Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast Interview with Hal Elrod
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Introducing Hal Elrod
Hal Elrod is todays guest, joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview.
He is a man who has an amazing story, of a tragic accident, which ultimately could have been the best thing to happen to him.
Known as “Yo Pal Hal” since hosting his first radio show at age 15, his greatest triumph came at age 20 after he was hit head on by a drunk driver and found dead at the scene.
Despite being clinically dead for six minutes, in a coma for six days, breaking 11 bones and being told he may never walk again, Hal defied the logic of doctors.
How The Dots Joined Up For Hal Elrod
He also overcame the temptations to be a victim, and he bounced back.
He proved that ALL of us are capable of overcoming extraordinary adversity to create extraordinary results in our personal and professional lives.
Hal has appeared on dozens of TV and radio shows, and he’s been featured in numerous books which is not a surprise when you consider how his mental attitude has created something so amazing, out of something that could have finished him off.
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Hal Elrod
During the episode we discussed such weighty topics with Hal Elrod such as:
How inspiration and desperation lead to transformation!
How you should never be hurt or angry for more than five minutes without moving forwards with positivity!
Why daily exercise is a huge part of gaining the success that you want in your life!
How he survived hitting rock-bottom twice, and why the second was even worse than being dead!
How the most successful people spend the majority of their time becoming better versions of themselves!
Products By Hal Elrod
How To Connect With Hal
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Hal Elrod Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David, Ralph.
Good morning to you. Oh, my many listeners. How are we all out there in internet land? Do you know it’s the 20th of July and it’s 181 days till Christmas. So it’s time to get your thinking caps on. Make a list. Ill make a list on the website so you can choose the perfect gift for me. And did you know also it was um, Mr. Neil Armstrong walked on the moon quite interesting little fact there for you. But I’m skip today’s guest on because he is in his own way. He’s got more of an amazing story, even Neil Armstrong because he is somebody who had a trial.
David Ralph [1:00]
accident which ultimately could have been the best thing to happen to him, known as yo powerhouse since hosting his first radio show at age 15. His greatest triumph became at age 20 after he was hit on by a drunk driver and found dead at the scene, despite being clinically dead for six minutes in a coma for six days breaking 11 bones and being told he may never walk again. He defined the logic of doctors and the temptations to be a victim and he bounced back to prove that all of us and I mean all of us are capable of overcoming extraordinary adversity to create extraordinary results in our personal and professional lives. He’s appeared on dozens of TV and radio shows and he’s been featured in numerous books, which is not a surprise when you consider how his mental attitude has created something so amazing. Out of something that could have finished him off. So let’s bring on to the show to start connecting the dots of his life. The one and only Hal Elrod.
How are you today?
fantastic David, I’m excited. Let’s have some fun. Well, we are going to have some fun
Even though your story is a bit tragic in certain places, when you’ve obviously heard that story many, many times because it is the thing that has made you who you are, but when you listen to it and you hear I was clinically dead, the six minutes, doesn’t it does that still sort of send shivers up your spine?
You know, it doesn’t anymore. It’s something that I’ve So, you know, many years ago, I mean, I’ve come to peace with it. In fact, I came to peace with it in the hospital, to the point where the doctors actually thought I was in denial. Because I was so happy I was I was, in fact, I’ll just jump right into this kind of this one of my favorite anecdotes, favorite stories from that time. The doctors called my parents into the hospital or into their into their office about a week after I came out of my coma. So as you mentioned, I had my heart stopped beating, I was dead for six minutes, six days in a coma, came out of the coma to face really an unimaginable reality. I mean, it’s you know, it’s it’s almost it’s like waking up from a nightmare. And no matter how hard you rub your eyes and try to shake your head and shake it off, you know, you realize that the nightmares your real life, I’ve got all these broken bones and they’re saying, I’ll never walk again. And, you know, it was obviously a very, very traumatic to deal with that even even more so mentally and emotionally than physically in some ways. And within a matter of days, I decided that you know what, I can’t change it. Just like so many things in life that we you know, we can’t change anything that’s happened up until this point, right? There’s most of our life, most of the things that we create negative, emotional, you know, suffering and pain over are the things that we can’t go back in time and change their the things that already happened, whether they happened five minutes ago, five days ago, or five years ago. And so I decided, since I can’t change it, I’m going to accept my life as it is, unconditionally. Accept all the things I can’t change, be grateful for everything I have, and I’m going to focus on. I’m creating progress every day toward getting my life back where I want it to be. And the doctors called my parents in about a week after I came out of the coma, and they sat them down. And they said very seriously, we’re concerned with Hal Elrod every time we were around how he’s always smiling and laughing and joking, and making us laugh, and they said, that’s, that’s frankly, that’s not normal for a 20 year old young man that’s been told he may never walk again. And they said, We believe this is so difficult for him to accept his reality is so unimaginable, so difficult that he is just checked out mentally, and he’s in a state of delusion. They thought I was delusional. And that was their only explanation for how I could be so joyful and smiling and joking all the time. So they, you know, they encourage my parents to try to talk to me and get down to the bottom of how I was really feeling you know, find out you know, get him to admit the anger or the the sadness or the that he’s afraid or that he’s depressed, you know, get him to feel those things while he’s here in the hospital in a safe environment so we can work through it. So my dad comes in that that evening and I’m watching TV laying in a hospital bed. No Keep in mind, I mean, my leg was broken in half so it’s got a metal I’ve got a 14 inch metal rod in my in my leg holding my femur together at this time and I still have it. My legs up in a sling, I’ve got my arm same thing broken in half at the humerus bone, it’s it’s got a metal rod in it, it’s sewn together. So I my ear is almost completely torn off with hanging on sewn back on my eye is you know, destroyed to the point where my eye socket was actually rebuilt in titanium. So it’s literally two weeks after the night of the crash. I’m in pretty bad shape sitting my hospital bed. My dad comes in and he gets very, very sombre and I can you know I can tell something is you know, his eyes are welling up, tears welling up and he’s trying to hold it together. And he says Hal? You know, Hey, I know that when you have friends here and visitors and family I know you guys are joking and laughing and reminiscing, but he said, when when everybody is gone and it’s just you by yourself and you know, the lights are out and there’s nothing to distract you. How are you really feeling about this? We haven’t we haven’t really talked about this. Are you sad? Are you sad? Are you angry? You know, are you scared? Are you feeling down or depressed? It’s okay to feel these things. It’s it’s normal. I think it’s important that we talk about them though. And that, you know, you kind of get him out. And I really, I could again, I could tell my dad was very emotionally distraught. And so I really thought, you know, I thought long and hard about his questions, and I really contemplated, am I sad? Am I angry? Am I am I depressed? Am I scared? And, you know, I smiled at my dad and I said, Dad, I thought you knew me better than that. And he was kind of taken aback you know, and I said, Dad, I live my life by the five minute rule. I learned this when I was you know, I was one of the top sales reps when this accident happened for for Cutco cutlery. I was one of their top sales reps. They said, I learned this in my Cutco training, five minute rule. It’s okay to be negative when things go wrong, but not for more than five minutes, right? Set the timer on your phone or look at the clock, bitch, moan, complain, scream, punch a wall, whatever you got to do. I said, you give yourself five minutes. And then as an intelligent human being after your five minutes is up and you’ve gotten to release some of those feelings. You completely stop resisting the thing that you can no longer go back in time and change. You accept it unconditionally. And you focus all of your energy on reality, not the reality that you wish it would have been the reality that you’re dealing with and how you can make the best of it. And I said, Dad, it’s been more than five minutes. It’s been two weeks, I said and there’s only one of two outcomes. I told him David I said either the doctors are right and I will never walk again. And I’ll be in a wheelchair the rest of my life. And I’ve already accepted if that’s what happens, I will be the happiest person you’ve ever seen in a wheelchair. Because I, I don’t know why I would choose anything else. I said the other option, though, and this is the second option that I’m putting all my energy into, is that I will walk again, you know, the doctors might be experts in medicine, I said, but they’re not experts in me. And I’m going to spend every every day I’m visualizing walking again, I’m maintaining faith, I’m praying about it, I’m believing in it. And I will do that until I am absolutely proven that it’s impossible. And if that’s the case, I’ll be in a wheelchair, and I’ll accept it. And, you know, he went back to the doctors and, you know, after he first grill, you know, question the Lord, are you sure Hal Elrod is this really how you feel? You’re not just, you know, delusional, and I said, Dad, this is it. And here’s the lesson, David, it was the opposite of what the doctors thought. And I think this is one of those valuable lessons that that a human being can adopt into their life and that is, the doctors thought I couldn’t accept this difficult reality, this difficult tragedy. So therefore, I couldn’t be genuinely happy. It must have been a facade. And what they didn’t realize is it was the exact opposite. I had fully unconditionally accepted. My reality as it is I put zero energy into wishing and wanting that it were different. Because I realized that when we put energy into wishing and wanting something, we’re different that cannot be different. That’s out of our control. That we create emotional pain for ourselves, unnecessarily it we make ourselves miserable. Because I accepted it.
Now. Let me stop you there because I need to jump in so many times how because it was so many areas. I was got up. Yeah, now. Yeah. I think the thing about the doctors bow is it wasn’t that you were not normal. As in you weren’t accepting it. It was more of a case of they hadn’t seen it before. Because no matter how you parcel it, your reaction, I don’t think I would have had that reaction. I think I would have laid there moping and groaning, and I think the majority of people would as well. So was it something that was inherently in you that if you went back to sort of a two year old and a five year old and a 10 year old, you was always somebody that could see things for the brighter side of life? Or was it something that when you were faced with that, yes or no decision, you’re either going to be in a wheelchair or you’re going to do your damnedest not to be in a wheelchair, and that’s ramp up that courage that commitment came out of you.
Hal Elrod [10:29]
So that’s a great question. And there’s a couple things I think that that contributed to that mindset on first was when I was eight years old, I woke up one morning to my mother screaming across the hall in her bedroom, and I ran across the hall. It was just me my mom and my baby sister Amery who was just a year and a half old, that were at home and my dad was at work and my my sister was at my grandma’s house. I ran in and my mom was holding her are 18 month old daughter, my sister dead in her arms. And she had had a heart failure and died. And my mother, within a matter of I mean, I think it was like six weeks, my mom founded a support group for other parents in our community that had lost children. And I really think that planted a seed for me to see how to respond to adversity that when, even when the most horrific tragedy occurs, that there’s always an opportunity there, there’s always an opportunity to serve other people and to add value and to contribute to others and invite in doing so we heal ourselves ourselves, right? In doing so when we get off self and on purpose. It’s able to, you know, we’re able to cope better with with our challenges. So I think that was the first thing is that I kind of learned, hey, you when something goes horribly wrong, you ask yourself, How can I use this? How can I turn this into a positive? How can I help other people through my experience? And the second thing was when I started in sales, it goes back to what I already shared in the five minute rule, right?
You know, the five minute rule was taught to me to deal with, you know, customers canceling appointments or canceling orders or kicking you out of their house or whatever. Because you know, just being rude to you. That was obviously a very minor adversity compared to what I dealt with. But I had spent the last year and a half practicing that mindset of, you know, not being upset for longer than five minutes. And I got to the point where I and I even actually told my dad during that conversation, I said, Dad, I’ve been really working on making the five minute rule the five second rule, because as I’ve been practicing this now being upset for five minutes starts to feel pointless. I’ll get to minute three, and I’ll be like, Oh, this is so Gosh, darn it, and I’m going, I’m looking at my clock going. Okay, well, so I got two more minutes where I have to be upset. It just doesn’t like I just it just it literally changed the way I thought about it. So I got to where I accepted everything I couldn’t change before it even happened. And then if it happened, I would you know, I would say gosh, darn it, whatever and, you know, then I’d focus Okay, can’t change it. And those became the magic words can’t change it. What can I focus on that’s in my control. That will move me forward in my life. And I think that was the things that contributed to that mindset.
So when you was a young chap, obviously your life now in many ways you would go so well, you know, you’re doing exciting things, you’re on TV on radio, you’re doing podcast, you’ve got so many aspects coming into you, which I’m sure before this tragic situation occurred, couldn’t have been on your radar. But what was it that you was focused in on as a young man? What was your dream path?
Hal Elrod [13:29]
So my dream as a young man, if you will, when I was it started when I was 15 years old, I started DJ high school dances so as in playing the music, you know, and being the disc jockey at high school dance, or I’m sorry, Junior High dances i was i was a high school student, and I started doing the junior high dances around town and I really found a passion for that I loved making people have fun and have you know, dance. I wasn’t a musician. I had no talent there. So you know, I could play the music but only only through my my boombox there, but, um, what ended up happening was that dream I thought I want to be a radio disc jockey. That was my dream. And at 15 I got a phone call from the local radio station manager that had heard that I was a DJ and he offered me a job on the radio and that’s where, you know, mom gave me the nickname yo PAL and I started I hosted a weekly, a weekly radio show. My sophomore year of high school every single week where you know, I was on the air for three hours gave concert tickets away, and at 19 I had another gig on a radio station. I was pursuing the dream, my first year of college, and then that’s when I got an offer to in a sales job a friend of mine was in sales. I had no intention of it being anything more than just a summer job to make a little extra money to pay for my you know, while I pursued my DJ dream, and 10 days into the job I had broken the all time company record for the most anyone had sold in their first 10 days. in in in at least in the western half of the United States. I think there was one guy that had had had done more but um, it was a 50 year old company, you know, it was a 50 year old company. And that was where I was like, wow, the new dream was born. I want to be like, the greatest sales rep in the history of this company, and then maybe the greatest manager and lead other people and inspire others to do what they do. And then that was the dream. And then the accident happened. And I kind of had this sense of, you know, what, there’s a bigger purpose behind why this happened. And I’m gonna, you know, I’m going to get through this as best I can, so that I can figure out how to how to pay it forward and help other people with with what I learned about.
I know why he was good at sales how I be, well, I used to be a sales manager up in the City of London. And the first thing I’m getting from you is best passion and you can’t teach passion. Somebody either got it or they haven’t. And I believe that you would study those products inside out and you would know them back and front so that if anybody through an obstacle in your way you could overcome that. And I think the bottom line is, I bet you were selling a product that you believed in.
Hal Elrod [15:56]
Yeah, definitely believe in the product and you’re right and I always tell people that I didn’t you know, I didn’t understand anything about sales mechanics. I had never read a book on selling I didn’t understand the sales process. I was successful because of two things enthusiasm and work ethic. Right. And you call it passion. So enthusiasm, passion, kind of kind of the same thing. Um, but yeah, I went in, this is how I talk, I just get excited. I get overly excited. I talk too fast, right? It just, it’s natural. I don’t even think about it. And I think that by the end of a sales presentation, the customer probably didn’t hear or didn’t remember half of what I said, but they were just like, you know, wow, you’re excited and this team is pretty good. And okay, let’s do it. You know, and, I worked really hard. I did. I did I work 12 hours a day for the first 10 days in my sales career. And that’s why I broke the record because I outworked everybody else.
But that is a learning curve for all our listeners out there. But the things that do inspire you, you know, I play Steve Jobs speech, every single show, and the whole speech itself is probably about 16 or 17 minutes. I don’t remember any of it other than even the bit that I play on a daily basis, if you asked me to quote it, I couldn’t. Yeah. But if you asked me to explain how it makes me feel, that’s a different ballgame. And it’s the is when you touch people and make them feel your passion and your enthusiasm. That is when magic happens. You did it in a sales environment, you’re now doing it in a wider environment. But it is it is passion, its enthusiasm as you say it’s work ethic. And if you have got those things, and if our listeners are out there, and they feel that they’ve got something in them that I need to, you know, present to the world. If you have those two elements before anything else, you’ve got to a head start haven’t you.
Hal Elrod [17:44]
Yeah, and and let me say you absolutely you do and let me say this, you know, you mentioned that passion was something that you either have or you don’t have and i i want to slightly negate you in on that. I think it is something that you can develop and the reason I say that is it I’m not passionate about something necessarily, when I’m sitting there thinking about it, sometimes I am. But usually the passion is generated when I talk about it. So whether I get on stage and you know, as a keynote speaker I’m giving a speech to the audience. It’s like what comes out of my mouth that that didn’t even in a lot of times I see things that I’ve never said in my entire life when I’m in that moment, right when I’m when I’m connected with someone who I can share something with it will add value to their life. The passion is co created in that moment by my audience, and and by me, and if I was sitting on my couch, the passion wouldn’t exist in and of itself. It would be lying there dormant inside me, if that makes sense.
If it doesn’t have coming out over time, that that would be just strange, wouldn’t it? It’d be like having a fountain that you can’t turn off. Surely the power of a, you know, a fountain of positivity is the fact that when you need it, you turn it for maximum effect.
Hal Elrod [19:01]
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, that’s the thing is, but I’m not sitting around all the time just passionate. 24 seven, I think that we have to take responsibility for generating the passion that we need. And how do you do that? Well, you whatever you have to do you either, you know, write yourself an affirmation that reaffirms what you’re passionate about why you’re passionate about it, what you’re committed to doing to transfer that passion into action, to create the results that you want in your life. Right. So, you know, you’ve got to generate the passion. And I think that that’s true for all of us. If you don’t feel passionate, you know, if someone tells me I’m just not passionate, how and I will go, well, Who the hell is responsibility? Is it to generate the passion that you want? Mine? No, right? Absolutely. All all of us have to take individual responsibility for generating the energy that we need, the passion that we need, the motivation that we need to do the things that are necessary to you know, to create the life that we really want.
David Ralph [20:00]
When when you did get hit by a drunk driver. I’m not being flippant here at all this this is just me asking a simple question. But was there any kind of out of body experience or whatever Were you aware like some people say that they were actually dead or was it just blackness and you didn’t know anything at all?
Hal Elrod [20:18]
Yeah, no it absolutely I did not see a light or let me say this I don’t remember if I saw a light I because my brain I suffered the one of the most common brain damage for a head on collision if you imagine if you’re doing it 70 miles an hour on the freeway as I was doing, you know full speed. The car that hit me was also doing 70 to 80 miles an hour. Not sure what that is in kilometers, but I’m the we hit head on Well, what happens is the safety belt stopped my it grabbed my chest, it stopped my body from moving forward. However, my brain was still traveling 70 miles an hour when my skull stopped moving, and the entire front of my skull was immediately crushed. And my memory is wiped out for about two weeks of my life. My last memory was about, you know, I don’t know 10 to 30 minutes before the accident occurred. And my first memory is about two weeks after the accident occurred and there’s no memory in between. So my parents asked the doctors, you know, hey, it, could he have seen a light? Would he know that? And they essentially said the odds of him remembering whatever he saw during that time are not very good, because his brain was smashed. moments before, you know, he went in, you know, into a coma. And before he died.
That in a way, that must be a great thing, isn’t it that you do lose that part? If you had fat going through your head all the time? That That must be terrible. That must be nature’s way of actually clearing the deck someone allowing for your recovery to take place.
Hal Elrod [21:50]
Yeah, you know, I mean, I would imagine that um, you know, that I always say that, thank god the body works the way that it does. And I was immediately in a coma for example, right? I mean,
I I couldn’t have imagined being awake. You know, when I don’t either I would have died of shock probably, you know, blood running down my face my ear my, I mean, I can’t even imagine so, you know everything yeah, the body and the brain, you know working in miraculous fashion together.
David Ralph [22:18]
I’m going to play Steve Jobs in a moment because I think he’s about the right time because he talks about truth, trusting yourself faith and passion and all those kind of things. But just before we we transition over to him and to the next part of your life, if you look back on it now, would you say that really, as we call it in the in the show was your big dot? That was when your path moved in a direction that you couldn’t possibly have perceived at the beginning? Or was there other things around that time that was actually leading you to a different life?
Hal Elrod [22:51]
Yeah, there’s you know, I always say that I’ve had to rock bottoms in my life, you know, which are a rock bottom is something we’ve all experienced where it’s different for everybody. It doesn’t compare to anybody else’s how for whatever experiences in your life have felt like you didn’t know if you could get through them, you didn’t know how to get through them. It was the worst that have ever been before. And that was really my first rock bottom that led me to, you know, become a high school and a college speaker. And then eight or nine years later, and we’ll get into this after we listened to the Steve Jobs message, but I had my second rock bottom, which surprisingly, was much worse than my first and people always say, how do you get worse than dying? It seems like that’d be kind of the the worst it could be. But I was actually a lot harder for me to deal with after and my life’s work today is is really a result of both of those rock bottoms and what I learned, getting through them so quickly. That created you know, who I am and the work that I do to this day and my new book, obviously, the Miracle Morning was born out of that second rock bottom.
Well, let’s listen to Steve and then I’m going to be fascinated ask you about this second rock bottom because I would have said exactly the same as how can it be worse and dying?
To be the ultimate, this is Steve Jobs.
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
Because you seem to me hal somebody that didn’t just go off the well worn path he would like smashed off the well worn path that does those those words have resonance to you, or is your life directly related to the incident?
Hal Elrod [24:55]
Absolutely, those words resonate with me and I think that for all of us you know, it’s kind of to say what Steve said in another way. You know, they say hindsight is 2020. Right? I don’t believe that we need to wait until the future to be able to look back with hindsight and be able to see the benefits of our adversity. I think that we can go through life with the understanding and the the level of awareness that every experience, good or bad is an asset to us if we choose to see it that way. And, you know, one of the most popular outages is, you know, everything happens for a reason, right? We’ve all been told that and we’ve heard that and we usually hear it when we don’t want to hear it like you’re going through a really difficult time and you know, well meaning friend or co worker puts their hand on your shoulder and says, Don’t worry, friend, everything happens for a reason. You’ll see and you’re you know, you’re just thinking Shut up. Leave me alone. I don’t hear it right. Um, well, here’s this is, this is my my take on that. JOHN on the truth behind that, because whenever I speak, I always ask the audience I say, hey, raise your hand, if you believe that everything happens for a reason. And usually about half the hands go up, give or take. And then I always say, raise your hand if you don’t believe that. Or you’re maybe you’re not sure you’re not really sure if you buy into it, and the other half of the hands go up. So the my take on this, I think, is one that we can all buy into. And it’s the idea that everything does happen for a reason. However, it’s not as most people think, see, everything happens for a reason. But it’s our responsibility to choose the reasons. Most people think they’re supposed to figure it out. Like it’s some force outside of themselves, that will tell them why this happened. And they go through life banging their head against the wall, going, gosh, why didn’t deserve this? Why did this happen? I’m a good person, you know, versus going, Okay. It’s my responsibility to choose the most empowering reasons for the adversity in my life. How can I use this experience to be stronger than I was before it occurred? How can I use this experience to teach other people how to be stronger than they were and get through their challenges? Right? So every experience again, it’s an asset. It happens for a reason. But we get to choose the reasons I could have been that victim and been like, Oh, I don’t deserve this. And I’m never going to walk again. And, you know, what was me up? But instead, I, you know, and I don’t I don’t claim that I’m special. I just, you know, I just was able to choose that. There’s no point in feeling sorry for myself. There’s no point in wishing it didn’t happen to me, or feeling bad about it happening. the only the only thing that makes sense intelligently if I want to have a great life, which we all do is I’ve got to look at how can I turn this adversity into an advantage? You know, and by putting all my energy into that, I was able to do exactly that. Right? Whatever we focus on expands and that was my focus.
If you were Episode One, I would have said you were special. And I would have said that that mindset, but now you’re Episode 83 I’ve heard the same story over and over and over again. And it seems that every single person that comes on the show that has hit success has been driven by something bad happening. And it might be the case that they were made redundant. It might be the case, as in my case, I had a really terrible manager. And I just couldn’t bear working with her anymore. It could be the case, but you know, there’s been a death in the family or something. And that she every single person will say, at the time, I thought it was the worst thing to happen. But I look back on it now and go, thank God for that. And that’s really a message I want to get out to the listeners out there. But if you are in a situation, that is rubbish, if you are in a in a relationship, that is rubbish, it is your responsibility to do something about it. And until you take that responsibility as how was saying, Then, you’re just going to be trapped. No one else is going to help you. You will have to play the victim card and I don’t want to be harsh on there. But it is that, is cut and dried. As soon as you mentally flip that switch to say, Yes, I’m not putting up with this anymore, then your life starts moving forward. And it’s as simple as that. And then all the kind of passions and stuff that people talk about. You’ve got to find your passion and all that kind of stuff. Generally will stop pointing you and then you will start to see a life that you couldn’t have dreamed possible.
Hal Elrod [29:24]
Yeah, yeah, I absolutely agree. And I think that it’s, you know, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, by the way for anyone listening, you know, I mean, very, very few things in life are easy. But But when things are easy, we don’t grow. You know, what I mean? Like life to me is about becoming a better consistently just always becoming better than who you were when you woke up, right? I mean, that’s my, you know, my new my book, The Miracle Morning. That’s what it’s about. It’s about dedicating time every day when you start the day to become a better version of who you were when the alarm clock went off, so that you’re more capable and more deserving of creating the life you really want every single day. And if you become that better version every morning and that’s the context and the mindset that you set for your day. It’s it’s, it’s inevitable that you’re going to create the life that you want. It’s just simply a matter of time. Whereas most people though, they don’t do that, right they they hit the snooze button in the morning, they waste the morning, they wait to wake up until the last possible moment, before they rush out the door. And, therefore, they stay the same. And their life stays the same. You know, the premise, I said this, I was interviewed yesterday and I said this in a in a way where there was a video I was doing and they go, Wow, I really liked that. And it was the idea that if you want to take your life to the next level, or your success to the next level, or your income to the next level or your health right in any area of your life. First you have to take yourself to the next level, because it only happens in that order. And most people are trying to take every area of their life than that.
Next Level while remaining the same. So it’s for me, it’s about waking up every day and dedicating time to becoming, again, a better version of who you were when you woke up being more knowledgeable, more confident developing your skills, developing your physical, mental and emotional vitality right every day to really make sure that you win the day.
Did you hear Jim Carrey? Last week how Jim Carrey does speech in a university. And it was like a Steve Jobs speech. And I heard it only because they said inspirational comment by Jim Carrey, and I thought really, because you don’t kind of expect that from him. And that the whole speech is about 26 minutes, and a lot of it was playing to laughs That’s what he’s about. Yeah, sure. But there was one bit in there that I’ve copied and I’m going to play now. Because you listen to this, and this when I heard it, I thought, Wow, I’ve got to start playing this in the show, because it really it sent shivers down me.
Jim Carrey [32:02]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
Hal Elrod. How good is that, sir?
Yeah, you’re right. I did hear that clip the other day and the same thing. I got chills. That’s it’s, it’s so true. And it’s brilliant.
He’s beyond brilliant. Because he with the greatest respect, I wouldn’t expect him to say those kind of things. But if you think about it, What’s he done? He’s somebody who, you know, didn’t have a lot but he’s now and a list Hollywood star and you’re only going to get there by knock back stumbles, falls successes and keep on moving. Don’t you, as soon as you get to the point it is never going to happen, then you’re dead in the water. And if you look at all these a list of stars that we focus in on and we go, that’s how I would like to be like, but you actually start breaking down red dots. It is all the time that I believe that something is going to be better. And even when they’re doing the rubbishy, you know, one line walk on parts, they feel like there might be a two line and there and there might be something else when they get their break. But is that mental attitude is exactly as you were saying, it us he has them and the working ethic to actually keep on pushing yourself forward and becoming a better version of yourself.
Hal Elrod [33:39]
Yeah, it’s, you know, I think that it’s every highly successful individual at one point in their life starts to they take a chance on seeing themselves as better than they’ve ever been before. And rather than in my book, I call it rearview mirror syndrome that most people suffer from, we suffer from rearview mirrors and which is where we’ve got this rearview mirror in our subconscious mind, where we consistently look at who we were, and let that be define who we are, versus looking at who we could be and letting that define who we are. And so I think that what you’re talking about is right is the successful individuals is you know, seeing themselves as what’s possible for them, not not what their past has indicated, because otherwise you’re limited by your past and sadly, that’s how most people live their life. You know, they Robin Sharma, one of my favorite authors, he said that one of the saddest things in life is to get to the end and realize you could have been done and had so much more and that’s the average person’s life and you know, I don’t think it’s I don’t even think you gotta wait till you get to the end. I think one of the saddest things in life is to wake up any day of the of your life and realize that you could be have and do so much more and then not do anything about it. Right. Yeah, that’s that’s one of the saddest things that’s that’s the human existence. You’ve got to decide that today is the most important day of your life, today’s the day where you define what do you really want for your life? And maybe it’s so far off. You know, I never thought it could be a best selling author. I wasn’t even I couldn’t even get a high school essay done on you know, I was a horrible writer. You know, being a motivational speaker was a dream, but there’s no school for that. There’s no class for that. These were things that were just dreams at one point. But it started by me writing the dream down. And then and then getting on Google, right? That’s the first step for everybody. Like, you know, 20 years ago you couldn’t do this nowadays. You can Google How do I blink? You know, how do you get come a blank and what today there’s nothing for words, isn’t it? How to that Yeah, everything you want to know how to do is on the internet for free for you. Um, you know, and that and that’s exactly it is you’ve got to decide today is the day that you create the vision for your life and that you use take your first step toward that vision and every day, dedicate time even 30 minutes a day to chip away at your ideal future, make one one step one, you know, move one inch closer every single day. And if you do that, the life of your dreams, as cliche as it may sound, it’s inevitable, it’s inevitable that you will get there.
Incremental gains, I say that all the time, it’s one step ahead, and then ultimately, you will get somewhere. And most of the time, as I’m finding out now, it isn’t what I expected. At the beginning, when I quit my job, I wasn’t expecting to be, you know, an online radio host in any shape or form. It was something that occurred to me and I ran with it, and it’s taken off, but it’s it’s been work in progress all the time. And now I’m getting you know, I mean, 100 shows in and I’m just starting to feel that actually, this is something that’s you know, I’m comfortable at all the other bits where you almost didn’t want anyone to listen to them. Because now you look back and you go Yeah, Episode One was all right, but God I could do so much better now because I’m an episode 110. And it’s that highlights thing, isn’t it? It’s that ability that we all have to look at the end product of where people are, and totally ignore the steps they’ve taken to get there.
Hal Elrod [37:13]
Yeah, absolutely. And I’m the same thing I’ve got, you know, I have a podcast, my podcast, it’s called achieve your goals with how Elrod I never in a million years thought I would host a podcast and now you know, like you we were talking before the show, you get people to tell you, you know, your podcast is changing my life and you’re like, really? my podcast like me talking is you know, that’s changing your life. Wow, I’m just I’m like, I’m blown away by it. But no, you’re right. it unfolds often that like, My dream was to be a radio DJ. And at 15 I, you know, I started my own business doing, you know, DJ on the on on, not the radio, but school dances. I was moving in that direction playing music for people. And I thought I’d be a world famous radio DJ when I was you know, 30 years old. And of course, I didn’t know that I would have a car and I didn’t know so many life goes in different ways. But I think that you know, it’s about pursuing your your grandest vision for your life is what what attracts and creates opportunities for the vision to expand and become even grander.
David Ralph [38:13]
When I was 15, I wanted to be a radio host. And people used to say to me, you should be on radio, you should be on telly or whatever. And I never I sent one letter off. And I got it back and said, and they said, No, there’s there’s no opportunities where and I didn’t do anything more of it. And since I’ve been joining up the dots with everyone on a daily basis, I’ve started joining up my own dots, I’m thinking back on certain things. And I remember this letter. And I thought to myself, how amazing that sort of 25 years down the line, I’ve actually created the radio station that I’m working at, which you couldn’t have done, you could not have done that 20 years ago, you weren’t going to be employed. But now you can stick a mic on and be heard in places like Korea. I’ve got listeners in Korea, hello, Korea. I love you in Korea. I can’t imagine what we’re getting from an English chat talking to people, you know, but by listening, and the French French love me.
That’s amazing. Yeah. I don’t think the French actually liked the English anyway, really?
Hal Elrod [39:19]
Hope you do. So how’s the gap? I create peace between your countries. I mean, wow, the possibilities are endless. Absolutely. This could be world domination. Yeah, it could be a joint book, David.
David Ralph [39:31]
I tell you funny enough about it. If you look at my website, one of the things I’ve got is a globe at the top. Because my idea of join up dots wasn’t just connecting people’s lives based around these the words of Steve Jobs. It was about seeing if I could connect to the globe. And when I started it, my idea was but somebody in you know, the Philippines or whatever might listen to this and hear something that somebody is doing an America and go, I didn’t know that was possible, but I think I’d be good at it. And you know, this is my opportunity. So it was like the connecting the world. And I switched off from that because it was too big for me to consider. I couldn’t imagine how me sitting here talking to people recording it, putting it into the world could start connecting. And I’m now seeing that take off. And it beggars belief. When you do get an email from someone in it says, You’ve changed my life, or you do get somebody come up to you and go, I was listening to that on the way to work and now I’ve quit and I’ve got another job and I wouldn’t have taken that action without you. There’s a power to what we’re doing and the responsibility that you have to take control of which is mind blowing, isn’t it?
Hal Elrod [40:48]
Yeah, no, it absolutely is and it you know it’s it’s a it’s interesting right they say with great with great power comes great responsibility. And you know, I don’t know if my I have great power, you know if we would call it that but but it actually is once you’re impacting people’s lives. I think there is I think, but here’s the thing that actually I’m, you know, it, let me let me, let me take a different context here. Um, I believe that we all have that responsibility. And that was one of the things that like, when I was in the hospital, I had this this global sense of responsibility, no one told me I just started to think I have a responsibility to overcome my challenges in as, you know, proactive as possible, so that I can learn how to inspire and empower other people to do the same. And I believe that, you know, whether you’re just talking about your family, your friends, your children, you know, even if you don’t host a podcast, like David does, and you’re impacting, you know, infinite amount of people. I think we all have a responsibility to fulfill our potential, because how we live our lives, give other people around us permission to do the same thing and actually Be very bad or it can be very good, very bad. If you complain all the time and you’re settling for mediocrity and you’re letting yourself get an overweight out of shape. You’re unconsciously giving permission to everyone that sees you that knows you to do the same thing to settle for less than they really want to accept mediocrity to complain to be lazy to be physically unhealthy. But when you do the opposite, when you become one of the few people that actually won’t settle for less than you really want you deserve. When you talk about dreams and goals, and you focus on the positive rather than complaining about the negative. When you do that, you give up and when you when you take care of your physical body. And you you know, you you focus on really standards that are high in every area of your life. You You’re doing a service to every person that you love. And if you don’t do that you’re doing a disservice. So I think we all have that responsibility to every loved one every person in our lives, whether it’s you know, we’re trying to change the world or we’re just trying to change you know, one person’s world. We owe it to ourselves and everyone that knows us and that loves us, you know, to really live to our full potential.
I love that. I do love that. And as you was talking, I was so infused, I started looking down to make notes and couldn’t make any notes because I was just listening. But I noticed second rock bottom, I need to ask you about the second rock bottom. So what was that?
Hal Elrod [43:23]
So nine years, roughly, I guess, eight or nine years, about eight years after my car accident. 2008 I had built my life back up, you know, significantly. I mean, I was physically healed. I had gotten in the best shape of my life. I was, you know, put on like 20 pounds of muscle. I was I was single. Then I met the woman of my dreams. So I was no longer single. But we were living together. We had been together for I don’t know, probably six months at that time, and I was convinced she was the one which by the way, she’s my wife now so she was the one and but I just bought my first house. So I just hit Hall of Fame with my company, which was this huge, you know, accomplishment for me. I just bought my first house, bought my dream car I had launched, I transitioned out of my sales career and I had launched my coaching business. So I was doing sales coaching, success, coaching, life coaching. And you know that to this day, I’ve been doing that for you know, nine years. And I launched my speaking career and my first book taking life head on, had hit number one on Amazon in its category and number six on the entire website, on all of amazon.com out of 11 million books it hit number six on the bestseller list. And so, life was great. I was on top of the world and then the US economy crashed and it felt like almost overnight, I lost everything. My income was more than cut in half. I was living on credit cards I had accumulated $50,000 in credit card debt over a six month downward spiral in which I lost my house to the bank. I got I stopped exercising completely because I was in fear mode and scarcity mode, I was just like, I gotta wake up and work all day, you know, and it wasn’t very effective because I wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t I was just working and lost my income. And I got deeply, deeply depressed as a result of losing my house and not being able to pay the bills and so much fear and so much uncertainty. And six months of this downward spiral where I got, I got more and more, you know, thinking of suicide and just not wanting to live and hopeless and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And the reason I believe it was so much more difficult for me, at least emotionally than my car accident was the car accident really was rock bottom. And it could only get better not to mention, I was surrounded by friends and family 24 seven by my side, doctors, nurses, people caring for me taking care of me. Well, in 2008 people had their own problems. I was I wasn’t, you know, I wasn’t being supported by my mom and my dad and people living around me and doctors and nurses feeding me and bathing me. I was on my own. The hardest thing was it kept getting worse. I thought I was at rock bottom, and then another client cancelled. I thought I was at rock bottom. And then I found out I was losing my house. I thought I was at rock bottom and another creditor call right it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And six months of this downward spiral. And my my girlfriend again, now my wife, but girlfriend at the time. You know, one day she just goes, sweetheart, I want to help you. But I don’t know how I don’t know what to do. She said what you have. You’ve got some friends that are very smart, you know, very business savvy. Why don’t you reach out to them and get some help? Because David, let me let me share an important detail of the story. I was a success coach. So if you can imagine how messed up this was for my identity, like I was a success coach that was failing miserably on every level physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. I was at my lowest and yet I was supposed to get on the phone. And be energized and excited and, and and, you know, have clarity and and help my clients. So I also I didn’t tell anyone because if you can imagine, you know, how do I reach out and go, Hey, I’m failing miserably therefore I need clients desperately Do you know anyone that needs a success coach? That’s a frickin mess. Right? It just didn’t work join anybody. Yeah, yeah. And so my wife says, a girlfriend says, Why don’t you call john how john loves you. He’s not going to judge you. He’s you know, you can tell him he’s not going to tell anybody. So I finally get up the courage I call john is a john Do you have like 10 minutes, man, I’m in bad shape. I need to talk to you. I got I got to confess a lot. And he says, Sure I’m here for you. And I tell him everything. And then I’m I said, john, I’m here. I got my computer open. I’m ready to take notes. You tell me what to do to turn my business around to make money and I will do it. And john responds, in what really disappoints me at first, He says, How are you exercising every day?. And I go, what the hell does that have to do with anything that I just told you or you’ve been listening to me? And he says how I’m dead serious, you’re a smart guy. But if you’re not exercising every day if you’re not getting the blood and oxygen to your brain, so that you can think clearer if you’re not releasing the endorphins that exercise releases, so you can feel better so you can overall make better decisions and turn things around it goes if you’re sitting in your office all day just just pounding the phone or whatever you’re not you’re going to get you’re stuck right now you’re stuck and you’ve got to put yourself in a peak physical, mental and emotional state every day to turn this thing around he goes so if I were you I’d go for a run every morning. And I would take your iPod with you and listen to a Jim Rhoan audio. Listen to some sort of self help audio. And I said first i said i hate running john, give me something else to do. And he goes how what do you hate worse running or your current life situation, and I said All right, two shakes. Screw you. I’ll go for run. Okay. The next morning I lace up my shoes. I go for a run and I’ll tell you, Andy, it was be gross. Andy David sorry. It was begrudgingly I was going out the front door going. This is so stupid. I hate running. I need money not running. What am I doing? And two minutes into the Roni into the run. I hear a quote from Jim Rowan. That changes my life forever. And here’s the quote and by the way, the funny part is, I had heard this quote before and it never changed my life before. Sometimes we’ve got to hear something even if we’ve heard it a dozen times. When we’re open to it, we’re ready for it right Tony Robbins says that, you know our moments of greatness coming in the moment of you know, either it’s either inspiration or desperation, right that leads to transformation. I was desperate. And Jim Rowan says this. I’ll never forget it. I say it almost every day. It’s in my affirmations. your level of success will never exceed your level of personal development. And I’ll say that again, because here’s how I took it. I want level 10 success in every area of my life, we all do on a scale of one to 10. We all want level 10. But I realized I’m not developing myself and to be a level 10 person each and every day to achieve that level of success. I’m a level two person right now, my level of personal development is that like a two. And there’s the disconnect, I want level 10. But I’m a level two person trying to get to level 10. That’s why I’m living at a level two, because I’m a level two. And when I say your level of personal development, let me let me expand on that and kind of define it because it’s kind of a vague term, your level of personal development and mind to it represents who we are as a person deeper than our circumstances. So our level of personal development is our knowledge. It’s a combination of things. It’s our knowledge, it’s our beliefs. It’s our confidence. It’s our skills, right? So all of that represents are in my confidence was low. my beliefs were you know, were a mess. My my, you know, my knowledge I wasn’t really learning or growing at that time I was again, I was just in scarcity mode just trying to work, work, work, work work,
Hal Elrod [51:14]
I wasn’t taking time to sharpen the saw. And I realized in that moment, I’ve got to dedicate time every day to my personal development. And if I want an extraordinary transformation of my life, if I want to get to level 10 as fast as possible, I’ve got to create the most extraordinary personal development routine known demand. So I run home. And I don’t really know what this is going to look like. So I have to Google best personal development practices. I come up with a list of six I’m reading articles from Forbes and entrepreneur and Huffington Post, and I come up with a list of six personal development practices. And I write them down and I look at my schedule I go when in the hell am I going to put this in? And I know and it hits me I go, I gotta wake up early.
Hal Elrod [52:00]
I got to wake up an hour earlier than I normally do even though I wasn’t a morning person. I thought I gotta really get serious I gotta start my day by becoming this this this version of myself that I’ve never been by doing these six practices. The next morning when I woke up, David, it felt like Christmas morning. I don’t know if you celebrated Christmas as a kid growing up, you know, or think of like, you know, you’re a vacation you’re going on. We got to wake up early for your vacation or your birthday. Right? It was for the first time in six months, I didn’t hit the snooze button. I didn’t wake up feeling depressed dreading my life that day. I woke up energized and excited. I went into the living room. I did my morning routine. Now, it wasn’t called the Miracle Morning. At that point. It didn’t have a name. It was just personal development at 5am. But within one hours time by doing six practices 10 minutes each at 6am. I even though my life was still a mess. My bank account was still negative. My credit cards were 50 grand in debt. I was still losing my house in turn. I felt at a level 10 I felt I had never felt so motivated and inspired and had so much clarity and felt so optimistic.
Hal Elrod [53:09]
And I thought in that moment, this could be the one thing that changes everything. And then to wrap up the story, I’ll fast forward two months and tell you the results Two months later, doing this routine and nothing else changed my life. But I did what what is now the Miracle Morning, every morning for two for two months, seven days a week. And I doubled my income. I my depression didn’t even take two months to go away. That was gone. It started it was almost gone within 24 hours. And I went from being in the worst shape of my life physically where I had an exercise a single time for six months to training for a 52 mile ultramarathon that I completed, you know, five months later, and that’s why I started calling it the Miracle Morning and that’s where I felt that sense of responsibility that I’ve got to share this with other people and I started small with my clients and you know now they’re 10s of thousands of people around the world that swear by the Miracle Morning is the thing that’s changing their life.
I’m not surprised at all. And I’m not surprised how but you’ve gone on to become such a success. Because it comes out of you. I, I’ve heard so many of these conversations, but I haven’t once become cynical on and I sit here in fraud, and certainly the enthusiasm that you show over a Skype call, I can’t even see you. God forbid what it must be like when I’m in a room with you at the same time. It’s, it’s like you’re gonna spontaneously combust. I reckon.
Hal Elrod [54:38]
You can see how stop talking already. I need a break. That’s what you’d say. Now, of course, of course I wouldn’t. And there’s one last thing that we want you to talk, we want you to have a chat with your younger self. And this is the end of the show. And this is when we send you back in time to have a one on one. And if you did go back into a room and you met the younger hell what age would you choose? Would it be a five year old would it be the chap just
Before we that the tragic situation that you found yourself in at the age of 20, so I’m going to play the music and when it fades out, I’m not gonna say anything at all, because you’re one, and this is the Sermon on the mic. With the best bit of the show.
If I were to meet my younger self, I think I would choose me as a freshman in high school. And the advice that I would give to myself, is that how an order to be come, or I’m sorry, in order to create the life of your dreams, the life that you really want, in order to fulfil your potential. You’ve got to start working on yourself every day.
You’ve got when you go home from school or wake up before you even go to school and start reading books not on on science and mathematics you know yet do those books, get your get good grades, but more importantly, read books on written by highly successful people on what you need to do and how you need to think and the mindset and the actions that you need to take to create the life that everyone wants that so few people, such a small percentage of the people in the world ever get to live, become the person that you need to be through daily self study, to create the life that you really want. And I would tell myself that because I believe that that’s the key. If you want to take your life to the next level, you’ve got to dedicate time every day, and ideally do it first thing in the morning. So you set your mindset and the context for the rest of your day. dedicate time each day to becoming the person that you need to be to create everything that you want for your life.
faster than you ever thought possible.
How can people connect with you?
Yeah, there’s a few ways My name calm how l ra h al l r o d.com is the way that you can actually you know, reach out, you know, get info on me or send me a message. But I invite everybody to come join the Miracle Morning community on Facebook. And it has become like I said, the most inspired online support you know, supportive, encouraging communities I’ve ever seen. And then last but not least, if anybody is listening right now and you’re interested in the Miracle Morning, of course, you know, you can buy the book on Amazon but let’s say you’re in a tough financial position, right? I’ve been there before. If you’re like how, I’d love to buy the book on Amazon, but I like I just don’t have an extra 14 bucks right now thinking we’re really going through some tough times. I get it. I’ve been there. You can all anyone can go to miracle morning.com and you can get started for free. You’ll get the first few chapters of the book for free.
Hal Elrod [58:00]
Don’t get a 17 minute video training on the Miracle Morning, you know from me, and you’ll also get a 60 minute in depth training audio on the Miracle Morning and that way you can get started right away you can you know tonight before you go to bed you can plan out your first Miracle Morning for tomorrow morning. And and again that’s just go to Miracle Morning Calm and get the free resources and and go from there. How it’s been an absolute delight having you on the show today. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because that’s the beauty of this show. Our history is keep on moving forward. So you’ve always got dots to follow. And I really do believe that by joining up those dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. How L Word. Thank you so much. Thanks, David. And thank you everybody for listening. I really appreciate it. David
doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join pdots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.