Mindset Expert Christopher Dedyan Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan joins us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business coaching podcast today.
He is a public speaker, entrepreneur and energy boosting productivity guy which wasn’t the case just a few years ago.
Diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of eight, he was faced with many failures along the way.
Because of his relentless attitude of never giving up, the failures taught him how to succeed.
He attributes a huge part of his success as an entrepreneur to the lessons he learned growing up in the schooling system as a dyslexic.
Stepping away from school he then developed his entrepreneurial skills and communication skills during the five years he built and ran his real estate brokerage company.
During that time, Christopher noticed that he could help his colleagues with self-development by incorporating new rituals and habits in their lives that help them not only in their business but in their personal lives as well.
How The Dots Joined Up For Christopher
As he says “If you’re living the feast or famine lifestyle and you’re always stressed about money, you need to get off that rollercoaster fast.
The lack of structure in your business and unorganized agenda is not only the culprit, but also a symptom of an even greater problem that you must first address, before the rest of these puzzle pieces can fall into place.
But what can you do about this?
The answer lies in mindfulness about everything you do.
The way you do anything is the way you do EVERYTHING.
So, starting with the details of how you wake up, how you fuel yourself, and the intentional actions you bring to your daily routine, you can begin to perform at peak levels.
While most driven entrepreneurs want to skip all the work involved with the details, if you look closely you’ll see that the most successful sales professionals are diligent about consistently following systems that drive results.
So as the old song says “its not what you do, its the way that you do it and that’s what gets results”
SO what is the main mistake that people have when building their businesses, focusing in on everything except the money making activities?
And what would he do differently if he could back and change one or two of the dots that have lead him to where he is today.
So lets bring him onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mindset Expert Mr Christopher Dedeyan
During the show we discussed such deep subjects with
Why most people in life try to get the perfect circle of improvement which is so difficult to achieve and maintain.
Why it so important to keep the goal but change the strategy if life throws a curveball in your direction.
Christopher shares why he is of the belief that creativity comes out of crisis, which certainly has been the case in 2020.
Why its ok to give yourself a break and allow for the focus to come into your life. Dont force the question but just get the answers.
How To Connect With The Mindset Expert
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here– enjoy
Full Transcription Of Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan Interview
Life shouldn’t be hard life should be a fun filled adventure every day. So now start joining up dots tap into your talents, your skills, your God given gifts and tell your boss, you don’t deserve me. I’m out of here. It’s time for you to smash that alarm clock and start getting the dream business and life you full, of course, are dreaming God. Let’s join your host, David Ralph from the back of his garden in the UK, or wherever he might be today with another jam packed episode of the number one hit podcast. Join Up Dots.
David Ralph [0:41]
Yes, good morning to you. Good morning, and welcome to Join Up Dots. Thank you so much for being here. Well, today’s guest on the show is a public speaker and entrepreneur and an energy boosting productivity guy, which wasn’t the case just a few years ago, really, or maybe it was always the case, I don’t know where find out on the show. Diagonal diagnosed with dyslexia, I couldn’t even say it. At the age of eight he was faced with many failures along the way. And because of his relentless attitude of never giving up the failures taught him how to succeed. Now he attributes a huge part of his success as an entrepreneur to the lessons he learned growing up in the schooling system as a dyslexic. stepping away from school, he then developed his entrepreneurial skills and communication skills. During the five years he built and ran his real estate brokerage company. And during that time, he noticed that he could help his colleagues with self development by incorporating new rituals and habits in their lives that help them not only in their business, but in their personal lives as well. As he says, if you’re living the feast, or famine, lifestyle, and you’re always stressed about money, you need to get off that roller coaster fast the lack of structure in your business and an organised agenda is not only the culprit, but also a symptom of an even greater problem that you must first address before the rest of these puzzle pieces can fall into place. I wonder what they are. But what can you do about this? Well, the answer lies in mindfulness about everything you do, the way you do anything, is the way you do everything. So starting with the details of how you wake up how you feel yourself and the intentional actions you bring to your daily routine, you can begin to perform at peak levels, whilst most driven entrepreneurs want to skip all the work involved with the details. If you look closely, you’ll see that the most successful sales professionals are diligent about consistently following systems that drive results. So as the old song says, it’s not what you do, it’s the way that you do it. And that’s what get results. So what is the main mistake that people have when building their businesses focusing in on everything except the money making activities, or not focusing in on themselves? And what would he do differently? If he could go back and change? Why not two of the dots that have led him to where he is today? Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Christopher Dedeyan
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [3:14]
Hey, good morning, David. I am great, even better now after feeling your energy and just listening to that amazing intro. So awesome tablet that first of all, David,
David Ralph [3:24]
by a very much. And it’s funny, actually, because as I was reading that I was kind of reflecting on my own journey, because there was a time a few years ago, but I was I was at a low ebb, my energy was just sapped. And I didn’t spend any time thinking about sleeping, I didn’t think of any time about eating properly, it was just kind of grabbing some cookies and biscuits when I could get through a, I didn’t consider any of that. Because all I was considering was SEO and sales funnels and business and podcasting and marketing and everything that sort of, um, seemed more important at that time. Is that something that you know, everybody has to go through? Are there there are some people that are just more clued up to it than I was?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [4:12]
So I love that question, David. And I don’t think everybody should go through it. This is why we’re talking about what we’re talking about. Now. I feel like once people know, they understand the value of taking care of your body, your mind, your spirituality, your education is so valuable for you to be a successful entrepreneur or anything that you do within your endeavours. So it’s not like one or the other. It’s both together. So once you understand that, that’s when you really have peak performance in every area of your life. So I’m glad that you went through that process and you realise it because there’s a lot of people that go through it and don’t even realise it. So the fact that you’re aware about it and you have this massive clarity of like, Hey, wait a minute, I should be taking care of my body. Hey, wait a minute, I should be eating the proper things. So I can perform as a podcast host as an entrepreneur, as a father, as a son, as whatever you want. So there is that that correlation that’s extremely important to notice. And I’m glad that you did. And hopefully there’s a couple of people that will listen to this and realise, oh, wait a minute, what part of my life Am I not showing up that I should be showing up, because there is the way to do it to really have everything you want, in a perfect balance. And when we talk about balance, it’s not necessarily 5050 balance is what you need at that particular moment within your journey of life. And you decide what that is towards more business, more family time, and so on and so forth.
David Ralph [5:30]
Now, that’s key, isn’t it, but it’s not trying to get a an even segment, or make up a perfect circle. Because I think that’s where we kind of go wrong, when we’re building a business, and we start to realise that we’re, we’re flagging, we try to balance everything off that we will have 25% business time and 25% family time and 25%. And it doesn’t really work like that I focus more now on sleep than I do eating better. But then there might be another time that I spend more time eating better then Ben sleep. Once again, that is something that people try to build into their life and then struggle with an almost perfection of circle where everything has its natural place, but it just kind of work like that. And it can
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [6:21]
it can like you’re spot on when you’re seeing that it’s it’s a question of looking at it as a guideline. Now, what do I mean by this? Let’s say imagine you were talking about eating healthy, maybe waking up at a certain time, or whatever the case is. Now it’s good to have a certain guideline, like for me, I wake up at 4am every single morning. But there are mornings that my schedule doesn’t permit that in itself, depending what time my last meeting finished, or whatever the case is. But if I have that understanding that Oh my God, if I don’t wake up at four, and I’m waking up at five, the next day or whatever, I’m not necessarily failing it’s guidelines. So if there’s a day that, hey, you’re eating, super healthy, let’s call it or you’re, you’re eating a certain thing that you you want to eat the next day, you’re not as much, it doesn’t matter. It’s just a question of awareness. And getting back to that proper guideline, because the reality of the matter is, when we talk about peak performance, it’s not about doing 10 on 10, one day, and then the next day, you’re a one on 10. And then it’s hard to go back up and you’re just swinging up and down in these efforts. No, you have to be consistent at seven on 10 and eight on 10. That’s the way that successful people really go to the next level, it’s about the consistency, it’s about doing the small things repetitively every single day, that’s going to compound over time into major success.
David Ralph [7:31]
So what you’re saying is, it’s mindfulness, it’s awareness, and it’s cutting yourself some slack. So if you have a bad day, because you’ve got to go to an office somewhere, and instead of eating healthily you just grab a McDonald’s at the airport, because you need something to eat. Just be aware of Actually, yeah, I did eat crappy today. Maybe I should focus a bit better the next day?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [7:57]
Yes, well, 100%. Now there are definitely some guidelines that you have to put within that. Because it’s easy as a human being to be like, Okay, today this Okay, I’ll do this again. And then at the end of the day, you realise that, hey, it’s been a week that I’ve been eating, essentially more play food, I call it not even junk food, but like, yeah, some some food that’s a bit more, let’s call it play food. Now, if that happens, and you’re like just pushing it, then you’re not getting the results either. So you have to understand what the framework is, for me, usually I put A to D rule on any habit or ritual that I have, which means imagine, every single day I meditate and there’s two days in a row, I didn’t meditate once again, because my scheduled and permitted the third day, it’s an absolute must. So I won’t lose that habit, and it won’t get replaced by negative one. So the same thing in that example that you just picked up, like, hey, you’re travelling, and today, you don’t have a chance to eat a proper thing. And then you end up eating McDonald’s, like you gave the example. That’s okay. But if you do that every single day, that’s when the problem arises. So you have to be aware, put the proper steps and systems in place that’s going to make you succeed within your goals.
David Ralph [9:00]
Now, what I want to take us away from that, because I’m fascinated about your personal journey, because I’ve been doing this for 10 years now give or take. And there was a time that people kept on saying to me, David, you’ve got to build a speaking career. You’ve got to be out there doing keynote presentations, and I spent years previously doing that kind of thing. So I’ll have our last thing I want to do is that now, for everyone who has been building these careers, suddenly the pandemic comes along, and you’re suddenly not standing on stages everywhere. You’re not travelling, how does that come into your business? How have you managed to transition? So it’s not just a case of Oh, my god for a year, I’m not going to get paid, but you’re actually still bringing income based around your key talents and strengths?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [9:52]
I love that question. Because the reality of matter is, it’s such a base answer that is correlated to everything in life. had to sit down and do mind shift change. It’s all about the money mindset. And what am I mean by this, just like anybody, this whole pandemic hit everybody pretty hard in some way, shape or form some people financially, some people, emotionally, some people, both some people, unfortunately lost some lives like all of this happened. Now in my situation when it comes to my business, in the beginning, when it happened, like you said, I’m a professional speaker, most of my job is going around the world speaking in companies speaking in front of other people doing this doing that, now that when it completely stopped, I had to readjust myself and look at my goals that I had set for 2020. And then I started seeing that, hey, wait a minute, am I going to achieve this? So then from there, I realised, listen, the goal hasn’t changed, the strategy has, once I did that mind shift towards, I just have to find a different strategy, then I was able to redirect my positioning towards, hey, let’s go build a stronger online presence. Let’s go build some content that I could potentially sell on zoom, do some conferences on zoom, let’s go build my coaching side of the business a lot more. So I just have to do that mind shift towards that this is the opportunity that I have, this is what the universe is giving us. Let’s make the best of it. Because the goal hasn’t changed, just a strategy has. So as the second I did that shift, then I started seeing that my business went up. And to be quite honest, in my perspective, within my business, my business literally tripled by doing that shift. So it really depends about how you’re seeing things, how you’re seeing opportunities, and how you’re going ahead with it.
David Ralph [11:26]
So moving forward with the triple, will you go back to as you were or is it going to be a more blended approach,
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [11:35]
blended approach, hybrid 100%. And that’s what like, like I said, like, I’m somebody that believes life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. So this opportunity that gave me in my perspective, I’m like, Hey, give me an opportunity to learn to social game more, it gave me an opportunity to put systems in place, it gave me an opportunity to hire so many more people within my company did on enterprises to help me build this. So now I’m building this solid foundation. So once the doors open up, and I’m going to be less than my physical office, I’m going to be travelling the world probably a lot more with speeches, and so on and so forth, at least have a system in place. So the hybrid is definitely the way to go. And I’m definitely looking forward to that opportunity then in the future.
David Ralph [12:16]
Because I was listening to a podcast the other day, and this guy was talking about how he went on a virtual retreat. And I fought as his co host vault, and how’d you do a virtual retreat, and it was the same, but he would have got going somewhere. But it was all on zoom. So he met certain time connected, he did his breakout sessions. But it was just that he went to his own bed in the evening and slept and then got back online the next morning. And it’s that kind of thinking that you look at it. And you think, actually, the pandemic has been brilliant, because I think so many of us were resting on our laurels. So many of us wasn’t bringing the creativity into our businesses that was waiting there. Just the fact that at the very beginning, as we will remember, all the pop stars were getting up and doing concerts online. And most of them were shocking. And it was just them in their bedroom sitting on a bed with a guitar or something it was really poor. Six months down the line. It’s like they’re performing at Wembley, with virtual backing singers and things going on their creativity has been a big boost to I think all industries, don’t you think?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [13:33]
100%? David, I love that you’re mentioning that. And you know what crisis is, unfortunately, are necessary within life. And what do I mean by that, because the new leaders are going to show up when crisis has happened. new opportunities are going to show up when crisis happened, like you just mentioned, creativity is going to show up when crisis has happened. Let me just give an example. I think this is going to hit home with you and your audience. If you just look at Churchill, your wonderful Prime Minister, he would have never been Prime Minister, my perspective, you probably wouldn’t be prime minister if you guys weren’t going through the Second World War. So because of that crisis, you had an opportunity to come up and be who he became. So there’s always these opportunities that arise when difficult moments come. So you saw the progression, like you said, the artists in the beginning just being on their bed playing the guitar. Now they’re doing these crazy things and bringing it to the next level, right? Like when you come like you said, it’s kind of like they’re in Wembley. So there is this progression, and there is this opening to society? And is this going to kind of twinkle in and go towards and have a hybrid once world goes back to somewhat of a new normal 100%. And it’s only going to make us be better, more creative. And there’s new companies that are getting creative right now that we don’t even know that are going to be changing the world. If you just look at it. One last thing over here as they continue this rent. If you just look at the last major crash in 2008, with what happened in the United States, there’s so many companies that got created after that crash. When you look at Airbnb, if you look at Uber, and so on and so forth, like there’s so many companies that are getting created right now that we don’t even know that they’re getting created, because they’re seeing a need in the marketplace. So there definitely is an importance for everything that’s going on, just like you said, and creativity is definitely spiking up.
David Ralph [15:18]
Thanks. Hey, from Jim Carrey, and we’ll be back with Christopher,
Jim Carrey [15:20]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [15:47]
Now, we hear time and time again. But you’ve got to go for the passion in your life. And I’ve become a bit of a pragmatist, I suppose, with this fact. But I think that people almost try to find the passion first, without finding the obsession, which then builds about the passion. So with your business, Christopher, how much of it do you love? And how much do you actually hate? Because I know I’m about 80%, I love and 20%. I hate of mine, but I accept the 20%? Because I’ve got to do it to get the 80%. What about it in your business?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [16:26]
I love what you just mentioned over there, because there definitely is a dichotomy and to understand that there is a part of your business that you’re going to love. And there’s a part that you’re not going to like as much. But there’s something very important over here. Now, once again, it really depends when people are listening to this where they are within their life journeys. But there’s some people that believe that Oh, the job that they’re going to go into, they’re going to love everything right off the bat. No, you create what you’re going to love in a certain level. And as you go forward within your business endeavours, you’re going to do more and more the tasks that you love, as you get bigger, you’ll be able to delegate the tasks that you don’t like as much, which is actually like when we talk about procrastination, or we talk about the parts of your job that you don’t like, like you mentioned, that’s just talking to you that, hey, that’s not your expertise, or it’s not something you like, you just have to find somebody that likes that, and give them to do that. Because the reality of matter is, it’s not how to do something, it’s who can do it best. So my perspective on the fact that you have to love what you do, and obsession is definitely that like, really find something that you love in some way, shape or form, you have to be obsessed for it. But you have to understand that there is still going to be even though you’re doing something you love, there’s going to be parts within that business, especially if you’re a solopreneur in the beginning, that you’re not going to like as much that are going to be extremely necessary. And for me, you asked kind of the percentage and you gave at 20, I would say I’m not too far about the 8020 as well, sometimes there’s days or 9010. But there is that that aspect that is okay, still a part of the job that I don’t necessarily enjoy as much, but it’s extremely necessary. And what I do and what I strive towards, is having a mission and vision that’s extremely strong and compelling, find people to come work not for me, it’s not about Christopher Dean. And it’s not about debt and enterprises. It’s about the mission and vision, which is to optimise people who want to perform to get them from where they are to where they want to be, because we thoroughly believe the only difference between both of those points is acquiring technology and consistently utilising that knowledge. And how do we do that we do that through coaching programmes, to speaking on stage to consulting for your companies, and so on and so forth. So as I’m able to find people that have the same vision of like, hey, I want to help others, then I just find them in the proper position. And as I do that, my 80 becomes 90. And then if I do even more, my 90 becomes almost 100. So that means I’m only doing the things that I thoroughly am supposed to do. And I’m thoroughly loving within my business and the other stuff. I’m delegating to people that they love doing that.
David Ralph [18:48]
Yeah, but even the stuff you love, when you do it a lot. It becomes a bit, doesn’t it? You know, there’s there’s days that I rock up, and I think yes, I’m gonna be recording podcast episodes today. Brilliant. That’s it. And then there’s other days, I think, Oh my God, oh, I’ve got to talk to 12 people back to back, you just haven’t got the energy. And that’s one of the issues that I kind of have with people. If you look at Join Up Dots back in the early days, there was a lot of dream lifestyles, I used to have an academy called the dream starter Academy, and I had everyone was like a dream. And I realised after a while, even the best dream becomes your normal life and looks a bit flat. And that’s one of the issues that I think people have is that they almost set the bar too high at the beginning. So that when they do achieve it, they look around and go. I think I thought you were supposed to be better than this. This just seems just seems normal.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [19:46]
Okay, I met David there’s so many things we could unpack there. That’s just beautiful because there’s a couple of biases that you mentioned, like limiting beliefs within that first and foremost 100% understand that imagine like you said some of these you wake up and like yeah, That’s cool, I have so many podcasts that I need to do. And then other days, you’re like, Oh, I did like five podcasts that I need to do. And it is something that you love. But it becomes, I guess, a bit repetitive. And it does seem like a job, let’s call it in a certain sense. Now the best thing that we need to do is to take a position not only as an actor of your life, but as a director, you’re looking at it as you’re acting out the processes. But take a step back and look at, Hey, wait a minute, what have I built here? What is the goal? What Why did you actually start this and if you’re able to position herself, in that moment, every single day, that day that you wake up, and you have a little bit less energy, or a bit less willingness to do the podcast, let’s call it, you’re able to reshape your mindset, and reshape your state and your story towards it, which is going to give you the proper strategy, which is doing the podcast at 110%, or to the best of your abilities. So what we’re talking about over here is just being aware of your feelings, appreciating it, accepting it, and then structuring it differently with the proper mindset. Now, that’s one part of the question that we had over here to answer. The second part was, you were kind of mentioning imagine you succeed at a certain level, and you’re like, oh, wait a minute, is that all that there is? And essentially, most of successful entrepreneurs have felt that and sometimes it’s, some people will goals like financial goals, and they’re like, oh, my god that hit that financial goals. That’s exactly what happened to me my brokerage career. Once I hit that financial goal, I was super excited. But then five seconds later, I was like, Hey, what’s next? What, what do I need to go get? And then I realised at that point that I didn’t appreciate the hunt as much as the feast, you have to appreciate the hunt. As much as the feast in itself, then we’re talking about hunting and, and feasting over here, we’re talking about the process. If you’re not appreciating the process of building the podcast of doing the the things or whatever you need to do within the business, then you’re not going to appreciate the goal at the end. So it’s really understanding that it’s a journey. So if you’re able to position yourself within this, even during those downturns, those dark moments, you’re going to be able to reshift your mindset. And I’m not saying that those down moments are not going to happen. It’s completely normal, and good that they happen is that you have to understand what’s happening within that period. And you have to put the proper definition of success for you. Because if I asked you, David, let me kind of put you on the spot here. What would you define for you David being successful? What would that like definition be for you what it is to be successful?
David Ralph [22:26]
100% happiness every day.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [22:29]
Okay, beautiful, 100% happiness every day. Now, David, let me ask you, can you control your happiness every single day?
David Ralph [22:35]
Yeah, I can fake it, I can, I can convince myself I’m happy even when I’m not. And after a few minutes, you start to feel happy.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [22:43]
Okay, beautiful. So 100%. And when you’re talking about faking it, what’s we’re talking about here, we’re talking about the biochemistry of your mind, as you do certain things like power poses, as you hold a smile for more than 60 seconds, your body’s gonna start secreting the proper, like, essentially, energy and the proper, like skills within your brain that’s going to give you the proper motion towards Hey, I’m happy. And that aspect happens in a physiology way. So I love that you can control that. And that’s what you have to look at. When you’re talking about success. It shouldn’t be like, hey, I want to make a million dollars. And I’m not saying that’s not a good goal. That’s a great goal if you want it to make it as a goal, but it shouldn’t be your definition of success. And if we’re permitted, I’ll share my definition of success and kind of get a bit more clear over here for your viewers and your listeners. My level of success is every single day, if I wake up and give my 110% and learn something new, I have succeeded. The reason why I’ve structured that definition is because it’s so binary really low for me to succeed, it’s impossible I fail, because all I have to do is wake up, give it my all every single day and learn something new. Now if I tell you one day wake up, just like we said previously, and I don’t feel it as much. And for that day, I’m just not giving it my 100% I could learn something new from that and still succeed. So my success level is so binary a little bit every single day I succeed. Just like you your level of success is waking up by being happy every single day. And if you feel like there’s a day that’s less present, you know what to do to activate your body in your mind in the proper way. So it can secrete the proper skills that he needs to be happy. Does that make sense?
David Ralph [24:19]
It makes sense, Christopher but I don’t know if I buy what you’re saying here. It’s like coaching textbook. Because I think there’s days where it’s perfectly acceptable. And you should get under a duvet sit there watching Netflix and just being no I don’t want to be driven today. I need to recharge myself. And so having the mindset switch. Yeah, absolutely. When you’re ready for it is brilliant, and I agree with it. 100%. But I think the world out there will say and especially with the pandemic and the mental aspects that we’ve gone through. Sometimes we just go Screw it, I’d really need a few days off. I just I can’t be bothered being perky. I can’t be bothered being motivational. Success can wait, don’t, don’t you think?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [25:11]
Yes, I love what you just said right here and let’s just go I’m gonna I’m gonna go ham right now because I love this aspect I 100% agree with what you’re saying, when we’re talking about, like I said, My goal is to give it my all every single day. But there are days like you just mentioned that you just don’t feel like it. And it’s okay, you shouldn’t run away from it, you shouldn’t feel bad if like, there’s a day like, you know what, I just want to watch Netflix, my mental state of mind is off, maybe there’s something negative that happened or whatever the cases where the issue lies is when that happens, people are not aware of it. And they don’t put us distinctive time to be in that emotional state. Right. That’s where the issue is. So imagine you’re like, Hey, you know what, today, I want to be watching Netflix the whole day, beautiful. So you set your time, like, you know what today is going to be the whole day doing this. And then you don’t feel bad about it. Because there’s a lot of people that do that. And then they feel bad. And I’m not even enjoying the process in itself of watching Netflix. Now the problem is, if next day you do the same thing, and next day, you do the same thing or whatever timeframe, it doesn’t have to be one day, it could be a week or whatever. It’s once you pass that timeframe, and that becomes your normality, and you don’t notice it. But as a human being, it’s completely normal. It’s not only normal, it’s good. You can always be at that top 100%. No, there’s ups and downs, you have to appreciate it. Because those downs are extremely important for the UPS as well. All you have to do is put a distinctive time for it. And understand when that time is done, then you go back to what your goal is, what your ambition is, and so on and so forth. Does that make a bit more sense? Is that more like on the same?
David Ralph [26:36]
Yeah, I agree with that. Because I don’t watch TV at all, really. But every now and again, once in a blue moon, I will wake up and I say to my wife, I’m just gonna watch a film, I’m gonna watch a bill. And normally, by the time I get about 40 minutes in it, I realised that actually, I don’t want to watch the film. I just wanted to give myself permission to watch the film, and not be hustling and working. And I will turn it off, and I’m ready to go again. But it’s just that that sometimes, as we said in the intro, introduction, you’re on the roller coaster, and you’re not willing to get off. But by giving yourself the permission to get off. Actually, you gain more momentum in your life because you’re in control of the peaks and the troughs. But I see time and time again out there, especially on the show. You get people turn up and they play the Superman card for every day. They’re at 110% every day. We’re doing this every day they’re doing that. And to be honest, Christopher, I’ve got to the point now, but I think I don’t believe you. I really don’t believe you.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [27:42]
I love it. I love David, I love it. I kid you not. I love what you’re doing. I love the pushback, because you’re absolutely right. We’re not going to sit here and lie that like hey, every single day you’re at 110. No, that’s impossible. It’s beautiful. The fact that we’re not that’s what human beings are. But if you’re there 80% of the time or 70% of the time or wherever you’re at in 70 years, then you’re winning. It’s about the consistency. So it’s normal to get those down moments. And you just mentioned something that’s extremely important that you said, You know what, sometimes just taking that step back gets me certain answers. And to do so let me just tell you a little story over here. If we look at Albert Einstein, there was moments that he was doing his research in the middle was reaches used to just get up and leave. And the people that he was doing the research with were like, Yo, what are you doing, we have to find this information. He’s like, no, jet, Isaac, I need to leave gets out and starts playing the violin. And once he’s playing the violin, he gets that answer. And he gets he goes back to it. Now the reason why it does that is because the subconscious mind works best when the conscious mind is not at work. So sometimes you need to take a step back, go watch that movie, play sports, whatever the case is, because your subconscious mind just needs room to find the solution. So there is 100% value on taking vacation, taking a step back, taking a day off, and so on and so forth. 100% agree with you.
David Ralph [28:58]
I see if I’m Oprah, the way
Oprah Winfrey [29:00]
through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this. What is the next right move. And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [29:31]
Now, I want you to play that because it cements quite nicely what we’re talking about. And I think this is a real powerful statement that we’re making it Christopher, the fact that there’s going to be things in your life and your business but you don’t like you’ve got to kind of accept it and play to your strengths. There’s also going to be times when your body won’t accept it. So you’ve got to listen to your body and actually say, I don’t feel like it today. I’m going to give myself permission But not too much permission. If you’re still sitting on the sofa in three weeks time, watching Netflix, you’ve done something wrong, but just give yourself the time to go. I’m giving myself a breather. And while I want you to play Oprah, she talked about space. She talked about giving yourself space to allow the answers to come. And that has always occurred, with quietness, it’s always occurred in the bath people have, you know, eureka moments when they’re just on their own. And that’s one of the things I think we started to touch in on when the pandemic hit. But everything was at peak performance all the time. And then suddenly, people were sitting in their gardens thinking, what should I do, and they realise that actually, the creativity came back into us. So it is about space, isn’t it more than anything, this conversation is about finding the space to allow things to naturally occur, instead of forcing them
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [30:59]
100% spot on, I love the fact that you just put that Oprah clip because like you said, it just compounded everything we’re talking about. It’s about being aware, first of all, massive awareness. Once that massive awareness is there, then understanding what it is and then allowing yourself to live that moment, good, bad, negative, positive, whatever it is, as long as you don’t attach yourself to the lows, and you don’t attach yourself to the highs, and you control your emotions in some way that you’re not just picking up and down, then you’re going to really succeed in life. That’s what it is, is this massive awareness and controlling yourself not to be attached to the highs and not to be attached to the lows, because the reality of the matter is, everything is fleeting, everything will change. It’s just normal. That’s what life is, you might be going through a winter season in your life right now. But I guarantee you after winter, spring comes and then summer comes, the only difference between your life seasons and the seasons that’s outside right now that you’re looking is that outside, we could predict when the season is going to end towards in your life, you don’t know when it’s going to end. But I guarantee you if you’re going through a difficult period right now, positivity is going to come afterwards, summers coming. And if you’re going through summer, there’s some difficulties that are gonna come, it’s just inevitable. But if you don’t attach to the ups and downs, then you’ll succeed with great control.
David Ralph [32:12]
I can honestly say over 2000 episodes, I’ve connected really closely with some people on the show. And some people came and they went, I’ve never spoken to him again. But the ones that have connected with me, I could probably go back into my emails and find an email that says, oh, everything’s crap, it’s all going bad. I need your help, what can I do? And then six months later, everything’s going gangbusters. It’s brilliant. Everything’s going fantastic. And it’s funny when you look back at these because I sometimes send them back to my friends and go, do you remember saying this when he was getting your knickers in a twist and everything was was a nightmare for you look where it is now. And most of the time, it all came down to the fact that they allow things to happen. And that seasons changed, like you say, and a conversation can lead to something else. Instead of that push, push, push, which is one of the things that I would like to see changing. I’m gonna ask you this, because I don’t know, there was a time online was all about hustle, everything was about hustle. And you’ve got to be everywhere. And everything was about driving forward. Certainly from my point of view, because I’ve closed down a lot of the avenues I used to look at. It doesn’t seem to be that way anymore. Do you think Christopher Do you think there’s an awareness, but actually, business and success isn’t forced? It almost comes to you by your consistent effort.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [33:45]
100% 100% Dave and I 100% agree. I think there definitely was a spike in entrepreneurship, towards how just entrepreneurs became almost mainstream with social media. And there’s like some importance. And that’s beautiful, because it brought a lot of eyes towards it. But then there was a lot of people that thought that they were entrepreneurs that never should have been. Maybe they misunderstood what really entrepreneurship is, like you said through the hustle mentality, there’s parts in your life that you should hustle, but there’s parts of your life that you should, you know, take a step back and enjoy what’s happening. So there definitely is a correlation towards both of them and having that perfect balance in some way. Like I said, imbalance is not 5050 like I mentioned the beginning. It’s whatever you make of it. So I definitely do see that there is an importance on that end. And I do agree that it has shifted towards before everything everybody was to put hustle everywhere else everywhere. But that’s not that’s just a part of it. It’s not all of it. And if you look at like, for me, let me drop a name over here. Like if the the grandfather of a hustle in our modern age would be probably Gary Vaynerchuk. And if you go listen to his content now he’s always said he’s like, Hey, I’m not against sleeping. I sleep eight hours a week and a week, sorry a day and so on and so forth. But he’s like hustling is the moment that you should hustle. It’s just being intentional in that moment. So when you shouldn’t be working, working When you shouldn’t be with your family, be with your family, when you’re on a date, beyond your date, don’t look at your phone or whatever the case is just being highly intentional about that particular activity. And then once you’re within that activity, then you’re going to succeed at high levels. That’s what my perception of hustle is, is just being in that moment and doing what you’re supposed to do in that moment, and not trying to be 1000 places at once. Because you’re just missing that opportunity, that present moment,
David Ralph [35:24]
I’m very aware of at the moment, I’ve gone through a lifestyle change. And I’ve become very aware of the domino effect, where basically you do it less and less and less, but you heighten your awareness of the moment that something comes towards you. And you think that’s it. That’s what I’m going to do. And you press that and it knocks down the dominoes. Now this this wasn’t a new idea. This was something that I heard one or two people mention. And Tim Ferriss, the four hour workweek guy emphasised this on a podcast, when he said, literally, my day is so boring, my week is so boring, because I allow myself to really be focused on what is needed in my business with the minimum effort. And by pressing that one Domino, you know, we’ve all seen them when a whole room gets knocked down, and flags are going up and rockets shooting up into the sky, just by that. And once again, are you aware of the domino in your business? Or are you still looking around thinking? Like most entrepreneurs, I’m kind of making it up as I go along here.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [36:33]
I love that question. Right now, if you ask me right now in my business 100%, I’m aware of the dominoes that I need to be aware of. And that’s what my perception, there’s probably other dominoes that I should be aware of, that I’m not even aware of right now, which is ignorance. But that’s what it is. Like, I can’t be aware of the dominoes that I don’t know until I find them. So there was moments in my life for sure, as a young entrepreneur, that I weren’t aware of those dominoes that was going on, but everywhere else. Now I’m highly aware of the dominoes in we’re talking about like analogy of dominoes over here. And that comes through time and, and awareness. And once you’re aware of it, not only I’m aware of it, I kind of correlated to chess, I don’t know if you play chess, David, I love playing chess. And if you look at like an amateur player, they know probably the next move they’re going to do if you look at masters and grandmasters they know like the next eight to 10 moves that they’re going to do. But they can do move eight before doing move one. So I know what are the steps within my business that need to be done to bring it to the next level. But I can’t do that number, step number 10 until I do number one, then two, then three, and so on and so forth. Because there’s a progression. And that comes only through times is that the way I would kind of answer my domino effect. And on your end, David, do you know what the dominoes are, and you know where like where you’re going with with that aspect?
David Ralph [37:46]
I do now that there was a time that literally, I was treading water. And I was just thinking, you know, I know, I want something more than what I’m doing. But I didn’t have the connections, I didn’t have it, the dots weren’t joining up, they were scattered everywhere. And now, you know, with Join Up Dots being totally transparent. I always wanted a sort of avenue that was totally business driven to help people start building income in and freeing up themselves from the daily grind, or even just helping to pay the mortgage each month or something just to make their life easier. But I also through that I realised that you can’t get that without the mindset. And mindset has to come with the health aspect. And I couldn’t see how to get all the avenues. clearly defined without being a complete mess. Now I can and I’m working towards that. So Join Up Dots will be the that the five temples that build success, and you need each of them to connect up to help you move forward, I’ve got three of them that I’m working towards. And the other two, I still haven’t got a clue, but I just trust that by keep on doing it, things will connect somehow the dots will join up.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [39:06]
I love that, David. And as you kind of mentioned the dots, I’m thinking about Steve Jobs right in this famous just speech that he gave, he’s like, Hey, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. But trust that the dots that you’re living through right now in life have a purpose. You have to go through it and it’s okay that you don’t necessarily know as long as you’re asking yourself the right questions. Like there was a time like you just mentioned in your business would Join Up Dots. Like you did not know what necessarily need to do but you’re asking yourself the right questions. You met the right people, you figured out what it was. And that’s everybody. Same thing with me. In the beginning of my speaking career. I’m like I knew that I was going to be speaker but if you tell me what I was going to speak about, I had no idea. It there was this process. There was this time there was this friction there was this me getting charged within my coaches, my mentors until I really figured out Hey, this is my niche. This is what I love talking about this is who I am, but that only happens to time but as long as you’re Asking yourself the right questions or not what, but how to get it or what I could develop to find those things, then the answer is going to come and not only is going to come, it’s already been there, your whole life is just more clear in front of you.
David Ralph [40:12]
Well, you paraphrased him, but let’s hear him again, Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [40:16]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, you have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [40:51]
Now, something you said earlier that you think that some people shouldn’t be entrepreneurs, and I will ask you what your definition of an entrepreneur is. But I’ve realised over many, many years that I’ve been an entrepreneur is somebody that is in a really hot shower, where every now and again, they can see through the glass, and then it missed up again. And they’re just willing to keep on wiping to get a little bit more clarity until the sort of pitcher joins up. It’s an entrepreneur is somebody that’s willing to move forward without all the answers, which Steve Jobs says, what do you think is the true definition of an entrepreneur?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [41:33]
I love that, that analogy that you gave, and I would add upon when you’re in the shower and trying to figure out the fog situation, sometimes there’s cold water that hits and you’re not even expecting it. And that’s what an entrepreneur is, right? So I 100% agree with that. And when it comes to entrepreneur, for me, it’s somebody that is creating a product or a service in the marketplace that is bringing bringing massive value and highlight the word value, it’s about bringing value, we just listened to Steve Jobs, how much value that that man bring into this world. Think about it, like without everything you created, podcast wouldn’t be what it is, it wouldn’t exist. Think about all these great people, if we’re like looking at them as entrepreneurs, there are people that brought major value Elon Musk, so on and so forth, you know, Richard Branson, it’s bringing value. So for me, an entrepreneur is somebody that’s bringing a product or a service into the market that brings massive value and value could be big, could be small, could be this could be that, but you’re still bringing a certain value. So that’s the way I would define entrepreneur added to your analogy that once you are an entrepreneur, get ready because there’s ups downs less right at every single moment. And if you’re a real entrepreneur, you kind of love that, at a certain sense, you know, you kind of appreciate those moments as well,
David Ralph [42:49]
as I hate the word because I think it stops so many people, were actually all you’re doing is finding value. And I always say to people, you know, I remember distinctly realising that I was earning 15 pounds a month, which was paying for a phone. And I looked at it, and I suddenly realised that my first business was bringing in 15 pounds a month, which was hardly anything at all. And I was getting a free phone, somebody else was paying for that phone. And then it went to like 1000 pounds a month. And he went to other things. But it was that small value. And once again, by joining up the dots of your lifestyle and saying I need X amount for my gas and electricity, I need X amount of bass, I need X amount of that. And then thinking, what value can I find to pay for that one bill? What value can I provide to the world to pay for my mortgage or whatever. I think so many people take the badge of entrepreneur and think I’ve got to create this multinational company. But I just think you set out to make your life easier, and the story and if somebody is paying your bills for you, then that’s got to put you in a better position
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [44:05]
100% 100% because the main thing I just mentioned over there is value. If you want to get somebody to pay your cell phone bill, your mortgage, your this, that and the other The only way you’re gonna get that is if you bring value, you bring value, you’re gonna get income back, it’s really what it is. You’re not making money you’re earning it normally do I make money or the government that the printed, that’s the only people so you have to earn it and to earn it, you have to bring massive value. So I do agree with what you’re saying. It’s all about the main thing is bringing value in itself.
David Ralph [44:34]
So should we change the name entrepreneur to value spotter?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [44:39]
Hero value printer? Yes. Something like that. Exactly. That’s what it is. You’re spotting a trend in the market and they’re trying to bring value. Some people succeed. Some people don’t some people are surprised I would succeed and some people you would think something succeeds. And then you look at the market. They’re like, Nah, we don’t need this. So yeah, it’s 100% bringing value in the marketplace
David Ralph [44:58]
because I have started a new business this week, which is electric charging points for electric cars. And I was talking to somebody, I thought I can’t do it myself. But I know where the traffic is. And I know how to bring it into a business. And so I mentioned to my brother, he’s an electrician, he’s getting trained up, and boom, we’re, you know, we’re running away with it already. But it was one of those things that I didn’t have all the dots joined up, I couldn’t personally do it. But I could just see the value. And I think most people out there should be able to do that. But they don’t I have conversations with people. And I say to them, have you thought about this, and I go, Oh, my God, I was only talking to my mate the other day, but I didn’t think of it as an opportunity. It was just a trend. You know, it was something that was out there that was pricking my attention. It is something you train yourself to see don’t do before anything else, you’ve got to start training yourself.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [45:57]
100%. And the training comes through personal development, read a book, go to seminars, listen to awesome podcast, go check out YouTube channels, whatever the case is, as you get yourself in this proper mindset, people that think the same, there’s the same type of vocabulary that they’re pushing yourself to grow, you’re pushing yourself to get out of your comfort zone and grow, then the answers will come, then you will see things differently. Like you said, you’ll be living in the same place. But you’ll see things differently, your glasses have changed. So 100%, it’s about being aware of those opportunities. And how you’re going to be aware of that is by changing your mindset and feeding yourself the proper information that you need to go to the next level essentially.
David Ralph [46:35]
So before we say goodbye to you on the show and send you on the journey to speak to your younger self on the Sermon on the mic. What level are you are at a moment. So if we scored your ideal business, one to 10, one being, you’re sitting in your underpants on your bed thinking I’d like to start something? And 10 is this is this is beyond anything I could have imagined. whereabouts are you?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [47:00]
That’s a great question. It’s a great question. It is a bit tough to to give it like a grade in itself. Because the reality of matter is, it’s always fleeting, it’s always changing. But um, like, if you look at like, what I’m proud and what I’ve created, I’m definitely at eight on 10, if not more, if we’re talking about how I’m bringing value. Now, does that mean it’s done? No, there’s still so much more to go get, there’s still so much more people I need to support within my company, there’s still so much more entrepreneurs that I need to bring to next level with my coaching programmes and my speaking gigs or my content on YouTube, and so on and so forth. So yeah, I’m extremely proud of where I’m at. I love where the direction of my company is going. But I know there’s so much more work. So yeah, that’s what that answer would be.
David Ralph [47:42]
It was a bad question to ask. Because, unfortunately, when you build something, it’s never finished, isn’t it? It just gets bigger. And so back 10 is always Berber away. You know, if you’d asked me 10 years ago, where my business was, I would say a five. And now even though I earn a very good living from it, and it provides everything for me and my family and everybody else, I’d still say a five, because my my focus my belief, my mountain has just got bigger than the first one that I was travelling up.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [48:19]
That’s exactly it. It’s it’s never like I said, it’s never about the feast. It’s about the journey. If you’re truly enjoying what you’re doing, you truly see that you’re bringing value to the marketplace, you’re truly see that, oh my god, this podcast and everything that I build is so for providing for my family. That’s what the journey is. And that’s what you enjoy. Now, that doesn’t mean you’re going to sit down and you’re done. Like, no, there’s still work to be done. There’s still value to be done until you decide that, hey, I’ve done what I need to do to get on to the next generation. That’s okay, as well. So yeah, 100% You’re absolutely right. It’s about the journey and being aware of it. So even though five years ago, you would say you’re a five. And now once again, X amount of years later, you’re succeeding even more your slot five, because it’s the journey, they’re just another step. And that’s what you truly love. Well, this
David Ralph [49:01]
is a journey that I knew was going to happen because it happens on every podcast I do. And this is the part of the show. We called a sermon on the mic when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Christopher, what age would you choose and what advice would you love to give him? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the music and when it fades, it’s your time to talk. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [49:35]
With the best bit of the show.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [49:51]
I love that question. At the same time I’m kinda having a struggle with it because the reality is, at any point in my life, I returned back to it and try to give the knowledge that I have now to the younger self of my version, I wouldn’t want to give it because everything that I’ve lived through everything that I’ve gone through success failures has gotten me to the point that I am right now. And all of that was important within that moment. So even if I tell them, Hey, don’t do this, don’t do that it would change who I am. So the reality of matter is, it would just be just be aware of where you are within your life right now. And there’s a reason for it. Because right now, me speaking at early 30s, I’m speaking a certain way, when I’m going to be my 40s. I’m gonna look back at where I’m at now and be like, oh, wow, I was speaking differently than when I’m in my 40s. But it’s a normal progression. So honestly, I would just say, stay the course. Do what you’re doing. The struggles, the successes are extremely necessary, because they’re creating you towards something else. So just do you keep on pushing. That’s what I would essentially tell myself, just do what you’re doing. You’re doing it right. living a life of gratitude like you’re doing, and everything else is kind of going to teach you along the way.
David Ralph [50:56]
Yeah, the dots will join up, as we say. So Christopher, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [51:03]
Yes, absolutely. David. So I mean, you could find me on all social platforms at Christopher get in the best place to go see my content and really get an inside look within how I do my things with my YouTube channel. So go check out my YouTube channel at Christopher Darian. Darien is d d, y n. And if you do want any speaking or coaching, consulting, go check out my website, Christopher didion.com, slash coaching or speaking, just go on the website. And then my team will connect with you guys and see how we can support you to go to the next level,
David Ralph [51:34]
we will have over links on the show notes to make it as easy as possible to connect with Christopher. Christopher, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you’ve got more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our pasts is the best way to build our futures. Christopher, thank you so much.
Mindset Expert Christopher Dedeyan [51:55]
Thank you, David. This was a joy.
David Ralph [51:59]
So a wide ranging discussion was had by myself and Mindset Expert Christopher. And it is it’s, it’s interesting, you get people on the show, just like Christopher, and they know how to do it. They know how to reset their mind. But it doesn’t mean you got to do it all the time. And I think it’s wrong to do it all the time. And I think it’s right to just mope for a little bit. But what I loved about what Christopher was saying is, yeah, do that, but set a timer on it go Yeah, okay, I’m gonna give myself two days off, I’m not going to turn on my computer, I’m not going to look at any emails or whatever I’m just going to be. But when two days comes back, I’ve got to do it, it’s setting the store down. And I like that because I kept on working to a month on and a month off, and I found I was getting bored in the month off. And then I was doing loads of sort of different things. I think just doing it when you need to, is better than actually setting it out into your schedule. Because sometimes you don’t need it. And you you know, you don’t need a vacation. You don’t need time off, you feel perfectly all right. Just do it when it’s, it seems right to you. And then give yourself a bit of a breather, and then go again. Thank you so much. For everybody who listens, anybody who’s new to the show, we’d love you to subscribe rate and review. That’s where all the professional podcasters say I don’t already have a Sabre or just drop us an email and say how you found the show what we can do to help you because that’s what we’re here for Join Up firstname.lastname@example.org you can come over to Join Up dots.com and just click any of the contact pages and then you’ll find a way through to us again, but until next time, my friends. I’ll see you again. Cheers. Bye bye.
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