John Latta Joins Us On The Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing John Latta
John Latta is our guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business podcast today.
Having come face to face with his own personal “rock bottom”, John Latta discovered that his usual efforts of hard work, arguments and logic were getting him nowhere in overcoming the obstacles of becoming a single dad, facing bankruptcy, and his oppressive fear of death.
Desperate for a lifeline, he opened his heart and decided to embrace a new way forward with fearless courage.
Now when he was a child things were so much different and he showed an inquisitive mind and a thirst for positive thinking and reinforcement.
Growing up in Long Beach, CA and later Seattle, WA, his father was an engineer and researcher, and his mother was a stay-at-home mom.
How The Dots Joined Up For John
As he says “I was the oldest of 3 kids. I grew up with a love of reading.
I would devour books and magazines obsessively.
I was one of those kids who would ride his bike to the library once a week and would somehow ride back with 8 books in one arm and my handlebars in the other!
In fact he was only a teenager when he read THINK AND GROW RICH and THE MAGIC OF THINKING BIG.
They both opened his eyes to the reality that for most of us, the limitations we place on ourselves are entirely our own. We could choose to think big or think small — it was entirely up to us.
Our mindset is what brings the true success to our lives and we can either accept the responsibility we have to make things happen or just allow life to kick us around a bit.
In his new book, The Synchronicity of Love, John shares his extraordinary stories of what happened when while at rock bottom, he threw himself into Unconditional Love with sincerity and earnestness which transformed his life.
So where did his path change from a boy with a love for knowledge and positive future thinking to one of fear and oppression?
And was there anything he could have done to make things different, or now is it only those dots that have got him to where he wants to be?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only John Latta.
During the show we discussed such weighty subject with John Latta such as
John shares how the floating phase of life can often lead to disappointment even when things seem simpler and at peace.
We talk about the feeding the monster of business and why every business has to be focused on the cashflow situation before anything else.
John shares the times when he hit rock bottom and why he feels that it might just have been the best thing that ever happened to him
John discusses the realisation that some people are not ready to move on no matter how much they say they want a new life.
How To Connect With John Latta
Return To The Top Of John Latta
If you enjoyed this episode of Join Up Dots business coaching podcast, then why not listen to some of our favourite podcast episodes such as David Kadavy, Dan Lok, Sophie Radcliffe, or the amazing The Simpsons
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Full Transcription Of John Latta Interview
Life shouldn’t be hard life should be a fun filled adventure every day. So now start joining up dots tap into your talents, your skills, your God given gifts and tell your boss, you don’t deserve me. I’m out of here. It’s time for you to smash that alarm clock. And start getting the dream business and life you will of course, are dreaming of. Let’s join your host David route from the back of his garden in the UK, or wherever he might be today with another JAM PACKED episode of the number one hit podcast. Join Up Dots.
David Ralph [0:40]
Good morning, and welcome to Join Up Dots. Thank you for being with us. Once again, a different type of show today. A lot of times we talk about building businesses and building your personal life but what you’re going to do if your personal life kind of goes a bit wrong, and you end up struggling and hitting your own personal rock bottom. Well, today’s guest discovered that his usual efforts of hard work, arguments and logic, were getting him nowhere in overcoming the obstacles of becoming a single dad facing bankruptcy and his oppressive fear of death. Now desperate for a lifeline he opened his heart and decided to embrace a new way forward with fearless courage. Now, when he was a child, things were so much different. And he showed an inquisitive mind and a thirst for positive thinking and reinforcement growing up in Long Beach, California and later Seattle. His father was an engineer and researcher and his mother was a stay at home mum. And as he says I was the oldest of three kids, I grew up with a love of reading, I would devour books and magazines obsessively. I was one of those kids who would ride his bike to the library once a week, and would somehow right back with eight books in one arm and my handlebars in the other. In fact, he was the only teenager he could think of who read the Napoleon Hill classic Think and Grow Rich, and the magic of thinking big and they both opened his eyes to the reality that for most of us, the limitations we place on ourselves so entirely our own, we could choose to think big, or think small, it was entirely up to us. Our mindset is what brings a true success to our lives. And we can either accept the responsibility we have personally to make things happen, or just allow life to kick us around a bit. Now in his new book, the synchronicity of love, John shares his extraordinary stories of what happened when while at rock bottom he threw himself into unconditional love with sincerity and earnestness which transformed his life. So where did these paths change from a boy with a love of knowledge and positive future thinking to one of fear and oppression? And was there anything he could have done to make things different? or Now is it only those dots where I’ve got him to where he wants to be? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. John David Latta.
John Latta [3:10]
Morning David does a hell of an intro. Thank you very much for inviting me.
David Ralph [3:13]
Yeah, we do have research, John, don’t we we dig around, we try to find things that other people did. Now I want to jump straight into you as a young man, because it seemed like you were hugely positive, hugely, like an open brain of knowledge, just consuming. Why did it change? Why did you go from that kind of positive outlook to one of this oppressive fear of death? I find it fascinating and I can’t quite judge how it would have occurred.
John Latta [3:45]
I can’t either David, that’s a great question. You know, all the way back when I was a teenager in high school, I’d set the school that I wanted to retire at the age of 40. And, and I the reason I wanted to work hard and retire Young was because I wanted to go fishing and skiing and when the fishing was good and when the skiing was good. I just wanted the freedom to travel. And at about the time I was approaching age 40 it actually looked like that might be a possibility. Maybe not retire for the rest of my life, but maybe take a few years off kind of thing. And I’ve managed to save quite a bit of money. And I don’t know where that oppressive fear of death came from. I had managed to go through the first 39 or 40 years of my life. Sort of anti spiritual, anti religious, I didn’t attend church. I was raised Catholic but stopped going when I was young. And so I kept all things what I would call religious or spiritual at bay, and suddenly everything in my life all sort of going wrong at the same time. I lost all my money. I started my own company and managed to dig myself into $650,000 in debt 250,000 and personal credit card debt. My wife got cancer recovered, thankfully But changed completely and then suddenly decided she wanted a whole new life. And suddenly, I was a single dad with custody of my two kids hanging on by a thread financially. And then out of the blue to top it all off, I’m just terrified of death. And I couldn’t wrap my mind around or come back to that intelligence, which isn’t so intelligent. after all. I couldn’t wrap my mind around Oblivion, I kept thinking, My gosh, When I die, it’s over forever. And it was terrifying to me.
David Ralph [5:29]
on that stage, I’d be thinking, actually, I wouldn’t mind death, that leaves the bet to somebody else.
John Latta [5:38]
Well, you know, that’s true. But maybe that’s why I got custody, my kids. So that didn’t really seem like an option, because I felt like I had a responsibility to raise my kids too. So it might have been a real blessing in disguise. Because not might have been an option I would have considered because at that point, I did not see any way out.
David Ralph [5:56]
And one of the sort of mantras of Join Up Dots is the fact that the crappy times the real bad times are actually the ones that when you get far enough away from it, you go hard to remember that that was really terrible. But God, I wouldn’t be where I am now, today. And it’s difficult to see that when you’re going through things, and it’s dark, and you you just don’t know where to turn and stuff. But do you think this is something I’m fascinated with as well, the majority of people that don’t hit rock bottom, don’t have anything to spring against to sort of become who they want to be. They kind of just coast, everything kind of vaguely goes away. Everything goes, you know, just they get a job. They earn money they get to the weekend, there’s nothing to solve actually go on fighting back now, do you think?
John Latta [6:48]
Yeah, I wondered about that. And I definitely think I don’t know if I would have called myself a floating person. But I don’t think things would have changed in my life. Had I not hit rock bottom, I had to have that. That two by four to a head kind of a thing. And it’s ironic, the very thing I pushed against my whole life, what I would call spirituality loosely, called spirituality, opened up in profound ways as a result of hitting rock bottom. And I sometimes think the book that I wrote could have been called rigid rational male transforms into random accidental mistake. Yeah, I don’t think that would have happened without without the crash. And, and it forced me to make some major, major changes in my life. And you’re so right, when you’re in it, you can’t see it. But looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
David Ralph [7:43]
Why do we know that I think we all know this at our heart, when things are going too easily. There’s sort of built on shifting signs and things will change. And when you actually knuckle down and you work on something, and you struggle, it’s the classic, I always think, three little pig story. So many people rush for the house of straw, and then two minutes later, it gets blown away. And the people that actually really knuckle down, they end up with something substantial. But we don’t want that in life, don’t we? We we want the piggy house, the straw house to be perfect because he’s easy to get.
John Latta [8:23]
I totally agree. And yeah, I It’s funny, I don’t think it has to be that way. I just think it usually is. And maybe we just, you know, when everything went wrong, I started in a therapy counselling process. And the the counsellor told me, she said, John, you would not believe how many people I point and say all you have to do is cross the bridge and the grass really is greener over there. But they won’t do it even though what they’re in is terrible. And because then at least the terrible is known. And so even though it looks better on the other side, that’s the unknown. And so sometimes think it takes something extreme, to force people out of that comfort zone. Even though the comfort zone sucks.
David Ralph [9:10]
My wife works in a pub, and I don’t go down there very often. But if I do, I guarantee three of the staff will say, I’m leaving. I’ve had enough of this. And they’ve been saying the same thing for 17 years. And you just look at it and you think you’re never going to leave. You’re never going to leave you just say it all the time. It’s like that boiled frog analogy, where the pot just gets hotter and hotter and the frog doesn’t jump out. I don’t know if that’s true or not. So yeah, let’s let’s spin it again. Okay, so you’re going downhill and this is one of the things that I wonder because 650,000 of debt. There must been a point when you fall. I can’t keep on throwing money in this direction, but you still didn’t stop. There must have been a point where you fall 100 grand, that’s a lot of money that I’ve invested in this. Why didn’t you stop?
John Latta [10:06]
Well, I, I knew I had to get my business up to a certain critical mass before it was start to pay for itself. But, but the real answer is I just didn’t know what I was doing. One I mean, that’s the honest answer. I thought I did. I think every entrepreneur thinks they know what they’re doing. But boy, there’s a lot of hard knocks that wait for you and a lot of lessons. But I think once I realised the extent of the problem and tried to pull back, it was too late. And it got worse and worse and worse before it got better. And so it if I were to stop feeding the monster, I might have killed the monster. So I would say it was a good six months after I realised oh my god, you know, I’ve got at least $2 Going out for every dollar coming in, I need to stop this. But I couldn’t stop the freight train for another six months after that. And so I was spending all of my money and apparently everybody else’s money too. And just I kept seeing it on papers like, Okay, if I can just get to this point, I won’t need to feed the monster anymore. But it was a good six months after I recognise like, Oh, my God, this is a train wreck, right? waiting to happen, I need to pull back on this and pull back on this. It just took a long time before I could stop the haemorrhaging completely.
David Ralph [11:25]
I see these thoughts. And I always wanted to John, because if you’re feeding the monster is not a business, a business is in it to make money. You know, I was listening to Warren Buffett the other day, and he was talking about three businesses that he tried to buy. And one of them was enterprise rent a car. And the guy had two and a half grand, but he saved up in dollars. And he managed to invest into a small business so that he could rent out 17 cars. And he turned it into enterprise. And he never once put anything more than two and a half $1,000 that he started into the business because he knew that a business has to start, stop paying you back. Otherwise, it’s not a business. And I just find it fascinating that you can get to such a high level of debt and not think to yourself, This isn’t a business. This is a slot machine that I’m just putting money in.
John Latta [12:26]
Yeah, well, he’s a hell of a lot smarter than me probably slept better at night, too. Yeah, I part of it was the nature of my business. So I started a consumer products company. It was a chemical company at the time, we were kind of ahead of the curve with a lot of biodegradable, non toxic environmentally safe kind of pet and child safe cleaning and pet products. And that what I didn’t know, you know, because like I said, I thought I knew a lot. But going in is all of the big retailers out there. When they send you orders for product, they expect your product to be made and ready to ship. So if I get an order today, they want it on the road tomorrow. And so I didn’t really understand things like what do I call a cash flow, I didn’t understand that the more I grew, the more inventory I was gonna have to keep, you know, pouring money into. And so I couldn’t understand even when it looked like I was on paper started the make money, why I never had any money, it will die, it kept going into more and more inventory. You know, there was, you know, probably a couple of 100,000 tied up in inventory at any one moment. And that was a huge learning curve for me as well as like, how much inventory do I make? How much in advance do I make? How much do I tie up in cash and I was just learning on the fly David
David Ralph [13:46]
is interesting because I guest coming on the show I’ve had a few of them over the years actually, that teach people how to create similar businesses but using the power of Amazon to actually maintain the stock and deliver the stock and you just actually have to sort of pay based and take the profit out away from it. And although I think to myself Yes, that’s the way forward that’s that’s brilliant and the way I use Amazon like everybody else, but it’s the first thing I Google because you can just find things easily. There’s a big bit of me that screams no because this is gonna kill other people’s businesses you know, is not standing a chance. It’s a it’s a devil, an angel I’ve got on my shoulder with this, but I do understand that you can’t really have a business if you’ve got too much stock sitting around waiting for the orders or having some kind of delay because you’ve still got employees wages and and everything else to pay out. Yep, yeah. It’s not easy. It’s not easy. I’ve got an offline business myself. And I know exactly what you’re saying. When I look at it sometimes I think we’ve taken this much, but we still haven’t got that much in the bank where where’s it going? And then you walk along and you look at the shelves and you say to the staff, did you buy that in? Did you buy that in? Yeah, I thought we needed it. Yeah. But we don’t need nine of them, we only need two of them, you know. So I understand totally what you’re saying. So, when you change direction, it can’t be a simple act of you going, I’m going to be open, I’m going to be just just sort of free with my emotions. And things changed, can it?
John Latta [15:29]
Well, in my case, it all happened in slow motion. And like I said, to me, I felt like I was in the worst form of shit and hell, because practically overnight, I was you know, what, from being a good businessman to a bad businessman, and then throwing a bad husband and a bad dad and, and a grown man running around behind closed doors and fear of death. And and I didn’t even know who I would have or could have talked to about any of that, because I was so you know, it’s like the Nazi skinhead, but suddenly decides he’s in love with his black neighbour, not possibly admitted to anybody. So I wouldn’t even have admitted that I, I wanted a spiritual solution to this dilemma in my head. So it just all happened in slow motion. And it was so weird, it was all perfect. Looking back, it was all perfect. And it all began with both me entering a group therapy process. And at the same time, I went to my first ever spiritual retreat. I didn’t have a lot of great spiritual experiences there. But for the first time in my life, I realised I kept people at a distance, and I didn’t know how to be truly intimate and vulnerable with other people. And I realised I craved it, and I liked it. And that that began the whole journey. It didn’t happen instantly. It wasn’t easy. I do have a chapter in my book about suddenly being in touch with dreams and how dreams would inform things for me. And on one of the first days of my group therapy process, I had this profound dream where it was a weirdest thing. i There were other men in the group. But practically, within a week or two, I was pretty much the only man with 10 women and two women therapists, and I just felt like a man alone there. And this dream comes where all the women in my group are gathered together and said, Hey, we’re all getting together appeals shrimp, but we’re worried about John. And in the dream, I say, Well, why are you worried about that? I love shrimp. And they said, Well, you know, peeling shrimp can be really painful and really messy. And they didn’t really get the symbolism or the metaphor there until looking back, going through a process like that feels like having your shell ripped off. At least that’s how I experienced it. And that was a painful, messy process. I wanted to peel everybody else’s shell off. But no way did I want my shell peeled off. That began the whole journey in the countless ways that you might say, I opened my mind and opened my heart in ways I didn’t know were possible.
David Ralph [18:02]
is interesting, because I had a conversation with my wife last night, we went out for a meal. And I we were talking about how so few people you can actually rely on you, you think that they’re there for you, you think that they’re friends, but actually, when push comes to shove, they’re not there. And I said to her, I’ve only got two people that I can rely on. I said, you and me and I come first. I’m the one who actually will sort out 99% of my issues, probably 100% of my issues. I’m the one that tries to keep problems away from everybody else. So I don’t know if I could do. I don’t know if I could be a peeled shrimp. I think I’ve got too many layers on me to be out. But to do this and just sort of open up. Do you have to be underneath the shrimp peeling? Do you have to be the right kind of person? Because I don’t think it would naturally sit with me at all.
John Latta [19:02]
That’s a great question. I don’t know the answer is sometimes I think, you know, I think we don’t always see it, but our lives have a pattern that’s unfolding and I don’t know if it’s because I would never have perceived myself as being that kind of person. But you know, if you hit rock bottom enough, it’s amazing how you can kind of open up and there’s something really freeing in the opening up and so to answer your question, I just think it’s timing you know, if it’s you and it’s your time, and it’s time for you to open up it’s gonna happen whether you like it or not, or you can fight it tooth and nail but I found it. I didn’t think I would ever like to be appealed shrimp, but I found it really freeing and so did other people
David Ralph [19:53]
around you go well, what’s this isn’t John I don’t know what he’s doing it this is just weird because I I think a lot of people in my life would look at me and go, he’s having a midlife crisis. He’s having a breakdown or something, because it’s just not me.
John Latta [20:09]
Well, you probably know, David, I mean, having hosted a podcast for 10 years. I mean, it’s, it’s not just, you know, revealing all your shit to the world, it’s really just about being honest and authentic. Really, that’s what it kind of feels like there’s something freeing about taking the mask off, and just, yep, this is who I am, this is what I’m going through, it doesn’t mean you have to advertise it to the world. 24/7. But that’s how I just became more comfortable with, I guess you might say other people knowing my secrets. It’s like, you get dry public figures that happens all the time, they get dragged through the mud, and the whole damn world knows about it. And instead of fighting that, it’s kind of freeing to just go well, yep, that’s what happened. I didn’t like one little bit that were looking at me and saying, geez, you know, what a loser, you lost all his money, and his wife walked out on him. And, and Jason, he’s afraid of death. You know? I didn’t like that. But then after a while, all of what I perceived to be other people’s judgments to me. I just didn’t care anymore. All right, let’s say I cared a whole lot less.
David Ralph [21:18]
Let’s hear from that makes sense. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Let’s hear from Rocky, we’ll be back with John,
Rocky Balboa [21:23]
you, me or nobody? You’re gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
David Ralph [21:39]
Now, what fascinates me is the rock bottom scenario. Number one, how do you know that you’ve hit rock bottom, first of all, and you haven’t got? Because I remember there was a woman on my show, probably, I don’t know, eight years ago. And she basically described how she hit rock bottom. And then she went deeper. And then she thought, Oh, that wasn’t rock bottom. This is even worse. And she went down about four times. And she said that there was always a level that’s deeper. So how does it feel when you’re laying bare, and you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom? Because to have you or is, you know, deeper and deeper grounds you can dig?
John Latta [22:22]
I think there’s always a deeper Grandy can dig. I don’t think that that process ever ends. I think when the average person, myself included, says rock bottom, it’s more like oh my god, I’m now confronting my greatest fear or fears. You know, I knew a gal who said her greatest fear would be to have no money live in a trailer park, eat at McDonald’s all the time and be 100 pounds overweight. And so that would have been her rock bottom? Well, and she was really upfront about it. That would have been,
David Ralph [22:54]
I think, I think she did to me.
John Latta [22:57]
Yeah, well, and so my rock bottom probably was, you know, just fearing how other people would see me and perceived by others to be a loser. You know, I wow, he had it all. And then he lost it all, what the hell happened to him. And so, and I so bankruptcy, trying to raise my kids alone, running around fear of death and afraid to talk to anybody about it. That was my personal rock bottom for somebody else. It might be, you know, an alcohol addiction or heroin addiction where they’ve just, they’ve lost all their money, all the relationships, they’ve lost everything, you know, they’re living in their car, that might be their rock bottom. But, you know, I think if you dig deep enough, there’s always just some fundamental fear that’s driving all of what everybody’s I would call fear and ego kind of intertwined. And so everybody’s rock bottom is unique to them.
David Ralph [24:02]
Well, I wonder as well is why we’ve so many people that say they’ve hit rock bottom, and they’ve bounced back. And so many Uber celebrities that ended up sleeping in a car or sleeping on a railway track and stop and fought their way back. why more people don’t go, when actually it doesn’t sound too bad. I reckon I could deal with this, I could risk a bit more to see what I could make of my life instead of being overcautious over time. I speak to so many listeners of Join Up Dots. And we talk about starting online businesses and stuff. And one of the things they always say is how long would it take, and how much money would I need to put into it? And I go, you can’t really answer that. It’s, you know, it’s down to you. It’s down to your work effort. But they they want to know the answers for stuff. And that’s not how life occurs. You know, life is what happens when you’re done. As you might have uplines John Lennon said, and it’s true
John Latta [25:05]
or are you nailed the thing that I think stops almost everybody from making a clean break or a new start in their life is, if they can’t know in advance what it’s gonna be like on the other side, they don’t make the leap. And, but all the growth comes when you make the leap, and you figure it out along the way. And that was my experience. And I’ve had those experiences in my life too, or I leapt probably a little quicker than I should have. But a lot of growth comes when you when you leap before you look,
David Ralph [25:36]
do you have to learn toe or you know, because we talked about the, the slide of faith instead of the leap of faith where you kind of you look at it and go, Okay, I’m gonna give myself six months, I’m going to really work hard, I’m going to prepare for it, I’m going to plan and then I’ll be at a position hopefully, when it’s all right, instead of doing what I did, where I went, bugger you company. I’m sick of you. And I walked out and then sort of panicked for about six months. Yeah. Do you actually have to leap nowadays? Because I don’t think you do. Do you really think it’s too dramatic? In many ways?
John Latta [26:11]
Well, I think it’s a personality thing. You know, just like you said earlier, it just might not be in your nature to be that super revealing kind of person, you know, to be the peeled shrimp out in the world. I think there are people that just they’re impulsive. They’re spontaneous, you know. I don’t know what it’s like in the UK. But I think in the US, that’s, that’s probably more people, they just, they plunge in. And I’ve, I’ve known people like that they don’t overthink it. Like, I just want to do this, and they just do. So partly, I think it’s just the nature of their personality. They’re more fiery, they’re more impulsive, the worst spontaneous, they, they they just jump, I actually do think it’s a jump for some people, other people will ease into it more cautiously. I think the majority of people like you said, or they talk about it. They just don’t do it.
David Ralph [27:01]
Now there’s people like, say, Steve Jobs, for example, okay, he created the whole fame of Join Up Dots. And he did something else. We have apple and Pixar and stuff. But basically, he’s legacies Join Up Dots. And he was somebody that got better, because of his failures, and the stripping away of ego and attitude, to the point where he realised that he needed to get the help from other people. And he, he could only have become Steve Jobs, legend CEO and not Steve Jobs failure sitting in a in some apartment somewhere just drinking out of a can of blogger in the morning, you know, he had to had those failures to get where he wants. And that to me excites me. Because I don’t think there’s any failure other than stepping in front of a lorry at 90 miles an hour, but I can’t get past. It’s just something that you have to look at it and go again.
John Latta [28:00]
I love the Steve Jobs story. And you probably saw his commencement speech at Stanford University. It’s one of my favourite speeches ever, because that’s what happened to me. Not exactly the same. But you know, he, first of all he talked about, I’m going to call it Synchronicity or coincidences, you know, what an unlikely coincidence that he would drop out of school, but hang around for 18 months and start taking the classes he wanted to take. And so the ones he had to take, and who the hell knew that the calligraphy class he took just for fun ended up being the thing that put the Apple Macintosh computer on the market, because it was the first computer to have multiple fonts to choose from. And that was so cool at the time. And, and the humility, you know, that he got fired from his own company, they found somebody else they thought would be a better CEO. And he was very humiliated in a public way by that. And I think He nursed his wounds for like six months, and the ability to ask other people for help, especially when you’re really intelligent like he was. That’s been a huge learning curve for me. I mean, literally, in that group therapy process with other women. They were trying to teach me you have to ask for help ask other people for help. Oh my god, that was so hard for me. And so getting dragged through the mud, getting dragged through the shit when times are really difficult. I really believe that for a lot of pert people, if they open up to it, here comes the growth, whether you like it or not. And to this day, it’s still not really easy for me, but nobody can run a company of any size without learning to start reaching out to others for help. You can’t do it all by yourself and get very big can be done but not very easily. At some point. You’re reaching out to others to help.
David Ralph [29:47]
But men aren’t good at doing that. I’m not doing that. You know that the classic thing is Why did Moses walk around the desert for 40 days because he wasn’t willing to stop and ask for directions and not it’s kind of true. You know, my wife would always say to me, why don’t you just stop and ask that person? I go, Oh, no, it’s all I’ll be able to fight. You know, and I don’t know what it is. But there is certainly a difference between women and men when it comes to accepting our failings. Oh, that’s
John Latta [30:16]
very true with my own wife. She’s just a master networker communicator, very willing to ask people for help. And I’m just like, not configured out. Now I know where I am. So yeah. But of course, she comes to shove, I will ask for help nowadays. So
David Ralph [30:31]
I know when did that when did that start? Because certainly we have people through Join Up Dots. I always say to them, you know, reach out, I help you reach out to other people, you know, people are they’re willing to help you. And I’m a great believer in that now. When did it actually turn in your direction? When you thought actually, people aren’t just going to tell me to go away, they are going to say, Yeah, I’ll give you 1015 minutes, I’ll give you 20 minutes, I’ll have a coffee with you and help you.
John Latta [31:04]
I think sounds kind of humbling to say it, I think when I got my ego out of the way, you know, when I first got divorced, and a custom a kids and all these other moms running over bringing me food, like, oh, this poor guy, he’s got kids in a nine year old and 11 year old and he’s got a job, and he’s trying to raise them all by himself. And they were gonna bring me food. And I didn’t want him to do that, because I didn’t want him to know my problems. And so I had to kind of make peace with the fact like, yeah, you’re human to John, and you’re going through a difficult time, it’s okay. And then I think I just clicked for me one day, like, oh, you know, some people actually like to help in so why not let them help you. So it was more like swallowing my pride is learned. Once I learned to swallow my pride, it got easier for me to ask for help. And I realised that people didn’t see it as a bother some people genuinely like to help I like to help other people. I’m just not as good about asking for that help.
David Ralph [32:05]
So what about when people ask for help VO and then don’t do anything with it. You know, I see that. See that so much. Where I can spend hours with people, and they just don’t do anything. It’s just like, they want the help, but they don’t have the action.
John Latta [32:24]
Yeah, I’ve seen that a lot. And I don’t know. The answer that question I had I, that was a huge thorn. In my side. I hated that, too. And I asked the therapist about that, because we I was put into that group therapy process. And I was mortified that one of the women had been in the group for seven years and didn’t seem like she changed very much. And I asked the therapists about it, you know, just the two of us. And she said, John, you have to understand 1/3 of my business is nothing but hand holding. And so I just made peace with that. Some people want to complain, they want to be heard and seen and acknowledged, but they don’t want to change. And so I
David Ralph [33:06]
was seven years, John, I would have kicked. Yes, that’s a bit.
John Latta [33:12]
That’s a long time, but I just kind of, and that same woman would look at me and like going, Wow, I wish I could be like you. And I didn’t really know what that meant. But she meant like, you see what your problem is, and you’re out there actively trying to take action. And she didn’t perceive that she was that kind of person. So
David Ralph [33:32]
yeah, but I know what her problem was. She was going to the same bloody place for seven years, you know, she should have tried somewhere else.
John Latta [33:40]
I think I know, but I think she had a comfort level there. And, you know, I also learned over time, at least, you know, bringing it back to kind of the spiritual journey. Everybody’s at where they’re at, you know, some people liken it to a stairway and everybody’s on their own step. And some people will literally stay on that same step their whole life, and others might move up one step, or some might move up 10 steps and so it took me years to just let go and if she wants to go to the same group for seven years, and not much is changing in her life, she’s still kind of suffering over the same things. You know, you can’t What’s that? You? You can take a horse to water but you can’t make them drink,
David Ralph [34:24]
but you’re a bad person. And that actually annoys me that the full of fat I feel like grabbing her and I don’t know why I don’t know who the woman is, but just the concept of seven years of of inactivity and Limbo land.
John Latta [34:42]
Yeah. Now and I think I’m gonna, you know, I’ll use astrology, you know, just as a symbol, you know, we all have some part of Earth Air, Fire and Water. She probably doesn’t have a lot of what you would just call fire in her chart and fire Is that sort of initiating catalytic energy that’s gonna go take charge of life take charge of a situation. I’ve got it in spades. If anything, I had to learn how to back that off. But she just maybe doesn’t have that initiating energy and I, it took me years, there’s people I even tried to push into being entrepreneurs. And I felt bad about it later, they weren’t supposed to be an entrepreneur, entrepreneurial person. And so I backed off a lot. I try and support people like where they want to go, I try and help them but man, I do not push people anymore.
David Ralph [35:31]
But to be honest, if somebody was pushing me into becoming an entrepreneur, who was 650,000 in debt, I’d probably I’d probably look for other advice. Who I want to follow
John Latta [35:45]
on John’s path. Yeah, I probably would have done the same thing, David.
David Ralph [35:52]
You know what, you know, John, you know what, you know, and there is not that. So let’s talk about your book for synchronicity of life. Because one of the things I know about books is, it’s in many ways, it’s easy to write them. But it’s very hard to get people to read them. It’s very difficult to actually get it out there. Has that surprised you? How difficult it is getting your book seen by anyone?
John Latta [36:19]
Well, yes, and no, I’m kind of a numbers guy since I ran a chemical company for God’s sakes for a lot of years. So I have to, and I figured out a way to not keep haemorrhaging cash. So I’m a numbers guy. And I had some sobering numbers thrown at me, especially during COVID, where apparently everybody with nothing else to do said, Well, I’m going to write a book. And the sobering numbers are, I think, the last year or two that 2 million books a year are being published, and the average new book sells 40 copies. I knew the numbers going in. But you know, I did sell my company. I am semi retired now. And so I’m out here, playing book marketer now. But I’m really lucky, I don’t, I’m not my my fate, financially is not dependent on selling 1000s and 1000s of books. And, yep, it’s been difficult. But I know, if you remember, in the beginning, I said, I read Think and Grow Rich and the magic of thinking big when I was really young, and they were very transformative for me. I know in my heart of hearts, that there are people that would connect with this book, and the people that have freaking love it. And so I’m gonna keep pushing, and I’m gonna see where it goes. And I don’t feel the pressure to sell X number of copies. But I know there’s 100,000 people out there that would love and benefit from the book, I just got to find them. That is the challenge for every entrepreneur, that selling anything. They know they have a great product or a great service. It’s the marketing part, how do I get in front of them? You know, there’s so much noise out there with the Internet. And it’s just it is really hard to reach your tribe or your people. That is the challenge?
David Ralph [38:03]
Well, the challenge is not to think that you’ve got a great product, and then find your people find your people and get them to tell you what is a great product. You know, and that’s the different thing. I see once again, so many people want to create businesses and income, but not ever speak to anyone and just sit behind their laptop and just kind of become an invisible person. And I don’t understand where it’s gone wrong. As in 1000 years ago, you’d or 100 years ago, you’d set up a market store and people would walk past you and you would talk to them. And I think it went wrong when the internet started. It’s been brilliant in certain ways. But it’s also stopped anyone really wanting to connect somehow I don’t understand it.
John Latta [38:50]
Yeah, I love it. I have a friend that says the world is getting better and worse at the same time. And that’s how I feel about it. Like I admit, I’m one of those people that just freakin loves ordering from Amazon. I wasn’t the kind of person that loves to go shopping and traffic and parking and I hate returning things. And so I love the click, click Send done. And most of the time it’s here the next day. But I know a lot of people you know my parents even talk about it late they miss the shopping mall. They miss interacting with people, they miss getting out and looking in stores and boy in this area. The shopping malls store store friends, I want to I don’t know what the number is, but I’m gonna say 50% of them have disappeared and they’re replaced by restaurants and condos now. Yeah, so it’s sad at the same time I got it. I love the convenience.
David Ralph [39:45]
We all love the convenience and I thought my wife was having an affair with a man from Amazon because he was turning up seven times a day. Every time I’d walk home there was a knock on the door and think oh, it’s Amazon and yeah, it was it was always Amazon. And now we’ve become the kind of point of reference of neighbours Amazon packages, because I kind of work from home, I’m generally around I am, they knock on their door, and I think they just started coming to us now we were like a postal service. Anyway, let’s listen to a speech you referenced earlier, Steve Jobs,
Steve Jobs [40:19]
of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [40:53]
So how do you find the trust when things are crappy? You know, we can look back and we can see how the dots joined up. But how do you find that bat trust in that faith?
John Latta [41:06]
Well, first of all, I will say I love that little clip you played and I literally have tears in my eyes hearing it because that has been my experience. And so how do you find the trust? I think it comes with age, time and wisdom. I could do it now. I couldn’t do it. 2030 years ago, I didn’t have enough experience being knocked down and getting up again. And so I think that trust comes from, okay, I’ve gotten myself in a hole. But I’ve done it before. And it actually turned out to be a good thing. Or this is a really difficult, horrifying time in my life. Well, I’ve gone through difficult, horrifying times in my life before to hate to say it. They were great growth edges to it. So I think it sounds kind of cliche, I think it comes with age experience and wisdom.
David Ralph [41:55]
Can you you know, in that regard vein that the question to throw it back at you is we should never make the same mistake twice. Because you’ve lived it. You’ve gotten the wisdom. But I know time and time again. When I look at things. I think I’ve done it again. Well, why why have I done that again?
John Latta [42:15]
Yeah. Okay, so I want to say, David, I’ve made every mistake in the book. But for me, usually only once or twice. And so I I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I have been kind of like that entrepreneur that jumps in a little too quickly. And looking back because I don’t know shit, you know. But I don’t think that’s been my experience. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I usually learned from them.
David Ralph [42:45]
I bet my biggest mistakes are a kind of a switch from an opposing point of view. I didn’t trust anyone. And then I thought that’s a bad mistake. And then I trusted everyone. And everyone screwed me over and then I went back to trusting no one. And I do that I kind of lurched from one position to another. After a while I kind of go right that’s the last time that’s gonna happen to me and I I pulled up my moat and I put the crocodiles in the in the river, you know, and I I protect myself and benefit now that’s not getting me anywhere. I’ve got to be more open. So what can you teach me about being open and honest? How can I bring the synchronicity of love into my life, John, in an easy way? Wow, that’s
John Latta [43:31]
a that’s a great question. Well, first of all I’ve been I’ve experienced exactly what you’ve experienced. And I think that pendulum sometimes in some people’s lives, like yours in mind swings back and forth, like I’m going to be this way well, that’s not really working. swing the pendulum to the complete other end. Oh, that was too far. So the magic is in the balance and that’s not the same as saying being right in the middle. It’s, I think it’s just learning to have discernment, like and this is going to come back to what I would call intuition. I got so excited about open vulnerable and intimate that I was one of those too much information people for a while. I was you know, turning people away. And so I realise you know, there’s a time and a place and my intuition was telling me like, Hey, this is a person you can really trust open up to talk about things you know, and this is another person that’s completely shut down don’t don’t try and pry I’m open and so I’ve had to learn to listen that wee little voice and seismic inside me that says it will it will tell me but my I’m gonna call my ego my mind or ever call it it’s loud. And it overrides that little voice that says this is a person just just keep to yourself, John. And, and so I still think the answer is both. There’s a time to just be No, put the crocodiles in the moat. And there’s a time to be open, vulnerable and honest and and developing your intuition is the best way to know in each and every situation what to do what to say. I don’t know if that answers your question
David Ralph [45:18]
perfectly, because I agree with that totally that intuition, gut feeling. When you talk to somebody, you think I don’t really like this person, walk away from them. There’s something that’s telling you that they’re, they’re not right for you. And I think intuition is something that actually is our superpower. And I think that’s the thing. Yeah, most of us switch off from because we think, oh, I’ll just ignore that. And I will, you know, I’ll get get back quicker than if it looks too good to be true. It always is. And your intuition knows the way
John Latta [45:53]
Oh, you just nailed one of the favourite parts of my whole journey. So first of all, Einstein had this great quote, he said, I’m gonna get this exactly right. Intuition is the gift and logic is his faithful servant. But we’ve elevated the servant and forgotten the gift. And so what I learned in the last 20 years, and all the stories I shared with my book, and I actually did learn something was me and probably most people, you become creatures of habit. And so I’m going to use the example of, if you’re three years old, and you got bitten sort of savagely by a big black dog, it probably would be normal for the rest of your life to be petrified and terrified of big black dogs, or even dogs. But do you really want to go through your whole life that way. And so the gift I discovered, following this path of what I call, unconditional love, and I started with a practice of heart centred meditation and trying to be more, not only open and intimate with others, but with myself, being honest with myself, was intuition came on board, and I’m still not great at it, David, I still override it with what I would call old habits. But I’m learning to trust that intuition. And time after time, after time, I look at a situation and go, you know, I don’t think I have to do it that way anymore. And so the the mind loves to create predictability, that, you know, we get into habits, that’s why probably the guy who says he wants to leave the bar, but he’s been there for 17 years. The mind also likes predictability, there’s a sense of safety there. And so I’m learning to listen to that quiet little superpower voice inside me, and not let the habits of my mind run my life anymore.
David Ralph [47:35]
Yeah, I think that’s absolutely perfect. And I think that’s a message to everybody out there, we kind of know the answers. We know how our life should be. We just got to allow ourselves to, to deal with that and accept it, instead of thinking like I do a lot. I know it’s wrong, but by would prefer me to do it that way. Or, you know, and just for a happy life, you know, I live in a house full of women. And it’s very easy to have an unhappy life when you when you annoy a bunch of women. So I kind of just float through trying to do the easy thing instead of going, Yeah, it’s not going to happen. Well, what I’m going to do, John, before we send you, on your way is take you on one last journey, and this is the part of the show we called a sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young John, what age would you love to speak to? And what would you tell him? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the music. And when it fades, it’s your time to talk to each other is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [48:43]
Here we go with the best bit of the show the Sermon on the mind the sermon on
John Latta [49:01]
so what I would tell my younger self, and I probably go back, probably to my 30s. And I think I would tell myself, life goes in cycles, individual lives, you know, collective humanity, things go in cycles. When you’re in the shit, I would tell my little younger self, this too shall pass. But there’s what I would loosely call good and bad in everything. And, you know, I know, some older folks that are still around that survived the Great Depression, and yes, it was terrible, you know, 25% unemployment. But everybody also talked about how everybody pitched in and they work together and everybody was really close and they actually miss that intimacy and that sense of being a team and working together. You know, probably the complete opposite of our internet age like we have today. And, and so, I think the thing I would tell my younger self difficult There’s a can be is to embrace every single moment and total trust and super easy to say. Really hard to do but you try to embrace the moment.
David Ralph [50:12]
Perfect I Bice perfect advice. So John, for the people out there listening today, how can they connect with you? And how can they find a copy of your synchronicity, synchronicity of love, and don’t just say Amazon, don’t just say because we’re not going to push more business to them.
John Latta [50:27]
Okay, you can find my book, the synchronicity of love stories that heal, transform awaken on Barnes and noble.com most places that books are sold, and that that other big bookseller that shall not be named right now. And, and it’s a you can find me on my website. It’s John David louder.com, la TTA. My book is written 119 short stories, true stories. And it really explores in my experience the relationship with as I learned to explore unconditional love, how more and more what I would call magical synchronicities miracles, and coincidences started to happen. Things I didn’t think were possible kept having over and over and over again.
David Ralph [51:12]
And has the dots joined up for you?
John Latta [51:16]
Absolutely. In fact, I love your playing that Steve Jobs piece because how so perfect. Connect the dots. Absolutely amazing.
David Ralph [51:24]
John, thank you so much for being with us today. Joining up those dots. Please come back again, when you’ve got more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our paths is always the best way to build our futures. John, thank you so much.
John Latta [51:39]
I’m very grateful to you, David. I love chatting with you.
David Ralph [51:44]
Mr. John that latter, so he hit rock bottom. And he fought his way back just by being willing to be open. And I think there’s a lot to be said about valuable. We were talking about intuition. We’re talking about reaching out and asking for help, and not being too precious about your failures. And that certainly how dots join up, you will go through dark times you will go through ways when you’re thinking, What a bloody hell should I be doing? I don’t know. And one of the easiest ways is ask somebody who does know because they will help you forward through to, you know, to new pastures. And that’s everything that Join Up Dots has always been about giving you the competence to move forward, and be inspired enough to make things happen and create the life that you deserve. And when you’re laying on your deathbed, you look back and go, that was a ride. That was a ride and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Until next time, my Friends as always, thank you so much for being here with Join Up Dots, come across to Join Up Dots and we’ve got a free podcast course launch now that’s on there. We’ve got other courses to help you build new habits and get the best sleep and stuff. It’s all coming on to the website at join up dots.com. But of course you can stay listening to us if you wish, and we will be happy with that as well. Until next time, I’ll see you again. Cheers. See ya. Bye bye.
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