Kul Mahay Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Kul Mahay
Kul Mahay is todays guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots podcast interview.
So many people in life, feel that what they do, is what they will do for the rest of their lives.
They go into jobs that might inspire at the beginning, but over time, little by little start to become a drag.
Every minute feels like an hour, everyday feels like a month.
But they put up with it until its time for retirement, when they are free to mow the lawn, walk the dog, and have nice little naps in the afternoon.
Well today’s guest joining us on Join Up Dots is a former senior Derby police officer, who since 1985 when he joined the force “saw the darkest side of humanity” as he says, while dealing with horrific murders and acts of violence.
How The Dots Joined Up For Kul Mahay
He retired at the rank of Superintendent on New Year’s Eve and, just the following day, picked up his first client after taking courses on hypnotherapy and life-coaching skills.
In just short of a year, he has expanded his fledgling business and now has clients across the globe, who he helps via Skype.
He says “In less than a year I have built up a client base that stretches to Australia, the USA, Europe and the Middle East and I have helped all ranges of people including chocoholics, nail biters and alcoholics.
One of my earliest clients was a man who had suffered with a stutter for more than 30 years.
Through hypnotherapy and life skills I have learned, we stripped back his problem to when he first started stuttering as a ten-year-old and within a short space of time I have helped him stop.
He has since thanked me as it has given him a huge amount of confidence and enabled him to get a promotion at work.
When The Confidence Came Into His Biz
I am loving what I am doing, and my confidence has never been higher.”
And this is a key part to what makes a business begin to flourish, its not the skills, its not the global reach, but it is certainly the personal confidence.
The moment you truly begin to believe in yourself is when the world says “Right we think you can handle what we are going to give you, so make this into a success”
So did he struggle with the “Oh god, this is my first client, I’m not ready for this” mentality after quitting the police force?”
And now seeing the future forming in front him, would he have stayed in full-time employment as long if he had the chance to go back and change things?”
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show, to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Kul Mahay
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Kul Mahay such as:
Why he feels that the ability to change the world through the transformation of people is the most powerful statement that he can make, and why he takes it so seriously.
How he recalls being scared of earning money in the early days of his business, and how he worked through those issues to find his true value.
Why it is such a strange phenomenon across the world. how when you offer free tickets and huge value to the world people dont use it. There always has to be skin in the game.
Why you have to be ruthless in regards to the people that you surround yourself with, as they will dip into your “energy wallet”. Protect the contents with your life.
Kul Mahay Books
How To Connect With Kul Mahay
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here– enjoy
Full Transcription Of Kul Mahay Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:35]
Yes, hello there. Good morning to you. Well, good morning, everywhere and good morning to the people in little dire media. Yeah, I had an email the other day from a guy in little diabetes. And I must admit, I didn’t know where it was. And he said that he’d stumbled across my show. And I thought really, you know, I get excited when somebody from you know, London says that they’re listening to my show. So I went across, and it’s a tiny little place you Luton MIDI and you got picked on MIDI, right between Alaska and Russia. So if you go around the Pacific Rim right in the middle, yeah by joining up the dots and the beauty of it is it’s literally a dot between these two superpowers Russia. So there’s a kind of I don’t know there’s a kind of an analogy there somehow I can Join Up Dots anywhere as I’m going to do with today’s guest because he is somebody that I’ve been chatting to just before we press record and to be honest, I could have been quite happy doing that there’s a connection. He’s an English guy. He’s somebody who is doing his own thing and he’s feeling inspired. And I suppose it goes against what so many people in life feel that what they have to do and what they do on a daily basis is what they do for the rest of their lives. They go into jobs that might inspire at the beginning, but over time, little by little start to become a drag. Now every minute feels like an hour every day feels like a month. They just want the weekends to turn up about I put up with it until it’s time for retirement when they’re Three, two alone, walk the dog and have nice little naps in the afternoon. Well, today’s guest joining us on Join Up Dots is a former senior Dhabi police officer who since 1985, when he joined the force saw the darkest side of humanity as he says while dealing with horrific murders and acts of violence. He retired at the rank of Superintendent on New Year’s Eve and just the following day, yes, just the following day, picked up his first client after taking courses on hypnotherapy and life coaching skills. And in just a short year, he’s expanded his fledgling business and now has clients across the globe, who he helps via Skype. He says, In less than a year, I’ve built up a client base that stretches to Australia, USA, Europe and the Middle East. And I’ve helped all range of people including chocoholics. Now biters and alcoholics One of my earliest clients was a man who had suffered with a stutter for more than 30 years and through hypnotherapy and life skills. I’ve learned we’ve stripped back to this problem too when he first started stuttering as A 10 year old and within a short space of time, I’ve helped him stop. He since thanked me and given me a huge amount of competence and enabled him to get a promotion at work. I’m loving what I’m doing, he says, and my competence has never been higher. And this is a key part to what makes a business begin to flourish is not so much the skills. It’s not the global reach. But it’s certainly the personal competence, the moment you truly begin to believe in yourself, is when the world says, right, we think you can handle what you’re going to give you. So make this into a success. run with it, guys run with it. And so did he struggle with the Oh god, this is my first card. I’m not ready for this mentality after quitting the police force, and now seeing the future forming in front of him. Would he have stayed in full time employment as long if he’d had the chance to go back and change things? Well, let’s find out as we bring on the show to start Join Up Dots with the one and only Mr. Kul Mahay, how are you sir?
Kul Mahay [3:55]
I’m really, really good. Do you know what I need to hire you as my PR agent or something like that? The build up like that
David Ralph [4:01]
you does do in English man, you are sexy man. Do you think actually about all English men actually are the sexiest people? Because I think we are what do you think?
Kul Mahay [4:11]
I think we are pretty sexy dudes apart from when we go to football matches in foreign countries and then we let ourselves down a bit sometimes.
David Ralph [4:19]
What do you think about I was talking about this the other day and you see this with Newcastle United supporters. So if nobody knows about Newcastle United across the globe, you’ve got to imagine but these are passionate, really passionate supporters. And there’s a kind of theme Kul Mahay that you see there on freezing cold nights, they will stand there will generally no shirts on freezing. What is the point of that? Why do they do it? Does it show passion? Or is it just madness?
Kul Mahay [4:48]
I’ve very often wondered this and I’ve had the huge pleasure of being in charge of football matches in terms of the policing of football matches. You know, I was one of the few football match commanders When I was a senior police officer, and I used to sit in the box in the control room, which is inside the grand I used to look out, and particularly on a cold evening, as you say, and pretty much I would say 60 70% of people would just they’re in T shirts. And I would think, you know, that’s either that they’re crazy, or that they’re hugely passionate. And I’ve got to realise that football is a bit of both. We are crazily passionate about football in this country. And I guess in other countries in America, it would be American football. In India, it would be something like cricket. You know, when you get that level of passion for anything in your life, you don’t recognise the uncomfort discomfort that goes with it. And I guess the analogy is very similar to being an entrepreneur. You know, you can get up at four o’clock in the morning and get your computer and start working straightaway and not realising that the rest of the world is still in naughty land, you know, still still sleeping away and snoring away. Or you could be at your computer at 11 o’clock at night. At 12 o’clock at night, and I know plenty of my friends who are doing exactly that. And you just don’t think twice of it, whereas the rest of the world would probably think that you’re a bit crazy. So that’s the best analogy that I can use around that.
David Ralph [6:12]
So would you say that once you have found your true passion, and I love the way you segwayed into entrepreneurial and because that’s what the show is all about? But do you feel that once you are willing, and you’re almost able to embrace the discomfort that you have found your passion? Is that a good tip for people? If you’re coming back time and time again to something but other people would go? What the hell are you doing? Just go to work, get your paycheck and sit there. You’re waiting for lunchtime each day? Is that a good thing to look out for?
Kul Mahay [6:44]
Absolutely. I think I think I call it the purpose. And this is about finding what your why is so okay. You know, I get clients coming to me all the time, and they don’t know where it is that they want to get to what their goal is. So I help them through some goal setting techniques. And we discover what their goal is. But I want to say, you’re not going to get to your goal in the amount of time or if ever come to that, unless you understand what your why is, why is it that you want to achieve that goal? So what is your purpose in life? Why were you Why do you believe that you were put on this earth for? Now, this can be different for so many people, and everybody will have a different take on it. It could be as simple as you just want the perfect life for your family, or you want the best of health, or you want to make a change or a difference in your community, your local community, or like me, you could look for something huge, and I might my purpose, I believe, right down to my very core is that I want to change the world through the transformation of people. When you get that level of purpose and all the discomfort that you have to go through to achieve that goal to get to that goal. Means means very little because in the sense that you don’t notice at this conference so much because you’re driven by this, this fuel which is your purpose. And that’s what I think that’s why I think it’s so very important.
David Ralph [8:04]
So, obviously, you did a big stretch in the police force and you were there for 30 years. Was that your purpose? Or was that a job where you always somebody deep inside that was thinking, actually, I want to help people and the establishment I’m working in isn’t conducive to that.
Kul Mahay [8:23]
Yeah, here’s the thing. I mean, I thought I’d found my purpose. You know, from the age of 10 years old, I lived in a town called Wolverhampton in the UK, which is right in the Midlands, as you know, in the UK, and as you know, football is the national sport of this country. And every Saturday morning, I used to get crowds of people walking past my street to go to the football ground. I used to be fascinated, I just sit on the corner of the wall, the corner of the street rather, and I used to watch all these crowds going to the football ground. But it wasn’t so much the crowds that I was watching rather than the police officers and back in those days a police officers were huge. And these two were the, you know, the old traditional police uniform, the British police uniform. And I used to think God, these guys are here to protect, keep us safe to protect the community. And look how proud they look and look how professional they look. And I realised that because they were protecting the community, that’s where I wanted to do. And my desire has always been to help people to make a difference. And I did that I joined the police service. It was my passion at that time. But as I went through the police service, I started seeing things and experiencing things and then started asking myself a question around what my deeper purpose was, was this enough for me? Because yes, I was making a change in society a difference to society. I was helping people when they were at their lowest ebb, I was helping people to find justice. And but about five or six years ago, I sat down and I really looked long and hard at this. I’ve been on investigated murders, I’d lost count of how many dead bodies I’d seen. I’d actually lost count of how many post mortems I’d been to that I’d been present as a, as a an investigator. I’d been in the middle of riots. And I’d been I’d seen life at its lowest ebb. And I thought, am I really making a difference? All I seem to be doing is finding justice for people or trying to keep people safe. But am I changing people from the inside out? And that was my eureka moment, I guess, because then I realised I wasn’t changing enough people. And I wasn’t changing people enough for me to feel like I did achieve something. And that’s where the realisation came to me that one of the things that I’ve done throughout my service as a senior leader was to coach people. And I remember the joy and the pleasure that I used to get when people went through a breakthrough and achieve something that they previously thought was unachievable. And I thought, you know, this is what, it’s all about, it’s about coaching. It’s about transforming people’s mindsets. It’s about and if I could do that across the world, imagine how better a place the world could be. And that’s what started me on the journey of, you know, planning an exit strategy from the police service, which took four or five years, I went and got my qualifications, did part time courses, I started teaching coaching people outside of the police service gradually, and I had this day to my mind 31st of December 2014. That’s the day is that it’s going to be my last day in a uniform going into the police service. And the very next day, I will start as what I call myself now an international life change specialist. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now.
David Ralph [11:45]
Because what you did was quite remarkable, because so many people talk about the leap of faith, and it’s a thing that you know, jump off a cliff and make it up as you go along and all that kind of stuff. I always think that’s a stupid way of doing it now. I’ve been in To show for long enough now that I can see that if you do do it that way, you probably got more of a chance to achieve because you’re in such a panic mode of trying to get money in and trying to build things you literally hassling like a lunatic. What you did was the slider fight if you planned towards it, but it still comes to that point where and I sort of alluded to it in the introduction, but your first client comes through and says to you, I want to hire you. Did you go brilliant. I’m off to the races or did you go Oh, Blimey, right. Okay, I’ve really got to prove myself. It was all right in my head saying I was going to do base but now we’re actually doing it. Did you have a mentor sort of shift you had to go prove yourself? Oh, my goodness. Yes,
Kul Mahay [12:43]
I did. Absolutely. Because, you know, all I’d known if you if you recall, all my adult life was in this organisation. There was a very structured kind of organisation. You know, everything was planned for you. You will risk bonding to incidents. But you’ve also been proactive around stuff that you knew about because you’ve been in the organisation. So long. So and of course, I had huge teams, you know, several hundreds of people underneath me who were very, very good at what they did. I had a PA who organised me and I am one of the most disorganised people in the world. Suddenly, I’m out there in the wilderness. And these, this client has come to me and said, You know, they want to use my service, but services that I’ve traditionally never ever really done in anger, if you like, yeah. So I got this person coming to me and say, you know, I believe in you, and therefore I’ve come to you and I’m prepared to pay you money. And how did he?
David Ralph [13:42]
How did he find you so quickly? That’s a big question to ask, I suppose. So
Unknown Speaker [13:47]
Kul Mahay [13:48]
here’s the thing I’ve never ever marketed myself. So everybody that’s ever found me has found me either through my facebook or their family through word of mouth and I’m talking about people across right across To Middle East and Australia, you know, they have literally found me and I never I don’t actually market myself at all. So he had found me through a person that we both knew. And he, he had that level of faith in me. I think he’d never heard of hypnotherapy before, or he’d never really practised it before. So as far as he was concerned, this was something new for him. Why he didn’t realise was this is something really new for me. I’ve never done this with a client, you know, with a paying client before. And I guess one of the things that I’ve learned from the whole process is with your coaching and with your hypnotherapy and with your speaking, if the more confident you are in your abilities, the better hypnotherapist coach and speaker you will be Yeah. So you have to have that level of faith in yourself. I went on a course several months ago to learn how to do rapid induction hypnosis. This is To the kind of hypnosis that you sometimes see on stages, where rather than take 1015 minutes to, to put something in a in a in a nice trance through what we call an induction where, where we talk them through a process to get them to the best level of relaxation, you can actually do this in 15 to 20 seconds. So it’s called rapid induction hypnosis. And we will, as we went through the day, we were all practising. And of course, a lot of us didn’t believe that we could do this. So a lot of us were failing. Until we went through this, the trainer talked us through this mindset shift that we need to do to get to where we had that level of faith. And the moment had that level of faith. You know, I remember doing the same exercise with another, another person on the course. And I had him in hypnosis within 10 seconds. And I thought that’s incredible. It’s just about a power of self belief. And how could you then translate that power of self belief into any area of your life. And now when I coach and when I speak, and when I do hypnotherapy or when I write a book, I go through a practice of where I write down all the positive attributes and skill sets that I think I’ve got for this particular job to build that level of faith in myself again, and this is not about ego. This is about having confidence to do a job that you need to do to help somebody else.
David Ralph [16:28]
Oh, I agree with this. Totally. Absolutely, totally. I’ve been talking about this a few times over the last few episodes, that that ability to create something is great in your head. That ability to create something when you actually launch it to the world is hugely scary, even though you might have been planning for it for sort of six months beforehand, when you come to actually launch either that first blog post or that first podcast or whatever you’re doing. That is a big moment in your life. And little by little, you play a part and I serve Played apart for a good 4050 episodes, I was playing a kind of version of myself that I wanted to be, even though for years and years and years, you’ll get me in a room and I can tell you where you should be going with your life. And I can see it instantly I’ve got this, what I call a motivation rocket, I can fire it into anyone, and they just kind of explode in front of me, and I’d go off and get better jobs and stuff. But still, when I had that first client come to me, I didn’t have the competence. I’m realised now looking back, oh, but I was actually terrified of earning money in the very beginning, which it seems ludicrous because most people would go, Ah, you know, you become an entrepreneur. That’s what it’s all about. But I had to go through a hell of a journey. Now, I totally buy into the fact that no matter what people want to pay me I’m gonna take it because I know that I can provide the value back to them. And the more value that I’m taking from the world, the more value on our but to give back and it’s just a win win. It’s just foster family be myself and it fosters belief in them. You you feel the same way?
Kul Mahay [18:04]
Yeah, you’ve picked up some on two really really big issues there for me one is this whole thing around, you know entrepreneurs being frightened of, of asking for money and actually asking for the money that is represent a true value of what they offer. And and I’ve been in that situation myself, you know when I first started out in the in the coaching business in particular, people are coming up to me and say So okay, what do you charge? And I’d be like arming and hiring and thinking, well, for you, I might do it for X amount, you know, and you drop your price right down, just so you can get this customer or just so that you don’t feel too bad for charging them too much. But you would never charging your true value. And now I’ve come to realise that what my true value is, my true value is the value that I give to other people. So I’m measuring my value in two or three different ways. One is how much money have I invested in myself to be as good as I am right now, you know, that I think is a really good measure of what value you should be asking for when you get clients. And the second thing is, and this particularly applies to my speaking, the moment you start asking yourself, Am I good enough? Will they like me enough? Will I be popular enough? The moment you start asking those kind of questions, you’re actually coming from a very ego based kind of perspective. The money however, the moment you start asking yourself, will the audience or Will my clients have value or take value away from what I’m offering? Will? Will it change their lives? Have they learned something that that can help them move their lives forward, then you’re coming from a different perspective, you’re coming from a service of others perspective, and when you have that perspective, you actually do better you provide even better To value because you’re thinking about them. So you want to give them the maximum, you want to give them as much as you possibly can. So they can walk away and live better lives, much more fulfilled lives. And I think you end up doing the job better. Now, I’m doing this with my new membership site that I’m about to launch and I launch it to the day after my 50th birthday, I turned 50 on the 30th of June, and I’m launching this on the first of July. And I’ve just created this membership site that’s going to be packed full of courses and downloadable products and everything. And I just want to pack it with as much content as possible. And the guy who’s devising my website said to me, You need to have three membership levels. That’s what every entrepreneur seems to do. You need to have like a silver gold bronze, let’s call it and it’s silver. They get this service at a platinum or gold they get to you they chart you charge them higher rates and they get everything thing. And I sat back and thought about this. And I measured that against my purpose. And my purpose is to change the world through human transformation. And if I am going to have a tiered structure, then maybe I’m only appealing to those people who can afford to, to get that Platinum level and get the full service. And therefore, am I really living my true purpose? Because a couple of people that need it most probably are the people that can’t afford it the most. So I made this crazy decision, or he thinks it’s crazy. I don’t think it’s so crazy. And that’s the beauty of being an entrepreneur, entrepreneur, isn’t it, you can think for yourself, I made a crazy decision that the membership site is not going to be at $200 per month that he wanted me to have it. It’s going to be at $27 a month, less than $1 a day for everybody and everybody gets access to everything. And I feel good about that. Because I know the value that I’m offering is going to help people to change their lives, and therefore my passion behind it is going to make sure that the membership site and everything on that membership site is going to be even better Does that make sense?
David Ralph [22:01]
It does. And I’m gonna give you a round of applause, sir. Thank you
Kul Mahay [22:07]
David Ralph [22:08]
Because I come from that same perspective as well. I have got high end coaching platforms, I have got podcasters mastery where I teach people how to create a top show if I want to work with me one to one is going to cost more. But I have got a my my big passion is an academy that I’ve got called dream starters Academy, and on a daily basis, because I tell you what it is go. I absolutely know about. Most people can get going, as long as they have a place to nurture their dreams, a place where they can come and talk about stuff and people don’t go Oh, it’s never gonna happen. Oh, it’s stupid. So I’ve got this community which is growing quite nicely, very small. And I wanted it to be small because I wanted it to be a family. I wanted it to be a safe place. But I believe but if I had $1 a month, but I sold it on a scalable basis to a million people, then hey, you can’t do better. Is it better to do the one to a million? Or is it to do the 202 50? You know, and I think that you over deliver on the value, and you take everything you possibly can and you throw it into that platform, and then it starts selling itself. And absolutely, I agree with you. And so I think that Yeah, a round of applause. I totally agree with you guys as well. And I can see that the there’s certain products that you can do, which would have multi levels, and different sort of spin offs and stuff. I totally get that because what you don’t want to do is put all your eggs in one basket. So you want to have different products for different people and different choices. But providing value to the world is about making it as cheap as possible. With one caveat, I would say VAT people have to have skin in the game if you give it away for free Buy don’t use it. And I’ve seen that time and time again, where I’ve got products at such a low price that people have bought it. I mean, I never see him. And I think to myself, well, what’s the point? So it’s a kind of I don’t know, it’s a balancing. But as I say, round of applause to you, sir.
Kul Mahay [24:15]
Thank you very much, David. I think you’re absolutely right. In the sense that I mean, I’ve had some speaking events where I’ve organised some really incredible events where people have could have really taken away a lot of information, and we’ve made them free. So I’ve done this in collaboration with a couple of other guys. And we found that where we made them free are really, really cheap. People weren’t turning up, they paid for the tickets, but they didn’t turn up for the event. And we thought, How very strange why would you not turn up for an event that’s going to change your life, and it’s been at a ridiculously reduced price. You’ve paid for your ticket, but you don’t turn up. And we came to the conclusion was it was that they didn’t feel that they were losing out too much. By not turning up. And they also felt that the fact that it was so cheap, the value of it would probably be equally low. Yeah. And, and yet, the value was just as good as the same event that we held it in different parts of the country that was at a much higher price. And that was a really well attended event that got excellent feedback. So there is this thing around getting your pricing just right so that people know that they need to do something because they’ve invested in themselves, and that they recognise that the the amount that they’ve invested reflects the value that they’re going to get from whatever service or event that you’re putting on for them. And that this is the kind of stuff I’m learning because it’s so far removed from the police service. You know, where a you didn’t charge people for the service that you didn’t you delivered, you did it because it was a vocation. And this whole world of being an entrepreneur is so exciting because I’m having to think so differently. But the beauty of it is I can live my true passion and I am truly authentic in everything that I do now. And I know that I am changing the world. So how cool is that, you know,
David Ralph [26:10]
is super cool, as are the words of Jim Carrey. And you know, I’ve been building up to this cold, so I’m gonna play him again.
Jim Carrey [26:18]
He’s Jim, my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [26:45]
Now, I’m kind of interested in Bose words with your background because it looks to me that you come from sort of Asian descent, and normally you will find that there’s a huge ethic on Tea and education, certainly in the Asian communities, and that’s why we see so many chemists and doctors becoming sort of Asians. Now you’ve gone through 30 years of an established job, which I would imagine your mom and dad are quite proud of. And now you’ve thrown it into the air and you’re doing your own thing. Does that go against your culture? Does that is that a difficult step that you’ve had to make?
Kul Mahay [27:26]
I think the culture within the Asian community in the UK is changing quite a bit now. But there is still this undercurrent of you are still judged by the job that you do. And the jobs that are the most exclusive OR, or well thought of all those high level professional jobs. You know, the doctors are chemists, the the lawyers, and even engineers to some degree or another. I’m I lost because two of my brothers are doctors. To my sisters. This is yeah and and so I do come from this this family of science driven or you know, professionally driven individuals. When I joined the police service it was I was always different anyway I was I was one of seven everyone else went down the whole degree route and I left school with for all levels at the time and I threw myself into the police service at the age of 16. It was a passionate that at that time I applied to 26 police forces up and down the country. I had more passion for what I wanted to do than any of my brothers and sisters did at that time for what they wanted to do. So I was seen as being different amongst my siblings anyway. And I remember that to my brothers used to say to me You know, it’s a crazy job that I’d got myself into a it was dangerous Be it was seen as low level because you know, the pay was never going to be anywhere as good as a doctor. But when they started see me going through The ranks and I’ll tell you what drove me through the ranks. It was my passion, my passion for the police service at the time helped me get promoted, take the exams, go to the promotion, interviews, excel at the promotion interviews and go to the next level, and then do well in the next level. It was purely my passion that drove that level of success. But when they saw me going up through that level of success, then they started having this grudging respect for me, to the point that I became actually a temporary Chief Superintendent just before I retired. And they were amazed because I was in like the top elite senior officers of my police force. And when I gave it all up, to do this, what I’m doing now, they are equally stunned, perhaps most and because they don’t actually understand what it is that I do. They don’t understand what it means to coach people or to be a speaker. How do I get my events for speaking? Why did I write a book and what what is my book all about? I tell
David Ralph [29:55]
you what, my you should be a podcast and nobody understands what a bloody podcaster is.
Kul Mahay [29:59]
Exactly. Yes, you know, it’s this kind of stuff. But I actually love the fact that I’m doing something that my siblings don’t understand. And they’re very intelligent people. And but my success is speaking for itself. And that’s what’s really seems to, to, to stun them even more so that how can you be successful at something that’s not very clear, you know? And I love that. I love that.
David Ralph [30:24]
So when you look at those words that Jim said, but you might as well take a chance and doing something you love, and I kind of asked the same question time and time again now, but did you know you were going to love it as much as you obviously are, because you can hear it in your voice. This is your calling. And the title of this show is going to be finding his calling after 30 years, which was quite evident to me. Even before we actually started recording. I sort of wrote the title just going through your backstory. But do you look at those words and go Yes Kul Mahay, I have found my thing. But now because I am finding that thing, but true Law is coming, or did you find something that you love First of all, and then work towards it?
Kul Mahay [31:05]
No day, I thought I was going to enjoy this. I knew I wanted to do it. And this is what I think is so very important for anybody embarking on any kind of entrepreneurial plan. You’ve got to know why it is that you want to do what you do. So I knew my purpose, but I had absolutely no idea that I was going to joy in being enjoying it to this level of enjoyment that I’ve currently got at this moment in time, and I am in love with what I do. My partner might be a bit jealous about that, but I am totally and utterly in love with what I do. I love the fact that I’m reaching across through the airwaves sometimes to the opposite end of the world and doing something and I’m going to Bali in a few weeks time and whilst I’m over in Bali, I’m going to an orphanage where I’m I want to do some free motivational stuff and some coaching for the young kids. There. I would never have dreamt of having that level of reach and influence and capability before when I was in the police service, and yet I was in a very, very senior position with a lot of power and authority and responsibility. But here I am completely devoid of any boundaries, the hold me back from doing anything I want to do. And I can reach across the world and touch life across the world and change that person’s life. How incredible is that?
David Ralph [32:28]
Well, we shoot and that is the beauty of it. And we talk about this all the time. But literally, a company I believe now I believe at a company a business is so much easier than it used to be because you’re not trying to find clients within your town or your county, you can find clients across the globe. And I actually I have people from Australia. Where are we Australia a lot in America. We’ve gotten in not so many in the United Kingdom and I think it is because In the United Kingdom, people do not value people on their own doorstep. You know, somebody said to me, there’s no such thing as a local Prophet, which I think is true. You go over to Bali and they go, Ah, it’s amazing. This foreigner has come to our town, just up the road from you. They’re just go, is there some bloke around the corner there’s there’s that there isn’t that kind of, I don’t know, understanding of what you can bring to the world, certainly in the United Kingdom, I don’t find but
Kul Mahay [33:26]
I absolutely agree with you. And I think it’s very sad for an advanced country, a country as advanced as the UK, to have this, this underbelly of the undercurrent of culture, where we don’t value each other to the extent that we could do or be that we don’t open our minds to all the potential that is out there. That could really change the way that we think and the way that we do what we do and therefore change the outcomes in our in our lives. And I find that most of my English clients or They asked about how much it cost to start off with. Those are one of their first questions rather than how could it transformed my life, whereas all the international clients seem to be focused more on the the outcome as opposed to the cost of the service that I’m providing. And I find that this is a very strange thing that and it’s probably unique to the United Kingdom.
David Ralph [34:23]
What is it then about the United Kingdom that makes it unique? Because Yeah, I have coaching courses. And more often than not, if somebody from the United Kingdom contacts me, they will always say to me, ah, because I’m an English person as well, you know, what about a discount? What about this? Or what about that? Yeah, yeah, I never get that at all from across the globe. They just say, what’s your price, I tell them my price. And they always come back to me afterwards and go. Now I’ve seen what you’ve delivered to me, I would have paid twice, which I kind of figure Oh, I wish you told me at the beginning, but of course, I’m happy with the value that I’m providing. So why do you think that it is that the United Kingdom are, you know, we’re gonna say so bellboy mentality, which won’t mean anything across the world. But they’re kind of I don’t know,
Unknown Speaker [35:08]
that I don’t think that one
Kul Mahay [35:10]
out, but I, you know, I, I look at our American cousins, and they are so different in the way that they think, to how people in the UK thing. And I just wonder if it’s something to do with the whole stiff upper lip attitude that we have, we don’t show our emotion so much. We don’t share our emotion so much. Whereas if you look at the Americans, they’re very expressive and very emotional. I’m very open to new ways of thinking. And I just wonder if that’s the subtle difference that it goes back iams and it’s something to do with our our less openness to our feelings to expressing our feelings and being open to new ideas.
David Ralph [35:51]
Because people just always said when I was younger, growing up, keep your head down, work hard. And now I think the worst thing you can do is keep your head down. You’ve got to be looking up and seeing opportunities. You keep your head down, all you’re looking at is your feet, look up to the sky and see what’s going on. And I think there is a celebration that you get from places like America and Australia where they, they they celebrate people that are doing well. Were we in the United Kingdom? We always like the football team that hasn’t got any chance. Oh, yeah, we’re going to support them because they’ve got no chance of winning, which is a strange way of doing it. Really?
Kul Mahay [36:28]
Yeah, isn’t it just I know so many people who, when they were just starting out in business, they said they had more support when they’re starting out in business, because they were the underdog. And that was nice at the time. But the moment they started becoming successful, they found that all these people that were supporting them when they were starting their business suddenly stopped talking to them, because they were becoming more envious or jealous or whatever it might be. And I don’t get that why would you support a team that’s the underdog or a person that is the underdog to the point that they start becoming? successful and then you stop supporting them, because you want to support a new underdog. I don’t know if that’s a positive or negative, but there is something around how genuine them for therefore are we when we support ventures and people and teams in the way that we think, which is so vitally important that people in the world today buy into, say, your coaching platform, it’s not the training as such, it’s the environment that they can put themselves in.
David Ralph [37:28]
They can surround themselves with people that believe the same things and they’re not sitting there in the pub, having a few drinks with people who are going, it’s never gonna work, go on just have another pint, they’re looking at things. Now I I have a lot of guys that contact me. And they are predominantly at that point that they’re realising but the world of freaks around them and what I mean by that is, they’re trying to change the situation. They’re trying to change their livelihoods. They’re trying to change their income and all that People that they’ve grown up with just don’t get it, they sort of just, and they contact me and go, what do you think I should do? Do I cut them all off? Or do I, you know, try to convert them to my way of thinking. And more often than not, I say, No, just cut them off. Just cut them off and leave yourself space because your next group of friends, your next group of competence will come in to that area. I call it the success vacuum, where if you leave the vacuum, other things are going to come in and fill that space. And little by little, you realise that those people that you were hanging around with, just because it was convenient, you met them at work, you live five minutes down the road from them. They are the people that are anchoring you to the past. Now I think with the global setup that we can do, there is no reason for anyone to feel that they’ve got to be surrounded by people they know they can create that environment for themselves currently.
Kul Mahay [38:55]
I think that’s so powerful. What you just said there. I mean, I think it’s Jim Rohn that once said, you become the average average of the five people whose company keep most Yeah. Now if you’re still anchored to the people from your past, because they were, I don’t know your work colleagues or childhood friends or even members of your family, but their thinking is so negative or is so low compared to where you want to aspire towards, you’re only ever going to be your average is only ever going to go downwards. So I have a little rule that I surround myself with people who are doing better than I am, but also have the right mindset. You know, people positive people who are doing really well because then my average can only go upwards. And like yourself, I become very ruthless, really around the company that I choose to keep it or who isn’t within my circle. Now, even members even if they are members of my family, if they are naysayers, if they are negative people if they are have negative energy about them, if they are what I call mood Hoover’s they suck your energy out of you because they’re constantly negative, you know, the type that I mean. Yeah, I always liken them to, I think they call the dementors in the Harry Potter film, where they come and they suck your soul out of your mouth. I liken them to that because they, when you leave these kind of people, you feel exhausted. And I say the reason why you feeling exhausted when you interact with these negative people is because they’ve sucked drained you of energy. Now, energy that we have around us is something that takes us months and months, if not years to build up and to get to the right level. You would not walk around the streets with your wallet wide open and saying to anybody take that money out of my wallet. So why would you do that with your energy? you’ve invested in yourself heavily to get your energy to where it is now. So if you’re going to surround yourself with negative people and allow them to just freely plug into you and drain your energy, then actually you’re being very very self sabotaging. And it’s very portant that you move in the circles of positive people like minded people, people who are going to support you, people who are going to push you and people who are going to encourage you and sometimes hold you to account on your dreams than people who are going to diss your dreams or people who are going to put your dreams down or tell you that you’re never going to be able to achieve them.
David Ralph [41:20]
That is brilliant, as simple as that. I’ve never heard it said like that. But it is an energy wallet, isn’t it? You? Yeah, protect it. You look after it. And then you allow people to dip in who deserve it. It’s like yeah, giving to charity, I suppose. But it’s your own energy. And I’m very lucky I do this as a living so I’m surrounded by 600 people. And so when I have my real downtimes and in the entrepreneurial world, it’s not all rosy. It’s not and you’d be working very late at night doing something and you’re create a product that you think is gonna fly. Even when your your clients have told you they want it and it just doesn’t he just doesn’t sort of go where you want it to be. But because I’m surrounded by people. But I think see, yeah, coals done that. There’s no reason why mine won’t work. It’s just that it wasn’t the right angle. He’s done. Absolutely. How’s he done it, and you can model yourself, you can look at how other people are doing it, not to copy them, because that’s a bad thing. But to actually model what is successful and look at it and understand the structure which builds success. So surrounding yourself is so important, but not as important as protecting your energy wallet. I love that.
Kul Mahay [42:35]
Absolutely. And I absolutely lived my life by this to be honest. I didn’t when I was in the police service, because I was surrounded by people that I had to work with. And I was surrounded by situations that I had to deal with. So I had little control over it at that time. But one of the things that I realised when I became this free entrepreneur is that I actually have control over my life and it took me a long time to really Understand that I had full control over my life. And so I could live life on my terms. And I was writing my book last year, I wrote a book last year called master habit, and it was about all the habits I’ve given up in my life. And I’ve dealt with, as you said, In the introduction, everything from chocoholics, route alcoholics and structures, and now biters. And I looked at the common themes within habits, and one of the things that I noticed was that one of the reasons that we create a number of habits are either to fit in, you know, when you’re drinking and you’re smoking, you want to look cool, you want to fit in with a crowd. And if you think about it, if you if you are surrounded by a company of beggars, or a company of thieves or a company of drug takers, the chances are that you’re likely to become like them. Because you become the company that you keep. And and that’s how habits are formed. So if you do something 20 times, I say becomes habit, if you keep the company of somebody who’s negative, and you listen to them, are you more likely to become that negative person yourself after a certain amount of time? Will that not be your new mindset habit? But if you keep the company of somebody who has zest zesty, who’s somebody who’s a creative thinker, somebody who goes up and grabs what they want out of life and is very entrepreneurial, and you keep their company enough, do you think some of that might rub off onto you? Might you not stop being like that person? So it’s as simple as that, you know, it becomes like a habit. So if you want to the good habit in life, then do good things, be with good people learn, you know, if you want to look good and feel good and fit in fitting with the right people don’t fit in with the wrong people. It’s as simple
David Ralph [44:46]
as that for me. I reckon your next book, I’m still reflecting I read and it should be called the energy wallet. I think that is that tagline. It really is it. As soon as you said it to me, I thought yeah, there’s something there. There’s something
Kul Mahay [45:01]
I like that I might, I’m gonna write that down. Actually, David. And I might think about that I’m actually writing a book at the moment around, it’s going to be called failing your way to success. And it’s going to talk about all the mistakes I’ve made in my life and why it was so important that I made those mistakes. Because you know what, here I am now doing something that I love being very successful in what what I do, I was still successful in the police service, and yet I have failed. If I were to just look at my failures, I could call myself a failure in life and yet the outcomes in my life have been quite successful. So failing is very, very important in our lives. And so many of us give up because we failed anyway. Absolutely.
David Ralph [45:43]
Yeah. Well, well, let’s play some words that really touch on that perfectly. You’ve said in the UK way, this guy is gonna say in the US way, Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs [45:52]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [46:27]
Now, I listened to those words every day. And that hit home to me there because it just backed up what you were saying.
Kul Mahay [46:34]
Yeah. Wow. And and to be put in the same show, as Steve Jobs is just incredible. But yeah, what powerful words and you can only look back in life and connect up your dots, as Steve said, but you’ve got to have some level of faith in the future as well. You know, and that’s what I have. I have faith in my future. And I think to get that faith in the future, you’ve got to have the fuel in your tank to give you the energy To have the commitment to take the action that is necessary for the outcomes that you deserve. And the fuel in your tank, for me, is the definition of what your true purpose in life is. You can look at that from a spiritual perspective, and deeply spiritual. But you could look at it from a psychological perspective or a philosophical perspective. What was what was your reason for being on this earth? Is it to be that the ideal father, the ideal mother, the ideal friend, the ideal person in the community, who makes a difference, the ideal teacher, the ideal, professional, in whatever context it is, or is it for you to change the world, he really doesn’t matter. Because that level of passion will be the same in everyone. It gives the same amount of energy and everyone providing it’s deep within that person. And that is your fuel to, to, to, you know, to to create unbelievable things in the future as I see it.
David Ralph [47:55]
So when you look back at your life in the words of Steve Jobs, and I generally aren’t This question as well all the time, but it’s a great one. Is it a big.in your life when you go Yeah, actually, that was that was it? That was a moment when I realised that my life was never gonna be the same again.
Kul Mahay [48:12]
Yeah, that moment for me was when I sat. And a couple of years ago now, I just gone through a divorce. I was sitting in a tiny one bedroom flat behind a barber shop in a very tiny town. And I was reflecting on life and thinking, Oh my God, I’ve looked at all the mistakes I’ve made. I’m now divorced, and I’m living by myself. And you know, and what, what, what does the future look like? Am I ever going to be in a relationship? Will I ever be successful? Can I ever make something of myself look at the dingy place that I’m living in at this moment in time? What a failure I’ve been in my life. And that was the that was the thought that I had at that time. But then, a friend phoned me just at that moment, and when Did a public conversation and without any sort of request from me or any sort of me divulging what I’d been thinking. He said to me says, Kali says, I look at you. And he says, and I think how exciting your life really is. He said, I know you’re going through a tough time at the moment, he said, but I also know that you smile your way through everything is I’ve seen you through tough times through many, many times in your life, and you’ve always managed to smile your way through it isn’t that that characteristic that you’ve got is unique, and it’s so powerful and so contagious? It is, but I also think that it’s you have a very exciting life. It says, because when I listened to you dreaming about what your future is going to look like, he says, I actually believe that you will do what you do what you say you will do. And at that time, I was dreaming about you know, doing exactly what I’m doing right now travelling the world and making a difference and having coaching clients from around the world writing books and getting on stages and speaking to people And, and it made me realise that this guy has that level of faith even when I’m at my lowest ebb without me telling him that I was at my lowest. And he knows that I’m destined for greatness. And he knows I’m destined for something much bigger than this. I need to have that level of faith in myself, rather than beat myself up. And that was a revelation for me. And since then, every time I have a down day, as entrepreneurs do, because things don’t work out always as you want them to, and you have to fail 1000 times to be successful that one time. But every time I do have those days, I listen to my body. And if my body’s saying, you know what, chill out, just don’t do anything today. Just chill out and think I do that. If it means meditating, I’ll just meditate. If it means getting up at four o’clock in the morning to crack on and do some work. I’d get up at four o’clock in the morning and crack on and do some work, but it’s never like getting up at four o’clock in the morning to go to work. That was a wholly different feeling because I know Now see the alarm clock has an opportunity clock as opposed to an alarm clock, I get up full of energy, when I’m focused. And I know that, you know, four o’clock in the morning, I need to do this. And sometimes I’ve worked from four o’clock in the morning forgotten to eat and finished working in my office at 11 o’clock at night, I now live in a beautiful house, you know, compared to the little flat I was living in only two years ago, my life has transformed I have an amazing girlfriend in my life who supports me completely in everything that I do. And I think when you open up your energy to the world, and and really connect with the world, the whole law of attraction thing does kick in, you know, you have to believe it. You have to expect it. You have to visualise it have it crystallised in your mind. But then you have to take action as well. And that’s where a lot of people do fail.
David Ralph [51:49]
Yeah, Love it. Love it. I miss your next book, the opportunity clock. You’ve got the energy wallet, the opportunity club, there’s gonna be a whole bookshelf you’re gonna be this
Unknown Speaker [51:58]
the jacket right here. David?
David Ralph [52:00]
Yeah, absolutely. Well, this is the part of the show that we’ve been building up to. And this is the part that we called a sermon on the mind when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Carl, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the theme tune. And when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [52:28]
We go with the best bit of the show.
Kul Mahay [52:46]
So if I were to go back in time and talk to a certain age of myself, I guess it would be that 10 year old child, the one that used to sit on the on the wall at the corner of our street and looking at all of these people going to the floor. match. And, and I would say to that person, you’ll feel more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. You’re more loved than you realise. And there are more people out there who could love you and that you could touch. And your mind is incredibly powerful. Understand that your mind is more powerful than you will perhaps ever realise in your life. And everything in life is possible. Don’t let anybody tell you any different everything is possible if you want to go to become a prime minister of the country or the President of the United States. You know, you can do that. You just have to take the right action and have the right mindset. Find your purpose, find out what it is that really gets you excited inside, you know, at the very deepest level find it, find out what it is what makes you the happiest? What makes you the saddest, what one thought occupies your mind every single day. And finally, I would say to say to me that if you truly want a fulfilled life, you have to live a life of fulfilment, and decide what that looks like.
David Ralph [54:12]
Perfect. Do you know every single day, I wake up and I think of Join Up Dots before anything that isn’t, that’s my first fall. During the day, I literally can’t switch off, which is a failing, because you know, you need to have those moments when you just leave it all behind. But I agree with you totally. If you’ve got that fall, and it’s the last fall at night, the first fall in the morning and whatever. And it’s kind of like your body’s compass, wherever you keep on going back to is a good indication of where you should be heading.
Kul Mahay [54:43]
Absolutely. And I think you know what, you could have a lot of worse thoughts than thinking about your passion, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. So it’s no bad thing. I get told off of it all the time by my girlfriend, you know, only last night we were just about a lot Another business and I was saying to her, can we just spend half an hour just talking about having a new business and where we want to take it and do some visualisation. And she’d had a tough time. She’s a schoolteacher, she’d had a really long day. She does private tuition as well afterwards. She’s quite entrepreneurial in her in her own way. But she was absolutely exhausted. And she really was not in the mood for it, and I couldn’t get it. And then I realised that hang on a minute, sometimes you just need to slow down and you need to stop. But I have to say when we went to bed, the last thing I did think about was all the stuff that I’m doing in my business and looking at some future speaking events that I’m trying to, you know, organise and I went to bed quite excited and woke up quite excited this morning because of course, one of the first things I had was this interview.
David Ralph [55:45]
brilliant, brilliant. This is what life is all about, Sir, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Kul Mahay [55:52]
Okay, so the best way to connect with me is through my website, which is www dot coalmine a.com Obviously, you’ll you’ll have the spread spelling here on the Join Up Dots. But that’s the best way, send me an email, connect with me. I want to connect with as many people around the globe as possible because I want to touch every single life that I possibly can around the world. And you will do it,
David Ralph [56:17]
no doubt. Thank you so much for spending time with us today and joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our paths is the best way to build our futures. Mr Kul Mahay thank you so much.
Kul Mahay [56:32]
huge pleasure. Thank you very much, David.
David Ralph [56:37]
So 30 years in the same job, and he has changed 360 he is he’s lit up. You can hear it. If you go over to his website, coma high and you sort of just have a look around. It’s the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. He loves what he’s doing. He knows his clients love what he’s doing. And it just, it gets him in that flow button. seconds fly past months fly past years fly past because you’re just doing what you want to be doing. And if you are in a corporate gig where I’ve got to go there today and ours dragon two years and years drag into decades, then you need to look at when was the last time you smiled. When was the last time you felt excited because believe me, as we talked about time and time again on Join Up Dots. That is a reason why we want the planet. We’re here to smile, enjoy ourselves, and provide value to the world. Thank you so much for listening to this show. Thank you so much for being there. And thank you so much for all the communication that we’re getting on Twitter, and on Facebook and the emails we get. I read every single one and I do try to respond to every single one personally, you’re the reason why I’m doing this. I believe that every single one of you will go out and get a dream. You just need to start. Thanks very much. Cheers. Bye
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you or wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.