn [47:05]
Oh, my goodness, one big dot What a question. I would say that probably it was in sitting down and really writing a marketing plan. I think that so often when we start a new business or we’re building our business, as entrepreneurs, we kind of are like, bucking rules, and we’re trying so hard to be footloose and fancy free, that we often just kind of fly by the seat of our pants. And as soon as I sit down and really will write a marketing plan, or a marketing schedule or any other number of things, so I have a roadmap to follow. That’s when all of a sudden the dots start to make sense, because otherwise we’re just putting them on a bunch of pieces of paper. And then you look and you’re like, well, I don’t really know what this means. But when you sit down and you start to map it out, all of a sudden, I think everything’s a lot clearer. And
David Ralph [48:08]
do you think that’s the same for everyone? Or do you really have had gone through the journey to be able to come up with an answer like that?
Amy Mewborn [48:18]
Oh, I certainly think that the answer is different than it would have been had I not gone through the journey. But I do believe that every single person needs to have some type of plan, because it’s kind of like Stephen Covey, when he’s talking about climbing up the ladder, and then eventually finding out that you have the ladder on the wrong wall. You know, there’s nothing like spending years and years of your life doing something that you think is the right thing. And then one day looking back and being like, Oh, my gosh, I missed out on everything I wanted to do. And if you don’t have a plan, then you’re basically just kind of being taken with the wind and you’re never going to really control where you’re going.
David Ralph [48:58]
We all do that, don’t we? We all go with two jobs that aren’t kind of really what we want to do. But within those jobs, there’s stuff to learn. It’s all leanings, there’s no wasted time really, even if you’re in a job that has no sort of obvious connection to where you want to go in your life. It’s like Join Up Dots here, I, I use so much, but I gained from other jobs that had nothing to do with podcasting or creating an online presence. But he kind of joins somehow. So I do think everybody needs to realise but yeah, you might end up on the wrong ladder. But on every rung there’s learnings, but kind of make it and avoid ledger as well.
Amy Mewborn [49:38]
Well, that’s often why we’re so much wiser as we get older is, it’s not that we’re older, it’s that we’ve had so many more experiences, and we can look at everything with a completely different perspective than when you’re looking at it envisioning how it’s gonna go.
David Ralph [49:53]
Yeah, absolutely. Well, this is the end of the show. And this is the bit we’ve been building up to that we like to call it sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Amy, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because we’re going to play the theme. And when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [50:22]
We go with the best bit of
Unknown Speaker [50:25]
the show.
Amy Mewborn [50:38]
So I would go back to age 17. And I would say hi, Amy, this is your future Amy. And I would be getting ready to go into college. And I would say that the lesson that I would really want to tell myself is that college is really that experience where you are getting to test out who you are. who you want to be, and what you’re going to do to get there. And I think that so often, I know in my case, I was trained to go from point A to point B. And I think that college is that opportunity to step back and kind of be a partial adult with that support system and that safety net that you have as a kid. And we don’t necessarily know how we’re going to end up. But we do know that that’s your chance to kind of experience who you are at 17 years old, you often don’t know what, what you want to be for the rest of your life. And we’re choosing majors. And we’re doing all of these things that make decisions for who we’re going to be at 50. So, take the chance. Get to know all kinds of different people travel the world. take classes in things that are not your major because you’re going to find out that you love things that you didn’t know that you loved, and you’ll be shocked. I think often how many experiences will shape who you become later in life,
David Ralph [52:06]
Amy, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you
Amy Mewborn [52:10]
so they can reach me on my website, amymewborn.com you can reach me on social media same way and everything’s Amy Mewborn
David Ralph [52:19]
nice and easy. And we will have all the links on the show notes. Amy, thank you so much for being with us today and joining up those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Amy bone. Thank you so much.
Amy Mewborn [52:39]
Thank you, David. This was an absolute joy.
David Ralph [52:43]
So Amy Mewborn so she got herself in a position that she so didn’t want to let people down. But she made herself ill ended up in hospital which isn’t a good place to be but it was a starting point to everything that she’s achieved since and she has moved on to a point where it’s coming together at a rate of knots, you take the leap, and the leap is scary. But then you look back on it anything actually, it wasn’t that scary. It was just it was uncomfortable for me at the time. And I didn’t have all the answers. But nobody has all the answers. You just have to try things and some things work. Some things don’t. And certainly, she has moved past the state of leaving her husband with a load of soggy trousers. I don’t know how he explained that to his mates, to a point where she is loving her life. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what I’m doing. And you guys will do too. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Join Up Dots. Thank you so much for being here. Otherwise, I’ll just be talking to myself and the guest. And I’m going to be back very, very shortly with some more episodes because it’s my job. That’s what I have to do. I have to deliver it to you. And I love every second of it. Cheers. See ya. All right, when we’re young,
Outro [53:51]
we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be but somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. join up speeches amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph
