Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Katherine Liola
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Introducing Katherine Liola
Katherine Liola is today’s guest joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast and is a guest has a different way of looking at our finances.
She is the co-founder of Concentric Private Wealth, based in North Virginia, a financial planning company with a difference.
She doesn’t believe in budgets.
She doesn’t believe that giving your children money is always the best thing to do.
She doesn’t believe that all financial advice is right for all people.
As she says “There’s more to financial planning than pre-made forms and plugging numbers into an automated tool.
We prefer to discuss your goals, of course – but dive a little deeper, talk through your situation, and fully understand why you make the choices you make.
So we begin with a conversation.
You’re investing for specific goals, life milestones, dreams you’d like to play out.
The deeper our understanding, the better we can ensure your financial well-being.
So as you can see this is going to be a different episode of Join Up Dots for sure.
So when was the epiphany that there was a different way of operating our bank accounts and finances?
And was she great at controlling her own money, or like most financial people that we have spoken to, learnt late after digging a hole for themselves?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Katherine Liola.
During the show we discussed such deep weighty subjects with Katherine Liola such as:
Katherine shares the biggest lessons that she gained from her parents and the reasons why it changed her life.
We discuss how spending habits could be strictly linked to our own personalities and our own personal beliefs more than anything else.
How we don’t teach people to truly understand themselves so they can make the choices of what is important to them.
Katherine reveals how this financial message actually took her thirty years to fully allow it to burst to the surface.
How To Connect With Katherine Liola
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Katherine Liola Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Yes, hello, a good morning world. Good morning, and welcome, of course, to Join Up Dots, the motivational conversational and I would like to say inspirational podcast that comes from the United Kingdom across the globe. Well, today, we’ve got a guest on the other end. And normally I get a lot of people pitching to come on the show, and they have financial advisors. And to be honest, I think it’s a bit boring. Now this guest came with a different spin on it. And I thought, This is interesting. This is more what we can do and Join Up Dots. So let me tell you a little bit about it. She is a guest who has a different way of looking at our finances. She’s the co founder of concentric private wealth based in North Virginia, a financial planning company with a difference now, she doesn’t believe in budgets, how are you say she doesn’t believe that giving your children money is always the best thing to do either. And she doesn’t believe all financial advice is right for all people. And she says there’s more to financial planning and pre made forms and plugging numbers into an automated tool. We prefer to discuss your goals, of course, but dive a little deeper talk through your situation and fully understand why you make the choices you make. So we begin with a conversation. you’re investing for specific goals, life milestones, dreams you’d like to play out, and the deeper our understanding, the better we can ensure your financial well being. So as you can see, this is going to be a bit of a different episode of Join Up Dots for sure. So when was the epiphany that there was a different way of operating our bank accounts and finances? And was she great at controlling her money all the time? Or like most financial people that we’ve spoken to learn late after digging a hole for themselves? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start joining up with the one and only Katherine Liola. Good morning, Katherine.
Katherine Liola [2:18]
Hello, David. How are you?
David Ralph [2:19]
I’m very well caffeine. I’m very well. I have been recording podcast episodes all day. You’re my last I can see a beer waiting for me in the garden. So Life is good. So you’re you’re just starting your day, you’re you’re about 12 o’clock lunchtime.
Katherine Liola [2:36]
Well, yes, but I have three little kids. So My day starts really early, but it’s still dark out. Because my kids don’t necessarily like to sleep in.
David Ralph [2:44]
IH when they when they get up at three o’clock in the morning and want to watch TV, and all you want to do is basically send them back to bed.
Katherine Liola [2:54]
They really our kids really like to come into our bed, which we try so hard to prevent. Man, it’s tough to I get them to go back to their bed. So that’s where I’m at in life right now.
David Ralph [3:05]
Did you know what we did? Do you know what we did? Catherine, when you know, I’ve now got five kids, most of them grown up there now producing grandchildren for us. And so we’ve been food and make your bedroom as boring as possible. Take away any Wi Fi take away TVs take away anything. And we used to say to our kids where you can come into bed with us. But we’re not going to talk to you. And you can’t make any noise and there’s no TV and they used to just go back to their own rooms. Brilliant. Yeah, get rid of
Katherine Liola [3:35]
it. And our family. It’s not the TV. It’s they’re literally just coming into cuddle, I mean, so it’s hard to send it back when all they want is extra cuddles. But man, these kids, they really know how to push you to the side of the king bed. And even if living on this very small section of the mattress that’s actually for you. So well.
David Ralph [3:56]
In that regard, you put it on yourself, I’ve got no no sympathy for you, too. Now, let’s get into your actual financial planning because he is very, very different and excited me and I do get so many people say oh, I’m a financial advisor from Minnesota. And I can’t be bothered to even open this conversation. Now, with you. Where did this come from? This idea of actually, it’s not about investing is about what you want to do is about your lifestyle. It’s about the person, the individual, when did this actually come to you?
Katherine Liola [4:29]
Well, I think it’s actually always been part of me, I’m the oldest of five kids. And I grew up in a single income household. My mom did go back to work after my youngest sibling was born, she actually went to law school when she was 38 years old, and then went to work after that. But I grew up in a family where we really didn’t have a lot of money, we had actually very limited financial resources. But we had this plethora of opportunities my parents took us to the museums and why washington dc which are actually free, which is really a special thing for a city. But also we climbed different parks and went to different places, and they just figured it out. And there is this feeling of you could be anything, which was one of the biggest gifts that my parents gave to myself and each of my siblings. As time went on, I soon did realise how little money that we did have. So it came in the form of seeing that kids were wearing different clothes, or we’re going on different trips or had better cars, or shiny or cars. But it was really when I graduated from college, and I was in the real world. And I saw how quickly people who had this spirit in them prior to graduating from college, that that spirit began to become a little bit more adult. And I didn’t really know why I just assumed that it was kind of the grind of your 20s. But after I was in the business for a while I started right out of college as a financial advisor. And I was working with people out of college who were typically somewhere between 45 to 65. And I realised that that spirit that I’d seen in some of the people that were similar to my age, I was beginning to Dell was almost gone for a lot of people when they’re coming closer to their retirement years. And that’s what gave me a lot of policy. But because it was like, wow, after all of these decades of working and living, what is it all for just to have a certain dollar amount in the bank and to be able to say that you retired at x age like what is that all for? So that was really where the pause came in. Of course, there’s a lot of other life experiences that maybe pivot and make much more of a focus in terms of living fully living independently at all ages, and not just for a future date.
David Ralph [6:55]
I think I think that’s very, very depressing, inspiring, but depressing as well. Because Yeah, so many all on that route to being you know, all I have to look forward to is having their lunch at 10 o’clock in the morning, because I’ve already had breakfast at four, and just wandering around in shorts and white socks. That’s that’s what I see in America, I see a lot of people, a lot of old people. It’s different. Actually, I think of this, it just dawned on me what the difference was. In America, I’d see the old people in the United Kingdom, we don’t, they kind of just sit in a chair and rot. And so you don’t see them at all. But in America, they’re a little bit more active, and they’re sort of wandering around with a little flat caps and stuff. Now, we’ve asked, Is there the earliest age we can do to really make a go at our finances? Or is it you know, is it a case of now when you in your 20s go out at sex get drunk and just be mad? Because that’s what youth is all about? Should we say? No, actually, there’s a different way of operating?
Katherine Liola [7:57]
Well, I would say first that there are people, many people that I see who are in the retirement years having a great time and living life fully. And that’s wonderful. Where my pause Kenan was, oh my gosh, like we’re living in a culture, at least in the states where people are being fed this notion of safe retirement. So when you’re retired, you can go travel the world and go out to these fancy places for dinner. And to me, it was more of like, first of all, that’s only defining what’s important in one way. What about doing other things, whether it’s climbing mountain, or whether it’s just spending time with the people that you care about. And for me, it was more about really centering in on where that person was at that moment, and not be so future oriented. Now, I’m a very future oriented person in terms of living and seeing what’s ahead of us. And I do believe that we need to have responsibility for what’s ahead of us. With that said, if we’re just saving for a future day, we’re not doing anything, and where we are at that moment. And then we’re going to have some massive problems, because there’s a compounding effect, about not taking action or not doing things that are going to really awaken our soul. So at a young age, truly, as young as preschool age, I think that’s actually when we start talking to kids about money. Now, it may not actually be just about money, because we need to build this foundation so that people can have a healthy relationship with money. So for a child, for example, let’s just say, a three year old child or four year old child, you’re not going to necessarily be talking about bank accounts, they do reference them, but there’s going to be conversations and experiences so that the child can begin to see what they enjoy. And so that that becomes part of a long term behaviour so that when they are in middle school and high school, that those type of things are continuing to be part of the focus and not just talking about achievements and terms of graduating to the next grade are doing really great in your sports or arts class. It’s about really being able to help people understand the experience, so that they can consistently over their entire life invest in themselves. First, spending money, spending time in those areas.
David Ralph [10:18]
He’s not kind of genetic row, because my daughter, you give her money, it’s gone straight out of hand, she just sees it as an opportunity to buy something. My son, he’s he’s the tightest person you can imagine a we call him squirrel for a reason. You see, he’s money, and then it disappears. But he never spends it. He will go out. We just come back from America for five weeks. And I said to him, How much money did you bring any when I didn’t bring anything I went what you came on a holiday for whole five weeks, and you didn’t bring anything at all. He said I didn’t think I needed money. And I went well, I’m not going to pay for everything. What I did, I did, I ended up paying for everything. But I think it’s genetic. I haven’t told him to be as tight as our Wotsits. And I’ve been taught her to just throw money out the window, they just kind of do it in your mind is kind of genetic thing people naturally spenders on as
Katherine Liola [11:13]
well. So I think you do have a point there are genetic characteristics about us that are going to impact how we make decisions with money. So something I believe very much in is understanding not just our personality, because that’s where there’s a lot of research and a lot of comfort in terms of people talking about like Myers Briggs, or strength finder various ways to assess our personalities. I also believe it’s important to understand the cognitive part of our brain, how we are wired to take action. And that’s something that there’s Coby KOLP, is an assessment that helps with us, but there are going to be people who were genetically more inclined to take action. So I am that type of individual, when I’m faced with all different sorts of things as one of the things that I lead, and that is take action. Now that action might be in terms of money that might be in terms of lot of different other things. Someone else might be someone who’s taking action in terms of back end. So they might take that to a money approach as well. So they might want to buy something, but they might not necessarily take that first action to buy something, maybe they’re looking at more facts before they do things that might slow down the process. Now, that’s not going to just define the money experience. There’s a lot of different influencers that come into this with nature and with nurture. But the point that I make in terms of talking about money at a young age is more about making sure that we’re investing in ourselves, so that we understand who we are as people from a value perspective, also what our strengths are, and also what our interests are to continue to be able to explore those at all stages of our life. So that the decisions that we’re making our life really are, you know, your daughter, for example, might be someone who really values by things. She also just might be at a certain age where that’s kind of what she’s doing.
David Ralph [13:10]
Both of them, I think she just likes to have stuff.
Katherine Liola [13:14]
Well, and so for her what’s really important, then, is to understand what is it that makes that so important? Now, I’m a big believer in spending money on the things that you really love spending money on. I’m also a big believer that if you’re going to do that, you also have to cut back in the areas that are not important to you. So your daughter, what is something that she really likes
David Ralph [13:37]
makeup, she’s boating years old, and she’s obsessed with makeup, and I spend all my time saying you’re 14 years old, you don’t have to just sound like a boring old dad really
Katherine Liola [13:49]
well, but you know her that might be really a little piece of that creativity in her and how she sees design. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s going to be in the world of makeup her entire Catherine, Catherine,
David Ralph [14:00]
Catherine, you’re too nice. You’re too nice. She just a waster on stuff that’s not required. Let’s be honest.
Katherine Liola [14:08]
Well, from your vantage point, with all due respect from your vantage point, but from her vantage point, there might be something that’s even bigger and deeper to that this might be a piece of creativity that’s just at the beginning stage of something that can go in another direction. So it might be Yeah, okay, you can spend money on makeup. But first of all, we have to make sure that you have the money for the makeup. So that doesn’t necessarily mean that your parents are going to give that to you, especially at that age, you might have to work for internet that’s really important. This, these are the things that you can do to earn that
David Ralph [14:42]
money in other areas while you spend up there. Because you knew I was going to be on a rant here, I’m going to jump in here. Because my kids, I don’t know if it’s the same in American I might have references on other podcast because have become very aware of it. And the parents around here being very aware of it as well. When I was a kid, we would do Jobs based on what somebody said by would pay us. So they would come along and go well, if you want to wash the car, I’ll give you a pound and you go Yeah, brilliant. I mean, you wash the car and get a pound. My kids won’t do anything unless they get a king’s ransom for it. So you say to him, you know, I’ll give you to quit to mode alone. It’s not worth it. Well, what do you mean is to quit is to quit you didn’t have five minutes ago, and then you do that job, you get to quit. Now make it 10 quid, I’m not paying you 10 quid, and so nothing gets done. I don’t think kids nowadays, actually, maybe they’ve got too much coming to them. So they don’t actually have to understand the value of what it takes to get money. It just kind of because
Katherine Liola [15:38]
I 100% agree. And And honestly, I believe that the adults are the ones who have to change that for them. You know, often millennials, for a long time got a really bad rap because they didn’t work hard, or that’s what the thought was. I personally love working with millennials. But the reality is a lot of those stereotypes that were being given where because often people were not giving them the opportunity to show what they could actually do. And so and a lot of family, parents have given their kids so much because they can they love their kids, they want them to have the best. But it’s really important for parents to be able to say, why am I giving all this? Why am I making it so easy for my kid, and how am I serving my child and I started my child by providing everything for them. It’s much easier, assuming that the resources are there, the financial research sources are there to provide for a child, per se, I’m going to give you your basic needs, the homeowner had access to for example, the family vacations and so forth. And I’ll give you some basic clothing. But if you want above this, if you want to go to the movies, if you want to do this with your friends, we’re going to have to figure out how you earn that money, whether it’s something that you’re doing, I am a big believer in not paid a child for basic chores around their house, they make you bed cleaning up after the table, I definitely do not believe in pain, a child for that. But I do believe that there are things that can have a level of payment that are projects, if you will. And there are of course, plenty of ways for even a child to earn money. Before there are legal working age, whether that is being a helper helping out with the neighbor’s yard garden, doing, again, various projects inside of the house. But there are ways for that money to be there, we have to be able to give our kids a need to want. And that’s not necessarily a one just for appreciation of goods or for them to get things that they don’t necessarily need. It’s more so that they can also understand that there is a transaction going on, there’s money coming in money coming up, because that’s how the world works. And for them to get some experience and what they’re good at.
David Ralph [18:00]
Let’s spin it on its head a little bit because we’re talking about money money going out. And one of the things you know, I love having savings, I’m very much like yourself, I’m very futuristic. And I say to my wife, you know, we might need that money. And she says, Yeah, but you might be dead tomorrow, and I go, I think I’m not going to be dead tomorrow. So I might need that money. And we have these arguments, she’s quite happy to spend it. And I’m happy to save it. Now I’ve become quite obsessed with watching these little documentaries about people living in tiny houses, where they go from a huge house, and they go down to like a shed on wheels. And they live there. And they’re quite happy. And I’ve got no overheads, and I guess few solar panels, and they’re basically living off the grid. Now, to me, that makes perfect sense, because you are reducing what’s going out. So what you’ve got in can be there for experiences. And when you see these people convert American school buses into houses and been on drive around America, you know, home tutoring their kids and stuff, I think to myself, but it surely financial advisor is greatest, it’s there is in front of you. And you can see that if you don’t spend a lot, you can experience more.
Katherine Liola [19:15]
Potentially, and I would agree in most situations, yes. But it really depends on what the person values. So if someone wants to go spend a lot of money on, let’s just say a really expensive car, well go have at it, if that’s what fills you up. If it doesn’t fill you up, then it’s a waste of money. It’s not that money or expensive things or bad things. It’s just we’ve been conditioned by what we see thrown at us through various marketing campaigns and other types of media outlets, that this is what we’re supposed to watch whether we’re at a certain income level or at a certain age, or just because that’s something that we can yearn for. What we don’t really help people focus in on is how to go within what is important to them as a person. And we need to, as an individual, understand what’s important to us. So that we know where to focus our time, we also need to know what’s important to those that we care about, especially in our immediate family. And to respect that there’s going to be differences
David Ralph [20:24]
in expensive car, I’m gonna jump in here Isn’t this an expensive car isn’t nice, just because the person wants to feel good about themselves, because we all know, we buy stuff. And we think, Oh, I’m gonna feel brilliant here. And then three weeks down the line you think, I wish I hadn’t bought that now I’ve just sort of moved on. Is isn’t that at its core, these people that are buying these expensive cars? They’re just looking for that, that gratitude, that feeling of self worth whenever there’s something lacking in their life, isn’t there?
Katherine Liola [20:54]
Surely I would say yes or no, I’d say that.
David Ralph [20:57]
Everything I say Catherine’s, you know,
Katherine Liola [21:00]
don’t you? Aren’t you so happy? There
David Ralph [21:04]
you go, you go with you.
Katherine Liola [21:06]
I would say that there are more people than not that are buying things, whether they are cars, or certain homes, or the type of clothing that are not actually aligned with what’s important to them. So big picture, yes, more people are buying things, because that’s what’s supposed to make them feel good. Now, there are people who are buying, let’s just use the car example, a fast car or an expensive car, let’s just say because they’re really into cars. And if they’re really into cars, and they have the resources for it, while still being able to support the needs of their life, short term and long term, then in my opinion, go have at it, go get that car, if that’s what feels, you know, but if you’re just really into cars, I’m not really into cars. Now, what I will say, though, is I do have an expensive car. And the reason I have an expensive car, it’s because I have three little kids with three big car seats. In terms of the safety of the kids, and the amount of time that I spend community, there is a comfort level and its safety Most importantly, requirement that I wanted with a car that put the price point of my car at a higher level than where I was driving, for example, in six and a half years ago, before I had children. So there’s me things that might move the dial a little bit in terms of why we spend in a certain way. But at the end of the day, the most important thing is that we’re actually choosing, and that’s the difference a lot of people are today, they are actually choosing the terms of making a decision, but they’re not actually choosing the direction of their life for and what ends up happening is that transaction after transaction after transaction, all of a sudden puts them in a financial position where they have to say so much more to sustain this lifestyle. Whereas getting back to what you were just saying earlier, that if they would focus more on what was actually important to them and just spend the money in higher levels of what was most important to them, then they would likely not have as many financial complexities. So we’re choosing we are the ones who are controlling a lot of these situations. Now, of course, there are many who are in financial positions where they don’t have the flexibility. And that’s not who I’m talking about as far as making decisions that aren’t aligned with what’s important to them. It is of course, a privilege to be able to have the choice to figure out where you want to spend your money. But that’s a key thing. And that we do have choices. And we can absolutely focus how we spend our money.
David Ralph [23:47]
So this is basically essentialism at its best. There’s a movement at the moment where you find out what’s right for you what you want to spend your time with. And you eliminate distractions that bring you more opportunity to have that time and what you’re saying, and I totally understand what you’re saying now, is because when I go off on vacation, I’m like a madman. My wallet is never closed. I’m like spending and I go on holiday. Come on.
Katherine Liola [24:19]
David, when you’re travelling,
David Ralph [24:20]
yeah, let’s do it. And let’s go go karting? Well, we only went go karting. Yeah, let’s do it again. We were on holiday. And I’m like a madman. But once I get home, I’m very, very tired. I’m on the person saying why is there five cans of baked beans in a coloured way? Why have we spent that extra on there drives my wife mad. So what’s essential to me is the vacations and having a good time and experience, but not rest of it?
Katherine Liola [24:47]
Well, and I think also something that’s really interesting. And this is fascinating to me when doing this a couple of is to understand the different needs for certainty in a relationship, definitely on an individual level, but also in the relationship. So some people might define certainty as Okay, I need to have X amount of cash in the bank in order for me to do anything. Another person might define certainty, as I need to know that I’m going to have a specific routine. Or it might be that they just want to know that they’re going on some really big fabulous vacation every year. But almost always, there’s going to be differences within a couple and those things can push up against each other a little bit. You know, you can have one person who values having certainty in terms of $1 amount in the bank, and another person who might value having the certainty of this adventure being part of their day to day life. Well, the person who values adventure might say to the partner who values money the day, hey, let’s go away for a weekend. And the person who values money in the bank might just say no. And that can really rub someone the wrong way.
David Ralph [26:00]
You haven’t put bugs in my house Have you because this is very, very similar to the conversations that I have with my wife almost every weekend real,
Katherine Liola [26:08]
they’re totally real. And the thing is, is that we’re all wired so uniquely, that it’s sometimes really difficult to hear each other. But yet, there’s so many similarities. So in a situation like this, from a financial perspective, it’s just important for the person for each of them to understand each other. So if a person who values event or wants to be able to randomly go away for the weekend, to be able to position it, in the sense of, Hey, honey, I see that there’s, we have X amount extra in the bank, I was thinking we might be able to use part of that to go enjoy some time together, as opposed to just like, hey, let’s go away for the weekend and spend money.
David Ralph [26:48]
Because I phrase it as I am about going away for a weekend for a bit of sexy time and I get I got no, I got no straight away. So I’m phrasing it wrong. You’re saying?
Katherine Liola [26:58]
Well, I don’t know you well enough. But I’m gonna use that phrase, when I go home with my husband. As far as going away for a sexy time, I’ll probably bust out laughing but I’m gonna appreciate that.
David Ralph [27:09]
I’ll tell you why it’d be looking at his calendar instantly. It’ll be cancelling interviews and appointments and whatever he’s got, we will know Ted will. He will. Dogs on hate men, we we never lose it, we never lose it. So with yourself, Catherine, because it’s a real weird, as I say, I’ve got an image of financial advisors being boring men in grey suits, telling me to stick it in a pension and stick it in base and stick it in there. And then you’ve come along and you’ve kind of blown my mind. Oh, yeah, it’s great to save. But it’s also great to spend on things that you really love.
Katherine Liola [27:46]
Absolutely. And honestly, what are we saving? For? If we’re not actually loving our life now? Like, how do we know how much we need to see, if we look at our life, as it is today, say, Well, I don’t actually really do anything right now that brings me great fulfilment, or joy. We’re saving based on someone else’s expectations of what our future should look like. That is just not what this is all about, or what In my opinion, should be all about, it should be about you, it should be about the individual should be about their family, what’s important to them. And the same is absolutely as important, but the only way to get the saving strategy, right is for the client to be able to lead it with what’s important to them. And to me, financial planning is so much about helping the client really understand what actually is important to them, and then aligning their decisions, which have a financial impact with that. And that’s where the magic starts happening.
David Ralph [28:53]
What’s important to them, and when you sit down with him Did you actually have to forewarn them, what you’re going to ask them, so they walk around for few weeks thinking about what’s important, because it’s been put on this, isn’t it?
Katherine Liola [29:04]
This is not something that happens in one conversation. So the clients who come into our firm are working with us over several years. So this is not where someone comes in, sits down with us for 45 minutes or 60 minutes, and their life is rocked and forever is different. And they don’t need to do anything from that point forward. It is, I hope, in many ways wrapped in a great way. But it’s the beginning of a conversation, it’s really being able to be looking back at their past been able to look forward and to really celebrate where they are in that moment, even if it’s a tough situation. And that just takes time that takes collaboration that takes working with a lot of different professionals over time. You know, it’s it’s making sure that sometimes couples need to work with a therapist, we’re not therapist. So that’s not the work that we do sometimes is that someone needs to work with an executive coach and take a career change or something radical, sometimes is about going on just a big adventure and spending money on things that they’ve never spent money on that are so important to them. Sometimes it’s simple, and just making space to go for a walk, so that they can actually process everything that goes on for them over the course of the week and hear their own voice. So really depends on each client. But it’s over a period of time. It’s not over one or two conversation.
David Ralph [30:28]
So you are really like a kind of therapist, because I know that a lot of my tightness comes from my mom, I know it because when I was growing up literally anything I asked for we didn’t have the money. Now I look back on it. And I can see yes, there wasn’t a lot of money money around. But even when they were doing all right for themselves, there still wasn’t any money, you know. And so I find myself saying the same things. You know, I’ll remember the classic thing that happens when the ice cream vein comes around your house. But if it’s playing music that they’d run out of ice cream, and my family told me that for years, but if there was music playing while all the other kids were running to the van, oh no, they run out. And I always thought it was
Katherine Liola [31:10]
Carrey and ice cream back. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker [31:11]
Katherine Liola [31:14]
And that’s tough. And you know, every single one of us has a funny storey. And it’s important that we understand what that money storey is, so that we can process it and make new decisions. You know, so often we repeat the same types of money storeys. But they’re compounded in different ways, either because we’re running away from them to try and have something totally different, but yet it’s not aligned with us. Or we’re not even realising that we’re living the same life just with maybe a different address and different job. It’s important that we understand our history so that we can actually have the future that we want. And also so that we’re not passing on in language that wasn’t healthy for us. You know, I’m right now co authoring a book for parents to help raise their kids in a Money Smart way. And one of the things that we focus on in the book is understanding what our own money storey is. So that if a kid, for example, has a meltdown in a toy store, like I love that toy, when you really went into the toy store to buy a birthday gift for somebody else, that you don’t make those quick emotional reactions of, we don’t have the money, or this is something that you did earn that just because they’re having a temper tantrum, now, they might not deserve it at that moment for a temper tantrum. But really making sure that expectations are set and recognising to that kids are kids their brains are developing until they’re 25 years old. And when we say thanks to them, it really, really makes a deep impression and how they see things including themselves.
David Ralph [32:55]
Now, did you find this review your own kids coming in for cuddles? Can you already see a sort of an awareness of money? Or are they just too young?
Katherine Liola [33:06]
Oh, absolutely. I think that kids have an awareness of money. As early as I would say two, three at the latest I 100%. See it. And I will also say that even though I’m in the world of finance, that I know, I’m going to be making mistakes from a parenting perspective, in many ways, including my and definitely doing my trying to do my best learning from my mistakes. And that’s another piece of just talking about money. So often when we’re talking about financial planning or fasting, it’s all about this linear line that’s supposed to just be going up. But that’s not how the world works. You know, things happen. People get sick, or people realise are in the rock career. And they need to pivot and go in a direction that perhaps are going to be making less money and now need to adjust lifestyle, credit card debt can happen, wrong, purchases can happen. Relationships split up, a lot of things happen, life is wonderful. But man, it’s complicated at times. And so things happen. And the messaging that so often has happened in the world of financial planning as you need to save this amount for this many years. And everything is going well, that’s that’s maybe the case for a few people, and not many. And so to me, a really important thing to focus on after an individual understands what’s important to them, or at least has a beginning sense of what’s important to them. And what their strengths are, is making sure that they’re building flexibility, and control into their financial path forward. The flexibility so that they can pivot that everything’s not just set for a time when they’re 65, or 60, or 70, that they have some flexibility. So as life happens, they can move with life a little bit better. And that they also have control how they’re setting this up, and that it’s not about someone else’s plan for them.
David Ralph [35:04]
I love this, I love this. And this is why I wanted you on the show. Because it’s all about experiences. It’s all about enjoying life. And I I’m one of these people that get very interested in in movements. And couple of years ago, I was very interested in minimalism. And I thought this is the way forward, this makes perfect sense. And then you get people that are sort of sitting on a garden chair in their house, because I’ve got rid of everything else. And I’ve just got one glass, and I can’t have any one round. It’s just a bit drab. But what you’re saying, excites me because it frees it frees up my thinking about what is possible, because I can choose what is possible and make it happen financially.
Katherine Liola [35:46]
You can, you really can. And that’s something that when we’re looking at anyone who’s coming from whatever financial position, you know, I grew up again, in a family where there was a lot of things that were great. There’s also some challenges. One of those challenges was that we didn’t have a lot of financial resources. Now my parents worked really hard, but there just wasn’t there’s five kids. And it’s to recognise that you can enhance the direction that you come from. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s just money related. You know, when I think about my childhood, the enhancement sure has definitely been seen from a money perspective. But my parents really were doing a lot of things to help us live life at a young age. So when we’re being honest with ourselves about what our money storey is, what our overall storey is, and looking at, okay, what what do I individually need differently that might be different than what our parents needed, and may have been okay for one particular situation or another particular situation. But we do have the ability to change the course so that it’s aligning with us. And that’s something that almost always is going to need a really strong tribe of people or village of people to help support you, but also be to you. And just to follow the direction that everyone tells you to follow in is not necessarily going to give you the results that you’re ultimately wanting and like the core of who we are.
David Ralph [37:21]
So for the listeners out there that we have covered quite a lot in many different areas bear what would be the three things that we need to get mentally because this is a mental thing, isn’t it? This isn’t so much a planning this is breaking down their money storeys, as you say, what would be the three things that you think that they can start working on today that can start easing the way forward?
Katherine Liola [37:47]
Three things and this is something I don’t think comes just off the cuff. This is something that I would break into segments and to constantly revisit, but I would focus on first, what is important to you, and really being honest, a lot of people will say, family is important, friends are important. health is important. Those are all great things. But at the end of the day, like what will you move mountains for? Now, what are things that help you thrive and be your best, like relationships is one of mine that kind of encompasses the various people in my life, but also the relationship that with myself. But another one that I have, that’s one of my top five values is challenge like I need to have challenging in my life, I need uncertain conditions, which means I need to make sure that I’m being intentional about finding them, because that’s how I grow. So recognising what someone’s top values are, I would suggest really focus on about five. So that that can help with decisions that doesn’t make every decision easy. But it certainly helps create a little bit more of a funnel, to focus on what really makes you unique as a person, what makes you just so special. I’m not talking about what your skills are, in terms of being able to do this or do that. What are the things that you are really special, that are very special about you that you can do that come naturally to you. It might be Yes, doing something that has a skill level to it. It might be something that is how you engage with people, and might be how you lead people. It might be how you support people, whatever it is, but really focusing on what really makes you special. And this is important because that plays a big role in what you do professionally. But also the types of activities that you’re engaged with, which all have financial implications. And then the last one would be to really connect with your money storey beginning from the time that you are a child to wear that has taken you today. And what do you want your money storey to look movie forward in the future, but really starting with the path so that you can actually focus and align the future with you?
David Ralph [40:08]
stuff, any simple stuff, isn’t it? Really? Yes. It takes time to finish? Yeah. And do you think some people that come to you I imagine that you would you know, I think if mom and dad come to you, they would sit down and you wouldn’t be what they were expecting? And they wouldn’t go for it at all? Do you? Do you have some people to actually go now she, Catherine? Really not for me goodbye.
Katherine Liola [40:32]
We will work with any age? And yet the answer to your question is yes. And we will work with any age. But we have found that it’s really important to be working with people. In terms of the work that we do, who are open to growth, I don’t mean just financial growth in terms of their performance with their investment assets. I mean that they’re open to growing themselves, because then they can actually hear us if they’re not Oh, into growing and potentially pivoting a little bit in various directions, then they’re not going to be able to hear us and it’s not a good fit. And that’s okay. But it just depends on what stage of their life that they’re in.
David Ralph [41:16]
You are very open minded to all of this stuff. Is this something that was naturally in you? Or is it has it been, as I say, bubbling up under the surface? Because it is kind of it’s it’s on message at the moment, isn’t it?
Katherine Liola [41:31]
You know, I would love to be able to say that it’s always been a bottom centre. But I, I think for honestly, the first 25, maybe even 30 years of my life, that it was more bubbling. And it was all of the wiring from various influences over the course of my life people yes, that I’ve known and also people that I’ve never known just partly in the area that I grew up in and what you sent TV and yes, family, friends of the family and all that stuff that had to worry that you know, all those things combined. I didn’t actually listen to my own voice until probably about 2530 years into my life like it was there. I knew it there. But I also kind of like shoved it lower, lower. So part of it showed itself. But I didn’t really step into that until I was in my late 20s, early 30s.
David Ralph [42:28]
It’s always the case is always there. And we’ve just got to reconnect with ourselves as we do now, because what I want to do is slightly different. Normally, we send you back in time to have a one on one with yourself. And only device up to you but this time, we’re going to send you back have a one on one with your younger version. And if you could give us some financial advice to help bridge that gap so you’re not waiting 30 years to get to when that grappling appear funny became real. What would the advice be? Well, we’re going to play the music and when it fades Europe This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [43:05]
Katherine Liola [43:30]
All right. Hi would say that I would tell my younger self to take a much higher level of risk in myself to act on take action on things that I wanted to do both from a business perspective and from a personal perspective and lean fully and trust myself listen to myself at a much earlier age. and shove away the dope.
David Ralph [44:05]
Show and sweet I wasn’t expecting that Catherine I was expecting you to do a top 10 like Letterman or something but no that’s that’s good enough for us. So for the people listening what is the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Katherine Liola [44:21]
So two things one on our website, www concentric pw.com as well as on LinkedIn if you just look for Catherine Leola, especially every Friday, I share a hashtag financial fitness Friday. And it’s the planning tip through the lens of money, health and mindset.
David Ralph [44:41]
Right stuff on way, we’ll have over links on the show notes, of course. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us today and joining up those dots. And please come back again when you got more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up those financial dots and connecting our past is actually the best way to build our futures. Catherine, thank you so much.
Katherine Liola [45:00]
Thank you, David. It was great being part of the show.
David Ralph [45:04]
So do you buy into that? Do you buy into the fact that it’s actually about experiences and buying things that really make you happy and not just sort of Britain ran away on on new TVs, but if you love a new TV, then go out and get it. I said to her afterwards, I said the annoying thing about you Catherine was but actually I accepted what you were saying I wanted to argue with her. But I got to a point of Oh yeah, I can see that. I can see that. I love spending money on going away and vacations. It’s my travel. It’s my freedom. I love that. Other things aren’t important to me. So why not spend on the things that are important enjoy your life while you’re here. But cut back on things that aren’t wasting it is is the sort of balanced approach to finances. Until next week, thank you so much for being here. Everybody who listens thanks for dropping us a line I’d love to hear your personal storeys where you hear about the show what you’re doing. And any way that we can help then jump across we are doing another business course a very shortly we’re going to be taking quite a few people actually this time through a build your own business, but not a business that becomes a business it becomes a freedom starter, where you have control of your time control of your income. And really you can then build the foundations to a life you want. If that’s important to you then jump across and we will Converse to until next time we will see you again look ourselves and by
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.