Welcome to the Join Up Dots Business Coaching Podcast with Dana Wilde
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Introducing Dana Wilde
Dana Wilde is my guest today, on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
She is a lady who came into my life like a shot of drug laced expresso and is the kind of person we all need everyday.
She is hugely positive, 100% focused on her audience and quite simply carrying around the biggest smile you will ever see in your life.
She is a brain trainer, speaker, host, and the bestselling author of Train Your Brain, and with nearly 100,000 followers in 68 countries, she is the go to expert at training brains and changing lives.
Now you might be wondering, how do you train a brain?
Well when our guest began her direct-sales business, she realized that education for entrepreneurs typically consisted of endless “how-to” explanations: how to market, how to pick up the phone, how to manage your time, how to increase bookings or sales.
There always seemed to be a new system to learn, a new surefire method or cutting-edge technique for entrepreneurs to master.
How The Dots Joined Up For Dana Wilde
In an effort to teach her team members a better and easier way, she instead went a different route and created Train Your Brain, a tested and proven system combining elements of both mindset and action . . . or as she likes to call it, Intentional Action.
Using the skills of Train Your Brain you will find that mindset can be “taught” and that learning simple mindset strategies not only allows you to understand how the brain works but also shows you how easy it is to change your thinking and, as a result, change your outcomes.
Train Your Brain, with its twenty easy-to-implement “Mindware Experiments,” gives you all the necessary tools needed to get off . . . and stay off . . . the Cycle of Perpetual Sameness, so you can transform your life and grow your business in record time!
And believe me I know her quite well, and it is amazing how much she does, how much she achieves and how she remains smiling even when things go a bit off track.
And is a raw food wannabe who can’t shake nachos.
So is it as simple as saying, “If we always do what we have always done, then we will always get what we have always got”?
And with so much “take Action” advice in the world today, are there any bits that she would grasp to her chest and say “Actually this one is a keeper?”
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Dana Wilde.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Dana Wilde such as:
Why she believes that we shouldn’t follow the advice of others who state “Go after the fear”
We discuss how the technicalities of building an online business should not stop anyone from getting going. There are tools for everything.
Dana reveals why mindset is so powerful and how we can all train ourselves to use this astonishing gift.
Dana shares the four step process to retraining your brain starting today. Hugely powerful stuff.
How To Connect With Dana Wilde
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transcription Of Dana Wilde Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:21]
Yes. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning and welcome to join up dots. I’ll tell you what, sometimes you have a guest that comes on and you kind of think what however they’ve been on before if I must have been on I must have spoken to this lady 100 times Why is she not been on the show? I don’t know. But she isn’t lady came into my life, like a shot of drug laced espresso, and is the kind of person we all need every day. She’s hugely positive 100% focused on the audience and quite simply carrying around the biggest smile you ever see in your life. She’s a brain trainer, Speaker host and the best selling author of train your brain. With nearly 100,000 followers in 68 countries get her She is the go to expert at training brains and changing lives. Now, you might be wondering, how do you train a brain? Well, when our guests began her direct sales business, she realized that education for entrepreneurs typically consisted of endless how to explanations, how to market, how to pick up the phone, and how to manage your time how to increase bookings or sales. And there always seem to be a new system to learn a new car fire method of cutting edge techniques for entrepreneurs to master. Now in an effort because she didn’t like this, she’s a bit of a maverick. In an effort to teach her team members a better and easier way. She instead went a different route and created train your brain a tested and proven system combining elements of both mindset and action or as she likes to call it intentional action. Now, using the skills to train your brain you’ll find that mindset can be taught about learning simple mindset strategies not only allows you to understand how the brain works, but also show How easy is to change your thinking. And as a result, change your outcomes when it Welcome my wife, who knows, but I’m going to try it out. Now train your brain with its 20 easy to implement mind where experiments gives you all the necessary tools needed to get off and stay off the cycle of perpetual sameness. So you can transform your life and grow your business in record time. And believe me, I know her quite well. In fact, I already know quite well, and it’s amazing how much she does, how much she achieved, and how she remains smiling. Even when things go a bit off track, like doing Facebook live with her. I won’t mention that on the show, but we tried it a few times. Now, when she’s not unraveling, unraveling the mysteries of the brain. She’s a passionate about helping animals playing baritone ukulele, practicing Kundalini Yoga and creating raw food dishes. It’s getting bizarre and bizarre, and is a war food wannabe who can’t shake nachos. So it’s as simple as saying if we always do what we’ve always done, then we’ll always get what we’ve always got. And we’ve so much take action advice in the world today. Are there any bits that she would glass to her chest and say, actually, this one is a keeper? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start joining up with the one and only my friend Dana. Wow. How are you?
Dana Wilde [3:18]
The crowd goes wild. I love it. David Ralph, you are one of a kind. You are amazing and such a joy. And not only one of my favorite podcast hosts, but one of my favorite. It actually, let me change it. You are my single favorite podcast teacher in the entire world.
David Ralph [3:35]
You’re kind you’re coming, but I was just a small child when I came into your life and you groomed me and you you changed me. You turned me into a man Dana and I like to thank you from afar. Well, I feel very maternal and like an old woman. So thank you very much. I wasn’t going that way. the fault of an old woman I need that kind of thing in my life. I need glamour I need and you are you know cutting to the chase. You never stopped smiling. Do you? You know, if I didn’t know you for who you are, I would put you a slightly mad because you smile all the time. Are you always smile? Yeah, you always a naturally happy person?
Dana Wilde [4:12]
Well, you know, that’s actually a good question was I naturally happy you know, they’ve got this study now where they say people have a natural propensity towards optimism and I probably am one of those people. But I think learning how to trade my brain and learning the you know that your brain is just a big tool that you get to use has really helped a lot and making it easy, easy to just feel good and be happy. A lot of the time. Now, does that mean I don’t get angry at least once a day? And usually technology? Yes, of course. You know, that’s what we signed up for. We signed up for the ride of like the full experience of our emotions, but you know, it’s nice to feel good.
David Ralph [4:55]
So So are you like my wife who I will generally walk into the room and she’ll be in front of laptop saying, why is it doing this? Why is it doing this? I didn’t press that button. I are you like that? Or did I rebel against you?
Dana Wilde [5:09]
Actually, that’s my man. I’m the one who’s supposed to be like the one who knows what they’re doing I technology here, but I think that’s why it gets you so angry because you go like, Okay, I know I’m doing this. All right. Why is this not working?
Did somebody update something?
David Ralph [5:27]
Yeah, Bill Gates. He does it all the time. He’s he’s a bit bit of a swine ears now. So I’m going on a different angle, because I wasn’t expecting to talk about this, but I’m going to talk about it anyway. A lot of people out there will be listening to the show kind of thinking but anybody that creates an online platform has to be some kind of technical wizard. To have a podcast you need to really know the ins and outs of everything is really complicated. How simple is it in your view nowadays with the tools that anybody to create an online platform?
Dana Wilde [6:02]
It’s super simple. But you know what David you probably don’t even realize it but you actually just sit set me up for a really good opportunity to talk about why a train your brain is so important, especially to entrepreneurs and building a business. Do you mind if I just digress for a second
David Ralph [6:19]
you go for it, you go for as long as you want. And I’m gonna go out and mow the lawn. I’ll come back. What
Dana Wilde [6:23]
do you do? I’ll text you when I’m ready for you to come back and God so so here’s the thing. You know, we live in a world that’s really noisy. And as entrepreneurs when we get online when I first started, I knew just absolutely nothing about the online world. And it wasn’t that long ago. I mean, I literally, here’s how I don’t even know if people identify with how how bad this is. But I didn’t even know I should build a WordPress site. So I went out and I taught myself Juma. And I built my first website is shoe Mullah, which I’m sure nobody has heard of, except for a designer. But it was a literally like such a mystery to me how everything work. And so the key the reason why train your brain is so powerful. The reason why mindset so powerful is that most of the world is telling you that action is what makes you successful. And I know that’s almost blasphemy to say that action is not what makes you successful in the entrepreneurial world. The reason why, and I’ll give you all sorts of you know, backup on that, if you want to talk about it, I’d love to talk about that. But the reason why mindset is so essential is that this noisy world is telling us, you have to be a live streamer, or you have to be good at technology, or you have to build a funnel or if you’re offline, sometimes they’re saying like you have to make phone calls, or you should be networking, or why don’t you have joint venture partners. And what happens is, it’s not that you don’t know technology, that’s the issue. The issue is that you think, think but not knowing technology, is the thing that’s not bringing you success. And we can go down this wormhole if you like because I’m telling you, this will this will shift everybody, I don’t care if you’ve got skill issues like technology, or you don’t know how to build a funnel, or you don’t know how to talk to people. Or if you have got mindset issues like you’re procrastinator, you’re disorganized, you don’t have to change a thing about yourself right now in this very second, whatever, whoever you are in the world, you can be wildly successful.
David Ralph [8:28]
I love that. I do love that. Because it’s so true in so many regards. And the thing that has come out time and time again, diner in join up dots is that generally, people are successful, because of one thing is not all the other stuff is just the one the thing that they do really, really well. And if you can become an absolute expert, somebody said this to me on my show, so I’m paraphrasing, but I think it’s good, you become the category of one. And if you become the category of one over wealth and stuff comes to you, it becomes sort of effortlessly.
Dana Wilde [9:01]
Yeah, exactly. We have a phrase over at the minute where where people always say like, Oh, God, if I have another nickel, the other actually, for somebody who says get out of your comfort zone, my head’s gonna explode. Because we say, get into your comfort zone. Don’t Don’t, don’t go out and find a bunch of stuff that you’re afraid of, and go into that No, do the stuff that you absolutely love. And that’s what’s going to make you successful. And with regards to action, you know, if you think about it, if you line up 100 people who are wildly successful against the wall, all in different industries, you say what do you do to be successful, they’re going to give you 100 different answers, some people are going to love social media, some are going to hate it, some are going to love networking, some are going to hate it. But the one thing that they will all have in common is that they will all think that they have an expectation for success, they will all think differently than the person who has is not yet successful. And so this is why I mean, mindset matters most. The reason we call it intentional action is we say if you feel good, and you get your mindset right first, then you can almost do anything, we I’m not saying sit in the room and meditate. But I’m saying after you feel good, you know, we’ve had that experience, most of us where you leave an event you’re pumped up and it’s like, man, whatever you do, it just turns to gold. Well, that’s because you’re in that emotional state. So so that’s what we help you do is keep you in that emotional state. And then go study with David Ralph and learn how to podcast and be positive and be fired up, and you’re going to just fly. And now the battle.
David Ralph [10:33]
This interests me and what I love about join up dots is it’s never the conversation, but I’m expecting to get it goes in a totally different way. Now, I have spoken to nearly 1000 people, and I would say I would say 90% always say if you go after the fear that’s pointing the way, that’s the growth. And you are in such a small category here. But I can’t even give you the figures say 10% of somebody that says no stay where you’re most comfortable. So staying where you’re most comfortable? How does it allow you to actually develop different skills? Or do you not need those?
Dana Wilde [11:11]
No, I’m glad you asked that. So think of it this way. First of all, I want to give a foundational piece. And in fact, you don’t even need to buy the book train your brain because this piece I’m going to give you this is the whole book right here. Okay. Vicki, I know I Bell right. So the key thing is, every single one of us have inside of our brains a part of the brain called a particular activating system. And this is the piece that is vital in creating our reality. Why is that? Because the particular activating system is like a little matchmaker that lives in your head. And it spends all day every day listening to what you’re talking about what you’re thinking about. And then it sifts through all this mucky muck, like right now in this second, wherever you’re sitting, look around your room, your car, and imagine all of the pieces of sensation and information that are around you, you know, colors and sounds and smells and all this stuff. Well, we would go crazy if we had to process that. So we don’t the particular activating system processes it, whatever you’re thinking about whatever you’re talking about, it brings onto your radar. So if you know you’ve had the experience of looking for a new car, and maybe it’s like, gosh, you know, I see that car everywhere, or maybe your partner just got pregnant or is thinking getting pregnant or you did you see babies or pregnant women everywhere. This is the particular activating system, but most people don’t use it. They run around on automatic pilot. This is why I called my business the mind aware rather than the mind happy? Because the mind awareness says where am I at right now? What am I saying? You know, what am I thinking? That is getting me the results that I’m getting? Do I want my particular activating system to keep matching this up? So if you think about it, and a little bit of additional brain science, when you’re feeling good, this points more towards your question. When you’re feeling good. When you’re feeling positive, the creative pathways in your brain open up and you literally get access to more ideas. And so and think about it when you’re feeling good. You feel like taking action, you’re curious about taking action, you’re interested in taking action. When you’re feeling good. You get engaged with people better, you actually want to talk to people and they like you better to you get better results. And all of us have been in that that flow where you’re like, wow, just magic seems to happen. And you’re creating something and it feels good. Well, if you can make being aware, and intentionally creating a positive emotional state, your number one stop, then what happens is you do the things that you love to do, but you naturally get curious about new things. So I may not be good at writing, or, you know, building websites or whatever. But when I’m feeling good, I’m in more of that curious space where I’m like, you know what, I think I’m going to take a crack at Claudia set up this live stream, right? When you’re feeling frustrated, or you’re trying to pound through. You don’t have that natural curiosity and everything’s a chore and frankly, you’re bringing the worst you to the job.
David Ralph [14:22]
Oh, this is fascinating stuff, isn’t it? you’re you’re you’re you’re surprisingly clever. Dinah so when I have to say the word surprising me. Um, so where did you study all this? Are you a professor? Are you sort of? Well, at some mad scientists were you
Dana Wilde [14:39]
know, so glad you asked that. Because I think I’ve been actually thinking about rebranding David it’s kind of funny, because you know, everybody out there teaching happiness and Brain Stuff. They’re all these, like Harvard scholars who are a part of research studies, and I’m a high school graduate. And I when I came from a very working class background, single mother, and I went straight right into the workforce worked in some little cubicle job for a major corporation in the United States and was miserable. And then at age 19, one of the benefits of the cubicle job was that for some reason, and they were crazy to do it, but they said, we’re going to put all of you through a 40 hour training on how the brain works. And so I studied with a guy called Lou Tice, he was from Seattle, he passed recently, and learn this. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. And so I immediately quit the cubicle job. I left I’m like, thank you for the training. Sorry, it went this way. But I’m out of here. And I left and I just, you know, started living the life the way I wanted to, because I suddenly figured out that my brain was creating everything.
David Ralph [15:49]
I find this astonishing because we went on a course in in the United Kingdom, I was with a company. And they did it was the personal excellence plan p p, they sent us to a big manor house in Oxford. And it was really posh, really amazing. It was. And people basically just went there and got drunk and had sex with people that that basically was the whole course. But they had an American company that was so kind of positive and gung ho. But people were coming back from the course and just quitting and going, I can do better than this. And I could go, so they toned it down. And their key key message was every decision you make good or bad, is something that will lead you to somewhere. But it doesn’t have to be defining. Now, at my core, I totally got that. totally understood. But but it still took me 10 years to do anything about it, even though I could have made a decision to not have sex with that person. But I’m just move on to something else. It was a good place to be data, it really was, but just sort of moved to where you want to be by making a decision decision decision. What Why do people not grasp that concept?
Dana Wilde [17:01]
Well, and you know what, I, I love this idea of making decisions. And it’s awesome. And I think that the backup that people don’t give with it, the reason I think people don’t grasp that concept concept is because we make decisions all the time that we don’t follow through on, you know, I’m going to quit drinking tomorrow, I’m going to stop eating sugar or whatever I’ve made the decision, I’m going to stop eating sugar and decisions are powerful. without a shadow of a doubt, we teach that as well over, you know, the mind aware. But I think the important thing is that after you make that decision, you have to have a belief that you can accomplish it. And how do you get the belief that you can accomplish it, you get it by thinking in your own head. So I was just talking about the particular activating system a second ago and the whole train your brain program, entire thing? Here it is, it’s four steps. Step one, be aware, what am I thinking about? What am I feeling about? What am I talking about right now step to make the decision is this what I want my particular activating system the match, so people are on automatic pilot, and they may be thinking something like, you know, I can’t get a traction on iTunes, or they might be thinking like I all my clients are broke, you know, why can I attract any clients that are have got any money. And what they don’t realize is, every time they have that thought their brain, their particular activating system says this is important to you. You’re thinking about this a lot. So we’re going to be on the lookout for more broke clients for you. And just like you see a car that you just bought, or a pregnant woman or the baby. Now your brains on the lookout for broke clients? Well, once you figure that out, you quit thinking that way and you quit talking that way. So step three of the program, is find a way to talk about the current situation in a way that feels good. And step four is to feel good. So all the work is in Step three, right? How do I talk about this current situation that I’m hating that I want to change in the world
way that feels better or feels good. Because if you can do that, that’s when you start getting the particular activating system working on your behalf. And here’s the good news. If you can do that for as little as 72 hours, you start to see the evidence that it’s working, it started, things start to come on your radar that lets you know like, Oh my gosh, this is me priming my particular activating system. So, so decisions are powerful, but I think the reason why people don’t follow through on decisions is because they make a decision, they have a little setback, and then they focus on the setback. And now they get more. Let’s play some words now and then we’re going to jump back into this because he’s really hugely powerful. He’s Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [19:41]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [20:07]
Now I’m gonna tell a little story about myself diner because it’s my show, and I’m in control of my microphone so I can do what I want. But before I launched join up dots, I was basically not terrified. But I was thinking, Why me? Who am I to do is why is anyone going to be listening who’s going to come to the show, it was just full of doubts and insecurities. So I used to stand there in the mirror, brushing my teeth, and I used to have this phrase, really, that was, David,
if you do the podcast, it will grow into something, it will be the biggest show in the end. And I just had like this mantra that I used to go. And after a while I stopped doing it. But I started feeling it. And so I don’t actually now I don’t even care if the show becomes the biggest now because it’s doing very, very well. And I got to a point where my my passions for global domination have moved into different areas. So I’m not sort of pressurized in that way. But there was a certainly a switch when the words that I was saying to myself became feelings. And once the feelings came along, then that started to really affect the success of my show. It’s pretty much your fourth step, isn’t it?
Dana Wilde [21:20]
Yeah. And actually, you’re still doing it, you you just maybe are not doing it. So consciously, because listen to what you just said, what you just said is, you know, we’re doing well, I’m fine. I don’t have to work at us doing well. Now. It’s nice. It’s great. You know, and so you keep recreating that, you know, you are training your brain, all of us are training our brain 24 hours a day, seven days a week, some of us are just doing it consciously or unconsciously. And that’s the beauty of is that you get to choose what you want to do. And on you know, not everybody is seeking world domination, myself included. You know, I know very specifically what I want from my life and so to you. And you’re you’re creating that for yourself through your thoughts. And I think part of the things with the mantra is we do mantras as well and we teach monetarism positive affirmations some people would call them because they’re very foundational and understanding how the brain works. Well, one of the things that we’ve come to realize is that a lot of times people feel like they’re lying to themselves when they say those things. And they’re not willing to take that leap of faith like you did. With regards to like, I’m just going to say this, and it’s going to figure itself out. And so it almost becomes a feel bad for them to be saying the mantras. And so we’ve got some cheats that are really, really good. I’d be happy to give you one of them right now if you like
David Ralph [22:38]
Yeah, that would be great. You share it.
Dana Wilde [22:40]
Well, one of the favorite cheat sheets is the word but because the word but negates everything before it and I don’t know if it became popular in the UK. But here in the US it became really popular to get rid of the word but all together and only start using and, you know, and everybody was all over the I hate but no pun intended the bandwagon, you know, but the word but is powerful because it negates everything that comes before it. It actually affirms everything that comes after it. So let’s say you are shy. And so you’re afraid like in our world, extroverts are the ones that get all the credit. And they are the ones that build the businesses and all this stuff. And you’re thinking, How can I be successful if I’m shy, so your brain, you might be unintentionally thinking things like I don’t know if I can be successful, because I’m shy, or I’m probably too introverted, to be really big in the world, or I’m too shy to, you know, be a leader for us or all of these things. So you keep reinforcing that. But if you could use the word, but you know, it’s not like you’re going to walk around now and start going like, Oh, I’m an extrovert. I’m an extrovert, you know, it’s not a positive mantra, you’re not going to believe it. So what we recommend one of the small, you know, we have, we have many of these transitional ones, but this is the easiest one everybody can implement now is to start keeping, keep yourself, keep who you are, keep your personality. I’m shy. But people like my style. I’m shy, but people like to work with me. I’m shy, but I’m gaining a lot of traction. I’m shy, but clients like who I am. I’m shy, but my business is growing by leaps and bounds. I’m shy, but my style works for me, you know, on and on. Reinforcing over and over again that I am who I am. But I’m still wildly successful, and you can swap out the word procrastinator, bad at technology, disorganized anything for shy there.
David Ralph [24:30]
I had a life coach on the show one of these first episodes, and I made a fatal mistake of saying the word should. And God she went for me she went to me big time. And I’m always very aware that those words those kind of link words that can change their meaning into different areas. Are you aware of them in your own speech now, because of your training? Are you do you use the word by a mentor night smack yourself?
Dana Wilde [24:57]
Yeah, I try. You know, I try I catch myself all time. And most the time because I’m live so often, everybody gets to witness me correcting myself. You know, because it comes out. There you go. Wait, that wasn’t what I wanted to say. Let me say that a different way. You know, so so it is it becomes a game and it becomes fun. Because you get to pick and choose, you know, you can decide. For years, I said I wasn’t a morning person, but I didn’t want to be a morning person. So who cares if I keep saying I’m a morning person, or if I’ve, you know, got trouble with technology. I mean, I’m not trying to be perfect. I’m trying to live the most joyous life that I can live Delta ham, but I’ve been dealt in the you know, the biggest way that I can?
David Ralph [25:40]
What fascinates me and intrigues me with everyone that comes across is this this bridge that I have to cross and I think it’s the hardest thing and it links into join up dots it links up into the Jim Carrey speech. But it’s this business about going you’ve got to go for what you love. But then how do you make money from it? And that seems to be be the biggest sort of stumbling block people know what they love more often than not, but how did they actually sort of bring it together? How did you do that? How did you go from this, this cubicle to thinking Hang on, this is a good idea to actually being the global success that you are?
Dana Wilde [26:16]
Well, for me, it was really just awareness. And I took it as soon as I learned about this brain, I knew like, Okay, if whatever I think about I get, and I used it for a long time, just as a parlor game, like I spent 10 years living out of a backpack, you know, traveling mostly in Asia, you know, lived in Saigon, and you know, Japan and Hong Kong and all these different places. And I would use it to like, Oh, I really could use a cart right now to put my backpack on and manifesting cards so that I could wheel my stuff around the airport. But once I I, in hindsight, which is, of course is the whole point of the join up dots message, in hindsight, what I realized is that when I was building, both of the businesses that I built to the million dollar level, first my direct sales business, and then the mind where I had a high expectation for success. You know, I went into it, knowing that I was going to be successful. And so some people in their trainings, they would call me probably like a natural, you know, where a natural propensity to think things. But what I wanted to do when I started understanding the brain is I didn’t want to just be a natural, I wanted to kind of document how my thinking changed as I progressed through different levels of success. And so what happens now is that most people are telling the story to themselves. I really love this, but I can’t make a living at it. You know, I really love this, but there’s no money in it. And so what I say is flip that but, you know, if you’re saying not making money at something, that’s okay, that’s reality. I’m not telling you to lie to yourself or to do a mantra that feels bad, said, I’m not making money at this now. But I love it. I’m not I haven’t figured out how to monetize yet. But I’m on my way, but I know I will. But I’m feeling you know, hopeful. Because people have this idea that when you’re a positive thinker, you’re just walking around blissed out all day, you know, in ecstasy, but the reality is, we all live in the real world. And most entrepreneurs Pong between frustration, hope, frustration, hope, frustration, hope, frustration, hope. And what I’m trying to tell you to do is you don’t have to be blissed out or have high expectation or knowing like I did, but if you can be consistently more hopeful, on a day to day basis, your brain will start to open those creative pathways, and you will start to move yourself automatically up the emotional scale. Does that make sense? Do I did I even answer your question David sometimes I just think like, I’m just,
David Ralph [28:54]
you answered it about the trouble with your question or your answers is, I am so intrigued by the I get three or four other questions on there. So when you’re doing this, you’re walking around and you’re not in a state of bliss, you’re doing this, you’re making decisions, and you’ve taken action, and you’re finding your comfort zone, and you’re you’re working towards it? Did you then have to go? I can’t do this on my own. I need a team around me or did you just plow through because that seems to be another bridge as well, especially in the bootstrapping stage when people are trying to get a bit of cash here and a better cash bear, but they don’t actually want to invest in a team, even though it could help them move forward.
Dana Wilde [29:35]
Yeah, yeah. It’s it’s a personal choice. I think with regards to having a team, I now have one person who, you know, I’m the type of person like, I think everything’s fun and interesting. So I tend to say yes to everything. Like Hi, can you come spend an hour with me training my dog? How to not? You know, pee on the carpet? Can you train is Brian Oh, yes, I’ll do that. You know. So I have like one person. My one verses really kind of just to protect me from myself, like, very big keep me from saying yes to everything that comes along. And then I have stuff that I farm out that I’m just I even stuff maybe I kind of like to do, but I know it’s not the best use of my time. So for example, there are people who are better at graphics than me. So I do I send out some peace mill, things like that. But and I know you must be getting bored with this answer. But if you think about it, every time you love, you think you’re playing tennis, you’re loving me these nice loves. Every time somebody has a feeling like I’m stressed out, I am stressed out, I can’t do all this I need a team, what they’re really doing is they’re creating a story for themselves that their particular activating system is matching up. That sounds like I’m not going to be successful unless I have a team. Because we all read Tim Ferriss book, and oh my gosh, there’s no way that I can be successful unless I’m, I’ve got a bunch of people around me doing all this stuff. And the We have a saying, I think you’re going to actually quite like it. And the saying is the the problem is not the problem. The problem is that you keep thinking and talking about the problem. So the problem is not that you have a team or the problem is not that you have a team and it’s too big to manage. The problem is that you keep talking about it, and you keep thinking about it, that it’s a problem, right? So So whether you have a team or whether you don’t make that the reason you’re successful, you know, so if you don’t have a team make the decision that you don’t need the team because you’re going to be successful doing the one thing and it’s Instagram, and that’s your thing, and you became the next star on, you know, Vine, or whatever the latest thing is, whatever your thing is, you can do it and you can be successful. If you’re telling the right story about it. You know, it’s up to you. You know, David, I know sometimes I get really passionate about this. But we live in a world where people care about, you know, the car they drive, or the clothes they wear, the neighborhood they live in, or the food they put into their bodies, but nobody is paying attention to the thoughts that they’re thinking in their heads. And that is more important than any of that.
David Ralph [32:10]
One of the things I’m doing at the moment, but you know, I don’t know if you think this is lunacy. But at my heart, it feels totally right. totally right. Now, when I was in corporate land, people used to say to me, oh, you gotta have a mobile phone so we can connect with you. And I say, No, I’m not having one. And I would go well, what happens if there’s an emergency when there’s never going to be an emergency, and you’re not going to connect with me. And it’s becoming my sort of badge of honor. And once I started join up dots I kind of opened the doors, to being on Facebook, to being on social media being all those kind of stuff. And I’m now stripping it down one step at a time. Because I’ve got this feeling that by just centralizing into one area that people can get hold of me and I can control the quality of everything’s going to be better instead of being all over the shop. Have you felt the same? sighing? For simplicity?
Dana Wilde [33:03]
Yeah, yeah, I, you, you’re singing my song. Now. It’s not for everybody. You know, some people, I have a friend. She’s got like five different businesses, she’s running all of them really well, she loves it. She can’t wait to get more stimulation. You know, it’s all about like, how much can I do? Do do. But I’m, I’m very much the same way. I’m like, Okay, seriously, my mantra is like, how much money can I make doing as absolute little as possible? And so everything becomes, like an experiment of like, what can I kill this entire program and still make the same money? Or can I stop doing this entire, you know, Bank of task and still make the same money? And, of course, why? Because I think I can. And so it becomes, it’s almost like, entertaining, I see how people end up, you know, you look at somebody like a Steve Jobs, or bill gates are an Oprah Winfrey, and they’re making so much money. And I asked myself all are they really working? that much harder than anybody else? You know, are they? Or are they just doing different things. And I’m starting to come to realize more and more, and we preach this a lot over on the mind aware show that we teach is that when you are walking your dog and feeling good, you are building your business, when you are listening to music, and jamming in your car, you are building your business, because in those moments when you’re feeling good, and those creative pathways are open, that’s when the really good ideas come that’s when the ideas come that allow you to shut down whole sections of your business because you figured out a good way to make that same amount of money with one little thing.
David Ralph [34:44]
I love this. I do love this because it is so powerful. It really is. But we have to go through this journey, don’t we? I think we do have to go through the the you know, the burnout, there’s long hours, the panic, the the prostitution, I always say you were at that beginning where you basically do anything for money. And somebody says, Oh, yeah, can you? Yeah, I can do that. I can do images I can do this summer. But then once you get to a point, you realize it’s not worth it. And the money isn’t that important. But you clear the decks and you come back with clarity. And I went off to the Caribbean for 10 days, because my daughter was getting married out there. And I had no connectivity at all, I was totally off the grid. And I had some ideas, which was so easy to implement. I couldn’t quite understand why I hadn’t bought them before. And when I came back, I thought to myself, this just seems too stupidly easy. Why? Why was this not part of the plan? And it was simply because I wasn’t allowing my brain to rest and come up with it. Your brain has to not just be mind aware. But it needs to be kind of protected, doesn’t it? Well, while I’m rambling on about brains, actually, what do you think about this thing, because I’ve been reading a lot about it. But the gut is the second brain. And the gut is actually more powerful and controls the feelings emotions more than the brain that controls the functions, but the gut actually controls the feelings. Do you know much about that?
Dana Wilde [36:06]
Well, I do like the trifecta, of course of the mind, the heart and the gut. And I think that’s great. And I would never ever say one is better or worse than the other as I know, some people are doing, you know, if you read them the work of Dr. Bruce Lipton, he’s got some really interesting things. He’s got the book called The Biology of Belief. And do you I don’t know if you know of him. But for the benefit of anybody who might not know him. This is a guy who was a research, Dr. The key actually taught doctors in a medical institution and university a tenured professor, who he was teaching, you know, Western doctors before they went off to go practice on people. And he was doing this research that he figured out something that he was like, Oh, my gosh, this is so against everything, we know that I have to just quit, quit my tenured position and write this book. And what he discovered is that actually, every cell in our body has a little brain on it, that all of the cells in our body are unified in like, you know, communicating with each other, and moving us forward. And so I think we’re just at the tip of the iceberg. And if you think up until 15 years ago, we couldn’t even really see a brain and get any useful information. It wasn’t until we start getting the technology to be able to, you know, MRIs and all of this stuff to be able to see the activity that was going on, that I can’t wait, this is the most exciting time to be alive.
David Ralph [37:36]
How do people do this when they never somebody out there, and they’re chasing around and the alarm clock goes, and they jump out and they dive into the shower and they feed the kids and they shoot off? You know what life is like? How do they actually calm it all down so that they can allow the four step brain training to occur? Because you’ve got to stop before you can go forward.
Dana Wilde [37:58]
Yeah, I think the easiest is the way to do it. First of all, put some reminders on your phone five times a day with some little mantra that that says like, you know, today’s going to be a great day or breathe or everything’s going my way or, you know, open my mind or be aware of something like that, put a post it note across from your bed, when you wake up in the morning, take that extra 60 seconds to 120 seconds that says, you know that have the poster, don’t say today is going to be a great day and give yourself that moment, you know, you just had a good night’s sleep, you just been able to like reset your brain say okay, I’m going in with more awareness today and realize that you don’t have to start being like a Buddhist monk, you know, most people are walking around unconscious, like just doing repetitive unconscious acts 95 to 99% of the day, that’s a real statistic. And if you can just eat your awareness to a half a percent more, and start asking yourself, when you hear those those stories that you’re telling, just remember, do I want my particular activating system to match this up, because whether you like it or not, it’s happening, whether you’re controlling it or not. And only you get to decide, if you think in your head, you can You’re the only one that can do it, you can only think one thought at a time. And so pick that thought and be easy on yourself and make it more fun. You know, we called the the experiments in the book mind were experiments because we wanted people to kind of become less attached to them. Look at it, like, Oh, I got that result, I got that result. Because I was thinking that, oh, I gotta bust myself on that thinking, you know. So bust yourself, when you when you have bad outcomes, it doesn’t need to be a big deal. But then congratulate yourself when you have those good ones too. And when you create those good feelings, right?
David Ralph [39:47]
There’s some fascinating videos online with Bill Murray that Ghostbusters guy and that he’s very aware of being present in the moment. And trying to not be focused on the past not be focused on the future, but just being present. Because he knows about that is the moment when he can become more aware and become more focused on these feelings. And these emotions, instead of just allowing things to occur automatically be seen those videos,
Dana Wilde [40:12]
Dana? No, but I’m going to go look at it. Now. How interesting.
David Ralph [40:16]
Yeah, it’s not the kind of guy that you would expect to be into that. But there’s seven different stages to his life. And I will link them to the show notes. So you can come and have a look. And I will send them across to you as well, Dana, but it’s fascinating how it’s, it’s so true. It’s so true. We’ve got the most powerful computer in our heads on automatic pilot, and why wouldn’t we use it to really compete? Why wouldn’t we allow it to really do it stuff? I don’t understand. But I do understand as well, because life is just busy.
Dana Wilde [40:48]
Yeah, it is. And we do get caught up. And it’s not like I’m walking around aware of every minute of every day, but I’m getting better and better and catching when I am in a state of overwhelm or stress or anger at just stepping away from it and giving myself a minute. And that’s really the whole game. You know, for me, this is about how do I just have more fun with this? And how do I relax and find more joy in every minute and find kind of the next fun thing to do and realize that it’s easier than you think? It’s funny that you mentioned Bill Murray’s doing this because after listening to one of your shows my heard that Jim Carrey clip, you kind of got me set off on a tangent of checking out Jim Carrey and of course, he’s doing a lot of that same stuff right now, too.
David Ralph [41:28]
Well, yeah, he’s and he’s become a karma version of himself. But with him, it’s interesting as well, he created a persona that we liked, but actually wasn’t him. And so many people struggle with that. But they get to a point where actually they go, I want to be me, I want to be me, there was a very interesting program over Christmas in the United Kingdom, about Whitney Houston, and her sort of just general demise. And it was could it cannot be me. And that was a key thing. Want to sing the songs I want to see, I want to dress like I want to dress, but people kind of get suppressed. And I see that with all the people that are really doing extremely well and have longevity. They have got who they are. They know who they are. And they play that. And I think Bill Murray is a classic example of it. But you can say he’s always the same. But he knows what he’s bringing to the table. And he is and if you like it, you like it. And if you don’t, you don’t, but he just absolutely has nailed it. And I think that’s a big problem. I think I had that as well. When I started join up dots I was playing a role. And it took me quite a few episodes before it started to really click in. And now this isn’t much different from my real life is just me turning on the microphone and talking. But I think there was a time but the energy was being exhausted by trying to be somebody but I just wasn’t quite right for me.
Dana Wilde [42:52]
Yeah, yeah. It’s a really good point. And it’s very interesting, because I think that part of that comes from experience, does it a you know, and I don’t know why, and I’m certainly projecting here. But I know that for myself. And for the people who tend to be attracted to the work that I do, we tend it’s a culture where we’re externally motivated. Maybe it’s, it happens because the way we’re raised, you know, we’re geared for let’s look at, you know, mom and dad’s face and see if I’m being good, or if I’m not, or you know, and we gear ourselves toward looking outside of ourselves continually, am I pleasing my parents? Am I pleasing my teacher, that’s how you kind of know, like, if you’re doing the right thing, and unfortunately, it doesn’t really serve us in the bigger picture. Because what we want to do is we want to be able to just be who we are, regardless of if people are going to like us or not. And that is definitely something that comes as a maturation process, isn’t it being able to start to be be our authentic selves and be okay with it and know that the people that you’re going to find, you know, there are people out there who are going to love you for exactly that are those are the ones you want to hang out with anyway, because frankly, they’re usually just a lot cooler.
David Ralph [44:04]
Well, I like hanging out with you, Dana. And I’ll be honest, when I first met you, it was one of those connections that I thought I’ve known all my life, it feels like I’ve known all my life, but it wasn’t it was the very first time that we spoke. And I think it was just two people coming together. We’ve no luggage, they were just being who they were and if the other person didn’t like it. So so you know, so well.
Dana Wilde [44:26]
Yeah, right back to David it is it’s really fun when you have that connection. And you know, I like your approach to life to in that you know, you take you’ve got a good sense of humor, and you get it and you’re just banging around figuring it out to just like we all are, I mean, that’s the fun of it. I think people sometimes have this idea that they have this goal. And if I hit that goal, then I’m going to be happier. That’s really what I’m looking for. And I have something that I always tell the mine aware followers that nobody likes hearing, but I always say look at you’re never going to get what you want. And then of course, you know, it’s like wah wah, wah, like the peanuts are so mega, it’s like it because what’s going to happen is right about the time you get it, you’re going to celebrate for about three minutes, and then you’re going to want something else. And so you might as well enjoy the path getting there. Because once you get it, it’s flat, and it’s done. And then it’s like okay, now what’s Melwood? what’s next on the horizon?
David Ralph [45:20]
Yeah, it’s like driving through Texas, I was really looking forward to driving through Texas once. And I did it. It was just boring. I’m sorry, if anybody’s listening to this, who live in Texas. But there was nothing to look at. It was just flat. And my whole excitement was based around this state, I don’t know. And it was just a bit rubbish, rubbish.
Dana Wilde [45:42]
Well, I hate to clean, but the entire center of the US is like that. And I’m in Minnesota, by the way,
David Ralph [45:50]
move somewhere exciting move somewhere that comes to the United Kingdom, that’s where you should come weaker. We’ve got castles, we’ve got everything here. I am going to pray words of somebody who didn’t quite make it up as you went along. But certainly it wasn’t an easy journey. And this is the late Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [46:08]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [46:44]
He’s somebody I wished I could have on the show. He’s here every single day. But I went to love to just ask him some big questions. Of course, I can’t. So I’m going to ask you two big questions. When you listen to those words. Are they emotional words are a practical words for you?
Dana Wilde [47:01]
Well, both Actually, I’m does everybody say that? Because they really is a really, really powerful, you know, it’s that old adage of hindsight is 2020. But it’s really beyond that. It’s about having faith. That’s really it’s a it’s a message for faith and so plain and simple.
David Ralph [47:21]
So when you look at your life, when did it come together? When was your big.oh? Without
Dana Wilde [47:27]
a doubt it was the big turning point was when I heard Lou Tyson’s training on how the brain work that that set the trajectory for everything I would do after that. But having said that, I feel like light bulbs go on almost every single day, every single day. There’s something where I go like, oh, ha, now I’ve just figured it out. Now, I’m the smartest person in the world, because I got that extra glare. You know? I mean, it’s that’s part of the joy of being physical. I mean, what are we doing here? You know, really, here we are, we’re just all in these meat suits walking around, we’re consciousness. You know, we’re conscious. I mean, if you can’t laugh at it, and have some fun with it, and expect that there is going to be some light bulbs going on. What’s the point? Really? What is the point? Indeed?
David Ralph [48:15]
Well, I know what it was point in this show. And that was getting you to the point where you have a one on one with your younger self. And this is the point of the show to call the Sermon on the mic, when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with the younger Dana Wilde. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger version, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give what we’re going to find out, because I’m going to play the theme. And when it fades you up. This is the Sermon on the mind.
Unknown Speaker [48:46]
With the best of the show.
Dana Wilde [49:02]
I love that. Right? This is the best bit of the show david it makes me so happy every time I hear it, I would go back to when I was 19 in that cubicle just before I learned about the brain, you know, either that or high school that period, I was really driven person who wasn’t living up to my potential. I was definitely like the underachiever the world. But I knew there was something bigger out there. And I tried to, you know, volunteering for all these different things or trying all these different methods to find meaning and purpose in my life. And I would probably say something to her that would sound like, you know what, you’re going to figure it out. So just relax, relax, and chill out, you’re doing just fine. Everything is going to work out. You know, have a little faith and enjoy this time and enjoy this process a little bit more. Because every single moment you’re growing as a person, there are bigger and bigger things on the horizon for you. And what you’re going through right now is just a little bump. So hang in there. That would probably be the essence of it.
David Ralph [50:10]
And that’s great advice for everyone. So, Dana Wilde, for the people that have been listening to you today, what’s the number one best way that they can connect with you?
Dana Wilde [50:18]
Oh, thanks for asking, you know, Dana wilde.com with the ESPN is the best. And if you really want to learn about train your brain for free, my favorite price, it is Dana wild.com slash free training will get you right into, you know, webinar that’ll kind of tell you the myths about growing businesses and what really matters.
David Ralph [50:38]
We will have over links on the show notes. Dana, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you got more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Dana wild. Thank you so much.
Dana Wilde [50:55]
Thank you David you’re a rock star. I appreciate you and thanks everybody.
David Ralph [51:02]
Dana White. So making your brain aware training your brain, keeping it free from distractions. It’s not easy to do, it really isn’t easy to do. And that’s why the training is so important. So jump over to her website and get the free training because Dana Wilde is lovely. She really is lovely. Hopefully that came across on the show. And she’s one of my special friends never met her personally. But I have a strong connection to her just from appearing on her own podcast on one or two other things that we’ve done in the right place all the way. Until next time, my friends thank you so much for being here and I will see you very soon. Okay, look after yourself. Cheers. Bye
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.