Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast with Ross Jeffries
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Introducing Ross Jeffries
Ross Jeffries is my guest today, on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview.
He is a man who can teach us all about connecting and engaging with the opposite sex.
Yes, this is one of those episodes that all you single men, fed up with being rejected in the bars of the world will want to take notes on.
He is known as the Legend of Seduction and has coached, and mentored over 60,000 men around the world, since 1988, guiding them to the success with women they truly desire and deserve.
His system, Speed Seduction®, shows you how to succeed with the women you really want, predictably and reliably, without guesswork or games, respecting yourself and the women you enjoy.
How The Dots Joined Up For Ross Jeffries
But this is where the story get interesting as imagine you take these same levels of persuasiveness, and instead of leading back to the bedroom, you lead back to the boardrooms and company bottom line?
Well as he says “Look at it like this: if you can convince a guy who has been terrified of women his whole life to drop that fear in under 10 minutes, and then teach him to communicate with women in a way that truly moves and touches them, then….then you can convince anyone of anything.”
Powerful stuff indeed, and so now you will find our guest travelling the world as he works with a handpicked selection of high-powered entrepreneurs, sales people, and other professionals to teach them his unique, one-of-a-kind, under-the-radar persuasion blueprint.
So how did he come to learn these techniques? Was he naturally gifted at wowing women, or hopelessly inadequate which lead to this knowledge?
And what did he think of Tom Cruise playing him in the film Magnolia?
Inspired casting, or would he have preferred someone else?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Mr Ross Jeffries
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Ross Jeffries such as:
The key four elements that Ross Jeffries believes all men have to master to be able to to achieve the success with women that they desire.
How you have to always be on the look out for potential pivots points in your business to allow it to thrive. Never stop looking for the change in direction.
Why Ross is not a fan of marriage, and how he feels we should operate within the confines of this sacred unity. This will make you sit up and notice.
How through the vibrations of the inner ear, we can turn on the Polyvagal system….yes I had never heard of it either, but it’s a good one to learn apparently gentlemen
How To Connect With Ross Jeffries
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here – enjoy
Audio Transcription Of Ross Jeffries Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
Yes, here we go. Again, it’s join up dots. This is another inspiring, motivational, conversational episode, bringing to you the movers and shakers across the globe. And we’ve got a guy on the show today, who is certainly somebody that I I couldn’t have done with many, many years ago. Not anymore, because I’m married, I’m settled down and everything is good, but I got it done with him, because he’s a man who can teach all of us about connecting and engaging with the opposite sex. Yes, this is one of those episodes, that all you single men fed up with being rejected in the bowels of the world were want to take notes on he’s known as the legend of seduction and has coached and mentored over 60,000 men around the world since 1988, guiding them to the success with women they truly deserve and desire. Now he’s system speed seduction shows you how to succeed with the women you really want. predictably and reliably without guesswork or games, respecting yourself, and the women you enjoy. And now since the early 1990s, he’s been included on CNN, Fox, NBC, BBC, playboy, you name it, he’s been on there. Now, where the story gets really interesting. As you can imagine, you take the same levels of persuasiveness, and instead of leading back to the bedroom, as you might expect, you lead back to the boardrooms and company bottom line, as he says, look at this, if you can convince a guy who’s been terrified of women his whole life to drop that fear and under 10 minutes, and then teach him to communicate with women in a way that truly moves and touches them vain. You can convince anyone of anything powerful stuff, indeed. And so now you’ll find out guest traveling the world as he works with a handpicked selection of high powered entrepreneurs, salespeople and other professionals to teach them he’s unique, one of a kind under the radar persuasion blueprint. So how did he come to learn these techniques? Was he naturally gifted at wailing women are hopelessly inadequate, which led to this knowledge and what did he think of Tom Cruise? playing him in the film Magnolia inspired casting? Or what do you preferred someone else? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start joining us with the one and only Mr Ross Jeffries.
Good morning to you, sir. How are you?
Good morning, good evening or around the world, wherever you may be. My life is going great, breakneck action, high adventure and loads of luscious women. And now I get to do my favourite thing in the world, which is teach.
Easy reading really loads of luscious women. Are you not exhausted by now? Don’t you just look?
I’m kidding. I have a very significant other. So no, there’s no loads of luscious women at the moment. But there could be if I wanted it, and this is still one of those things.
Obviously, I you know, you’re of a certain age where I would have thought most people would have gone Oh, just sort of give up on it. But you’re still into the old, the old female touch.
It’s just fun. For me, I think humans are the greatest. How can I put this humans and playing with him and just the greatest sport in the world. And by sport, I don’t mean hurting anyone. I mean, it’s just fun to open up lines of communication that people don’t see, one of my skills and gifts is not just the words I use and how I use words, I call myself the Wizard of words, it’s sort of my new label. But it’s being able to see the invisible lines that exists between people, the strings, the puppet strings are pulling people, they don’t mean see and being able to cut those strings into freedom, they have a different set of responses. Now whether that’s true for persuasion, or seduction, which I think essentially, essentially, they’re the same thing. Because you’re moving people’s emotions, and imagination, you’re getting them to make decisions. It’s an enjoyable process for me. And if you’re not enjoying it, then you need to turn around and think it through in a different way.
If we take you back in time, which we like to do on join up dots to tell the young version of you to sort of the the 11 to 14 as opposed when you start looking around and thinking she said follow these girls have got things that might interest me in a few years time. Will you naturally gifted or were you like most about?
Oh my god, no, I was the opposite. I was the anti pickup artist I was. So I’m attracted that I would crack I could crack a mirror just looking into it. And my mother used to say, beauty is only skin deep, but ugly cuts right to the bone. And I was ugly, with a serious tilt towards being ugly as sin. And I was very socially shy. I knew how to speak like Mr. Spock on Star Trek, I was sort of like a human computer. But I understood nothing about human emotion. And how humans connect emotionally what to say how to appeal to women, it was all a dark mystery to me. I had no clue. if I could, if I could go for it. The only natural talent that I had, which I still retained today and which I think is part of being attracted to women. The only natural talent I’ve always had is I’m funny. Whether that comes true. Or not. I know. But I’ve always been funny. So I had that skill going on in my finger.
So right so you’ve got Funny, funny bones, which is always useful. But you class yourself as ugly now we go across the world and when you go, you did okay.
I forgive me. Now you get class myself is ugly. I don’t anymore actually think I’m quite a handsome man.
Okay, I think you’re sexually attractive as well. And you could turn only women and men. That’s what that’s what I’m going to give you the biggest bigger pocket now.
Oh, wait, you, I buy you a drink.
David Ralph [6:22]
You say he’s working. You’re working your magic on me already. So if you come across the world, you see, and this is a absolute stereotype. But it’s true as well. You see the most ugly men with the most beautiful women is bad because I have mastered your skills? Or is it as I always think that these women are so out of the League of normal people, but nobody bothers to ask them out. And the people get rejected all the time. So they’re willing to give it a go?
Ross Jeffries [6:53]
Well, some of this some truth and what you say some of it, I think is kind of turned or twisted around. Here’s what I think. When you see that. I think that first of all, the guy could be standing on a pile of money. But it’s more likely that he’s doing one of two things. Number one, he’s got the four vibes that attract women, there are four vibes that attract women, and we can unpack what those are in a moment. Or as you say, you’re you’re quite correct that the woman just never gets to approach you would be shocked at the number of beautiful women who’ve I’ve approached, you’ve said men just don’t talk to me because you’re so intimate. But it’s more likely that by accident, by accident, somehow he model someone who had those four vibes that attract women.
David Ralph [7:44]
And what are they then let’s tell us because we all want in even the movie.
Ross Jeffries [7:50]
The first five is being commanded commanding and or dominant. Now by dominant I don’t mean domineering. I don’t mean you boss a woman around simply mean that you set the lead. That’s the first vibe. The second vibe is being vulnerable. speaking your mind, if you’re feeling angry, you show your anger. If you’re feeling sad, you feel sad, you show your human humanity, you show where you’re frail, you show where your week, the show where you’re scared, you show where you’re joyous, whatever is going on with you, you reveal it, you don’t spray it on someone, but you reveal it. The next vibe is being funny. But by that I don’t mean being a party plan. I mean, being able to create fun and find humor in anything and everything. And the final vibe is being genuinely and deeply curious about the other human being. We all want to believe that other people are interested in us. And when you ask the right kind of question, and we can unpack this as well, when you ask the right kinds of questions and questions it makes a woman feel deeply understood profoundly under on some level, we all want to feel understood. Now, those four vibes are very attractive to women. Plus, he probably has great hands, knowing how to touch a woman. In the beginning of my career, when I was still mastering my language patterns, I relied a lot on my hands. Okay, that came across. I met that the way I touched women was very sexually attractive, I learned how to do that by trial and error. So that’s what I think is probably going on, it’s Either that, or he’s got tons of money, or he’s got social status. Now you don’t need money or social status or looks if you’ve got game, if you know what I what I know. But otherwise, they’re pretty powerful and important things.
David Ralph [9:44]
But as she was saying that I was thinking, yeah, I do that. I do that I do that. And then, you know, is this big? Is it easier to do these things when you’ve been married? And you’re in a stable relationship? Do you kind of ease into not having that that pulling as we say in here, United Kingdom pressure? So you naturally develop these skills?
Ross Jeffries [10:03]
No, as I don’t know who said it, if it was Oscar Wilde or someone else he said, marriage is the death of hope. Or marriage is the way we turn love into a board dog. So I’ve never been married? I’m not a fan of it. I have a very significant other right now. But neither of us believes in getting married. So my answer would be no, you have to have those vibes. If you don’t have those vibes, then you’re going to be in trouble. Particularly if you don’t know how to be dominant and be a leader, your wife is going to step all over you and she got a wind up resenting you.
Unknown Speaker [10:39]
She was easier. It’s easier to start, you know, attracting women. And it’s a classic thing, once you’re married people say it’s because you’re unattainable. You become more attractive. This is the kind of
Ross Jeffries [10:50]
Oh, I didn’t understand you mean attract other women because you’re wearing that wedding, right?
Unknown Speaker [10:56]
Not just that, because you you haven’t got the pressure of trying to pull. You basically just act yourself. And I
Ross Jeffries [11:07]
know, I am going to be so rude a guest is to interrupt you. What does that mean to be yourself? Does that mean what appear self is is someone who’s got no depth to them, and just doesn’t care to communicate well with other people. I’ve met women who’ve been married to guys like that. And they said, I knew it was wrong, but I was just lonely. This whole idea of being yourself, what that really means is doing what’s habitual to you doing whatever your habitual responses, and that’s not mean, a human that’s being a robot and human flesh and holding him in biology. So no, I have to strongly take issue with you and disagree by me another drink?
Unknown Speaker [11:47]
Oh, yeah, I’m gonna bite you and have a drink. I think we’re getting into one here. Because I don’t know if I agree with this, either. I think that, that the way that you operate in a relationship or with women is that you you care about them more than care about yourself. You’re courteous, you’re generous with your time and your sort of energies and you’re interested.
Ross Jeffries [12:09]
Look, it’s okay to be courteous. If first you show your strength and your dominance. It’s not about either, or it’s about doing both and doing some more things in addition, but you first have to show your strength and courtesy, courtesy and strength combined is great. But if you don’t have that strength in there, forget about it. And as far as not having the pressure to Paul, that may be true, but she also no longer feels the need to please before she gets married. She, she need you she’ll do all sorts of things to appeal to appear more appealing so she can get that ring. I have a friend who’s a divorce attorney and his I admit his view of the world is is skewered because he sees humans at their worst. But he said women want to get married women want to have a wedding. They don’t want to be married. And I think a lot of women resent the loss of freedom that marriage brings. I really do. They want that ceremony and they want the ring, but they don’t want to be wives. There’s an old joke. guy goes to heaven. And he says to God, why did you make women so contentious and so petty and so nasty? And so mean? And God says to the guy, I made them women, you made them wives?
David Ralph [13:33]
Yeah, I can see that badly. If you choose the wrong one. I’ve gotten a good one. I’ve gotten that best one.
Ross Jeffries [13:38]
Right. Great. Congratulations. If it works for you. It works for you. By the way, my executive assistant is here. She’s watching everything and she made chime in. My executive assistant is a tortoise shell tabby cat.
Unknown Speaker [13:53]
Oh, wow. Okay, that’s no problem or two away. We like cats on this show. So if we take it away from what we’re discussing at the moment, one of the things that we like to do on join up dots is talk about that moment when something that you may almost feel that is a natural is a given. It’s a talent, you start turning it into a business idea. Did you remember Do you remember when that occurred to you? There was a need for this across the world?
Yeah, yes. I got into studying something called neuro linguistic programming NLP and through NLP, I broke through my own shyness, my own cluelessness and I began to see the matrix so to speak, I began to see how to communicate with women in a way that was sexually appealing. And then I thought to myself, you know, I’m really tired working as a legal assistant. Why don’t I write a book about this self publish it and see what I can do. So I sort of stuck my tongue in my cheek, I renamed myself Ross Jeffries, from my birth name. I created this over the top persona. And I begin began to advertise this book in the back of girlie magazines. And from there, I got on TV, I got an all the chat shows back in the 90s. I’m sure none of your listeners even know what the if I mentioned the shows, who were what they were, but I got on the chat chosen at lunch my career. And I think I’ve always been meant to do this. I’m a born and natural entertainer, I’ve always been the person who calls attention to myself through being humorous, or through being controversial, controversial. And that was the moment Those were the moments are and also tell you the truth. since I was five years old, I thought I was meant to do something special for the world. I always believe, since I was a very small child that I was put here for a purpose. And one day I would be a great and famous person. So there you go. And I also had a vision as a child, literally a vision. I don’t mean a thought or a wish, but a literal vision of myself. Teaching hundreds event. I really did. I have no reason to make this up. It makes me sound bizarre rather than credible. But that’s the truth.
Unknown Speaker [16:03]
I have done nearly 600 shows. And I’ve heard the similar story time and time again. And time, most of us back to that age of five to eight, when we didn’t care about stuff. It was just what we wanted to do it sound natural being and as we see time and time again, on this show, you lose yourself somewhere in your teens in your mid 20s. And then you reconnect and it’s tapping into your natural being right at the beginning. So it doesn’t I don’t you know, I go with it totally that as a five year old, you thought that you were going to do something remarkable. It just takes a while to find that thing doesn’t
Ross Jeffries [16:37]
it? took me a long time. I tried stand up comedy and failed miserably. I tried writing comedy for movies, and all I succeeded in doing is writing one of the worst movies ever made. The American film critic Leonard Maltin called it a cinematic abortion, some words to that effect, and it crushed me I quit doing that. I was a little assistant for quite some years and got pretty good at it. But that’s working inside the office from nine to five or from eight to whatever eight to four, and you don’t get to see that day. And so that wasn’t for me there. I always knew I was not made to work for other people that’s not have. Some people love it. I’m just not designed for it. But let’s
David Ralph [17:20]
play some words. Now. Then we’re going to delve back into that moment when you start shutting your words down into a book and publishing Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey [17:28]
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe
job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [17:53]
Now, you obviously took a chance, but what interests me is that you’re quite open to say that you were very shy and awkward when he was younger. And so he put put this knowledge into a book and then publish it and get it out there that that’s that’s bold, that’s ballsy. That’s taking a stand, which many people would
Ross Jeffries [18:12]
always Yeah, that’s true. And that attitude of being willing to be a kind of classic even to offend people was put into me, by my mother. My mother was my biggest I mean, my father was a hard worker, and never stopped. He worked three jobs put food on the table was a very devoted, and dedicated man, no well educated man, by the way, he held three or four different degrees in different subjects was a licensed chiropractor. But my mother was the one who quite plainly said to me, you know, kid, you’re going to grow up to be an iconoclast. And she also said, if you’re not offending at least five people a week, you’re not doing your job. And so my mother encouraged all of this bad behavior on my part, actually wound up being quite lucrative for me and changing a lot of lives. So Mom, you passed on in 2007. But if you’re still around, which I don’t believe, by the way, thanks a lot.
David Ralph [19:11]
So she saw your success. She saw you starting to make moves.
Ross Jeffries [19:16]
Yeah. Oh, yeah. She saw she lived to see me quite famous and quite successful. And she is very proud of me. She would get interviewed, she say, Well, you know, that seduction stuff that’s just a front he’s really a very good boy. And he’s healing people with NLP, which to some extent is true. I consider myself not a pickup artists there guys out there. I think we’re much better on the pole. What I am is the best teacher and the best coach. And I’m a healer too. I do fantastic hypnotic work. And I’m trained in other disciplines as well.
David Ralph [19:46]
So when you saw that film Magnolia, which they say is based on was that something that fit the ego? Or did you mean Oh, my God, look at this, because I must admit, I’ve got I’ve got a story about this film, I actually drank a six pints of lager before I went to see it. And I saw that sort of first 10 minutes, and then I woke up to see a load of rocks falling down. And it was it was like three days long or something. So I’m not the greatest review ice. Well, I don’t know what you’re thinking.
Ross Jeffries [20:16]
You’re making me choke. I have to take a sip of coffee. Okay.
Ross Jeffries [20:22]
Oh, my other executive assistant just walked into the room. She’s a main can get.
David Ralph [20:28]
Yes, go ahead. So what was your opinion on that film? Was it good for you? Was it good for business? Was it an imbalance and
Ross Jeffries [20:35]
it was fantastic. First of all, I love the film in general. That film was based on the work of Charles fort Charles for it was like The X Files of his day and even that bit about frogs writing from the sky. He studied that anomalous rain and fish and reptiles he reported on that UFO was that was who he was for his day. He was quite famous, and I’m a 40. And myself, so I’m enjoying it on that level. I thought the acting was great. But I think you’re getting down to Tom Cruise playing me or version to me in the phone. I think he did a great job. I really do. Some of what he some of it actually went with my intellectual property lawyer, Janine, who I had a big thing for and she would not go out and he said, I was a client. I said, Janine, you have to go out with me now and see a movie. This is business. So she said, You’re right. And I fell, it literally fell out of my chair laughing when he came on and did that first scene. So I think he did a pretty good job. I wish they would have hired someone a lot taller. I’m six foot two, he’s five foot four.
David Ralph [21:38]
So who would you have had?
Ross Jeffries [21:41]
Let’s see, well, who would I have had?
Ross Jeffries [21:47]
This the guy who plays Jason Statham. I love Jason Statham, the guy who plays he’s bald, you know, his
David Ralph [21:57]
beats everyone up.
Ross Jeffries [21:59]
Yeah, I was had someone top like that.
David Ralph [22:03]
And is that because obviously he is a very dominant personality in all films. He always plays a character that basically he’s whites left him or something. And he’s raising a kid on his own, but he can defend himself. So you’ve got that kind of sensitive.
Ross Jeffries [22:21]
him. I just love him. He’s one of my favorite actors. Tom Hanks is probably my favorite actor, but he would not be good in that role. It would say this cast.
David Ralph [22:30]
So do you remember when you first realized that the venture was starting to pay off? Do you remember the first money that came through to you based on Oh, yeah, on this?
Ross Jeffries [22:39]
Yes, yes, I used to get checks in the mail to a mailbox I have in Culver City. You know, I had that mailbox for 20 years until the owner was the facility and we would still get fan mail on occasion. But yeah, I remember getting the checks and bringing them home and throwing them on the kitchen table and showing into my mom, I only really started to get approval from the family when the money started coming in. I remember that. I remember doing one of my very first seminars, this is a great story. I’ve never told this on the air. I remember doing one of my very first seminars. And I told my business partner Give me the cash. And I went up to the room and I stripped naked and I threw the cash around and rolled around in it.
David Ralph [23:24]
And what was that to prove to yourself or
Ross Jeffries [23:28]
anything? It was just a moment of joy and enjoyment.
David Ralph [23:32]
When you look at the money now obviously you’re wealthy man. Now I know you
Ross Jeffries [23:37]
had a phone, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I’m not a wealthy man.
Ross Jeffries [23:44]
By any means. Inland Revenue took a huge chunk of my money. So I’m not a wealthy man. And also, I’ve never been in particularly good businessman. I’m a creative genius and an artist. But there are people in my field who far outstripped me as business people and or organizers and building business team. So
David Ralph [24:03]
what would you even if you say you’re not wealthy? What would you classify as wealthy?
Ross Jeffries [24:11]
Oh, dear, I don’t know someone who’s worth a few million dollars. So I’m lucky in the sense of being in love with what I do and having a fulfilled life. But you know, there’s not, there’s not the money in the seduction game that you used to because you gotta remember when I first started doing this, I was the only one doing this from 1988 to like, 1999 we were coining money, my former business partner and myself. And by the way, I lost a tremendous amount of money in our business divorce. So I’ve gone through some serious financial setbacks.
David Ralph [24:48]
It’s a poison, not the money vain, because I would have thought this was like, you know,
David Ralph [24:53]
marriages and deaths and birth, so all you want and getting your anyways is what most men one, I would have thought it was printing money.
Ross Jeffries [25:02]
As I said, for a period of time, we were printing money. Then around 1999. I started have competitors doing business. And they were much better organized as businesses, I’ll say again, I’m not a particularly good businessman at all. I’m a great artist, a great teacher, a great creator, a great healer and a great public personality. But I’ve never been a particularly good businessperson, I had a business partner. We were coining money. So what shifted for me is we had tremendous amount of competition that we never had before. Imagine if you had a monopoly on the petrol business, yeah. And then suddenly 50 competitors 50 different petrol stations popped up around you, it would change the game entirely. And then, so I lost a lot of money in my business divorce when I my partner, and I split up and then Inland Revenue, took a gigantic chunk of my, my change. So
David Ralph [26:01]
I’m rebuilding. And I’m sure you
David Ralph [26:03]
Oh, yeah. So So where’d you go home now? Where’s where do you lie you I
Ross Jeffries [26:08]
to America’s best city, America’s finest city, San Diego, California. I lived in LA, all but 10 months of my life. I’ve been in San Diego 10 months, and I absolutely adore it. It is a wonderful, wonderful city. La was a gigantic sprawling mess. I describe la as follows. Take a plate of spaghetti, curl it against the wall. And some of it will stick in the middle. But most of it will crawl down the wall in different patterns that you cannot discern. That’s Los Angeles, a sprawling, crowded, dirty Metropolitan ness of the city. The San Diego is much laid back, it makes more sense as a place to live. And I’m in love with the city.
David Ralph [26:55]
I’ve been to San Diego several times it’s got a kind of almost I don’t know, village III feel a they didn’t feel like a city. Now it also has a big pole for the entrepreneurs of the world, especially in the online world. Right. I seem to head there. Is that something that you pick up? Is there a vibe there that you can
Ross Jeffries [27:14]
see creativity? There is a very much entrepreneurial vibe in San Diego, particularly for people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. It’s very much a place for entrepreneurs, particularly startups and people who are doing small businesses. I wouldn’t say it’s for giant corporations. They have a presence here. But they certainly are not not building businesses here in the sense that they’re starting. They’re starting from nothing.
David Ralph [27:42]
And he’s an exhilarating to you.
Ross Jeffries [27:45]
Yes, very much. So, you know, part of what I’m transitioning to is the teaching and training small businesses and how to use these persuasive language skills do double or triple their sales closings and conversions. Because essentially, it’s the same thing. It’s a seduction when you do selling.
David Ralph [28:06]
But let’s talk about that them because that is you know, that is fascinating about the two Ralph tales. So well, it that come out of the realization that a seduction game was going one way did you start pivoting? Or is this been something that you’ve been aware of? I’ve always
Ross Jeffries [28:22]
been I fell in love with language. And one of the great, one of my confessions is, I’m deeply in love with language. And this started when I first picked up some books about NLP, written by the creators of NLP. But then I read a particular rather obscure book called Prometheus rising by Robert Anton Wilson. And that book by Wilson really showed how people create their own realities through how they use language, and structure their belief systems, I thought, Wow, this is great stuff. And I just simply recognize is that it applied to every area of life. And then I thought, you know, let’s go teach persuasion for these businesses, there’s a lot more money there, and a lot more money there. And plus, I’d rather speak in front of an audience, where half the audience is attractive women, then all male. So let’s make and see if I can turn it into a very highly paid dating service for me. Because when I’m up on stage, women approach me I don’t even have to do any of my own stuff. Because I’m so magnificent and dynamic. And charismatic when I’m on stage. If I do say my say, so myself,
David Ralph [29:40]
Well, you have done you have done is out there. Now. It’s all recorded. And what are they? What are they gaining from you these ladies? Are they gaining? From your competence? They gaining from your knowledge? How can they translate what you’re teaching them into actual business results?
Ross Jeffries [29:58]
Oh, well, she said, that’s a complex question. I’m teaching basic principles of persuasion that people don’t see on teaching language constructs, how to construct word for word, patterns. I’m teaching agreement frame, and these are technical jargon terms from NLP that would take hours to explain, but it translates into doubling or tripling their conversion sales or closings, but talk to anyone in business. If you can up your, your growth by 10%. If you could up your sales by 10%. That’s a big deal up them by 50 or 100%. That’s miraculous up them by 200%. You’re going out of your mind with joy. So I know things about persuasion, both in terms of principles, and practical applications. One of my cats is stuck in the closet and banging on the door. But we’ll just have to leave her stuck in there.
David Ralph [30:53]
Did you want to free up for a moment?
Ross Jeffries [30:56]
What did you want to get out? Get out? No show get out.
David Ralph [31:02]
We’ve your business was it as a surprise to you that it has taken on again, because a lot of businesses will get to a certain point. And then they will die. Others will continue to flourish up on the same trajectory that I had. You’re going off Enos of a different direction. Is this more exciting the second time than the first time?
Ross Jeffries [31:23]
Ross Jeffries [31:26]
you know, it’s a different flavor of excitement. I wouldn’t say it’s more, but it’s a different flavor of excitement. It’s a different kind of excitement. It’s not so much about becoming a worldwide movement, which is me applying my skill set to build the business.
David Ralph [31:44]
And you’re doing it on your own again, are you have you got business plan?
Ross Jeffries [31:47]
Yeah. This time I’m doing it on my own. And then I’m also looking into potential the possibility of building another business with my lady who’s a also healer, but that’s way too premature to look at. We really honestly, it’s not a good idea to do business with the person who you’re connected to emotionally.
David Ralph [32:10]
So why are you doing this again, Ross, when at the beginning you said you you’re not the greatest businessman, you yet you’re not you know, you’re a creative genius, as you say.
Ross Jeffries [32:20]
Because I have to have an outlet for my creativity. somebody to help
David Ralph [32:24]
me. Say again, why don’t you get somebody
David Ralph [32:27]
to help you, you know, another business person who can compliment
Ross Jeffries [32:32]
they’re not they’re not easy to? They’re not easy to find, believe me, I’m very open to it. They’re just not easy to find. And I found you have to be very, very careful and pick a business partner, it’s even more important than finding the right romantic partner.
David Ralph [32:48]
Yeah, I think you want and I think I certainly growing the show, too. I have I’ve had one or two people that were potential business partners, certainly in the virtual world, when you don’t actually personally meet a founder very difficult to actually get things done. Really, it was almost better than just doing it myself.
Ross Jeffries [33:08]
I agree. And I’ve had to, I have a business coach. And she said to me the other day in a concert said, Look, you’re going to have to do some things you hate. We all have to do some things we hate. That’s just the way it works. And in modern business. Now, I’m not sure I agree with her. At the moment, because I’m bootstrapping this business. I’m going to have to do things on my own. But I also have a significant support team, I have a really great operations manager. Without He’s my tactician, he executes my ideas. And he also shares ideas. I mean, without him, I would not be in business. I’ve,
Ross Jeffries [33:43]
well, I’m not going to share that that really, I’ll keep a thought to myself.
David Ralph [33:47]
You keep it in your head. But as you’re talking, there’s so many ideas popping into my head round about what you’re doing, because it can go literally fell away. And have you ever thought about doing sort of seduction or maybe having maybe you’re already doing this, but like the over 60s for the people that have been married for a long time they lose their partner,
Ross Jeffries [34:07]
I am I go out i i do have clients like that when I do live events. I get the full range of people in my seminars, everyone from 18 year old virgins to two guys in their 30s who are successful business people I get a significant minority, a significant percentage of minority percentage like anywhere from seven to 10%. of military including military Special Forces, I get the same small percentage but significant of law enforcement. I get guys who are really good with women better with women, I think than I am. They’re great experts on going on the pole. But they want that edge. They want every tool and weapon you might say in their arsenal to use an aggressive metaphor. So I call them edge junkies, they like to be on the cutting edge. And I get very successful business people the other day, someone ordered over $1,000 of products. And when someone does that I pick up the phone I call them personally. Turns out this guy has a mortgage brokerage with over 200 loan agents across 20 states. So you better believe we’re going to have a longer conversation about me coming in and doing trainings for his company.
Ross Jeffries [35:26]
So you never know who you’re going to get. I’ve heard I can’t prove this. I heard that Russell.
Ross Jeffries [35:37]
Not Russell Brand, the comedian but Russell Crowe. Is that his name
David Ralph [35:40]
on the Australian?
Ross Jeffries [35:42]
Yeah, I’ve heard that he came to one of my early seminars in London, but I certainly wouldn’t remember. That’s the one I will couple of my students told me as really I don’t remember that.
David Ralph [35:53]
I can’t understand a word that man says in any field.
Ross Jeffries [35:59]
Right and commander,
Ross Jeffries [36:01]
master and commander, that movie about him being a commander of a British warship.
David Ralph [36:09]
He’s like a big rally dog basically. And as I say, on understand single word he said,
Ross Jeffries [36:17]
understood, listen, you’ve got your own presenters. And you have a presenter.
Ross Jeffries [36:22]
Jonathan Ross, you can’t even say his own name. Yeah, absolutely.
David Ralph [36:28]
And and is that is that actually somebody for the listeners out there? Jonathan Ross. He is a presenter in the United Kingdom has been going for years and years and years, and he’s renowned but not being able to say he’s ours. And that is become his thing. Does that work? Having a thing? Does that work with the ladies?
Ross Jeffries [36:46]
I wouldn’t think that thing would work I would create. Yeah, I just have a terrible lyst which I’ve had corrected through just a couple of weeks of speech therapy when I was a teenager. If I were him, I would correct that. He comes off as ridiculous. I’m sorry a piece of saying I’m a fan. I love him as a presenter. He presents his show here in America, called Penn and Teller’s fool us where these two famous magicians watch magic acts. And the point is to see if those magicians can fool Penn and Teller so Penn and Teller can tell how they’re doing the trick. I think it’s a wonderful presenter, but personally it’s it’s annoying to me to hear his speech back. away. Yeah. Which, by the way, if I could. Another one of my weapons you might say is my voice. Women Tell me like this woman who I’m seeing shortly told me that my voice makes sure Solar Plexus and vibrate. And I’ve been told by many women that have a great voice. So training the voice to be deeper and more seductive is something that I’ve also begun to do, guys. If you have a voice that is not resonant. Take an acting class, go see a speech, coach. Take a few lessons like that. It’ll change your love life significantly. When I speak like this, women turn their heads I don’t get disrespected. I may not always get what I want. But I’m never disrespected and never shut down. Because they respect the voice.
David Ralph [38:18]
And what about my voice Paul? What? What would you say about my voice? Is it okay for this job? Is it okay to go out on the pole with a voice like this?
Ross Jeffries [38:29]
Oh, goodness, your voice is fine. And you’re I don’t know about your face? No, I’m kidding. Your voice is fine. Your voice is fine. You wouldn’t be if you had a bad voice. You couldn’t do a world famous podcast good you.
David Ralph [38:43]
Oh, yeah. But isn’t it more the personality and the voice that combines? You know, isn’t it? It’s the
Ross Jeffries [38:49]
same breed, isn’t it? For sure. But in the beginning and a woman doesn’t can’t read your personality. And also, you know, in the beginning, when I’m first going to say hello, I dropped the voice another octave. So if I say excuse me, they always turn around and look and it’s almost like a cop saying would you get out of your car please step out of the car. They pay attention.
David Ralph [39:15]
He’s probably got something to do with and their father spoke to them, I imagine.
Ross Jeffries [39:19]
No, no, there’s been scientific studies showing that voice actually the way you speak can can through the vibration of the muscles in the middle air here can turn on and affect the poly vago system. The poly Vegas system has to do with it seventh or eighth cranial nerve called the Vegas nerve that runs all the way down down the center line of your body to your gut. I’m not making this up. This is not pseudoscience. This is science.
David Ralph [39:51]
And what’s he called the poly vago system.
Ross Jeffries [39:54]
Yes. Look up Polly vago theory by Stephen
Ross Jeffries [40:01]
porches p o RG. Yes. You can google it right now. And you’ll see I’m not making this up.
David Ralph [40:08]
You know, the next show that I do? I’m going to go Hello. Welcome to join up dots.
Ross Jeffries [40:13]
It would that might that might be sexy. That’s ridiculous. Because you’re producing that by putting your treasure chest. That’s not being resonant. That’s simply choking off the airflow. You did that even though I didn’t see you produced it by putting your chin to your chest. Did you not?
David Ralph [40:30]
I did. Yes. You’re You’re spot on by that?
Ross Jeffries [40:33]
Yeah, well see when I’m doing it, I’m I’m simply creating more resonance due to control my vocal cords, my position and my chin is not changing. It also has to do with being able to breathe from a different place in your body. But this is sort of advanced stuff. It’s it’s hard to describe. By the way, I’m getting immense and you’re a great interviewer I’m really enjoying this, it really does feel like we’re sitting across the table from each other sharing a drink, I like vodka,
David Ralph [41:00]
cold, I’ll put an umbrella in it and slide it your way. But thank you so much for about
Ross Jeffries [41:06]
the only time I drank I don’t drink beer with just vodka.
David Ralph [41:10]
So what we’re going to do, we’re just going to play the words of Steve Jobs, who created this whole show the theme of the whole show, based on his famous connecting the dots Bay Area’s Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [41:21]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [41:56]
To have your dots lined up, can you look back and join them up?
Ross Jeffries [42:02]
Wow, that is one of the most profound questions I’ve ever heard. I never knew the twists and turns that this venture this journey would take me upon. So I would have to say, in some ways they have. Because I have become that person is shaking up the world. I really have created a whole subculture. But my story isn’t finished yet. So I haven’t gotten to the finish line of the story to be able to look back and see how they connect. So I would say yes. And now I would say yes and no. And if you look back on your life up to this point, knowing that even greater stuff is coming your way. Is there a big.in your life that you think yeah, that that’s when things really started to show me the path of how to get to where I am now.
Ross Jeffries [42:55]
There were more than one. Can I share those with you?
David Ralph [43:00]
Absolutely Go for it.
Ross Jeffries [43:02]
The first one oddly enough, is when I met my marketing mentor, a gentleman who’s passed on by the name of Gary Halbert. And Gary Halbert really taught me how to write copy, you know, write ads. And he taught me some fundamental principles. One of the things he said before I really be I was Ross Jeffries, but I hadn’t really developed a character. Gary said this, he said, No one has time to try to figure out your pathetic suddenly. And they have that really clicked. So that was a connecting and one dot. The second connecting of the dot was the moment I was sitting in the bookstore, reading frogs and two princes by Richard Ballmer and john grinder. I remember saying this NLP stuff, I’m going to make it my life. This is my life. I remember having the vision of being in a hurricane being blown off my feet and wrapping my arms around a big palm tree and that palm tree was NLP. I remember thinking, I’m going to master you, I don’t care what it takes. That was a big one. And the third doc that really connected for me was when I met my meditation, teacher shins and young when I read his book, breakthrough pain, and it just changed my whole way of looking at emotions, and human experience. So those were three.
Ross Jeffries [44:21]
Those were three really, really big dots here in terms
David Ralph [44:27]
is fascinating, isn’t it? Because it’s not until you come on to a show like this. I’ve done as I say, 600 episodes. And when I’m hearing you talk, I reflect on my own lives. And that that speech that Steve Jobs did, is going to live with us forever. I’m absolutely convinced it’s going to be one that people are going to reflect on because it is so spot on, isn’t it?
Ross Jeffries [44:49]
I don’t know, I don’t know that it applies to many people tell you the truth. Many people don’t have a direction they live, they eat, they procreate, they replicate, and they die. So and also Steve Jobs is a billion was a billionaire. Coming from the mouth of a billionaire, it’s easy to say, oftentimes, you really wander off the path and get lost. I’ve been lost many, many times. But it’s my passion for what I do that has brought me back over and over, I’ve quit my career twice, both times because of personal health issues. Or were the first time was created burnout. The second time was because of health issues and some creative burnout, when you’re super creative, and I’m going to take credit for that I am super, super creative. I’m them. And I’m told by people, I’m the most creative person that are met, you’re going to have burnout and or if not burnout, you’re just going to need to create to rest your creative muscles from time to time. So it’s easy for Steve Jobs, I think to have made that statement in his position at the that time of his life.
David Ralph [46:00]
Yet to get there didn’t he had to get to that position. So he had to have done things and take an action and had the idea true.
Ross Jeffries [46:06]
That’s true. And he was also from every biography, he was quite a ruthless and even nasty person.
David Ralph [46:15]
Would you at this point, before we send you back in time, which we’re going to do because we’re coming to the end of the show? Would you
Ross Jeffries [46:22]
know, I want to keep talking to you?
David Ralph [46:24]
Where do f3 our one where keep on going? But would you say to yourself that your life has been just as you want it? Or do you look back on things and think oh, surely I just feel like I’m getting going now I’m running out of time? You know, you got years ahead. But do you feel like your ambition is greater now than it’s ever been?
Ross Jeffries [46:47]
You ask really profound questions. I would say my ambition is roaring back. Because I want to speak and career, I really want to speak to the public in general. In addition to do training, I want to speak before large groups of audience about the transformational power of language, about how falling in love with language can be one of the best things that could ever happen to you about how to use your language, to free your world instead of freeze it. That’s what I really, I have a passion for that. And I have a profound passion for building a healing practice. I’m a really, really good healer. And for the last two years, I’ve just been putting it out there in the reality that I would like to meet a woman who could stand by my side and and do healing work with me. And I just met her. So that’s pretty amazing. turnaround in my life, I’m going to see her in about an hour from now.
David Ralph [47:47]
Until you know, it’s good, you’re happy, everything’s great.
Ross Jeffries [47:51]
My life is a struggle. And as well as being happy, I’m really struggling. And I’m battling our version of Inland Revenue, which is not pleasant. Trust me, you don’t want to have a fight with those folks. Ever, ever? I don’t know. Have you ever had problems with your England revenue?
David Ralph [48:08]
No, a great deal. No one or two little things I generally put me money away each month, make sure it’s there and been added a little bit in case I turned nasty on me.
Ross Jeffries [48:18]
Trust me, this is a major fight. And it’s a fight for survival. You don’t want to get into it. Yeah, it’s one of the most stressful things you can experience. But I think I’ll come out okay.
David Ralph [48:31]
Well, I wish you the best on that because you a great guy. And we’re going to see even more of you now because of you are going on a journey to speak to your younger version. And this is the part of show that we call the Sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young grace, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out because I’m going to play the music. And when it fades Europe, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Ross Jeffries [49:20]
I would say to myself when I was 18 or 19 still a virgin. I would say Fear not your greatness is ahead of you. I will walk by your side and open the path of
Punahou to you and you will be great in my service. Amen.
David Ralph [49:42]
And what would that be the path of who Nami WhatsApp
Ross Jeffries [49:44]
Koon on a the path of the path of
Ross Jeffries [49:50]
David Ralph [49:52]
Okay, it makes it all clear for me. Right? Okay. I wasn’t expecting that to be the last word on the show. But I suppose that’s perfect. That’s the perfect branding for it. Oh, that’s what it’s all about. What’s the number one best way audience can connect with you sir?
Ross Jeffries [50:10]
Well, I think if you’re interested in my seduction stuff, I have a dynamite free course on meeting women anytime, anywhere. If you go to seduction comm slash free. That’s seduction comm slash free. Yes, we will ask for an email address. But we don’t spam you. You can opt out of our mailing list anytime you want. So that’s the seduction side. If you’re interested in learning persuasion from me, if you want me to come in and train your company, or train you personally as an entrepreneur or train like that, you just go to Ross Jeffries, live com je FF r IE s. That’s Ross Jeffries. live.com. And that’s how you can get in touch with me. You can also do that if you want me on your podcast or your radio or TV show. We just I did a documentary last year that’s just now going through its final edit and I’ve a feeling see me there I make it an offer for a TV show. It was pretty good damn good documentary.
David Ralph [51:13]
Well, good luck on over and from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Ross Jeffries. Thank you so much.
Ross Jeffries [51:31]
My pleasure. Genuinely My pleasure.
David Ralph [51:35]
Mr. Ross Jeffries, then legend of seduction, we’ve got things in common. I’m just known as the legend of sedation, eBay, it works in his own way. Thank you so much for listening to this. Thank you so much for being part of join up dots. And as I always say, Good chance we’re going to be again next week or tomorrow. Not sure what day is. Look after yourself. Cheers. Bye
David doesn’t want you to become a fated version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow and join up dots.