Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Mr Kimanzi Constable
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Introducing Kimanzi Constable
Todays guest on the Join Up Dots podcast interview is Mr Kimanzi Constable.
Someone who from the first moment that I heard his story, I just knew that I had to have him on the show.
And boy aren’t I glad that he said yes.
A family man, and a dreamer, for over 12 years Kimanzi followed the path that he felt was right.
The same path that the majority of us have trod over the years.
Working long hours at the expense of seeing his children and family.
How The Dots Joined Up For Kimanzi
Striving to build a business that ultimately didn’t fulfil him.
And banishing the dreams that he had, to be a writer, he struggled on and on.
Finally with a debt of over $100,000, overweight, over-stressed, and deeply unhappy he came to a crossroads in his life.
He knew that he had to change direction and claim a life of his own.
He needed to make his dreams come true, but still support the family that he loved.
How did he do it?
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Kimanzi Constable
During the show we discussed such weighty topics such as:
How dreaming big is easier than living small!
How we don’t realize that life is so short until its too late!
How a double decker bus and a plate of bangers and mash (English Style) is simply heaven!
How a dream move to Hawaii has been realized by consistent focus and action!
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Audio Transcription Of Kimanzi Constable
David Ralph [0:00]
Yeah, yes hello there once more it is me and you are listening. To join up dots Today’s guest is someone who from the first moment that I heard his story. I just knew that I had to have him on the show. And boy on I glad that he said yes, a family man and a dreamer. But over 12 years, he pulled the path that he felt was right, the same path that the majority of us have tried over years, working long hours at the expense of seeing his children family, striving to build a business but ultimately didn’t fulfill him and banishing the dreams that he had to be a writer, he struggled on and on. Finally, with a debt of over 100,000, overweight, overstressed and deeply unhappy. He came to a crossroads in his life. He knew that he had to change direction and claim a life of his own. He needed to make his dreams come true, but still support the family that he loved. How did he do it? Well, you’re about to find out as we start joining up the dots with today’s guest, the amazing Kimanzi Constable. How are you today, sir?
Kimanzi Constable [1:40]
Really good David I’m living the dream. I’m enjoying life. And I’m actually since I know it’s going to talk to you. I’m kind of missing London.
David Ralph [1:49]
Oh, have you been over here before then?
Kimanzi Constable [1:51]
Yeah, I want to speak at a company there in October and I brought my wife was our first international trip. So we did a little and then we took the bus a bus ride to Paris. But yeah, London was amazing.
David Ralph [2:05]
And the bus ride to Paris was horrendous.
Kimanzi Constable [2:08]
It was like nine hours and what it was kind of wild because we’re crossing the border. They searched a bus they found that there was like a stowaway on the bus.
David Ralph [2:19]
And what happened to him.
Kimanzi Constable [2:22]
He got he got held by customs, of course. And then they then they had to thoroughly flush search the bus even more. So it took like three hours.
David Ralph [2:32]
I was about bullying you on this. I went down to Paris on a coach once many years ago to see Phil Collins remember Phil Collins? Yep. And we we sat there for about 12 hours on the coach for about 10 hours. There was some kind of diarrhea system going through everyone. So the little toilet at the back was taken an absolute pounding which wasn’t the best place to be on a on a on a coach. And once we got there, we walked up to the venue and he canceled with a sore throat.
Kimanzi Constable [3:05]
that is horrible. The fair. The one the bus goes on the ferry, though. That’s a pretty cool experience. Yeah, it’s
David Ralph [3:13]
all cool. As long as you don’t have to diarreagh. We’re running around. Yeah. That’s not good.
Kimanzi Constable [3:18]
Yeah. I had to take your word on that one.
David Ralph [3:20]
Yeah, it wasn’t something that I was meaning to bring up in conversation. So if anyone’s having their breakfast or whatever, when they’re listening to this, I do apologize. I really do apologize. So you you’ve had a hell of a life, haven’t you? Because, as I understand it at the moment, you are really living the dream. You are a Hawaii man.
Kimanzi Constable [3:39]
Yeah, as we speak. During this interview, I have I’ve been I was in Hawaii, I was in Maui for three weeks looking for a place for our family. I found one and that was a challenge in and of itself. I’m back here right now in Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where we were living. And in 12. Dave, our entire family’s leaving Wisconsin for good. So we’re kind of we’re living in the living room, we sold all of our stuff.
David Ralph [4:10]
So why Hawaii? Oh, no. That’s a stupid question. Isn’t it Really? I don’t know how I said that. I really have no idea why
Kimanzi Constable [4:21]
a lot. And we went to Hawaii in 2010. My wife and I kind of like a 1010 year old late honeymoon. And we just the moment we got off the plane, we just fell in love from the moment they put delays on us. And then we just breathe the air and tasted the food. We fell in love. And we’re like, yep, this is definitely where we’re going to retire. But then last year, was a couple years ago, we’re like, Why wait till we’re older? And we can’t really enjoy it. Why wouldn’t we have our kids experiences? Why not just go forward? And of course, the doubts and the fears were like, you know, you’re never going to make that happen. Why is too expensive, it’s too far away. You know, all that stuff was going through my head. But just with what I’ve experienced in my life, I’m like, you know, no, we’re going to go forward, we’re going to make this happen. And so it was a couple of years making it happen, but it’s finally happening.
David Ralph [5:15]
Well, I certainly wish you the best of luck out there know that you’re going to need it. Well what a place to live must be must be amazing. Now, if I can take you back command Z, um, because the idea of the show is connecting the dots joining up the dots of your life to see those moments that maybe you didn’t think they would have right moments at the time. They were the challenging times. But when you look back on it, you realize that you grew, you progressed, and you you kind of had to expand because of those difficult situations. Can you remember upon the time of your life that really the idea of Hawaii could not crossed any part of your mind it was it was beyond anything that you could comprehend.
Kimanzi Constable [5:56]
Definitely, as you said, for 12 years, I lived the life I was just existing. I had it was technically it was my business, it was like a franchise situation. But it was only business and name because the main company told us what to do, when to do it, how to do it. And when I was 19, and I was doing this, and I was making $55,000 at 19, it was great. It was as wonderful at 19. You can do any job, you can go out and party and do all that stuff, and you’re fine. But as I got married and had kids and got older, it was getting hard to all the sleep three hours at night and wake up at midnight to go deliver bread. And I never knew enough about the business and about running a business to where I wasn’t in the business. So the business grew to about half a million dollars at its best year. And I had five employees in three different states. But I just was not smart with money. And I didn’t know anything about business. And by the time of four years ago, when this all came crashing on my head, I was $180 dollars in tax debt. My wife and I were separated. I owed everybody you could think oh, I probably owed you money back then. And I just didn’t know Stanford and the and the business was just falling apart. And at that point was when I said you know what, I have a dream of being a writer at the very worst time of my life.
David Ralph [7:21]
But I think you know, that is just typical of the conversations that I’ve been having on a daily basis. When people look back at their darkest times. That seems to be the moment but their dreams were at the biggest because quite obviously you you want anything to get away from the situation that you’re in?
Kimanzi Constable [7:42]
David Ralph [7:44]
Could you have done what you’ve done? If you was content in your life? Do you think do you think you had to go through those terrible times to really change directions direction so radically, like you have?
Kimanzi Constable [8:00]
I think I definitely did. I can’t speak for anybody else. But yeah, for for me if if the bread had gone well, and everything had just gone? Well, yeah, I just would have been happy to have to deliver bread have this bread business for the rest of my life stay here in Wisconsin, and he got a good enough life. I didn’t have any ambition or motivation to chase these these big dreams that I have now. I was just content.
David Ralph [8:28]
Because contentment is the killer of all dreams. Isn’t it Really? Absolutely. When it isn’t bad enough to do something about it, you will float along. And I have floated along the many a year going our wait till Christmas. And when I resigned, oh, no, that’s my Christmas bonus or wait till summer. And then it was always something just coming along to keep me ticking along in the job. Because it just wasn’t bad enough to do anything about.
Kimanzi Constable [8:57]
Yep, and you need that wake up call. So times just really killed shorter reality.
David Ralph [9:03]
So your your ambition, as you say, you got huge ambitions now. But at that time, you had no ambition, it was just a job you was doing in a job that was going extremely well. And if you didn’t have all the business issues and problems around you, you would have stayed in there. So what what was the catalyst for creating the ambitions that you’ve got now because you really are on a path. I’m I’m finding your name crosses my path more often than not when I’m speaking to the motivational and inspirational people that I’m speaking to at the moment. And it seems almost that you’ve come from nowhere.
Kimanzi Constable [9:49]
Yeah, definitely. Well, you know, I was at the point of the lowest point of my life, I told you, and really, the thing that that the catalyst that shook me David was this business that I owned, got bought out by a larger company. And once this larger company came in, I was actually terrified that I wasn’t going to have any business period with some of the things that they were doing. And that shook me like, you know, I’ve had this comfortable existence, I’ve always had a steady paycheck. But now that might be going away, like, Man, you really need to start for me to exit strategy right now. And then on top of that, my father had also died. Unexpectedly he was 54 years old, he died, a people came in, and they just found them laying in bed dead. And between those two things was like the job that I needed to finally just stop making excuses and to do something and make this change.
David Ralph [10:44]
But you must have known what that change was, this is the thing I’m getting to, you say you didn’t have the ambition. But when the joke came, you knew the path you wanted to be on. So was he just sort of simmering under the surface all the time?
Kimanzi Constable [10:58]
Actually, before I got to the path that I’m on, I kind of took a side tour. You know, I thought I want to get out of this this business, what can I do, and I had so many different ideas. And I actually thought my calling was to be an event planner. And I got a chance to put this test right away because my sister was getting married. And she asked me to plan her wedding. And to make a long story short, let’s just say David It was a disaster. Event Planning is not my calling. She’s still married now. She is
David Ralph [11:32]
Kimanzi Constable [11:33]
Yeah, my family did not disown me, although they thought about it. And they did hire professional. So that turned out okay. And I was invited to the wedding. But that experience trying that out event planning and realizing that wasn’t my gift. And then I also try it out. Being a office manager, I thought my job was to manage an office. So I tried that. And then I also tried, I tried a few other things that I thought was my calling. And really, when when I thought about my sat down and meditated and, and thought about things, something kept screaming at me. And it was writing. And during this whole process, I had been keeping a journal of everything that was going on. And writing kept screaming at me like it I can remember as far back being a little kid being seven, eight years old, something like that, and writing love letters to girls. So I was always writing
David Ralph [12:28]
you see young man. You know, as your wife know,
Kimanzi Constable [12:34]
she does know and i because she when she heard me speak in London, I was talking about ex girlfriend who told me she knew I was going to be a writer. And I said how she’s like, because you surround me love letters that were 12 pages front and back.
So the first time she heard this
David Ralph [12:51]
directory, well, pages, what have you got to say?
Kimanzi Constable [12:57]
Right at the back. She said that she write about it, six of them. And that was it.
David Ralph [13:02]
Yeah, I can imagine I can imagine.
Kimanzi Constable [13:06]
David Ralph [13:07]
you’ve got a problem there.
Kimanzi Constable [13:09]
Yeah. You know what, to this day. I’m David that’s my problem is if you get give me writing, I won’t stop. I’ll just keep writing.
David Ralph [13:17]
Have you ever written your wife a 12 page back in front letter.
Kimanzi Constable [13:22]
I have not written a 12 page package on but the book that I’m writing now. It’s it’s a book on marriage. It’s called This is my love letter to you. And in the beginning part of that book is a love letter to my wife a pretty pretty in depth love letter to her.
David Ralph [13:38]
So she hasn’t sent that going. You’ve never written me 12 pages? Of course, she said.
Kimanzi Constable [13:43]
Of course she said that.
Yes. But I took the the first part of the book, and I actually put an expert on Facebook. And so like all our friends are like, Oh, my husband doesn’t do that. And then I got a lot of angry private messages.
David Ralph [14:02]
So the thing that is fascinating with you, and literally with all my guests, is, once I found that one tiny little thing, everything else seems almost to be reasonably easy. It’s like if you sit down with a child who’s four years old, five years old, and say, What do you want to be? They had, they will come back and say I want to be an astronaut, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a professional footballer, really big dreams. But when you ask somebody who’s 16 1718 by don’t know. And all the way through your life, you don’t know you just know what you don’t want to do, because you’ve done it and you haven’t liked it. But the actual big parts, you just can’t really grasp what you want to do with your life. But it doesn’t have to be the big thing because it just writing is such a tiny thing, but can take you anywhere. And that’s the bit that I find fascinating.
Kimanzi Constable [14:59]
Well, and the thing to that I just love about the day and age we live in David is just the technology. And social media and the internet have made it so much easier and more accessible. I was
David Ralph [15:10]
talking to Tom Marcus, on episode one, do you know Tom? Yep. And he was saying but he’s holding on life would not have been possible 1015 years ago, he said there just was not the opportunity. Like we have to have a window to the world, on our desktop, you log on, you’re on Skype, you connect people. And you can really, you could build amazing things, and tremendous momentum, without even leaving your bone not not even leaving your country, you can just do it from not even leaving your home. So the opportunities that we’ve got are beyond anything that people in the past have had. So why do so many people not take that opportunity, when they’ve got the systems, they’ve got the devices right in front of them, and most of us are proficient enough to use them to make the most of them.
Kimanzi Constable [16:07]
I think that it’s a combination of things, doubt and fear, definitely play a big part of that. But I also think too, and I don’t want to use too strong of a word here. But I want to say it’s kind of brainwashing. We’ve been brainwashed to say, Okay, I got to go to school, and I got to get out of school, and I got to go to college, and I got to study this. And then I got to get a college and get the house and get the good job and get the cars and you know, we call it the American Dream here. We’ve kind of been brainwashed that this is what we must do. When in our day and age, the path is is a lot different. And when you see stats that 27% of college graduates get a job in their field, you know, what are the what’s the other percentage doing? And so it’s, it’s kind of like that’s the path that we’ve always taken. So that’s the path we think we need to take. When the reality is is the game has changed. He’s madness,
David Ralph [17:00]
isn’t it? It is total madness. We’ve got all the opportunities in the world. And we’re generally recreating our parents and our grandparents lifestyle, because it’s almost what’s expected of us.
Kimanzi Constable [17:15]
David Ralph [17:16]
There was a chat the other day, who was it? Who was it? gentleman called Dan Adams, and he was on the higher purpose project. And he’s a fascinating chap. And he was saying, statistically, it’s easier to get to the moon and get a job at Taco Bell. Due to the fact the amount of people are trying to get a job at Taco Bell compared to the people going to the moon.
Kimanzi Constable [17:39]
That’s, that’s wild,
David Ralph [17:40]
is mind blowing, isn’t it when you think that you can sit there and you can create the most incredible, amazing, big dreams. And you’ve actually got more of a chance to achieve those because so few other people are going for that same dream.
Kimanzi Constable [18:00]
And the set the crazy thing is, is, you know, we we don’t think about is how short life really is. Like life is pretty short. You know, I remember being a young man 19 starting that business you’re talking about and sitting here now, you know, with a 14 year old son. Time flies really fast. And it’s too short to just exist in life.
David Ralph [18:23]
Which comes nicely to your book. You’ve got a book stopping. I’m just reading one it says actually, what’s it called?
Stop living. Are you living?
Yeah, I’ve got the smallest picture in front of me. I’m sorry. I’m at the age of 43. Now my eyes don’t work like I used to. Yeah. So was that your first step at writing a book?
Kimanzi Constable [18:45]
No, um, during that time, when everything was going on, I had had that collection of notes. And I had run across a story of a woman named Amanda Hocking. She was a 19 year old CNA from Minnesota, she had written 17 novels by time she was 19. And she tried to get them published, but nobody would publish them. And she decided to go the Amazon route and self publishing this is when it really started becoming popular. And in eight months span, she was able to sell a million copies of her self published books. And she got a deal with Random House for 2.5 million. And I’m reading her story in USA Today. And I thought, Man, if Amanda can do it, why can I at least I can I try? I don’t need to sell a million copies, why can I just sell 10,000 and that would definitely be enough to leave this this business that I was just hating. And so I did everything that Amanda did, I got the publisher or the editor and the format or and I self published his book, it was called Tales of the everyday working man and woman. And I thought this book was going to just fly. I thought people are going to buy this thing and Amazon crazy, because I’m speaking to the working man and woman out there. And you know, I’m their voice. And the book on today the book came out I thought it would sell 100 copies. Because friends and family and so many people had said they’re going to buy it. Now when I logged on Amazon and you know my story David so you know what I saw? Yep. AUDIENCE MEMBER Can you guess what I saw? I was it.
So that first day I sold zero and then I ended up going on to sell five copies in the first six months. Six months. Did you ever
David Ralph [20:29]
bought those five copies?
Kimanzi Constable [20:32]
Yeah, three of them were friends. And two of them were two strangers.
David Ralph [20:36]
So even all your lovestruck ex girlfriends with their with their 20 sheet love letters didn’t come on. And by not even my mom bought it. You say he shouldn’t have wasted your time command Z.
Kimanzi Constable [20:52]
Yeah. And so it was at that point David wireless ready to give up. And that was like the maker to break your point. And right when I was just depressed and quit, I’d touch my computer for two weeks, I got an email from a guy, a 19 year old guy was reading my blog. And he’s like, hey, I’ve been reading your blog, you’ve inspired me, I’m going in tomorrow to quit my job. And I’m reading this on my phone and like I like almost fell over trying to type to him, Hey, man, don’t quit your job. You know, I didn’t want this guy to quit his job. And so I said, Let’s get on the phone. And I talked, I got on the phone and it was a little awkward. And I told him I’m not a life coach or anything like that. And I don’t really know what I’m doing. But I want to help you any way that I can. So he kind of sat there and planned it out what he wanted to do. And in one month of us talking and planning and having these hardcore strategy sessions, he was able to land his dream job. And he called me on the phone and he was crying, his wife was crying and, and right then and there was when I really realized what my dream was. And it was necessarily to be a writer, or speaker or coach or anything like that. My dream was to help. Those that felt stuck felt like they had no other option. Maybe they didn’t like there’s somebody like myself who didn’t have a college degree or any special training, and they wanted to do something, but they just didn’t know what they could do. And I made a vow that day that that’s who I was going to help. And you know, that’s kind of evolved now to help in a family man. Because I know how hard it is for the family man to want to chase a dream, but have the responsibilities of doing it with the family. And so that that’s really what my dream is, is just to help those that feel stuck. And from that point on David that’s when I really became a writer. And I started writing from my heart and writing about some of the things that other people wouldn’t talk about. I started writing about that bankruptcy that I had to file for that time, my wife and I separated or, or some of the things that I had to do just to survive it once I put that out there. And I put my heart out there. That’s what people started to respond. That’s when people started saying, you know, I can’t believe you’re writing about this. And this is just so personal. But it’s really helped me in this way. And people started connecting with the message. A few of them bought the book, they shared it with their friends, you know, the power of social media, and I self published a second book. And over a three year span both of those two self published books, ended up going on to sell 80,000 copies. And at that point was when I started getting offers my offers from publishers. And I’m like, you know, I got that first offer David and I thought somebody was punky me I’m like, you know, what is this this is a real and and I did sign it off for what the dimension publisher called sound was the books. And in March of last year, my first traditionally published book hit the bookstores hit Barnes and Nobles. And I was able to walk in there with my 87 year old grandfather, and show him a book that his grandson had written was right there on the shelf.
David Ralph [23:58]
That that is that is inspiring. It is that is a brilliant story. From those five, to the 80,000. How How long was a sort of path between the 233
Kimanzi Constable [24:10]
David Ralph [24:12]
And what made you after those five, not go outside this, I can’t be bothered is not gonna work. I’m no good at this. I thought I could do it. But it’s never going to work and have all those doubts and fears that every single one of us has going around us all the time. What made you sort of go back to the drawing board and go like, okay, I only sold five. It’s not the book, it must be something that I’m doing to get the book out, man, what what made you change your mind on it?
Kimanzi Constable [24:41]
Well, it was definitely, it was definitely that young man really gave me a wake up call that about my really that I taking the focus off of myself. This isn’t about me. And this isn’t about the books. This is about helping people and coming from a place of service. So at at that point, I I didn’t even look at the numbers on Amazon anymore. I just focused on on helping people being there serving them any way I could. And then it was a matter of strategy. And I had a website that had no traffic. Well, how do you get traffic to a website that had no traffic? There’s a lot of ways to do it. But for me as a writer, the best way that I could do it was through guest posting on other larger sites. So in 2012, I was able to land guest post on some of the biggest sites in my industry, personal development guys like Michael Hyatt, and Jeff Goins and Dan Miller and Jon Acuff, all these big New York Times bestselling authors, I was able to land guest posts on their sites. And like that day that I landed a post on on Michael Hyatt site, he has about half a million people that visit his website, a month, that day that I landed, a post had 20,000 visitors just that first day, and the traffic is coming in ever since. So I went from having a website and blog that was only getting about 10 people a day to this, you know, getting over 5000 people on my email list within a very short period of time. And so that year, I sent out 30 guest posts, that was probably everywhere you could think of, and I started building my traffic. And then once people came to my site, I knew that I couldn’t just shove my book down their throat anymore, I knew that’s not the best way to market, I knew that people had to connect with the story and the message. And so that’s, that’s what I focused on. So that and then the combination of people sharing it on social media, is what really prompted the books to start selling.
David Ralph [26:38]
Because you are quite obviously a human, but you are really human on you, you know that it’s, you know, when when when you read your blog, and when you read your stories. And that was the thing that resonated with me, I heard you on another podcast. And quite a lot of time we podcasts, although I’m doing one now. And I really want people to sort of focus in on the content. I’m sure a lot of people are going to be walking the dog in the bath and sort of vaguely listening to it. But when I heard your one, I actually put my pen down, sat back and I listened. And it wasn’t so much what you were saying it was how you were saying it. And there was no airs and graces. And you almost seemed apologetic that you were achieving a certain amount of success, which I found kind of endearing but slightly strange at that time.
Kimanzi Constable [27:35]
Yeah, it’s you know what, when you get to this point, or you get to the point where you accomplish those those big goals and dreams that you had, it’s a little bit surreal. It’s surreal that I could sit here at nine in the morning, talking to you on this interview and knowing that if I don’t want to I don’t have to do anything else the rest of the day. And I’m still going to generate income for my family. It’s just It’s surreal to me sometimes that the pinch myself.
David Ralph [28:01]
What What is the biggest? What can we say? fantasy moment in your life? And you’re saying that you’re sitting there, and you’re actually making money when you could be in your pajamas, lying on the sofa? Doing nothing? But what is the moment when you go, Oh, my God, this is truly unbelievable what I’m achieving at the moment.
Kimanzi Constable [28:23]
It’s it’s definitely every time I get to go and I get to speak somewhere. And in the last couple of years, I’ve got I’ve put on 300,000 friggin flyer miles, speaking at conferences, speaking in places like London, Paris, Kenya, Sydney, Australia, Jerusalem, Israel, I mean speaking all over the world, Japan, speaking in all these countries, and so when I go up, especially in another country, when you’re there and people are like, you know, here’s the American coming to speak. And really just being able to like, you know, take my wife to the London I, or going to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, like those moments like like people are actually paying me to come here and speak to them and I get to see the this just this all this amazing this. I get to go and have a croissant in Paris. I get to go into a pub in London and have bangers and mash. It’s just those are surreal moments to me.
David Ralph [29:19]
What What did you think of the London I honestly,
Kimanzi Constable [29:24]
I thought it was crowded. But I thought it was pretty cool. It’s very cool.
I found it Good going up for boring coming down. Because once you get to the highest point, you’ve seen everything you want to see. And then you just see the things getting bigger as they come back down to you.
I just think that entire area on the teams there is amazing to see, you know when you’re up there and to see it all and even see, to see the what I want to say it’s the headquarters of my six you see it and all the James Bond movie and then you see it there in your person like bouncing the wall. We see that in the movie,
David Ralph [29:57]
Bana Did you feel like James Bond that night?
Kimanzi Constable [30:02]
David Ralph [30:04]
Ask Englishman are basically like James Bond? Or you know, not really, I think, I think most Americans from my experience seem to think that we’re either like James Bond or Hugh Grant. That seems to be the two English people that people from America and the world focusing on.
Kimanzi Constable [30:26]
I definitely thought people in London were extremely friendly. I’m not gonna say anything negative. But your neighbors over there in Paris. I didn’t think they were as friendly. Go on. Yeah. Yeah. But I thought people in London were extremely friendly. And it’s an amazing city. I love I love the bus system. I love the double decker buses. I love how easy it is to get around in the city. I just love that.
David Ralph [30:55]
So the talking from somebody who had created her own business, move through to writing, everything has been quite self contained. You’re suddenly now being asked to stand up in front of people. Was that terrifying? Or was that just a natural? Let me out. I’m ready to do this. This is what I want to do.
Kimanzi Constable [31:19]
No, absolutely not. It was extremely terrifying. When I, the book started selling and I started getting like a lot of exposure online. I got an email from a conference in West Virginia. And they’re like, hey, we’ve seen what you’re doing with social media. Can you come speak at our conference? Tell us what you’re doing? And my immediate answer apply right away was no, I’m not a speaker. I won’t be coming. And then my wife saw this. And she’s like, what? And I’m like, yeah, I’m not going to speak. And she’s like, yeah, guess what you are? And I’m like, well, since I didn’t write it, the love letters and all this. I might as well go right. So. So the cool thing was, was being on the plane and people are like, Hey, what are you going to Virginia form like, I’m a speaker, I’m going to speak at a conference. They’re like, Wow, that’s so cool. But
David Ralph [32:05]
was the first
Kimanzi Constable [32:06]
night it was first class
David Ralph [32:09]
was was that not the first time that you’ve been on first class?
Kimanzi Constable [32:13]
It was the first time I’ve been on first class, although that was the flight from Milwaukee where I live to Charlotte. But from Charlotte to West Virginia was on this like little plane that had propellers. And that was like, definitely terrifying. So
David Ralph [32:30]
all the time.
Kimanzi Constable [32:32]
Yeah, well in the airport there and West Virginia is actually where they’ve had a few crashes because the runway is like on a hill. So if the pilot misses it, we’re going to be going right down the hill. So that was kind of terrifying. But the first time that I went up to speak David I walked up on that stage, I saw that crowd looking at me, I walked right back down, and I’m like, there’s no way I could do this. I was terrified. And it was another speaker was like, Hey, I was like having a panic attack. Speakers like, Hey, man, guess what? I’m like, what he’s like, they’re here to see you. You’re the expert. They’re here to see you. Go out there and have fun. That’s all you got to do is go out there and have fun. And like that advice has really stuck with me till today. So now when I’m speaking, always bring a bag of candy and I’m throwing out candy for the audience. And even though we’re adults, we still love candy. So now lighten up the mood, I’ll give away a couple books. And and now it’s a blast. But back then it was absolutely terrifying.
David Ralph [33:30]
He’s He’s interesting how one thing leads to another. Because I’ve actually gone the opposite route. For the last 2030 years, I’ve been used to standing up in front of crowds. And I remember the very first time I had to do a presentation, I was 17 years old. And my manager said older be about 50 people there. And honestly, something fell over inside me and I thought I can’t do this. This, this is beyond me. I don’t want to do this. And he said, Now there’s only going to be 50 people there. And he gave me a bit advice. To this day, I still use. And he said they don’t know what you’re going to say. So they don’t know if you’ve messed up or not. And I found it absolutely liberating. But it didn’t have to be Word Perfect. You only have to get your message over. So when I did go into that I open the curtains went outside, there was about 250 people out there. And he did the right thing. He lied to me to get me to that point, because I don’t think I would have pushed myself that far. So now I’m in this situation now behind the mic. First time I did it, well, it still hold my hand is still quite terrifying. So you know I’m I’m communicating with you trying to think of the right questions to ask all those kind of things. Because it’s a different skill set to what I’ve had before. And every skill set builds on the one before. But you don’t know if you’re going to be here natural until you actually try it. Did you think you will totally become a natural speaking, when it will overtake your life? And that will be your thing?
Kimanzi Constable [35:05]
Definitely not. I never thought that but that. Like you said when I got up there. And I spoke, and it was like a rush of adrenaline. I told myself have fun. And I had fun. And from that moment on, I’m like, man, I want to do this more.
David Ralph [35:22]
Where would you like it to take you running training courses have sort of like personalized coaching, where where would you like that kind of, because it is it’s one to one interaction. And even if it’s a crowd, it’s still one to one because each person is the person that’s listening to you, isn’t it?
Kimanzi Constable [35:40]
I definitely love to travel. And so I would love to continue that. And but in 2012, I spoke at 38 conferences, I was gone like every other week, and that was too much. In 2013, I spoke to 12 conferences, but they were all in different places all over the world. So I love that think what I would like to happen on that the natural progression is I love to have my own conference. That’s ever since I started speaking, that’s been my dream to have my own conference in Maui. To have a conference out there at people flower. You’re going to come out there David when I put the conference out. You’re coming out there you can stay with my special drugs
David Ralph [36:19]
Kimanzi Constable [36:21]
Yeah, that’s that’s my dream is to have my own conference to are you living or existing conference?
David Ralph [36:26]
Well, a dream is achievable for you, isn’t it? Because you you’ve achieved everything you can do. So why is that a dream? Why is that not a plan, then?
Kimanzi Constable [36:37]
You’re right. It definitely will be a plan when we get settled in and I look on the books and I’m and and it’s funny because another person actually asked me, I was thinking about man, maybe you should do a conference there. And I like to help you. And I’m like, wow, that’s interesting. So yeah, it’s definitely going to be something that’s going to happen. So you’re going to hear about it first.
David Ralph [36:55]
I will definitely be there. I promise. If I get an invite, I will be there. Because I’ve actually the only two states in America that I haven’t traveled through is Hawaii and Alaska. I’ve done. I’ve done every single level one.
Kimanzi Constable [37:09]
You’ve done more than me.
David Ralph [37:10]
Yeah. So some, some of them are amazing. Some of them I can take or leave. But um, yeah, I’m quite proud to say that I’ve done that over the last 20 years, I’ve done a lot of traveling, staying in really dodgy hotels in America. But it’s fun. Always great fun. It is great fun. And fortunately for me, my kids now are getting to the age that they they love a road trip. And so probably next year, we’re planning to sort of go over there and drive wherever and that’s the beauty of America. I always being that. Wherever is still good. You don’t really have to plan a route. You just have to go and stumble across places.
Kimanzi Constable [37:48]
Yeah, we have an amazing highway system here in the United States. Yeah, you can just call from state to state very easily.
David Ralph [37:55]
Do you ever have that urge? Because over here, if we commit a crime, then we’re we’re kind of just guilty. We just get cold. But over there like smoking the bandit. Do you ever feel like you’re sort of running for the border? Do you ever have that urge?
Kimanzi Constable [38:10]
Uh, yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, you I guess technically, if you have one problem, one state just move right over to another state.
David Ralph [38:18]
Yeah. What about if you stood want in the state line and just jumped at the last minute across?
Kimanzi Constable [38:25]
Um, could the police cross? I don’t, I don’t actually think that they could, I’m sure they would work together and have somebody on the other side. But technically now they by jurisdiction they can.
David Ralph [38:36]
That’s great. That’s what I would do is stand right in the line. Wait to the very last minute. it like when a Lyft is dropping? At the very last minute, I would just jump? And then I’ll be free.
Kimanzi Constable [38:47]
Yeah, well, unless the cop one not to like throw a nightstick at you or something like that?
David Ralph [38:52]
And then I would have them to assault? That’s what I would do.
Kimanzi Constable [38:55]
Yeah. And you could sue them here and get get a big settlement, I would bring
David Ralph [38:59]
down. So command Z. Obviously, you’ve got the new book coming out about marriage? Well, when it when is that being released?
Kimanzi Constable [39:09]
I’m putting the finishing touches on it and getting ready to send it to my publisher. So I will keep you up to date on
David Ralph [39:16]
and be the conference in Hawaii. When are we setting a date for that? When’s that going to be in your mind?
Kimanzi Constable [39:25]
That will be before the end of this year? For sure.
David Ralph [39:29]
Oh, so it’s, it’s a given then it’s going to happen? you read it?
Kimanzi Constable [39:33]
It’s, it’s a given. It’s gonna happen. I’ve had some you know, we’re joking. But I’ve had some serious conversation with definite people that make connections with on the island, one of them even owns a radio show there. And so yeah, that’s definitely going to happen.
David Ralph [39:48]
But the W last part of the show, what I want to do is put you on the mic. And this is a part of the show called the Sermon on the mic, where we play a bit of music to build the mood. And when I say step away, and let the presenting duties fall perfectly in your lap, and you speak to your younger self, and you speak to the audience, and you tell them about generally what you feel about the life is out there for them. If I only take action, are you up to the challenge on that?
Kimanzi Constable [40:18]
Always, I’m always ready. Why
David Ralph [40:20]
was that when the music stops, and you can sing along why it’s playing. He’s over to you Kimanzi
Unknown Speaker [40:36]
with the best the show.
Kimanzi Constable [40:53]
So if you haven’t heard anything up to this point, listen to this. Life is short. And it’s kind of become a cliche, but it’s the truth life, life is short. And pine is the one resource we can’t get back. We won’t get back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Each day that you wake up is a gift. It’s a beautiful gift. And you have to treat it that way. We have so many dreams and hopes and wishes. And we look at them. And we’re like I want to be this and I want to be that. And we look at the big picture. And and that big picture is frightening. It almost seems impossible. But instead of looking at that big picture of what you want to do with your life and the changes you want to make, break it down to day by day, what do I need to wake up? And what do I need to do today to make this thing happen? I’m not going to look at two years from now, I’m going to look at just today. So I’m going to get up. And this is what I have to do today to make this thing happen. And that’s what I’m going to do. When you wake up and you have a bad day, things don’t go as planned, everything seems to be going wrong, go to bed, wake up, and it’s a new day, it’s a new fresh start. You can you can do it all over again, you could do it even better, and take it one day at a time. And that’s all you got to focus on is one day at a time. And when you look up, you’re going to realize you’re there, you’re almost there. And it’s not going to seem impossible anymore. But the thing is, you have to start today, we’re not guaranteed it tomorrow, nobody is nobody’s guaranteed anytime in life. So you have to start today, life is far too short. Whatever it is you want to do. It’s not impossible. I was a bread guy delivering bread on a bread truck. And I want to be an author. And now I’m an author, speaker and a coach and I’m living my dream life. If I can do it, I know you can do it to realize that it’s not going be easy. I’m not sitting here telling you it’s going to be easy. It’s going to be probably the hardest thing you’ve done in your life. I’m not telling you that there’s not going to be failures, you’re going to fail. Here’s the thing, everybody fails, we all fail. The thing that makes people successful is that when they fail, they decide they’re going to get back up and they’re going to push for it anyways. So you have to decide now when you fail, are you going to let that failure make you or break you. But I want you to determine that it’s not going to break you you’re going to get back up, we’re going to keep going and it’s going to take some time, it’s probably going to take more time, the things that’s fine. This is a marathon, it’s not a race. But if you’re determined to get back up every time you fall, you’re determined to work hard to hustle hard. And you’re determined that you’re going to stick this out for the long haul. You can achieve everything you want to achieve in life. It’s totally possible. But it all starts with taking that first step. Wherever you are right now, take that first step, put your toe in the water, the water’s warm, just take that first step and then keep moving forward. Don’t look back and when you look up, you’re going to be living an incredible life. You’re going to be happier than you ever been. And you’re going to want to pay it forward and help those that are in the same situation as you so start today.
David Ralph [44:16]
powerful words powerful words, Kimanzi. I really would like to thank you for taking the time to be with us today. Sitting in your in your Hawaii mansion, with the sun beating down on you. I know you’ve gone to Milwaukee now Haven’t you you’ve moved back there.
Kimanzi Constable [44:31]
Yeah, 12 days,
David Ralph [44:32]
12 days and then you’ll be living the dream. So I wish you the best with your move and for your family. Obviously we wish you the best with the new book and the conference and everything that’s going on in your life. If you do ever end up in the United Kingdom, hopefully we can meet up and I will share a plate of bangers and mash with you. And really anything that’s in your life. Give us a shout and come back on the show and tell us what’s happening because there is so much movement in our lives. We will continue to join up dots forever and join up dots is the only way to build our future commands he comes to ball. Thank you very much