Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Lisa Marie Cabrelli
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Introducing Lisa Marie Cabrelli
Todays guest, joining us on the Join Up Dots free podcast interview, quite brazenly states “I have a super-power. I can teach anyone to make money from anywhere at anytime. But – I choose to use my superpowers for good and not evil… to teach first that money is truly not what’s it’s all about.”
Lisa Marie Cabrelli helps people design a life of their choosing, by developing income streams to bring in the kind of wealth that they need to do this.
Since stepping away from the corporate world, along with her trusty laptop she has inspired many to do just that, and kick the restraints and grab hold of their dream lives.
However, these are not get rich quick schemes, as she says ” I teach people to create the resources they need to live the life that they choose with the understanding that building dreams takes time and commitment. Your dreams may not come true tomorrow but they will come true.”
How The Dots Joined Up For Lisa Marie
Not only that, as a founder of “Galahads” a movement to inspire women to take greater control of their lives, careers and prospects, without us men getting involved, she is building a strong network across the globe too.
Really helping ladies again, to create their own reality.
So what made Lisa Marie Cabrelli step away from her career with A&T, when so many people would have considered this a job for life?
And why does she feel a need for a society to help women so passionately?
And does she really take her laptop with her everywhere….and I mean everywhere!
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs in todays Free podcast, with the one and only laptoplisa…….Lisa Marie Cabrelli
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Lisa Marie such as:
How she ended up sitting in the worlds most noisy library….and in fact could take her business anywhere in the world!
How you don’t have to have a 9-5 job anymore, you can choose what you want from life….and most importantly you must choose!
How you must conquer the fear inside and the resistance that stops us all in our tracks if we let it!
How Oprah Winfrey saved her life….and yes you must listen to the show to hear this inspiring tale!
How she saw so many women in American corporate life turn on each other instead of supporting each other, and knew that she had to solve the problem!
What she believes she is a “Dream Maker” or a “Life Designer”
How To Connect With Lisa Marie Cabrelli
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transpiration Of Lisa Marie Cabrelli Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Good morning to you. Well, how are we? Oh, how are we Oh, I always say that I should think of something better to say, but it kind of feels apps every morning. So I hope you are good. Um, I’ve got a guest today, who is if you hear a lot of background noise, it’s just that she’s in an Italian library. She’s like, like Indiana Jones from the Last Crusade, if you remember that film, and she is somebody who really can set up home wherever she is on the globe. And it’s a big inspiration to me, anyone who has created their lives to be able to do that. She’s a guest, quite brazenly states, I have a superpower, I can teach anyone to make money from anywhere at any time. But I choose to use my superpowers for good and not evil to teach first, but money is truly not what it’s all about going to dig into that a bit. She helps people design a life of their choosing by developing income streams to bring in the kind of wealth that I need to do this. And since stepping away from the corporate world along with our trusty laptop, she has inspired many to do just that and kick the restraints and grab hold of their dream lives. However, these are not get rich quick schemes. As she says I teach people to create the resources they need to live the life that they choose. with the understanding that building dreams takes time and commitment. Your dreams may not come true tomorrow. But they will come true. Not only that, as a founder of gather heads, a movement to inspire women to take greater control of their lives, careers and prospects. Without us men getting involved. She’s building a strong network across the globe to and is really helping ladies came to create their own reality. So what made you step away from a career with a nT? And when so many people would have considered this a job for life? And why does she feel a need for society to help women so passionately? And does she really take a laptop with her everywhere? And I mean, everywhere? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start Join Up Dots, the one and only laptop Lisa, Lisa-Marie Cabrelli, how are you Lisa Marie.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [2:25]
I’m doing great. David, thank you so much for having me. I was saying before I’ve listened to I listened to a lot of your podcasts. And I always love your introduction. So I was really looking forward to hearing mine.
David Ralph [2:36]
Was that about what was that about? right for you?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [2:39]
That was brilliant. Perfect.
David Ralph [2:40]
So you are in an Italian library at the moment, you know, and the only Italian library as I was saying in the introduction that i think i’ve ever seen was the one in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? I don’t know if you remember that film, when he found like a hidden tunnel in Venice, and he went on an adventure. Are there any hidden tunnels? As far as you can see? Is it anything that does smash into the floor and go elsewhere? Yeah, I’m not sure that this library is that exotic. I’m actually in a very small town, in Italy, in, in the mountains, in northern Italy. So it’s a very small town. It’s my husband’s family’s house that they’ve had for generations. And so they still have it. So we spend our summers here. It’s a beautiful place. It is absolutely astonishing. Every single day, I had these conversations with people. And I’ve had conversations with people from an island, Rhode Island, or I’ve had where you in an Italian library. And with Wi Fi and the sort of connexion that we’ve now got, you can really set up life and your job wherever you want it. You know, I tell you something, they said, I haven’t told anyone here but I’m sitting doing this. I’ve got no socks on. I’ve got no shirt on, and I’m just wearing a pair of shorts. Now you couldn’t do that in a nine to five good. You
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [3:55]
know, you absolutely could not. Yeah, it did. It allows you so much flexibility and freedom in incredible. And it’s something that anyone can do. It’s not just available to an exclusive few. It’s something that anyone has the capability of, of setting up and enabling for themselves. It’s fabulous.
David Ralph [4:13]
Once you think people don’t know, Ben, because I came across this topic when I was reading the Tim Ferriss the four hour workweek. And it was a book that inspired me and I’d say this quite often. PAGE 44 page 44 I got to that, and I thought my life will never be the same again. And it suddenly struck me Why the hell am I going to an office every single day when I can bring the office to me? And why do I have to work from nine to five, when I might want to work at three o’clock in the morning or whatever? What it just seems lunacy to me? So was this always something in your mind? Or did you have like I did as a book or a film or a conversation that really tipped you over and made you become laptop? Lisa?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [4:56]
Well, actually, I think that, to answer your first question, the reason why, you know, everyone doesn’t do it is because there’s a lot of fear involved in this kind of lifestyle, right? It’s not the very comforting knowledge that every week, you’re going to get a paycheck. And, you know, there’s somebody looking after you and somebody’s telling you exactly what to do. So if people aren’t comfortable with choices, and uncomfortable with change, it’s quite a stressful lifestyle for those type of people. But this kind of lifestyle doesn’t necessarily mean travel, like to your point, right. So you don’t have to quit your job and travel the world. It doesn’t have to be about travel, really what it is about is freedom and choices. So like you were saying, You You know, you don’t have to have a nine to five job with somebody telling you what to do. You can have a job where especially for for Mother’s right you can stay home with your children, and you can have the freedom of being at home, and not the freedom of travelling the world. It’s completely up to you. It’s just we have to remember that it’s about freedom primarily and choices. And to go back to what the inspiration for me was I always tell the storey about the the first date that I had with the man who’s now my husband. And we were actually sitting at a bar and we were having an aperitif. And I pushed a napkin and a pen across the table to him. And I said, if you had a million dollars, what would you do? And he made his list and I made my list. And they were very similar, you know, travel, spending time with your family giving to charity. And as I sat there at the table, and I looked at the list, and we were both in in horrible, difficult corporate jobs at the time, and I looked at the list, I thought to myself, you know, I don’t have to wait until I have a million dollars to do these things I can simply choose is to do these things now. And I think that’s what it comes down to is just making choices.
David Ralph [7:06]
But that’s brave, isn’t it to have that realisation? Because so many people will go I’ll wait till next year, or I’ll wait till I get that promotion or wait until I’ve got this or that or whatever. So what were you always ballsy? Or was that just an epiphany that suddenly hit you?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [7:23]
I love that word ballsy. Because that’s exactly the word that my husband always used to describe me as a ballsy chick. But yeah, I think I probably always was comfortable with change. My my parents moved us from England to the states when I was 12. And we moved from a teeny tiny little country town in England with about 2000 people to New Jersey, you know, which is a huge upheaval and a big change. And I think it kind of taught me that, you know, change isn’t as scary as everyone makes it out to be and as long as you plan it correctly and prepare for it correctly. changes what makes what makes a life
David Ralph [8:04]
was New Jersey, obviously, you know, going from where where were you in England, where was this little town?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [8:10]
I was in stone Bry which is not such a little town anymore. It’s just outside of Bristol. But when I lived there in the 70s it was, you know, early 80s it was a little market town in the West Country.
David Ralph [8:22]
So you haven’t got a Bristol accent because for all our listeners, if you don’t know the Bristol accent, think of a kind of cross between a farmer and a pilot. And you’re getting close.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [8:32]
That’s great. No, I don’t have a Bristol accent because I actually was born in London and my parents are Cockneys. So I have sort of an amalgamated accent of London, Bristol, New Jersey, Scottish, which is my husband. So I really I just have no accent at all. To
David Ralph [8:49]
do people kind of try to guess where you come from? Do they sort of think you’re Australian or something in different countries?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [8:55]
Yeah, in the States, I always get Australian. I think it’s because it’s a mix of English and a American, which sounds very Australian.
David Ralph [9:02]
Because I was in Atlanta once and this woman came up to me and I’ve told this storey before and it still strikes me as slightly weird. And she was a panhandler. And she came up to me, she said, you know, if I can tell you where you come from, give me $5 and I went going in is going to be quite obvious. I come from the United Kingdom. And she went, you come from Sweden. And I thought, why would you choose Sweden out of all the places you choose? You know, tree, but now she still got a $5. But yeah, I’ve often thought it did i think i sound Swedish. Do I do a? Swedish?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [9:35]
I don’t think so. I actually had a I went to school for acting, actually, that was my undergraduate degree. And I had a voice teacher who was able to name exactly where your accent was from. And she was incredible, because she said to me, You were born in London, but you spent time in the West Country, and you also have
Central New Jersey like that immediately. So there is a way to do it.
David Ralph [10:00]
She’s been on LinkedIn, you know,
Unknown Speaker [10:03]
probably wasn’t on LinkedIn at the time. So
David Ralph [10:07]
I don’t I don’t believe anything. When that happens. It’s like when you get these clever wins, and they tell you about your name worked in a sewing machine factory in Bristol? Yeah, I never believe that. I’m so many people out there do believe these things. But I always think Hang on, there must be an angle. How did she do that? Yeah, I you are kind of open minded person to those kind of things. Are you like me pretty closed off in certain ways?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [10:33]
Um, I would say I’m pretty open minded, because I like to believe that there’s lots and lots of things in this world that we don’t understand. If I didn’t believe that, I don’t think that I would be so eager to make choices and make changes. So I think Yeah, I’m pretty open minded. I mean, I, I can get a little bit whoo, whoo. Probably.
David Ralph [10:57]
That’s a brilliant answer. And I think that comes from true to the core of you, Lisa Marie, why you are willing to take all these chances is it do do people need to be open minded, because I understand now from doing this job, but when people start becoming successful or finding their path, or going for something in their life, it’s generally when they become more aware, and I start looking around at what other people are doing. And is that what to you open minded is about or is it just a kind of spirituality is just the way that you actually function as a person.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [11:32]
I think open mindedness would be about internal and external awareness. And that’s a huge part of what I teach to my clients. I mean, you said in the introduction, that piece about how I teach that money is truly not what it’s all about. And the first thing that I always do with my clients is talk to them about their life, because I’m a certified life coach, as well. So we talk first and foremost about what they know about themselves, and what they know about the world, which helps them get grounded in a place where they can make those choices, we call I call it becoming a choice agent. It’s really like one of the most important steps in following the freedom formula, which is, which is what I teach is if you if you don’t have that internal awareness, and that external awareness, you’re not in the place where you can be comfortable making big choices. So yeah, I think it’s very, very important.
David Ralph [12:32]
So probably our listeners out there, avidly focusing in on every word you say, and all the other episodes, how do they make these choices? Is there a kind of first thing that they’ve got to focus in on to be able to start setting their life up like you have, or all the other guests?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [12:51]
I think that the first step in making choices is becoming aware that there are choices available you and that the choices are 100%. In your hands, I think that what happens to a lot of people is they follow the path that has been laid out for them. And you were talking to me about it earlier, actually, David, you were saying there’s a there’s a group of people who do what they think they’re supposed to do, right, they go to university, they get a job, they get married, they buy a house, they buy a car, because these are the things that we’ve been taught to want. And I think because we’re so focused on following that path of what we define as success, we forget that we can choose to do things differently. So one of the first things I do with my clients is I have them do what I call a choice audit. And basically, you it’s quite difficult to do because it requires you to put a huge amount of attention on yourself for a large period of time, you carry a little notebook around with you, and throughout the day you marked down where you could have made a choice. So it’s from Little choices, as simple as you know, I can get up at seven and go to the gym, or I can get up at eight and sleep in because I need the rest, which are both valid choices. Two huge choices. As in, you know, I have this opportunity to move from my for my job. And I never noticed that this was a choice or an opportunity before but now that I’m actually paying attention, and I’m waiting, the availability of choices. I’m becoming aware how different my life could be, because I always say, you know, choices are the things that create change. And it’s changed, that creates opportunity, you can’t have opportunity without change. So you are 100% responsible for creating the opportunities that will lead to an extraordinary life. Because you’re the only one who can make the choices that will lead to change. If that makes sense.
David Ralph [15:05]
It makes total sense. And I think that is brilliant. I really do. Because we’ve our lives were so busy. And we were so whizzing here whizzing bear, dealing with emails, picking up the phone, all those kind of thing. And what you’re actually getting them to do is consciously reflect and without that, everything’s a blur. And you can’t actually see those choices. And I’m sure that the more successful people in world have structured their life, but give them time to be able to reflect and look and plan where they’re going. where the majority of us I certainly I’m still not quite there, I’m much better than I was. But I’m still in the place where everything sort of happens. And I kind of juggle this juggle that. And I don’t spend an awful lot of time reflecting until I have these conversations. And when people are talking like yourself incredibly passionately, when I do sit there listening to you thinking, yeah, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. So I think that’s a Brit. I think that’s brilliant. I really do. And do welcome back like three days later and say, Oh, I didn’t have time? Or do they say, Oh yes, I’ve done it every minute of the day.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [16:08]
You know, I always say I know immediately who my customers are. And I know immediately who my customers are, because my customers are the ones that come back and say I’ve done this, and this has changed me. And the people who aren’t my customers are the people who come back and say, Oh, I didn’t have time, this wasn’t you know, this didn’t, this didn’t happen. And the reason they’re not my customers is because I know that they will never do the things that are required to do that are required for you to do to get to that extraordinary life. And sometimes it’s simply laziness. But most of the time, it’s that they cannot get beyond the fear. And I can work with people and try to help them step past the fear. But for the most part, if you’re not willing to do your homework, you’re not my customer. And I actually I’m quite tough, you know, I call it tough, tough love. In that if you don’t do your homework, you I can’t move you to the next step you can’t come to mind. You know, sometimes I’ll have a workshop and I’ll say to people, I know you’ve paid for eight sessions. But if you don’t do the homework in the fifth session, you can’t come to number six, because you’re not going to get the value that you’ve paid for it, I’ll happily refund your money
David Ralph [17:21]
up what you’re going to say that I would have kept their money as well.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [17:25]
And if you don’t get the value, you don’t have to pay that’s my that’s my mantra,
David Ralph [17:30]
and do is a lot of people. Because that’s a shame, isn’t it? That’s a shame, but they will have made a certain amount of effort they bought into the course. And then they just kind of drift away. Does that happen a lot? Because I imagine it does. Because we all have these passions where we buy gym memberships, and then after three times we never go or we plan to sort of wash the car every weekend. And after two, we don’t do it. It doesn’t happen a lot.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [17:55]
Well, I would like to think that I’m pretty good at motivating people. So I think it probably doesn’t happen as often as it could happen. But yeah, it certainly happens. I would say probably about 10% of the people that I work with are people who I will just very gently say you’re not my customer, but I’m sure that there’s somebody out there who can help you. So I’d rather you find the person who is better for you in the position that you are in your life right now, then continue to work with me when you’re not going to get the value out of it that I believe you should get if you if you work with me.
David Ralph [18:29]
But it’s not laziness, is it? It’s something else I can’t quite grasp. What do you think it’s fear?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [18:36]
It’s fear? Absolutely. It’s fear of change. And, you know, as part of being a choice agent, you have to also get beyond the fear of change. So there are strategies that you can use to help yourself, get past that fear of change. But again, if you’re not willing to do the work, if you’re afraid of doing it, if you’re afraid of being good at you, you know, sometimes where you are in life is just so comfortable, that it’s easy, it’s easier to stay where you are.
David Ralph [19:08]
We call that the C word. And we call comfort is the killer of all dreams and is our biggest swear word on this show. comfort. Yeah, because so many P and I was in it for years and years and years. So I’m not sort of making out I’m some kind of missionary, I’m pretty much saying that I know exactly what you were doing. I was doing it for 25 years, and I look back on it. And I don’t go what a wasted 25 years because I know I couldn’t be doing this without that. And it was my dots leading up to this. So it was like my practice. But I do look at it and think, God, if I hadn’t have had that big jolt in my life, when I had a boss that turned up, he was a complete lunatic. And I couldn’t work with her anymore. I would still be in comfort zone and I would still be floating along until the Christmas bonus. And Ben there may be a promotion and just sort of going along going well, because it was nothing too bad. And nothing too good to shake me up. And it’s when the people when I’ve been speaking to them, and I go yes. And we call it our big Lisa Marie is the bit where people have gone. Yes, I can look back, and that was the moment I made the move. and nine times out of 10 It’s when it was bad. It was a bad time in their life. And I look back on it. And again, I never want to go back through that again. But God, I’m glad I did. Because I am where I am now. Did you have a big point in your life that you can reflect on and say, yeah, that was the making of me?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [20:30]
Um, yeah, I did, I had a very big dot, I just want to quickly address your your comfort statement, because and I’ll tell you about my big dog because you said the words that, you know, it’s not something to feel badly about. And and I want to say that another word we could use, that sort of relates to comfort is is the is the idea of resistance, right? You you resist the combination of the Lord comfort and the envy and the pressure of resistance is very, very difficult to battle. So I want I get lured by comfort all the time. So it’s not like you all of a sudden overcome this desire for comfort, and then you never have to deal with it again. I mean, I have established my companies, especially my ecommerce company into that whole four hour workweek model. I don’t have to do this, right, I don’t have to do what I’m doing now I could comfortably work four hours a week, and you know, do my travelling and spend time with my family. But I know that I won’t be fulfilled or satisfied until I’m unless I’m continually stretching beyond my my comfort zone. And to get to my big.in, early 2000s. I was working corporate. I was working in software development. And I had a very young baby, relatively unhappy, unsatisfying marriage at that point. But I had everything that I had set my mind to, I had to house the car, the big job, you know, I worked crazy hours, my my daughter spent most of her time and in daycare. And I actually travelled a lot for business. And I was getting up in the middle of the night to test software with India. And I was on my way to work. And it was, it was early in the morning, it was about seven o’clock. And it was dark, and it was icy. And on the way to work. There was a shortcut that I could take that would cut about 10 minutes off of my travel and I was late for meeting. So I decided to say take the shortcut, even though I knew it would probably not be terribly safe. It was it was a very windy road and next to a canal and it got really, really icy. So I turned on to the road. And all of the cars behind me were also in horrible rush to get to work because that’s where everyone was headed. And they were going a lot more faster than I was comfortable with. But I of course sped up because you know, I was feeling the pressure from those people behind me. And I hit a patch of black ice, and the car just completely lifted off of the ground and started skating across the ice. And the steering wheel stopped working I had no control, it hit the embankment on the right of the street, did a complete turn and headed straight for the canal. And I bounced off of a tree that dented in the whole entire passenger side of my of my car. And then as I was going in, I remembered an Oprah episode about being able to get out of a submerged vehicle. And I remember that I had electronic windows so I pushed the electronic button. As I was soaring through the air, I took a complete nose dive into the canal went all the way to the bottom of the 20 foot canal hit the bottom really hard bounced up to the surface. And I managed as it started sinking very rapidly, I managed to climb out of the 18 inch hole I had made with my windows because I couldn’t open the doors they were the right side was bashed in and the left side was had water pressure on it so it wouldn’t open. So I called out of the window. And as it was tipping over, climbed onto the the tail lights of my car and left to the bank of the canal. And it was then when I was standing on the side of the canal road thinking my daughter could have been in that backseat, my daughter could have been in that backseat because I’m rushing and running all the time. And if she would, if she were in that backseat, I wouldn’t have been able to get her out. And it was that was my big dog that said to me, I I’ve I’ve achieved all my goals but I’m not where I need to be. And this is not where I want to be standing on the side of the road shivering watching my car sink into a canal and I’m I must make changes. And it took me a while took me I mean that was probably about 14 years ago. So I’ve been working on it. Ever since that big dot
David Ralph [24:59]
fascinating storey that is fascinating for so many elements. But Oprah Winfrey basically saved your life.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [25:07]
She did she saved my life.
David Ralph [25:09]
Yep. Who can? Who can say that? Have you ever managed to get in contact with her and say because of your episode, because that would be interesting to see what she responds.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [25:18]
I have actually, the very last year that she was on, they put a call out for people who had had their lives affected by an Oprah Winfrey episode. And I spoke to the producers quite a bit but it didn’t end up they only had a few episodes left of the show at that point. So it didn’t end up getting on. But yeah, I did tell they were they were thrilled with the storey they thought it was fabulous.
David Ralph [25:40]
I think he’s an amazing storey. And he was also amazing is the fact that you were calm enough to think you know, you would think you just be panicking crashing out, but you apartments calm enough to actually remember and actually take action while you were sort of going to the canal. I know I don’t know how I was calm. I’m not usually calm under those kinds of circumstances. But yeah, I was pretty calm. So astonishing. And the thing that struck me as well was the fact that you said, you know, that was 14 years ago. And now you’re on the show now, and we’re talking about your success. But it really comes back to what I was saying right at the beginning, in your introduction, your dreams may not come true tomorrow, but they will come true. Building dreams takes time and commitment. And it does, doesn’t it but so many people look at the overnight success scenario. And it’s never there, you just don’t see but 10 years of struggle, whatever before the person. So that actually gets to the point. And we all noticed them. And that’s such a shame that people benchmark themselves on a fantasy and not the reality.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [26:47]
Yeah, I mean, it took me five years from that big.to actually quit my job. So you know, I was working on it during those five years. But it took five years to be able to be in the position where I could quit my job. So it’s it’s not easy. It’s hard work. And that’s obviously you. You said that is something that I say in my introduction, right? It’s hard work, there is no get rich quick, takes time, takes commitment.
David Ralph [27:13]
It took me five years as well, it took me five years of building up affiliate sites and playing online and all those kind of things until I could have just enough money to pay my bills. So when I made the leap of faith and quit my job, I was poor. I’m still poor, I’ll be honest, where I was, I would have been much more comfortable actually being in my career earning three times as much as I’m earning now. But I wouldn’t be as happy. I wouldn’t have the time freedom, I wouldn’t have the control. But I do look back on it. And I think Yeah, people think it was a quick leap. But it wasn’t it was night after night after night, every lunchtime working on things, working on things, working on things, just so that he gave me a platform to be output to step away. Now I know some people will just leave sleep. Now I was never brave enough to do that I would have held back to the last minute, just so that I know that my family aren’t going to suffer. But people have been telling me in the interviews that they just left and pretty much worked it out as they fail. And as they fail, they were building the parachute. And when they landed, they were in a better position than they were when they left. Would you be brave enough to do that?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [28:23]
I don’t think so, because I had a child. And so I had a commitment. So I think that people have different personalities. I always say I’m a conservative risk taker. So I really do like change. And I like risk. But I like to know that my chances are pretty good of at least landing somewhere some my comfortable. I am you know, I I have been through times where I’ve really, really struggled. And I’ve been through times where I’ve really comfortable and it goes up and down depending on the kinds of choices that you’ve made. But I would never endanger its to your point. Right, David, you had a family, you never endanger your family? Put them in a position of struggling because of your choices.
David Ralph [29:04]
No, but if I was a single man, I kind of wonder, well actually wonder whether I would have as well. I think if I was a single man, I think I would have remained trapped in that comfort zone for a lot longer. Because you know, you just have more money, you can do what you want. You can have free holidays weekends away. And you can almost design your life around the hassles of being at work and doing the things that you don’t like, you can almost balance it out there. Yeah, okay, I’ve got a good life because I’m doing all this, even though I’m doing that, but now I see it. But you can have everything if you’re willing to put your mind to it.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [29:41]
Absolutely. And to your point that you said earlier, David, it’s not about money, right? It’s really not about money. And most people think, oh, I’ll start a business so I can get rich. And when I’m rich, all my problems will go away, and I’ll be happy. And that’s not what what happens. Life is not about the achievement of, of the collection of things, right life is about really understanding your ultimate wise, which is another thing that I teach to my clients, and the pursuit of those ultimate wise, it’s what is what gives you the joy and the happiness in life. And that’s what you were doing during your five years, right? And all of a sudden, you’re an overnight success. And you’ve got 15,000 listeners a day. But hey, you know, you know that it was five years of getting that but it was a good five years, because even though you didn’t you weren’t in the monetary position that you used to be you were doing something that fulfilled your ultimate lies. Yeah. Which is what it’s about
David Ralph [30:36]
is, that’s totally what it’s about. I’m gonna play that speech now from a chap called Jim Carrey. And I’ve started throwing this into the show, because literally all my guests will get to a point like, Oh, I know what you’re saying, because I’ve got this little recording. I’ve listened to this and see what you think of this. This is Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [30:51]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got to save job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [31:19]
I love that more every time I hear it.
Unknown Speaker [31:22]
David Ralph [31:24]
Fabulous. It is absolutely true to everyone that we should go through what we love doing before anything else, always sort of naive way of thinking, even though I love it.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [31:38]
Well, two points. First of all, when he said in the speech, he didn’t become a Canadian, because he didn’t believe that was possible. That I think is because he truly didn’t understand his his ultimate wise. And I think that happens to so many people that we dream about only those things that we believe are possible. And that we have to move beyond our belief to find our real dreams, because some of us don’t even figure out what our Why is. Because we’re so limited by our belief of, of what’s possible. And so your second question about whether everybody should just do what they love? No, I don’t believe that’s true. And I’m I think I’m quite controversial in this, David. And that I tell people that the the advice of do what you’re loving the money, do what you love, and the money will follow is complete crap. because money is not associated with everything. Right? Yeah. I mean, if you love playing my like my husband, if you love playing football, soccer, but you’re not good enough to be a professional player, there’s no point in saying, Do what you love, and the money will follow. Because it’s just not going to do, it’s just not going to happen. What I say is learn to love what you do, so that you can eventually find the time and the money and the freedom to do what you love.
David Ralph [33:00]
Yeah, no, I take your point. But I do think that if Yeah, if I was going to be a professional football player, it’s never gonna happen. I couldn’t kick a ball around with the best of them. But it’s never going to happen. You’ve got to have a certain amount of passion and talent, don’t you that there’s a there’s a chap called Greg Reed, who is part of the Napoleon Hill foundation. And Napoleon Hill wrote this book thinking Grow Rich many, many years ago, when he went round. And he spoke to all the successful Uber, millionaires, Henry Ford’s, and the Carnegie’s and all that kind of stuff. And he came up with this blueprint of success. Well, Greg Reid has gone out and done it again. And he’s a spoken to people like Marty Cooper, the man who invented the mobile phone and those kinds of things. I think he’s done Richard Branson stuff. And he’s come up with this secret to success. And it’s i plus a, I’ve got to get this in my head, because I’m thinking of the Timothy. It’s an action and association times, passion and talent, plus faith. So he says, first of all, we’ve got to take action. And then you’ve got to surround yourself with people or find people that are doing it so that you can build up a network. And you can find that the quick route or the the right route to be able to do these things. But without passion and talent, you’re not going to get anywhere. So you see these people on X factor in American Idol, but they get up on stage and they go, you know, what, what’s your dream? Oh, I want to be the next, Mariah Carey, and they open their mouth, and you think, Oh, my God, they just haven’t got the talent. And so all the passion in the world, even though the mums standing there going,
Unknown Speaker [34:39]
Simon Simon, you’ve ruined their life, you’ve ruined her life, she will
David Ralph [34:43]
be a number one is never ever going to happen. So you do need the passion and the talent. But then that last bit of faith, that is where the words of Steve Jobs that we’re going to play later comes into it. And that’s the bit that when it’s hard, and you think you can’t go one more step, you’ve got to keep on going chipping away changing direction and moving on, then I think, what what Jim Carrey is saying is true, find your passion and go for something that you really believe in? And the money will come?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [35:13]
Yeah, um, I, I think that is true. But I think there are ways to, again, back to that whole concept of calculated risk, right? There are ways that you said chopping and changing. And I think that’s the key you have, you can’t doggedly stick to a business idea, or a career choice based on faith, if you aren’t willing to chop and change and try different things. Because there’s no point in saying, Well, I have faith that this is going to succeed and continue doing the wrong things. The wrong things aren’t going to get you there. So there’s there’s a lot, I think there’s a lot more to that formula, in terms of strategy, right, and being willing to be flexible, and, and again, make back two choices back again to choices be willing to make different choices. So even though so maybe you know, you want to do something, you maybe you have this business idea, and you think that is the best business idea, and you have faith that it’s going to succeed and you keep doing it, you keep doing it, keep doing it, and nothing is happening. Maybe it’s a variation of that business idea. Or maybe it’s, you know, taking what you love and applying it to something that you never thought you could apply it to. Because I think just doggedly following something because you have the faith that you will succeed is like those people who go on The X Factor and think they’re going to be the next Mariah Carey. But
David Ralph [36:49]
yeah, I agree with you totally on that you do have to change this, this show now is going beyond anything I could possibly hope the guests that I’ve got lined up. Just, I couldn’t even comprehend how. And actually, funnily enough, I look back on it, and I see him lined up and I’ve been hell did they connect to me, I can’t even remember how I’ve managed to connect with these people now. But I have got like the, the first astronauts in space and the first space and the first fat and, and all these amazing, amazing people. But my idea of the show at the beginning isn’t what it is. Now. It’s changed, it’s moved, it’s developed its own spirit, its own character. But it’s better, it’s better because of it. And it’s better, because I’ve allowed it to kind of find its natural place, more than the idea that I had right at the very beginning, which was kind of like other shows. And it made me realise after about 30 episodes, I was doing a show and I suddenly realised I was having a conversation. And it wasn’t something that was prescribed, it was something that was naturally flowing. And I could feel the strength of that, just because I let it develop. So you do need to develop and you do need to change your plans, you didn’t need to backtrack, but you do need to keep on going, going going down you
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [38:07]
do you do you do have to be you will eventually find your extraordinary life. That’s that’s what you have to have faith, you have to have faith that your choices are leading two phases. And when you talk about joining up the dots, David and I know you you play the the speech. During your during the conversation, I look at the dots as marking choices, right? So if I look back at my life, and I look at all the dots because I have a very diverse background do different things. I think the dots my choices, and the reason they all join up is because the choices are what sends you on on a different path. And the choices are what creates the whole picture.
David Ralph [38:53]
Do you know I think you’re in the noisiest library I’ve ever heard in my life.
Unknown Speaker [38:57]
David Ralph [39:00]
But do Italians operate differently in libraries when everyone else?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [39:05]
It’s also the tourist centre. So you’re hearing some tourists or not, maybe some Italians come in for tourist advice.
David Ralph [39:13]
Yeah, it makes it live, it makes it vibrant, I was just thinking whispers that I would do in the library doesn’t really exist.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [39:21]
Now, you’ll probably hear the church bells going crazy in a little while as well, they tend to do that
David Ralph [39:26]
when I’m on the phone. That’s what we like about it. So so let’s play those words that we were just talking about the Steve Jobs speech. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [39:32]
Oh, of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [40:08]
How about you nice words to listen to have a Be true to you?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [40:13]
I think they’re very true. And I that’s probably where I get a little bit whoo, whoo. Right. David, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. And even the the really bad things that happen. Open up a whole bunch of choices. And it’s choices that create change. And change creates opportunity. So Steve Jobs is talking from personal experience, right? He got fired from his own company. Right. And he that was probably he thought his life was over. But it wasn’t it was just the beginning of a new chapter. So yeah, I believe that you can’t look forward, you have to trust that every time you make a choice, you’re going to be creating change. And every time you create change, you open up more opportunities, it’s exponential.
David Ralph [41:04]
The interesting thing with the Steve Jobs thing was and this isn’t the Steve Jobs lover, but you know, you can take the man for what he is a brilliant businessman, but he had these flaws, as we all know. But what I loved about that was when he was sacked from his own job. And that must be really hard to take. Oh, that must be the darkest point. He didn’t just sort of bounce back because he Steve Jobs instantly he he was in despair. And people would go up to his house and just find him almost sitting on the floor with no furniture thinking his life was was ended really. But then he turned it around. And he created Pixar and sort of went on to even more success before coming back to Apple and, and bringing it around full circle joining up these dots. And it’s interesting that part when he was in his total despair, I would love to get him on the show. I prayed it’s not going to happen. But he did. I would say to him, you know, was that your big daughters? Well, when you were saying what do you look back and think that was really where I, I changed direction and become the powerhouse, but but everybody remembers, it’d be fascinating to know.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [42:16]
I bet that was a bet it was because otherwise he was on a pretty well established, understood pathway. It was that he you know, it found that this company and now he was the president and he was just going to live out the rest of his life and you know, find found charity eventually. But it was probably that that said, Hey, you know what? Things change. And I have to take advantage of changes to create opportunity, which is exactly what he did is he’s a fascinating man. I think
David Ralph [42:45]
he’s he’s fascinating because it’s he’s a character that’s light and dark, isn’t he? You know, there’s so many people that love him and what he stood for, and there’s so many people that think He’s the worst person that’s ever walked on this earth, you know? And it is that facet. Fascinating contrast between the two. And I, you know, I’m totally neutral on him. I don’t know that much. But I do remember being given that speech at work. And chapter two, me go and just read this. I’ve just found this Have a look at this. And I read it. And it struck me with such power. The first part, the second part, and the course the bit I play on the show the middle bit, it just seemed to me to be words of our ages. Really?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [43:26]
Oh, I agree.
David Ralph [43:28]
What What is it about the gala heads Let’s change direction, because we’ve been talking about you setting up your life all over the place. And for many people, that would be the dream life sitting in an Italian library or laying on a beach with your laptop, boom, job done. But you’ve taken it to the next level. And you’ve created the gala had a movement to inspire women to take greater control of their lives. And I’ve spoken to a few ladies on the show who are doing similar things. And there seems to be a big need for this. When did that occur to you? Was it something that you was aware of in corporate land and you’ve been developed later on? Or was it something that once again, just came out of the blue and and made you create this way?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [44:08]
is definitely from my corporate background. I think David I mean, if you have spent any time in corporate America, you will understand that it truly is a man’s world. And I saw so many women believe that there were so few positions for women at the top actually not believe know it, because it’s actually true. There are so few play pieces for women at the top that instead of banding together to support each other and applaud each other’s successes, they turn on each other. You know, and that’s not just a corporate issue. I think, again, I this is probably getting into a little bit of a controversial space. But I think it’s an entrepreneurial issue as well. I mean, women, sometimes they’re just not very nice to each other. And they’re not, they don’t network and, and support each other in the same way that men do. Which is why you don’t really have you know, a female masons or, you know, which is why men are able to get ahead because they know how to network and they know how to use these Connexions. So the gala has really came from this desire to have the kind of group that I wanted to be in, which was when I first started out, I needed help, I needed women to talk to who had done it before, I needed women to talk to that were willing to put their hand down as I was climbing up the cliff and hold me up. And I couldn’t find them. The kinds of networking organisations that I was joining, for the most part, everyone was kind of out for themselves. And there weren’t really any mentor type women available. So I decided that it would be important to have a group of women, we’re kick ass, right. And that’s the that’s the sub line of the ads. It’s a secret society for kick ass women, it’s women who want to not only succeed in life in business, but also who are willing to conduct themselves by the rules of what I call the code of chivalry, which is being generous, defending other women learning as much as you possibly can. But generosity is really the core concept. Right? So the gala has is an organisation and actually right now it’s close to the members because we’re trying, trialling some new features. And we’re keeping it very small. It’s an organisation where you have to apply to get in and you have to be a certain at a certain level, you don’t have to have a business, but you have to be a certain kind of woman. And you have to agree to abide by the tenants of the code of chivalry. And it’s, it’s a gamified platform. So the more you you improve yourself, improve your business and the more successes you gain, while conducting yourself within the tenants of the code of chivalry, the more points the higher ranked, that you get. It’s all based on the whole Camelot concept right of knighthood. And I’ve gotten a lot of grief for that too, of taking a masculine paradigm and turning and only using a masculine paradigm for for women’s group. But I I caught a hijacking. Why couldn’t there have been female Knights? Well, the only reason they’re couldn’t have is because you know, society wouldn’t allow that that particular time. But I picture the Galahad says these strong women willing to go out there and and risk their lives for the other members of the round table.
David Ralph [47:51]
So who gives you grief? No, no, he’s brilliant. But who gives you grief? What choosing the name gala has? Is it women or is it men?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [48:00]
Women? Yeah. Usually.
Usually older women, older, successful women, the young women get it right away. But the older successful women like my, my, my circle, kind of say, Well, you know, you should have made it, you know, it should have been Joan of Arc, or you know, some female, something that had the female qualities of strength. But I say we’re Hi, Jackie, in the fairy tale, we don’t need a night to write it on a on a white horse. Right? We can be that night. So,
David Ralph [48:36]
Australia recently. So successful women are basically trying to pigeonhole themselves where you’re trying to break it down and make it, you know, change identity for us. Because a lot of that identity is the thing that holds women and men back isn’t it, it’s what life expects us to be live. And so you’re trying to change this and people are going, you should have done it that way you should have done in that way, I would find that very difficult to deal with. And I would I’d probably say a couple of nasty things.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [49:08]
But you know what the point is, and this is something I say to my clients as well, not everyone is your customer. So and that’s fine. If you’re not my customer, please go ahead and find the person who is right for you. I don’t mind if I can’t serve you. Because I know that there is a very specific group that I can serve. And you know, if I can’t make you happy, if you’ve already decided that you don’t agree with some cool things that I’m doing, or, or things like you’re not going to do your homework. Right, then you’re not my customer. And that’s okay, I hold you know, it will you have your beliefs and your opinions and they’re fine. Like, a lot of people told me that I had to change the, the byline, I couldn’t say kick ass, you know, in an organisation because it was a swear word, and it would put people off? Well, if it puts you off, then you’re not my customer. And that’s okay. You there’s plenty, plenty of other organisations that you can join where you would feel more part of that specific tribe,
David Ralph [50:06]
right? I think the phrase is, and a manager said this to me many, many years ago, but anyone does something new. They’re going to attract attacks. And he said, pioneers always attract arrows. And I think that’s absolutely true, isn’t it? And that’s what’s holding yourself, you’re doing something new, and there’s going to be half the band going, we could have done this, why didn’t we do this and the other half going out, it’s not going to work any way, you know. And it is that that that peer group that we surround ourselves, which is so important to make sure that we have got champions, we have got supporters, because ultimately, and I’m finding it on this show, and I it kind of took me by surprise, because everything that I do on this show is from the heart, I absolutely want to inspire the world to create, you know, their dream life. And by these conversations, and by my support and everything I’m trying to build, I’m trying to build up a network that will be there for good. And I’ve had emails from people, but I’ve been, you know, quite horrible, really. And I kind of think, Why Why are you sending those?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [51:09]
But I do yeah.
David Ralph [51:12]
People have said to me, you know, the more you become successful, the more you’re going to get those and it’s just is the way life is?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [51:19]
Yeah, and you just have to put them aside and not let them get you. And honestly, honestly, that’s one of my biggest struggles, I really have a problem when people and it not for the Galahad because I’m really confident that that’s the right that I’m doing the right thing in the right space. But when people make them personal attacks, and they do they will I mean even things like simple like blog posts, you know, somebody will come back with something horribly personal. I have trouble switching that off. But it’s it’s definitely a skill that you must have. If you want to continue to put new things out into the world and to be brave, you you have to also be able to just say you know what, you are not my customer, you are not my mantra, right? You are not my customer, you are not my customer. There’s plenty of people I can help. I’m sorry that I can’t help you. Right.
David Ralph [52:03]
I think it’s a good one. Good one and tough, tough enough. That’s what we need to do as well, because you guys are gonna get blows. Just before I put you on the sermon at a mic and we send you back in time to have a one on one with the young Lisa Marie, where would you like to leave your mark on this world when when you depart? Would it be the data heads? Would it be the the vibe that you’ve created? Would it be that you’ve changed people’s lives? Where would your mark want to be?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [52:29]
Well, laptop life Lisa is my coaching company. And that is where I feel like I make the most impact. Because truly I’ve seen people’s lives change my very first client for left up life, Lisa was an art teacher making about you know, $30,000 a year or something like that. And she had always wanted to have her own company. And she’d always wanted to have her own company that was location independent, meaning she could work from anyway. And within 18 months, she was making $12,000 in revenue a month through our working together. And even if she were the only one I had helped with laptop life, Lisa, I would be thrilled. It’s like I said to you earlier, I don’t have to do not laptop like me, so I could see I could give in to the Lord of comfort. But I would like my mark to be that I just helped, you know, 20 people, it 10 it doesn’t matter if I help someone change their life through discovering what they want becoming a choice agent, you know, starting a free range business and finding freedom. That’s that’s the mark that that I would like to leave. I’m happy and comfortable with that.
David Ralph [53:51]
Well, so you should be i think that’s that’s what life is all about. Just that last question before I sort of put you on the mind. Would you say that you are a designer dream maker? Would you say that you you help people design their lives or find their dreams?
Unknown Speaker [54:07]
Gosh, that’s a tough one. Is that? Is that a frequent question?
David Ralph [54:10]
No, I’ve just made it up. It just occurred to me.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [54:12]
Yeah, it’s a good one. That’s the way I
David Ralph [54:14]
run here. Lisa, it’s how
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [54:17]
you know how to roll. Um, I would say that I help people do both. I help people discover their dreams, and then design the life that will fulfil those dreams.
David Ralph [54:36]
Woman Ella go one or the other?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [54:38]
Oh, gosh, I would then then I would say designer design a designer,
David Ralph [54:42]
right? Okay. That’s the that’s the answer I was looking for? Well, okay, this is the very end of the show, I really don’t want this to be the end of the show. But I’m sure there’s a load of people coming in. They’re going Oh, they’re recording a show here. In the library. We better sort of creep creep around. But this is the Sermon on the mic. And this is when I send you back in time to have a one one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and walk into a room and meet the younger Lisa Marie, what would you say to them? And would you talk to them the one in New Jersey or the one down in Bristol or the one maybe few weeks ago? It’s up to you. But I’m going to play the music in Europe. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [55:24]
Here we go with the best.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [55:41]
So I’m speaking to Lisa Marie, who is about 19, or 20, and university. And I’m going to say Lisa Marie, don’t rush so much. Don’t be so eager to make everything the way it’s supposed to be. Be comfortable with
Sitting in a space of insecurity is where you find your dreams. And you need to spend time figuring out what you want, before you rush forward so quickly. And be more confident and believe in yourself. Know that every single one of us has truly unique traits and truly unique talents. And as those unique traits and talents that count and you don’t have to be just like everyone else in order to succeed. So be more confident and stop making choices earlier. But make lots of choices. Don’t make one choice and believe that the only choice that you have, make lots of different choices and try out lots of different changes before you settle on the one that you think is the right one. So going back to the message of Be patient Don’t rush. That’s what I would say. That’s what I would say to Lisa Marie
David Ralph [57:26]
when I hope she’s listening. I really do. Lisa Marie, it’s been wonderful having you on the show, but how can people connect with you?
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [57:34]
They connect can connect several ways. If they want to learn about all of my businesses, they can just go to my regular website. Lisa Marie Gabelli calm if they are interested in the freedom formula, and how I teach people to start businesses that help them find their extraordinary life. They can visit ww dot laptop life lisa.com and if they want to connect with me on Facebook, it’s also facebook.com slash laptop life Lisa. And also I can be reached through Twitter as well at at laptop life, Lisa, and happily, I will receive emails at Lisa at laptop life. lisa.com
David Ralph [58:14]
just not nasty Wednesday.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [58:17]
If you want to send me a nasty one, that’s fine, but I will follow my own advice and I will delete it before I read it.
David Ralph [58:23]
You’re not my client. That’s what I’m going to say to me. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us today joining up those dots. And please come back again, when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining those dots and connecting our past is the very best way to build our futures. Lisa Marie Kimberly, thank you so much.
Lisa Marie Cabrelli [58:43]
Thank you David. It was really fun.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.