Welcome to the Join Up Dots Podcast with Remy Blumenfeld
Subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Introducing Remy Blumenfeld
Todays guest joining us on the Join Up Dots podcast is a man who believes that life is one big game.
We are here to create an amazing life, leave a legacy and do it all with purpose, grace and ease.
Spending his day coaching leaders to do just that, fuelled by innovation and creativity his in arenas such as Arts and Culture, media, television, film, fashion and advertising.
His clients include directors of national arts organizations, worldwide ad agencies and a wide range of entrepreneurs.
Now as most of our guests share time and time again, his working career didn’t start with where he is today.
Starting his career as a TV presenter in the USA, he launched his first TV Production company out of his bedroom.
He sold it eight years later to the world’s largest production company where it became the producer of Big Brother.
How The Dots Joined For Remy
He has served the board of Endemol UK and later the board of ITV Studios where he was director of Formats.
There he was responsible for shows from Come Dine With Me to I’m A Celebrity.
Remy has twice been ranked in the top twenty most influential gay people in the UK by the Independent on Sunday.
As he says “It hasn’t always been easy. In my thirties:
- I was diagnosed with a life threatening illness
- Lost a high-paying job
- Founded two companies – both failed.
- I saw my 14-year romantic partnership flounder and dissolve.
So you can see he has an eclectic career and life, touching many key areas, but it seems to me at it’s core is people.
He is a man who know what connects people across the world.
What drags them into the collective experience of shared experience.
So has he loved every part of his career, or was it simply as case of building to where he is today?
And why does he think that the world “play” is more often than not forgotten once we get into the world of adulthood?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Remy Blumenfeld.
During the show we discussed such deep weighty subjects with Remy Blumenfeld such as:
What are the biggest regrets of people who are on their death bed?
Why there is such a growing movement to share real experiences in the world, instead of what we see on Social Media.
Remy shares the reasons why he first went into TV, and why he felt that he was not good enough.
Why friendship should be something that you trust with your life, although so many of us class acquaintances in the same way.
How To Connect With Remy Blumenfeld
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Interview Transcription Of Remy Blumenfeld Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Yes, hello there. Good morning. Well, thank you so much for being here on the Join Up Dots podcast, delivering common communication, conversation, inspiration. I never know what we’re going to get, which makes it so exciting. But today’s guest funnily enough, is about a stone’s throw away from me. Yes, I’m in Essex in the United Kingdom, which is where all the the nice ladies hang out. And he’s in Kenya, where all the posh ladies hang out. So we literally could do this live. Well, he is a guy who I suppose he believes that life is one big game. We’re here to create an amazing life leave a legacy and do it all with purpose grace and ease. Spending these days coaching leaders to do just fat fueled by innovation and creativity in arenas such as Arts and Culture, Media and television, film, fashion and advertising. He’s on these game. He’s clients include directors of national arts organisations, worldwide ad agencies and a wide range of entrepreneurs. Now, as most of our guests share time and time again, he’s working career didn’t start with where he is today. starting his career as a TV presenter in the USA. He launched his first TV production company out of his bedroom, and he sold it eight years later to the world’s largest production company, where he became the producer of Big Brother. Yes, served the board of MMO UK and later the board of ITV studios where he was director of formats and there he was responsible for shows from come dine with me, I hey, come dine with me, and I’m a celebrity. Now he’s twice been ranked in the top 20 most influential gay people in the UK by the independent On Sunday, but as he says it hasn’t always been easy. In my 30s I was diagnosed with a life threatening illness lost a high paying job. Founded two companies both failed and I saw my 14 year romantic partnership flounder and dissolved. So you can see he’s had an eclectic career and life and touching many key areas. But it seems to me at its core, is interested in people. He’s a man who knows what connects people across the world what drags them into the collective experience of shared experience. So has he loved every part of his career? Was it simply because of building it to where he is today? And why does he think that the word play is more often than not forgotten once we get into the world of adulthood? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show, to start Join Up Dots with the one and only Remy Blumenfeld. Good morning, Remy, how are you?
Remy Blumenfeld [2:51]
I’m really well and you know, there really is only one. Remy Blumenfeld. There is a cat called Remy Blumenfeld in Paris, but otherwise
I’m the one and only Remy Blumenfeld. So you can find me easily on LinkedIn and Facebook.
David Ralph [3:05]
Youve done well, you have done well because I say this all the time and it really winds me up. But the but the most famous David Ralph isn’t me. Oh no, it’s not. It’s a man who spends all these time playing with men’s dangly bits. he’s a he’s a professor of neurology and penile dysfunction. And if you google David Ralph, yeah, it’s not me. It’s all about men’s with ease and stuff. That is a little bit weird. I thought you were gonna say he’s the guy who did puppetry of the penis when you started talking about men’s dangly bits, but actually a urologist is perhaps even less interesting and fun. Well, I’m glad to be speaking to this David Ralph and not the other one. Yeah, I know. He wouldn’t know the right buttons to press to make all this work. He knows different buttons to press. So So let’s jump into it with the word play because I am fascinated with the word play because it’s basically what I do. I do every day. The more fun I have, the more money I make basically but for many, many years I was in the corporate grind and my playful attitude was contrary to what they wanted. And more often than not promotions went elsewhere because I didn’t think I was serious because I always found the fun way to do it. Is it still a big problem across the world?
Remy Blumenfeld [4:19]
Yeah, it’s huge. And you know, I love the whole concept of your podcast based on Steve Jobs quote about looking backwards at the dots. And I think a really powerful way to engage with this idea of Klay. David is to to look at what are the biggest regrets that people have on their deathbed, right when they’re looking in the final rearview mirror of their life. And there was a wonderful palliative care nurse called brawny, where she’s Australian, and she wrote a book called five top regrets of the dying because she had met so many people through that final days and hours. And the number one regret is I wish I’d had more fun, right. There are others which kind of always feed into that, like, I wish I hadn’t spent so long at the office, I wish I hadn’t tried so hard to conform to other people’s ideas of who I should be. I wish I’d spent more time with the people I loved. And all of those really are about about joy and about being who we would like to be not who other people tell us to be. And your example is great, because, you know, when you’re working in a corporate structure very often you need to be who other people want you to be. And that very often, Rob’s joy, because, you know, God forbid, everyone should be joyous in a corporation. Right? So it’s weird, though, just jumping in, but the biggest people on their deathbed wasn’t right, they’re dying. And that that would be my number one. I would think, you know, I wish I wasn’t dying. That would be my number one wish. Well, yeah, but maybe you’re a fantasy.
I mean, the thing is, you know, when you’re on your deathbed, you know, and, and the people she was nursing either had terminal illnesses, or very old or both. And so they didn’t, they were dying. And I think, you know, you started by introducing me as someone who has faced my own mortality. And I can tell you, that when I when I was facing my own mortality, my biggest regret wasn’t that I was dying, because that’s what the doctor said I was. And I believe that that was happening. It was more around, wanting to make sure that I was surrounded by the people that I loved and, and just jumping right back to that spot, you know, what became really clear to me then age 35, was that all the things that I thought mattered, which were around, having, you know, like, my house, my car, doing like my job, my programmes, I’ve made my award that was completely unimportant. on my deathbed, completely unimportant, all that mattered. Only thing that mattered was who I loved, and who loved me. Nothing else
David Ralph [6:50]
mattered. I agree with this, I I had a heart attack, Oh, I thought I had a heart attack, it was stress. And as I was coming home, I literally thought to myself, this is the end. And the only thing that I could think about was I wasn’t going to see my kids grow up. And and I didn’t care about anything else. Money, money wasn’t there or career prospects, it was just thinking about going to see my kids. And as it turned out, it was just stress and I overcome it. But I was convinced about
Remy Blumenfeld [7:17]
well, it’s so important to have those experiences and seems like you had them a couple of times that work realising You know, this isn’t fun, this isn’t play, this isn’t joyous. And you had it with your heart attack, where you kind of recognised what was really important to you. And it’s very easy to go through life not really engaging with what really matters to us, because we’re fed from a very early age ideas of what should matter like little children are taught that who they are is what they have, you know, I am this doll I am this truck I am this toy. And and they’re taught that who they are is what they do. I am this little potato print drawing, or I am this essay I wrote, or I am the part I played in the school. And parents do that to you know, to their children, they share love through, let me buy you something, let me buy you a toy. Let me take you to the zoo. Let’s play a game and doing stuff. Let let’s go out and play. And all we really are in life is sentient beings. We want to be an experience and feel and connect. And that’s not to do with doing and having. But you know, if I met you in a bar, and you said Who are you? And I said, I’m a joyous person who loves my family? Well, knowing you, David, you probably would think that was a successful life. Yeah. Right. But yeah, but a lot of people will go, Okay, so what do you do? Where do you live? What car do you drive? You know, how much money do you have? That is the way that we’re taught to evaluate success
David Ralph [8:44]
is not changing Remy? Because I think yes, yes, the people that I surround myself with, but people now seem to be very much more. If I’d ask the same question the pre years ago, you know, I’ve been doing this six years now. And if I did it three years ago, go, it was very much about Hustle, Hustle, Hustle, and everything it was about, you know, that next big opportunity. But now those same people that I speak to tell me about long holidays, and lovely sun shines, and you know, and it seems to be a collective experience that people seem to be going for now. But with a caveat. I do know, they’ve got to the point that I don’t have to worry about money, which is where the big issues happen, isn’t it?
Remy Blumenfeld [9:27]
Yeah, I mean, I think you know, such a big topic that that probably needs to be broken down. But I think in terms of what you’re saying is a trend. I think that’s definitely true. I think there’s much more acknowledgement, that there are other things that are important in life other than material success and status. Absolutely, absolutely. And, you know, I see that, obviously, with my clients, and I see it in the wider world. And you also make a very good point that you and I have both somewhat removed ourselves from the world where those values are prevalent. And I think, you know, one really important takeaway for people listening is, whatever it is, that’s important to you, whatever your values are, whatever you believe in, you know, whether nature is important to you, or whether time alone is important. Surround yourself with people who have those same values, because otherwise you go, you know, it’s just, it’s just exhausting, right? You know, when I see people from my old corporate life, they’re so obsessed with kind of status and promotion and money, that when I say to them, I’m not, I’m not busy, but they say to me, you must be really busy, because their idea of a successful coach is someone who’s frantically busy because their idea of success is being frantically there. Yeah. And I go, you know, actually, I’m not busy. And I’ve designed my life to not be busy. I have a small number of clients who I take on any time and I, I really value having free time. And I really value having time for myself and the people I love. And they look at me like, well, if you’re not being paid for your time, then you can’t be successful. Right? You know, every hour, you’re not being paid every your free time must mean that you’re that’s unpaid time and unpaid time is unsuccessful. And I know that that’s not an argument I’m ever going to win with them. Not that it’s really an argument. Yeah, but you can
David Ralph [11:16]
jumping in there, you can win that because you can point to say, like, Brad Pitt. Now he can’t, he can’t be busy all the time, Kenny. He just does a film. But he’s, he’s paid very well for it, you know? And all these celebrities, they’re not out there, hustling all the time, are they? So why? That lower level of career ladder climbing? Do people think that it’s all about hustle when it’s not about quality and playing to your strengths?
Remy Blumenfeld [11:45]
I’m with you. And I agree. And yet, I still think it’s important, as you say, to surround yourself with people who, like you are now with your podcast, like I am in my coaching practice with people who sort of share your worldview. Because when you are within a large corporation, or you’re playing a different game, you need to perhaps to have different values to fit in and to make life work. Because, you know, if earning a lot of money and having a corner office and a great title isn’t important to you, then why are you there? You know, so I think it’s one of those things. I mean, certainly what interests me is your analogy of Brad Pitt, because it’s a good one, and I should I should draw on it. Because a lot of my clients are actually really successful, you know, they’re successful to the point where they, they don’t need to work some of them if they didn’t want to. And yet, it doesn’t seem to me that the more successful they become, in the eyes of themselves or the world, the less they feel like they have to devote to work. In fact, it’s almost the reverse. It’s like, once they’re on that wheel, it’s very hard to get up when you live in a world where your values are doing and having, stepping off that treadmill of doing and having to a world of being which is really a world of nothingness. I mean, it’s a world of everything. But it’s also welcome. Because there’s no schedule, there’s no structure, there’s just you and the world can be an is often really, really scary. Really scary.
David Ralph [13:09]
Yeah, I can see that. Because even I say I’m flexibly regimental. So basically, I have certain days that I work. It’s like my first days is my podcasting day. And that’s not open to question I get here at seven o’clock in the morning, and I will be here beyond seven o’clock tonight. It’s a very long day. But the other days, I structure my life, but I don’t have any inconveniences. If I want to work I can do and if I don’t, I don’t want to, you know, I can do whatever I want. Now, with your successful people, they’ve got to know surely that less is more, where we see that time and time again. But the real successful people zone in on that 20% maybe they zone in on that 5% that I do like geniuses, you know, me, I kept getting asked to time and time again, what’s the biggest thing that you’ve learned from interviewing nearly 2000 people? And I said to them, 99% of them are complete idiots at 95%. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant 5%. You know, they can’t use email, they can’t create websites, they can’t. But what they do, they do amazingly. And so they do that all the time, and they get everybody else to do the other stuff. That’s got to be common sense, isn’t it?
Remy Blumenfeld [14:30]
I think that is true. And yet it doesn’t necessarily overspill to how you organise your time. So, you know, first of all, congratulations on making your life work in the way that you do, where you carve out time for yourself and your family. By working healthfully either on one day, a week, you know, if you look at most people’s productivity in terms of what they actually do in the day, if they’re employed by someone else, or even by themselves, they’re really not that productive, you know, the between social media and phone calls and lunch and whatever else goes on in the day meetings that that’s so much time is taken up. And a lot of us could actually do what you’ve done and streamline your life into one intense day with a lot of freedom. But it is scary. So even though what you say is true, and that most people are really good at 5% and not interested or engaged with the rest of the 95%. And in this world, you know, it’s increasingly like that, because it’s a we live in a world where specialists thrive because there’s no room for generalists anymore. Because everything in a digital world is an inch wide and a mile deep. So everything you’re saying makes sense. But it doesn’t necessarily follow on that those people have a life of balance. And the first thing I do with a new client is I get them to fill out fill out this really cool wheel of life. And I’d love you to do it when we finished you can find it at fidelity guru, it’s just some questions you answer about yourself satisfaction you regular satisfaction in 12 different areas of your life from personal fitness, fun, travel, adventure, romance, intimacy, friendship, etc. And of course, Korea and money are on there on that wheel. And then what comes back to you, instantly by email, once you’ve answered the questions, is a graphic wheel of your life as a circle, and you see where you’re out of balance. And it’s a little bit like a blood test, but for your life rather than your blood. So if you went to a GP and you said, you know, I’m feeling a little tired, they do a blood test. And they might say, you know what, David, you’re a little bit low on iron. And if you just eat some more chocolate and spinach, you should be fine and take these iron tablets. Well, in life coaching, that’s where I start is looking at, if you’re not feeling completely excited and satisfied by where you’re at, if you don’t feel fulfilled, and you don’t quite know why. Just doing a wheel of life to see where your life is out of balance right now is important. It’s very hard to be in balance in all those areas at any one time. You know, I can’t think of a moment in my life when I’ve picked up an award, had sex with my partner been to the gym, at you know, all on the same week, let alone day, you know. So when you’re focusing on one area, whatever the area is, I’m sure there was a time when you were trying to build your podcast when you were focusing on that more, and then other things in your life fall away. And that’s fine, that’s understandable. But it’s just about living a life of balance. And I think it’d be really interesting, you know, you’ve interviewed so many people, I would love to see the wheel of life for each of them to see where they’re out of balance. But the one thing I can pretty much guarantee is that very, very few of them would have given themselves the same level of satisfaction in every area of their life.
David Ralph [17:51]
Yeah, I agree with you, I agree with you. And and it doesn’t count. If every time I have sex I give myself an award does Does that help?
Remy Blumenfeld [18:00]
I always do that. And you know, since no one else is going to give me an award for it. I think Yeah, give yourself an award and just stack them up. I always found that statistic really depressing that I was told way back when you know that at the beginning of a relationship. If you put a jelly bean in a jar, every time you have sex, then for the next 50 years, if you take one out every time you’ll still have jelly beans left, I just thought that was really a terrible statistic. And in my experience hasn’t been true. But yeah, yourself in a ward.
David Ralph [18:29]
Kids, I tell you what, I think that’s spot on. I think it’s been, as are these words. He’s Jim Carrey,
Unknown Speaker [18:35]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [19:02]
Now, let’s take you back in time, like we do on Join Up Dots to the times when you’re standing up and you’re you’re winning these awards and you’re being glorified. And people are sort of praising you. And I say that because
Remy Blumenfeld [19:15]
let’s not let’s not overtake the put it you know, now
David Ralph [19:19]
I’m over. Because I’ve never won a single thing. Remy I, I went one a five metres swimming badge. But I actually did that myself. Other than that, nothing, I have got nothing. So at the beginning, when you first get your award, do you not think I’m on my way? Is it? Is it not something that feels really good? Or do you feel flat after receiving it?
Remy Blumenfeld [19:43]
Well, so I think awards are really public clear manifestation of other people’s approval, right? It’s actually something you can hold on to. And, you know, there’s my there’s my award, it’s tangible, it’s a physical thing. And if you live in the world of courting, needing wanting other people’s approval, then of course, an award is a great object. I have to say in my life, it wasn’t the awards alone, that were those things, they they were everywhere, you know, it was how many people watched my show. It was what was written about me in the press, it was what do people say about me? When I left the room, it was all of those things. Because actually, David, I went into television, because I felt not good enough. I went into television to prove to the world that I was good enough. And a lot of people do that, you know, they go into public areas to to prove to themselves and other people that they are okay. And I guess I felt like many people that I wasn’t good enough that I wasn’t okay. But if I get a job in television, then I’m okay. But can you
David Ralph [20:57]
do something interesting, you know, you created your own. And that that shows some kind of guts to actually start it on such a ground level?
Remy Blumenfeld [21:06]
Yeah, so I think I should make a distinction. So when I went into television, it was actually to be on TV. And I was on TV, I was on 120 stations across America, doing the Remi report and when these people, and it was very much about me being seen on TV by other people, so it was driven by my ego. And there’s nothing wrong with our ego, it’s a healthy thing that gets us places and makes things happen. But I was absolutely courting approval. And look, we live in an age of approval. You know, the Facebook like is all about approval, and how many how many likes you get how many views you got, how many, whatever you get is all you know, kids are taught that much earlier, even then than we were. And so I lived in that world. And so awards were important. When I you know, after I had my life changing experience, where I was told by doctors that I wasn’t going to see it through the night. And I was so ill, that they allowed my dog, an Irish terrier, called Sam to stay in my hospital bed overnight with me, which apparently is a sign that you’re not going to make it after I lived through that. Everything changed. And instead of life being a game that played me, I recognise that life was a game I could play because every minute was something to be thankful for. And I had just never, ever seen it that way. And you know, often with clients who come to me You haven’t had a life changing experience through being told that their life is going to end? I remind them that the average human life of 83 years is 1000 months. No, that’s depressing when you say. Yeah, yeah. And but it does create a sense of urgency, I think. And you know, one really good way to decide on what to do with your life, whether it’s, do I want to go to this wedding next weekend? Or will I apply for this job? Or shall I stay late at the office or whatever it is, you’re making a decision about? One really good way to make a decision about it is to ask yourself, if I had 90 days left to live, would I do this? If I hadn’t 90 days left today, when I go to this wedding? Would I take this promotion? Would I stay late to the office? Would I do whatever. And of course you don’t have you know, luckily, you don’t have 90 days, you’ve got a lot more, but you don’t have a huge amount more because the average human life is thousand months. So if you live at three and a half years, and you’re you know, you’re 45 now where you’ve got 500 months left, and you know, I don’t need to do the math. My math isn’t my strong point anyway. But you see, you see where I’m going. So I think that whole thing of it’s all back to your first question around joy and life being a game we play or not. Because it’s very hard for life to be joyous. And again, you play if the game is about other people’s approval, because it’s other people’s approval is it’s their approval, you know, whether they think you are great, or they think you’re not great, really up to them. And it’s very transitory, whether they like your Facebook post, whether they engage with your video, whatever it is, it’s, you know, you have no control over that.
David Ralph [24:22]
On that jump, yeah, I really don’t care what anyone thinks about me other than my family. If my family think I’m a scumbag, then I’ve done something wrong. But anybody else, I do my best every single day. And if they don’t like it, and through podcasting, you get told, but you’re not very good a lot. I get so many emails where people say, I was listening to episode four to six. And you said, Jason, you said fat. And I think to myself, yeah, I might upset that, because that was 1200 episodes ago, you know, you change, you get different viewpoints. But I get pounded from left to right on these way.
Remy Blumenfeld [25:00]
Well, I mean, we listen well done for being resilient. Because the fact is, even if we think it doesn’t matter, sometimes, you know, just hearing people say that kind of shit really is depressing. And and having it not get to you yet. Is is fantastic. But yeah, other people’s approval. So I mean, my big advice to people when they’re deciding about what they should do is is does it bring you joy? Does the thought of it make you excited? When you you know, when you’re thinking about walking towards that decision that you’re about to make the saying, yes. Make you alive? Do you feel tingling in your body, you know, it’s a human response, and then go with that. Because Listen, when we’re doing what we love, as you have discovered with your podcast, it will often bring success, it will often bring rewarded will often bring acknowledgement, you know, you’ve had thousands of incredible, wonderful guests on your podcast, and many, many people listen to it, and you’re rated as a wonderful podcast, despite the people who think it’s terrible, and you’ve done something bad, you know, you’re rated as a wonderful podcast. So you have found that success and acknowledgement, and reward through doing what you love. And the problem is when we do something, for the other reason, when we do something in order to make money, or in order to be successful, or in order to be recognised and rewarded. It hardly ever brings any joy. It hardly ever takes us to a place where we feel fulfilled and happy and content. Because we started on a different path. You know, if you go down the path of I want people to praise me, that won’t bring joy. But if you go down the path of doing what you love, it often does. Often does.
David Ralph [26:48]
I agree with you? 100%. Right? I don’t you know, I talked about this quite a lot, because hey, I’ve got a lot of time to fill up. But I don’t use social media, I just don’t get it. And the other day, I went onto Facebook to use messenger because he’s quite good fella. And I thought, I’m going to confess, and this is the post that I wrote, okay. And I said, Ryan, I’m confessing Finally, I truly don’t understand social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram at all, I can really think of anything to post online, but I think is worthwhile. So I would much rather share my goings on with one or two people socially face to face. To me, it means so much more than just sending it out to the world hoping that the right people give a response. Am I missing something that is obvious? Now, more often than not people came back and said, yeah, it drives me mad. Yes, Oh, I can’t think of anything. But they’re still doing it. They’re still doing it every day. They’re trying to think of things to share, to build back kind of self worth with others. And I find that so depressing. But they are spending time trying to gain gratitude and, and praise from places around the world. But it doesn’t really matter to them. You know, the fact that somebody says something nice in Nevada from a person I’ve never ever met, and I probably would never will. I don’t understand why people are clamouring for that.
Remy Blumenfeld [28:12]
Well, you know, it’s back to the whole thing about what’s driving you. So I think you can use social media, to your own ends, you know, you can use it to drive traffic, you can use it to get engagement, you can use it, like people used to, you know, use the telephone. I mean, the thing is, it’s, if you if you’re going there to get approval, if you’re addicted to it, if you need other people to like, I mean, I post every every other day something, but I don’t really spend any more time than that on Facebook or Instagram, or LinkedIn, I really don’t
David Ralph [28:47]
think about what you think about to post, this is the thing
Remy Blumenfeld [28:52]
to post is to say, this is what I’m doing. If you want to listen, if you want to watch, you know, you and I are in the communication business. I do it one to one clients, but I also do it with my column and Forbes. And I write a column for C 21 media, which is a global entertainment magazine. And so I would like people to read my message. But like, I hope you would like people to engage with your podcast, because you feel like you’re sharing something that is positive in the world. You want to get it out that and where better to reach people than where they already are, which is on social media. So I don’t think there’s I don’t think there’s a problem with using the channels that are available to build an audience for something worthwhile.
David Ralph [29:40]
I’m going up look down your your Facebook page now. Okay, scrolling. And more often than not, you post and you get likes, but you don’t get comments, people just click move on to the next thing clicked onto it. So what what does that really gain? You know, because we all need the feedback, we all need the interaction. And it’s so easy now to just click a button and move on to the next thing. But people aren’t really giving you what you deserve from your time.
Remy Blumenfeld [30:08]
Yeah, but I don’t mean like you either make it mean anything. I put it out there. I think that’s what all we can do is put things out in the universe and, and see what comes back and amazing things come back. And you know, I didn’t know, when the amazing things come back. I don’t know whether it’s because I was talking with you on this podcast this morning. Or because I wrote a piece last week on Forbes or because two years ago, I posted a YouTube video, I have no idea. And I don’t care. But I do think there’s something about putting stuff out and getting stuff back. And it’s sort of a balance, and who knows how it works. But I think if you live in a cave, and you don’t speak to people, it’s very little chance that you’re going to feel in which to grow, meet new people have experiences.
David Ralph [30:57]
The thing you just said there, and I want to jump it is but two years ago, you posted a YouTube, you know, you’re talking consistency. And you know, I I’ve been doing this for six years now. And I get an email from someone who says, you know, I’ve listened to every single episode. In six years, I’ve never commented or never done anything. But it makes a difference to people. And I think that’s one of the things that you’re doing extremely well, you’re consistent with it, you’re willing to do it, you know, but maybe you won’t get that response, that instant gratification. But that’s all right, that’s building up this this groundswell of you in the world. And it does make a difference. But taking it back to sort of the the regrets of the deathbed, most people are looking for you know, more, aren’t they, they’re looking for almost instant gratification all the time now, because they know they haven’t got that much time on the planet.
Remy Blumenfeld [31:52]
Well, I feel really lucky to have been born when I was born. You know, I feel like being born before the advent of digital technology and social media was a was such a blessing. On the other hand, I’m pleased that I wasn’t born in a significantly earlier so that I, I was, I was kind of in my late 20s, when all this started. And I grew up like you did kind of never having never having imagined for a moment that I even have a mobile phone to be and speak to people at 24, seven, let alone social media. So we’re kind of grounded in one world, but playing with the other I think, what is a real challenge, and I do have some Generation Z clients, if you can believe it in the people in their early 20s, who are entrepreneurs who, who seek life coaching, and what I’ve noticed with Gen Z is, you know, they were born with all of this at their fingertips as a as a prerequisite. They This is their understanding of the world. And it’s a very different, very different worldview from the one I have, because my worldview, much like yours, I guess is about making things happen in the real world. So touching people face to face, you know, having it having what we do and say make a difference to people one to one, I like to see things actually happen. And for people, for people, Gen Z, you know, it for them. Once it’s been online, it has happened once once they posted it, it’s happened. For me, I only post about stuff that’s in the real world. So I’m doing a talk in Seville next week, I’ll post to say I’m doing a talking to Bill next week. But Gen Z if I’m doing a talk now and here it is, and I’m streaming live. That’s it digital never actually happened. There was never a room where people came to listen to the talk. It’s just, you know, and it has its own validity. I’m not saying it doesn’t Of course it does. And that’s the future. Listen, you know, it’s just, I think it’s really helped.
Unknown Speaker [33:54]
By the trouble with
Unknown Speaker [33:55]
Remy Blumenfeld [33:57]
an understanding of the
David Ralph [33:58]
Yeah, but the ability to do all this and get your message out everywhere. I think it’s a diluted message, I really do. I you know, I only use my podcast. And so the message goes into people’s ears and into people’s brains. And what I love about the podcast is generally people pay attention, and they pay attention for an hour, they pay attention for 30 minutes or whatever, you know, you can’t really get that when people are flicking around. That’s why I think for anybody who’s got a business and they haven’t got a podcast, I think you’re missing a huge trick because it’s going into people’s brains. And that’s a different way. Nowadays, the message is too, too scattered, I suppose. And so it doesn’t bring the full power back into your business did do you do find that you focus in on maybe one or two aspects? And you just keep on doing that all the time?
Remy Blumenfeld [34:52]
Well, possibly, you might say that except the aspects of how to have a life you love. And so you know, maybe I could you say I just focus on one thing, which is how to have a life you love. But there’s many ways to there’s so many ways that that affects people differently. But it feels to me like I’m talking about dozens of subjects. But at the end of the day, it’s how to how to have a life you love how to live and die with no regrets, how to feel like you are imbalanced and that you’re fulfilled. Now, all of that is really just the same thing, which is living a life you love. So I that’s all I talk about. It sounds very boring. But you know, last week in Forbes, I was writing about failure and how you know, failure is so underrated because it’s the best way of learning stuff. And when we when we’re afraid of failing, we’re also afraid of trying and when we’re afraid to try and we don’t do anything. So that also, you know, there’s one example was me talking about how to live a life we love of embracing our failures. And yeah, so I write about lots of different things, but they all have a common theme.
David Ralph [36:02]
And that’s the interesting thing with businesses. And then once you now that theme, a lot of your early issues, and we all have early issues when we’re trying to find a way to kind of fall by the wayside. And he literally is, you know, it’s like police academy 30 you’re doing the same storey time and time again. But people like that, because there’s consistency, that’s familiarity. You know, I’ve done well coming up 2000 episodes of this, and I did about 50 of another podcast as well. And literally I say to people, it’s the same conversation all the time really is, you know, but one day somebody will listen to this podcast, and it will be right for them. And that message rain is the arrow that backfires into them.
Remy Blumenfeld [36:46]
Yeah, it’s around being human, you know. And I think often when people come to coaching, they feel like the problem that they are working through is unique to them that they’re the only person on the planet who is facing this particular problem. And possibly, the way that it’s presenting to them at this moment, has some unique aspects because no one has a boss quite like their boss, and no one works in a profession quite like that profession. And no one has a background and childhood just quite like that. But actually, as you say, human experience is so universal. We all as humans have the same longings and the same fears. And in the end, I think that is quite reassuring, you know, to recognise that. I mean, I’ll give you an example. A lot of people come to me as a coach, because I worked in the creative industries. So I, as you mentioned, your introduction, I do attract a lot of people who come from media, or marketing or advertising or the performing arts, or even the visual arts, because they think already understands that world a little bit. He’s a coach, he worked in media and TV and is creative. But actually, I never really coaching that stuff, I’m coaching the person. And people are the same. So I have occasionally coach people totally outside the creative sectors, people who work in banking, or hedge funds, or whatever you have. And the experience for me as a coach is no different to coaching a media executive or the head of a museum, because they’re human. And I think that’s often what people forget, you know, even people making podcasts, not you. But I think sometimes people who make specialist podcasts, I don’t know for like, let’s say, doctors, or nurses or even patients, they forget that those doctors or nurses or patients are just the same as human, their mothers, their fathers, their daughters, their children, they got lives of not having sex enough or not meeting the right partner or wanting, you know, all the issues which everyone faces is a human when you talk to somebody as as the audience Nisha, you think they are what whatever that audience Nisha, it could even be you know, you’re aiming at a certain age group, or you’re aiming at people who are interested in lifestyle, well, it doesn’t matter, they’re still human beings. So really interesting thing about my practices, every client I’ve had has been, can you believe this, every client I’ve had has been human, you know. So it doesn’t surprise
David Ralph [39:23]
me, it does not surprise me at all. I’m very different. But a lot of my clients are less than human. Which is a bit of a drawback. Because as you go through your business, and this is for all the customers, how do you start filtering out the wrong customers, the wrong clients? Because we’ve all been there as well, when we get the ones that want to pay us $50 with 6 billion pounds worth of effort? How do you actually get rid of them?
Remy Blumenfeld [39:51]
Yeah, so I’m really straight about all that stuff up front. So in terms of like payments and stuff, that it’s the same for everybody. And I wish it weren’t, but because you know, it would be nice to be able to tailor everything separately, but I don’t because it makes life too complicated and makes people uncomfortable. They think we’re being charged more than the other two, everyone is on the same fee basis, everyone pays in the same way. And in terms of weeding out the wrong people, I think in in my world, and I wonder if it’s not also secretly true for you, I like to find out when I pitch and I get the right clients for me, because they know, you know, in this digital world, it’s very different from how it would have been before before possibly someone’s first experience of me as a coach would have been when they met me. Or when we had our first phone call. Not Not anymore. That never happens. Now, people have read my columns, they’ve seen my YouTube videos, they have a sense of who I am. And that’s why they’ve called even if, even if another client recommended them. Even if someone said to us, you know, Remy would be great for you, because he’s great for me and you have similar issues. Even then that person has gone on my website, they’ve clicked through to the they’ve listened to podcasts I’ve done with other people. So they really have a feeling of who I am. And and if they still want to work with me, then there’s probably a 90% chance that they are the right person. And then I always have an exploratory phone call before I commit to coaching. And it’s always two way obviously, the client thinks that calling to see whether I’m the right coach for them, but they’re actually calling so I can see whether they’re the right client for me. And some people are not appropriate.
David Ralph [41:36]
Yeah, when winning Yeah, how get rid of them.
Remy Blumenfeld [41:39]
I just say I don’t feel I’m the right coach for you at this time, or I feel like your issues will be better solved by another coach, or I might even refer them to somebody who has more specialist. All right, you know, sometimes, actually, you know, they have psychological problems. I had a client call where they weren’t my client, I had someone calling up the other you said that they were considering having extensive reconstructive plastic surgery so that they could live in another country anonymously. And I just thought this is not for me, you know, this is this person has psychological problems. Right?
David Ralph [42:16]
That one is so not for me either. I tell you what, I don’t know. I don’t understand that world at all.
Remy Blumenfeld [42:24]
No. And so that’s fine. You know, when we don’t feel like we can help or will it’s just much better for everyone to say, I’m not the right coach for you. I’m not the right podcast for you. It’s fine. And maybe that bitter and upset and angry, and that’s fine. I mumble often Hobbit,
David Ralph [42:41]
my favourite one that I ever had was was many years ago and a guy emailed me. And he said, David, I have been following the teachings of Lucifer. But now, I believe totally in the words of you. And he sent me a picture and he was like, with a quote, you know, and I emailed him back, and I said, I think you got the wrong person. EMIE. You know, I’m not the angel of death or whatever. I’m just a podcaster doing my thing. But yeah, you do attract your life. Thank you,
Remy Blumenfeld [43:10]
Rocky Well, I think when you open yourself up, you do? Where do you sit on trust? Like when you meet somebody, for the first time, you know, at a pub or out with your kids? Are you someone who basically trusts or basically doesn’t trust,
David Ralph [43:29]
I’m somebody that doesn’t trust anyone, until I trust them. And then I’m 150% loyal, you know, I’m one of those people that I have a protective barrier around me constantly. And more often than not, the people have to prove themselves to me, but once they’re in in my inner circle, then that’s it. They’re there for life. But if I then screw me over, that’s it. That’s straight out again, I don’t mess around. So
Remy Blumenfeld [43:55]
interesting. So how long does it take upfront to get to that place of trust? I
I’ll know when you when you answer this question. How many people would you say in your life you have? right now who you trust? Is it three? Is it five? Is it 10? Is it 20?
David Ralph [44:11]
I probably have, I would say two, really. I had the very nice. And one of those is my wife. And the other one is a guy that I met many, many years ago who introduced me to my wife and ministers, you know, one or two other people, but I will sort of talk to and stuff. But they’re the two but I would honestly say I would trust them.
Remy Blumenfeld [44:36]
So your definition of trust is, it’s a very high threshold. I mean, you know, some people would say, you know, they trust everyone, that there is what their definition of trust is different. I mean, I’ll give you an example of what I’m talking about. Like, I used to say I had 20 or 30 friends. And by that I met people who I like to I could talk with honestly and openly you like me, but my partner is polish. And for him. Friendship means a different thing. It’s like it’s almost a different word. Like my idea of friendship meant to him was acquaintance. Friendship to him was more like what you’re talking about, like someone who you trust with your life. So I think trust is probably a flexible thing depends on how you define it. And I guess my, my, if my problem in life, my my tendency is to trust to trust everyone until they break the trust, you know, I sort of I think people are good. And I’m, mostly I’ve been backed up in that
David Ralph [45:40]
I agree with you, you know, I’ve travelled the world. And I would say 98% of the people are amazing 2% of serial killers, basically, you know, I think genuinely, if you break down in the middle of a desert, somebody will come along, and I will help you. You know, I, I’ve just been struck by kindness where everyone, it’s gone. But there are a couple, you know, that you’ve got to keep away from, but more often than not where people go, Oh, you shouldn’t go there, you shouldn’t go there. I just go in with all the competence in the world. I was I was in America just recently, and we was in quite a dodgy area outside New York. And my kids didn’t like it at all. And we were there for three days, it was a bit of a miss plan on myself. I just felt Oh, that’s a quite a cheap place. And when we got there, it was full of like, people sitting on porches, taking drugs and stuff. It was it was a rough area, it was a rough area.
Unknown Speaker [46:33]
Yeah, I gotta make
David Ralph [46:34]
sure it didn’t bother me in the slightest, because I knew that these people were just normal people that had made bad choices, it didn’t mean that they were evil, it didn’t mean that they were going to cause me any problems. And I would get up each morning, I would walk up to the little store at the end of the road, I’d walk past all these people and say good morning to them, you know, didn’t bother me in the slightest, because I know, in their, their core, they’re good, you know, very, very good. You really don’t come across bad people very often.
Remy Blumenfeld [47:02]
What’s quite interesting is that you seem to have like two, almost opposing views. Although I I see that not but like on the one hand, there’s only two people who you really, totally trust. And then on the other hand, you believe that 98% of people are good, but 2% of serial killers. And yet you go out into the world, feeling safe and trustworthy. Now, if I actually thought that 2% of the world was serial killers, I think I’d be scared all the time. Because you know, you, as in London, my goodness, you know, in five minutes, you’ve seen 500 people. So what does that mean? That there’s 10, you just plus 10 serial killer. And I think the way I managed to function is by kind of pretending that there isn’t 2%, who are serial killers, because if I thought about that, you know, just in the same way, as the doctor says, You’ve got a 98% chance of living, you’ll think that’s, that’s practically like 100. But there are some people who could focus on that 2% didn’t go. He said there was a 2% chance I’m going to die of some strange disease, I think it’s just it’s whether you’re trusting and whether you have a positive outlook and whether you believe life is going to be okay, it does affect does affect all these things really, in a major way. But how so you moved out of that, that being Airbnb to nicer area,
David Ralph [48:23]
how we got in a car, and we started driving through New York to you know, to nice areas, you know, it was just a sort of a bad experience at beginning. But it’s it’s life experience. And that’s what I was very big with my kids. And I wanted them to, you know, not just see nice holiday ins, I wanted them to see life, I want you to see the way people operate. But it was obvious to me, but they are not ready for it. They’re not ready for it at all. And 17 and 15, the last two, and they’ve lived in a nice area. And I’ve got nice brains and everything is nice and comfortable in their life. But that’s not real. That’s not real. But I realised I was I was pushing them more in my desire to show them love. It was okay, more than their desire to want to know, it’s okay, if that makes sense.
Remy Blumenfeld [49:11]
But I think that’s really important. And I think, you know, they may not be ready, but they’re a little bit more ready now, thanks to that trip. And the fact is, if they’d never seen a bad area, you know, when you said they were not ready, I thought you’re gonna say, you know, seven and 11. But 17, I mean, to live in this country and not have seen that by now. You know, it’s good that they saw that. And I think it’s really important that we don’t always compare ourselves with people who are better off than us, which is what most people just because of the way social media operates and the way TV operates, you know, we’re inundated the way advertising operates. we’re inundated with storeys, and pictures and TV shows and about people whose lives are seemingly wonderful and better than ours, you have more than us are more successful than others. And I think it’s so important to recognise that that, you know, for you, you made that joke about Canton SX, but the truth is living in the UK, everyone is in the top 5% of the world. Yeah, I was, you know, pretty much everyone can, you know, if I give you just one clear example, the average net worth of someone living in the UK is around 250,000 pounds. That is if you know, for the average person, if they sold their house, released the equity, sold their pension, sold their car sold everything, they’d have 250,000 pounds, which to most people in the UK doesn’t seem like a huge amount. But if you think the you know, the average net worth of people living in South America is around 7000 pounds. And the average net worth of people living in Asia is less than that. So we are we are really well off here. And I think it’s important when we travel on even when we don’t just to recognise we were doing okay, you know, there are many, many, many, many people who fall as well off like there’s people on the porches in New York who are addicted to crystal meth, or whatever it was they were smoking.
I think I think that was a great thing you did for your kids. Yeah, well, I tried it out.
David Ralph [51:06]
Yeah. And you you never see a fat person on crystal meth, which is quite interesting. I don’t understand why that is.
Remy Blumenfeld [51:14]
But it has some advantages. But I mean, yeah, cuz it’s rich, your metabolism is running so fast, that you’re burning off everything. Plus, you’re not getting your pleasure from worldly things that people on those hallucinatory drugs, all of their experiences in their brain. So they’re not seeking pleasure from sex or drugs or food.
David Ralph [51:35]
You talk about sex all the time, Remy? I, Are you frustrated? Are you getting too much? You? You’ve mentioned it more times than any other guests on my show, I think.
Remy Blumenfeld [51:44]
Well, I’m a coach. Right. So I see that it surfaces a thing with clients, you know, it’s a way of Yeah, it’s like, it’s just as important as eating, or exercise. And possibly no more than that. But yeah, I’m a I haven’t done much exercise today. So maybe I’m talking about sex too much. When I get off the phone with you. I’m gonna go to the gym. Yeah, crystal meth addicts. I know. I haven’t talked about crystal meth addicts with anyone on a podcast or in real life in a very long time.
David Ralph [52:13]
Yeah. And when you say you’re gonna go to gym, it’s not some local gym. It’s actually it’s where you work out, is it?
Remy Blumenfeld [52:19]
It’s actually that Cranbrook legend Centre in Kent? Yes,
David Ralph [52:23]
perfect. Well, let’s place the last of our speeches that will bring us seamlessly to the end of the show. These were the words of Steve Jobs.
Unknown Speaker [52:31]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [53:06]
So have you always connected with me? Are they just getting going? Do you think?
Remy Blumenfeld [53:11]
I definitely haven’t always connected. I mean, I don’t I don’t know if teenager, or anyone in their 20s, who really has connected. It’s a kind of wisdom that only comes later, I think. And you know, what interests me about Steve Jobs as coaches and it’s something that I do with lions, is it’s about looking back, I mean, because because you can only join the dots retrospectively and and one really great trick to do that is to have a conversation with yourself in the future. To do a visualisation and I have one you can do a guided visualisation, you can do on my website at vitality dot guru, where you meet your future self 20 years from now. And you have a conversation with them. And I know that you do this on the show, and we’re probably about to do it where I talked to my self in the past. But talking to yourself in the future is a really good way of tricking yourself into joining the dots retrospectively because I promise you, David, that your 18 year old self knows exactly what matters, what’s important what you should be doing today. I’m not saying that you did 20 years. But you know, if you go 20 years in the future, or 30 years in the future, that future version of yourself has access to wisdom that you don’t have right now and can see see what really matters. And yeah, I haven’t always I haven’t always done it. But back to that moment in the hospital when the doctor said, you know, you can have your dog stay over. Ever since then I think I have been a lot better about joining the dots in that way.
David Ralph [54:50]
Yeah, and I agree that exercise consequential thinking of you know, if you don’t do this now and next week, and where were you going to be in five years time, I think the majority of people are going to be in exactly the same position. And that’s what scares me. That’s one of the big things that scares me. Or if I was on my deathbed, I will go. But my actions didn’t make enough difference to people. Because more often than not, you can have a conversation with somebody, and they’re all pumped up and they’re all ready to go. And then six months later, they’re still doing exactly the same thing. Still, you know, asking for that key to the door.
Remy Blumenfeld [55:28]
You talking about your your coaching clients in business, or podcasting,
David Ralph [55:32]
in just general general conversations, you feel like, you know, you can sit down and you can give the people the blueprint, you know, and you can you can tell them, they’re going to have the most amazing lives and they can go off and they can have experiences, and then it just drifts away. But it just drifts away, and then they they just lose it. And it upsets me to me when I realised that there’s so many people with talents and skills and passions, but are ready to flourish. But I just want to take that first step. And if they do take that first step, they don’t take the second one, and he just sort of like goes back in time.
Remy Blumenfeld [56:07]
I mean, when you said that I literally got goosebumps, because to me that’s like you it’s like a rallying call for what empowerment coaching life coaching is all about. Because I work with clients who are just like you described, because they’re human, and they have intentions, and they have hopes, and they have dreams. And I see my role as being to support them as a coach on that journey towards fulfilment, and I guess, you know, sports coach, be the same thing, you know, anybody can run to a certain level, but you need coaching to get to the Olympics. And so for me, a lot of what I do is not about just you know, it’s not about one shot, it’s about, I only ever agreed to take clients on for six month period, because anything less, I just have no guarantee of results, it takes takes a certain amount of time and a certain amount of practice, and a certain amount of work, you know, it’s not enough just to sit with you in a room and have you give them the blueprint, they need to do the work to fill in that blueprint themselves and stop making it their own and embedding it and, and practising it and doing the work. And, you know, one of the things I asked all clients to do every day, is their affirmations. And affirmations is where I take five minutes at the beginning of the day, and I just reprogram my brain because human brains are a little bit like computers, and they get contaminated by all kinds of viruses. And basically, unless I reprogram my brain every day, I don’t live the life intentionally that I want to live and my my intentions go, you know, my affirmations go something like this, I say, I am alive. I am healthy. I’m free. I’m strong, and resourceful, and creative and loved. It goes on like that. And all of these things, by the way, are true. Now, I may not feel all of them as being true. When I say them on I don’t feel particularly strong or creative or resourceful, but they are true. And they are my intentions. And by saying them to myself every morning three times, it works to reprogram my brain. But if clients don’t do that, if they think oh, I’ll skip that five minutes every day, then, you know, they’re already losing a very important tool that could help them to achieve that blueprint, as you say, have a successful life. So yeah, he’s tough. But we’ll get that together. David, we will I promise you,
David Ralph [58:36]
I promise you and I promise the world as well, with every breath in my body, we will take you on that journey. And if you’re, you know, I have this dream that one day I look and nobody is listening to my podcast because it’s done its job. They they’ve moved on, you know, but it’s not gonna happen and secretly
Unknown Speaker [58:55]
careful what you wish.
David Ralph [58:56]
Yeah, I want billions and billions of people to come away. Well, this is the part of the show that we’ve been building up to called the Sermon on the mic. Well, we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger me, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give him? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the music, as I always do. And when it made you up, this is the seminar, the MC
Unknown Speaker [59:30]
Remy Blumenfeld [59:45]
Hi, Remy. Yeah, you’re 13 I remember what that was like.
Listen, Ma, can I tell you, I want you to know that. All your energy that you spend thinking about other people, what they think of you, what they expect of you, trying to please them.
All that energy, Remy is completely
a waste your time. Because, and I know this, because I’ve lived 40 years since I was the age you are now. And I know that because I am human. And I met lots and lots of humans. And I know that what people are thinking about is not you. It’s not you. Age 13 is not you age 14, it’s not you age 15 is not you. People are all thinking about themselves. How do they look? How did they occur? How are they affecting other people? What do other people think of them? What are other people saying about them? Everyone is in their own bubble worrying about themselves. So while you’re worrying about what they’re thinking about you, you’re completely wasting your time, because they’re not thinking about you. They’re thinking about them. So that I guess is my big advice to you today. And so when you go for your next interview for school, don’t think about what will the person interviewing me think of me? They’ll think, how can I impress the person interviewing me with how clever or how much study I’ve done or what a good member of the team, I will be focused on them. Focus on them, make them feel important, powerful, exciting, show them that you’re excited to meet them. Because if they feel good about themselves, when you’re in the room with them, they’ll want more of you. And by the way, free advice. Because David’s allowed me to give it to you from 50 years in the future. That’s true for every relationship you have when you Next go on a date, which I promise you won’t be too long from now. realised. If the other person feels great about themselves when they’re with you. It will have been a successful date. If they feel happy and excited by themselves in your company. They’ll want to date you again. It’s not about you, me. I’m sorry. But that’s my advice. It’s just not about you.
David Ralph [1:02:40]
Right advice for everyone. So Remy, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you, sir?
Remy Blumenfeld [1:02:47]
It’s really simple. It’s designed to be simple. Its vitality. Guru. Justin, those two www vitality. Doc guru. And last people say is the doc guru. It Yes, it’s it is actually like a.com or a.net or a.org dot guru, GURU. So vitality dot guru. And if you go there, you can do my wheel of life exercise completely free and competency. You can also do your future self digitalization, completely free. And both of those are really cool exercises. You don’t need a life coach to do. But I offer them on my on my website. And if you want to talk to me about coaching, I will have that conversation bearing in mind that if you want to go on a witness relocation programme, I’m probably not the best.
David Ralph [1:03:39]
You come to me in that case, I saw that one out for you. I really, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please come back again when you got more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Remy Thank you so much.
Remy Blumenfeld [1:03:56]
Thank you, David. I loved every minute. And I mean that
David Ralph [1:04:01]
Remy Blumenfeld, long podcast that over an hour, we don’t normally go that far, but a lot of deep conversation I think we had fair which probably will affect so many people. So yeah, I was looking at that as as he was saying, I was thinking about what my regrets would be on my deathbed. And I think one of the ones that would be mine would be that I don’t get to see the world. I don’t get to see everything. There’s so many places there’s so many people to talk to. There’s so many bars to sit into, you know, and I know that none of us get to see it all. But from Greenland to Australia to South America to America to Europe, you know, it’s just magical getting out and just seeing stuff and it only has to be down the road from you if it’s a place you haven’t seen before. It can you know in spires me it really does and so I think that would be my regret. But I don’t get to see everything but I want to see if you have have any regrets you know already drop us a line I thought would improve it to Remy we could create our own book, or podcast or listening regret. Thank you so much as always for listening and until next time. I’ll see you again. Cheers. Bye bye.
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.