Bailey O’Brien Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Bailey O’Brien Cancer Survivor
Bailey O’Brien is today’s guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up dots podcast interview.
She is a remarkable lady who has battled so much in her life, not least at a stage when most people are footloose and fancy free.
Yes, back in in 2010, when just a young lady she was diagnosed with a recurrence of malignant melanoma that first appeared back in 2007.
When she got a professional to take a look at a mole that appeared on her right temple it was discovered that she had cancer.
Having 45 lymph nodes removed she hoped that he can nipped it all in the bud, and could look forward to a long and healthy life.
But sometimes life has other plans, and in 2010 she was back under the knife having some bone from her skull and the lower half of her ear removed.
How The Dots Joined Up For Bailey
But of course the fascinating thing as we see everyday on the show, is that more often than not the worse times of life can show us the way to a life is really great.
And now she has built a whole business in regards to others to take control of their health as she did when faced with 7 tumors as a college student-athlete.
As she says “With nothing to lose I put my trust in complementary and alternative treatments and has been in remission for 5 years. Since that life-changing experience, I have encouraged and empowered others to do their own research to find their own pathway to healing with courage, faith and perseverance. “
So of course a stupid question in many ways, but is she glad that the issues that she had to deal with first came into her life?
And is life in her view one of taking your own personal responsibility, not just in regards to health, but also in the day to day writing of your own personal story?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Bailey O’Brien
Show Highlights
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Bailey O’Brien such as:
How she surrounded herself with positivity and encouraging folk, so at her darkest times she could feed on others belief that she would get through this.
Why she didn’t allow her first diagnosis to be her defining one, but took on her own research into a cure for her health issues. So Important to have control in your own life.
How she realsied that through her struggles and difficulties she had found a niche business that could allow her to help others and control her own destiny.
And lastly………
When asked about her life today and her past issues, she replies in a heartbeat “If I knew I was going to be where I was today before hand, I would go through everything again without a doubt”
How To Connect With Bailey O’Brien
Return To The Top Of Bailey O’Brien
If you enjoyed this episode with Bailey O’Brien, why not check out other inspirational chat with Sean Swarner, Zachary Babcock, Tim Collings and the amazing Wesley Chapman
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Full Transcription Of Bailey O’Brien Interview
Intro [0:00]
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello there everybody. Hello there and welcome to Join Up Dots. I’m looking forward to this one today. It’s gonna be a good one. We have connected before pressing record. we’ve sorted out Mac PC problems and sound issues whether to shoot the neighbor’s dog, it’s gonna be a good one. I tell you because she is a lady who is is up for the challenge of being on Join Up Dots because she’s dealt with so much in her life. She’s remarkable lady, and not least at a stage when most people are footloose and fancy free. She had a few problems. Yes back into 2010 when just a young lady she was diagnosed with reoccurrence of malignant melanoma that first appeared back in 2007. When she got a professional to take a look at a mole that appeared on her right temple, it was discovered that she had cancer. Now having 45 lymph nodes removed so that she hoped she’d nipped it all in the bud. She would be able to look forward to a long and a healthy life, but sometimes life has other plans. And in 2010, she was back under the knife, having some bone from her skull and the lower half of it ever moved. But of course, the fascinating thing is we see every day on the show is that more often than not the worst times that can show us the way to a life that is really great. And now she bought a whole business in regards to helping others take control of their health as she did when faced with seven tumours as a college student athlete, as she says, have nothing to lose. I put my trust in complementary and alternative treatments and have been in remission for five years and since that life changing experience, I’ve encouraged and empowered others to do their own research. To find their own pathway to healing with courage and perseverance, so of course a stupid question in many ways, but she glad that the issues that she had to deal with first came into her life and his life in her view, one of taking your own personal responsibility, not just in regards to health, but also in the day to day writing of your own personal story. Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Bailey O’Brien. Hello, Bailey, how are you?
Bailey O’Brien [2:31]
I am Wonderful. Thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You’re so kind.
David Ralph [2:37]
That’s what I do. So have you gone and shot the dog because it’s quiet. It’s certainly not making barks. I thought I heard a squeal. Did you finish it off?
Bailey O’Brien [2:47]
No, because he’s probably gonna come back.
David Ralph [2:50]
So is this a dog when I said to you, why don’t you go and shoot the dog and I’m gonna get a load of complaints from people, dog lovers across the world. But Hi, I don’t care. When I said to you, you know, would you go and shoot it? It was kind of like yes many times I would have gotten a shot it. So what type of dog is it? When does it bark most? And why is it doing you’re doing your head in?
Bailey O’Brien [3:12]
Um, well actually it’s it’s not the one that usually bothers me. The one that was barking just a moment ago. He’s a really big dog and he’s tried to bite me every time I put my hand out to give him a petting but he’s a good watchdog. I appreciate that about him. Are you
David Ralph [3:33]
somebody that always look for the positive? You’re not just going? It’s a horrible animal but going Oh, yeah. Okay, well, it’s doing its job. Do you like to look for the positives in life.
Bailey O’Brien [3:44]
I do like to look for the positives, but I’m not always that way. And, you know, several years ago, I certainly wasn’t that way either. Even though I, I admired people who were positive. I wasn’t very positive myself. And But now that I have this second chance at life, I want to make the most of it. And so staying positive is one way that I’m able to enjoy life more.
David Ralph [4:09]
Because obviously, you’re on the show because we’re going to touch on this story, but it’s not the big part of the story. The story with Join Up Dots is how you, you find your thing, how you create something great out of something that is, you know, quite miserable, really. And I find time and time again in Join Up Dots is the hard times but then become the good times when you’re far enough away from it. You see it in different, different eyes. Really. Do you look back on those times? As we said in the introduction, we have a kind of, I really wish I hadn’t gone through it, but actually, there was a bit of a gift in it.
Bailey O’Brien [4:44]
Well, I tell people, if I had to do it all over again, I definitely would, as hard as it was.
I want you saying so much from it.
David Ralph [4:55]
Yeah. What do you say about So? So with so much conviction
Bailey O’Brien [5:00]
Because the life that I have now, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m just so grateful and thankful for the people who helped me along the way and for what I’ve learned, and even, like, sometimes people ask me about the specifics of my cancer journey, like, would you have done the conventional treatments, even though you ended up doing alternative treatments at the end? And I would say, Yeah, because it, it showed me that, for me, at least the conventional treatments didn’t work. And so I could encourage people that maybe you could just skip that part and do the alternative because the alternative methods might work for you anyway.
David Ralph [5:45]
And what are the alternatives? Ben? So basically, for somebody who doesn’t know you get diagnosed, you’ve been go to the sort of doctors in the hospital and they poke around on you. Then you had to kind of suppose chemotherapy Radiation is that the way that they would have treated your form of cancer?
Bailey O’Brien [6:04]
Well, I, I went to Tulsa, the cancer treatment centre of America in Tulsa, Oklahoma, looking for a second or third opinion on what to do when I had my stage for diagnosis and seven tumours in my body, and the first doctor I spoke to said, surgery to remove the tumours that are operable, and chemotherapy and radiation for the tumours that are inoperable. And so that was a route I could have chosen. A doctor I had in New York, wanted me to take a chemo pill. And I mean, I guess there are a couple other options. But yeah, those were the main those are the three main treatments that cancer is usually treated with chemo surgery and radiation.
David Ralph [6:57]
Now I I’m quite lucky. I’ve never really had anything in my life that has been sort of life threatening. I’m at that age. Now by the vat. I’ve got a few aches and pains. I’m in my 40s. Now, I didn’t have these pains when I was in my 30s. But now I’m in my 40s. But I can imagine that I’d be spending all my time going. Oh, got a sore throat. Oh, I think I’ve got it coming back. Are you a bit like that? Did you walk around thinking? Oh, is that something called you to sort of switch off from it now?
Bailey O’Brien [7:25]
Meaning did i did i think that any kinds of pains were cancer coming back?
David Ralph [7:30]
Yeah, still. Now today. You climb out of bed in the morning and you think Oh, God, that hurts. Are you a bit on edge? Or do you just go Oh, no, that’s just because I had a busy day yesterday.
Bailey O’Brien [7:41]
Right? Yeah, certainly in the beginning. When I first went back to school i i’d feel like these little lumps or bumps, which may have been there before, but I wasn’t really sure and it just kind of put me into a depressed state. I just worried like crazy. But I actually had a couple of health scares, more more intense health scares than just the occasional lump or bump. And the first time, I was miserable, and I didn’t really know what to do with myself, everybody around me like my family, they were positive. They were trying to help me stay positive about it, but I’m like, dude, do you understand what I’m feeling right now? And when it turned out that everything was okay. The second time I had a health scare, I thought, Man, I don’t want to go through that again. What I went through the first time so I’m just gonna trust God and it seemed miraculously that this this spot that had showed up on my scan it, it shrunk, and I just thought it was God showed me I could trust him. And so since then, and as time has gone on, and Now I’m in five years, I’ve been in remission for over five years now. Things like that Don’t bother me nearly as much because I I trust in the treatments that I’ve done and the new lifestyle that I have and I, I feel pretty confident in my ability to discern where my health is at.
David Ralph [9:22]
So So let’s talk about where you are at the moment, Ben. So is it full time full time income that you’ve constructed based around helping people with their with their health?
Bailey O’Brien [9:33]
I’m not quite yet. I’m I’m still very new to what I call cancer coaching. I started health coaching recently, I enrolled in the Institute for integrative nutrition health coaching training programme in November, and I’m still in that right now. And that will finish next this fall in November. So I’m still in the training and acquiring enough clients to be able to support myself I have it part time job in a functional medicine doctor’s office. And so that is a supplement to my income as well. But I’m definitely looking forward to the point where I will be able to fully support myself on the cancer coaching business.
David Ralph [10:15]
And I, you know, until you come on the show, I’d never heard of this at all cancer coaching. But I would imagine that it’s it’s a very broad niche. I might, you know, people have cancelled a time. Is this a new thing cancer coaching or was it always been around?
Bailey O’Brien [10:31]
Honestly, I, I don’t know. I haven’t heard a lot about it myself. And I’ve only seen a couple of cancer coaching programmes. I’m not actually in a cancer. I’ve never been a student in a cancer coaching programme, but I feel that my personal experiences are my best training. And so I’m able to help people who are going through the process of what I went through, and my niche is people who are are looking for ways to alter their diet, boost their immune system and increase their chance of overcoming their cancer diagnosis and especially people who may be thinking about going to Mexico. Those are the kinds of people who I connect with the best and who I can help the most.
David Ralph [11:19]
And so a why Mexico,
Bailey O’Brien [11:23]
why Mexico because the treatments that I that helped me or not available in the United States, I had to go to Mexico for them. And one of them actually used to be a mainstream treatment in the United States and unfortunately, I think chemo and radiation were becoming popular at the time that the doctor who invented this treatment passed away and so it kind of fell by the wayside and people stopped believing in it.
David Ralph [11:56]
So if we take you back right to the the early days of Bailey, you were very athletic. I imagine he was a girl who loved dancing and jumping around as a sort of typical girl. Did you have a career path that you was aiming for? Was it purely in athletics or were you looking at other areas?
Bailey O’Brien [12:18]
Um, when I graduated high school, I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and after I had cancer the first time as a freshman in college, I returned for my sophomore year and decided I wanted to study nutrition. I wasn’t super passionate about it. I I was always looking at nutrition labels. And I enjoyed learning about it, but it wasn’t necessarily like something that got me out of bed in the morning. And, yeah, so I didn’t have a, you know, any grand plan for my life, but I do I just figured, oh, well, I’ll do something that a volunteer a little try to help people. But I wasn’t super passionate.
David Ralph [13:08]
Because it is a strange thing that we hear literally every single episode is either. We haven’t got a plan. So we just kind of Bumble around doing stuff that falls in front of us, or we have a plan, but it’s not our plan. It’s our parents plan. Its uncles and Auntie’s, there seems to be some kind of connection to business within a family. So you get somebody ending up being a lawyer, but the last thing they want to do is be a lawyer, because it was kind of planned to them. So we’ve your lifestyle, obviously, growing up with your parents and stuff. Was there a kind of family business that you could have gone into? was a path almost set out for you or was it clear, Bailey just make it up as you go along? Hmm,
Bailey O’Brien [13:51]
yeah, there wasn’t really any family business to get involved with. My my mom was a teacher and actually Guess if there were one thing I could have done to follow in my family’s footsteps, it would have been to become a teacher. My grandma was a teacher, my mom became a teacher later in life, I have a couple aunts who are teachers. So that’s what I could have done, but I never really had the idea that I would like to do that. So I never felt pressured by anyone to enter into a certain profession.
David Ralph [14:26]
But you’ve kind of entered in into it now, haven’t you? You know, coaching is just as
Bailey O’Brien [14:30]
Oh, yeah, in a way it is. I never thought of it that way.
David Ralph [14:34]
Yeah, it’s really weird how people say to me, you know, oh, yeah, I wanted to be a teacher, for example. And they end up being a coach or I want to be a gardener and they end up doing something in the outside. There’s a kind of core essence to what we most like to do. I certainly can track back my, my history, wanting to communicate. I think a communication element was a big part of who I was as a little kid, and it’s still with me today. So if you can find that thing, that essence that you love doing, there’s a way of moving that into environments that will be pleasurable, and you know, lucrative to you. It’s when you go into something that’s totally wrong for you, just because somebody says, Bailey, there’s a joke going around the corner. Oh, okay, go for it. And then you end up being bored at your skull for eight hours.
Bailey O’Brien [15:25]
Mm hmm. Yeah, I love encouraging people and building them up and helping them believe in themselves. So I think the cancer coaching is a good fit for that.
David Ralph [15:37]
And is that something that helps with cancer building you, I imagine, you know, and I’m just talking off the top of my head because I’ve had no real experience. My niece had some kind of cancer recently. I’ll be honest, I don’t really know what it was, although she lost all her hair, and she’s kind of fighting back now. So she sort of overcome it. But she was very positive. You know, she really was We almost sort of wanted her to look ill somehow because then we could compare her. But she just looked like exactly the same. Except she wasn’t. It was, you know, it was harder for us to deal venge her to deal with somehow. Was her mindset, a great way of operating because I would imagine if you are teaching positive mindset he is.
Bailey O’Brien [16:22]
Wow, yeah, that’s amazing. I really admire your niece, and I’m so sorry for what she’s had to go through. But there’s a book called radical remission. It’s written by Dr. Kelly Turner, who was counselling cancer patients. And I just I love this book because it talks about nine of the key common factors among people who overcome either stage three or stage four cancer diagnoses. And a lot of it is about kind of positive psychology or something in that in that arena because I’ll just list some of the factors that are common among these people. It’s radically changing your diet, taking herbs and supplements, increasing positive emotions, releasing suppressed emotions, deepening your spirituality having strong reasons for living and embracing social support. And I don’t know there’s nine in total. I don’t remember how many I just listed. But what surprised me about it was that it’s a lot to do with mindset. And that’s not something that I really thought about when I was going through my cancer diagnosis. I just thought it was okay. You need to do the this list of things and then it’s just a purely physical thing. But having a positive mindset really does make a huge difference and everything kind of follows suit after that. And what helps me a lot when I was struggling was having people who believed in me, my mom’s friend helped us do research and find the treatments that would work for me. She said, Bailey, I believe 100% that you’re going to make it. And I was like, holy cow, like, That is amazing. And then somebody else a motivational speaker who came to be you right around the time that I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He called me on the phone and he’s like Bailey, I don’t know why but I believe you’re going to make it and I was like, thank you so much. That is just a breath of fresh air because everybody is telling me I’m not going to make it and it’s just so frustrating but it just having someone encouraged you and then trusting that you’re going to get well and and staying positive I think that just can change everything.
David Ralph [18:47]
Because Because those things that you those categories that you were listing sort of look after yourself. basically have a positive mindset. Surround yourself with people you will listing almost a blueprint for business success as well. So In it’s not rocket science is it to think that if you look after yourself like you would your business, your business is going to flourish and vice versa. But we all get ingrained in looking after the business but not looking after ourselves. Something’s gonna suffer, or the opposite way around. It was a blueprint that you were quoting.
Bailey O’Brien [19:20]
Mm hmm. Yeah, I think I think everybody needs a community. Everybody needs encouragement, and whether that’s in your business. I know it can be very lonely as an entrepreneur, or you’re going through a health challenge or you’re just trying to get through life. Everybody needs community.
David Ralph [19:39]
Who did you surround yourself with? Did you surround yourself with your peer group? Was it difficult for the top girls of your age to support you did you need to have medical professionals who did you support yourself with
Bailey O’Brien [19:54]
I I spent a lot of time going back and forth between school and home. I, I lived in, in New York an hour north of New York City, and I went to school in Boston, and so that the travel between home and school was about three and a half to four hours. And so I did a lot of back and forth spending time with my teammates because they were they just lifted me up they made me feel so loved and supported and they helped me have a good time and keep my mind off the cancer. Those were really the the people I spent the most time with and they they helped me tremendously. I really am so thankful for them.
David Ralph [20:36]
And did they help you by kind of ignoring it just being normal? Or did they help you bye? Come on baby. Come on, go for it.
Bailey O’Brien [20:46]
Well, I guess it depends when what time period we’re talking about because it whether it was the fall semester or the spring semester, because in the fall, I had more time to Spend with them. Whereas in the spring I was really focused on my health and like going to Mexico and then coming back home and doing the treatments at home. So when I was going through that, they said you can do it like you’re, you’re so tough and strong, whereas in the fall, it was kind of like, yeah, just come out, hang out with us and have fun with us. So I don’t know if that answers your question. But
David Ralph [21:27]
yeah, so they were they were just basically ignoring it. It was business as usual, which is what you needed it. Yeah, stage. We all want sympathy. Don’t worry, when we all we all want our mums or our wives or partners to kind of look after us. But then after a while, it’s kind of Yeah, I’ll just leave me alone. You’re bothering me now. Just Just let me be ill on my own. And so they probably played the right card, didn’t they? Just by going, Come on, baby. Come on, we’re out. We’re out down the pub down the movies or whatever. And this is, this is what we’re going to do. You’re going to join in
Bailey O’Brien [22:00]
Right. Well, I did. I think some people or maybe I could have communicated a bit better, but I did want that sympathy. And I, I missed. I feel that I maybe missed out on that a little bit. But for the most part, having people to to take me out and help me do fun things up. That meant a lot to me.
David Ralph [22:27]
You know, I was on your website, and I’m on it now, actually, and I’ll be totally honest with you. I think you’ve missed a trick on it. Because I want to see a picture of you ill, it’s, it’s, you know, you look so healthy. If I came over there, I don’t think I would connect but actually, you’ve gone through the struggles. Why is that? Why have you got no images of actually, look, this is where I am now. Healthy Bailey. That is where I was. I’ve been through this. This is my journey.
Bailey O’Brien [23:01]
Um, I suppose I could take a picture, or put a picture on there of after having surgery, but I really don’t have a lot of pictures of me looking sick because I really didn’t look sick at least. When I had stage four. Cancer you couldn’t tell at all. Like, I didn’t feel sick, I didn’t look sick. There was nothing sick about me except on the inside. But of course with my surgeries, I did have nerve damage in my face, so I couldn’t really smile very well. And I had redness on my cheek from radiation and I lost a little bit of hair, but that was mostly something that I was able to hide.
David Ralph [23:48]
And now your beautiful smile is a big smile. So is this one that you’ve had to sort of relearn or is that your before illness? Smile? Let’s come back.
Bailey O’Brien [23:58]
Thank you. That’s Actually after coming back that was that picture on my website is is recent.
David Ralph [24:06]
But But did you learn how to smile differently? If we looked at Bailey as a five year old? Would that be the same smile or with the muscle damage and stuff? But is it a different one?
Bailey O’Brien [24:17]
It’s mostly the same. It’s probably maybe 95%. The same, it’s recovered.
David Ralph [24:23]
So well, you look even because you’re you get diagnosed. Very, very terminal, but you didn’t look terminal. You looked you were zero inside but not external. Is that is that kind of did you get? And I’m doing this quality business with my fingers. But is that the lucky side of terminal is, you know, did you stand more chance because you looked Okay, so your body was obviously operating in a certain, certain way. That was sort of normal. Really.
Bailey O’Brien [24:57]
I think I think a lot of people Well, some people do physically get ill before they start treatment. But I think a lot of times the reason that people look sick is because they’re doing treatments that make them look sick. Um, yeah.
David Ralph [25:18]
I knew you didn’t need cars because you went the alternative. It wasn’t aggressive treatment.
Bailey O’Brien [25:25]
Right. And it’s funny because some, there are horror stories of people who go to Mexico or somewhere where they don’t get treated properly, and they do become ill and emaciated. And so when I got home from Mexico, I was there for three weeks. I walk in the front door. My dad was like, Oh, I thought you would be skinny when you got home. And I’m like, What are you trying to say that but I stayed the same exact way. At yeah During my treatment
David Ralph [26:03]
Well, let’s play some words. Now that’s going to take us to the next stage of our conversation. And these were said in a film few years ago, but I think they’re so relevant to today’s conversation.
Rocky Balboa [26:13]
Here’s Rocky, you know, buddy, you got a hit as hard as life, but a lot about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward, how much you can take it, keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
David Ralph [26:30]
Now, are you more a fighter than you ever thought you were?
Bailey O’Brien [26:38]
I don’t know. I think it has a lot to do with my community, the people who have surrounded me because I probably could have given up and and gotten really depressed but having positive and loving encouraging people around me. It just it was what I needed. To keep going.
David Ralph [27:02]
So worst case scenario you was in an environment where you got the illness, but you were sort of isolated or you were alone? Would you be able to pull through? Did it totally come down to that group that you surrounded yourself with? Did you have that inner fight in yourself? Do you think? Hmm.
Bailey O’Brien [27:22]
Well, I mean, maybe it’s possible I could have done it because I know maybe in a way, it felt good to take a stand and fight against the cancer and do everything I could to get better. So I don’t know, I guess, we may never know,
David Ralph [27:46]
hypothetical question we can never answer. It was a stupid question to ask. Now. Looking back at your business that you’re creating. Where do you want it to go because when you start with businesses and this is a kind of hypothetical question again, that is going out for the listener. But you have an idea. So the first thing that you do is get the idea. And then you create a website, and you try to get traffic to the website. How have you developed that side of the business? So people are finding you How have you built the momentum up that you’re starting to think? Yeah, maybe down the line, I can actually turn this into a full time business and quit my job and be entrepreneurial, Bailey.
Bailey O’Brien [28:31]
Well, actually, um, one strategy that I’m using is called Product Launch Formula. It’s a programme by Jeff Walker, who’s an online marketer. I know he won’t he calls. What’s that?
David Ralph [28:46]
I know him. Well, Mr. Jeff Walker. Okay.
Bailey O’Brien [28:49]
Very good. So I enrolled in his programme last fall, and that’s something that I went through and I went to Product Launch Formula live in The end of April, and I actually ran into someone who I admire in the alternative cancer world. And I did an interview with him. And since he posted that interview on YouTube, I have gotten a tonne of traffic at least a tonne more than I was getting before. And so making that connection helped a lot. And then I’m also going to go through the process of launching my business and I I trust that that will help me tremendously in getting more drive more people to my website, and having them join my email list.
David Ralph [29:39]
So we’re talking about Chris walk Yeah, from crispy cancer calm, yes. Hmm. Now, he’s got a sort of similar thing going on, but um, how does it differentiate between what you’re doing and what he’s doing as he’s just been around longer? Is that why he’s got the traffic that bang come across to you
Bailey O’Brien [30:00]
Yeah, I think he’s been doing this for about six years. And he’s developing an online course, which I’m really excited to see. So he he has done cancer coaching as well. But I think his time is so limited now that he can’t offer it to people individually as much as he’s been able to do in the past. And I think that’s why he’s doing the online course. And so he is a few steps ahead of me in that, but he’s someone I definitely look up to.
David Ralph [30:34]
So let’s talk about the Jeff Walker Product Launch Formula now. Jeff’s work is very good, but some of these courses are quite expensive. Now that’s one of the things that holds so many people back investing in themselves. Did you hover over the payment button Did you consider yourself should I be doing this? Tell us about your thinking?
Bailey O’Brien [30:56]
Yeah, I went to the the cart page a couple times. And you know, I went a little bit back and forth with it, because it is a big investment but I asked a mentor of mine who actually went through the programme as well. And he said that Jeff is the master. And I thought, wow, hearing him say that, that that’s a big credibility, so or social proof. And so I thought, well, I’m if I’m gonna do this, I got to do it. Right. And I think it was definitely worth the investment. Yeah,
David Ralph [31:42]
because is the key thing, isn’t it, but if you go to the top guys, you’re gonna get the top knowledge, but you’re gonna pay the top price. And I know in the early days of my entrepreneurial venture, I thought, if I hunt around on YouTube and places I’m gonna find This information for free. And more often than not, you can, you can, but it will take you six years of getting the same amount of information together. And by that time it’s moved on anyway, and better things come along and these guys are on a cutting edge. Now for the people out there that don’t know about Jeff’s story, he literally was, you know, a stay at home dad, raising his kids pottering around on a computer, and he started to build a sort of email list and do something that’s called a kind of side launch, he sends out a shot across the bow, I think he calls it where He sends out an email saying, Hi guys, I’m thinking of doing x y Zed. You know, I just want to get it out there to see what people think. And then start building up the interest and literally, if you do the process, right, and it It sounds very good in principle, I have gone through the book and I found it a lot harder but a course you buy the course and that’s where all the information is. But what he does, he’s just genius, isn’t it? Because it’s a kind of anti sell, but he does he builds up the interest so that people actually want to buy your product. They’re actually waiting for it. Okay, it’s gonna be launched on Friday. Here I am. I’m going to be one of the first people. Did it surprise you when you looked at it, but actually, hang on. This isn’t about hard selling this is about providing something that people want.
Bailey O’Brien [33:23]
Yeah, it definitely is making it easier to kind of do the the marketing side of it because you don’t feel slimy. Like you actually believe in it. Because you’re you’re helping people with what you’re passionate about. And that’s what it’s about. And it’s about creating tremendous value and having people love, love what you’re giving them and so it’s a I think it’s a win win for everyone.
David Ralph [33:55]
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. If you provide enough value to the world and people love it. But then over deliver that’s the key thing that people miss by will. And I hate this baby when they say yes, this is a lifetime membership and you go brilliant, I can buy the lifetime membership and then they go, okay, an extra add on that’s just been released and you think now Hang on, they’ve bought a lifetime membership that should be part of it. But of course there’s these add ons here add ons bear, and a lot of the practices are slimy but the real guys they provide value and I think there’s no getting away that people like Pat Flynn and Jeff Walker, and Pam slim all these people who are out there actually over deliver over deliver and that’s why they’re successful business. There’s no slime we can we can lay in bed at night baby not together because obviously I’m married. But we can be happy. We can be happy that there’s no slimy practices.
Bailey O’Brien [34:52]
Yeah, and even in asking for the sale. Like I think people shy away from that too. I don’t know if it was Jeff or somebody else. Maybe Michael Hyatt who said, like, you have to have confidence in your product. To sell it. I mean, you by not offering it. It’s like saying you don’t believe in it that it’s worth people buying. So yeah, you have to get past that too.
David Ralph [35:21]
I was talking to a lady Assaf afternoon who was on episode five or six Jessica Rose. And she was saying, absolutely true, but not one of us knows what’s in the bank account of somebody else. So when we start creating a product, we think, oh, nobody can afford this or that person won’t be able to afford it. You pick your price, you send it out there. There’s enough people in the world that will buy it as long as you market in the right way and you provide the right value, end of story. And what we find more often than not, through Join Up Dots and through all the interviews I’ve done, the first products that people launch To line $47 $70, very low ones that people don’t want to buy, because they think, well, it’s gonna be rubbish. There’s there’s no point in buying back your hour, they give it away for free, and then people don’t use it because there’s no skin in the game, you’ve got to put a price in that people get the value, but then you’ve got to over deliver that value. And that’s the way the success is built.
Bailey O’Brien [36:24]
Right? Agree?
David Ralph [36:25]
Oh, that was good. When I was in a big rant in there, Bailey. And you just, you’re the perfect lady. For me. Somebody who agrees with me, that’s what I don’t get. I don’t get that much in my life. So what I’m going to do now I’m going to play the words of somebody who’s no longer with us and he actually he died of cancer as well, Steve Jobs. So here Steve.
Steve Jobs [36:46]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking back backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [37:21]
So obviously, you’ve had a path that is kind of an unusual path to where you are now. Do you listen to these words and think, yeah, they’re spot on? Or do you disagree with them? How do they make you feel?
Bailey O’Brien [37:35]
They’re actually making me tear up right now because with with my cancer journey, if I hadn’t taken that leap of faith, I wouldn’t be alive right now. And so taking that step in the dark was something that saved my life. And I think that’s something that has brought me to where I am now in doing something that I’m really passionate about. And I haven’t always been so confident in myself and I, of course I experience doubt all the time. But it’s something I’ve had to learn to have faith. And I just think you really have to go with your, your gut feeling and not depend on what other people say and think. And that’s probably where we may be getting into the next section of self talk. What would I say to my younger self? But I think that really resonates with me,
David Ralph [38:42]
is is it a personal belief that we have to have? Is it or is it more kind of a spiritual? Do we need to believe in ourselves or do we believe in something else that can kind of pull us along you said that you just put your faith in God to sort of solve your issues and the The skin blemish the mole whatever became smaller. Was it a combined belief that you used in those days?
Bailey O’Brien [39:09]
Well, when I had that health scare, I had a spot that I’d shown up on a scan in my chest. And it had grown pretty significantly in a short period of time. And there, it was totally out of my control. So believing in myself wasn’t, it wouldn’t help me at that point. That’s when I had to turn to God and trust what was written in the Bible, and that’s what I did and they gave me peace. And then at a scan, a short time after that, and the spot my chest had shrunk again. But in other situations, I think like before, like when I was going through the cancer In 2011, and I was searching for an alternative treatment that would work for me. I didn’t have faith in God at that time. People had encouraged me to pray for a miracle and trust God and I didn’t really understand why I should trust in God because I was in Tulsa in the in the Bible Belt, and I went to this chapel service. And people around me were singing Praise, praise Jesus. And I was like, I don’t get you guys. Why are you going to praise Jesus if you’re just if we’re all going to die anyway? But that was a personal decision I made later to trust in Jesus. And but I think that, that people who believe in themselves do much better than people who don’t. I think it has to be something that comes from within you. And but I mean, for me, I don’t really trust in myself. Because like I said before, I struggle with doubts and and self confidence. But now how I live my faith is by trusting in God. And so that’s all I can really do. That’s where I turn to at the end of the day when I don’t know where else to go. And hopefully, I think it’s the first place I go. Because I think God’s wisdom is better than my my wisdom.
David Ralph [41:26]
Well, I’ll tell you, God knows more than me and Join Up Dots. But if you’re having doubts, if you’re having insecurities, you just pick any of the 600 plus episodes and you will find people that have had that same fault that is always through the night, isn’t it? You okay? during the day, but once it starts getting dark, and you’re late and you think, I don’t know what I’m doing, and mainly, I promise you, it doesn’t matter who it is. Myself. Richard Branson, Barack Obama. Now Barack Obama. He’s a classic one. If you read his book, he didn’t have a clue. what he was doing he just kind of bumbled around drinking, getting stoned in Chicago for years and years and years, you know, and you almost think, yeah, okay, you’re the president, you were born with a little briefcase and a little podium, you knew what you were going to be. He didn’t have a clue we all make up as we go along. But as you said, the people that keep on making up as they go along and keep on working towards something, they’re the ones who get it. And that all comes down to personal belief. So you don’t worry about those dark nights, you just think to yourself, there’s a big.on, my ceiling is the Join Up Dots, like the bat signal, and that is sending the belief you’ve got 600 people surrounding you, we believe in you.
Bailey O’Brien [42:44]
Oh, that’s okay. And thank you, and I think it just takes one step at a time you can only figure out one step and have a vision and just adapt that vision as you go along. And you you learn new things and and i think There’s a great plan for everybody out there.
David Ralph [43:02]
Absolutely. And it all comes along at the right time. You just have to put yourself in that position. Well, we bled to this part of the show. And this is what we’ve been building to. This is the part when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to young Bailey, what advice would you give and what age would you choose? Well, we’re gonna find out, because I’m gonna play the theme. And when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [43:35]
With the best bit of the show.
Bailey O’Brien [43:54]
All right. So this is 26 Year Old Bailey talking to you 17 Year Old Bailey, just entering college, going, moving away from home, just starting at Boston University and this feeling like the smallest little goldfish in the Big Blue Ocean. So Bailey, I know you’re feeling terrified. You feel pressured because you’re on a division one college sports team, you are surrounded by people who are smarter and more talented than you. And you’re just feeling really stressed. Well, I would. You might not believe me now. But I would tell you to trust that everything is going to be okay. Mom’s going to tell you that everything’s gonna be okay. And you should listen to her. And you should take a deep breath and maybe go to church with Once in a while and see what God is telling you there. And just don’t worry about the future and what’s gonna happen next, because you’re about to go on a very interesting adventure. And you’re going to learn a lot. And you’re going to learn to have more confidence in yourself, you’re going to learn that. Life is not about the small things, it’s about the big picture. And it’s really hard to see the big picture in everyday situations. But what matters most is relationships with people that you care about. And staying positive and overcoming fears because fear is a part of life. And I think it holds it holds you back a lot from doing things that you know, that you are meant to do, but you have to just trust in the future that’s ahead of you. You and You gotta go for it, ask ask for things, do things that you’re afraid of. And you are going to live a an awesome, adventurous, fulfilling life.
David Ralph [46:15]
Absolutely. And one day you’ll be a guest on Join Up Dots. How good is that out? Good? Yeah. Oh, absolutely don’t don’t set your standards too high, though. Bailey, there’s more to come than this. Now, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Bailey O’Brien [46:31]
Hmm, the best way that they can connect with me. You can add to my website, it’s Bailey O’Brien, calm. And you can go to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Those are the social media outlets that I use the most. And just say hi,
David Ralph [46:50]
we will have all the links on the show knows. Bailey, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe By joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Bailey O’Brien. Thank you so much.
Bailey O’Brien [47:08]
Thank you so much. It’s been an absolute pleasure.
David Ralph [47:14]
So Bailey O’Brien, she’s had a few knocks in her life, but you can hear she just, she’s just motivated, she’s developing he, she’s going whatever way. Life takes her really, she doesn’t have all the answers, but the only thing that she has is that personal belief that it’s going to be okay. And she’s going to build something worthwhile for her, her clients, a customer and the world and that’s what it’s all about doing the right thing. She’s on her way to greatness. I know that I felt that right through to cause me and I believe every single one of you listening to this show is on their way to greatness as well. You’ve just got to do what Bailey’s doing. And start. Thank you so much for listening to Join Up Dots. Thank you so much. Being part of the journey. We’re moving now into the sort of 607 hundreds into the thousands. I’m excited to see what’s gonna happen with the show where it’s gonna go. I’ve got plans, but hey, I’m making it up as I go along. Look after yourself. Cheers. Bye bye.
Outro [48:17]
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you were once to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.
