Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Mr Jerry Hyde
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Introducing Jerry Hyde
In fact it seems to me his whole life is built around the use of stories.
He weaves them into amazing effective ways that can help us all unlock the doors and remove the obstacles that we find in front of us time and time again.
Doors to a life that is as much play as work, and as much work as play.
Being in the music and film industry for over 18 years , Jerry Hyde has developed an approach that works well for creative types across the globe.
They flock to his warehouse in Seven Kings London.
How The Dots Joined Up For Jerry
Its an unusual approach which for many might seem a bit strange….in fact after reading his personal website, he seems to thrive by being, well, slightly out of the mainstream shall we say!
As he says
“People ask me what I do and I always hesitate – I was a psychotherapist for 13 years, then I tried calling myself a coach.
I’ve been to India and trained in Tantra but that doesn’t quite qualify me to call myself a Guru.
I’ve been buried alive and fasted in the wilderness for days on end but that doesn’t quite make me a Shaman
… and Psycho-therapeutic Shamanic Coaching Guru is a real mouthful”
So lets find out what he calls himself today, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs in todays podcast, the author of “Play from your f***ing heart” the one and only Jerry Hyde!
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Jerry Hyde such as:
How sport was never a thing in his life, and he would think “If you want the ball just go and take it!”
How he believes that life is out of control, and he thrives on the spontaneity of what life throws at him!
How sleeping in a grave overnight was not what he thought it would be…it was just a bad nights sleep!
How he pinches himself that his life is just about chatting with people and getting paid for it!
The reasons why he takes the unusual steps of telling his clients that he doesn’t have a clue to what he is doing!
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Audio Transcription Of Jerry Hyde Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Yes, hello there. Hello, world. Hope we are all right, hope we’re rocking and rolling. And we are grabbing those dream lives that we’re trying to inspire you to do on a daily basis. I’ve got a chap today who is from the UK. I love speaking to people in UK. It’s funny, I enjoy it more on the mic when I do generally in life. I don’t know why that is. But I have a kind of different way of responding to questions when you don’t get from, from the lovely Americans and the Australians. Um, he’s a chap from the UK. And he’s certainly got an interesting storey to tell. In fact, it seems to me his whole life is built around the use of storeys, weaving them into amazing effective ways that can help us all unlock the doors, and remove the obstacles that we find in front of us time and time again, doors to our life. But I suppose it is as much play as work and as much work as play. Being in the music and film industry for over 18 years. He’s developed an approach it works well for creative types across the globe. We’ve flocked to his warehouse in seven kings London. It’s an unusual approach, which for many might seem a bit strange. In fact, after reading his personal website, he seems to be as opposed to thriving really, on being slightly out of the mainstream, shall we say, as he says, people ask me what I do. And I always hesitate. I was a psychotherapist for 13 years when I tried calling myself a coach. I’ve been to India and trained in Tantra, but that doesn’t quite qualify me to call myself a guru. And I’ve been buried alive and fasted in the wilderness for days on end, but that doesn’t quite make me a shaman. And psychotherapeutic share manic coaching you is a real mouthful. Blimey maze, I did that. So let’s find out what he calls himself today as we bring onto the show to start joining the dots and he’s the author of play from your effing heart. But one and only Jerry Hyde, how are you Jerry?
Jerry Hyde [2:09]
Hi David. I’m good. How’s it going?
David Ralph [2:11]
It going rocking and rolling? Well, you’re just up the road from me which we could almost I could almost put my hand out the window and we could touch I don’t know if that’s a good thing for you.
Jerry Hyde [2:21]
Well, I don’t know if I should, I should say congratulations or commiserate with you. But I quite like Tottenham personally.
David Ralph [2:28]
You actually a Tottenham supporter.
Jerry Hyde [2:30]
No, I don’t support any sport whatsoever. I don’t like
David Ralph [2:36]
I’m not even a glimpse of one little thing that occasionally you might think to yourself, oh, I you know, you’ve been in the pub. And as I get it,
Jerry Hyde [2:45]
I couldn’t get it when I was a kid, you know you made to run around in mud a lot. And I’m in the cold and the word in in really inappropriate clothing. What inadequate clothing and I always felt if you really want that ball that badly. Have it is fun to take it I you know, it’s just not I couldn’t I couldn’t get attached to that, you know, running around after an inflated bladder and risking life and limb really because especially in some of those sports people people get very, very excited about
David Ralph [3:21]
I can understand that. Totally. You’re from the UK. So you obviously went through the school system as I did.
Jerry Hyde [3:26]
Yeah, I mean, bench beach volley ball in in California. I can see there might be an appeal to that. But you know, rugby, rugby in November, when when there’s snow on the ground. It’s what? Sorry, not it’s not for me.
David Ralph [3:40]
No rugby was my Achilles heel at school. That was the one but you used to go onto pitches where you had an inch of grass on either side. And as you say it was just mud. It was miserable. And I used to try to keep as far away from the ball as possible. Rugby was the one that I used to be. Oh, please, not rugby. I just don’t see any point in that one. Yeah. So so. So what is it that inspires you? What What if I was sort of cut into the chase and say, right, okay, most blokes like a pint and sport? Where would your sort of passions be in this sort of downtime,
Jerry Hyde [4:15]
music, music and yeah, pint, a pint. And sport is kind of the as far away from what inspires me as possible, although I have learned, you know, the company of men is a very important part of my job actually, you know, run a lot of groups for men. And I think it’s built on the basis of, we’re kind of almost Rule Breakers in that we, we sit down together and we talk about things that we feel, not the sports not important because I you know, I’m knocking it but I really recognise the, the huge Valley place that has in people’s lives. But it’s like one of the guys one of my groups that said recently if you forget it in the pub, and one of my mates says, how’s it going? And I say, yeah, it’s not not too well, the guy have a pint, did you see the game and that’s the kind of that there’s these unspoken limits to what people can talk about. And I like to sit down and really find out what’s going on for people and especially, you know, quite blessed in the crowd of people that I seem to have accumulated random is a very, very creative people. And they inspire me all the time. And half the time they seem more on top of things than me. And that’s, that’s really exciting. I think it’s, you know, that’s why I ditched or struggled with the term psychotherapist. I think psychotherapist sort of suggests that you you’ve sorted itself out. And it’s a, that’s a, that’s a state of being I’m not even sure if I believe that it exists. And I like to say to people, I’m really not any more solid than you. I’m just curious and curious about myself and curious about how you function and everything that comes out of my mouth to other people tends to be what I need to listen to myself. So yeah, talking to people, that’s the most inspiring thing I found.
David Ralph [6:10]
So have you always had that? Have you always been a curious chap, even as a small lead?
Jerry Hyde [6:16]
No, I don’t think well, was I curious? I mean, I grew up in quite isolated, I lived out in the sticks, you know, we’re talking way pre internet, people used to come around and knock on my door and give her six months to use the phone because she was the only person in the neighbourhood with a phone.
There were no kids, I didn’t really meet another kid till I was five. And we moved away and I went to school.
But curious in as much as I was probably one of those people that would take one of my toys to pieces to see how it worked. I was never very good at putting them back together again, afterwards. But I’m always watching and watching what makes people tick and things take. I can’t help myself, right. It’s not something I’m doing consciously. It’s just, that’s how I operate. You know? So that’s a long winded way of saying, Yes, I
Unknown Speaker [7:10]
David Ralph [7:12]
That’s what we like it was in the gaps. It was in the gaps.
Jerry Hyde [7:15]
As we talked about before you you don’t have questions planned, and I don’t have any answers plan. And that’s quite exciting to me. Because, you know, I’m thinking out loud. I haven’t rehearsed any of this. I’m not, I’m not clue where we’re going. And that that to me, as I answer these questions. monsoon and for myself as well, you know, I’m not reading off a script. So I don’t know what I’m talking about most the time. And it’s quite interesting to, to, for me to kind of listen to what’s coming out of my mouth. Because I’m that happens all the time for me, I got I didn’t know that about myself. Yeah, that’s true, isn’t it? So? So it’s fun.
David Ralph [7:49]
I’ve had the same thing on this show. I’m almost in therapy, I suppose. Where people will ask me questions. And I’ve never even thought of the questions until I say it. And as it’s coming out my mouth, I’m actually thinking, yes, I’ve never thought of this. I’ve been coming up, I’ve solved something in me. And it’s fascinating. When you do let your brain just go into sort of pre flow, what actually comes out of you. And I suppose 30% is rubbish. And then 70% is gold. And then sometimes it can be the opposite way around. But there’s always something that comes out of you. And you think Blimey never thought of that before? But that’s probably right.
Jerry Hyde [8:24]
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, I like to I like that kind of spontaneity and the unpredictability. Otherwise, I didn’t think I could get up in the morning, I knew what was gonna happen. Yeah. And I mean, no one knows what’s going to happen. But I think a lot of people do like to have their to do lists and their spreadsheets, and it gives them an idea of being in control. And the fact is, none of us are in control. We just create illusions that we know where we’re going. And we don’t. So I’d rather roll with whatever happens to be honest.
David Ralph [8:54]
Did you believe that that we’re not here to actually shape our realities, we just go with the flow?
Jerry Hyde [9:01]
No, I think I think both true, we had to shape our realities with whatever happened. But you know, you can put whatever you want in the diary, there’s no guarantee you’re not going to walk under a bus. So you work with it as best as you can. Yeah, we’re all out of control, you know, nature’s out of control. You know, we don’t know what the weather is going to be like tomorrow. And we don’t know what’s going to happen in the economy and all these things. It’s totally unpredictable. And we we give ourselves little pointers and guidelines and file faxes and what have you, they give us a notion that we have some kind of control over it. But I think it’s a lot less than we tell ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with imagining your ex.
David Ralph [9:45]
But But a lot of people would love that. They would love the fact that they are in control, as you say they like their spreadsheets, they like their routine. But we all like that reality. But there’s a routine around us. But you really like the fact that every morning you wake up and you think what’s going to happen today? No, I don’t think that far ahead.
Jerry Hyde [10:08]
I have no ambitions. I have no plans. I have no idea. what’s what’s happening next
year when I say no ambition, that sounds kind of rather, you know, downbeat or defeatist, or something. It’s kind of hard to describe really, I just, I’m kind of thrilled by what happens anyway, regardless of what I think I want, you know, the life life has always taken me by surprise. And if you’d asked me 30 years ago, would I be doing what I’m doing now? Or even 10 years ago, you know, I would never, they’ll never happen. And when I have had ambitions, you know, really clear ones. I’ve tended to be disappointed, I think or resistant to what’s really, you know, wherever my life’s really going, when I was very attached to being a musician. It kind of blocked me from letting go of that, and, and moving in another direction. So I’ve got a lot of drive. And I’ve got a lot of energy for whatever’s emerging. But it is a pretty loose ship, you know, I’m not, I’m not trying to sculpt it too much. Because I think over sculpting it.
Yeah, it puts as many blocks in the ways that opens doors to be honest, perhaps more.
David Ralph [11:28]
I can, I can see both sides, when when I talked to somebody and they say, every three months, they audit their life, and they look at the things that haven’t worked and the things that do work, m&a changes, so but they’re just bringing more and more kind of emphasis into their life, I can see that I can also see your side as well, where you’re sort of saying, Yeah, by being more free flowing, you’re more likely to be able to accept opportunities. But if I had come to you when you weren’t quite ready for them, you would let them go past I can see totally 5050 on that one.
Jerry Hyde [12:00]
Yeah, I don’t think there’s a way and I think there’s 7 billion ways Personally, I’m not very big fan of doctrine, or, or formulas too much. You know, you got to find your own way.
David Ralph [12:13]
And I said, What do you do, then when you when you say what you do at the moment, you couldn’t have perceived it back 10 years? Describe what your sort of life is how do you sort of build an income,
Jerry Hyde [12:27]
chat, or chat for some kind of Alan Partridge, cigar chat for a living, but I’m not I mean, my business is weird, even calling a business, I don’t feel like I’ve got a job. I’ve never had a job as far as I’m concerned. And I wouldn’t want the job. Because, to me, I don’t feel like a gap in the morning, I’m going to work, I’m getting up in the morning, and people come around my place. And we certainly talk and it’s fascinating. And I pinch myself, sometimes they really aren’t getting paid for this. A job somehow has negative connotations. For me, I hear a lot of people doing Jobs because they need to pay the rent, and they don’t want to be doing it. And you know, the jury’s out for me on reincarnation. So I’m not, I’m not averse to it, but I’m kind of giving this lifetime, you know, shot as if it’s my only chance, and I don’t want to sell my life to anyone else for something that I don’t want to do. So I talked to people, and we explore stuff together. And I think the, you know, psychotherapist, whatever you want to call it, that was my background, that was my training. It’s it’s obviously, within me, but I think most good therapy trainings will bring out what’s in you anyway, rather than give you a kind of selection of nice, clever little questions and answers to go with. So I’ve always been that person that, that, that talks to people, especially when they’re in difficulty, I suppose. Although that’s, you know, I’m not a crisis management person. And my, my agenda when someone comes to me in some kind of crisis is to get them through it as quick as possible. So we can get on with the real work, which is lifestyle, and shaping, you know, shaping whatever they’ve got within them and bringing out the best of that, I think is one way of putting it.
David Ralph [14:20]
So say you have somebody that owns their passion, and I’m sorry, you’re somebody that finds the passion in them
Jerry Hyde [14:26]
yet certainly the creativity, hopefully the passion. Yeah, I mean, that’s something I’m going to be looking for. You know, and when I work with creatives, I mean, my I trained as a therapist, and I worked as a fairly conventional therapist for about five years, I absolutely hated it. And one day, an actor came in to my practice, and I did an hour with him and thought, why can’t all my clients be like that? And it was like, yeah, hold on, who says it can and I started to pump myself around as someone who worked with people in in the arts, which felt like a really risky business strategy, because I was struggling to get clients anyway. And to start to be exclusive OR restrictive, felt risky, and also people in the arts or skin on most of them. But that’s where my business really took off. Because I started to, you know, tapped into my passion, which then tapped into their passion. And I was hanging out with people that really inspired me. And it’s a circular thing. So the more I’m inspired, you know, the more I feed that back into them, and it goes round and round. And it’s exciting.
David Ralph [15:35]
So So what was it with that guy who, when you sat there and you thought, why can’t all my clients be like this one,
Jerry Hyde [15:41]
really liked him. And I’ve set up a business based on working, only working with people that I think if I met you out in the world, we’d probably have been friends, which is probably considered to be a really unethical approach. But I don’t care. It’s you know, I’ve got this, I’ve got to sit in a room with people. For years. I mean, some of my people I work with, I’ve worked with 15 years, if I don’t really, really care about you, I’m not the person for you. You know, I think some people, I’m the greatest living therapist on the planet, and for other people, I’m absolutely the worst. And I think about 85% of what I do is based on chemistry, and if we click, then we’re going to go somewhere. And if we don’t, then you know, you can go see Freud. And if you hate each other, you’re probably not going to get much out of it. I don’t know if that’s true, never met. You. I mean, so it’s, perhaps people might think that’s really exclusive will it is, you know, and I don’t mean, it’s very, very few people. I don’t know if I ever turn anyone away, but if we don’t click, they don’t come back. I don’t have to say anything, you can feel it. So it’s a relationship, like any relationship and some people you can fall in love with and have kids and live happily ever after. And other people you cross the road? Why would it be different with what I do?
David Ralph [17:03]
I can see that I can see that totally. Again, you know, if we’re in the environment, or no, we’re not even in the environment. We’re in the to design our life conversation, which so many people do, who are successful when they choose where they live, and I choose who they work with, that’s got to be a better way of doing it being just going, I’ll take this job, and I go to this place, and I will sit next to these three people, but I can’t stand just to get through a day, you know, you’ve only got one life. So you should be able to sort of tailor it. And we do tailor it with our friends. And we decide who we want to go and have a point where we want to do this whip. So why can’t you do it in business? That seems sensible to me.
Jerry Hyde [17:41]
Yeah. I mean, why is it time isn’t it I’ve only really heard it relatively recently. I don’t know if it’s been around for a while my fingers not particularly on the pulse. But you know, being the architect of your own life. And I think that’s a good attitude. That’s a really good attitude, we should we need to teach our children that rather than you you have to fit in, which is what I was taught and was never going to happen. But the idea of, of being the architect of your own life that I find that incredibly inspiring and empowering and it’s like, okay, so I can I can have some influence over this. And I can have some control over this and I can I can, I can do what I want. And that’s the bottom line, isn’t it? You know, I can do what I want. I’m told
David Ralph [18:22]
to do to you. You’ve got two kids what you got? boy, girl, girl, boys and girls. Yeah, you got two girls, did you drum that into them?
Jerry Hyde [18:30]
I gotta drum anything to be honest.
I mean, I don’t live with them. So maybe I’ll be drumming more instantly focus there every day. I’m not
what do I drum into? It’s not really my style of parenting. I took him out. I take him up to Wales. Every summer, we spent a bit of time together. And last year, when I was there, when we arrived, I said to them, please, can Can you do a deal with me? Can you please not ask me? What time you have to go to bed? Can you please not ask me if you want some sweets? Can you just take charge of that yourself? You know, they’re 10 and 12?
Unknown Speaker [19:07]
Or they are now
Jerry Hyde [19:10]
you know can? Can you can you start to have that relationship with yourself that you go to bed when you’re tired. And you get up, you know when you want to go or if you feel like having some sweets, you have some sweets rather than it being a kind of hierarchical authority based thing. And I had an amazing book that 10 years ago read about when I had kids called the other side of Eden, which I can’t remember who wrote it. But it was an anthropologist study of the Inuits, the Eskimos and I was very touched, because they’re the Inuits relationship to their children is they do believe in reincarnation. And they think that their children are their ancestors reincarnated. And so they treat them with the same reverence that they would their grandparents. And i that i think that’s that’s kind of how I try and approach my kids just with, you know, just trying to respect them through the people rather than looking down on them, which
I think there’s still a degree of that with children.
David Ralph [20:07]
But I think there is, and I think in my life, I’ve got five kids, and I wouldn’t be able to survive without structure, you know, we have to have bedtime we have to have. And we do set the rules. And we tell them when they go to bed. And that’s it and the storey really, because my son who’s 12, he’s now into that, fighting back slightly, and he wants to stay up all the way through the night. Yeah, then sleep all the way through the day. And we’re sort of saying to him, No, no, you gotta pull it back a bit. I know you want half term you on six weeks summer holiday, but it doesn’t mean that you become a vampire. And we never see you till you. You’ve got to have some kind of structure because he would he even now, we put him to bed at 10 o’clock the other night. He didn’t wake up to half past one in the afternoon. Well, you know that that’s amazing sleeping capability.
Jerry Hyde [20:52]
Yeah, remember those days? Yeah, we know fair enough to you got five, which is heroic. And um, and like I said, my kids don’t live with me. So I’ve got the kind of the huge freedom and privilege of being the cool dad who lets them go to bed whenever they want.
David Ralph [21:09]
What you do same call you even from this conversation that there’s there seems a kind of, I’m trying to think of the word it’s a free nice a quirkiness? Yeah, as I said in the introduction, you seem out of the mainstream. And you seem proud of that fact.
Jerry Hyde [21:26]
Well, it’s it’s how I survived. I mean, I, you know, yeah, I think I I am. And part of the part of my, you know, the people who raised me were kind of very much of that mindset, they were quite suppose Mavericks of that in their own way. But also, I’m dyslexic. And I think that immediately puts you out of the mainstream, and structure for me is actually rather frightening. And so my, my coolness is a bit of a front, I have to admit, and it keeps me safe. Because if I, you know, when I go into run a workshop, people who work with me already know this kind of this part of my scam, in a way. But when I go into a workshop, I’ll often say, look, I haven’t got a clue what’s going to happen. And what that doesn’t reveal is that actually, I’ve got a pretty good idea of where I’m going to take this and, and I’ve got a lot of things up my sleeve. But there’s a safety me in me saying, I’m not clear what I’m doing or where this is going. Because if someone gets angry and points the finger man says you don’t you don’t know what you’re doing. I can say, Well, I told you that in the beginning.
There’s safety and call.
David Ralph [22:33]
But But doesn’t it say a lot. But you know, if they’re coming to you first off, I supposed to be fixed? Or they’re finding answers or whatever. The fact that you kind of go? Yeah, I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing here, I would imagine that would turn a lot of people off is I find it fascinating that you’re taking this approach.
Jerry Hyde [22:49]
You think so wouldn’t you? I mean, even on my website, the front page says, so if you find this this weird, then I’m probably not the person to you. But if you know, if you get excited about it, then we should talk. What does this say says probably the only website in the world designed to put people off that there’s a degree of truth to that. But it says there’s a kind of paradox in that people seem to like it. And probably because there’s a degree of honesty to it. And you know, when people come see me for the first session, I do say to them, I haven’t got a clue. I’m very good. Kind of diagnostically, I can get to the heart of what I what someone’s core issue is, almost instantly is that it’s just a kind of instinct thing I’ve got the thing I’m not very good is knowing what to do about it. So I can, I can identify the problem, but what we you know, how you how you fix it, God knows. And that can take 10 years. And that that may sound a bit disheartening, but my my, my favourite description, I suppose what I do is rather than being the person who says the owner, or the problem is follow me and will will sort it out. They will be true, I say to people, all right, let’s let’s walk into the dark together. Because I think if you’re walking into the dark, that’s pretty scary when you’re on your own. But if you’ve got someone who’s prepared to walk by your side and go, go look over there, that’s interesting, isn’t it all? Let’s No, let’s not go down that path just a bit scary. There’s a kind of companionship that I think is, is really useful. But what people need to know whenever they go and see a therapist or a guru or anything is you got to do the work is no one out there that can tell you what the problem is really? Or even if they can, there’s no one, certainly no one out there who can solve it for you. They might give you some information based on their own thoughts. But you know, I guarantee you in the end, so why would I present anything different than that? I’m just trying to be honest with people,
David Ralph [24:44]
which is, you know, why? You need that friendship? You need that connexion at the beginning. Yeah, your approach will work otherwise, would it?
Jerry Hyde [24:52]
No, no, I have to also I think it’s really important to say, despite how it might seem, I’m not anti status. Well, and I’m not anti, you know, the kind of blank canvas psychoanalyst where you never get to know anything about them, whether you like them or not, is fact if you don’t like them. That’s, that’s a very important part of the work. I think that’s very valid. And it completely suits some people and, and how they’re going to learn and deepen. And I’m just offering something a bit different. So there’s, there’s more choice out there.
David Ralph [25:25]
So So let’s take you back a bit because I was fascinated when you been to India that the first been trained in Tantra. But then the bit about, you’ve been buried alive and fasting in the wilderness, but days, was it actually true? Or is that just something that you put on your website?
Jerry Hyde [25:40]
Now that true, I mean, Jewish have certainly done the fasting. I mean, I’ve run a lot of courses, which are based on sending people off on their own. And you don’t eat for four days, and you just sit outdoors, you know, you pick a spot you sit down, you don’t really move for four days. And that’s quite challenging the buried life. And that was a bit of a disappointment. I signed up for it. Certainly. And I was hoping for the whole you know, underground six foot under thing and when we got there, they they probably because of health and safety or something. We did sleep in a sleep and get my sleep in a grave overnight. So a great we had to dig our own graves and get into them and blankets and tarpaulins would kind of nailed on top. So you’re enclosed in the earth, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t the full coffin thing. We say you can’t do that with breathing tubes and what have you, which is pretty terrifying. But I did burial burial light.
Unknown Speaker [26:44]
David Ralph [26:45]
terrifying. Now, I can’t understand why you would want that in the first place being buried underground. What what what does that give you?
Jerry Hyde [26:53]
There’s a Jim Morrison quote that I can’t remember. I put it in, in my book, and it’s probably on my website about, you know, face your deepest fear, and then you’re free. You know, nothing will frighten you. So today, you know, I’ve got a lot of fears beyond beyond my kind of cool exterior, I’m, I’m a pretty neurotic person. So anything that, you know, takes the volume down on that. So sitting on my own being buried alive, that was just a bad night’s sleep. To be honest, you know, I know that for a lot of people. I’d love I’ve slept in worse, it was just like sleeping in a ditch really. But sitting on my own, that’s been pretty frightening, you know, out in the dark, because every little tweak that snaps becomes a monster, you know, in your imagination. And that’s the trouble with being a creative person, I think is having a very vivid imagination. So you stick someone out in the woods, in the dark, then you know, things get pretty vivid.
David Ralph [27:49]
is it so important for our listeners to start working on confronting their fears?
Jerry Hyde [27:56]
And how alive you want to be tonight, you know, I think
this is what I mean when I say I’m not trying to I’m not anti establishment if your agenda in life is you just want to feel safe and comfortable. If you can do that good, I do that. I think I’m too messed up to be able to feel safe and comfortable. So I have to you know, I’m driven, I have to go out and challenges things because I carry a lot of fear. But if you’re on if you’re a Gen Con person and you’ve got no interest in it, then no why bother?
Stay, read the papers, you know,
David Ralph [28:32]
because I’m a gentle and calm person that there’s nothing really that gets me worked up. And I see some people and they’re kind of really passionate and you see them they sort of arguing and they shout in the next minute, they’re calm, and they kind of look from one to another. And but I want to be alive, I want to be alive more than the next man, I really want. You know, I want inspiration, I want that kind of feeling of Isn’t this amazing, I’ve got this image, and a chap gave it to me a chat room, I’m waiting for a point to mould it called Danny Montgomery, if you’re listening, Danny, we’re going to enjoy ourselves. And he sent me this picture. And it was a couple in a convertible. And they’re driving sort of really fast down this road. And you can see the sort of speed they’re going because the sides are kind of whizzing past and they’re blurry, and just the road pins around the corner. And you don’t know where they’re going. But you just know from the image, but it’s kind of an early evening in a in a desert in America or somewhere. And I probably got the radio on and it’s all free. And whatever’s around the corner is their future. And I used to look at that. And I used to think master life for me, I don’t know what’s going to be around the corner. It’s exciting, you know, but I’m in control of it. I’m the one driving the car, I’m the one driving around that band, I’m the one forcing it to happen. And I feel inspired by those kinds of images. And I feel absolutely driven to be able to create that. Buzz away from that. I’m just come as I’m almost dead off that and to be honest.
Jerry Hyde [30:02]
You know, that goes back to the only thing doesn’t have Are we really in control in that image? Are you really in control of the car? What if some brake cable snaps and what if you drive around that that corner in California and Charles Manson’s waiting around the bend? We feel like we’re safe. And I think the, for me, the danger in being too entrenched in the comfort zone is yet that you don’t get inspired. And Paulo Coelho put it very well. In one of his books, he described that as inhabiting a perpetual Sunday afternoon existence. And I really get what he’s saying with that slide is just, it’s just the observer and falling asleep, you know, in front of antiques roadshow in there, and everything is lovely. And there’s a nice warm fire and, and there’s no problems. But there’s also no real pulse. If that becomes your whole existence. It’s lovely to do once a week on a Sunday afternoon, perhaps but not to inhabit that not to be over comfortable. And I think this this is why I’ve tended to be dynamic stream. And taking people out and leave them on the sides of mountains might be on their own for a few days is is quite risky. But it’s it’s not that I’m some kind of adrenaline junkie, it’s that I’m just trying to wake people up, because you can thank you can go back to your home once you’ve done that for days. But we’ve we’ve made ourselves very comfortable, I think with double glazing and central heating and air conditioning. And, you know, the way we live is, is pretty safe on the home.
And there’s, you know, is a risk that like you say you don’t feel alive?
David Ralph [31:40]
Well, what’s been your scariest moment in life? Can Can you look back and think of a moment you think, right? Really, I managed to get through that. But my God, every part of me wanted to run away from it. Because being a sort of musician that’s quite scary when you first get up on stage and you’re playing and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, a lot of your life seems to be, as I say, on the age where I would personally be scared all the time.
Jerry Hyde [32:04]
Yeah, you know, playing life is pretty scary. My first ever gig was in Scotland, in Edinburgh, and we got canned offstage. And that was fairly terrifying. But we went back on the same night in front of the same audience and won them over. And I think that taught me a lot. If we just cut and run, I’d probably never gone on stage again. So it was facing that fear and going, you know, we can walk away. But if we walk away, we, you know, we’ve just got to pack our guitars up and forget this. Or we got to go back on onstage in front of this, this hostile audience and win them over. And the ability to win people over and conquer our fears was, you know, when I was 18, or 19 when I did that, that that was a good life lesson.
David Ralph [32:49]
And what was difference between their performances? Why did they hate you and then love you?
Jerry Hyde [32:53]
I think we were just really determined to win them over and that we just communicate that energy. Somehow, I think we were a bit complacent and probably arrogant and had an expectation that we you know, because we knew we were the next Rolling Stones, right? And then we realised we weren’t very quickly, and we had to step up. So there’s, um, it’s quite easy when you’re young to have that sense of entitlement. You know, Prince Charles got into a lot of trouble few years ago for knocking people who go on X Factor and things like that and say, people feel entitled to fame, and they don’t realise that. So you gotta work hard. And people, people kind of kicked gave them a bit of a kicking to say, No, you’re putting people down. But I thought, now, you know, whether you like the Spice Girls, or any of these kind of prefab bands, which I don’t, I still admire them. Because, you know, it takes a lot of work, you gotta work really hard to be in one of these horrible Oh, boy bands. You know, that’s a productive Simon cow or something, you got to work really hard. It’s not just handed to you on a plate.
David Ralph [33:58]
Now, we talked about that time and time again, where people benchmark the kind of overnight success. And even when you look at people like one direction that seemed to have been pulled together very, very quickly, and suddenly bang, they’re this huge band playing Wembley Stadium and stuff. You don’t see this on the karaoke bars. And the times, I mean, pub singing as individuals, it was only when it was got pulled together, but we noticed it. And I take Prince Charles’s point totally on that.
Jerry Hyde [34:26]
Yeah. Yeah. Well, people love to give them a kicking. Well,
David Ralph [34:31]
they do don’t like they do. So so let’s get on to your book, you just released a book play from your effing heart, which is a very strong title. And where where did that come from? Because that, that has put you into sort of people’s consciousness, isn’t it? It’s taking you from underground into Amazon. And you can’t be more out there than Amazon.
Jerry Hyde [34:52]
Yeah, I guess. A bit like that. Um, yeah, I mean, it has an Amazon have, you know, bless them, they put out there as my publisher, you know, my publisher didn’t blink bat an eyelid when I’m when I asked if I could call it that it was originally called the Keith Richards health plan.
But kids, people didn’t think that was such a good idea.
So I had to change it. And I was scrabbling around that was actually a chapter heading. And a friend of mine said, No, that’s the that’s the title. And it’s a Bill Hicks. It’s a Bill Hicks rant really where I mean, we, you know, it’s interesting, this conversation, I was going because he was actually really ranting again, against the one directions. And obviously, you know, the people around at the time the Marky marks and the MC hammers, and there’s a very famous rant where he’s saying, you know, I want I want my, my musicians dead, really, I want them, you know, to, to push themselves so far and be so authentic. And so, so driven, that the, you know, the food trucks has dying part of their environment, rather than rather than being the kind of homogenised you know, pre packaged. One. So it’s about, it’s about utter authenticity. Really, for me, that’s what I’m saying, Don’t hold back, you know, don’t, don’t sell yourself, you know, half halfway there, put yourself all the way out there. And you will get humiliated, and you will get judged, and you will get shamed. And you will succeed. And you will feel at the end of the day that you’ve given it your best shot. But you know, most of us don’t, because we’re so frightened of what other people will think or say. And there’s, there’s a quote that I put in very early on in the book from that book that was out a couple years ago called the seven regrets of the dying. And that really, it really kind of touched me because it’s a palliative care nurse who interviewed people in their last stages of life, you know, as they were dying, and ask them questions about what that that greatest regrets work. And then she kind of covered it all together. And the number one regret from people was that they hadn’t lived their own lives, they lived the lives that they thought was expected of them, you know, by other people. So that’s what I’m trying to write is a kind of call to arms to say, Don’t do that. Don’t do what you’re told, don’t do what’s expected of you don’t do what your family or society or anyone else dictates including me. Do what your heart tells you to do, you know, be true to yourself. And, you know, this is not a new This is not a new teaching. Finding. People have been saying that Shakespeare said this it was it was above the door to the Oracle in Delphi. You know, the ancient Greeks, everyone of any value has been saying forever. Just be true to yourself.
David Ralph [37:50]
I’m gonna play the words of Jim Carrey, because funnily enough, he’s not quoting Shakespeare. But he said exactly the same thing. Now, I’m going to play bass, because this is going viral on the internet. And it’s shocking, as you say, but it’s the same message time and time and time again, but we just don’t buy into it. This is Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [38:05]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [38:32]
Yeah, what? What do you think, though, that we still have that live other people’s lives? Because it’s lunacy, isn’t it? It’s It is beyond lunacy. But I’ve done it for many, many years, I was living a life that I felt was expected of me. And I look back now and I don’t go. What was I doing? I just think, yeah, I can see what I was doing. I was doing what everybody else is doing. But we’ve all got that in us.
Jerry Hyde [38:56]
Yeah, I mean, we were taught the army. And it’s
minutes. Again, I don’t want to become hugely anti establishment, but I probably am, in many ways. I think it was Jeremy on, it bested me, fair enough.
David Ralph [39:13]
But I am as well.
Jerry Hyde [39:17]
I suppose I’m calming down a little bit, you know, I turned 50 a few weeks ago. So I’m just easing back a bit on my ranting. But I think to, to raise, maybe it’s about population levels, maybe we need to kind of box people in because there’s so many of us, I don’t know, maybe it’s difficult to raise individuals. And we’ve got, you know, these big, big schools for kids, like you saying, you know, you got to have structure, and you got five kids, and they got get up and all this kind of stuff, and to raise kids to be individuals. And so first, I mean, there’s a good example here, when I am when my kids were little, they never slept, you know, really never slept two of them quite close in age. And we were up every night for years. And a lot of people wooden, Satan, we’ve just gotta let him scream, you just gotta let him scream. So instead, and after a while, they’ll they’ll come down and they’ll go to sleep. And I, you know, there’s books out on that good little baby books, what have you. And I went to a friend of mine, who I respected. And I said, Look, I just don’t know what to do, because my heart says, I can’t leave them to scream, and but I’m going mad here. And I’ve gotta get some sleep. And everyone’s saying, I’ve just got to ignore them. And he said, what you got a choice, you can, you can do that. You can ignore them. And they will, they’ll learn fairly quickly that there’s no point in screaming, and they’ll go to sleep, and you’ll get some rest. And what you’ll have is very, very socially adapted children that will grow up and they will respond to other people. And they’ll be very sensitive to other people’s needs. Or you continue doing what you’re doing, which is you respond to them when they’re crying and distressed, and you go and comfort them. And you’ll get kids who grow up to not be terribly socially adapted, but they’ll have very good relationships with them themselves. And that was a bit of a no brainer to me. Because I think it’s much easier to teach people when they’re build social skills than it is to have a relationship with themselves. And I know, that’s what I do every day, I’m trying to teach people to listen to themselves, because age, you know, 30 4050 6070, or whatever, they’ve not been raised in that way to go, but who am I in this? And what do I want in this? They’ve been raised to be part of society. So it’s very difficult, you know, and it’s got to be done on an individual level, I think if if you start trying to treat kids in Tottenham schools, like in your children, and it probably would be my hand, but then you know, we got rights anyways.
David Ralph [41:44]
Because I have conversations every day, and there seems to be two big dots in people’s lives. One when they’re in a really bad situation, and they know that they’ve got to take action to get out of it. And they look back on it. And they go, yes, that was the best part of my life, even though it was the worst part of my life, because I’ve now found myself. But more often than not the successful people that I’ve been speaking to, and especially the really successful people that I look at, and I think How the hell did your life happen? But you all had that moment when they sat down, and they asked themselves two questions, really. One is, what do I want to leave on this world? And that she ordered them when? If I come and go without leaving a mark on this world, this terrifies me, I’ve got to do something about it. And secondly, who am I simple that that one question, Who am I? And once I dig down into that, and they realised their unique sell the value that they can provide to the world easily, then everything seems to be cooking on gas?
Jerry Hyde [42:43]
Yeah, yeah. But you know, you’re lucky if you’ve met people that recognise themselves as successful, because I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I’ve worked with a lot of extraordinarily successful people, but I’ve never met one that will recognise and acknowledge that because success is a is something that’s in the future. Now, or when I’ve achieved this, when I’ve got this award, when I’ve made this much money, when I’ve met this right person, when I bought this house, or this car, or what have you, and I’m forever can raining people back in again, and you are phenomenally successful in what you’re doing right now. You know, always people are, you know, I’ve never looked at it like that. So I mean, success is something people need to, I think, rethink and look at what they’ve done, not what what they need to achieve. And this is again, you know, I am or I am, I’ve got a bit of a chip on my shoulder and schools because as a, as a dyslexic, I just didn’t fit in. I think the measurement system, you know, exams and what have you that we use, that are so random people, kids throws it, it makes everything success based in a future sense, you know, results based rather than experience based, you know, sometimes success is just standing there. In the moment, you know, feeling, feeling that connexion with with the people you’re with or acknowledging what you’ve done, rather than what you want to do in the future.
David Ralph [44:14]
With your book, play from your effing heart again, and I must admit, I like the Keith Richards title better. Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s just that’s spot on and amusing. Um, what kind of readers would sort of go out and get that what what kind of people are you? What, what was your avatar when you was writing that book?
Jerry Hyde [44:33]
So when I mean, it says on the covers, is for people who usually hate self help books, and
I think there’s a lot of people
who, hopefully it will reach just because of the style of it. I mean, it’s like a self help book with Tourette’s. So it’s, you know, it’s completely, you know, shot through with expletives and swear words and not just swear words. I’m not I’m not I’m not saying for a fact, I must admit, I tend to swear a lot. But it’s, it’s in my language. So it’s a very stream of consciousness kind of thing, rather than particularly wordy or academic, or even trying to be overly intelligent. And plus, I was really lucky in that I got the artist Robert crumb did the cover, and Robert crumb will mean nothing too great many people, but the people that I would hope will read it will get crumb immediately. I mean, he did you know a lot of Janis Joplin record covers in the city did Joplin and the Grateful Dead, and a lot of those underground kind of hippie comics. He did. He did a lot of that stuff. And I, you know, he’s kind of semi retired living in the south France now. And I was really lucky to get him to do the cover for me. So
David Ralph [45:50]
how did you achieve that? How did you get somebody who is kind of almost retired, because when you mentioned those album covers, I’m quite into that kind of stuff. So I know exactly what you’re talking about. But I didn’t tweak, but it was the same person on your cover of your book.
Jerry Hyde [46:05]
I tell you how I got it to happen by going. There’s no way that will happen. There’s no way there’s not even any point in me even asking and then thinking, yeah, that’s guaranteed. But if I ask those, you know, it’s a long shot. But it might work. And so I just pushed through my own little self censor when there’s no point in that. And he came out and did it. You know? So, yeah, pushing through my own my own negative thoughts, I suppose.
David Ralph [46:34]
And that is the key to everything, isn’t it? I was talking to a guy the other day. And I say the other day, I’ll just tell you what episode he is. If somebody is looking for him, he is Episode 111. So it was a while ago. But he was, well, he is he’s a 16 year old guy in America. And I’ve mentioned him numerous times, because I found him so inspirational. And at the age of 16, or earlier than that, he just had these two things in his head. Number one, I’m going to go out looking for nose. And he goes and just tries to get as many no’s as possible. So he asks things that in his head is never going to happen. Because he knows that if he doesn’t know, he knows that he’s going to get a yes, I mean, that’s going to push him forward. And the other thing that he just has in his head is if I don’t ask, I don’t get and it’s as simple as simple as bad. And he was a huge inspiration to me, because I’m you know, I’m 44 years old, and I’m listening to a 16 year old kid, but I would like that I could sit there going, Well, this is how you’re going to live your life Sunny, and he’s saying things to me. And I’m like God, yeah. Why Why? Why are we not doing that? Why are we not going out and getting nose because you get enough nose? You can get a yes. And the yes up. Blimey, they’re powerful.
Jerry Hyde [47:44]
Both is fantastically inspiring storey that I read, can’t remember where ages ago about D day, which is obviously what is that seven years, I think we just had the anniversary. But on D day, the Americans had lost loads of really battle hardened, you know, seasoned troops who’d been through North Africa and Sicily and Italy, and what have you. And so they didn’t put any of these guys on the boats going into Omaha Beach, because they knew if they put any of them on the boats, that you know, the ramp would go down and then hit the beach and they get choking. There’s no way I’m getting off this boat, there’s beaches impregnable. So they took all the, you know, 1718 year old kids straight out of boot camp, and they put them on the boot on the boats, because they didn’t know that it was impossible. And you know, that’s why we don’t speak German in this country. Because they ran up the beach. And they overcame the defences. And I’d rather than just being a kind of, you know, the historical, militaristic thing, I thought that applies to so much we give so much value to experience. And actually, some of my greatest achievements have been, you know, I’ve achieved them through utter ignorance. And I haven’t got old and seasoned and better enough to say to myself, now that’ll never work. I’ve just kind of done it like a blind fool. And I’ve achieved incredible things just because I didn’t know it was impossible. And I think that’s something you know, we need to hold on to valuing our own ignorance rather than needing to know and learn everything and be super experienced all the time. Because, like you say, you kind of hit your 40s or 50s, whatever. And some of the things I I’ve done in the past, it’s just another way, there’s no way the risks are too great. Whereas when I didn’t know the risks, then you know, I was unstoppable.
David Ralph [49:28]
I’m gonna bring on the word to Steve Jobs been because you’re doing a fantastic job here that you’re leading me into public segues. And this is the speech that he did back in 2005. When he says, you know, you just take trust, have faith, trusting your abilities and just do things and you can never join up your doors until you look back. And just the fact that you’re sitting there looking back and going, yes, if I had had more experience, it wouldn’t have happened. But because I didn’t really know I just went with the flow. I think that’s hugely powerful. So this is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [49:57]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [50:33]
Because you a chatbot seems way off the well worn path. Yeah, you you really are doing your thing do you do buy into those words
Jerry Hyde [50:40]
are totally and that’s what I mean, when I said don’t have ambition, you know, have trust. I’ve trust my faith. But beyond that, I you know, yeah, no, I’ll go with whatever comes. And like I said earlier, I think you know, when it seemed like an absolute disaster, that’s often been the real the really formative stuff that’s happened. So yeah, Jobs knew what he was talking about.
David Ralph [51:02]
Clearly, he did. And it’s such a simple little speech. It’s almost one of those speeches that you kind of thing. You know, how did he come up with it? Did he just sort of fell out into him? Or was it something that he’d been thinking for months and months and years and years and years? And Ben had the opportunity to put it down? Because I think
Jerry Hyde [51:20]
I think Jobs was dyslexic was me. I’m pretty sure he will. Yeah, I think he was Yeah, I mean, that’s it’s a word, I use hesitantly and rather lately, I don’t like it. Because I think, you know, hundred years ago, when my grandparents were growing up, there were no dyslexic. If I mean, to be honest, when I was a kid, there were no Dyslexics, I was never called, that wasn’t really discovered till I was an adult. But hundred years ago, you had a much more fluid education system that I think it made allowances for people who weren’t academic, and you became an apprentice, you know, you went and did something with your hands, which is much more in keeping with, with how I function. And I think, you know, the narrow we big, we’ve got into this, you know, academic, you know, in our schooling system, the more the people like Jobs, and myself and whoever, you know, don’t fit into that, that square peg round hole scenario, then suddenly, you’ve got people who you consider have a problem, you know, and got behavioural problems, or learning difficulties, all these different labels, and they didn’t exist before, because there was a place for them, and now there isn’t. So I think that’s a bit of a problem. You know, we gotta recognise people’s different and, and encourage them work with it, rather than give them Ritalin, and, you know, that kind of stuff.
David Ralph [52:39]
But we need different people, don’t we, we need people that don’t fit in, because when they show us a different way, we are the ones that are just following the herd all the time. And the people that don’t fit in, they haven’t got that opportunity to follow the herd. And they are the ones creating amazing pieces of work. And they’re stimulating all of us to go. Why not asked why can’t we do that? But because we were not choosing to do it.
Jerry Hyde [53:01]
When I left school, I went to see the careers advisor, physical. And he said, No, you’re you’re unemployable. And I kind of left school quiet. That hanging over me, I felt quite ashamed of that. And I didn’t have a job. I’ve never had a conventional job really. And how over me, and it was a shameful thing for about 10 years, and I can’t remember what made the difference. And he was actually having some therapy. But I realised the done me a favour because he just said the truth, you know, I’m not employable in the confessional sense. And had he not said that to me, and had I not been, you know, equally discouraged by other teachers, and what have you from from seeking a job? You know, I maybe I should have done it. And maybe I’ve got one card.
David Ralph [53:46]
So So have you never had a job then?
Jerry Hyde [53:49]
No, I mean, I was. I did. I was on the dole a lot. And I, you know, I was in a band. So that’s, that’s what we did. We just signed on and played music for most of my 20s. I had a job for about eight months, as a runner for from film company, but that was, you know, pretty left field, they gave us 60 quid a week. I mean, it was, you know, probably would have got almost as much on the door. And we were working ridiculous hours, but it was, you know, it was in terms and it was quite interesting and creative. So that, you know, it wasn’t a 95 That’s for sure. I’ve never had a 95. And that lasted about 18 months. But even that was too rigid for me really good a month or two packing boxes and a mail order company. I think that’s it. Yeah,
David Ralph [54:36]
he’s amazing that we still use that phrase, isn’t it? nine to five? You know, why the hell do we do those hours? And I remember reading the Tim Ferriss four hour workweek book. And the thing that struck me is why across the globe, do we work nine to five, and we don’t know how much time it’s going to take, you know, my work I could do in a couple of hours. Your work, it might take you 12 hours, but we still say it’s the 19 five job.
Jerry Hyde [55:01]
Yeah, was pigeonholing people, isn’t it and standardising and keeping things normal.
David Ralph [55:11]
We don’t want normal we want people to be be creative and inspired and, and creating their own path and all those kind of things. Just before we put you on the Sermon on the mic, and I send you back in time to have a one on one with the younger Jerry, what would you like to leave? that you’ve been on this planet? What what Mark, would you like to leave Jerry?
Jerry Hyde [55:30]
I don’t care. I don’t care at all. I’m gonna be forgotten very quickly. I mean, they say you die too. I certainly don’t. You don’t want to physically and then you die. The second time you die properly is when the last person who remembers you are alive dies? I don’t care. You know, I mean, I think these things are so yeah, if you Steve Jobs. But that’s a luxury that most of us are never going to have that kind of profile of Steve Jobs. I saw this photograph a few years ago, this guy called smile a marshal was, I think one of the second to last great war veterans alive at that point, he’s dead now. And there was a photograph of him with his family. And I found it incredibly inspiring, because they had him at the top God knows are they balanced this bloke on a pyramid. But anyway, they had him at the top, and they hold all these kids and grandkids and great grandkids. And there’s about 120 people in this photograph. And I thought, That’s amazing. He met his wife in the 1920s after the war. And in that time span, they’ve given birth to 120 people that come directly from their lineage. So let’s say in 20 years, I don’t know how many people I’ve worked with, probably close to 1000. And if I only influence one of them positively, if I make one change, that really helps them in their life, that means over the next, you know, 80 years, that’s going to have affected 120 people. So times that by a couple of thousand by the time I give up or whatever. That’s a massive impact, but I’ll never know about it. I’ll never know the results of my work. And it doesn’t matter. I don’t care as long as it’s happened. And I could die tomorrow and feel a degree of set, you know, I’d be disappointed because I’ve got other stuff I want to do. blog, raise my kids and write more books and help more people and learn more stuff. But, you know, you influence one person and you’ve changed the world. You don’t need to be Steve Jobs or add off Hitler or whoever pretends to be the people who commit genocide the most memorable so you
Unknown Speaker [57:35]
know, you got a bit of a dark side haven’t used
Jerry Hyde [57:38]
just a bit. Well think about it. He Remember, you know, Christ you got nailed to a cross, apparently, gang is can Hitler Napoleon in a whole part that the memorable ones
David Ralph [57:51]
Jerry hide and David Ralph whir, whir, be memorable, Jerry, the two of us we will, I’ve never heard that phrase before that you died twice. And it’s when you were saying it. I was listening and ask well, what what do you mean by this? That that’s, that’s terrified me. But you’re absolutely right. That’s one of the most depressing things I’ve ever heard.
Jerry Hyde [58:14]
Well, we’re all going to be forgotten. It’s true. You know, what is it? I read somewhere? There’s 220 billion human beings have ever lived. How many of them? Do you remember?
David Ralph [58:23]
Well, that is absolutely true. And I hear stats, like only 1% of all the people on the earth that’s ever been here, have invented something or left their mark, you know, 99% just come and go. And that’s it. Yeah. Yeah. So I hate those facts. Yeah.
Jerry Hyde [58:41]
Still there. And you know, that for me, they’re just an incentive, though, you know, to not feel too disheartened if I because, God, I could go on for days about this one, you know, again, back to success, these notions of success that have been pumped up over the last, you know, aftermath, I suppose, since movies and TV and stuff that have given a kind of global awareness to celebrity. Hundred Years ago, people didn’t have celebrity in the same way. So you weren’t walking around thinking, Oh, because I’m not Paul Newman, you know, or or john F. Kennedy. I’m a failure. I imagine, you know, I can’t see that. You know, I think that the benchmark has been set so high that the rest of us feel like we’re somehow not succeeding. And we are, you know, if you make you make just one little bit of positive, you know, impact on the world, then your jobs done, as far as I’m concerned?
David Ralph [59:30]
Well, you’ve made a positive impact on me, you really have, I’m going to I’m going to quote most depressing fact, people, once I get in that sort of melancholy mood up to six pints and my football team are doing very well. And I’m going to quote them, and they’re going to go, you’ve been hanging around Jerry, hi. Hey, he’s the man. Well, I’m going to do just to sort of bring the show to an end. Jerry, this is the part of the show that we call the Sermon on the mic. And this is when I send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and meet the young, good, Jerry, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give him? So when the music fades out? You’re out? This is the Sermon on the mic.
Jerry Hyde [1:00:29]
I think I go back and, and probably have a word with myself, who and about eight years old were you when I got into school, five, maybe five, you know, when I when I started to be around that kind of system. And in the, in the words of the late great. Hunter S Thompson, I’d say don’t take any guff from the swine. Oh, perhaps more personally, I was raised by my my maternal grandparents at the time. And they were, I was alluding to that earlier, they were very kind of Maverick people who were, they grew up during the First World War. And they saw that, you know, the older people, kids in their school, go and get slaughtered. And I was I was really taught by by them, whatever you do, don’t trust authority, because they’re not to be trusted. Because what they do is they get people like us to, you know, get out of trenches and walk towards machine guns, and you’re just cannon fodder. And they live their lives like that, you know, not not listening to what, you know, not being not doing what they were told. So I think that’s the most important message I got from them. And I’d go back and I’d say to myself, you know,
the same thing, don’t don’t trust authority, you know, follow your own heart.
David Ralph [1:01:56]
Thank you, Jerry, how will our listeners be able to connect with you?
Jerry Hyde [1:02:02]
My website, Jerry, I co.uk is probably the best way it’s got all my details on it.
Beyond that, who knows how they’ll be able to connect with me there to come and talk to me and see if it works.
David Ralph [1:02:13]
Well, we will put all the links on the show notes were put sorted on Facebook and Twitter and wherever we can find so people have got that opportunity. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots. I really enjoyed having you on the show your classic kind of Englishman you’re quite downbeat. And you’ve got a certain way of thinking which is it’s an it’s an English tree, isn’t it? It’s so English. I don’t know what it is. But we like the kind of underdog we like to be underground. We don’t like to be sort of blowing your own trumpet.
Jerry Hyde [1:02:41]
Don’t go experiment.
David Ralph [1:02:42]
Yeah, that’s right. Yeah, absolutely is. So please come back again, when you have more dots to join up. Because I believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Jerry hide, thank you so much.
Jerry Hyde [1:02:53]
Thank you very much.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.