Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast with Michele Molitor
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Introducing Michele Molitor
Michele Molitor is today’s guest, joining us today on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
She is the founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting Inc., and co-author of the best-selling book “Breakthrough Healing”.
She works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing over 25 years of experience, intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to their success.
She is an expert at enhancing the capacity of leaders, to build high performing teams and exponentially increase bottom-line results.
Now what interests me, and why I have invited her onto the show is her unique Rapid RewiringTM approach
This is a culmination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology and Rapid Transformational Therapy.
How The Dots Joined Up For Michele
She helps catalyze shifts in thinking and eliminate mental/emotional blocks to rapidly rewire your brain for greater confidence and success.
As a nationally recognized speaker, certified executive coach, Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) practitioner, change management consultant, trainer, and writer, her passion for helping amplify natural talents and expand leadership is conveyed through all aspects of her work and writing.
But of course as we see on Join Up Dots, time and time again our guests come to us when everything is amazing and success swims around them on a daily basis.
But we all have dark times getting things off the ground, before we find the path that really lights us up inside and makes work not seem like work anymore.
So how did she find her way to where she is today?
And would she say that she needed to rewire her own brain as she built her business?
During the entrepreneur podcast show we had deep hitting conversations with Michele Molitor around subjects such as:
We share why it is so important to reflect on your core drivers to help you imagine what life could be. Your values should drive your passions not the other way around.
Why the more gratitude we share with the world brings about greater and greater rewards into our lives. Life shouldn’t be hard if we only say “Thank You”
The best thing you can do in a terrible job is to find an aspect of that job and savour it. Whatever it maybe find that gold and polish it until it shines
Michele shares the journey from corporate unhappiness to fulfilled entrepreneur, and knows that everything in life has been for a reason.
Connect With Michele Molitor
Free Training: 5 Steps To Confidently Excel In Your Career (Without Ever Feeling Like A Fraud) http://www.nectarconsulting.com/free-training/
Free EBOOK: Saying No With Grace and Grit lead page: http://bit.ly/SayingNoWithGraceandGrit
Free eBOOK: Tapping Into Your Power & Presence lead page: http://bit.ly/TappingYourPowerNPresence
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Michele Molitor Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:25]
Good morning to you. Well, good morning to everybody who listens to join up dots in their thousands. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you so much for our guest who’s joining us today as the founder and CEO of nectar consulting, and co author of the best selling book breakthrough hailing. Now she works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing over 25 years of experience, intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to their success. She’s an expert at enhancing the capacity of leaders to build high performing teams, and exponentially increasing bottom line results now that it’s all kind of commonplace. We hear that time and time again. Now, what really interested me and why have I invited onto the show is her unique rapid rewiring approach. Trademark and it’s a trademark you can’t take those words. This is a culmination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence neuroscience organization or something psychology and rapid transformational therapy. She helps shift in thinking and eliminates mental emotional blocks to rapidly rewire your brain for greater competence and success. As she was saying to me beforehand, she knows how to join up dots now as a nationally recognized speaker certified executive coach, rapid a transformational therapy practitioner, change management consultant, trainer and writer. A passion for helping amplify natural talents and expand leadership is conveyed through all aspects of our work and writing. How does she juggle so many things we will find out. But of course, as we see on join up dots time and time again, our guest comes to us when everything is amazing, and success swims around them on a daily basis, like happy dolphins. But we all have dark times getting things off the ground before we find the path that really lights us up inside and makes work not seem like work anymore. So how did she find her way to where she is today? And would you say that she needed to rewire your own brain or she has built her business? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start joining up with the one and only Michelle monitor. Good morning, Michelle. How are you?
Michele Molitor [2:31]
I’m doing great, David, how are you? I’m always great. I’m always great.
David Ralph [2:35]
I have very low standards in my life. That means that basically, as long as you know, as long as I’ve got clothes on my back, and I got a plate of food in front of me, I’m all right. And then everything else from that is a bonus. Is that what we do wrong? Michelle? Do we aim too high and then struggle to achieve that happiness.
michele molitor [2:54]
You know, I think aiming high is a great thing. And it’s about making sure that you have tangible practical steps to get you there, right. tenacity is key along the way, and just keep striving and moving forward towards that big vision that you’ve got for yourself.
David Ralph [3:12]
But lots of people don’t have that big vision. And lots of people when you speak to them, they say I don’t know what I want to do. I know what I don’t want to do. Because I’m doing it. Oh, I’ve done it before, but actually for the big vision. So So what about those people? Michelle?
michele molitor [3:26]
You know, I see this a lot David Actually, we it’s amazing how many people have forgotten how to dream have stifled themselves and put themselves in a box. And this is all there is right? This is what worked for my parents or my family. And this is all there is for me. And so it’s about taking time to reflect on what are those values that are really, really important to you those core drivers that get you out of bed and move you forward every day? And using those as a guidepost to then help you imagine, well, if I wasn’t doing this, what what would I really want to be doing? What could that potentially look like you know, hypothetically speaking, right, we don’t want to get your, your inner fears all kicked up. But when you just allow yourself to dream, then you can start to expand the parameters of the box that you’ve put yourself in, expand the edges of your comfort zone a little bit each day. And surround yourself with people who have visions that are bigger than yours, because they will encourage you and inspire you and pull you forward into ways that you might not have even ever imagined.
David Ralph [4:42]
He’s simple when you say that, but a lot of people that’s again, struggled to find those people and they’re surrounded by moaners and groaners that their only interest is getting down that bar straight after work on a Friday night to moan about life until they go back on Monday morning. And I I know certainly in my life, I found those I found people who fought in the same way as me quite difficult to find to say the least. And maybe one or two I found most of them just didn’t get it.
michele molitor [5:13]
Well, you know, there’s always going to be folks in your life who are those negative Nellies who haven’t glasses half empty kind of perspective on the world. And the way to help you move beyond that, excuse me, I’m sorry. The way to move beyond that is to find books, find the you know, YouTube videos to find podcasts that are uplifting, like yours, right to listen to that help you expand your your vision, you expand your thinking, you’ll be like, wow, what is what else is possible? What if I left my comfort zone if I went beyond the edge is my hometown and explored a little further to see what else is available to me that you’d be really surprised as your mind opens up and helps you see other possibilities? Because as you start to just even open your thinking like wow, what else is possible? Just asking the question, what else is possible? Your your brain is always looking to help answer questions for you. So when you ask yourself these questions, then your brain will start to find answers for you. And you’ll be able to see other things that you might not have seen before even though they they might have been right next door, for example.
David Ralph [6:41]
So is it the truth been, as we hear time and time again, that if you focus on what you don’t want, you get more of it? And if you focus on what you do want you get more of it is is that a true? Or is that just one, one of those things that the movers and shakers say, to make their lives seem better?
michele molitor [6:59]
Oh, it’s absolutely true. So in my work as an executive coach and therapist David, I’ve really geek out on the neuroscience of my work that I do, right and understanding how our brains work and understand what makes us tick as human beings. And there’s a part of your brain called the rectangular activating system. And essentially, what that part of your brain does is it helps you tune into the things that you’re thinking about. So if you’re say you decide you want to buy a new car, and you want to buy a, I don’t know a blue BMW, right, suddenly, you’re going to start noticing blue BMW is all over the road, right? It’s the same thing is true for anything, if you’re, if you’re worried about that negative thing happening at work or your project going awry. And the more you focus on something going wrong, then your rectangular activating systems like, oh, we’re looking for bad things. Okay, let me find some more bad things for you to see, essentially. So it also boils down to physics, right? One of the laws of physics is like attracts like. So as you’re focusing on, say, a negative thing, your energy, because we’re all energy, we break it all down, you vibrating in a lower frequency of energy. And so the like, attracts like physics law kicks in, and then you start attracting to you more negative things, then the converse is also true, right? So if you’re thinking about more positive things, focusing on what you’re grateful for each day, and the exciting things that you’re looking forward to, and the possibilities that you want to create in your life, then you’re vibrating at a higher frequency, because positive emotions have a higher level of vibration, literally. And so then you start attracting more of those things. So it’s a really neat concept, and it actually does work.
David Ralph [9:00]
Now, the trouble with this is because you know what we’re talking about, we’re talking about the science, but so many people will hear this and go, law of attraction law of attraction, and I’m sitting there, chanting, and nothing’s happening at all. But I understand what you’re saying. And I understand why the law of attraction works, even though I don’t believe 90% of it. But the core message is, if you’re grateful, and you’re focused on the positives, then you can see the opportunities. That’s the way I see it.
michele molitor [9:31]
Yes, you’re absolutely true. I’m not saying you want to sit in a cave and chant all day long. No, that’s not going to get you where you want to be. Absolutely. But when you when you come to your work with a positive attitude, it’s it’s contagious, right? It can take it creates a mood contagion. Isn’t that a fun thing? positive mood contagion.
David Ralph [9:54]
That was very sexy, the way you said that. Michelle, that’s something I like something. me when you said that.
michele molitor [10:03]
You’re hilarious. And so yeah, literally, you know, have you ever walked into a conference room full of people. And there might be one person in there who’s really having a bad day, and everybody feels it, and you can bring the whole room down. But you can also be the happiest person in the room. And like, wow, I’m having a great day. I’m so excited. And people will pick up on that. And so one of my favorite things to remind people is the person with the biggest energy wins. So if you walk into the conference room David and you’re like, floating on air, because you’re happy and you’re having a great day, and people are going to pick up on that and the negative Nelly or that the hateful Harold who might be in the room is, is either going to tune into your vibe, or try to bring everybody else down to where they are. It’s, it’s all about those energy frequencies. That’s really fascinating.
David Ralph [10:58]
fascinating, because it believe it because I I literally bound down to bed every day, just feeling happy. And I have to tone it down in my house because my family aren’t happy people in the morning. And they like to have their own space. And I have to have their own little, you know, their phones and stuff plugged in just where I left it the night before is a real routine. So I have to meander this path through them. But generally, I think about happiness, is it it seems so simple. Because I when I started join up dots and beforehand, I struggled. I really struggled. And yeah, you could argue it’s easy now because it’s a success. But I think it’s easy now big and it’s more successful. Now, because of me more than anything else. It’s just the way that I operate. If I’m short of money I just make our money will come and money does. And if I want more clients, more clients come I just think I allow for the flow more than before I used to try to ram it in RAM cramming in, and just sort of, you know, where my cell phone I suppose Michelle?
michele molitor [12:05]
Yeah, no, you’re absolutely right. You’re absolutely right. Having an attitude of happiness, of joy of gratitude. It literally changes your physiology David it really absolutely does. If you think about it, our bodies are what 65% water. And there’s been all this really cool research done, that the intentions that you put into water changes the physical structure. This was this Japanese
David Ralph [12:39]
guy wasn’t a Japanese. It was said nasty things to some water. And it went into a weird shape. And then he said I love you water. And he became nice.
michele molitor [12:48]
Yes, well, the crystalline structures, either if you if they said nasty things to it, that the crystalline structures became deformed. And if he said positive things to it, they were these beautiful, beautiful snowflake structures, if you will, right. So if you apply that to your own body, right, if you’re telling yourself a bunch of nasty things, oh, I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not worthy enough. I’m a horrible person, blah, blah, blah, all of that, that has a negative impact on the 50 trillion cells are swimming around in your body. Right? So do yourself a favor for everybody who’s listening and tell yourself good things, I am enough, I am smart enough, I’m talented enough, I’m capable enough, even if I don’t know, I can figure it out. Because I’m capable of moving through this world in a positive, happy way. And that changes your physiology, which then creates a cascade of happy chemicals that get released in your body dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins, which then make you feel good, which then elevate your mood, which then elevates your energy. And then you start attracting more happy positive things, right? It creates this whole upward cascade of, of positivity and goodness.
David Ralph [14:01]
And can you be sort of too good on yourself? Can you be too happy, because I’ll be honest with you, Michelle, nobody else is listening to this. More than more than probably five or six times a week, I will be in bed with my wife just about as she’s about to drop off. And I will say to, you’re lucky, you’re lucky to be in bed with me. You’re the only person on this planet to be in bed with me. And she just rolls her eyes and sort of like grabs a pillow and goes to sleep. Is that good? Or is that arrogant? Have I gone too far over one side is my bedroom antics taking me too far?
michele molitor [14:38]
Well, there’s a fine line there David right. And it depends on where you’re coming from. If you’re coming from a place of joy, of sincerity of authenticity, then go there’s nothing wrong with with being happy. But if you’re coming from a place of ego, like I’m all that in a bag of chips and girl, you are lucky to be here with me. Right?
David Ralph [15:03]
That’s that’s exactly how I do it. It’s the same voice I Yeah, you’ve nailed it.
Unknown Speaker [15:11]
With a British accent AC yes,
David Ralph [15:14]
I do it in that voice is slightly that the lady in the Tom and Jerry cartoons, that’s the kind of voice that I try to aim for.
michele molitor [15:21]
I’m guessing that your wife loves and appreciates your your sense of joy. And I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t take it for granted either. Because there’s, there are, sadly, millions of people out there in the world who have a habit of dissatisfaction, who have a habit of being really unhappy. And while they may have all the money in the world, they still unhappy, dissatisfied and feeling not good about themselves, in many ways, shapes and forms.
David Ralph [15:57]
What Let’s play some words now. And then let’s jump back into this conversation because I find it fascinating.
Rocky Balboa [16:02]
He’s rocky You, me and nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take a keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
David Ralph [16:18]
So if we take the concept of what he said, and actually put it into what we were talking about before, is it easier to make those punches bounce office. So it’s not just that we’re taking the punches, but actually, they don’t actually do anything to us, they just bounce off.
michele molitor [16:35]
It’s, it’s about your attitude. It’s all about your attitude, right David if you’re allowing those punches to get at you to strike you at your core, your emotional core, then they can be far more damaging. But if you’ve got a sense of resilience, you’ve got a grounded sense of I know who I am, and I know that I’m worthy, and I’m valuable, and I can I can handle this, then there, it’s much easier for those proverbial punches to to bounce off of you and not have as difficult as an impact. So make sense.
David Ralph [17:16]
It does make sense it does make sense. But I’m still wondering, for the listeners out there that are being surrounded by these punches all these time, where people are saying to them, you know, you’re not good enough, or you haven’t hit your targets or, you know, yet your inbox is overflowing. It’s all those kind of little things that are chipping away. How can they find gratitude, where basically in life generally in corporate world, especially, it’s all about sort of taking from you. And that’s why you get home and you’re exhausted. And that’s why I do this job. I love it. And it doesn’t feel like works, because it’s like feeding me and it’s not taking taking anything away.
michele molitor [17:55]
Yeah, well, that’s the key right there David is doing work that feeds your soul, that feed your heart that feed your spirit. Now I get that everybody is able to do that they they’re in jobs, because they have bills to pay, and have mouths to feed and a family to support right. And so even if you’re doing work that feels draining to you, the best thing you can do is to find some aspect of the work that is fulfilling to you, even if it’s the tiniest bit, right? Even if you’re say you’re doing a job where you’re doing a very repetitious thing every single day, maybe it’s well, I really enjoy my co workers, I really enjoy the camaraderie that we have, or the community that we’ve built, find something about it that you can appreciate and have gratitude for. Because that is the piece that can start to refill your bucket.
David Ralph [18:56]
Because generally most people say that don’t lie, or when they leave, they go, I won’t miss the word, I will miss the people.
michele molitor [19:04]
Yes, exactly. You know. And so one way to help you figure out what are those things that do fill you up? is? It’s pretty simple, but not necessarily easy. It’s looking at what are your core values? What are the things that really are so important to you, they’re like water and air. So, for example, one of my core values is creativity, right? I’m an artist, and I paint and I draw, but even in my work, there is an artistry to it, there’s a creativity to it. And if I’m not able to flex that creative muscle in some way every day, then work can be draining right when I have to get stuck doing reports, for example. So the thing is, is for all the listeners, find the things that are really, really important to you family, friends, making a difference, creativity, nature, giving back whatever they might be, and see how well those values are being honored in each day through your work. Because if they’re not being honored, that’s what creates stress and tension and dis ease in your life, right. And over time that dis ease can very easily turn into disease. So it’s something to be very, very mindful of. And you know, I happen to have a free values assessment on my website, under the Brain Candy section. So you know, everybody’s welcome to go there and have a look at that and put it to good use for yourself.
David Ralph [20:38]
So these core drivers been so I am not a clever person, Michelle. And so is it like we’ve all got buckets inside our body, and some of them might be full of fun. Some of them might be full of creativity. And we’ve got to be very aware that we can’t just keep on taking out of the bucket, we’ve got to find ways of putting it back into the bucket to keep it overflowing. Would that be a simple way of thinking about these core drivers?
michele molitor [21:04]
Yes, exactly. Exactly. I love it. I’m a big fan of the bucket analogy, right? So get it
David Ralph [21:12]
Michelle was a genius and you were gonna say you are you are intelligent, sexually attractive person David I thought you were gonna say all these things to me?
michele molitor [21:24]
Absolutely. You’re reading my mind David, how did you know?
David Ralph [21:27]
I’ll tell you? Well, I’ll tell you what, I can say anything on these shows. And you’re so nice. You’ll say it back in real life. In real life, you’d be different. Michelle, if I met you at the supermarket, I think you would mind me
michele molitor [21:40]
know, I’m a pretty happy positive person, myself David and I recognize, you know, of like, mine tribe, like, oh, there’s another happy person look, hello, right? You know, it’s all about being kind to others and, and sharing the good vibes and the happiness with others. Because you never know your smile, your small act of gratitude can make or break someone else’s day. So I always try to be a positive force of nature, you know,
David Ralph [22:10]
now I like these core drivers business, because when I started everything, people used to say that phrase, go for the passion, go the passion, and you will never work again. And it’s really hard to find your passions, but to find things that you think, yeah, I just enjoy, because I now know, but my core driver is fun. I do like having fun. And I there’s you know, I have certain people that asked me to work with them. And if I think they’re boring, I know it sounds a bit, you know, strange, I don’t work with them. Because I just think, Oh, this is going to be drab. I’m not going to do this. But you can take those core drivers, and you can find areas where they actually thrive. So instead of finding the passions, you’ll find in the buckets that work in any situation, that’s got to be an easier way of finding your finger in it.
michele molitor [23:00]
Yeah, absolutely. It’s about breaking it down. Because inside of those core values, the things that fill your bucket that lights you up that gets you out of bed every day. Those are the things that can point you in the direction of those bigger passions, if you will, you know, what I found through my work David is that our greatest source of pain is often our greatest source of power. Right? And what I mean by that is, even though you may have come through some really difficult times when you can turn that challenge that lessen that pain, turn it around into a gift that you can give to others. That often is where that place of passion lies, right. So here’s a great example. My my best at my dearest friend, Sherry and Tom. She’s a five time cancer survivor. She’s amazing. And she has taken all the lessons she’s learned from her cancer journey and turn it into a training business called the cancer journey. And she essentially trains people how to be cancer coaches all over the all over the country. Right. So it’s taking the the difficult things that we’ve learned throughout our lives, and turning it into something that we can then share with others that helps us give back that fills our bucket and allows us to feel really fulfilled on a daily basis, because that’s when work doesn’t feel like work anymore. It’s like, wow, I get to do what I love every day and I get paid for it. Hey, bonus,
David Ralph [24:38]
it wasn’t easy, isn’t it? And I actually went through a bit of guilt. When I actually thought I shouldn’t be getting paid for this. I’m actually enjoying it. I’m really liking this. I don’t feel like that now. I just think oh, give me the money. You know, I’m very grateful. I’m very grateful for it. But there was a big part of my life when I was thinking. It’s almost too easy. I shouldn’t be charged. Purvis did. Does that make sense? Do you discover that with other people?
michele molitor [25:05]
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. It’s a very popular theme song. So in my work as a rapid transformational therapy practitioner, I basically get in and help people rewire their brains, right their thinking. And you’d be surprised how many people have an old program sorted away in their subconscious mind that says, I have to work hard to earn my success, because that’s what my parents told me. That’s what I learned growing up. But it doesn’t have to be hard, you can work hard and create all sorts of abundance in your life. And you can have fun along the way and still create wonderful abundance in your life. So it’s about noticing the thought patterns that you have, that are maybe holding you back, and they might be so unconscious to you, because they’re so deeply ingrained. You don’t even know that’s the thought that’s got you stuck, right? That’s what’s fast meaning for folks is when you can realize, Oh, I have this thing that’s blocking me from moving forward in my life. But I don’t quite know how to get at it. That’s when the work that I do comes in really handy because I’m able to help folks tap into their subconscious mind, find the block the limiting belief, the fear, that’s causing the them spinning in circles, or even manifesting as as physical or emotional pain, and eliminate it literally, and help them rewire their brains to move forward really powerfully with greater joy to create abundance and to have a happy, successful career life in whatever shape or form that looks like,
David Ralph [26:43]
is I You are right about you know the story because I now realize that I had the story that my dad gave me and my dad is going to be it in about a couple of weeks time. And my dad will basically drop dead on a ladder, painting a wall. So either he doesn’t stop from the moment he wakes up at the moment, he goes to bed and he’s at and people are saying My God, you know, he just never stops. And he’s always been about work, work, work, work. And my mom was always about, you know, job for life. Just get in there and protect what you’ve got, you know, and just, you know, do your best. But don’t ruffle any feathers just trying to stay in that job as long time as you can. And I’ve been I was programmed in that regard to have to work really, really hard, but then not take bigger risks. When I did because I needed to protect what I had, it was it was a two way stretch and I was being pulled in the middle.
michele molitor [27:36]
Yep, absolutely. Because you know, our parents just want the very best for us, right? They want the very best for their children. And they’re passing along the knowledge, the wisdom, the beliefs that they inherited, right. And so, you know, my parents are 80 and 81. And same kind of thing. They’ve worked really, really hard. And there’s that I want I don’t want to say a different work ethic, but a different perspective. And so understanding that, is that my perspective, or is it something that I’ve inherited? And is it is it working? For me? That’s the real question, does this perspective, this belief that I’m holding doesn’t really work for me, because if it’s not, you can change it? Right? It’s just about deciding to change it. Because your your subconscious mind, once a belief is planted in there, it will stay there ad infinitum until you decide to change it consciously.
David Ralph [28:34]
And once you change it, you can’t go back. That’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s like a door closes behind you. And it locks itself and you’ve just moved forward into a new world is it’s very easy to do conscious decisions. When you wake up and go, I’m going to do X Y Zed. But that’s it. It’s a lot bang is gone and venue in a new world.
michele molitor [28:53]
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, once the man, what once your mind expands, there we go. I want your mind expands, it can no longer shrink back to the form that it used to be.
David Ralph [29:07]
I’ve got a friend in Chicago and she’s a lovely lady. I’ve never met her she connected through the show. And when she first came through, we used to call that Derek, because she didn’t want to didn’t want her name to be on the show. And then she said to me recently, oh, you can call me Amy, if you want to. So it was Amy. But actually, her name’s Amy O’Brien. And she’s in Chicago. And she’s finding that the more she puts into outside activities, the more actually she’s getting success in her own business, which is really weird. She said to me today, she said, it’s really strange, you know, things are going really well for me in the company. But before I couldn’t bear being in the company, all I wanted to do was what I wanted to do outside. But the success she’s getting there is actually making our inner self happier, which is bringing more rewards in to her into a corporate life. Is that a little bit strange as well, or once again, what you’re going to say to me note, that’s the way it is,
michele molitor [30:04]
actually, and there’s all sorts of great science behind this to David that if you work harder, you actually become less efficient, right. And so if you think well, if I just have to work harder, do more, do more, do more, then your your level of efficiency, your level of attention, ability to make sound decisions falls off. So it’s actually better. If you work less hours, and go take a mental break, do do the things that do fill your bucket that make you happy that allow you to relax, because then you’re able to come back to the work with greater clarity with greater focus and efficiency, and you’ll be able to get more done in less time. That’s a cool trick.
David Ralph [30:50]
So please bow I do that. And I find that I come up to my office, and I really crack on. And then I go for a walk. And I don’t actually want to come back right now pump them happy floating around these is doing the work right. But you know, as long as I do it, I keep doing it, I’m fine. As soon as I have a break, I think there’s better things to do in this.
michele molitor [31:13]
Well, you know, life is short David and it’s we’re not here to just grind ourselves to the bone and work ourselves to death, you know, your father might have a different thing to say about that, right? He just wants to work and work and work. But that’s what makes him happy. That would that’s probably what makes him feel fulfilled. And well used, as I like to say, right, I’m here working on purpose. And so it’s about finding that balance between doing work that is meaningful, that has purpose for you. But also taking time to enjoy life to spend time with your friends, your family, being in nature, with your animals, whatever that looks like for you.
David Ralph [31:55]
Well, okay, so being devil’s advocate, which I like to be, what we’ve been talking about is finding something that you love doing and and the core drivers and building it into your life. Now we all know, our core drivers generally lead to hobbies, and hobbies are things that we want to do all the time anyway. So how can we separate ourselves from the things that we love doing if a lot of things are actually filling up our core drivers?
michele molitor [32:24]
That’s an interesting question. It’s a great question, Michelle,
David Ralph [32:27]
I think I think he’s some good, I’m actually going to give it a round of applause.
michele molitor [32:34]
The crowd goes wild.
David Ralph [32:35]
There we go. So once you record. So,
michele molitor [32:38]
you know, the hobbies that we do are the things that bring us joy, they they take us out of our work brain, so to speak, and they put us into a place of flow, right, that place where time disappears, right, I can go into my art studio, and I can paint and look up and it will be five hours later, like, oh, man, I’m hoping I think I’ll go eat something that I forgot about what time it was. And so the whole idea is how do you create that same place of flow, that place of utter joy that comes so naturally to you inside of your work? So that work feels just as good as working on your hobbies? Right? Does that make sense?
David Ralph [33:23]
It does. It does. But how do you get that flow? If you’re telling me about I should walk away from it? Surely, it’s like a drug. I’m going to come back over time to try to get into that space when it’s just hours past. And I know what you mean. Because when I record podcast episodes, literally, I look at the clock and I think oh my god, that’s I was gone. Bang. It’s just it’s gone past. It’s a brilliant day. But you’re telling me but I should walk away from it and separate myself from the drug. The drug Michelle, I need the drug.
michele molitor [33:52]
Thank you. Can I have another? Yes. Well, it’s, it’s about finding the balance, right? Taking a pause and stepping away from it so you can get perspective, right? If you’re down in the weeds all the time doing the work, even if you love the work, it’s good to be able to pull back and see the the 10,000 to 30,000 foot view. So you can a appreciate it. Right, like, wow, look what I made today. That’s cool. And to just refresh yourself, right? It’s just like, it’s kind of like with your eyeballs, right? If you’re staring at your computer screen all day long, and your your computer’s what a foot from you two feet from you. Right, your, your eyes can get really tired. So you have to stop and look up and focus on something far far away so that your eyes, your muscles, and your eyes can recalibrate, right? And you can and have them stretch in different ways, shapes and forms. So it’s the same thing with your being, you have to step away and look, get a different perspective of things so that you can come back to it with fresh eyes.
David Ralph [35:05]
So is that why when I’m on holiday, and I’m walking around in my mind Kini, that the best ideas buying into my head, and I just go, oh my god, I wasn’t even thinking about that. But that is what I need to do.
michele molitor [35:18]
Yes, absolutely. When you give your mind a rest from the work at hand, the problem you’re trying to solve for, then your subconscious mind is chewing on the problem nonetheless, all in the background. And so you know, weathering your shower and walking on the beach, or, you know, do whatever you’re doing to relax. And then yeah, those ideas can then just drop in. I like to call them downloads, like oh, there’s that answer. Great. Thank you. And the boy
David Ralph [35:48]
easy the shower and the bath the Eureka. Why is it in there? Is it because it’s warm? Is it just because we’re not really doing much? Why? Because you’re not in the chat room? Well, my son is he’s in the shower blooming weeks when he goes in there. He He comes out with weird alien skin is a strange thing that I look at. But um, yeah, the rest of us, we go in there, and we’re sort of we wash and we come out. So why do all the best ideas pop out in the shower?
michele molitor [36:14]
Because I think we’ve, it’s it we’ve set aside that time as a as a simple task, I’m going to go get in this stream of water, and I’m going to use some soap and have no wash up but bits, right. And your mind just kind of takes a rest. And when your mind is able to take a rest then the new ideas can pop in. You’re like Oh, right. There it is. Okay, great.
David Ralph [36:41]
And that doesn’t that work? You know, if I’m just mowing the lawn, for example, and I’m just sort of going up and down would not work the same way. Is that kind of mundane task, isn’t it?
Unknown Speaker [36:51]
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
David Ralph [36:53]
Now I’ve done lots of mundane tasks in my life in corporate land. And I wasn’t being played by big Whammy ideas all the way through. It was just oh my god, when can I get out? So why when I was in corporate land, just doing boring tasks did I not had the Epiphany is like I have in the shower.
michele molitor [37:14]
Because you were probably stressed about a lot of other things and you weren’t allowing yourself to drop into that relaxed state. It’s it’s kind of interesting, because when you’re doing mundane tasks, even if you’re like driving from your home to your office that you drive to every single day, it’s your your body kind of goes on autopilot, right? And you could have you ever had the experience when you’ve driven to work and you kind of checked out and you got there and you’re like, Oh, wait, how did I get here? I got here. Suck. That’s your subconscious mind working for my wife
David Ralph [37:50]
driving? I deliberately try to check out I’ll be honest.
michele molitor [37:55]
Right? Well, when you’re when you’re able to do that, you’re essentially dropping into what’s known as an alpha brainwave state and that kind of half awake, not quite fully present state. And that’s where your subconscious mind can be easily accessed. But it can also kind of take over and put you in autopilot as well. So when you allow yourself to drop into that alpha brainwave state, whether you’re fully awake or half asleep, nonetheless, it allows your creative mind to do the work it can do in the background and more easily for you.
David Ralph [38:36]
And that’s not flow, though, is it? That’s just you being you know, unconscious at the wheel, isn’t it? It,
michele molitor [38:43]
it can be either way.
You know, state of flow is sometimes that same state of alpha brainwaves, right? Where you’re, you’re, you’re working, but you’re not crying asleep. necessarily thinking about the problem. It’s just literally moving through you, if you will, aka flow. And so it can it can be one or the other, just depends on how you allow yourself to be with it and what comes out of it.
David Ralph [39:20]
Well, before we send you back in time, because this has been a fascinating discussion, what what would be the first thing that somebody out there who needs to retrain their brain rewire their brain? What’s the first thing that they should be thinking about doing if they’ve never considered this at all? And they’re just doing the same old, same old every single day?
michele molitor [39:41]
Well, the first thing to think about is, what’s working and what’s not working for them. And if something’s really not working for them, it’s time to perhaps take an inward look and see Hmm, what patterns am I stuck in that, I would really like to get rid of noticing that internal conversation that they’re having with themselves that might be keeping them in that stuck pattern of Oh, I’m not good enough, or I can’t do this, or something’s not available to me, I have to work really, really hard. And I just never going to achieve my goals, whatever that mindset might be, that’s really not working for them. Noticing is the first step. And then second step is in like, choosing Okay, I want to choose to do something different. So either find a book, a podcast, a video, or, you know, find someone to work with that can help you move out of your own way to help you achieve more of what you want in your life.
David Ralph [40:40]
And in the introduction, I asked a question, which I’ve been holding back to now. But I said, Would you say that you needed to rewire your own brain? As you built your own business? Did you actually have to go through the same processes? Or was it like the Terminator? You were just on the big game? Right from the minute?
michele molitor [40:59]
Oh, no, there was a whole lot of rewire. To go on.
You know, I went through some really painful corporate experiences, I got bullied out of my job, which was devastating to me, and it crushed my confidence. And it took a lot of time and a lot of rewiring to get me back to a place and much better actually than I ever was ever before. Because in hindsight, I’m like, I don’t know how much confidence I had to begin with, I was good at kind of, you know, fluffing my way through it, like being able to bless my way and and act as if I had it all figured out, even though it was scared to death inside. Right? And so understanding that and realizing, okay, there’s some things that I need to shift and change in myself. I’m a bit of a learning junkie David all admitted, can I have another workshop, please. So I am, you know, I’ve been trained in sort of as a coach, and working as a professional coach now for over 17 years, and have had coaches and, and done a lot of work on myself to rewire those things. But in all honesty, the last few bits that were still stuck in me, I wasn’t able to get past. And a few years ago, I discovered the work of Marissa Pierce, she’s a world renowned therapist. And she’s the creator of the rapid transformational therapy methodology. And I did some work with her. And the shifts and the transformations, those stuck bots in me that I had been literally trying to get at for more than 15 years were gone within weeks, weeks, and I was blown away. So I went on to get trained and certified by Marissa and her methodology and have combined it with my coaching practice and this unique rapid rewiring way that we talked about earlier. And, and it’s that process that I now do with my clients, is what helped me get to this place. So I’m all about walking my talk right and eat my own medicine. And so I’m a big believer that you can always better yourself, you can continually improve it’s called neuro plasticity, your brain can always continue to learn if you choose, right. So if you want to move yourself into a better place into a better mindset, it’s absolutely possible. But you have to start taking the steps in that direction. And understand when your fears get kicked up, right. And notice those fears and move in the direction that you want to move nonetheless, even when those fears start to drag you down or hold you back. So baby steps,
David Ralph [43:53]
so good on you. Yeah, good on you. And, and just before we go on to the Sermon on the mic, are you happy? Are you happy? Now everything always there’s still things that you need to work on.
michele molitor [44:03]
Oh, I am so blessed and to do the work that I do. And I’m absolutely happy. I feel like those boulders that were blocking my my path along the way have been removed. And I am so grateful to do the work that I love every day, and to be of service and to help others do what they love. Right? That’s the name of the game? How do we bring more joy to the planet? So yes, is the short answer.
David Ralph [44:32]
Good on you? Well, this is the end of the show now. And this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic, when I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Michelle, what age and what advice would you give her? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the music. And when it fades you up, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [44:58]
We go with the best of the show.
michele molitor [45:17]
Gosh, Michelle, it is so great to be here, to be able to have this little chat with you right? To help you see what you haven’t been able to see, you know, this younger version of you of me, right? That was so scared and nervous and fearful for many, many years, starting from a young age, probably from the age of six or seven. Well, I know you you tried to look brave, and you tried to muster through and take care of yourself and be a big girl, right? Even when you were just a little one. It’s it’s okay to be scared. And to learn how to lean in and ask for help. You have to know that everything’s going to be okay that you are strong and confident and amazing human being. And you can achieve anything you put your mind to. You just have to believe in yourself, knowing that you are enough that you are lovable enough and worthy enough and talented enough. And you always have been. And you always will be. And so recognizing that in yourself, knowing that you can achieve your dreams and allowing yourself to dream bigger than you might even imagine as possible. But knowing that everything is possible, everything is available to you. When you decide that you want to head in that direction. It’s about being strong and tenacious and determined as absolutely, but also learning to be soft, and to allow others to be of support to you and for you to be of support to them. You know, we all have those doubts and fears that can overrun us and override our thinking and so know that you are capable, and you’re talented, and you’re amazing and brilliant. And even when you don’t think so even when people are criticizing you or judging you. Just quietly remind yourself that you are enough that you are talented, and you’re capable, and you’re brilliant, because the naysayers are always going to be there. But you have to believe in you. Because if you don’t believe in you, then no one else might not believe in you. Right. So take time every day to believe in yourself to trust your self to listen to your intuition. Your intuition knows so much it’s so wise is that wise counsel within you. So listen to that inner voice and allow it to move you forward. And when it gets a little scary when there’s butterflies in your stomach. Now that that’s just you’re pushing against the edge of your comfort zone. And while it might feel foreign, it’s probably the right direction that you’re headed in. Because your soul your spirit always wants you to expand and to learn and to grow. And you’re absolutely capable of doing that. And so set your sights high on what you want to create in your life. And the beautiful world that you want to help build around you and doing work that you love. And the more that you do that, and you take steps every day in that direction, trusting in yourself trusting that you’ll find the answers, trusting that the right people and opportunities and circumstance dancers will present themselves. Because you’re keeping your your eyes open for them, you taking off the blinders and allowing yourself to see more of what’s possible. And moving in that direction. so that you can have the life of your dreams, because you’ve decided that you are enough that you are a joyful, radiant being of light, and that no one can diminish that light only you can. So as you understand this, you can step more and more into your power and your brilliance and your light. Your Lightness of Being each day and more people will recognize that and it creates this amazing positive ripple effect in all directions.
David Ralph [49:49]
Yeah, powerful stuff. powerful stuff. So Michelle, for the listeners out there, what’s the number one best way that they can connect with you?
michele molitor [49:56]
Gosh, they can always find me at my website, nectar consulting in EC t AR consulting. com. And I’ve got a whole boatload of free resources there in the Brain Candy section, you can read more about my work as a coach and therapist. And you can also even book some time with me to have a complimentary discovery call if you’re interested. And you can also of course, find me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, all sorts of great ways to connect with me and happy to have a chat with those who are curious as to how they can rewire their brain and have more what they want in life.
David Ralph [50:34]
Yeah, absolutely. And we’ll have all the links in the show notes to make it as easy as possible to connect with Michelle. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots. And please come back again, when you’ve got more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Michelle, thank you very much.
michele molitor [50:54]
Thank you, David, it’s been a pleasure to be here with you today.
David Ralph [50:59]
Well, Mr. I was in a good place. She’s found her thing she’s worked through her issues. And you know, he she’s she’s lit up inside, and you could see that you could hear it anyway. When I was talking to her, you could just see that she was really loving her work and doing what she does every day. And that’s what I want from all of you guys. I really do you know, just to wake up every morning, I go Yeah, let’s get going. Let’s get going. Let’s put our feet on the floor and crack on and see what we can create and, and have fun in the process. It’s all out there for you. And it’s all through join up dots so if you need help in any regard, just drop us a line, go over to the contact form and we will connect with you about if you if you don’t want any help, then just come back next time and listen to some more shows until you are ready. But um, I will be here and I will speak to you again. See you later. Bye bye. So you’ve listened to the episode of join up dots and you’ve got some ideas going through your head but you don’t know where to turn the more often than not people try to do it on their own. And they go round and round in circles for many years. Until about give up well, you don’t need to because at join up dots we have got a business coaching platform where we will teach you in a very short period of time, how to get your own business up and running, how to do the right market research and basically how to win the game before you even start. If that is of interest to you just come across the join up dots and you can check out our coaching platforms connect with us. And we will drop you a line and tell you a little bit more about the kind of things that we operate and how it can help you I look forward to seeing you online and if you get a podcast or come on your show or be a guest