Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Mr Jack Peterson
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Introducing Jack Peterson
Today’s guest, joining us on the Join Up Dots podcast interview is Mr Jack Peterson.
Someone who is a confidence coach, philosopher and passionate explorer of life.
As he says on his blog he wants to be the “best that he can be in all aspects of his life and hopes to inspire us to do the same.”
Well i’m sure he is going to do just that today.
So how does Jack do it?
How does he strive to the best in all aspects of his life?
How The Dots Joined Up For Jack
Well quite simply Jack Peterson studies the most successful men in the world to look for the commonalities that they all share
You see ever since his upbringing (in Oakland, CA), especially after puberty, he always felt like he was a step behind his peers and had to put in extra work to “catch up.”
Jack was quite shy and fearful and his insecurities showed up most clearly in social situations, especially with attractive girls.
So being in the dating world after years of analyzing, observing, studying and experiencing the dynamics of attraction, he started to write about his learnings.
And now Jack Peterson considers himself a highly conscious man, and is there to teach this information to the world.
Well let’s bring onto the Join Up Dots Free Podcast Interview, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs, the one and only Jack Peterson.
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Jack Peterson such as:
How he believes that everything in our realities is down to us, so we can change our realities by simply taking action!
He believes that we have no boundaries and are limitless to what we can achieve!
How fear is the true compass that shows the way to a future of success!
How he believes that the most important things that we can is get a mentor to support us!
How he went up to a complete stranger and asked them to marry him!
How skipping is a great thing to do as you can’t do it without smiling!
How To Connect With Jack Peterson
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Jack Peterson Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Hello, one and all. How are we ready for another show? I hope you’re ready because I am ready. I really am ready today, I feel I feel good. I don’t like to talk about myself. Hey, that’s what I do every single day. But I’ve done six shows back to back. This is the last one tonight. I’ve already spoken to the guests. And he is going to deliver like you’ve never heard before. I don’t want to put pressure on him. But he’s going to be good. So today’s guest is someone who is a competence coach, philosopher, and passionate explorer of life. As he says on his blog, he wants to be the best that he can be in all aspects of his life, and hopes to inspire us to do the same. Well, I’m sure he’s going to do that today. But how does he do it? How does he strive to be the best in all aspects of his life? Well, quite simply, he studies the most successful men in the world to look for the commonalities that they all share Martin Luther King, Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Albert Einstein, Bruce Lee, to name just a few. You see, ever since his upbringing in Oakland, California, especially after puberty, he always felt like it was a step behind these peers, and had to put in extra work to catch up. He was quite shy, and fearful. And these insecurities showed up most clearly in social situations, especially with the ladies and the attractive ladies, too. So being in the dating world, after years of analysing, observing, studying and experiencing the dynamics of attraction, he started to write about his learnings. And now he considers himself a highly conscious man. And he’s there to teach this information to the world. So let’s get him on. So we can all learn from him. And of course, as always, let’s start Join Up Dots to see how we got here. The one and only jack Peterson, how are you today? jack?
Jack Peterson [2:08]
I’m doing great. David, thanks for having me on the show is exciting.
David Ralph [2:11]
It’s exciting for me, sir. Because you are a confident chap, you are somebody who it must be one of those things. When you say to somebody, I’m a competence coach, they must go. What does that mean? Because I kind of query that is that is that just to sort of make people more confident? Or is it to really get them to look inside themselves? How do you do that? How do you become a competence coach?
Jack Peterson [2:36]
Well, it was a long process of joining up the dots. And
as you mentioned in the intro, it it stemmed from areas of my life that I wasn’t satisfied with, which was mainly my self confidence. And in a lot of ways that was projected onto things in my reality.
friends, like not really fitting in, in high school kind of feeling like an outsider in a way. And just like in social situations, not feeling nearly as confident and as I’d like to feel more feeling anxious and doubting myself and comparing myself to other people and feeling like I’m worthless and things like that. So I’d say it was kind of the the the pain from the past that really, kind of slingshot me into this. This path of self discovery and self self improvement, self development and working on my confidence.
David Ralph [3:42]
But how do you teach somebody to be confident?
Jack Peterson [3:47]
In my sessions, I help people see and understand that everything in their reality is a reflection of them. And so whenever there’s something there not satisfied in their life, whether it’s a relationship or you know, they they want a certain goal, or they’re just not satisfied in any area. It’s usually a reflection of them. And so I help them trace back all of these gaps or insecurities, if you will, to help them discover a deeper truth, which always leads back to them and a place within themselves that they’re not satisfied with, or, or a blind spot they have that they’re not even aware of.
David Ralph [4:32]
I don’t want to sort of come over all all high and mighty, really, but I’ve never had a problem with competence. So I always find it amazing when when somebody says, because I’m listening to you on the show now. And I’m thinking, how could he not be competent? He’s come on a show like this with a complete stranger. And he’s answering questions, but he doesn’t know what I’m going to ask him. Surely he was always competent in and you’re saying if you go back in time was was was there a key point in your life when you actually went, and we called it out Big Dot, when you really went, this is the moment when I need to make movements and take action. But you kind of remember thinking, I’ve got to do something here, this, this is not a good situation that I’m in because of my competence level.
Jack Peterson [5:23]
Um, let’s see, there’s a few memories that come to mind, I’d say one of the most. There was there’s two girls in high school. As you kind of mentioned on the intro, my biggest insecurities were kind of showed up big with women. And that was one of the areas that I really was not satisfied with my ability to track whether women I was interested in and there is, let’s see, okay, I’ll tell a quick storey about this one girl in my freshman year of high school. And I was really into her and, and for a few months, but I never really communicated that to her. And so we’re in her eyes, we’re just friends. And eventually, I built up the courage. It took me about maybe 15 minutes to build up the courage, but I eventually opened her dorm room door and went in to try to kiss her. And she was like, What are you doing? I thought we were just friends, like, I think of you as a brother. And that was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and just really stuck into my head. And after that, I’d say, that motivated me to try to figure out like, first off, I thought something was wrong with me. And then just trying to figure out like, what’s really going on here? Why aren’t these women I’m interested attracted to me? Well, as
David Ralph [6:58]
you went from notice, 60 maybe you should, you should? Yeah, but build up to that, and not just sort of steamed in it. Right?
Jack Peterson [7:05]
It was almost,
David Ralph [7:06]
it’s almost like he was like a coiled spring that once you took the action, you just yeah, you just swung you should have gone in there and said, Do you realise you? You probably don’t, but I really like you and see where the land lies, not just go in there and, and grab hold.
Jack Peterson [7:21]
Exactly. And this was this was about seven years ago. So it was a while ago. And you’re right, I should have been honest and upfront, you know, when I started having feelings for her, I should have been up front with, with what was really going on. And over many years of working on things, I’ve learned that the best thing, the best way to deal with relationships, and attraction and everything is to, to be up front and be honest and be deeply truthful with what’s really going on and, and communicating when certain things come up and coming indicating your feelings when it comes up.
David Ralph [8:02]
But wasn’t that situation just normal. We’ve all been in situations where there’s somebody that we really liked. And we liked so strongly that we were frightened to do anything. And as adults, you kind of look back on it. And you think, why didn’t you just go and do this and do that or whatever. But at a time It feels real doesn’t it feels as a scary thing, but this person is going to laugh at you or or say something bad or whatever. So isn’t that just normal? Not not that you you know, you were suffering from lack of competence. You were just normal? I’m
Jack Peterson [8:37]
not I don’t know if I sound like a huge fan of the word normal. No offence, but it, it just, it’s like what does that mean? Like, what is normal per se?
David Ralph [8:50]
Like this sort of general vibe, okay, we all have emotions, we all have feelings. We all have these fears and insecurities. And if possible to close up and put a label on it just for this show. You know? Yeah. And we would say that’s the normal way of life. That’s how the majority of us feel.
Jack Peterson [9:11]
Okay, so basically, like, we’ve all been there, we’ve all had a moment, like an embarrassing moment like that. Yeah, absolutely. Um, yeah, uh,
so sorry, what was the question again?
David Ralph [9:25]
Well, what wasn’t? Was it just, quote unquote, a normal thing, it wasn’t a case that you was lacking competence. It was, you were just going through what everyone else goes through. And some people had the ability to act on it. And other people don’t do anything. And being our God, my mates now going out with her. And I miss my opportunity.
Jack Peterson [9:48]
Yeah, and that’s, that’s what was prior to that. That’s what was going on. I was never, I never built up the courage to communicate girls, I was really into them, or whatever, ask them out on a date or, or eventually, like, make a move on them. I had a lot of fear on that. And I would just kind of freeze in my fear. And so this was kind of actually kind of a big moment for Yeah, it was a very big moment for me was I was finally going for going to make a move and and looking back on it, I see, like, I was doing that for myself, like I, I knew I had so much resistance around, you know, making a move on a woman in the past that I was like, all right, I need to do this. And it really took me about 1520 minutes to build up the courage. But um, I wind up doing it.
David Ralph [10:41]
But that that, you know, you might have done it the wrong way, looking back on it, you you really just dis Calm down, jack just come down. Yeah. But it was a good thing, wasn’t it? It was that crack, it was overcome here and aspect of fear, which limits so many people, and we all have these fears, we will have these fears. As we say, in the dating world, we have these fears about if we go for this job, we’re not going to get it so we don’t go for it, we have these fears that we’re going to quit our job and never get another never job again. So let’s just stay in a rubbish situation that we’re in, we all have these beers on a daily basis. And you probably you, you conquered, or you at least made a crack in the most emotional of the fears when you are dealing with the opposite sex, at that time of your life, when, you know, your emotions are all over the shop and stuff.
Jack Peterson [11:34]
Yeah. And the reason I’m,
like I kind of focused on women for a while, like I even would kind of after that a few years after that experience, I would actually go out and to really try to conquer my fear around, you know, talking to women. And I would I did it for years actually just kind of approaching women during the day and at night, really just to, I realised looking back on it now is doing it for myself, to be able to push through that fear that was there. And basically, in my life, I feel like whenever there’s something I’m really afraid of like, I don’t feel free, it feels like, you know, it feels very constraining. And ultimately, what I’ve found is what I want in my life above all else is to be myself fully and to have, you know, the ultimate freedom. And so whenever a fear comes up it you know, it actually attracts my attention, because it’s like, oh, what is that? Like? Why am I afraid of that? What’s going on? Why? Why do I contract when that comes around? So I really spent a lot of time on that to break through my own fears in that area.
David Ralph [12:55]
Did you now believe in the logic that the fears, actually your body showing you the way to go almost like a compass?
Jack Peterson [13:04]
Yeah. Yeah, I was actually at this retreat a few weeks ago. And one of the guys showed me a very interesting, very useful way of looking at fear very similar to what you just said, is it it guides you to where you need to go almost. And he actually had me grab his arm. And, you know, he had any resistance. So like, try to pull it but then he was pulling back. And so I couldn’t really do much. It was just a lot of resistance. But then he said, Well, what if you deal with a fear like this, and then I started pulling, and he just started going with me. And and basically, I was the metaphor for the fear. And then he was he was me, basically. So I was pulling them. And I was swinging them around the room and just taking them all around. And he would just go with it. And so that was like a metaphor for fear is just like surrender to it. Let it let it guide you let it take you and see see where it see where you end up. So you see where it takes you. And what I found is that it’s always there’s always something there for me. There’s always there’s always a reason I’m afraid. But pretty much every time across the board. The fear itself is scarier than the actual thing.
David Ralph [14:23]
Paper time. Have you heard of paper? Tigers?
Jack Peterson [14:27]
paper? Tigers? Yeah.
David Ralph [14:28]
No, it what’s scarier? A tiger in your head or a tiger in a cage? I say to you, jack. Yeah, go into a cage of tigers. And you’d be quite right to go. No, I’m not doing that. But if you think about tigers, then what’s the fear? And unfortunately for us, all our fears are in our head. And they are paper Tigers or fault tigers, you know that they’re never gonna hurt you. But they hold you in place. Right? Yeah. And
Jack Peterson [15:04]
Jim Carrey actually said something in his recent commencement speech what it was, I thought was brilliant. And he said very similar. Yeah, what’s scarier? Like a dog in your head? Or an actual doctor? Or he said, a dog that’s going to eat you in your head or an actual dog that’s going to eat you?
David Ralph [15:20]
And what do you think by that? I know you laughed when you said that. And, you know, he’s he’s obviously a funny, man. But yeah, that is so obviously true, isn’t it?
Jack Peterson [15:33]
Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of times, I mean, the funny thing about fear is, it’s, when we’re really afraid of something, it literally feels like facing death. And what I’ve learned from one of my greatest mentors is to be able to kind of build a skill and build the muscle to be able to face death, what your mind thinks is death. Because usually, when you’re afraid of something, it, the mind thinks of it actually as death. So the mind thinks of it as a dog that’s going to eat you or a lion, or going into a cage of lions. But in reality, that’s not the case. I mean, unless you’re actually going into a cage of lions. Usually, we don’t, most people don’t do that. But so the mind thinks of it, as, you know, the worst case scenario, like you’re gonna die dogs and eat you or it’s Death to the mind. Whereas in reality, once you actually do the thing, once I actually go talk to that girl I’m interested in or, you know, four months ago, I did something that was pretty scary at first, I quit my job. And you know, on the other side of it, it’s it’s never as scary as your mind. Thanks that it will be. That is
David Ralph [17:01]
that is the message to this episode, anyone out there who’s listening in, and you’re thinking of doing something, or you’re thinking or asking someone out of a date, or whatever, the worst you’re going to get is either a no, or Yes, that might be great. Or you might enjoy it or whatever, you really just need to do it. And I know, it’s so easy to say that, because you know, I’ve been in situations where I’ve been routed to the spot, and I haven’t done what I should be doing at that time, for whatever reason. But now, I totally believe that when you are scared, it is your way is your body’s way of saying, if you take this step, you’re actually growing, you’re actually moving yourself out of where you are anchored to the spot, anchored to your situation, anchored to your financial incomings. I am your salary, and you’re giving yourself a chance to move on to a better future. And we’re scared of that we’re totally scared. But you feel that, that that ball in your stomach, and that that worried feeling and that the sort of sleepless nights. And every time now, but I feel that, yes, it still scares me. But that is what I action on. And I focus in on that, and I do it. And the best things in my life have happened. Now, I just can’t believe the improvement due to the fact that every time I’m scared, I confront it. And something amazing happens when I take that one step.
Jack Peterson [18:39]
That’s great, David. And one more thing about fear.
I there’s a quote, fear is excitement without the breath. And so I like to think of sign of the game, the easy year without the breath. So usually, when you’re really afraid, you know, you either go in a state of fight or flight or you freeze, I think it’s very common to freeze and fear I, I did that I’ve done that a lot in my past just kind of freeze, and just kind of sit there and just be afraid. But usually, almost all you know, always across the board, when you’re afraid your breath is very shallow. And you’re certainly not breathing into I don’t know, if you’ve done any breathing exercises, or breathing practices, but
David Ralph [19:33]
not practice breathing, I’ve been quite good at it since I was born.
Jack Peterson [19:38]
Well, there’s, there’s a lot of breathing practices, even some Eastern practices, that’s all about just breathing deeply into your body and just flowing energy. And a lot of times when we’re breathing, very one more afraid or breathing very shallow. But if we get present and start breathing fully, like all the way down into our belly, it helps us get more present because breathing is always in the present moment, right. And so that’s why a lot of time. A lot of people who practice meditation, to stay in the present moment and not be thinking about the past or worrying about the future. Breathing helps us come back into the present moment. And, and always in when we’re afraid we’re projecting something into the future, right? Like, oh, if there’s a really attractive woman, and I want to talk to her, but I’m afraid of getting rejected like that, that hasn’t actually happened, right? It’s it’s a projection into the future. So you know, another thing, like, I want to quit my job, but I’m afraid of, you know, not having income anymore. Those are all projections like. And they’re not necessarily true in that present moment. So once you become, come back to the present moment, and breathing is a great tool to do that breathe deeply all the way into your belly, you know, for three minutes or more, that brings you into the present moment. And the fear actually kind of turns on its axis. And it turns into excitement a lot of the times. And, you know, when you’re afraid you feel very alive, it’s a very powerful feeling, right? You can feel it all throughout your body. So if you can think of it more as excitement, like oh, my God, like, Yeah, I’d actually love to talk to that woman, because she’s super attractive. And I would love to get to know her. Or, you know, actually, I would really love to quit my job right now. Because, you know, or maybe I’ll give my boss you know, months notice or something because I actually have a lot of other dreams and goals that I want to pursue. And I have all these skills and talents that aren’t being utilised at this job. And I would love to explore, you know, other areas of life, things like that. So it can actually, I think of it fear when you turn it on its axis, it’s actually excitement.
David Ralph [21:55]
I think I think you’re right, I do think you’re right. And it is, it’s a mindset, you’ve got to change the way you think about these things. And just do it once, and then do it twice and do it three times. And you will find all the most successful people in the world. It doesn’t matter who you’re speaking to a scared, and some of them are scared on a daily basis. I remember hearing an article with Paul McCartney. And he said even you know, a Beatles, he was terrified going out on stage. He said that once I was out there, it was all right. But he every single gig before we went out there and you think really Paul McCartney, you should just be able to walk out there and do what you need to do. But he has that fear. And Barack Obama every morning puts the suit on a things right? Am I going to be able to answer these questions today? Am I going to be able to do that? It’s just normal, you just need to confront it. As you did you confronted. And what I’m interested in is just jumping back. Because as we said in the introduction, you strive to be the best in all aspects of your life. And you’ve done that by studying these these top guys. When did this idea come to you that we’ve already sort of realised that you felt that you needed to do something about yourself personally, you also felt that your reality was down to you. So you decided to change your reality by focusing in on the successful men. Which, which man did you choose first.
Unknown Speaker [23:22]
Unknown Speaker [23:27]
Jack Peterson [23:30]
just whoever I could find at the time because I was really I felt like I was, I was pretty desperate. And you know, I honestly found this guy named David D’Angelo, that was his pen name, actually. His real name is actually Evan pagan. He’s a very good internet marketer, and he had some, some dating products to help you with your confidence around dating and understanding women, things like that. And then I found some other guys as well, looking back on them, I don’t consider them the greatest mentors, per se. But they were good for me at the time. But it evolved as I
kind of started learning from
these guys and reading,
I learned the value of having a mentor. And, you know, seeking out men that I want to learn from and seeking out, you know, people who have experienced and are embodying you know, what I want more of in my life, you know, more confidence, or, you know, I want to start my own business or things like that. And so it started me off in this path of seeking out mentors. And then I eventually started my website, highly conscious, man. And that’s exactly what I did on there. I started interviewing men who I think would be great role models for me and for the everyone listening,
David Ralph [25:00]
find them because reaching out to somebody, especially to bring them onto a show is scary. And it’s scary for everyone, even you know, the rock stars out there to ask a complete stranger to Hey, will you help me? Will you come on my show? And you are doing that at a time when your competence was not at the highest level that it could be? So you really had to reach down deep to be able to send that email and and connect with these people? How did you do that? Tell us the process?
Jack Peterson [25:33]
Uh, yeah, I was I was very scared. And I was I was dealing with some self doubts, like, well, who am I to reach out to these guys? Like, what? Why would they be interested in you know, being on jack Peterson’s podcast? Like, I’m a nobody right now. Like, and so I was I was definitely dealing with doubts. But you know, something deep down inside told me like, you need to do this, like, I don’t care. You know, if you fail, or if you’re nervous, like, you need to do this for yourself. This is this is what you really want. And worst case scenario, they can say no, you know, or they don’t respond. And that’s not a big deal. Then I can ask someone else to interview.
David Ralph [26:17]
Have you had anyone that said no, to you?
Unknown Speaker [26:21]
David Ralph [26:23]
Just just a flat. No.
Jack Peterson [26:26]
Uh, or like, Oh, I’m not. I can’t do it now. But get back to me. Like, I think one guy even said get back to me in a year. So that basically felt like a No,
David Ralph [26:37]
no, I’m I would just think that’s it. That’s a yes. But later.
Jack Peterson [26:42]
It could be Yeah. But, yeah. A year later. That’s a while from now.
David Ralph [26:46]
He’s, he’s, he’s but he’s not as long as two years is it? Right, right. Because I’ve never had a know I’ve had responses, like you just said, I’m really busy at the moment, my focus is on other things, these content, yeah, the end of the year, or whatever. I had one of those today. And I just went back to him and said, Yep, no problem at all. Thanks very much. I’ll contact you in November. And he came back and said, looking forward to it. And the thing that I want to get to the listeners here is what you are doing is extraordinary. Because even with the competence level of somebody who is successful, reaching out to people who don’t know you, is a scary, scary process. And you have pushed through from an area but quite often you wouldn’t have pushed through from you wouldn’t have seen other people doing what you’re doing, saying to people, I know I’m not the finished article, I have a dream that I want to do. But actually, personally, there’s, there’s work that needs to be done. But I’m still going to put my head above the parapet and get an online presence and get you to talk to me on the mic, a stranger coming to me and I’m in control. I’m asking the questions I’m having to do to sort of speed work and stuff. That is an extraordinary thing that you did. And I don’t know if you realise how much that was an effort to actually break down those things.
Jack Peterson [28:15]
Yeah, and it was, it was very scary at first I I
yeah, it was dealing with a lot of fear and things like that. And, and even like one of my biggest fears is public speaking. And it really felt really felt like public speaking even though it’s really just talking to a computer. But it felt scary, because I knew I was going to put this out to the world. So I yeah, I was I was definitely very nervous, especially for, I’d say the first 10 or so podcasts, I was dealing with a lot of a lot of anxiety, and I would even so much so that I would I would write out everything that I wanted to say, especially the intro, I had the intro written out. And I had all my questions written out so that if I got nervous, I could still go back to the script. And I could say it that way. And I did that for I think like the first 10 or so episodes, until I gained confidence after that, with the experience of, of pushing through those fears and realising that, you know, on the other side, I’m still alive, I’m still breathing, you know, it’s okay, I’m not gonna die. Anyways, after about 10 or so of those episodes, then I started doing it more organically and just just having a conversation conversations with the people and going off the script a lot more.
David Ralph [29:33]
Did you have a webcam on when you’re doing it?
Jack Peterson [29:37]
Yes, I did.
David Ralph [29:38]
Because as we were doing it now we’re recording over Skype and right. Jackie’s in somewhere in the middle. I don’t even know where you are. Where are you jack?
Jack Peterson [29:47]
The Bay Area, California
David Ralph [29:48]
boy, okay, so we dislike you even more. He’s out there in California, the sun is shining up. And it’s a beautiful day out there. There’s beautiful women running everywhere around you. And that’s the image that’s the image we’re gonna have jack. But But you’re out there we’re recording and I never had the webcam on I like it to be. I like it to be a conversation. I don’t like to see movement, I find it hard to actually focus on you moving around while I’m listening to you. So that’s why when we record here, I don’t have any webcam going on at all. And I state that because once again, I would find that that difficult to have somebody looking right back at me on a webcam. Yeah, if I’m already struggling with certain issues about even recording the podcast, right.
Jack Peterson [30:42]
And another thing is you’re when you’re being when you’re on a webcam, you’re supposed to look at the camera so that it looks like you’re looking at the the viewer basically. So that’s a little weird, too, because you’re just kind of looking at the camera the whole time, that was a challenge as well.
David Ralph [30:57]
I think you’ve broken so many dots down, I’m going to play the words of Steve Jobs now because it is important, and we play it on the show. But I can see, I can see your journey already. And it’s a journey that might be accelerating as you become more highly conscious. But it is a journey that can be plotted back. So these are the words of Steve Jobs. And then we’ll have a quick chat afterwards.
Steve Jobs [31:21]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [31:56]
I tell you what I think Mr. Peters and I think that your one of the rare personalities I’ve had on the show, but can not only connect their Dots Join Up Dots. But I think that you’ve been making your own dots as well. I think that you’ve actually it hasn’t been a natural path for you. It’s been something that you worked at So, so heavily and put all your efforts in that you have actually done what he said, but you’ve kind of drawn in little dots in the middle. What you think
Jack Peterson [32:32]
so so you’re saying I created my own dots?
David Ralph [32:35]
Yeah, I think I think you you added stepping stones, I think where your your dots might have gone off in a different direction, or maybe hadn’t moved you to the park, you are now because of your efforts because of your strong will, because of your mindset, you’ve actually created those dots to be able to get you into this position. I think there’s a lot of people out there, that wouldn’t have got to where you are today, because they wouldn’t have had mindset to focus on. Now Steve Jobs is talking about trust and faith and you know, going with the flow and seeing what’s happening. I think you’re slightly different. I think that you’ve actually created your path.
Jack Peterson [33:15]
Like, like plan for the plan into the future. Right from them create the dots.
David Ralph [33:20]
Yeah, right from the bat.
Jack Peterson [33:21]
Yeah, let’s see.
I am quite a visionary. I do look into the future and come up with all kinds of ideas of things that I want to do, and envision what I want. And, you know, yeah, you’re right in,
in a way because especially this past year, so
I’ve been focusing, learning a lot about manifestation actually. I don’t know if you know too much about that. But basically, envisioning what I want to create in the future and visually envisioning the man, I want to be envisioning the reality that I want for myself. And really feeling that and feeling that as I go out into the world, and what I’ve seen is that things actually come to me. And this has been more and more true, as I’ve continued on this path. Just an example is I set a goal this summer to actually start performing piano actually in singing, which, once again, has been one of my biggest fears is performing and singing in front of an audience. But already, three people in the Bay Area have mentioned that they they, they play jazz, and they’d be happy to like, help me and teach me.
Another example, is that, isn’t it?
David Ralph [34:52]
That is, and yeah, that’s another adult that you are creating for yourself.
Jack Peterson [34:57]
Yeah, and I set that intention. A few weeks ago, I said, you know, this summer, I want to really work on my piano skills and singing skills, because I’ve always wanted to do that. Why not start now? You know, why not? Why wait till later when I’m retired? Or, you know, whatever. In the future? Let’s Let’s do it. Now, while I’m young. And, and yeah, I feel like I did create that.
David Ralph [35:20]
When you were working with your clients and your coaching and mentoring them? Are there commonalities that run through all of them? Can you see kind of younger versions of yourself? So you can go Yes, I was bad. I know exactly what you were feeling? Or I’ve got a good idea. I know what you’re feeling. Subsequently, I can help you because x y, Zed? Or is it a case about you? You help them by planting the seeds in their mind for them to actually come up with their own answers?
Jack Peterson [35:55]
Yes, you’re definitely correct. I’ve seen just about across the
all my clients that I’ve worked with have,
have, like, have similar storeys to me, or are in a similar place in life where they’re stuck in one way or another with their confidence, you know, their relationships. And are in a very similar place that I used to be in, you know, you know, a few years ago, or at one point in my life I was in, and I figured out a way to get out, and, you know, live more fully and more fulfilled and, and really get what I wanted. So yes, you’re definitely correct on that. And I feel like that’s, in one way or another, why they’re drawn to me is because they can energetically kind of feel that I was there, or maybe they listen to my podcast, and they, they relate to what I’m talking about. And they’re curious about, like how I got to where I am today and things like that. One actually will, woman who I’ve been working with my first female client, we have very similar upbringing in a way and kind of similar dynamic with our parents actually, and just kind of, we have a lot of similarities in our, in our whole life, our whole, like, our whole life, storey. And for that reason, I feel very capable to help her on every call with whatever comes up, because I can relate to her so much. And we have so many similarities. And I feel like she’s gotten the most out of the coaching experience than almost any other clients I’ve had, just because I feel like we have so many similarities. And I’ve obviously put in a tonne of work to kind of move past those things in my own life. And I can share that with her with how I did it and everything and what worked for me.
David Ralph [37:52]
And you’ll gain some accountability as well, because I do these daily shows, and I’m having amazing motivational conversations with people time and time and time and time and time again. And there’s some people that I think God, you know, you’re absolutely crushing it the amount of money you must be earning, but you been realised, but they’re the same as me that just on a different timeline, they’ve actually started earlier than me, or they’ve, they’ve, you know, more talented or what ever. And I think there must be when you’re talking to these people, you must be improving yourself as well, it’s actually coaching for you, because the conversations are so deep, but when you are helping them along, there must be moments that you go. I know, I just said that. But that’s kind of the first time I’ve ever really thought that myself, it’s almost like my subconscious working. And I’m now reflecting on what I’ve just said.
Jack Peterson [38:51]
Yeah, and, and, you know, they say like, if you really want to learn something, well teach it. And so that’s kind of what we’re doing my cause I teach what I’ve learned, and I, I, you know, give my, you know, all the things that I’ve learned along my journey, and share that with her and help her apply it to her life. And in the process, I am learning and I am kind of remembering things from the past and kind of re enter integrating that into myself like, moment to moment as we’re discussing. And a lot of times out in the world. You know, in normal conversations, I don’t talk about this stuff. And you know, all the progress I’ve made and how I did it and things like that. So it is, it is a really
effective way to learn more deeply. What
what I’ve experienced in my own life,
David Ralph [39:55]
when you when you look back at your life, was the reality of it, we started with that the reality is down to us. But as a small child, you are kind of programmed by your situation, you’re programmed by what people say to you. So when you’re really small, the reality isn’t really down to you. It’s, it’s what you’re living, and you’re a five year old, six year old, and you’re running around and doing what you need to do you think that your situation was brought on by your real younger self. And you extended that to become the person that you were at teenage years, when you when you started to sort of decide that you needed to do something about that? Or was it something that that took you by surprise later on.
Unknown Speaker [40:45]
Jack Peterson [40:47]
let’s see. So when I, when I was younger, when I was a kid, I’m, you know, I’ll talk about this is pretty recently, like, in the past month or so I, I realised through some, just recently just kind of connecting the dots actually, in the past few months, even what certain things people have said to me, I came to realise that I lost the playful side, in me kind of kind of the child within me. The part of me that, you know, plays and is very, is very creative, and imaginative, and just wants to have fun. to a large degree, I kind of disconnected from that part of me in the past five to 10 years. And I realised just because I was so focused on school, work and homework and work and making money, and all this kind of masculine type energy. And so recently, I’ve been kind of connecting back to clay. And I’ve actually to kind of challenge myself because I like to do that. I’m doing 30 days of play. So every day I’m doing something that is fun, that is creative, that opens up my imagination and is just I’m just really enjoyable. And so I’ve been doing a lot of things to kind of reconnect to back to my child, the kind of the child within me, and I’m seeing that I’m really connecting to energy, like I’m feeling like a kid again, understandably. But I’m feeling the value of that creative flow. And I’m also expressing it with my piano playing and singing. And it’s just really making life feel more magical and more creative. And there’s so much more just like juice to life, for lack of a better word.
David Ralph [42:57]
Yeah. Because this text, today’s show is connecting our pasts by building our future. And by looking back at the early version of yourself to a man and a woman. And I’ve asked this question so many times. But if you’re a writer, I go, you know, did you used to write as Oh yeah, I used to write when I was five or six years old. But when I went into a job, and I stopped writing, yeah, I came back to it. Or Yeah, I used to play the piano when I was a kid. And then for some reason, it wasn’t cool. So we stopped playing the piano. And it almost seems bad, our true unique path, the thing that we should be doing in life, the thing that we do naturally, well, that provides value to people we enjoy is easy. And, you know, puts us in a state of flow so that ours will pass are the things that we used to do when we were little. And when we stopped doing them. And I saw a thing the other day or somebody told me and it comes back to your playful side or losing the playful side. Apparently, if you analyse like five year olds later law 34 times a day or something, if you analyse 34 year olds, they laugh twice a day. And it’s true. I don’t often laugh. It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that you do lose that playful element. And if we can tap back into that, as you’re doing, you really do find the place that you can start moving on to a better future.
Jack Peterson [44:23]
Yeah. Yo, David, I recommend you. If you’re up for it, I’d
recommend you try. Try skipping try.
David Ralph [44:34]
I wasn’t expecting you to say that.
Jack Peterson [44:36]
I know. Yeah, I did it the other day. And it was
David Ralph [44:40]
one of my video, which is kind of like skipping
Jack Peterson [44:43]
everyone with a rope or just skipping on the sidewalk or even just in your backyard. Like, try skipping and you’ll see like, you can’t not, like feel like a kid and like smile. It’s It’s interesting, it really brings you brings you back to your childhood. Some other things I’ve done. Let’s see, simply singing, just singing, singing funny songs, or just songs that you enjoy whistling. So if you’re like walking down the street, just just whistle.
And let’s see playing playing piano.
And then yesterday, I did something
that was definitely pushing my edge. In terms of kind of facing a fear I when I was a child, I also I always used to love to do like pranks. And I thought it was really fun. And just like kind of challenging and adventurous. So yesterday, I came up with the idea to do something funny and try to make someone’s day and actually went to the local Whole Foods grocery store. And I went up to a woman and I proposed to her. And I had my buddy record it. And it was really funny because she has she had a sense of humour. And she was going along with it and just like having fun with it. And I totally made her smile. And then we hugged her afterwards. And it was great.
David Ralph [46:19]
sheets. To you, jack, you don’t remember, but you try to kiss me all those years ago. And it was Wouldn’t it wouldn’t have been amazing. That would have been adjoining dots that you’d remember for the rest of your life.
Jack Peterson [46:32]
Yeah, maybe maybe we would have gotten married? Yeah, I don’t know.
David Ralph [46:36]
So it was. So when you walked up to this woman, and I’m gonna bring you to the end of the show now. But when you walked up to them was a realisation in your head. But really, this is getting a little bit weird. You know, I’m breaking down areas of limitation and restraint VAT. And I’m going to use this word again, and you’re not going to like it. But normal people wouldn’t do you know, I’ve never, I’ve never known anyone to walk up to a complete stranger and propose to them. So it’s almost like you’re taking it to a level. That is a bit crazy, isn’t it? It’s good, because it really does push you out your comfort zones, and you are going to go on to bigger and better things. But that’s it. That’s a weird way of doing it or in my head, you’re perfectly in your mind to say no, it’s absolutely what I should be doing. And I’m not you know, I’m not stating anything. On the contrary. But um, that was weird with it.
Jack Peterson [47:38]
Yeah, so I did, I felt, you know, my friend and I were kind of walking around. And, you know, we talked about it before, and I even told him like, I’m nervous right now, like, this feels kind of strange. Understandably, so I was basically feeling my own boundaries. And my own conditioning, because from my perception, I believe, I believe truly we are we are limitless. And we don’t, we don’t have boundaries, the only boundaries we have, we have created for ourselves. Whether it’s, you know, society, or I was even talking to my friend at the grocery store, like, at this grocery store, there’s a culture right now of, Oh, you know, everyone’s just buying food here. And, you know, there’s not gonna be anything out of the ordinary. And, you know, you know, there’s not going to be like a huge party right now. Everyone’s just kind of minding their own business and things like that. There’s, there’s almost a culture to this atmosphere right now. And basically, what I was doing is I was going in there and creating my own atmosphere, and really feeling limitless, like, I can do anything I want right now, there’s nothing. There’s no one that can tell me that I can’t unless I don’t know, there’s a police officer or something. But even still, just really,
feeling my own
limitless potential. Realising that I can, you know, if I choose to, I can truly be free. And I can do whatever I want in this moment. And I wanted to push that boundary because I did feel my boundaries. That’s why I was getting nervous. That’s why I was afraid. I was feeling it all throughout my body. I felt in many I’ve, we’ve all felt it many times before. But I was like, you know, I’m, I don’t have to fall prey to these boundaries. I don’t have to be jailed by these boundaries. I can, I can truly, you know, be be limitless. And so that’s kind of what was my challenge. And, you know, it felt fun to me. And I felt like I also kind of made that Woman’s Day I felt, you know, she’ll probably remember that for a long time. And I made her smile, and we hugged and, you know, it was it was fun. So that was kind of my intention. I’m proud of you, jack.
David Ralph [49:56]
I, I’m very proud of you. I only met you tonight. But I just see that the journey that you’ve been on, as I said earlier, is one of effort and commitment. And I’m convinced that you’re going to go on to bigger and bigger things, and probably proposed to somebody in a supermarket again. And she has say yes to you, and then you won’t be able to back out of it. And you think oh my god, what about done? What would you have done? Did she actually say yes.
Jack Peterson [50:24]
I actually, I had this little box and she said she wanted to see the ring and I opened up and there wasn’t a ring inside. So you cheap. JACK Peterson. I gotta remember to bring a ring next time.
David Ralph [50:39]
Yeah. No. So this is the end of the show. And this is the bit when I want to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. We call it a sermon on the mind. But if you did go back in time, what advice would you give the younger jack? And what age would you choose? Would you choose the five year old the 11 year old or maybe the jack who just waiting outside that Gail’s door to go in and and chances are so I’m going to play the music. And when it finishes you’re on this is the Sermon on the mic
Unknown Speaker [51:19]
of the show.
Jack Peterson [51:37]
What I would say to the younger Jack Peterson I’ll go back to younger jack in the sixth grade. And I would tell him that it’s Oh, it’s okay to be afraid it’s okay to it’s okay to have self doubts. It’s It’s okay just except that you’re afraid of the the outside environment and. And once you accept that, you can fully feel that and and dissolve it and get to the other side. And once you get to the other side of your fear, I encourage you to listen to the voice within you above all else, and trust that voice. And one of my favourite quotes is follow your bliss. And really, really follow that the feeling inside yourself that that guides you the feeling that you often some you often feel in your gut and follow that feeling above all else, and it will never lead you wrong. And trust the guidance within you.
David Ralph [53:06]
So Jack Peterson, how can people connect with you?
Jack Peterson [53:11]
People can connect with me on Facebook, I’m very active on Facebook, I post a lot of I’ve been posting these these videos have play every day for the for the past 10 days of me doing silly things. And connecting to my inner child again. So connect with me on Facebook, just search for jack Peterson You can also connect with me through my website, which is called highly conscious man. And you can connect with me on the contact page there or you can type your your email in the opt in and all it’ll automatically send you my free ebook called the guide to greatness. And it talks a lot about in this book, How to a lot of what we talked about on this podcast is how to understand you know fears and things that hold you back and understand your your ego and conditioning of kind of things you’ve learned that are holding you back from being your fullest self out in the world and really living and accomplishing your dreams and your goals. And the book really covers that quite thoroughly. So I urge you to visit there. I also have a lot of past articles that I’ve written and interviews with a lot of amazing people who I who I feel are great role models to look up to
David Ralph [54:48]
well with all those on the show notes so people can go over to your site and have a look around. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I believe the only way to build our futures is by connecting our paths. JACK Peterson Thank you so much.
Jack Peterson [55:07]
Thank you so much, David, this is a lot of fun.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.