Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Monick Halm
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Introducing Monick Halm
Todays guest, joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview is Monick Halm.
She is a lady is someone who quite readily admits she spent over a decade stuck in the wrong career.
But on a show like Join Up Dots we confirm time and time again, that although it may seem like wasted time, no experience is ever wasted.
After a life threatening experience, Monick Halm left her corporate litigator and mediator roll, and began a quest to study all ways to live a thriving happy life.
It started as a personal task, but ended up as a personal mission and a career.
How The Dots Joined Up For Monick
As the founder of and teacher at the Life Alchemy School, career and life coach, angel intuitive, author.
Speaker, teacher, Feng Shui expert, and Reiki Master, Monick Halm now works with clients and students all over the world.
She loves to help them take a holistic approach to uncovering their dreams, pursuing their passions, and finding true balance.
The question is with three kids how does she pack that all in to her day?
Why did it take an illness to finally make Monick leave the job that was not what she wanted to be?
And has she found the true path to happiness that we are all seeking?
Well let’s bring onto the show to start joining up dots, as we discuss the words of Steve Jobs with the one and only Monick Halm
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Monick Halm such as:
How she never gets fed up looking out her window and seeing the ionic Hollywood sign from her home!
How when she went to University she had no idea what she wanted to be so ended up training to be a lawyer!
How stomach pains which she kept on ignoring at Law School were her bodies way of saying “Get out of here”!
How you must find people to surround yourself who will make you grow and be encouraging to your dreams
How when she was signed of for 30 days with an appendicitis she thought “Great I don’t have to go to work for awhile”!
How the path to your life is always found within your heart and not your head!
How To Connect With Monick Halm
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Monick Halm
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello there. How are we all? How are we all I am having a rocking and rolling time today? Because it’s still sunny the 27th of July. We’re having an amazing summer. And everything is good in Join Up Dots world and why can’t it be even better? Because it is going to get better because we’ve got a guest, who is someone who is perfect for Join Up Dots. I was speaking to her just before we started recording, and I said really, you would have been my target audience maybe 1015 years ago, so let’s find out why. She’s someone who quite readily admits that she spent over a decade stuck in the wrong career. On a show like Join Up Dots we confirm time and time again that although it may seem like wasted time, no experience is truly wasted. After a life threatening experience. She left a corporate litigator and mediator role and began a quest to study always to live a thriving happy life. It started as a personal task but ended up as a personal mission and a career as the founder of and teacher at the life alchemy school, a career and life coach, Angel, intuitive author, speaker, teacher, feng shui expert and Reiki Master, She now works with clients and students all over the world to help them take a holistic approach. So uncovering their dreams, pursuing their passions and finding true balance, as I say perfect for Join Up Dots. The question is, though, with three kids, how does she pack that all into a day? And why did you take an illness to finally make her leave the job that was not what she wanted to do? And how she found the truth, happiness that we’re all seeking. But let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start Join Up Dots, the one and only Monique harm? How are you, Monique?
Monick Halm [2:09]
I’m great. David, thank you so much for having me on.
David Ralph [2:12]
It’s absolute delight. I like nothing more than a few American ladies in my life. And I seem to be spending a lot of time with the Americans at the moment. I don’t know why are you all big into sort of podcast and self help and development kind of things?
Monick Halm [2:27]
I don’t know. Maybe we are?
David Ralph [2:30]
Well, it certainly seems to be the case. So it’s absolutely lovely to have you on. So can I just spend a little bit of time sort of getting to know you so personally? So you’ve got three kids? In California?
Monick Halm [2:43]
David Ralph [2:44]
Okay. And is it a sort of the hub of Los Angeles for our sort of guests who haven’t been to LA? Is it sort of the Hollywood sign and sort of Beverly Hills and all that kind of area? Obviously, the suburbs that you live in?
Monick Halm [2:59]
I can see the Hollywood would sign from my house. So I’m in the thick of it.
David Ralph [3:05]
Yes. So do you actually look up there and go back is iconic, and I can see it from my my bedroom always. It’s something that now you’ve seen it so many times. It’s so blows into one?
Monick Halm [3:17]
No, you know what, I still get a thrill every time I see it. And I just, it’s so cool to be able to just look out the window and see the Hollywood sign. I love it. Do you?
David Ralph [3:31]
Do you ever go up to the hills and sort of run around? Because it’s my honour sort of crest, isn’t it? And you can sort of jog around the top and keep it up there?
Monick Halm [3:39]
You can I was actually hiking there today with my one of my best friends just this morning. So I do that often?
David Ralph [3:47]
And what is it that it gives you that that ability of freedom? Or is it just the the fitness, you know, when you’re up there and you’re looking down over la you must it must be it must be invigorating for so many different reasons. But what does it actually give you?
Monick Halm [4:04]
Well, it is invigorating for so many different reasons. But first, I I love to combine friend time with hiking or walking along the beach. So whenever I can, just as you were saying I do a lot of things and I have three kids. So terms of multitasking, I try to join up friends with exercise whenever possible. And and so this quality time, I just love that ability to go into the hills in nature with my friends catch up with them. And the fact that I’m surrounded by this beautiful scenery just makes it that much better.
David Ralph [4:51]
Have you ever seen a mountain lion?
Monick Halm [4:55]
I have seen coyotes there haven’t seen a mountain lion cuz cuz
David Ralph [4:59]
you get up don’t need up to running a mountain.
Monick Halm [5:02]
Yeah, we do not. mountain lions are a little rare. But we have a bunch of coyotes. And I’ve seen deer and all sorts of
David Ralph [5:12]
all sorts of fun things up there. And a lot of ladies have had too much plastic surgery. I bet you
Monick Halm [5:18]
not me. Yeah, I can say it.
But I will bury part of the well. My son is an actor. And he’s actually in a movie that’s just come out called Earth to echo. And he stars in that. And so because he’s 15. And that’s his. That’s his career. And as a 15 year old parents need to be around all the time, that has become our life a little bit. So we’re really in the Hollywood thick of things a bit through him.
David Ralph [5:56]
So who have you seen Drop, drop some names make it all better. So
Monick Halm [6:00]
who will be seeing Well,
at his lot of people, he’s worked with James Franco. He’s He’s done a couple movies with him. And he’s, we’ve also seen just at his premiere is Bradley Cooper. trying to think of terms of people that we’ve had more than just with passing we see and but you know, you see people in different roles all the time, it’s sort of funny, being in the gym, and seeing somebody or at the grocery store and Dane Lynch’s in front of you in line. So there are a lot there are lots of lots of celebrity sightings, I guess,
David Ralph [6:50]
more more than a coyote in and a mountain lion imagine.
Monick Halm [6:56]
Yeah, I’ve seen more celebrities and coyotes.
David Ralph [6:59]
Probably a good thing. So So let’s start getting into the nitty gritty of it. Because as I was saying in the introduction, your your life is really a key. You know, it’s key to the Join Up Dots, ethos, really, because you did spend so much of your earlier life in a job that really didn’t fulfil you. Now, you’re not alone. So many people have done that. I’ve done that as well. But was it a path that was expected of you? Or was it a path that you took? Because it was a family path? Or was it just for the money? Why did you originally go into the litigator in the sort of legal role.
Monick Halm [7:37]
You know, I was always a really good student growing up and growing up, I and I would, I had this very set path I wanted to I wanted to be successful, and I had a very narrow idea of what success was. So in my family and in my worldview, being successful, Matt being a doctor, or lawyer, or an engineer, or possibly a professor, but that was, that was pretty much the, the gamut of what success could be. And so I went to a good university and was trying to figure out, Okay, what am I going to do, I actually started off on the medical medical path, I was going to be a doctor. And I didn’t like my science classes that much I became an art. I was an English major and communications. And I was doing debate and I thought, Okay, well, I’m an English major, I don’t want to be an English professor, I guess I’ll be a lawyer. And because that was, that was the only option that felt like it was realistic for me. And I did very well on my house sad, and I got into a great law school. But as soon as I got into law school, I knew there was a part of me that knew that this was not the right thing for me. I remember my first semester of school, I started having these horrible stomach pains. And I went to the clinic at school and the doctor examined me and asked me some questions. And after a moment, he said, Okay, well, sounds like you’re suffering from law school. So what is it stress you as a man called irritable bowel syndrome? It’s it’s basically a stress that I give you pills, but or some drugs that I think what you should focus on first is trying to be more relaxed and, and deal with the stress. So I started doing yoga and, and that helped. But those in that the stomach aches got better, but it was still there. But that was my body telling me you’re not on the right path.
David Ralph [9:59]
So So when cool that started a bit, I want to jump in on you kind of knew that it wasn’t the path as soon as you got there. It was it was pretty early days.
Monick Halm [10:08]
Yeah, it was a couple months in. But at this point, I mean, I didn’t, I didn’t invested a lot already money wise. Law School in the states is not cheap. And, and I had a lot of my identity invested in it. You know, I was going to win one of the top law schools in the country, Columbia, and in other my family was proud of me. And I was also telling myself, okay, well, I don’t love law school. But I’m sure I’ll love being you know, being a lawyer will be better. So I was able to convince myself, you know, this is just temporary. It’s just three years. And then, you know, nobody likes law school. Law School is not supposed to be fun. And then, but when I’m actually a lawyer, it’ll be a lot better. So that’s how I convinced myself to just stay the course.
David Ralph [11:06]
Well, but was it more than a bit of parental pressure, ie, you, all of us want to make our parents proud. Don’t wait. And all of us want to do things that the parents will look at and go, that’s my daughter. She’s a lawyer, she’s doing great stuff. Was Was there any of that kind of vibe going on with your mom and dad?
Monick Halm [11:25]
You know, what’s funny, my, my parents especially my mom was very disappointed that I didn’t want to be a doctor. So that was being a lawyer was sort of my rebellious, my rebellious. There’s a lot of doctors in my family. And she had all of her in my uncle’s lot of them are doctors, she had all my uncle’s calling me saying you can take my practice when I retire. You can. But I don’t like science. They don’t really enjoy this, the subject matter. And they relented, but so I wasn’t necessarily getting pressured to be a lawyer, though there was always this unstated the unstated pressure that I would go get through university and grad school and I wouldn’t be professionally successful within that narrow window of what you know what that means.
David Ralph [12:25]
So what your mom was doing, really, she was saying, there’s an environment that I’m comfortable with, because I’ve been around it for a long time, by you going off and going into a similar environment. Ultimately, I’m protecting you because I know it’s all right already. Because so many people that I love and I care for have come out the upper end and are doing very well for myself. So it was a kind of protection thing that she wanted, wasn’t it?
Monick Halm [12:51]
Yeah, yeah. And and I think also part of our said, I never actually saw you being a lawyer. I thought you’d be happier as a doctor. And perhaps I would have been the one happiest right now to what I do. Because
David Ralph [13:06]
I could be a doctor till could you really seeing all those bits and bobs all the time? Never want lunch? I’d leave me at home every day.
Monick Halm [13:18]
Yeah, I’m not sure what.
David Ralph [13:24]
So he to have these programmes on telly called embarrassing bodies where people have got something dreadfully wrong with him. And so embarrassing. They go on telly to show it to a doctor live on air. Do you have these programmes?
Monick Halm [13:37]
I don’t think so. It’s possible we do. But I watch so little TV, but I wouldn’t even know if it did. It’s like,
David Ralph [13:46]
it’s the one thing that would put you off the adopter for life. Honestly, these these people come up with these huge boulders and things like that. And they say, Why haven’t you had anything done about this? And they go, Oh, I’ve been too embarrassed to go to the doctors. You on telly. You on telly showing it to everyone. What are you doing? You mad person? And my wife is obsessed by these programmes. She loves seeing these horrible things showing all the time.
Unknown Speaker [14:13]
That’s so funny. Maybe she should be a doctor.
David Ralph [14:17]
I reckon she’d love it. Yeah, she, she’s always got something wrong with her. I shouldn’t say that. Really. She She might listen to this. So. So you’ve done your path. And you decided that it wasn’t for you, the doctor said to you, your stomach aches and your pain and all that kind of stress. But you still persevered? You didn’t sort of say, right, okay, I’m gonna change direction. At that point. What What made you carry on when, as you say, your body was already giving you the signals that your path wasn’t mine?
Monick Halm [14:47]
Well, um, first, the yoga actually did help. And I started doing a lot of yoga. And I was able to relax on and I wasn’t getting stomach aches. And, and I like I said, I convinced myself that this was just this was a means to an end, and I wasn’t going to be a law student the rest of my life, I was going to be a lawyer. And that would be different. So I was able to convince myself that this was just a temporary bit. And I could, I could persevere through these three years. And, and on, you know, and also I was meeting incredible people, my classmates were really interesting and fascinating as when my professors and I had some wonderful experiences as part of law school, I went and I did a semesters in six months in Japan studying and I worked there. And I spent a summer in South Africa working for public interest law firm. So I did do some really interesting things. So it wasn’t all bad. But even though I definitely got a message, my intuition was telling me, this may not be your highest path, but I made the best of it.
David Ralph [16:03]
If you if you went back in time, now, would you do the same thing? Or would you just go right, I’m getting out getting out as soon as possible.
Monick Halm [16:11]
You know, I this morning, when I was hiking, I was hiking with one of my best friends from law school. And I was we were I was telling her that I was going to be on your show. And I was asking myself that question. And I think that, no, I still because I’m so happy with where I am now. And I so cherish and honour, the relationships that I made during that time. So four of my best friends in the whole world I met during that point. I’m not sure I would. I’m not sure I would be where I am right now, if I hadn’t gone through that, that time. So I, I don’t think I would not do it. If I had to, you know, if I’m going on new life, I have a new life, then yeah, I’ll take a different path. But I don’t do it in this lifetime. I’m actually happy that I did it.
David Ralph [17:08]
It does give you contrast, doesn’t it? And she every person that’s been on this show has said to me when they decided to change direction when they had their leap of faith or when they hit as we call it, the big dot. And they connect the dots and they get to the point where things had to change by Look, look back on it and go, it was awful. It was a really bad time. But I’m really glad that I went through it. Because without that, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t be the person I am now. And I certainly feel bad.
Monick Halm [17:40]
Yes, exactly how I feel I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t want to change anything. Because if I had zinged in a different direction, I might not have met my husband or, you know, made the friends that I have or even gotten to this point where I am, which I’m really happy about. But I needed I think I needed that struggle, and I needed the stomach ache. And I needed to see what was the wrong direction so I could find my right direction.
David Ralph [18:08]
Well, why do you think that is a human truth that we’re all saying exactly the same thing? Because on one side, it seems a bit strange, doesn’t it? But we actually say no, I’m glad that it was a bad time. Why do you think as humans, when we look back on it, we actually save of those moments, because we believe it’s what makes us who we are. But that it could be open to question whether it does.
Monick Halm [18:33]
I think if you were I think for people who are able to learn from those situations, then they will appreciate them. I think for people who can’t learn from them, then maybe they don’t they wish they hadn’t experienced something. But I think that there’s something you can learn from everything that you encounter, and even even things that are painful initially. So I think if if you’re learning and you’re growing from them, then you’ll you’ll you’ll be able to cherish them and be grateful for them.
David Ralph [19:09]
Did you say that now? Because you have found your true path? Always that really you dig down? Do you think that was always in you that that inherent belief?
Monick Halm [19:21]
I think I’ve always been a very optimistic person. And I’ve always tried to learn from everything that I encounter. And, and I really took to heart that if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. And I was always looking for Okay, well, how is this making me stronger? How am I growing from this? How am I learning from this? So I’ve always had that bent, though, in time, it’s gotten even stronger.
David Ralph [19:52]
He said something that you coach now to, to your, your students and your your clients?
Monick Halm [19:57]
Oh, yes, very much. So
David Ralph [20:00]
very much so. And how do you do that? But for the people out there listening to this conversation, and bear in a pretty poor relationship, or in a job they don’t like? And they hear us saying, actually, although it’s bad, it’s going to be the making of you. How do you actually express that to your client? So that they go? Yeah, all right, fair enough money? I totally buy into that.
Monick Halm [20:25]
Well, I don’t even explain it to them. So much as I asked the question, just, you know, if you this is happening, what? What are you able to learn from this? How are you able to grow from this? What is there in this that you can be grateful for? I think a lot of times, it’s, it’s, it’s the questions that we ask ourselves that are most important. Not, you know, the, it’s, it’s the storeys, and you know, every, we all have, you know, there’s a series of facts, but it’s the storeys that we put around those facts that really dictate how we, we view life. So when you have an experience and you’re in the storey is about how you’re a victim, how you were, you know, you’re, you’re treated badly how you know how everything’s against you, that’s the storey that you’re going to have a really different opinion about what happens the those facts and if your storey is about, you know, I, I created this, I’m growing from this, I’m, I’m learning from this, I’m using this as a stepping stone, I’m able to use this and leap from this, there’s no such really such thing as failure or wrong path. They’re just it’s, it’s just feedback. And so if you can shift so I help my clients shift their storeys around what’s happening, I and I do that through asking them different questions, questions that they might not be asking themselves? Instead of a question. They might be asking themselves the question, Why me? Why is everyone against me? Why is, you know, why is my life not working? Those are, you’re going to have very different answers and very different results with those questions, versus these other more empowering questions.
David Ralph [22:17]
Because I’m not a people, like the negative storeys don’t either bear the juicy ones. They’re the ones that keep them in victim mode. And they’re the ones that at the coffee machine in the office, they’re moaning and groaning about the situation that they’re in because they can they can express it to an audience who’s listening to their misery. Did you find that as a common truth as well, that is the the negative stuff, which is the juicy stuff, and people that come in and go, my life is great, everything’s wonderful. I’m finding my true path. For many times, it’s not what the other people really want to hear.
Monick Halm [22:50]
Well, I think, I mean, I have a bunch of friends. And when we get together, we expect stead of complaining are we have we celebrate? Or we you know, we call it we brag, we just talk about what’s going well, and for me, and for us, that is really juicy. And that is really exciting. And even within the things that might not be going as well. Or, you know, what might be easy to complain about, we find what do you see and what’s wonderful, and what’s, you know, what is to celebrate about it. But I know that there are a lot of people who take the opposite tack, and they think, Oh, it’s so much more. They, you know, either everyone around them does it and they want to fit in so they complain, or they, they look for what’s bad because they get sympathy. They get attention, I knew that there’s always a payoff for people about why you know, whatever they’re doing, I’ll some people do what they want to do, because in some way, it makes them feel better. So they think they’ll feel better if they have the other people’s sympathy or if they’re fitting in. And so I like to show my clients in a different way, you know, maybe maybe you’ll feel better if you can celebrate you get or what’s happening and you’re celebrating that with the people around you, you get them to celebrate what’s going on with them. And having a different a different way of being. And, and that and that most people I find have a higher payoff doing that.
David Ralph [24:35]
Because it is so true. And what you’re saying there you’ve surrounded yourself with like minded individuals, haven’t you, you’ve surrounded yourself with a peer group that have similar I suppose dreams, aspiration and outlook. And for people who are out there who are in a negative situation, they really need to look at the people that they are surrounded ACL, Jim Rome thing that I talk about all the time, you’re the average of the five people that you surround yourself with. And it is absolutely true. Whitney,
Monick Halm [25:01]
yes. I, I tell my clients and I know, especially ones or when I’m speaking, I’ll often talk about, you know, your your dream team, if you’re, there’s a dream that you want to move towards, then you want to surround yourself with, I call them Dream Team so that could that consists of cheerleaders. So those are people that are cheering you on that tell you you can do it. You want to have as many you know, all the people around you ideally are your cheerleaders you want to have confidence is a people that you can talk to who you can talk to about the rough times and they can say, yeah, I’ve been there I understand. And so you can talk you know, be really authentic and take with them. You need way showers people who are living what you want to live people who can demonstrate to you what you know how the path to get to where you you want to go or whatever that that means to you. And you want connectors, people who can connect you to opportunities and different experiences that will help you along your dream path. So you want all of those types of people in your in your life. And you want to minimise the naysayers, the people who are negative, the people who who are telling you to quote unquote, be realistic. You know, don’t do that. You can’t do that. And people who mean Well, I think they mean well, they want the best for you but they are but ultimately is not in your best and highest to have people who are naysaying your dreams. So, that’s what I I recommend to people that have that, you know, have more of the cheerleaders and connectors and way showers and a confidence and spends little time as possible, talking with your naysayers.
David Ralph [27:03]
Because I’m literally surrounded by thousands now of positive like minded individuals doing this job and connecting with people across the globe. My outlook was always very positive anyway. But now, it I just cannot imagine not achieving amazing things. It’s almost like it’s destined to happen. Because every conversation I have, it’s with somebody that has got off their backside, and they have done something amazing. And if you have that much of a connexion to these people, it’s going to start rubbing off on you, isn’t it?
Monick Halm [27:38]
Absolutely. Yeah, you want to be with people who are playing big games bigger game. I think it’s I heard the saying that, you know, if you if you’re the smartest, most successful person in your tribe, you need a new tribe. I mean, you don’t want to be you want to be with people who are inspired for you to be bigger and better things, people who are supporting you as much as possible, and I feel incredibly grateful that I’m surrounded by people like that, too. I really, I really can’t think of anyone who’s in my life that is a naysayer. That’s a complainer. That’s a whiner. I don’t I don’t have them in my life anymore. I just have people who are really excited about what they’re doing and where they’re going and and positive
David Ralph [28:27]
is a good place to be really is but when you when you was back in sort of litigator mode, there must have been a lot of those naysayers. There must be people that were sort of anchoring you do to their lack of dreaming, I suppose. Or their their their love of reality. And I’m actually in the sort of law world it is all based on reality, isn’t it? Because you can’t really be a dreamer in that environment, or can you?
Monick Halm [28:50]
A very challenging, especially in the big law firms like I worked in and there were, there was, you know, just to tell you a little bit about my storey I had, you know, I, I got to law school, and I ended up working in the big law firm, and those stomach aches came back. And but I was too busy to do anything about them. And eventually, my I had an appendicitis and my appendix ruptured. And I ended up in the hospital. And when I was admitted to the hospital, the doctor told me that I’d be there a few days, I ended up being in the hospital for nine days. And he told me, I’d have at least 30 days at home afterwards to recover. Remember, as a Tuesday morning, and my first thought was, Oh, thank God, I don’t have to go to work. He might as well told me that I won a vacation because I was felt so much relief, from not having to go into the office. That’s how miserable I was that this excruciating life threatening illness was better than being at work. And what’s really sad is that some of my co workers came to visit me. And they were jealous. And we started joking about, you know, what? organs they might be able to get rid of. That they can apply mobile work do, like, Do you need a gall bladder? I don’t know. Let’s
David Ralph [30:20]
get you should get one, the embarrassing buddies programme and whip out disgusting stuff all the time.
Monick Halm [30:29]
There wasn’t anything wrong with them, but they were jealous, but I got to have this break. And they didn’t. And I know other friends, another friend of the lawyer, she told me that she would drive to work wishing to get into an accident. She was bad enough so that she would never have to work again, but not so bad. You know, that would killer she should be incapacitated. There it was kind of sick, how how miserable we were but also house, duck, we felt that we we were thinking, oh, gosh, you have to get into an accident or lose. You know, I have a life threatening illness, lose some body parts so that you can get a break from this. And that was the biggest aha for me. When I when I realised that I was happier in the hospital than at work, I realised that this was not sustainable.
David Ralph [31:32]
So so what what did you do when you when you had that realisation?
Monick Halm [31:38]
Well, a few things because, you know, I really didn’t know what to do. Because I was doing what everyone had told me my whole life would make me successful and happy. Now I had gone to college and law school and I was in the biggest loss firm in the state, very prestigious, making six figures I should have been, you know, deliriously happy. And I was so miserable. But I you know, and I really didn’t know what else what else to do. And a few things came into my life at that time. Literally, were handed to me in the hospital that changed my life. One was I received the book The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, have you heard of that book?
David Ralph [32:30]
I haven’t read it. But I’ve heard about it from about six people in about the last two weeks, funnily enough.
Monick Halm [32:35]
Okay, well, that’s a sign that your mental
universe keeps telling you something, pay attention. But I somebody handed me that book. And I had 30 days at home where I didn’t have to work. And I had a lot of free time. So I started working on it. It’s a bit like it’s basically a 12 step programme for artistic recovery. So what spirituality work on it over 12 weeks, and I started doing it, because what else was I supposed to do? And, and it called me. So I started doing it. And I realised that a I was that I had some creativity, I never thought of myself as being at all creative. And I but beyond that, it helped me think in really different ways. And before I knew it, I got I got an offer to go to Argentina for a year as a visiting scholar. At first, the offer came in I said, Oh no, I can’t do that leave law. And now I’m on this path. And I thought about overnight, I Whoa, what am I thinking? Like, I hate this app. So the next day call us again. So yeah, I’ll do it. And I got my ticket. And I spent a year there. And I started Tango dancing and painting and teaching yoga, doing all of this wonderful stuff, singing in a jazz band, and doing my legal legal research. And, and I and I came back. And I tried different paths in the law to save. And maybe it was maybe that job wasn’t it, but maybe a different job. And I tried a few different things. And I tried mediation, which I liked better, but I still it still wasn’t the right thing for me. And eventually, I came to life coaching, which, you know, it’s like, the skies opened up. And ah, it was, it was it. It really was. And what’s funny is when I was 18, I remember reading this book, I don’t even remember what the name of it was, was a book that my dad had. And it was a book about the brain. And I don’t I don’t remember the author or the title. But I remember one of the chapters which had been, which wasn’t really about the brain, but was about this author’s theory, basically, he said, you know, eight, because about 10 to 15% of the population is insane. You know, they have something wrong with their brain. They’re schizo frantic, and they’re there, you know, there’s some brain chemistry reason why they can’t live a really fulfilling life in every way. And then he said about 10 to 15% of 10% of the population is saying, so they’re, they’re ones that in every way are living lives that they love, you know, they have wonderful relationships and jobs that they are careers that field, they feel like they’re part of the, the they feel like they’re making a difference in the world, even though it’s not that they have zero palms, but you know, they really are, they really, really enjoy their lives in every way. Because they these people are saying, and then he said there’s 70% of the population 70 to 80% of the population. That’s insane. Is it the unseen? So there’s no, there’s no physical reason why they shouldn’t be as happy as the people who are saying, but they, for whatever reason, they allow themselves to be an unhappy relationships or, or jobs that are in a toxic, you know, jobs that feel toxic. And, and he said, Those people are insane, you know, they there, they could get out of it. But for whatever reason, they don’t. And I remember reading that when I was 18 and thinking, oh, wow, first of all, I want to be sane, I don’t want to be insane. And I would love to work and help the unseen become seen. I didn’t read realise that was a job then, you know, when I was 18. And then I also went through plenty of years being unsafe, or unsafe myself. And I’m saying Jobs, I had an insane relationships. But I was always go, I was always trying to be same. And you know, it for me is the same same. So such a little work word feels very mundane. But
it’s cool. Yeah. But living this life that’s in every way is, you know, makes you happy. And, you know, eventually I got there. And then I found that about life coaching and I realised oh my gosh, this is a job where I get to help the unseen becomes the same. This was this was it.
David Ralph [37:48]
I’m going to stop you there because I have got so many questions that I have all the time I was bringing up I need to say something I need to say something. First of all I want to play this little speech is not the Steve Jobs. We know me too. This is something else. I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but this is the great Jim Carrey and Jim Carrey said this recently on a commencement for university. And I didn’t want to play this because this is amazingly powerful. And I think it says exactly what you’re saying about the sane and the I’m saying this is Jim Carrey.
Unknown Speaker [38:20]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [38:47]
That says the old enough.
Monick Halm [38:48]
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
David Ralph [38:52]
And we do we only have one life. And so it’s total madness. And you know, I’m not preaching to the choir, Bertie, you know, I’ve only just found this path myself. And for years and years and years, people would say to me, you know, what do you want to do for a living, I didn’t know, I could list loads of things that I didn’t want to do, because I’ve done done them. And I didn’t like them. But actually my true path, the true thing that lit me up inside, was always bubbling under the surface. But I didn’t have an avenue to sort of blast it out. It was very small scale. And now I’ve got the ability to blast it out to the world. And it is so empowering. And the thing that’s come out of it money. And the thing that I just want to touch on, before we play Steve Jobs, is the tagline to the show is connecting our past to build our future. And one of the things that has come out time and time and time again, is, but if we look what we’re doing now, the thing that we love doing the thing that lights us up, the things that we say are unique to ourselves, they are our path. If we go right back to when we were five year olds are very small children, pretty much the things that lit us up, and then were exactly the same thing. So I bet when you was a little girl, you love caring for people, or making people happy, or over kind of things that you’re doing now. And somewhere along the line, you forgot it. And you went off into a career because it was an unexpected route. It was the responsibility. But I’m finding it out over time now that where we get that phrase, find your passion. We actually all know our passion, but we just forgotten it.
Monick Halm [40:29]
Yes, or we don’t trust that it will support us.
David Ralph [40:34]
That’s true as well, because you kind of think well, I used to play it doing that. How can I build a career around that. But there’s so many once again, avenues, you’ve got the online which is so powerful, where you can have that tiny little idea and blast it across the globe and suddenly make a living for yourself because you’re just touching a market which is bigger than you can possibly perceive. I was speaking to a lady the other day, and she’s on a episode 62 I might be wrong on that. But she lives Cortez, and she was a gym. instructor. And she suddenly realised that she was a great gym instructor but bad business woman. So she didn’t want to run the business. But she liked to doing the gym side. And so she found a way of actually doing that, taking a lot of the hassles away. And by recording herself doing her classes on on online, she once again blast it to clients in every corner of the world. And she absolutely loves it. But she found a situation that she thought I’d be good at. didn’t quite work for her, but she moved it into something else. And then bang is powerful. It’s good in it when it comes together.
Monick Halm [41:49]
It is it takes a while sometimes he does. So beautiful.
David Ralph [41:57]
Everyone isn’t it might take a while. But you got to become aware, first of all, you’ve got to start looking around, and you’ve got to start saying no, my situation is not making me happy, I’m going to do something about it. And once you start to take that responsibility and start to create your own environment, then you’ve got more than a half chance, I think you’ve got a very good chance to have the life you want. Because once you get that round you once you get that peer group, once you get that positivity once you get that focus, I honestly don’t think it’s that hard. I think it’s the, it’s because we’re so stuck in a situation with those surrounded by kind of career mud, it’s just too much effort to get ourselves going. But once you actually pull yourself out of mud, you actually can run around quite easily, it’s the getting yourself out, which is the hard bit.
Monick Halm [42:46]
Yeah, it’s the getting unstuck. And that’s, you know, that’s mostly what I I work on with my clients, just helping them get out of their own way. That’s, I think that’s really, it’s ourselves that are in the way, and our beliefs and our, you know, our limiting beliefs about, you know, what we can do to be successful and what it means to be happy and, and how we can get there. Or that we you know, are leaving something that’s comfortable or not even that comfortable, but at least the you know, the devil they know. And, and so you know, that’s a lot of what I do with my clients is help them get unstuck and help them moving towards where they’re meant to be where they feel like they’re thriving.
David Ralph [43:39]
I’m going to bring on Steve Jobs now. Because I think it’s a perfect segue to this is about having faith in yourself, trusting yourself and trying different things. And maybe it won’t work first of all, but when you look back and you join up the dots, you can see your path. So this is Steve Jobs, and then we’re going to just talk about it afterwards.
Steve Jobs [43:58]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future, you have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [44:33]
is following your heart a good thing? Or is it actually a bad thing? Or where where is the truth path found? Is it within the heart or in the head?
Monick Halm [44:43]
Oh, absolutely within your heart, your intuition. I am such a big proponent of helping people connect connect to their intuitive guidance. You know, our, our societies seems to really value and above all our rational logical minds. But our intuition is connected to so much more than that, you know, it’s connected to on a on a conscious surface basis, we, we might get 5% of all of the various stimuli that our brain receives, you know, consciously. Right now whoever’s listening might be hearing our voice and paying attention to that. But on the you know, on a different level, their brain is picking up background noise traffic going by conversations that are being heard, conversations are being had and different parts of the, their office or their home. There, there’s a temperature changes, your brain is picking up all of that. And all that becomes part of your intuitive guidance. As well as something much more I think your intuition is connected to a universal flow. And this intuition, which you can, people will think of it in terms of their heart or their gut. Or their you know, they’re just this knowing, or, you know, that little still small voice, I think it’ll always guide you in the right direction. For me, it’s like a life GPS, know, just, if you follow that you, you won’t necessarily know where you’re going, you know, like Steve Jobs as you can’t, you won’t know where the dots are leading you. But I feel like if you follow your intuition, you’ll never regret it. And the only decisions I’ve ever made are when I’ve ignored that intuitive guidance.
David Ralph [46:52]
I’ve done the same when I’ve been offered coaching, coaching Money, money, money, I have been more unhappy than I’ve ever been. And for a long time, I was thinking, well, I did that take this job. I know it’s paying me a lot of money, but I hate it, you know, terrible, terrible times. And when I’ve gone with the thing that has scared me most is the thing that I look back on it and go, Wow, I’m so glad I did that. Yes, it was scary. But God, it was exciting, or whatever, very much like this. And I’ve said the same thing numerous times when I started with, I was terrified. And even when I launched and I was about 10 shows into it, I still thought I’m not going to give this up is not never going to work. And all those kind of limiting thoughts came into your head. But you just push through that that fear and that courage and as you say is your is your body’s GPS is the scary bit that is allowing you to grow. And unless you go for the scary bit, you get you stuck again on you.
Monick Halm [47:52]
Yeah, yeah, sometimes it’s scary. Sometimes it’s just there is some voice this, you know, it’s just tell it’s just telling you to move in this direction. And that, yeah, but it can be scary to pay attention to it, and not what everyone else tells you is the right thing to do not what society is telling you is the right thing to do. And following. You know, that crazy path that your intuition sometimes sends you on? It can be terrifying, but you never regret it.
David Ralph [48:27]
Did you really truly, truly believe that? You never regret it.
Monick Halm [48:31]
I truly believe that, that if you if you are following your intuitive guidance, I think you’ll never regret it. I think and I like I said the only the only decisions I’ve made that, that I’ve regretted our decisions where my intuition was telling me no and I went anyway. Those are the only things I’ve ever regret I’ve never regretted my intuition
David Ralph [48:56]
isn’t really amazing, isn’t it? Eight cnet’s. He’s in a we all need to just pay more attention to what, what our bodies are saying?
Monick Halm [49:05]
David Ralph [49:08]
Well, just. Absolutely. Just before the end of the show. I’ve got one question I want to ask you before I put you on the Sermon on the mic, and we send you back in time to have a have a chat with your younger self. But on your day to day life at the moment, as we said in the introduction, you’ve got so much on your plate. But what is the thing that you actually go? Yes, that that’s actually my my core essence.
Monick Halm [49:34]
I think while there’s it’s learning and teaching, I you know, there there are certain things and and creating being creative. I said I didn’t feel I was creative. And then I got this Artist’s Way. And I discovered as an artist and me and then designer. to that. That makes me go yes. And then I’m always wanting to learn more. And I, and I’m all and I love teaching what I learned I love it, which helps me learn even better. But I you know, there’s this, I get into this place the zone that coaching and I I feel this, this joy that permeates my whole body. And I love it. those are those are the biggest yeses for me in my life right now. As well as the love of my family.
David Ralph [50:37]
He’s a pretty good place to be Monique at the moment, I imagine.
Monick Halm [50:40]
Oh my gosh, I’m, you know, when I look back on where I was, you know, if I if you had to ask me on a scale of one to 10 how I felt when I was in that hospital bed, in terms of where my life was, I would have probably been added to maybe a negative one, folks is pretty slow. And and now I feel like I live at 10 Plus, and I’m so grateful I feel I feel like my life is hundred percent same
in that, in that way. incredibly grateful.
David Ralph [51:14]
I was that your big dot the appendicitis was that that the changing part of your life?
Monick Halm [51:20]
It was a it was a it was a main one. Yeah, I mean, that being in that hospital bed was it was a low point. But it was also kind of like the low point and you know, when you’re jumping on a trampoline, and then let just help me jump off from there. And it really helped me see that. You know, what society and said, would make me happy and be successful? Wasn’t the answer for me. And that allowed me the freedom to find my own answer. And I think that was that was really where we’re, you know, the starting point for being able to ask the right questions and look for the right things.
David Ralph [52:11]
When I love the fact that you found your path, I think it’s inspiring for so many people out there trying to find their own as well. And I know there’s somebody that is looking for their part, and that’s the young Monique. So let’s send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you did meet her, what age would you choose? Would it be the five year old? Would it be the one in university the one going through law school. So this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [52:43]
Here we go with the best of the show.
Unknown Speaker [53:03]
Hello, young Monique.
Monick Halm [53:07]
I’m so happy to be able to talk to you. Now, as you look forward in your life, you’re 20 years old right now, I want to tell you, first of all, keep going you’re going to have the funnest ride, they’ll be down some they’ll be downtime, for sure. But you’re also going to have so much fun. And always do the thing that’s fun. I you know, at this point, you’re deciding that you’re going to do the things that scare you. And so you will go to South Africa and Japan and France and backpacking through Southeast Asia. You’ll go and you’ll live in different places. And you’ll do these things because they scare you. And I want to tell you that. Yes. Do that do everything that scares you. And remember, the only thing to fear is fear itself. So when you’re you’re deciding do I skydive, do I bungee jump? Do I go on that crazy adventure? The answer is yes, do it. And while you’re doing it, I want to give you some other advice. to always be really authentic. Be yourself. When you’re in relationships. There’ll be a time where you feel like you might have to follow some sort of rules or try to be somebody you’re not to make some guys like you, I want you to remember that. You only really need the guys like you that will like you exactly as you are. That’s the only way it’s going to feel really fun and really great and really to see. And that’s how you’re going to find your soulmate, who you do find. So remember to be exactly who you are, feel, allow yourself to feel how you feel, allow yourself to be open to the honest a loving to be to know to just share exactly who and what you are fully. And that is going to help you in love. It’s going to help you in attracting clients and business and finding the right opportunities. When you are completely true to who you are and how you feel and what feels right. And what feels the best for you, you’re going to go on a path that is going to look really different from the path of the people around you, you’re going to be guided by angels are going to speak to you and you’re going to share their words with others and that’s going to be one of the most beautiful that’s going to be one of the most beautiful, wonderful parts of your life. So be open to them. And lastly, I want to give you some advice about money you can be a mess with money, you can deal with it very much. But your money needs to be dealt with and it’s actually a really wonderful thing when you’re dealing with money. You know you have a fear about money and you think that dealing with my is very stressful because that’s how our parents were. But when you learn to give money loving attention, and you just pay attention to it regularly you pay attention to how much you’re spending and what comes in and what goes out and you start saving and investing it’s going to be really wonderful for you and that’s going to be going to help with the missing piece you know that it’s always there when you need it but I want to give you advice on how to grow it and how to have really wonderful relationship with money. Monique,
David Ralph [57:14]
I’m gonna play back to my daughters and my wife I think if anyone needs a bit of advice is going to be my lot because hey, I think I think all women need that how can people who are been listening in connect with you
Monick Halm [57:29]
I’m a wonderful way to connect with me is on Facebook. I also have a website life alchemy school com but I’m on Facebook life alchemy school. And that’s a great way to to connect with me as well. And you can email me at life, alchemy school, all one word at gmail. com. And I’d love to hear from you.
David Ralph [57:53]
When I’m sure you’re going to get loads of people dropping your line because you’ve been an absolute inspiration. And you’ve been so open and generous. And from bottom of my heart, thank you so much for spending time with us today joining up those dots of your life. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I really do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Monique, thank you so much.
Monick Halm [58:18]
Thank you so much David.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.